All Porn – Even “Ethical Porn” – is Bad for Your Sex Life No Matter What, So Stop It: BYU Study

All Porn – Even “Ethical Porn” – is Bad for Your Sex Life No Matter What, So Stop It: BYU Study

(Link):  BYU study shows all porn consumption negatively impacts relationships

In their research, the scholars accounted for differences between “mainstream” and more extreme types of porn.

(Link): Now scientists say even ‘ethical’ porn is bad and call for anyone who wants a healthy relationship to ditch it completely

March 18, 2023
by Luke Andrews

Hardcore, violent pornography is thought to have devastated the psyche of young American minds — warping their perception of relationships and sex.

But now experts are warning that even the more ethical ‘softcore’ variety is damaging, leading to poorer satisfaction with their other half.

Researchers at Brigham Young University quizzed 3,500 people in relationships who were about 38 years old on their porn use and happiness with their partner.

They were asked whether they watched hardcore porn — that included violence or rape — and softcore — including consensual sex.

Regardless of the category, those who watched porn were more likely to say they were not satisfied with their relationships.

The experts called on people to quit watching pornography entirely in order to help them maintain committed relationships.

Woman Banned from Zoo After Unhealthy Relationship with Chimp: ‘He Loves Me’ (2021)

Woman Banned from Zoo After Unhealthy Relationship with Chimp: ‘He Loves Me’ (2021)

Not sure how I managed to miss this news headline – it was first reported back in 2021, we’re now in 2023.

(Link): Woman banned from zoo after unhealthy relationship with chimp: ‘He loves me’

by Ben Cost
August 24, 2021

Forget a monkey’s uncle, this woman wants to be one’s wife.

A monkey-loving woman has been banned from visiting a male chimpanzee at a zoo in Antwerp, Belgium, after officials declared their relationship unhealthy for the animal’s socialization with other chimps.

“I love that animal and he loves me,” Adie Timmermans told Belgian channel ATV of her simian soulmate, according to LadBible.

The heartsick woman had reportedly been visiting the male chimp, named Chita, on a weekly basis for four years in what she described as a real “relationship.”

Digital Disloyalty: Study Says Online Flirting Can Destroy Real-Life Relationships

Digital Disloyalty: Study Says Online Flirting Can Destroy Real-Life Relationships

(Link): Digital disloyalty: Study says online flirting can destroy real-life relationships

July 2022
by John Anderer

HERZLIYA, Israel — Some consider flirting harmless, but new research suggests flirting online can ruin a real-life relationship.

Scientists at Reichman University report flirty online interactions with someone who isn’t your romantic partner can have a subtle, unconscious effect on how that person perceives their real-life loved ones.

In other words, flirting online may lead to someone seeing their partner as less attractive.

Divorce Attorney Reveals SHOCKING Reasons That DESTROY Relationships And Cause Bad BREAKUPS – via ‘Women of Impact’

Divorce Attorney Reveals SHOCKING Reasons That DESTROY Relationships And Cause Bad BREAKUPS – via ‘Women of Impact’

I’m not even half way done with this video yet (linked to and embedded below in this post), but this lady in the video is giving some great insights and advice. (I’ve just finished listening to the entire video, and it is worth the entire watch.)

The lady in the video mentions she didn’t get married until around (or a bit after?) age 40.

The divorce attorney (who later became a judge, if I understand correctly) said up until that point, she did get a lot of questions from people asking her why she wasn’t married yet.

(I also had to put up with that, or with other nasty assumptions, from others, when I was still single into my 30s. I was raised in a conservative Christian church, and a lot of Christians wrongly assume if you’re a woman who has not married by the age of 30 or 35, it’s because you are a man-hating feminist or that that you were too “career focused.” It’s a very victim-blaming, sexist world view.)

Some of the points this lady, Faith Jenkins, addressed in the video includes but is not limited to (these are also points I’ve learned along the way with life experience, and just mulling things over):

• You have to know who you are and figure out who you are before you get married.
• It’s far more healthy to learn to be single before you get married.
• Don’t wait to get married to start living and enjoying your life – she says, “being single is not a rest stop. [At the time I was single I concluded that] it’s time for me to really live.”
• Don’t look to someone outside of yourself to make you happy.

(Note from me, the blog owner: this is a big one.
If you go through life making your sense of self worth, happiness, or opinion about yourself contingent upon external circumstances or on how others treat you, you will never, ever achieve stable, consistent, or lasting healthy self esteem or happiness
– and along the way, if you keep making your self worth contingent on how others treat you or their opinions of you, you will tend to attract selfish people, abusers, and very emotionally needy people who will want all your time and attention, leaving you drained
– I’ve learned the hard way that many of the people who will want to use you as a sounding board, a “rock” they lean on, will not return that courtesy to you – they won’t allow you to talk to them about your problems)

• She says you should know who you are before you marry – I think this is also a good idea prior to dating.

If you know who you are prior to dating or marriage (you know your identity and your likes, your dislikes, and your values), you won’t change to please someone else (a lot of abusive or controlling people will either badger you, pressure you, threaten, or demand that you make changes to yourself or your life to please them), and it makes it easier to weed out incompatible or potentially abusive partners.

• She discourages you from trying to clean up, fix, rescue another person, what she refers to as “rebuilding” another person.

I agree with her on that – you ultimately cannot change another person, and you will only exhaust yourself trying. I think a lot of women who do this are people pleasers or codependents, and it’s a huge waste of time.

American Public School Teachers Seeking Validation For Their Sexuality From Students, Propagandizing LGBT Sexuality – Students Don’t Need To Know Your Sexuality or About Your Romantic Life, or if You Have One

American Public School Teachers Seeking Validation For Their Sexuality From Students, Propagandizing LGBT Sexuality – Students Don’t Need To Know Your Sexuality or About Your Romantic Life, or if You Have One

A lot of progressive American school teachers (and I guess some European ones, if British reporting is accurate) feel this intense need to brainwash their young students (and I’m talking including pre-junior high age children) into agreeing with, accepting, and celebrating LGBT sexuality or causes.

Adults should not be relying on children for validation, for whatever reason.
(Actually, it’s not entirely healthy for adults to continually rely on other adults for validation, but that’s another topic for another day.)

There is a non-stop list daily to weekly of these progressive school teacher freaks being reported in my social media who are cramming their progressive LGBT garbage down the throats of their students. This needs to stop.

These teachers need to realize their job is to teach the fundamentals to children, such as reading and writing, not telling them about their LGBT lifestyles, or discussing their dating or sex lives, or their sexuality preferences.

There was a video of a teacher posted to social media the other day about a LGBT teacher who said her kindergarten (or was it first grade? They were quite young) students who cheered for her when she announced to them that she is LGBT, and she said their acceptance made her happy, and she seemed to tear up in this video as she recounted this.

This is wackadoodle, disgusting, and unhealthy for several reasons. One of which is, you’re a freaking adult trying to get affirmation from CHILDREN.

Do not look to children to receive affirmation for yourself, your lifestyle, or your choices in life.

Secondly, she is their teacher. It’s not her place to use other people’s children to look for affirmation (or her own, if she has any – that would be what is called “parentifying” the child).

That LGBT teacher (or whatever other type of teacher) is there to teach the students the alphabet, or how to count to ten, and not to have them applaud being a lesbian or pan-sexual, or whatever the hell she identifies as.

There was a video recently where a male grade school (or kindergarten?) teacher was lamenting that under Florida’s new parental rights bill that he may no longer be allowed to tell his students about the kayaking trips he takes with his male partner in the summers, and he seemed upset by this.

FFS, dude, your students don’t need to know about your home life, your dating life, your marriage – you are there to teach them mathematics or reading. (They don’t even to know that one of your hobbies in your personal life is kayaking.)

Also, from my understanding of the Florida parental rights bill, I’m going to guess that it wouldn’t take issue with a gay teacher mentioning off hand to his class that he went kayaking with his male partner on vacation,
but again, this begs the question, as why would you find it necessary, whether homosexual or hetero, to tell your students about your vacation with your partner?

There’s no reason to mention it.

If you feel you absolutely must, you could mention you went kayaking if you feel the need to but not mention that you went with a romantic partner.

I’m a hetero, celibate adult (and I blog about celibacy on a regular basis on this blog), but if I taught a class, I would not bring those facts up. Those facts would not be pertinent to whatever class I am teaching, whether reading, mathematics, music, or art, especially for younger students.

There are so many of these examples being shared on social media, I cannot keep up with them all.

What you see below is just a small sampling.

This may be a post I come back to in the future to add more examples to. It never ends. (Or, I may do a Part Two – another new, separate blog post.)

(Link): Arizona Department of Education Invites 10-Year-Olds to Talk With Strangers Online About Their Sexual Identities 

May 24, 2022
by Alex Parker

Arizona is making sure its children understand their options.

Toward that end, the state’s Department of Education points 10-year-olds to chatrooms to discuss their sexual identities with unknown pre-teens, teens, and adults — facilitated by “trained volunteers.”

(Link): Freak of the Week: Another Woke Teacher Abandons His Subject to Talk to 5th Graders About Being Gay

BY MEGAN FOX APR 04, 2022 2:17 PM ET
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The number of teachers posting crazy crap on Tik Tok about what they do during class time when they should be teaching students is so numerous that a weekly segment might be necessary to keep up. This newest member of the “I have to tell little children I’m gay or I’ll cease to exist” club is “Mr. E.”

I spent way more time than I wanted to on Mr. E’s channel on Tik Tok trying to identify the school in which he works. Unfortunately, the name of the school was not visible in any of the hundreds of videos he’s made inside his alleged classroom.

Mr. E says he teaches fifth grade. Libs of Tik Tok found a video of Mr. E claiming to have “come out” to his students about being gay. It appears that he has deleted this video from his Tik Tok.

“I ended up telling my students that I was gay,” he said. “How it came up is one of the students [said] ‘My mom thinks you’re gay because of your voice.”

This would have been the perfect moment for Mr. E to tell that student, “Gossiping about teachers at home is unkind and that’s none of your or your mom’s business.”

Progressive Are Now Marketing Their Own Version of Christian Purity Culture as “Radical Monogamy”

Progressive Are Now Marketing Their Own Version of Christian Purity Culture as “Radical Monogamy”

Oh, FFS. Secular and religious conservatives have been promoting the concept of “Radical Monogamy” (or close to it) forever now… but now, some liberals or progressives are starting to dig it.

I mean, progressives have gone so insane with their far left, wacko ideas about sex and sexuality that these days, being monogamous is seen as this new, exotic idea!

When will they start defending celibacy or remaining a virgin until marriage in large numbers? The only times I’ve seen any one on the left defending being celibate was a few years ago, when a lot of conservatives went into worry and pearl clutching mode that so many people were NOT having sex!! (Seriously, I did several blog posts at this at the time).

When all the liberals saw that conservatives were having a fit that people weren’t having as much sex, the liberals started writing a few essays here and there defending sexual abstinence!

Usually the only time I see 99% of liberals or progressives approve of, defend, or promote virginity or celibacy is when they see conservatives throwing tantrums that people are NOT having sex.

(Link):  “Radical monogamy” is just like the old monogamy only with another word in front of it.

March 24, 2022

Step aside old-timers, with your stultifying “monogamy,” where you are only physically intimate with one partner at a time as a sign of devotion and commitment. Make room for “radical monogamy,” where you are only intimate with one partner at a time as a sign of devotion and commitment.

Don’t think about it too much. They sure didn’t.

…The author provides several similar examples, all of which involving totally not adopting cis het norms and being inquisitive and cool and purposeful and… coming out in the same place.

Basically, radical monogamy is like monogamy only with a lot more narcissism.

But, can it really catch on?

 (Link):  What Is Radical Monogamy?

by Nick Levine

There’s a new type of relationship style in town.

There’s a pretty high chance you haven’t yet heard of “radical monogamy”. Before writing this piece, I asked around to see if anyone knew of the term. The most common response was: WTF is that?

Though it has been written about before, most notably by Gabrielle Kassel for Well+Good a couple of years back and more recently by Chal Ravens for Novara (she doesn’t actually use the expression “radical monogamy”), the concept hasn’t yet permeated the mainstream outside of Twitter arguments.

This could partly be because it sounds like the kind of thing some guy with a sun tattoo might painstakingly explain at an afters.

Monogamy is the building block of traditional cis het relationships, after all – unless you’re in a queer relationship in an anti-queer country for example, what the hell’s so radical about monogamy?

But, look – it’s a thing now.

American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop

American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop 

(Link): American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop 

Priorities for couples on Valentine’s Day have also shifted, while some people who are single say the holiday brings too much pressure

By Maria Pasquini
February 14, 2022

Although American adults are having less sex and exchanging less rings than they once did, romance isn’t dead — and neither is relationship satisfaction.

In 2021 findings reported by (Link): CNN, nearly 26% of adults said they (Link): didn’t have sex once over the past 12 months, according to the General Social Survey.

The results were up from 23.3% in 2018 and 22.5% in 2016, which were the last two times the recurring survey had been completed.

In contrast, when the survey was conducted 20 years earlier, only 18.7% of adults reported not having any sex.

The Washington Post previously reported that the change has been most pronounced in younger adults. Between 2008 and 2018, the percentage of Americans between the ages of 18 to 29 not having sex doubled. (Meanwhile, numbers for adults over the age of 50 have (Link): stayed largely consistent since 1989.)

As a possible explanation behind the data, Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University, told the newspaper at the time that “there are more people in their twenties who don’t have a live-in partner…so under those circumstances I think less sex is going to happen.”

In their most recent survey, GSS also reported that the number of adults with a live-in partner has continued to decrease.

Although 70% of respondents said they were living in the same house as their spouse in 1989, only 48% of American adults reported being in the same situation in 2021.

The number of adults who said they did not have a steady partner has also increased in that time period, reaching 30% last year.

However, the good news is that the majority of adults who are in relationships report feeling romantically satisfied with their partner.

….However, whether you’re single or in a relationship, recent surveys all show that people are less into celebrating Valentine’s Day the traditional way.  

Sick of the Chronic Complainer? Here’s How to Fix Their Behavior by Sophie Deutsch

Sick of the Chronic Complainer? Here’s How to Fix Their Behavior By Sophie Deutsch

Notice what the article excerpts below say about emotions being contagious.

If you’re around someone who is more or less negative on a regular basis, regardless of the reasons why they are negative, that can rub off on you and harm you or negatively impact you.

Someone else’s negativity being able to rub off on you can be even worse if you suffer from depression, or, like me, you’re largely over clinical depression but can still, at times, be susceptible to falling into depressive funks that last hours, if you’re around one of these chronically unhappy, sour people (who may have clinical depression themselves, or they may just have a pessimistic personality type).

If you don’t want to end up in a bad mood yourself, if you don’t want your old depressive disorder (or anxiety) triggered, please start avoiding or limiting your time around these negative types of people.

I myself WASTED too many years of my life thinking (thanks to the type of parenting I got growing up, and the Christian faith I was raised in) that it was my duty and job to fix these hurting, negative people who were always yammering my ear off about their physical health problems, financial problems, job or martial problems, or whatever problems.

Consequently, all that listening to their complaining, me absorbing their negativity and, in some cases, me also trying to take on and fix their problems for them, could make my depression worse (when I had severe depression), or just ruin my day and leave me feeling worn out and bummed out the rest of the day.

I’ve also noticed that many of these articles that talk about emotional vampires, chronic complainers, unhappy people, clinically depressed persons (especially the ones with victim syndrome), and other types of negative and/or wounded adults…
Also mention that relief and healing for these people can only become possible whenever these people start taking responsibility for themselves, when they start making changes or modifications in their actions, life styles and/or their thinking processes (attitude). The article below is no exception.

(Link): Sick of the chronic complainer? Here’s how to fix their behaviour
By Sophie Deutsch

Excerpts:

What’s with all the whining?

Complaining is an expression of internal discomfort.

“It’s the externalisation of a feeling,” says psychologist Dr Amy Silver, who runs workshops with organisations on managing emotions for high performance. “It’s pushing something away that is internal and then voicing it in such a way to make it somebody else’s problem.

It’s typically employed as a psychological strategy to avoid confronting difficult feelings and experiences.

“By externalising or pushing the attention somewhere else it means the chronic complainer doesn’t need to recognise that they don’t feel positive, or that they don’t have the skills or energy to fix the problem themselves, or that they don’t feel they have the control over their own life to make choices.

Being stuck in a chronic state of complaining is also highly stressful, which can have a damaging impact on the brain.

What is a chronic complainer doing to our brains?

Unrelenting whining doesn’t just affect the complainer; it’s also drawing others into an orbit of pessimism.

Finding A Balance: Alone Time More Important For Relationships Than Dates, Survey Says

Finding A Balance: Alone Time More Important For Relationships Than Dates, Survey Says

(Link): ‘Me-time’ is more important for a healthy relationship than date nights

(Link): Finding A Balance: Alone Time More Important For Relationships Than Dates, Survey Says

Excerpt:

NEW YORK — How important is some “me-time” to you when it comes to romance? A recent survey of 2,000 Americans finds that a substantial 85% believe that being allowed ample time to themselves is key for a healthy relationship — even more so than going on dates!

 In fact, 41% said they would actuallybreak up with their romantic partner if they didn’t leave them alone from time to time.

High Schoolers Who Don’t Date Are Less Depressed Than Their Counterparts Who Do (2019) Study Says

High Schoolers Who Don’t Date Are Less Depressed Than Their Counterparts Who Do (2019) Study Says

(Link): High Schoolers Who Don’t Date Are Less Depressed Than Their Counterparts Who Do Study Says

Kirsi Goldynia, CNN
Updated 2:45 PM ET, Wed September 11, 2019

(CNN)Dating is a normal part of adolescence — and a formative one at that. Decades of research have suggested a link between romantic relationships and identity development as teenagers mature into young adults.

But a recent study published in the Journal of School Health reveals that adolescents who choose not to date fare as well as, or better than, their coupled counterparts in social and leadership skills.

They’re also less depressed.

How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days

How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days

(Link): How one man has broken up 4,000 relationships and caused 17 divorces – in just 10 days

And the number is still rising…

by Nicola Oakley

Sitting down to watch Netflix on a Saturday night is something many people do with their other half.

If so, you might want to steer clear of Daniel Sloss’ show – as it might lead to bit of an awkward moment or, worse still, the demise of your relationship.

The Scottish comedian says a 20-minute joke in one of his shows has been responsible for more than 4,000 break-ups.

His live stand-up routines have been streaming on Netflix since September 11 – yes, it only became available to view 10 days ago.

In his show Jigsaw, the 28-year-old, from Fife, rubbishes the notion that everyone has a soulmate, saying the message society puts out is: “If you are not with someone, you are broken. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. If you are not with someone, you are not whole.”

As a result, we are made to feel as though we need a partner to feel complete – meaning many settle and end up with the wrong person.

Men Are More Satisfied By ‘Bromances’ Than Their Romantic Relationships, Study Says

(Link):  Men Are More Satisfied By ‘Bromances’ Than Their Romantic Relationships, Study Says

Excerpts:

Young men get more emotional satisfaction out of “bromances”—close, heterosexual friendships with other males—than they do out of romantic relationships with women, according to a small new study published in Men and Masculinities.

Intimate male friendships have become more socially acceptable in recent years, say the study authors, and that’s largely a good thing. But they caution that the shift could lead to weaker bonds among dating or married couples, or even reduce the likelihood of men and women pairing up at all.