Around 40% of American couples now first meet online by Dan Kopf

(Link): Around 40% of American couples now first meet online

by Dan Kopf

It is one of the most profound changes in life in the US, and in much of the rich world. Instead of meeting our partners in school, at work, or through friends and family, many of us now meet them online.

Some 39% of heterosexual couples that got together in the US in 2017 met online, according to a recently released study (pdf) by sociologists Michael Rosenfeld and Sonia Hausen of Stanford University and Reuben Thomas of University of New Mexico. This was also the case for more than 60% of same-sex couples that year.

Continue reading “Around 40% of American couples now first meet online by Dan Kopf”

Dating App Horror Stories That Will Make You Feel Thankful You Are Single on Valentine’s Day by D. Cho

(Link): Dating App Horror Stories That Will Make You Feel Thankful You Are Single on Valentine’s Day by D. Cho

Excerpts:

As if dating wasn’t hard enough, dating apps have found a way to turn things from hard to damn near impossible. Between dodging catfishes to praying your date is a real person and not a bot, the odds of finding love through an app can feel pretty low.

But there’s no reason to give up — dating can help build character … right? Fortunately for you, these online daters have decided to share their worst dating app experiences so you don’t have to feel alone, reminiscing about the times you wish you never swiped right.

Robin, 37

“After going on too many first dates that weren’t panning out, including one where I drove 40 minutes to hear a guy brag about illegally squatting in a foreclosed house for a year, I decided to filter the guys I date like I do for work. (I sometimes cast guys for dating shows.)

Continue reading “Dating App Horror Stories That Will Make You Feel Thankful You Are Single on Valentine’s Day by D. Cho”

Lovesick Singles Are the Biggest Target for Scam Artists by K. Paul

(Link): Lovesick Singles Are the Biggest Target for Scam Artists

Excerpts:

by K. Paul, Feb 2019

Romance-related scams are now the most costly form of online fraud, the Federal Trade Commission warned Tuesday.

Losses from dating-related fraud quadrupled in recent years, ballooning from $33 million lost in 2015 to $143 million lost in 2018. In many of these scenarios, people are convinced by strangers they meet online — often on dating apps — to fork over money.

Continue reading “Lovesick Singles Are the Biggest Target for Scam Artists by K. Paul”

Special Report: The Gamification of Courtship

Special Report: The Gamification of Courtship

(Link): Special Report: The Gamification of Courtship

Excerpts:

The gamification of courtship has gone global, from viral matchmaker shows in China to Tinder users who don’t stop swiping even after finding love.

The big picture: Apps are the new norm in dating. But the hyper-personalized and endless choices enabled by technology may actually be making it more difficult to meet “the one.”

Gamification is now built into dating:

  • TV series like “The Bachelor,” China’s “If You Are the One” and Britain’s “Love Island” have played off cultural courting traditions to create popular, dramatic and competitive game shows.
  • In apps, the format of swiping can intensify pleasurable chemical reactions in the brain and the “infinite scroll” persuades users to continue swiping into perpetuity.
  • With almost endless options for partners, dating has become about “fast sex, slow love,” Helen Fisher, chief scientific advisor for Match.com told Axios.

Continue reading “Special Report: The Gamification of Courtship”

These Statistics Show Why It’s So Hard To Be An Average Man on Dating Apps by Dan Kopf

These Statistics Show Why It’s So Hard To Be An Average Man on Dating Apps by D. Kopf

Do you know what’s more difficult than being an average man on dating apps? Being any type of woman. No, (Link): really. (Or use this link or this one.)

(Link): These Statistics Show Why It’s So Hard To Be An Average Man on Dating Apps

Dating apps are tough on the middle-of-the-road guy. If you are not one of the most desirable men on the app, you probably are not getting much attention.

Aviv Goldgeier, an engineer for the dating website Hinge, recently analyzed the share of “likes” on Hinge that went to the most-liked people of each gender.

Continue reading “These Statistics Show Why It’s So Hard To Be An Average Man on Dating Apps by Dan Kopf”

You Could Be Flirting On Dating Apps With Paid Impersonators by C. R. Stuart-Ulin


You Could Be Flirting On Dating Apps With Paid Impersonators by C. R. Stuart-Ulin

It’s a very long article. I read about 95% of it the other day – it’s sad and disturbing.

Some of the suggestions in the manuals the “dating closers” are told to follow by these companies are pretty sexist – they operate on sexist gender stereotypes of what they think women like and want.

(Link): You Could Be Flirting On Dating Apps With Paid Impersonators

Excerpts:

Every morning I wake up to the same routine. I log into the Tinder account of a 45-year-old man from Texas—a client.

I flirt with every woman in his queue for 10 minutes, sending their photos and locations to a central database of potential “Opportunities.” For every phone number I get, I make $1.75.

I’m what’s called a “Closer” for the online-dating service ViDA(Virtual Dating Assistants).

Men and women (though mostly men) from all over the world pay this company to outsource the labor and tedium of online dating. The matches I speak to on behalf of the Texan man and other clients have no idea they’re chatting with a professional.

Continue reading “You Could Be Flirting On Dating Apps With Paid Impersonators by C. R. Stuart-Ulin”

Romeo, The World’s Loneliest Frog, May Be Getting a Girlfriend

Romeo, The World’s Loneliest Frog, May Be Getting a Girlfriend

(Link):  Romeo, The World’s Loneliest Frog, May Be Getting a Girlfriend

Excerpts:

by Lynn Franco
Jan 2019

He’s spent 10 years alone. Now Romeo, the world’s loneliest frog, may have finally found a Juliet that can save his species

Scientists have found a potential mate for Romeo, the Sehuencas water frog who’s been alone and single for the last 10 years. Housed in a museum in Bolivia, Romeo was considered possibly the last living water frog of his kind.

The big-eyed amphibian won hearts worldwide last year after conservationists created a playful Match .com profile for him.

Continue reading “Romeo, The World’s Loneliest Frog, May Be Getting a Girlfriend”

Marriage Counselor Sentenced To Life For Killing Ex-Fiancee Who He Had Met On Dating Site

Marriage Counselor Sentenced To Life For Killing Ex-Fiancee Who He Had Met On Dating Site

So, Lester Winningham murdered Deborah Houchin – I believe this was around the year 2005.

Houchin was in her 50s, she was divorced. After being single for several years after the divorce, she wanted to remarry, her friends said.

So, she joined a dating site or two – I think one news source says she tried “Match .com”.

Houchin went on dates with a lot of men who ended up being creepy or weirdos, until she met Winningham, who seemed to be a great match – he seemed normal and kind. I guess he didn’t give off any red flags, not immediately.

Well, as it turned out, Winningham murdered Houchin.

Prior to that, he proposed marriage, but one of her friends suggested before she accepted, that she get him to sign a pre-nup, because she was financially well-off.

When Houchin brought up wanting a pre-nup with Winningham, he became infuriated, very hostile, and it frightened Houchin; she told one of her friends that he acted like a totally different man.

The police detectives later found out in their research on Winningham that he was broke, and in a lot of debt. He had only wanted to marry Houchin for her money.

Houchin had met Winningham on a dating site.

The kicker to this is that the murderer, Winningham, worked as a marriage counselor!

Sort of reminds me of the blog post I did a few years ago about a husband who had written a marital advice book (on how to have a great marriage) who (Link): shot his wife in her head and killed her.

Here are a few links about this horrible news story:

(Link): Marriage counselor convicted of killing ex-fiance

A marriage counselor was convicted today of fatally shooting his ex-fiance.

 Lester Winningham, 59, faces up to life in prison in the murder conviction. Jurors were expected to begin deliberating his punishment later today.

Winningham, a licensed psychologist, is accused of shooting Deborah Houchin three times in her Arlington home before dumping her body behind a mechanic’s shop in 2005. During three days of testimony, the jury was told how the couple fought often in the months before her death.

(Link): Marriage Counselor Sentenced To Life For Killing Ex-Fiancee Who He Had Met On Dating Site

A marriage counselor was sentenced to life in prison Friday for fatally shooting his ex-fiancee.

Earlier in the day, jurors convicted Lester Winningham, 59, of murder.

Authorities say the licensed psychologist shot Deborah Houchin three times in her Arlington home before dumping her body behind a mechanic’s shop in 2005.

Continue reading “Marriage Counselor Sentenced To Life For Killing Ex-Fiancee Who He Had Met On Dating Site”

A Grindr Harassment Suit Could Change the Legal Landscape For Tech – and Free Speech

A Grindr Harassment Suit Could Change the Legal Landscape For Tech – and Free Speech

(Link): A Grindr Harassment Suit Could Change the Legal Landscape For Tech – and Free Speech

Excerpts

Months of harassment led Matthew Herrick to file a lawsuit against the dating app — and he’s using laws meant to protect consumers from dangerous products to do so.

By David Ingram

[A guy named Matthew Herrick was harassed by his ex boyfriend on the Grinder app for many months]

He also filed a lawsuit against Grindr in 2017. The alleged harassment continued for months, even after Herrick obtained a temporary restraining order against Grindr that required the company to disable the impersonating profiles.

Continue reading “A Grindr Harassment Suit Could Change the Legal Landscape For Tech – and Free Speech”

Woman Allegedly Texted Man 159,000 Times After 1 Date: ‘I’d Make Sushi Out of Your Kidneys’

Woman Allegedly Texted Man 159,000 Times After 1 Date: ‘I’d Make Sushi Out of Your Kidneys’

(Link): Phoenix Woman Jacqueline Ades Accused Of Sending 159,000 Text Messages To Man After Failed First Date. The woman reportedly met the unnamed man on a dating site for millionaires

(Link): Woman Allegedly Texted Man 159,000 Times After 1 Date: ‘I’d Make Sushi Out of Your Kidneys’

Excerpts:

by KAREN MIZOGUCHI
January 04, 2019 05:48 PM

A woman in Arizona allegedly sent a man she met on a dating site more than 159,000 text messages over a 10-month period after just one date.

Jacqueline Claire Ades, who was accused of stalking the man by breaking into his home, was arrested in May by Paradise Valley police.

At the time, authorities alleged she had sent 65,000 texts after their only date. But police documents made public on Friday show that Ades, 31, allegedly sent many more messages.

Continue reading “Woman Allegedly Texted Man 159,000 Times After 1 Date: ‘I’d Make Sushi Out of Your Kidneys’”

The CEO Behind Tinder, OkCupid on the Future of Online Dating by C. Cutter

The CEO Behind Tinder, OkCupid on the Future of Online Dating – by C. Cutter, from WSJ

(Link): The CEO Behind Tinder, OkCupid on the Future of Online Dating

Excerpts:

Match Group chief Mandy Ginsberg talks about her first year on the job, the Facebook threat and tackling loneliness through technology

A decade ago, when Mandy Ginsberg asked couples how they met, some would give a fictitious answer: “Oh, we met through friends.”

When she then revealed she worked at an online dating company, their answers shifted: “Oh, we actually met through Match,” they told her.

In her nearly 13 years at Match Group Inc., MTCH 7.98% where she became chief executive in January, Ms. Ginsberg has watched the stigma of online dating fade almost entirely.

Today, many people even proudly pursue a multiapp dating strategy.

Continue reading “The CEO Behind Tinder, OkCupid on the Future of Online Dating by C. Cutter”

The Five Years That Changed Dating by A. Fetters

The Five Years That Changed Dating by A. Fetters

(Link): The Five Years That Changed Dating by A. Fetters

Excerpts:

Dec 2018

When Tinder became available to all smartphone users in 2013, it ushered in a new era in the history of romance.

….But in 2018, seven of the 53 couples profiled in the Vows column met on dating apps.

And in the Times’ more populous Wedding Announcements section, 93 out of some 1,000 couples profiled this year met on dating apps—Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, Happn, and other specialized dating apps designed for smaller communities, like JSwipe for Jewish singles and MuzMatch for Muslims.

The year before, 71 couples whose weddings were announced by the Times met on dating apps.

Matt Lundquist, a couples therapist based in Manhattan, says he’s started taking on a less excited or expectant tone when he asks young couples and recently formed couples how they met. “Because a few of them will say to me, ‘Uhhh, we met on Tinder’—like, ‘Where else do you think we would have met?’” Plus, he adds, it’s never a good start to therapy when a patient thinks the therapist is behind the times or uncool.

Continue reading “The Five Years That Changed Dating by A. Fetters”

Founder of Dating Site For Trump Fans Only Threatens To Sue Any Liberals Who Attempt to Join

Founder of Dating Site For Trump Fans Only Threatens To Sue Any Liberals Who Attempt to Join

(Link): Founder of Dating Site For Trump Fans Only Threatens To Sue Any Liberals Who Attempt to Join 

by Brad Reed
Righter, a new dating website for Trump supporters who feel they’ve been regularly rejected by prospective mates for their political views, is now threatening to sue any Trump critics who try to join.

 In an interview with the Daily Beast, Righter founder Christy Edwards Lawton said her website, which will officially launch later this month, will have “zero tolerance” for any liberals who sign up.

Continue reading “Founder of Dating Site For Trump Fans Only Threatens To Sue Any Liberals Who Attempt to Join”

Why I’d Rather Die Alone Than Date Online by B. Hallberg

Why I’d Rather Die Alone Than Date Online by B. Hallberg

The woman who wrote this is encouraging singles to give up with online dating.

(Link): Why I’d Rather Die Alone Than Date Online by B. Hallberg

I will copy excerpts from that article in below, but I first wanted to say a few things:

I’m kind of cautiously in favor of online dating myself. I’m not going to sit here at this point and tell anyone and every one to totally stay away from it.

I said cautiously – because there are in fact weirdos and criminals on dating sites, just like anywhere else, and, there is no guarantee you’re going to meet a great guy on those sites, even if you don’t run into any weirdos or serial killers.

So, I’m not against dating sites and apps per se, but I am very much against the attitude (held by a lot of already-married people), that if you’re single and want a mate, you will definitely get a mate via a site – well, no, that’s not how it works.

I was a member of two or three dating sites for several months, and I never got matches, or not matches that I was interested in meeting.

Continue reading “Why I’d Rather Die Alone Than Date Online by B. Hallberg”

The One Thing You’re Doing Wrong in Dating, According to The Founder of An Elite Dating App

The One Thing You’re Doing Wrong in Dating, According to The Founder of An Elite Dating App

(Link): The one thing you’re doing wrong in dating, according to the founder of an elite dating app

….According to a dating expert, there’s one main thing many of us are doing wrong in our quest to find love: writing a potential suitor off after just one date.

Thanks to romantic novels and rom-coms, lots of people expect to be swept off their feet or feel love at first sight on a first date. If they don’t, they don’t bother pursuing things with that person.

But this is largely unrealistic, and expecting there to be fireworks from the start is where many singletons are going wrong.

Continue reading “The One Thing You’re Doing Wrong in Dating, According to The Founder of An Elite Dating App”

A 69 Year Old Man Wants to Self Identify as a 40-Something to Increase His Chances on Dating Sites

A 69 Year Old Man Wants to Self Identify as a 40-Something to Increase His Chances on Dating Sites

(Post Updated Below, December 2018)

I wonder if this man, named Ratelband, is like 99% of men – a sexist ass clown, who, despite being 60-something, only wants to date 20 -something women?

This man says in one of these articles that when he joins dating sites and states his age as 60-something that he gets no responses, but I bet he does – probably from other 60- something women, but he probably only wants to date 21 year old women.

Most men are sexist, ageist douche canoes like that; they don’t want to date women their own age, nope; they feel entitled to women 10 or more years their junior.

(By the way, this dude thinks he has the face of a 40-something (he says so in one of the articles)? I am currently in my 40s as I compose this post, and no, honey, you don’t look like a 40-something man. You don’t even appear to be an attractive 60 something man, sorry.)

(Link): Man, 69, sues to lower age 20 years: ‘You can change your gender. Why not your age?’

Excerpts:

Ratelband cites several reasons as to why he wants to lower his age from 69 years to 49 years.

The Dutchman, who is a motivational speaker and media personality in the Netherlands, says that he’d likely have better luck dating, gaining employment, and making large purchases, such as homes or vehicles, if he were younger on paper.

…Ratelband adds, “When I’m on Tinder [dating site] and it says I’m 69, I don’t get an answer. When I’m 49, with the face I have, I will be in a luxurious position.”

“You can change your name. You can change your gender. Why not your age?” he asks.

Continue reading “A 69 Year Old Man Wants to Self Identify as a 40-Something to Increase His Chances on Dating Sites”

Widow, 35, and Her 12-Year-Old Son Are Knifed To Death By Violent Russian Criminal She Met On A Dating Site

Widow, 35, and Her 12-Year-Old Son Are Knifed To Death By Violent Russian Criminal She Met On A Dating Site

(Link): Widow, 35, and Her 12-Year-Old Son Are Knifed To Death By Violent Russian Criminal She Met On A Dating Site

by Will Stewart, November 9, 2018

A 35-year-old widow and her 12-year-old son have been stabbed to death by a violent criminal she met on a dating website.

[Photo caption: Ekaterina [the murder victim] (left) had met Batygin [the killer] on a dating website after her 61-year-old husband Vadim (together right) had died from a heart attack]

Ekaterina Smirnova was killed by Dmitry Batygin, 30, at her home in Moscow which was then filled with gas in the hopes it would explode and destroy evidence.

Police say Batygin carefully planned the murders, wearing shoe covers to disguise his shoe-prints and gloves so as not to leave fingerprints behind.

Continue reading “Widow, 35, and Her 12-Year-Old Son Are Knifed To Death By Violent Russian Criminal She Met On A Dating Site”

Country and Classic Rock Music Fans Get The Most Action on Dating Site, A New Survey Finds

Country and Classic Rock Music Fans Get The Most Action on Dating Site, A New Survey Finds

(Link): Country and classic rock fans get the most action on Plenty of Fish, a new survey finds

Excerpts:

by Nicole Lyn Peace

…Men who list country music as an interest on their Plenty of Fish dating profile receive 32% more messages from singles looking to mingle, while women who let their hair down to classic rock like Led Zeppelin, Queen and The Rolling Stones are 68% more likely to strike a chord with someone special, according to a new survey.

The online dating service scrolled through more than 9 million POF profiles to study the dating success of musically-minded singles on the app.

And it found male country music lovers have something to sing about.

Not only do they receive more in-app messages, but they are also 65% more likely to find their match on the app — perhaps because potential partners recognize that these cowboys are 49% less likely to be looking for just a quick hookup. (No wonder Blake Shelton is People’s Sexiest Man Alive for 2017; hold onto him, Gwen Stefani.)

Continue reading “Country and Classic Rock Music Fans Get The Most Action on Dating Site, A New Survey Finds”

Online Dating Study Says You’re Aiming Out Of Your League

Online Dating Study Says You’re Aiming Out Of Your League

This has always been more of a problem with men than with women.

I disagree with their study – the study, according to one article, says men have some success if they approach women out of their league.

Oh good lord no, don’t publish that – it will only encourage the losers, weirdos, or physically undeseireable to approach women more than they already do by giving them some kind of false hope. And that’s annoying.

This was especially a problem for me when I was college-aged – all the dorky guys who I had no interest in dating at all who would approach me thinking they had a shot, and they would not take “no” for an answer. They thought my “no” meant “try again, you can wear me down, and I’ll go out with you.”

(Link): Dude, She’s (Exactly 25 Percent) Out of Your League

Excerpts:

A massive new study of online dating finds that everyone dates aspirationally—and that a woman’s desirability peaks 32 years before a man’s does.

by Robinson Meyer

At this point, Elizabeth Bruch, a professor of sociology at the University of Michigan, crashes in to your thought process (and this news article).

Yep, she says. Leagues do seem to exist.

But you’re not alone in trying to escape yours: “Three-quarters, or more, of people are dating aspirationally,” she says. And according to a new study, users of online-dating sites spend most of their time trying to contact people “out of their league.”

In fact, most online-dating users tend to message people exactly 25 percent more desirable than they are.

Continue reading “Online Dating Study Says You’re Aiming Out Of Your League”

Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – on Not Wanting to Date Single Parents

Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – On Not Wanting to Date Single Parents

This following letter to an advice columnist (which is linked to and excerpted much farther down this blog post) is interesting, because I guarantee you had the guy written to “Ask Amy” of the “Ask Amy” column with the same concern, Amy would  not have been sympathetic to the guy.

Amy would’ve raked him over the coals for not oozing with love and compassion for the misbehaving stepchild.

Amy, as I’ve seen, always sides with the kids or the biological parent.

If you are a person married to someone who has a bratty kid who is driving you crazy (and even to the point of wanting to divorce!), Amy will shame you terribly over it.

Amy will scream and yell about you being selfish, and she will ask you to empathize with the misbehaving, rotten kid.

(That I can recall in all my years of reading her advice column, Amy has never shown empathy to the adult who is stressed and whose marriage is strained over a hard- to- handle step-child.)

This advice columnist,  though, takes the opposite approach and blames the biological mother; he holds her accountable for the poor marital dynamics.

Continue reading “Married To Person With Kid From Previous Marriage: Guy Says His Wife is Putting Her Son Before Their Marriage – on Not Wanting to Date Single Parents”