Here’s What Two Women Over 50 Who Never Married Wish They Could Have Told Their Younger Selves by M. Taylor

Here’s What Two Women Over 50 Who Never Married Wish They Could Have Told Their Younger Selves by M. Taylor

(Link): Here’s What Two Women Over 50 Who Never Married Wish They Could Have Told Their Younger Selves

Excerpts:

Plus, all the ways their decision to stay single and childless has affected their lives, for better and worse.

by M. Taylor
September 2017

….Now over 50, both women [Mindy Solkin, Lisa Bahar] have enough hindsight to reflect on how the decision to stay single and childless has affected their lives—mostly for better, but sometimes also for worse. Here, the most important lessons they’ve learned—and what they wish their younger selves knew.

Some people will make snap judgments about you. 

Just because you’re comfortable with your singleness doesn’t mean that everyone else will be. “In general, people need to figure you out and put some kind of label on you,” Bahar says. “That, in my experience, has been the biggest challenge; feeling like people are thinking, ‘What’s wrong with you?’”

You might never come up with a good answer for why you’re “still single.”

Being an unmarried, childless woman doesn’t exactly make you a unicorn. But as you get older, it’s uncommon enough that most people will feel the need to ask questions.

Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England – All Other Churches, Christians, and Denominations Need To Take Direction from This Church on This Issue

Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England

While I’m thrilled to see a church acknowledge single adults and correct the marriage-, parenthood-, and nuclear family- idolizing as committed by Baptists and other churches and denominations, unfortunately, the Church of England jumped on to the progressive ideology bandwagon by proclaiming they cannot, or will not, define “woman.”

Shame on the Church of England for enabling the sexist “transgender” movement, but they do at least correct the single-shaming views, attitudes, practices, and doctrines of so many other churches or denominations.

More Christians, more para-church groups, Southern Baptists, and other churches and denominations really do need to course-correct from the singles-shaming or singles-marginalizing they engage in, and they need to repent of worshipping Marriage, Natalism, The Nuclear Family, and Parenthood.

(Link):  Church of England Says To Celebrate Single People, Since Jesus Was Single, Too

The report is indicative of an attitude shift within the church, which has traditionally encouraged its followers to get married and have children.

(Link): Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, new report commissioned by two Archbishops urges

April 26, 2023

Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, a major report has urged.

The study commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York points out that Jesus himself never married, and warns that single people may feel unwelcome if churches overuse the word family.

It also admits that being in a committed couple is no guarantee of being ‘happy ever after’ – and that even Adam and Eve had strains in their relationship.

…And it warns that ‘hook-up culture’ is now presented as normal to young girls but adds: ‘Loveless sex is not empowering.’

…The report says it is a ‘point of concern’ that the Government has increased the marriage age to 18 while leaving the age of consent at 16, saying: ‘It legally implies that sex before marriage is acceptable in a way that it was not legally until now.’

…Others who were divorced felt ‘unwelcome in their church and judged for their ‘failure’, with some leaving as a result.

‘Others commented that the declining numbers attending a church is symbolic of an institution which fails to understand and acknowledge the diversity of family life today,’ the report warns.

‘We heard that the Church of England often conveys an expectation of marriage which is not present in society, and that there is too much focus on marriage and family in the church community, especially as increasing numbers of people are choosing to remain single.’

…And it recommends that the Church: ‘Honour and celebrate singleness, whether through choice or circumstance, and recognise the full place of single people within the Church and society.’

It points out: ‘We are reminded that Jesus never married and remained single throughout his life. This was unusual as it was expected at that time that everyone would marry.’ 

(Link): A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

APRIL 26, 2023 / CBS NEWS

…A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

The 238-page report, titled “Love Matters,” was the third in a trilogy of major reports commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York. The first addressed housing and the second examined care and support.

The latest report, on families and households, reflected the church’s changing stance on singlehood and single-person households.

The church’s report acknowledged that a growing number of people elect to be single as a result of divorce, separation, the death of a partner, not having found a suitable partner, or as a deliberate lifestyle choice. It said that loving relationships matter to single people just as much as they do to those who are married with families.

This is Why You’re Single – The Top Dating App Dealbreakers Revealed, by M. Notkin

This is Why You’re Single – The Top Dating App Dealbreakers Revealed, by M. Notkin

(Link): This is why you’re single — the top dating app dealbreakers revealed

by Melanie Notkin
May 5, 2023

…A sizable number of single females have had their fill of tofu nibblers. A new study on dating app dealbreakers reports that 1 in 5 women will summarily reject a man who indicates he’s a vegan on his dating profile.

The study was conducted by Alexander, also known as @Datepsych on Twitter, a behavioral and cognitive neuroscience graduate student with a passion for information gathering. He keeps his last name private, he told The Post, due to his sometimes controversial research into topics like incel culture, promiscuity and facial attractiveness.

For this study, Alexander collected 130 different dealbreakers from his 18,500 Twitter followers, coding them into a survey for a social media “convenience sample” — meaning easily accessible dating app users on Twitter — of 438 men and women, with a mean age of 32.

He then asked participants to imagine a dating profile with a photo they found physically attractive enough to consider accepting. (Or, in app speak, swiping right.)

Next, the respondents scored each dealbreaker from one to five, with one being something they could overlook, and five being an absolute no-no that would lead to an immediate rejection, or a swipe-left, no matter how attractive the profile photo. Alexander then shared the absolute 5/5 guaranteed dealbreakers in his report.

The dealbreakers with the highest percent of fives were not shockers. For example, the overwhelming majority of women say they reject male profiles that exhibit violence, or sexual and bigoted content.

Men, on the other hand, were highly unlikely to want a date with a woman who uses her dating profile to promote her OnlyFans.

But that’s where the survey responses stopped being predictable. Turns out, when it comes to dating apps, the dealbreakers are not always the ones you’d expect.

We Married as Man and Wife – Now We’re Renewing Our Vows as Two Women After I Transitioned and I Can’t Wait To Wear A Dress by C. Toureille

We Married as Man and Wife – Now We’re Renewing Our Vows as Two Women After I Transitioned and I Can’t Wait To Wear A Dress by C. Toureille

What I say here I may copy and paste into a new, separate post at a later date, because the observations I raise below bears repeating.

I’m a conservative who is not against marriage or the nuclear family, but I do disagree with how obsessed other conservatives are with promoting marriage and the nuclear family and criticizing or shaming any adult who hasn’t married and had children.

Growing up, I was hearing from conservative Christians regularly about how marriage supposedly makes a person more mature, responsible, or godly, and even today, conservative think tanks publish such bogus rhetoric.

Conservatives like Matt Walsh ridicule women for “pushing 50” (his terminology) and still being childless and single.

Speaking of Walsh – he recently criticized a man for going trans, the sidekick to a You Tube star named “Mr. Beast.” Walsh criticized the man for “transitioning,” because, Walsh said, the man’s wife would now be without a husband, and their son would be without a “masculine father.”

Okay, well, here’s my problem with Walsh and marriage-pushers like him (first let me give some background):

I’m in my 50s, and I never did get married. I tried to get married. I went to church singles classes, I prayed and asked God to provide me with a spouse, I tried dating sites in my mid 30s, etc, etc.
None of that worked, as I remain single by circumstance. (Christian dating advice on how to get married is dumb and incompetent, and many Christians will criticize you for pointing that fact of life out;
it makes Christians angry when they are confronted with the fact that their stupid dating advice, specifically of the “how to get married” variety, does not work. They prefer to victim-blame you or scream at you when you point out that Christian “how to get married” advice didn’t work and in some cases even played a role in holding you back from getting married.)

How can the Matt Walsh conservatives (the guys who hyper- market marriage) keep doing so, when so many marriages either end in adultery, divorce, verbal abuse, physical abuse, or in the creation of “Trans Widows?”

Trans widows are women who marry men, and the men later become crossdressers (who claim to be trans).

What is the frikkin’ point of getting married if the man you marry ends up “transitioning” into a fake woman (or he ends up neglecting your emotional needs, or he’s abusive)?

It’s better off for a woman to remain single than to marry some man who first more or less acts and dresses like a normal man, but then, after so many years of marriage says, “Honey, I feel like a woman trapped in a man’s body,” so he either starts perversely wearing women’s clothing and/or gets his penis chopped off?

A normal woman who wants a normal marriage is not going to want that. Some such women may not have a choice but to stay married to the guy if they’re financially dependent on him.

I have more comments to make below this:

(Link): We married as man and wife – now we’re renewing our vows as two women after I transitioned and I can’t wait to wear a dress

A married couple who wed as man and wife plan to renew their vows as two women – with the bride insisting ‘it’s the person I fell in love with – not the body.’

Jae Harvey, 32, met her partner Rayna, 35, on Myspace in 2009 but after two years in a long-distance relationship the couple broke up.

The couple rekindled their romance and got married – as man and woman – in Jae’s hometown – Dallas, Texas, in March 2018 before returning to the UK, where Rayna is from, later that year.

However, Rayna was struggling with her identity and confided in Jae on their honeymoon – who vowed to stick by her and helped her through her transition.

Five years on, the couple who are based in Somerset, plan to renew their vows with Rayna now living as her authentic self, and are trying to get a  gender recognition certification from the British government for her.

Horrible Dating Experiences Leave 44% of Single Adults Doubting They’ll Ever Meet ‘The One’

Horrible Dating Experiences Leave 44% of Single Adults Doubting They’ll Ever Meet ‘The One’

(Link): Horrible dating experiences leave 44% of single adults doubting they’ll ever meet ‘the one’

March 31, 2023
by Study Finds

LONDON — More than half of single adults feel empowered to call out bad dating behavior, as they find it frustrating and exhausting. A poll of 4,000 British singletons, who are actively dating, reveals that 28 percent are tired of negative experiences when looking for love, while 33 percent get easily irritated.

Being ghosted without explanation (43%), getting stood up on a date (40%) and receiving unsolicited nude pictures (40%) are some of the main irks of those polled.

This has led to 44 percent doubting they will ever meet that someone special, while 35 percent say their confidence is negatively impacted.

…And 26 percent will be un-matching or unfollowing any potential love interests if they don’t fit the bill.

Conservatives With Blinders On: Upset Over Racism Against Whites, but Not Sexism; Criticizing the Woke for Ignoring Whites but Not Caring When Churches Ignore Singles and the Childless

Conservatives With Blinders On: Upset Over Racism Against Whites, but Not Sexism; Criticizing the Woke for Ignoring Whites but Not Caring When Churches Ignore Singles and the Childless

I’m a conservative, but I don’t see eye to eye with other conservatives on every subject.

I generally agree with conservative site “Not the Bee’s” takes on many, but not all issues, and I find a lot of material by their sister site, which is a parody site, “The Bee” to be amusing.

Conservative Matt Walsh is correct about the transgender issue but not much else.

I notice these conservatives are sometimes hypocritical or blind to their own double standards or insensitivities. Here are a few of them I’ve picked up on lately.

The same Babylon Bee (and its associated, non-parody site, Not The Bee) sometimes take pot shots at, or mock, transwomen.

These conservative sites don’t agree with biological men who identify as women being allowed on to women’s sports teams and so forth, which I agree with them on.

However, oddly, the rest of the time, these two “Bee” sites (and other similar conservatives) like to make sexist jokes about women or treat Women’s History Month like a joke, as does Matt Walsh.

These conservative groups will condemn sexism in very narrow situations, when it’s carried out by progressives, but then they spend the remainder of their time either making sexist jokes about women too, or spreading and defending sexist gender stereotypes – which is what the far left does.

Sandwiches, Racism, and Sexism

Take this Not the Bee tweet and article for example (their tweet for this was time stamped 3:25 PM · Mar 21, 2023):

(Link): Here’s a hilarious thread of 28 everyday things that have now been labeled racist– Not The Bee site, article by Jesse James, March 21, 2023

Here's a hilarious thread of 28 everyday things that have now been labeled racist https://t.co/TEXdfJU9fY

— Not the Bee (@Not_the_Bee) March 21, 2023

On that list is included Peanut Butter and Jelly sandwiches.

(Snopes will dispute that such a claim was ever made by the woke, but I read the article in which the claim first appeared, and yes, the woke were implying that PB&J sandwiches are racist. It wasn’t stated as bluntly as the dumb dumbs at Snopes would prefer, but it was in there.)

Like the Not the Bee site, I too find it laughable to classify PB&J sandwiches racist. I do think the woke go over-board with insisting we all see “white supremacy” and racism in every facet of life.

That is not where I disagree.

It’s that the writers of the non-parody site take objection to that conflation of racism and sandwiches, but their parody site, earlier that same day, made a joke  at the expense of women, using a sexist trope uttered by sexist men at women: “Make me a sammich,” or “women are only good for making sandwiches.”

Hmm, you don’t like that the woke declared PB&J sandwiches racist,
but in another recent tweet via your sister account, The Bee,
made a sexist joke in poor taste about women making sandwiches & tied that to Women’s History Month.
🤔#sexism #racism https://t.co/HdgOmlrhju

— Solo (@sololoner2) March 21, 2023

(Link): 10 Iconic Milestones In Women’s History – via The Babylon Bee

(The content of that page is very patronizing, consisting of a list of photos of sandwiches, in one, a woman’s hand can be seen spreading mayo on bread, with comments below each photo saying things like, “Behold the accomplishments of women, is there anything women can’t do.”)

I’m supposed to find that funny… and I do have a sense of humor… but no, I don’t find that funny.

10 Iconic Milestones In Women's History https://t.co/lQEhLzZCe3

— The Babylon Bee (@TheBabylonBee) March 21, 2023

Their tweet for the above was time stamped 2:51 PM · Mar 21, 2023 – that’s just about 34 minutes the same day before they sent a tweet to an article on their non-parody site expressing incredulity over progressives deeming PB&J sandwiches racist.

I’m fairly sure that the non-parody Bee site ridiculed Hershey’s chocolate company for using a man as their spokeswoman for their “HERshe’s” candy bars to promote Women’s History Month. Which again says The Bee writers are fine with conservatives insulting women but not progressives.

America’s Best City for Singles – With the Most Unattached Women Per Capita and 55.4% of Residents Unmarried

America’s Best City for Singles – With the Most Unattached Women Per Capita and 55.4% of Residents Unmarried

(Link): This is America’s best city for singles: ‘A lot of hot women here’

March 3, 2023
By Alex Mitchell

…New research from the Thriving Center of Psychology has found that Buffalo is one of the best cities in America to be single.

The western New York metropolis has the third most single people per capita compared to other major cities, according to the survey, which relied on US census data. But it also boasts the most single women per capita of any city, and the ninth most single men.

Buffalo bachelors, especially, are cheering the favorable conditions.

…The city’s affordability is a key reason it’s good for bachelors and bachelorettes. The cost of living is 39% below New York state’s average and 5% below the nation’s as a whole, according to RentCafe, an apartment search website.

Thanks to the favorable economics, residents don’t have to couple up.

(Link): America’s best city for singles – with the most unattached women per capita and 55.4% of residents unmarried: ‘You don’t have to put in much effort’

Excerpts:

By Will Potter
March 4, 2023

America’s best city for singles has been revealed – with Buffalo, New York beating out the nation’s top metropolises to grab the number one spot.

The bachelor paradise won a glistening review in new research from the Thriving Center of Psychology, which found it boasts the most single women per capita in the country.

It also has the ninth most single men and the third most single people in general per capita, according to the data, which also found three quarters of singles struggle to find a match without using a dating app.

20th Century Irish Roman Catholics Actually Shamed Single Women For Being Single – Gross

20th Century Irish Roman Catholics Actually Shamed Single Women For Being Single – Gross

This reminds me of how present-day Protestant and Baptist conservative Christians, and secular American conservatives, still shame women for being single and/or for being childless.

It’s disgusting that people do this. It’s not your place to question a woman’s marital or childed status. A woman isn’t less a woman because she is single or childless  (whether by choice or by circumstance).

(Link): Chalk Sunday: Women marked with an X for being single 

Feb. 26, 2023

By Nuala McCann
BBC News NI

Today – the first Sunday in Lent – was once known as Chalk Sunday in Ireland.

“It was a custom dating back to the 1900s,” said Fiona Byrne, curator of History at the Ulster Folk Museum.

“Young boys would have drawn Xs on the backs of single women’s coats and dresses as they walked to and from Mass. They might have dusted them with chalk or touched them on the shoulder.

“It meant you didn’t manage to get married and was a bit mean really.

Lent is an old English word meaning ‘lengthen’. Lent is observed in spring, when the days begin to get longer. It allows Christians to remember Jesus’s fasting in the desert. It is a time of giving things up and a test of self-discipline.

No sex

The old Irish tradition of Chalk Sunday ties in with the feast of Shrove or Pancake Tuesday -the last day before Lent began – when people celebrated and had weddings, in preparation for the period stretching over six weeks of fasting, penitence and denial.

Meat, eggs, dairy, alcohol and even sex were off limits for strict Catholics in Ireland over Lent. Music and merrymaking was not enjoyed. There was a tradition of musical instruments being put away for the six weeks of Lent.

“Shrove Tuesday was traditionally the last day to get married before Lent,” said Ms Byrne. “There would have been a big rush for priests running up to Shrove Tuesday.”

People who were single were considered to have disregarded their social duty to marry and enjoyed a lesser social status.

It followed that Chalk Sunday was a focus on the single.

“Women’s role at that time was about getting married, having children and keeping a house,” said Ms Byrne.

“Women did so much more than that … but as for marriage, for some women it just may not have worked out. The word ‘spinster’ is a horrible term.”

Singles Will Ditch a Bad Date in a Surprisingly Short Time, Study Says

Singles Will Ditch a Bad Date in a Surprisingly Short Time, Study Says

(Link): Singles will ditch a bad date in a surprisingly short time, study says

By Adriana Diaz
Feb 2, 2023

The countdown to having your best friend call you faking an emergency starts now.

Singles will ditch a bad date in less than an hour, a recent study from roadside assistance provider Britannia Rescue found.

The research found that daters only need 25 minutes to decide whether or not they’re enjoying themselves, but they will wait an average of 51 minutes before faking a call from an overbearing boss or a desperate friend.

A fifth of singles who know what they want — or conversely don’t want — have left halfway through a date.

But not everyone is so decisive. It turns out that 58% of love-seekers have sat through a bad date; they did so because they felt the need to be polite (72%), thought it might get better (37%) or felt too uncomfortable saying anything (36%).

For Valentine’s Day, 5 Facts About Single Americans – from Pew Research

For Valentine’s Day, 5 Facts About Single Americans – from Pew Research

(Link): For Valentine’s Day, 5 facts about single Americans

Excerpts:

By Risa Gelles-Watnick

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, single Americans have a range of hopes when it comes to their romantic lives. Some dream of serious relationships, some are looking for casual dates and some are avoiding dating altogether.

 Here are five findings about single Americans, based on a Pew Research Center survey of U.S. adults conducted July 5-17, 2022.

… 2. The majority of single adults are not interested in being struck (or even grazed) by Cupid’s arrow. Among Americans who are single, the largest share – 57% – say they are not currently looking for a relationship or casual dates.

(In a February 2022 Center survey, single adults who were not looking for a relationship or dates identified a variety of reasons as to why, but enjoying being single and having other priorities topped the list.)

Even among adults who are “single and looking,” not everyone is interested in the same type of relationship.

Six Ways Single People Can Thrive This Valentine’s Day by J. Hocking

Six Ways Single People Can Thrive This Valentine’s Day by J. Hocking

(Link): Six Ways Single People Can Thrive This Valentine’s Day

by J. Hocking
February 2023

Confession.

I have been single for the last ten Valentine’s Days. Yes you read that right: T-E-N. So I’ve become quite the pro when it comes to navigating the day known to couples as ‘best day of the year’ and to singles, the day they want to curl up in a ball and die.

Those in a loved-up relationship will know the thrill of a big bunch of roses arriving at their work desk. To be paraded around the office as everyone comments “oh you lucky thing” while quietly filling their coffee cups up with hard liquor.

Seriously, nothing reminds you that you’re single like Valentine’s Day. And while we’ve been lucky enough to avoid the gross V-day for a couple of years thanks to lockdown – this year I’m afraid it’s unavoidable.

So what do you do when you know you’re going to be surrounded by smooching couples and roses that aren’t for you. You turn lemons into lemonade my friend!

You may not believe this, but I have honestly had the best Valentine’s Day as a singleton. I distinctly remember one year my two best friends and I were all single at the same time. So we decided to tackle it together and celebrate Galentine’s Day.

You Can Flush Your Ex Down the Toilet This Valentine’s Day

You Can Flush Your Ex Down the Toilet This Valentine’s Day

 (Link): You can flush your ex down the toilet this Valentine’s Day

By Brooke Steinberg
February 2, 2023

Say goodbye to your crappy ex this Valentine’s Day.

Feb. 14 is not full of roses and love for everyone — some people are happily single and are fine with ignoring the holiday.

Others might be recently single or experiencing heartbreak, and are reminded of the raw memories thanks to the day that’s full of romantic cliches, pink and red color schemes, roses and candy hearts.

Toilet paper company Who Gives a Crap wants to help people forget their exes and find a way to enjoy Valentine’s Day.