“Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles

“Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles

I don’t agree with all of this person’s red flags, but some of them may be worthwhile to keep in mind.

 (Link): “Immediately no”: Mental health expert shares red flags on dating profiles

Excerpts:

by C. Ferris
June 2, 2022

In a now-viral TikTok video, a mental health expert discussed what would cause her to not match with someone on a dating app.

Karli Kucko, LPC-A shares content about mental health on her TikTok and Instagram accounts @karli.k.counseling. She recently posted a video on her TikTok where it garnered more than 100,000 views. The video, which discussed seeing people making demands on their profile, was the first of several that touched on behaviors that would cause her to “swipe left.”

Viewers found these points helpful, and many shared what they considered to be red flags when they peruse dating apps themselves.

Good Morning America outlined a few tips for a strong dating profile, which include users posting good quality photos, writing “just enough” about themselves and being up-front with their intentions.

Matthew Hussey, a New York Times bestselling author and dating expert, told the outlet that there is a way to be open and honest while remaining positive.

“If you’re going to say you want something serious, frame it in a positive way rather than a negative one,” he said. “You don’t want to come across as bitter or jaded.”

In Kucko’s first video, she said something that would make her “swipe left” is seeing someone making demands on their profile. She noted that statements like “have to have, can’t do, must do,” were some examples of phrases that led to her not matching with someone.

Continue reading ““Immediately No”: Mental Health Expert Shares Red Flags on Dating Profiles”

Men Who Pose Shirtless on Dating Apps are Unappealing and Slutty: Study


Men Who Pose Shirtless on Dating Apps are Unappealing and Slutty: Study

I appreciate that we’re living in an era where men are starting to be called or thought of as “slutty.” 😂  For years being a “whore” or a “slut” were terms reserved for women only.

The cultural assumption was that it was okay for men to sleep around as much as they want to, and they were considered studly, but if a woman slept around – not even that much – she would get branded as “slutty” or “loose.”

(Link):  Want to impress on your Tinder profile? Keep your top ON! Men who pose topless are seen as less competent and more promiscuous, study reveals

May 24, 2022

While dating apps were once seen as taboo, they’re now one of the main ways that singletons find love around the world.

But if you have a profile on a dating app, a new study may encourage you to reassess which pictures you include.

Researchers from the University of Colorado have revealed that men who pose topless on Tinder are seen as less competent and more promiscuous.

Continue reading “Men Who Pose Shirtless on Dating Apps are Unappealing and Slutty: Study”

My Date Had A Toilet Fetish – He Wanted To Lick Me Clean by Anonymous

My Date Had A Toilet Fetish – He Wanted To Lick Me Clean by Anonymous

🧻🚽🪠

This is one of the grossest things I’ve ever read.

Aside from the grossness – the fact that the guy did get overly familiar too fast is a huge red flag.

If you want to avoid weirdos and narcissists as much as possible, take any new relationship slowly (narcissists in particular love to speed things up and pressure you for commitment right away, as do some non-narcissistic abusive and controlling men – they might seriously discuss marriage on a very first date (saying already they can picture the two of you together, married) or propose marriage by the second date, or whatever. Red Flag!)

Getting back to the grossness – this man she didn’t know well tells her he has a “toilet fetish.” messyToilet

He wanted to use his tongue to clean her private area, including, it seems, the area around her anus , after she used the bathroom.

Aside from just being weird and gross, that’s a good way of getting diseases and becoming ill. If there’s any fecal matter in the area, that is loaded with bacteria, and if you ingest it, it can make you very sick (more info here). 

The following story gets more and more off kilter the more it goes on:

(Link): I thought my date was going to propose – instead he told me he had a toilet fetish

By Anonymous
May 28, 2022

Signing up for online dating was a big deal for me. 

Coming out of an abusive relationship had left me too scared to be intimate with anyone and so I remained single for many years. But, after a decade, I finally felt ready to dip my toe back into the dating pond again.

Setting up a profile on a couple of dating sites, I went on a few boring dates.

There was, however, one guy who seemed different. His messages were almost poetic. He seemed thoughtful, considerate, and gentle.

[She and the guy began contacting each other, and the guy came on too strong too fast]

We didn’t know each other. How on earth could he ‘shine’ for me?!

The next day more texts came, expressing how excited he was to meet me. He knew I was ‘the one!’ I was baffled. 

Continue reading “My Date Had A Toilet Fetish – He Wanted To Lick Me Clean by Anonymous”

First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

Disclaimer (if you’re new to the blog): I am not “anti-family.”
If people, of their own informed volition, decide to have children, that is fine by me.
But I am opposed to the guilt tripping or shaming by some adults (who are usually religious or conservative) to pressure other adults (and it’s usually women who are the targets of pro-natalism propaganda) into having children.

I found some of the reasons the young, childfree or anti-natalist people cited in this article below for not having children to be strange or idiotic, but it’s not my place – or yours – to dictate to them if they have children or not.

(Link): First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss

Inside America’s Baby Bust. Meet the young women who never want to have kids.

October 2021

… Americans are making fewer babies than we’ve made since we started keeping track in the 1930s. And some women, like Diamond, are not just putting off pregnancy but eliminating the possibility of it altogether.

Last year, the number of deaths exceeded that of births in 25 states — up from five the year before. The marriage rate is also at an all-time low, at 6.5 marriages per 1,000 people.

Millennials are the first generation where a majority are unmarried (about 56%). They are also more likely to live with their own parents, according to Pew, than previous generations were in their twenties and thirties. 

They also aren’t having sex. The number of young men (ages 18 to 30) who admit they have had no sex in the past year tripled between 2008 and 2018.

Cities like New York, where young, secular Americans flock to to build their lives, are increasingly childless. In San Francisco, there are more dogs than children.

Continue reading “First Comes Love. Then Comes Sterilization. by Suzy Weiss”

Woman Plays Matchmaker for Her Single Grandmother, Spending $60 to Pose as Her on Match (Dating Site)

Woman Plays Matchmaker for Her Single Grandmother, Spending $60 to Pose as Her on Match (Dating Site)

(Link): Woman Plays Matchmaker for Her Single Grandmother, Spending $60 to Pose as Her on Match (Dating Site)

by Carly Stern
April 22, 2022

A New York woman played cupid for her grandmother, finding the older woman a boyfriend on a dating app from over a thousand miles away.

Carli Costello, 29, is happily married, but she recently shelled out $60 for a one-month subscription to Match.com.

She signed up as her own grandmother, creating a profile and messaging men to help her grandma find love.

She’s sent the pest picks to grandma, who lives in Florida, via text, and ultimately set her up with a man whom she is now happily dating.

Continue reading “Woman Plays Matchmaker for Her Single Grandmother, Spending $60 to Pose as Her on Match (Dating Site)”

There Are Five Types of Toxic Partners – Are You Dating One? by Ellen Scott

There Are Five Types of Toxic Partners – Are You Dating One? by Ellen Scott

Word of wisdom: although the following web page discusses dating, you need to be aware that these same exact dynamics can and do turn up in platonic friendships, co-workers at your job, or among your family members.

Take what you read below about dating and apply it to non-dating relationships as well.

(Link): There Are Five Types of Toxic Partners – Are You Dating One? by Ellen Scott

Excerpts:

April 9, 2022

…But we all know that crushing hard can make you not notice glaring red flags, let alone the more subtle signs that something isn’t quite right.

The early warning signs that a relationship could become unhealthy can be even harder to spot.

Cathy Press has been working as working as a psychotherapist and clinical supervisor for over 25 years, specialising in domestic and sexual violence and abuse related issues, so she knows her stuff when it comes to love turning sour.

 Her new book, When Love Bites: A Young Person’s Guide To Escaping Harmful, Toxic and Hurtful Relationships, aims to equip people with the knowledge they need to avoid abusive partners, and the tools they need to escape the pattern.

A key part of this is understanding the five toxic types of partner – and then avoiding those at all costs.

Continue reading “There Are Five Types of Toxic Partners – Are You Dating One? by Ellen Scott”

“Lesbian” Dating App Frames “Trans Exclusion” A “Hurdle,” Attempts to Cater to Male Users by A. Slatz

“Lesbian” Dating App Frames “Trans Exclusion” A “Hurdle,” Attempts to Cater to Male Users by A. Slatz

I’ve never been happy with the LGB left harassing Christian bakers over not wanting to bake cakes for homosexual weddings, which they did for many years, but, I also really, really do not support progressives harassing lesbian woman (or any woman of whatever sexuality) into dating people they do not want to date, but that is what they’ve been doing the last few years.

Men who say they are “transwomen” want to force biological women who are lesbian into dating transwomen… even including transwomen (men) who’ve not had “bottom surgery.”

That is, these are men who still have penises who are running around on social media and dating apps screaming that they are women and lesbians, and they demand the women lesbians date them and/or have sex with them.

That is wrong.

It is disgusting, and anyone supporting this and writing off any critics as being “TERFs,” bigots or transphobes is way off base, because what they’re doing is framing misogyny and sexism as being acceptable.

I’m a hetero, celibate, conservative woman, I’ve never been a “radical feminist,” but the homosexuals and radical feminists are correct to object to women being asked to prioritize the needs and feelings of biological men who are “transwomen.”

These businesses, such as these “lesbian dating apps” are in the wrong to include biological males in their platforms.

 (Link): “Lesbian” Dating App Frames “Trans Exclusion” A “Hurdle,” Attempts to Cater to Male Users

By Anna Slatz
April 1, 2022

A lesbian dating app is under fire after it appeared to frame female homosexuality as a “hurdle” that needed to be “overcome” by trans-identified males.

On March 31, lesbian activist and TikToker Shay Woulahan posted screenshots originally circulated by HER, a dating app intended to cater to the lesbian community. The app offers searchable profiles in a similar fashion to Tinder and Bumble.

“@HERSocialApp is celebrating Trans Day of Visibility by framing lesbians sexual boundaries as “hurdles” that need to be overcome,” Shay wrote on her Twitter, posting a screenshot showing the results of a survey conducted by HER which apparently had sought user feedback on “trans-specific hurdles” experienced on dating apps.

Of the options, “trans-exlusionary preferences” took the lead with 35.2% of responses.

…She later posted a second screenshot showing HER announcing it was taking steps to accommodate transgender users, with two new features in particular targeting “transphobia” on the app. One was called “Improved TERF control” which promised “severe penalties for transphobic language and behavior on the app.”

Continue reading ““Lesbian” Dating App Frames “Trans Exclusion” A “Hurdle,” Attempts to Cater to Male Users by A. Slatz”

Man Charged with Child Sexual Assault Targeted Single Moms on Dating Apps to Get Close to Their Kids: Police

Man Charged with Child Sexual Assault Targeted Single Moms on Dating Apps to Get Close to Their Kids: Police

If you’re a single adult with children, be careful who you date – this guy was targeting single women with children, so he could gain access to their children to molest or rape their children.

I remember when dating sites began getting more acceptable (now, people have moved on to apps), Christians would regularly advise their lovelorn single adult friends to “just try a dating site, that’s how my cousin Pam met her spouse Hank!” – er, no.

Your cousin’s luck not with standing, there are a lot of kooks, crazies, abusers, and selfish asshats on dating apps and sites of all ages (contrary to some 20 something lady’s post I recently saw, it’s not just today’s 20-something men who are selfish, rude, and sexist – this is true of men of all ages, and it was true of 20 something men on dating apps around the early to mid 2000s, back when I was using such sites).

So, to the married couples out there, please stop telling your single, lonely friends who want a spouse (or steady squeeze of some kind) in your perky, overly-optimistic voice, “Just try a dating site; it worked for my mailman Frank!”

The article says that this pervert is married!
I apologize for being so repetitive on this blog, but as so many social and religious conservatives continue to promote marriage, parenthood and The Nuclear Family to such an unhealthy degree, I have to remind them: marriage and parenthood do not make people more godly, mature, loving or ethical, nor will any of that “fix” sin in a culture.

This also goes against all the Christian guidance I read about dating and marriage in the 1980s and 1990s, which portrayed marriage as some kind of lofty achievement that one will only be granted by God if and when one reaches some level of spirituality, or maturity, or whatever.

The fact that so many jerky, abusive, loser, wacko Christian and Non-Christian people manage to get married goes to disprove those earlier Christian teachings that God will with-hold a spouse from you until you achieve perfection, when obviously less-then-perfect people manage to get married on a regular basis.

Now, I will say – the healthier you become (psychologically speaking), you will likely attract more healthy people in your life. If you continue on through life being a huge people pleasing, codependent doormat, you will likely attract narcissists, abusers, weirdos, the emotionally needy, and exploiters.

There are perverts like this guy on these dating sites and apps:

(Link): Accused sex predator targeted single mothers in Texas via dating apps, sheriff says 

March 30, 2022

The Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office is asking for potential victims who may have interacted with a suspect in an aggravated sexual assault of a child to come forward.

Epifanio Adolfo Jimenez has been arrested in connection to the case.

During the investigation, deputies learned Jimenez was targeting women with children through dating apps using the alias “Harley.”

The suspect allegedly asked to spend time with the women and their children.

(Link): Authorities seeking victims of man who targeted women with children through dating apps

According to the investigation, Jimenez is accused of targeting women with children through dating apps and then asking to spend time with their children under the alias “Harley.”

(Link): Man used dating apps to target single moms to get to their children, police say

(Link): Man Charged with Child Sexual Assault Targeted Single Moms on Dating Apps to Get Close to Their Kids: Police

Authorities say that 42-year-old Epifanio Adolfo Jimenez went by the name “Harley” on dating sites and specifically looked for women with children

By Steve Helling
March 31, 2022

A Texas man has been charged with sexual assault of a child — and authorities allege he has been targeting single moms through dating apps, then asking to spend time with their children.

Continue reading “Man Charged with Child Sexual Assault Targeted Single Moms on Dating Apps to Get Close to Their Kids: Police”

NYC Woman Accused of Holding Online ‘Date’ Hostage for $100K in Twisted Kidnapping, Torture Scheme

NYC Woman Accused of Holding Online ‘Date’ Hostage for $100K in Twisted Kidnapping, Torture Scheme

(Link): NYC Woman Accused of Holding Online ‘Date’ Hostage for $100K in Twisted Kidnapping, Torture Scheme

March 14, 2022
By Tamar Lapin

Late one night last month, a 24-year-old man headed to a Bronx apartment — believing he was about to hook up with a pretty brunette he’d met on Instagram.

It turned out to be a honeytrap that nearly cost him his life.

The woman he’d been chatting to was actually part of a group of sadists — who spent hours torturing the kidnapped man, even stabbing him while demanding $100,000 in ransom on a FaceTime call to his horrified brother, Manhattan prosecutors allege.

When police found the victim some 24 hours later, he was tied up and gagged in the back of a van — barely clinging to life.

Continue reading “NYC Woman Accused of Holding Online ‘Date’ Hostage for $100K in Twisted Kidnapping, Torture Scheme”

30 Horrible Dates Whose Entitlement Is Through The Roof 

30 Horrible Dates Whose Entitlement Is Through The Roof 

I am not about to copy all 30 items, so please use the link provided to visit their page if you’d like to see all 30.

As to one of the examples on the page, where the European guy tells his lady date she might be attractive if she only lost some weight – one of my friends went through this.

This friend of mine was trying dating sites in the late 1990s or early 2000s, and one of the guys she met at a dinner date, via this dating site she was using, actually told her if she wanted to date him, she’d have to lose weight.

This seems to be a somewhat common attitude by men who meet women on dates – tell them if they’d only change “X” about themselves (usually, it’s lose weight), they’d be attractive and worthy of a relationship.

This is a huge red flag. Most women who hear this will not date such a guy further.

I myself am a visually oriented woman who am not attracted to fatties, so my preference is to date in-shape guys

Therefore, I don’t have a problem per se with people who aren’t comfortable dating chubbies or fatsos, but if that’s you, you shouldn’t accept a date with an overweight person on a site only to spring this preference on them when you meet them in-person on a date, and tell them, “You know, I’d totally enter into a relationship with you if ONLY you’d lose weight,” for god’s sake!

If you can tell from the person’s dating app photo that they’re overweight in their dating site / app photos, then don’t approach them on the site for a date in real life, moron!

(Link): 30 Horrible Dates Whose Entitlement Is Through The Roof 

by Ieva Gailiūtė and Austėja Akavickaitė

Dating is complicated. After all, being selective has never been easier with the myriad of dating apps and websites that let you filter people based on their descriptions.

But let’s say you decide to go for it.

You message back and forth, awkwardly wait to be asked out, think of different conversation starters… only to discover that the person you’re interested in is way too picky to begin with.

So today, we’re diving into the not-so-pleasant incidents where people ran into dates who were ridiculously entitled. From insisting you own waterfront property to demanding a free Korean BBQ dinner, some people have unrealistically high standards.

We have combed through the internet and collected some of the best stories of people who think they inherently deserve more than anyone else…

#2 Guy Went On One Date With A Girl, Waited 3 Months Of No Contact Before Deciding To Pick Out Every Insecurity She Probably Has About Herself. Claims She Hurt His Ego, Then Proceeds To (Kind Of) Ask For A Second Date

Hello [name redacted]. I know we went on a date quite a while ago now but I’d like to explain why I haven’t messaged you.

I feel like you could have made the date much better, here’s a few reasons why. I apologize if I offend you

    • If you lost some weight you would look incredible. Maybe about a stone or so
    • You are very pale. I know you aren’t a fan of the sun but a bit of a fake tan won’t hurt
    • You have quite big boobs so you should show off cleavage more
    • I think you need to wear clothes that suit your figure and maybe update your style slightly. Just so I’m not embarrassed to be seen with you
    • You need to dye your hair a normal colour and add extensions. Longer hair is much more attractive 😍

Continue reading “30 Horrible Dates Whose Entitlement Is Through The Roof “

No More Tinder Swindler? Dating App Adds Background Checks

No More Tinder Swindler? Dating App Adds Background Checks

(Link): No More Tinder Swindler? Dating App Adds Background Checks

Mar 9, 2022
By Ariel Zilber

Tinder is partnering up with an app that offers online background checks so that users can research whether their dates have been convicted of violent crimes.

Match Group, Tinder’s parent company, announced the partnership with Garbo, the online platform that allows users to access public information including people’s arrests, convictions, and sex offender registry records.

Continue reading “No More Tinder Swindler? Dating App Adds Background Checks”

Inside the ‘Disposable’ Young American Dating Curse: ‘On to the Next One’ by A. Diaz

Inside the ‘Disposable’ Young American Dating Curse: ‘On to the Next One’

(Link): Inside the ‘Disposable’ Young American Dating Curse: ‘On to the Next One’ 

By Adriana Diaz
March 3, 2022

From “courtships” to “situationships,” dating in the USA sure ain’t what it used to be.

Most Americans believe young adults today face more challenges than their parents’ generation, particularly when it comes to saving for the future, paying for college, buying a home — and finding a spouse, according to the Pew Research Center.

A deluge of dating app options isn’t helping, either: The new study found that Americans are more than twice as likely to say younger adults today have it harder than their parents’ generation (46%) when trying to find a spouse compared to those that say they have it easier (21%). Around a third (32%) say the chances are about the same.

Continue reading “Inside the ‘Disposable’ Young American Dating Curse: ‘On to the Next One’ by A. Diaz”