Male Author Slams Woman Author’s Editorial Slamming Working Mothers as Being Insulting Against Women AND Men

Male Author Slams Woman Author’s Editorial Slamming Working Mothers as Being Insulting Against Women AND Men

(Link): ‘Not only are you calling women selfish, you’re calling men incapable’: Father slams columnist who said motherhood is ‘under threat’ because women are prioritising their careers

Controversial columnist Miranda Devine made headlines in early February after writing a piece about working mothers.

In her column, titled ‘Don’t let your career make you a bad mother,’ Ms Devine said ‘motherhood is under threat’ and that ‘young women are coerced into prioritising careers and becoming feminist warriors against the so-called pay gap.’

Since, the column has been slammed by a number of women and furious mothers, including radio host Em Rusciano, who have labelled the piece both ‘offensive and ignorant.’

And now, Australian father-of-two and daddy blogger, Brad Kearns, has lashed out at the piece in defence of both himself and his wife.

‘Hey Miranda Devine, as a dad, I’ve never felt pressure to justify my career decisions to complete strangers,’ he  (Link): began.

‘Nobody has ever asked me how having children was going to impact my study or work. To be honest, I barely even entertained the thought that it could hold me back professionally.

‘Do you want to know why? Because I’m a f*****g man and society just assumes it wouldn’t change anything.’

Continue reading “Male Author Slams Woman Author’s Editorial Slamming Working Mothers as Being Insulting Against Women AND Men”

WHO: Single People Who Struggle to Find A Partner To Be Considered “Infertile”

WHO: Single People Who Struggle to Find A Partner To Be Considered “Infertile”

I’m taken aback by some of the cranky comments by people who disagree with this decision. Take for example this (source):

Josephine Quintavalle, from Comment on Reproductive Ethics added: “This absurd nonsense is not simply re-defining infertility but completely side-lining the biological process and significance of natural intercourse between a man and a woman.

Well, excuse the hell out of me, Ms. Quintavalle, but some of us find ourselves single by circumstance – we had hoped to be married in our 20s or 30s but just could not find the right guy. I cannot get pregnant now because I have no husband to have sex with to get pregnant, by, HELLO.

You’re saying women like me shouldn’t be able to get help we need or want in having a kid of our own, if that is what we want (I never cared if I had one myself or not, but some women really want one). There is just no sympathy from some people for the circumstances other people find themselves in in life. I didn’t plan on turning out single well into my 40s, lady.

I don’t think that adult singleness should be thought of in a derogatory fashion as a “disability” (God knows we get enough of that condescending attitude from churches as it is), but I don’t see anything wrong with it pertaining to allowing singles who want to have  kid.

I’m also seeing one or two commentators who assume that single adults are more “selfish” than married couples, which is untrue and is (Link): the reverse!

(Link):   People Who Can’t Find Sex Partners Should Be Classified as ‘Disabled,’ Says World Health Organization

(Link):  Being Single Is Now a Disability, According to the World Health Organization

By Rhett Jones

For the WHO’s Dr. David Adamson, one of the authors of the new standards, this move is about creating medical equality. He says, “(Link): The definition of infertility is now written in such a way that it includes the rights of all individuals to have a family, and that includes single men, single women, gay men, gay women.”

Continue reading “WHO: Single People Who Struggle to Find A Partner To Be Considered “Infertile””

Schoolgirl Drugged and Raped on Her 10th Birthday Was Chopped Up and Burned in Bathtub ‘by Own Family’

Schoolgirl Drugged and Raped on Her 10th Birthday Was Chopped Up and Burned in Bathtub ‘by Own Family’ 

This post contains vulgar language by me. Because I am incensed at what happened to this little girl, and how Christians tend to teach about or react to stories such as this.

-October 2016 update much farther below-


Terrible story. I feel so bad for this little girl.

The only consoling thing I can possibly think of is that she was probably so doped up (the mother’s boyfriend injected her with drugs or something before attacking her) that she at least was maybe un-aware of what was happening to her and could not feel any physical or psychological pain (I hope).

The articles say the girl’s mother just sat there and watched passively as her boyfriend doped up, raped, and killed her biological daughter (the man’s cousin, some woman named Jessica Kelley, also assaulted and attacked the girl).

SIDE RANT. Note to my fellow Pro-Lifers in the Abortion Debate:

I have read other news stories that talk about mama cats walking in and out of burning buildings to take their baby kittens out of the raging fire, one at a time, saving them all, and putting their own lives at risk in the process.

You see, there are some ANIMALS who are BETTER PARENTS to their offspring than some HUMANS.

So please, let’s lay off the whiny nonsense about how, “Oh, geepers, the media pay more attention to Cecil the Lion being killed by the dentist than abortions in Planned Parenthood, that’s not right” type stuff.

I’ve read two or three news reports about this so far.

This first one I’m linking to on here says that the girl’s mother met her boyfriend (the guy who killed the girl,) online.  I’m not sure if that means they met on a dating site or where exactly.

Many Christians like to say that being married and/or a parent are necessary to make a person more mature, godly, or responsible or loving. News stories like this show that to be absolute bunk. Parenthood and marriage are not magical panaceas that just cause people to be more ethical and loving. Give me a break.

I have always supported the death penalty – and news items like this is a big reason why.

Continue reading “Schoolgirl Drugged and Raped on Her 10th Birthday Was Chopped Up and Burned in Bathtub ‘by Own Family’”

Single, 54, and a New Dad: Why Some Start Families Late by A. Ellin

Single, 54, and a New Dad: Why Some Start Families Late

(Link):  Single, 54, and a New Dad: Why Some Start Families Late by A. Ellin

Excerpts:

August 5, 2016

SPARKY CAMPANELLA never heard the thrumming of a biological clock. But his “sociological clock” — his sense that he was missing out on something important in life — boomed mightily. At the age of 54, he decided to do something about it. He became a father.

He was single, but so what? “I decided I could either do it myself, or wait for the right partner to come along,” said Mr. Campanella, a Los Angeles fine arts photographer whose son, Rhys, is a little over 1 year old. Over the years he had dated women who had children of their own, but he realized that he didn’t want to be a stepdad.

….It’s a question many childless people over 50 are asking themselves. Of course, dealing with night feedings and rambunctious 2-year-olds are not for the faint of heart. But with their finances in order and their careers in place, with their life spans extended, some older people are concluding: Why not start — or continue — raising children in later life?

Continue reading “Single, 54, and a New Dad: Why Some Start Families Late by A. Ellin”

Americans Are Nostalgic for a Family Life That Never Existed by S. Coontz

Americans Are Nostalgic for a Family Life That Never Existed by S. Coontz

I have blogged about this book before, back in 2013. You can read the former post (Link): here.

Here is another review of the same book:

(Link): Americans Are Nostalgic for a Family Life That Never Existed

Excerpts:

  • March 2016
  • By Stephanie Coontz
  • There is a tendency for many Americans to view present-day family and gender relations through the foggy lens of nostalgia for a mostly mythical past.
  • …One example of how discussions of family life are still distorted by myths about the past is the question of how marriage has evolved historically.
  • Both sides in the Supreme Court decision extending marriage rights to same-sex couples demonstrated confusion on this issue. In his dissent from the majority opinion, Chief Justice John Roberts wrote, “For all . . . millennia, across all . . . civilizations, ‘marriage’ referred to only one relationship: the union of a man and a woman.”
  • Its primordial purpose, Roberts asserted, was to make sure that all children would be raised “in the stable conditions of a lifelong relationship.”
  • These assertions are simply not true. The most culturally preferred form of marriage in the historical record—indeed, the type of marriage referred to most often in the first five books of the Old Testament—was actually of one man to several women.
  • Some societies also practiced polyandry, where one woman married several men, and some even sanctioned ghost marriages, where parents married off a son or daughter to the deceased child of another family with whom they wished to establish closer connections.
  • The most common purpose of marriage in history was not to ensure children had access to both their mother and father but to acquire advantageous in-laws and expand the family labor force.
  • …In Anglo-American common law, a child born out of wedlock was a filius nullius, a child of nobody, entitled to nothing. Until the early 1970s, several American states denied such children the right to inherit from their biological father even if he had publicly acknowledged them or they were living with him.

Continue reading “Americans Are Nostalgic for a Family Life That Never Existed by S. Coontz”

Francis Chan Challenges Christians: Stop Idolizing Family, Put Christ’s Mission First

Francis Chan Challenges Christians: Stop Idolizing Family, Put Christ’s Mission First

Yep. Christians idolize the family. I’ve been blogging about that for a few years now.

(Link): Francis Chan Challenges Christians: Stop Idolizing Family, Put Christ’s Mission First

Excerpts:

  • March 23, 2016|3:20 pm
    BY KEVIN PORTER , CHRISTIAN POST REPORTER
  • Many Christians have lost their edge — their radical, burning fire for Christ, says preacher and author Francis Chan, a firm believer that while family is important, the mission of the Kingdom of God should come first.In a video message recently shared by (Link): ChurchLeaders.com, Chan says that after many Christians get married they place Christ’s mission on the back burner, spending their days in the bubble of relationships, children and the comfort of security.
  • The preacher challenges married Christians to stoke the flames of their passion for Christ and his work, and to step out of their comfort zones to take more risks to further His Kingdom. Continue reading “Francis Chan Challenges Christians: Stop Idolizing Family, Put Christ’s Mission First”

‘Marriage Changes When You Don’t Just Need A Warm Body and a Paycheck’: A Talk With Rebecca Traister

‘Marriage Changes When You Don’t Just Need A Warm Body and a Paycheck’: A Talk With Rebecca Traister

(Link): ‘Marriage Changes When You Don’t Just Need A Warm Body and a Paycheck’: A Talk With Rebecca Traister  by Jia Tolentino

Excerpts:

  • After two months, my [Jia Tolentino’s] copy of Rebecca Traister’s new book is already dog-eared, wine-stained, and train-battered. All the Single Ladies is essential, careful, bold, and rigorous; it’s a warning and a celebration, and I loved it. Traister and I talked on the phone last week.
  • [Rebecca Traister said]… I always hated it when my heroines [book characters] got married.
  • … but I took in the message that Laura learned, and then taught us: that marriage was the end of fun.
  • …one of the interesting things that’s happened coterminously with the decline in marriage rate is the rise of the wedding industrial complex and the fetishization of marriage as the signal achievement of female life.
  • That’s happened even as women have been marrying less and less, and for a couple of reasons.
  • One, the economic strata of women who still most consistently marry are the wealthiest women: you have a whole industry that’s built up around selling them very expensive weddings, and this industry now crosses classes. There’s a diffuse but very strong pressure to correct women’s move away from marriage by fetishizing it.
  • This, in turn, is possible in part because marriage is no longer the thing that kicks off a woman’s adult life.
  • As sociologists put it, marriage is now a capstone event instead. It’s the thing you do when your life is in shape, when you have the right amount of money —and particularly in middle and lower-income communities, when you know you have the right partner, and in many cases, when you already have a kid. Marriage is popularly a sign that your life is in order, which contributes to this renewed positioning of marriage as aspirational.
  • [Jia Tolentino said] Right. It’s the fairytale narrative run through a late-capitalist filter. You make your money, you formalize your ambitions, and then you still get rewarded with the kiss and the ring.
  •  

    [Rebecca Traister said] Despite all this, women are still not marrying at the same rate they were. You can bombard women with messages that they should be aiming for this; that they should be doing that. But you know what? They’re still not doing it. You might be able to make them feel bad about it—but this mass behavior no longer applies.

Continue reading “‘Marriage Changes When You Don’t Just Need A Warm Body and a Paycheck’: A Talk With Rebecca Traister”

Scary Single Ladies: Rebecca Traister Explains Why Single Women Frighten The Hell Out Of The GOP

Scary Single Ladies: Rebecca Traister Explains Why Single Women Frighten The  Hell Out Of The GOP

Sometimes some of these reviews of Traister’s book, or interviews with her, bring up how so many Republicans often demonize or criticize single motherhood.

I happen to be a Republican myself, someone who was raised in a traditional Christian home.

One thing I don’t get is how so many other Republicans and Christians do in fact constantly bad-mouth single motherhood, but out of the other side of their mouths, they frequently complain that not enough women are having babies.

It ticks these types of Republicans and Christians off that baby-making rates have declined a bit in the last decade or whatever (see this link for example).

So, on the one hand, my fellow Republicans complain about women having babies (women who happen to be single), but then turn around and complain and gripe about women NOT having babies.

Christians and Republicans are somewhat inconsistent on this point. They might argue that women should marry first, and then make a baby with their spouse, but this is part of the problem: plenty of women WANT to marry, but there are no eligible males for them to marry (see this link or this link for more).

And, of course, there are married women who cannot have babies because they are infertile, or some may choose to forgo motherhood – and their choices should be respected, not condemned.

Another thing that bothers me about this conservative demonizing of single motherhood is that I suspect one view that undergirds it is that they believe that marriage or parenthood supposedly makes adults more mature, responsible or godly, which is simply (Link): not true (and see this link and this link).

(There are a lot of conservative Christians who have taught or said that people only become mature or responsible when they marry or have a kid.)

The Bible does not teach that marriage or parenthood are necessary to make a person more godly, loving, responsible, or mature.

And even every day common sense and observation bears that out: we’ve all known, or heard of, married parents who are immature, greedy, or immoral swine.

Disclaimer:

  • I am right wing and have been a Republican for years. However, I don’t always agree with Republicans on everything.
    I do occasionally agree with some of the left wing’s criticism of right wingers, and concerning how dismally right wingers treat singles, I agree with them on that.

The link I give you here is from a left wing site, by Amanda Marcotte, a liberal feminist who is (Link): sometimes hypocritical about women’s sexual issues.

Even though I completely disagree with Marcotte on some topics, I did find myself agreeing with some of the content of this interview she had with this book author:

(Link):  Scary single ladies: Rebecca Traister explains why single women frighten the hell out of the GOP by Amanda Marcotte

Excerpts:

  • Author Rebecca Traister’s new book on single women looks at how this growing population is reshaping America
  • Author Rebecca Traister’s last book, “Big Girls Don’t Cry,” took a comprehensive look at how the 2008 elections changed everything for American women.
  • Now she’s back with a similarly pop music-themed title, “All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation,” an examination of the role single women have played in American culture, both in our history and in our current times.
  • (Link): Single women are a potent political force in a way that they never have been before, making up nearly a quarter of the electorate and leaning to the left of both men and their married counterparts.
  • This, along with a whole host of inchoate fears about what happens when women are left to their own devices without male supervision, has led to a rash of conservative pundits and politicians denouncing the ladies who aren’t married. I interviewed Traister about this moral panic over single women and what it means for the culture at large.
  • [Question to the book author]: In your book, you detail how obsessed the conservative media has become with single women, who clearly anger right-wing pundits. The most hilarious quote you pull is Rush Limbaugh whining, “What is it with all these young, single, white women?” What is it with these conservative pundits focusing on single women?
  • It was just a couple of weeks (Link): after his tirade of Sandra Fluke that he made those comments about another woman who had written a book.
  • The fact that he said “white,” well, there are these versions of single womanhood that we are presented and the version that threatens most, is the white, privileged women.
  • Sandra Fluke testifying in front of Congress, women who are writing books, Murphy Brown, and Anita Hill, even though she’s not white, a lawyer appeared for Clarence Thomas.
  • There is a kind of woman who is economically powerful, professionally powerful who threatens a white male grip on power that has a long historic precedent in the country. Independent women living outside of marriage threaten all kinds of things about the way power is supposed to work.
  • What if reproduction is taken outside that version of male control? What if women are competing?

Continue reading “Scary Single Ladies: Rebecca Traister Explains Why Single Women Frighten The Hell Out Of The GOP”

Some evangelicals in Republican Party are feeling left out (via Washington Post)

Some evangelicals in Republican Party are feeling left out, see no standard-bearer

(Link): Some evangelicals in Republican Party are feeling left out, see no standard-bearer

    Many social conservatives say they feel politically isolated as the country seems to be hurtling to the left, with marijuana now legal in Colorado and gay marriage gaining ground across the nation.

    They feel out of place in a GOP increasingly dominated by tea party activists and libertarians who prefer to focus on taxes and the role of government and often disagree with social conservatives on drugs or gay rights.

    …“Values voters have been treated as the stepchildren of the family, while the party has wanted to get on with so-called more electorally popular ideas,” Bauer said. “The Republican base will not tolerate another candidate foisted upon us as a guy who can win.”

    Continue reading “Some evangelicals in Republican Party are feeling left out (via Washington Post)”

Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric ( Re Driscoll Rant known as Pussified Nation )

Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric

More anti-singlness and anti-virginity commentary from perverted, sexist douche bag and pastor Mark Driscoll has come to light. I have blogged about this creep before (see links at the conclusion of this post for more).

I am not a fan of tip toeing around people’s feelings and the extreme political correctness in today’s culture, (as I wrote of in a (Link): previous blog post here), but, I am not a supporter of this other extreme, the one Driscoll presents in the post I excerpt below.

It’s one thing to speak your mind – in a firm but respectful way, even if the majority of popular culture does not like your beliefs – but Driscoll seems to go out of his way to be unnecessarily rude, condescending, and hateful, or as obnoxious as he can be.

In the year 2000, Neo-Calvinist preacher Mark Driscoll, writing under the name “William Wallace II,” I think, wrote a bunch of inflammatory commentary on his church’s forum “Midrash.” In a book he wrote, Driscoll admitted to posting as “William Wallace II” on that forum (some sites linked to below have screen captures taken from online versions of the book that you can view).

In a series of very long posts, Driscoll ranted against women, feminists, homosexuals, men who are not manly-man enough in his view, and all this has drawn the ire and attention of many netizens after this was blogged about recently.

However, the portion of Driscoll’s post that caught my eye seems to subtly mock or ridicule adult singleness, singles ministries, and adult virginity.

Before I get to that, I wanted to mention this:

According to one source ((Link): source) in a Tweet:

    Driscoll through Wallace says women need a man to help them select a husband (p. 78). Eastern culture > Biblical example incl Ruth, then.

As I replied on Twtter in regards to that view by Driscoll:

    I’m a never married lady over 40, would still like to marry some day – Driscoll can eat my shorts

Yes, Driscoll can take his outdated, sexist views about single women and cram them up his butt.

There was also this (Willam Wallace parody account is quoting Driscoll (Link): Source):

Returning once more to the long rant by Driscoll:

(Link): Mark Driscoll’s Pussified Nation… – Matthew Paul Turner’s blog –
If Turner’s blog becomes unavailable for viewing (which it did earlier today apparently due to a stampede of traffic), you can read the Driscoll penned posts here:
(Link): Posts by Driscoll

Here are excerpts of what Driscoll wrote in 2000, under the name “William Wallace II” – with comments by me below this long excerpt (and additional links by other people about this Driscoll rant):

    We live in a completely pussified nation.

    We could get every man, real man as opposed to pussified James Dobson knock-off crying Promise Keeping homoerotic worship loving mama’s boy sensitive emasculated neutered exact male replica evangellyfish, and have a conference in a phone booth.

    It all began with Adam, the first of the pussified nation, who kept his mouth shut and watched everything fall headlong down the slippery slide of hell/feminism when he shut his the slippery slide of hell/feminism when he shut his mouth and listened to his wife who thought Satan was a good theologian when he should have lead her and exercised his delegated authority as king of the planet.

    As a result, he was cursed for listening to his wife and every man since has been his pussified sit quietly by and watch a nation of men be raised by bitter penis envying burned feministed single mothers who make sure that Johnny grows up to be a very nice woman who sits down to pee.

    Continue reading “Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric ( Re Driscoll Rant known as Pussified Nation )”

Looking For Free Sperm, Women May Turn To Online Forums

Looking For Free Sperm, Women May Turn To Online Forums

Thank Dog I never cared one way or another if I ever had a baby or not. I just never hankered for one.

I could not imagine being so desperate to have a kid that you’d go to a site to hook up with a stranger to pork each other and have a kid. No thanks, I’d rather die alone, single, childless, celibate.

(Link): Looking For Free Sperm, Women May Turn To Online Forums

    Commercial sperm banks have operated in the U.S. since the early 1970s. Today, women who can afford to use them tend do so without stigma. But banks are no longer the only source for women hoping to get pregnant.

    There are informal, unregulated websites popping up where men who are willing to donate their sperm for free can meet women who are hoping to have a baby.

    The most established sperm donation website in the U.S., the Known Donor Registry, launched in 2010. Since then, it has grown to more than 16,000 members.

    Membership to this site and others does not necessarily reflect how many people actually conceive this way — in fact, there really aren’t solid statistics on this kind of exchange. But there are anecdotes, and people have come forward saying they’ve tried it.

    Continue reading “Looking For Free Sperm, Women May Turn To Online Forums”

Bride to Be is Cheating Liar / Mom with Five Kids by Five Dads / Letter About Husband who is Immature Man Child

Bride to Be is Cheating Liar / Letter About Husband who is Immature Man Child

Stories like these make me glad I am single and celibate.

Notice that the husband in one letter below is described as being immature, which refutes the Christians myth that marriage automatically makes people mature.

Letters to Dear Abby from three different people.

    DEAR ABBY: My best friend is getting married and asked me to be her maid of honor. She has also asked me to buy an expensive dress, host a lavish shower I’m afraid I can’t afford and plan a destination bachelorette party. The cost will be exorbitant.

    On top of this, she has asked me to be her “cover” when she lies to her fiance about where she is. She has admitted to me that she has cheated on him, and I think she’s doing it again.

    I know it’s not my place to question her or tell her what to do, but this has made me hesitant to commit financially to her wedding. Should I talk to her about this? I don’t want to lose my best friend, but I also don’t want to put my money on the line for someone who isn’t being honest.
    DRAGGING MY HEELS IN NEW YORK

    DEAR ABBY:
    I don’t know where to start so I will just plunge in: I have five kids by five different men. I am not a terrible person. I have a job, take care of my babies and am working toward a degree. But sometimes I feel like the ultimate loser. I get judged all the time. I’m so ashamed of the choices I have made in life. Will it ever be better?
    – 5 KIDS, 5 DADS IN OREGON

    DEAR ABBY:
    My husband thinks we should snuggle up and sleep together even when we’re sick. I think it’s common courtesy to keep a respectable distance from loved ones and to clean up after yourself when you have a “bug” that is communicable. I need to stay as healthy as possible to keep up with the needs of our child, the housework and my job while my husband is sick. Your thoughts?
    — MARRIED TO A MAN-CHILD WHO NEEDS A MOMMY

Related posts

(Link) Entitled Controlling Bridezilla Makes Outrageous Picky Demands of Her Bridesmades

(Link): The new bride who had a horrifying allergic reaction to her husband’s sperm

Mother Suffocated Toddler Son To Death Because She “Didn’t Want Him Anymore” and apparently posted photos of his corpse on her Facebook page – so much for motherhood making women more godly, loving, and ethical!

Mother Suffocated Toddler Son To Death Because She “Didn’t Want Him Anymore” and apparently posted photos of his corpse on her Facebook page – so much for motherhood making women more godly, loving, and ethical!

I sometimes post links to news articles on this blog of parents, preachers, or married people who do immoral or illegal activities. There have been so many of these stories showing up in my Twitter feed the past two weeks, I can hardly keep up.

I will not be blogging on all of them. For about every news story I blog about of a parent who murders her child, or a married man who gets caught stabbing his wife to death or whatever, there are about 2 to 4 I do NOT get around to publishing on my blog – Bear that in mind anytime you visit my blog and see these types of stories.

So. Christians, particularly Southern Baptist, evangelicals, Reformed, and other flavors of Christians, like to spout off how parenthood and marriage make people more ethical, godly, and mature and immune from sexual sin, while, at the same time, they teach the insulting views that anyone who is still single and/or childless past age 30, is selfish or a loser or a closeted homosexual.

Here is yet another example of how parenthood does not make a person more godly, ethical, responsible, or mature:

(Link): Mom suffocated her toddler son because she ‘didn’t want him any more’ – then posted pictures of his body on FACEBOOK

    By TED THORNHILL

PUBLISHED: 12:07 EST, 9 July 2014 | UPDATED: 02:45 EST, 10 July 2014

  • Nicole ‘Nikki’ Kelly, from New York, is accused of murdering her toddler son
  • Police say that she suffocated the 11-month-old using bed sheets
    Disturbingly, she appears to have posted a picture of his body on Facebook
  • A mother who allegedly suffocated her 11-month-old boy told police ‘I reached my breaking point, I didn’t want him anymore’.
  • Afterwards, she then appears to have posted a macabre photograph of her boy’s corpse on her Facebook page, with the message ‘R.I.P Tinkabutt’.
  • Continue reading “Mother Suffocated Toddler Son To Death Because She “Didn’t Want Him Anymore” and apparently posted photos of his corpse on her Facebook page – so much for motherhood making women more godly, loving, and ethical!”

    14 Young People Explain Why They’re Waiting for Marriage: ‘I Want to Have Sex But I’m Determined to Stay a Virgin Until Marriage’

    14 Young People Explain Why They’re Waiting for Marriage: ‘I Want to Have Sex But I’m Determined to Stay a Virgin Until Marriage’

    I am a wee bit concerned with the one teenager who wrote on his (or her) placard that he thinks waiting for marriage to have sex “will be worth it.” If he means to say that honeymoon sex will be great, he needs to think again…

    I have too many links on this blog to stories by people who were virgins at marriage but the sex turned out to be terrible (see (Link): this story for example).

    I am not saying it is wrong for a person to choose to stay virginal until marriage, only you need to realize that doing so is not a guarantee that the sex will be amazing.

    (Link): 14 Young People Explain Why They’re Waiting for Marriage: ‘I Want to Have Sex But I’m Determined to Stay a Virgin Until Marriage’

      by O. Darcy

      Why are you waiting for marriage?

      Individuals who choose to refrain from having sex before marriage are often confronted with this particular question — and some are now speaking out. Using the popular smartphone application Whisper, many young people have turned to the social network to explain to others why they are choosing to wait.

      Whisper guarantees its users absolute privacy and, as a result, some of the confessions are raw and powerful.

    A few of the images from whisper (click here to view the rest):

    Whisper confession
    Whisper confession
    Whisper confession
    Whisper confession

    Whisper confession
    Whisper confession

    ————————————
    Related posts this blog:

    (Link): On ‘Late’-In-Life Virginity Loss (from The Atlantic)

    (Link): An Open Letter to Male Virgins by Anna Broadway

    (Link): Virgins and Celibates are Sexual – Not Asexual and Androgynous – You don’t have to have sex to possess sexuality

    (Link): Virginity Lost, Experience Gained (article with information from study about virginity)

    (Link): Living Myths About Virginity – article from The Atlantic

    (Link): Long Editorial about Virginity at CT – Don’t Blame Evangelicals for the Cult of the Virgin – I Notice It’s the Fornicators Who Want to Ignore or Downplay the Bible’s Teaching that People Are To Stay Virgins Until Marriage

    (Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

    (Link): More Snarky Virgin – and Celibate – Shaming, Courtesy the “The anti-purity movement” Facebook Group – the blog page “My Secondary Virginity” – and a Proud Slut Parody

    (Link): Celibate Shaming from an Anti- Slut Shaming Secular Feminist Site (Hypocrisy) Feminists Do Not Support All Choices

    (Link): Inconsistency on Feminist Site – Choices Have Consequences

    (Link): Anti Virginity Editorial by Christian Blogger Tim Challies – Do Hurt / Shame Feelings or Sexual Abuse Mean Christians Should Cease Supporting Virginity or Teaching About Sexual Purity

    (Link): Weak Argument Against Celibacy / Virginity / Sexual Purity by the Anti Sexual Purity Gestapo – Sexual Compatibility or Incompatibility – (ie, Taking Human Beings For Test Spins – Humans As Sexual Commodities) (Part 2)

    (Link): Slut Shaming and Virgin Shaming and Secular and Christian Culture – Dirty Water / Used Chewing Gum and the CDC’s Warnings – I guess the CDC is a bunch of slut shamers ?

    (Link): I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)

    Are Single Women – and specifically Never Married Women – More Likely To Be Victims of Abuse? Rebuttals to this view which is advocated by W B Wilcox

    Are Single Women – and specifically Never Married Women – More Likely To Be Victims of Abuse? Rebuttals to this view

    The study mentioned on this page below is familiar. I read about it over a year ago. Someone did a study claiming that women who never marry are more likely to be abuse victims.

    I’m not sure if I totally understand the study correctly.

    I’m a never-married woman who is over the age of 40, but I fail to see how my single status supposedly makes me more vulnerable to being a crime victim than that of a married woman.

    Or, given that some conservatives are using this study with the assumption that it’s single women who are “shacking up” with a man who are more prone to being victims, I guess I understand that, though I do not necessarily agree.

    That is, some conservatives are using this study to shame single women from having pre-marital sex, or from not having a live-in lover. They are using this to pressure single women to force their live-in lover to marry them.

    I understand the Bible does not condone “shacking up” or pre-marital coitus, but, I am not a fan of my fellow conservatives using such “scare” or “shame” tactics to convince single women from not having pre marital sex or live-in BFs. I think it’s a distasteful, sexist approach.

    You can read more about all this stuff using these links:

    First, here is the offensive, sexist editorial – I mean, how can they blame WOMEN for being the victims of violence?

    They should be calling out the men who are abusing these ladies and/or the children. Also note, on the “One Stop Thread” page of this blog, I have link after link to news stories of married men who were caught sexually or physically abusing their OWN kids or someone else’s!

    Again, here is a link to the offensive editorial:
    (Link): One way to end violence against women? Married dads.

      by W. BRADFORD WILCOX AND ROBIN FRETWELL WILSON June 10

    The data show that #yesallwomen would be safer with fewer boyfriends around their kids.

    … The bottom line is this: Married women are notably safer than their unmarried peers, and girls raised in a home with their married father are markedly less likely to be abused or assaulted than children living without their own father.

    —(end excerpt)—

    The Bible no where suggests that a woman needs to marry or is obligated to marry – Jesus and Paul, in the New Testament, actually depict singleness as being preferable to marriage and parenting!

    If it were true women were safer being married, I think Jesus and Paul would have taught on the topics of marriage and singlehood differently than they did.

    Here are various rebuttals and commentary in response:

    (Link): The Washington Post Says Women Get Abused Because They’re Not Married

    Excerpts:

    The story, which was originally titled “The best way to end violence against women? Stop taking lovers and get married,” got re-named after wise Internet users made a rightful stink over its controversial content. Also noteworthy: the sub-header read “The data show that #yesallwomen would be safer hitched to their baby daddies.”

    Now it’s called “One way to end violence against women? Married dads.” But I think the Post should have taken it down completely.

    Using legitimate data to back up their claims (nothing says “I’m telling you the truth!” like a graph), authors W. Bradford Wilcox and Robin Fretwell Wilson do the world a great disservice by making it sound like women have the power to avoid being abused — and it apparently comes down to what they should be doing with their bodies, their kids, and their lives.

    …. Further, Wilcox and Wilson feign total ignorance of a problem they themselves are perpetuating — institutional sexism and misogyny, which are major factors in the widespread problem of violence against women and children.

    By drawing the conclusion that a simple marriage certificate is actually responsible for the stats, they’re doing both genders a huge disservice, and they’re tricking readers into thinking abuse doesn’t have anything to do with misogyny.

    As they write, “The bottom line is that married women are less likely to be raped, assaulted, or robbed than their unmarried peers.”

    Well, that’s certainly an interesting point. How did they arrive there, and what explains it? Is it true that getting married can protect you from abuse?

    Actually, no. Because correlation doesn’t mean causation. While they back up their conclusion with legitimate data points, the statistics say more about healthy relationships than they do about the institution of marriage.

    —(end excerpt)—

    (Link): Violence Against Women: The Washington Post’s Sad, Sloppy Journalism

      The most serious problem with the Washington Post’s sloppy journalism is that it none-too-subtly suggests that all partner violence against women can be boiled down to a single factor: your relationship status.

    Decades worth of research blow that simplistic idea out of the water in two seconds.

    Continue reading “Are Single Women – and specifically Never Married Women – More Likely To Be Victims of Abuse? Rebuttals to this view which is advocated by W B Wilcox”

    Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

    Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

    I have never approved of May-December relationships, regardless of the gender situation.

    I am grossed out by relationships that have more than a five year age gap (ten at the most). I wrote about that before in (Link): this post.

    (Link): Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

      -‘Some guys prefer blondes, some brunettes – I like old ladies’: ‘Extreme toyboy’, 31, takes 91-year-old girlfriend home to meet his mother
      -Kyle had first sexual experience with a 50-year-old aged 18
      -Claims he has always been attracted to older women
      -Currently dating five women aged over 60, including Marjorie, 91
      -Says they have an active and satisfying sex life
      -Often takes girlfriends home to meet him mother, 51

      As a society, we’ve become used to May to September relationships – just look at Madonna and her latest backing dancer; Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones and their 25-year age gap. No one bats an eyelid any more.

      But one ‘exteme toy boy’ does raise a few eyebrows when he steps out with his lover – because baby-faced Kyle Jones, 31, is in a relationship with a 91-year-old great-grandmother.

      Kyle, from Augusta, Georgia, dates numerous pensioners at the same time and even takes them home to meet his 50-year-old mother. For the last five years he has been in a ‘casual’ relationship with 91-year-old Marjorie McCool.

      And despite the 60-year age gap, the pair have an active sex life and can’t keep their hands off each other.

      Kyle said: ‘Everyone’s brain is wired differently, some guys prefer blondes, some brunettes, some like other guys – I like old ladies.’

      The call centre worker was just 18 when he first acted on his attraction for older women and began a sexual relationship with a 50-year-old.

      Now Kyle uses dating websites to find women as well as chatting them up in his daily life.

      He said: ‘Most of the time, the average age I go for is between 60 and 80.

      ‘Whenever I’m trying to speak to an older woman, the first reaction I get is ‘you’re way too young’.

      ‘I find persistence is good so I tell them it’ll be fun.’

      Although officially single, Kyle regularly sees up to five women at a time and takes them on dates – and even home to meet his mother.

      In 2009 he met great-grandmother Marge – short for Marjorie – in the bookstore where she was working and asked for her number.

      Marge, who had been single for 37 years since splitting with the father of her six children, agreed to go on a date.

      She said: ‘In the beginning I got jealous of his other women but he keeps coming back to me and tells me I’m the best.

      ‘The physical side of our relationship is wonderful. I amaze myself, he amazes me. There’s nothing better.

      …. And while many of the women he dates can’t believe such a young man would find them attractive, Kyle is adamant he does.

      He said: ‘Often, the things women are so self-conscious about is what I’m into. I like the neck lines and wrinkles.

      ‘Women worry about their boobs sagging but I think the natural hang looks great. I’m really not a fan of plastic surgery.

      …Kyle’s preference for the elderly has drawn criticism from those who see him as opportunistic.

      He said: ‘The most common criticism I hear is ‘you’re after money’ or ‘you’re after inheritance’.

      ‘Or people think these women must be buying me things.

      ‘But it’s not true at all – I do this because I like it and they like it too. I’ve dated women from various ends of the financial spectrum, but it’s never about what they have.’

    ———————-
    Related posts:

    (Link): Creepy, wrong, immature and pathetic: older men chasing after much younger women

    Check your ‘cat-lady’ preconceptions about childless women

    Check your ‘cat-lady’ preconceptions about childless women

    (Link): Check your ‘cat-lady’ preconceptions about childless women

      “49% = Number of women ages 40 – 44 who are voluntarily childless”

      “More women choosing a childfree life”

      Editor’s note: Kelly Wallace is CNN’s digital correspondent and editor-at-large covering family, career and life. She is a mom of two. Read her other columns and follow her reports at CNN Parents and on Twitter.

      (CNN) — Women without children like Patrice Grell Yursik, who just celebrated her 12th wedding anniversary, get the same questions all the time.

      “I can’t even tell you how many cab drivers in Chicago, in New York, in L.A., have asked me, ‘So any kids? No kids, why no kids?’ It’s just the way that people engage with you,” said Grell Yursik, 35, of Chicago, creator of the beauty and lifestyle blog Afrobella.com.

      She and her husband have not decided whether they want to have children.

      Laurie White, a 43-year-old writer and social media manager, who has referred to herself over the years as “accidentally childless,” said people always come up with solutions for what they perceive as her “problem.”

      “Why don’t you just parent by yourself? Why don’t you adopt? There are so many kids who need homes,” White, of Olney, Maryland, said people tell her. “It really discounts whether or not that’s something a) that I want to do and b) whether that’s something that’s really wise for me to do as a single person.”

      Kitty Bradshaw, creator of an online destination covering lifestyle in Los Angeles and New York, said, “More and more guys are saying ‘Oh there must be something wrong with you if you are 35 and you’ve never been married and you’ve never had kids.’ ”

      Bradshaw, White and Grell Yursik are not alone by a long shot; 47% of women between ages 15 and 44 don’t have children, according to 2010 U.S.

      Census Bureau data, an increase from 35% in 1976.

      That’s a massive group comprising nearly half the women of childbearing age, and yet this demographic remains misunderstood, poorly portrayed in the media and nearly invisible to Madison Avenue, many women without children say.

      ‘The Otherhood’

      Best-selling author Melanie Notkin, 45, coined the term “The Otherhood,” the title of her newest book, to refer to women like herself who don’t have children either by choice or based on life’s circumstances.

      In her case, she experienced what she calls “circumstantial infertility … the pain and grief over not having children” because she’s single.

      Too often society perceives women like herself as making a choice between having a career and having love, marriage and children, she said.

      “This implication that we have chosen a career as opposed to falling in love is, as I say in the book, about as preposterous for me as having an elephant as a household pet,” Notkin said at a recent panel discussion hosted by DeVries Global, a public relations and social media agency.

      Continue reading “Check your ‘cat-lady’ preconceptions about childless women”

    Being Childfree, Childless, Infertile, or Dealing With the Death of a Mother on Mother’s Day, Or Dealing With An Abusive or Insensitive Mother, Mothers Who Lost Adult or Young Children to Murder, Abortion, Miscarriages, or Sickness (links)

    Being Childfree, Childless, Infertile, or Dealing With the Death of a Mother on Mother’s Day, An Abusive or Insensitive Mother, Mothers Who Lost Adult Children to Murder or Sickness (links)

    Disclaimer: I am not anti-motherhood, nor necessarily against people taking their mothers out to brunch on Mother’s Day, or buying dear old Mom some flowers to mark the occasion.

    I am, however, against the excessive focus on motherhood, the failure to acknowledge and celebrate childless and childfree women, the onslaught of syrupy Mother’s Day hoopla, on and before the day, and the church services that honor mothers because:

    • Some people (women included) were abused by their mothers and so find the holiday awkward or painful,
    • some people had or have mothers who are/were cruel or overly-critical,
    • some people’s mothers are dead and they miss them terribly,
    • some women desire to be a mother but cannot because they are infertile, their spouse is infertile, or they are single and cannot find “Mr. Right” (and don’t believe in getting pregnant outside of marriage, or don’t feel they could support a baby alone)
    • some women choose to be child free, but feel excluded or shamed by church and secular staggering emphasis on motherhood on the holiday

    Some Christians have turned motherhood (as well as fatherhood and marriage) into idols, which they should repent of.

    That is one reason why churches are losing visitors and members: despite the fact that 44% of American adults are single (edit: as of 2014 studies, (Link): that figure is now 51% or greater) and a big chunk are childless, most churches either…

    – IGNORE adult singles/ childless adults,
    or,
    -preachers and Christian talking heads insult adult singleness and adult virginity from their blogs, pod casts, books, organizations, and pulpits, by implying or forth rightly saying, that adult singleness (or being childless) makes a person stunted, or makes a person not as “godly” as being married with kids.

    Now, why the hell does anyone suppose I, a never-married celibate woman, would want to attend a church where I am insulted before I ever step foot in it?

    Most churches spend mountains of money on “family” ministries, family dinners, programs for youth and married couples.

    Most churches and denominations do not budget time or money for adult singles anything – not classes, social functions, dinners. The big message from that is, “At our church, we don’t care about adult singles or those without children. You have to be married with a kid to count here.”

    If you are a church that has a “Mother’s Day” celebration or ceremony of some sort, even if it’s very brief, you should also have one the following Sunday for all the childless, never-married women, the child free women, and infertile- but- married women too, or women who have not been able to carry a baby to term (ie, miscarry) – it’s only fair.

    If you are unwilling to honor ALL women in ALL situations, ages, and life stages, at one time or another during the year in your church, nobody should get a holiday or party, none, nope, nuh-uh.

    This post discusses being single and childless or childfree on Mother’s day, or other circumstances that make Mother’s Day painful for some women.

    —–THE LINKS—–

    (Link): For the childless this Mother’s Day (and those who love them) by S. Burden

    (Link): When Mother’s Day isn’t so rosy: 6 recommended ways to cope

    Excerpt

      Happy Not-A-Mother’s Day to every woman who might be reading this and does not have children. This coming Sunday, it will be Mother’s Day yet again.

    • More than likely the author of this article will attend church services with her husband and quite a few children will be passing out flowers for each of the mothers in attendance. When one of them reaches her and starts to place a beautiful blossom in her hand, she will gently refuse but thank him or her anyway.
    • The child may become confused but that will just have to be.
    • He or she does need to learn that not all the adult women that are in attendance for church are mothers.
    • The author is in her very early 40’s, an adult, and a wife but she is not anyone’s mother. For as long as the Earth has existed, the persistent ticking of most women’s biological clocks have equated their lives with one purpose only and that has been to have children.
    • However in today’s society, great numbers of married women have decided not to have them.
    • Happily the writer of this article was lucky enough to have been born at a time in history where such a choice was accepted with women, and also to luck out and find a husband who felt the same way she did about children.

    (Link): ‘Childless’ or ‘Childfree’: The Difference Matters

    Excerpts

      Here’s the problem: While “childless” means the condition of being without children, it implies that everyone who does not have children would like to have them. However, being “childfree,” like Mirren—and like me—means that one does not want to have children at all.
    • ….The taboo that surrounds women without children, childless or childfree, is potent.
    • We spend a lot of time explaining ourselves (or avoiding explaining ourselves) and looking for people who understand us, who don’t ask us to or expect us to explain. But at the same time, the difference between childless and childfree folks is important to take note of and apply correctly, because we are not, in fact, the same.
    • As a woman who’s childfree, I’m not experiencing reproductive challenges.
    • I’m not waiting for the right partner, or enough money, or the perfect geographic location.
    • I don’t feel like something is missing from my life because I don’t have children. I don’t want to have kids. There is no yet.
    • … That might be hard to swallow, for some—childfree folks constantly hear things like, “You’ll change your mind” and “You’ll regret it.”
    • Perhaps, because it’s still so unfathomable to the world that a woman wouldn’t want a baby, the term is deliberately misunderstood. If we keep confusing the language, the thinking may go, we can deny that childfree women exist.
    • The experience of not wanting children in a world where women are defined by their reproductive desire and potential—where women are expected to structure their lives around babies—is very different than being a woman who would like a baby or would like to be a parent some day. That difference has to do with desire.
    • If you’re a cisgender, heterosexual woman—especially a white woman—who doesn’t have a kid but wants one, you’re still in line with expectations about how a woman should behave.
    • You’re not threatening, you’re adhering.
    • A cisgender, straight woman who doesn’t want a baby is transgressive, subversive, pathological, a perpetual mystery to be solved.
    • Things may be different, of course, if you’re queer, trans, single, poor, or a person of color; as a society, we’re pretty clear on who we want to be having babies.

    (Link): Mother’s Day After Abortion

      Mother’s Day is a wonderful celebration – a time when mothers are honored for their constant love and daily sacrifice, and when life itself is recognized and treasured as the gift that it is.
    • But for many women who have had abortions, Mother’s Day is one of the biggest triggers of painful memories, regrets, and remorse over what “might have been.”
    • My heart breaks for these women.
    • Even though they accepted and believed the messages our society esteems so highly – messages about a woman’s right to choose and the importance of “family planning” – these women have learned, through bitter experience, the truth that abortion is tragic for women.

    (Link): Why You Should Watch What You Say on Mother’s Day

    Excerpts:

      by Lori Holden, May 2014
      ——————–
      An open letter to ministers, yoga teachers, rabbis, spin instructors, pastors, professors, priests, Zumba leaders, imams, motivational speakers, reverends and anyone addressing mothers and fathers in mid-May or mid-June.
      ——————

    Dear Person at the Front of the Room,

    • I know you worked really hard on that homily about Mother’s Day/Father’s Day. It’s a time of joy and appreciation and community for almost everyone you address. Thank you for your special sentiments to soothe those in your audience who don’t have their mothers or fathers accessible to them. It’s a nice touch to bring in that compassion.
    • You may not know this, but there are likely other outliers receiving your message. That 30-something lady who pulled tissues out of her purse and filled up three of them with tears and snot? That man who had to excuse himself awkwardly? That woman who tried to hide the fact that she was sobbing on her yoga mat?
    • These are people who desperately want to be a mother or father, to join the parenting club at long last. To have the cards and commercials and 30% off sales apply to them. To bring into their lives what others are able to effortlessly.
    • These are the outliers in your audience.
    • Let me tell you about some of them.
    • Could be a woman who found out this morning that her third IVF attempt didn’t work — no line on the pee stick. To make matters worse, she turns 35 next week and her medical chart will be marked AMA — advanced maternal age. Her prospects for success with future treatments looks unbearably bleak.
    • Could be a couple who has been waiting in an adoption pool for 28 months. Each period she has — each turn of the calendar page — marks another month their prayers have gone unanswered.
    • Could be a couple who thought they were finally going to be admitted to the Mother’s Day/Father’s Day club, but whose hopes ended in a miscarriage, stillbirth, or neonatal death.
    • Could be a couple whose planned surrogate is suddenly unavailable to them.
    • Could be a man who wore the title of Dad for a few months — until his baby died.
    • Could be a woman who experienced an unexpected pregnancy and took the course to place her baby in the arms of another mother.
    • Could be a couple who has exhausted their options and who has resigned themselves to living a child-free life. Not so much by choice as by circumstance.

    Written by a Child Free, lesbian Woman (you do not have to be a lesbian or agree with or endorse lesbianism to relate to what this woman says):

    (Link): On Not Being a Parent by Julie R. Enszer

      As the United States moves into the frenzied celebrations of female parenthood, I want to register an alternate voice and declare my autonomy from children. I am not a parent, and I am happy to not be a parent.
    • I am a child-free woman. According to the U.S. Census Bureau, in 2008, about 17 percent of women between the age of 40 and 44 had not had a child. This is a significant number of women without children in the United States today.
    • Child-free women do not speak out enough. We are not necessarily women who wanted children but could not have them; we are not necessarily women who forgot to have children; we are not necessarily women who missed a crucial life milestone. Being child-free is not necessarily a source of shame or regret.
    • I want to say plainly: I am blessed to not have children. I have more time and energy to devote to creative pursuits and projects that fuel my passions in the world.

    (Link): A Bittersweet Mother’s Day

      Mother’s Day can be such a bittersweet time. It is a special day to celebrate our mothers, but for those of us who have lost our mothers, did not have a caring mother or have not been able to experience the joys of motherhood despite trying, it can be a painful reminder.

    Continue reading “Being Childfree, Childless, Infertile, or Dealing With the Death of a Mother on Mother’s Day, Or Dealing With An Abusive or Insensitive Mother, Mothers Who Lost Adult or Young Children to Murder, Abortion, Miscarriages, or Sickness (links)”

    Brief Critique of the J. Daly editorial: Does Casual Sex Empower Women?

    Brief Critique of the J. Daly ed: Does Casual Sex Empower Women?

    In the midst of looking up Jim Daly’s contact information (so I could tweet him a link of my previous page), I found this linked to on his Twitter page (he wrote it):

    (Link) Does Casual Sex Empower Women? by Daly

    Here is the part that caught my attention:

      The cultural impact of casual sex

      Sadly, the cheapening of sex is having a long-term impact on marriage… which, in turn, negatively impacts parenting. It’s a tragic chain-reaction of events that work together to undermine the institution of family.

    I know that Focus on the Family has a new family-centric film to promote ((Link): unfortunately), and I see the heading there says “cultural impact,” but Mr. Daly, the fact is, some women never marry and never have children, including Christian women.

    The Bible does not say God promises all women a marriage partner not even the ones who pray for one and who want one.

    If you see my previous post (link), you can see the stats on the number of singles in America.

    Many women today are staying single these days, some against their wishes.

    (That’s right, the typical conservative Christian canard that women are choosing to stay single because they hate marriage, hate men, or put career above marriage, or had tons of marriage proposals but turned them all down because they were too picky, are false).

    There are plenty of Christian women such as myself (though I am half-agnostic now), who were raised in church and by Christian parents to expect, plan for, and count on marriage.

    I had hoped for marriage. I still find myself single. I did not plan on being never-married into my 40s. I may never marry.

    I am still a virgin. I have never had children.

    The church does not support adult virginity – they ignore or shame adult celibate singles (a few links with examples of that can be found at the end of this post, and all over this blog if you search).

    It makes no sense, and I see no biblical support, to suggest the only or main reason to argue against casual sex is on the basis of how it may “impact marriage and family.”

    Continue reading “Brief Critique of the J. Daly editorial: Does Casual Sex Empower Women?”

    The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language (How churches exclude singles and the childless) by E A Dause

    The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language

    (Link): The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language by E A Dause

    Excerpts:

      I am 27, single, and my father has passed away. It seems everywhere I turn in the Christian world — churches, organizations, politicians — I am excluded, because I am not part of a family.

      A pastor comments excitedly on the number of new families joining his church. If I joined, would my membership be valuable? Respected Christian leaders urge us to support “family values.” Are values really tied to family units, or can I have values, too? A politician catering to evangelicals declares strong families to be the foundation of our nation.

      If he even knows I exist, a person without a family, does he even care about my vote?

      Christian magazines and organizations identify themselves by their emphasis on family. Where do I stand with them?

      A church bulletin asks me to bring enough food for my family to the church gathering. Am I even invited in the first place?

      Continue reading “The Isolating Power of Family-Centered Language (How churches exclude singles and the childless) by E A Dause”