21 Hilarious Solo Christmas Cards
Here is just one of several images on their page:
21 Hilarious Solo Christmas Cards
Here is just one of several images on their page:
Love Is Patient: Rare Snail Finally Meets Mate Willing to Accept His Differences
I think there may be a lesson in here somewhere for humans.
by K Bender, Nov 11, 2016
To the human eye, Jeremy doesn’t look that different from most snails, but to other snails he is rather unique.
Due to a genetic mutation, Jeremy’s shell swirls counterclockwise and his sex organs are located on the left side of his head, the opposite arrangement of most snails. According to (Link): NPR, this rare “lefty” look has made it nearly impossible for Jeremy to find a mate, because his sex organs don’t align with those of other snails.
Luckily, Jeremy found a friend in Angus Davison of the University of Nottingham, who is working with a team to find out what gene creates this one in 100,000 anomaly. One of the best ways to do this is to study Jeremy’s offspring. But first the snail has to have offspring, which requires another counterclockwise snail.
To find a mate for the lovelorn snail, Davison asked the public for help on Twitter, attaching the hashtag #snaillove to his plea.
WHO: Single People Who Struggle to Find A Partner To Be Considered “Infertile”
I’m taken aback by some of the cranky comments by people who disagree with this decision. Take for example this (source):
Josephine Quintavalle, from Comment on Reproductive Ethics added: “This absurd nonsense is not simply re-defining infertility but completely side-lining the biological process and significance of natural intercourse between a man and a woman.
Well, excuse the hell out of me, Ms. Quintavalle, but some of us find ourselves single by circumstance – we had hoped to be married in our 20s or 30s but just could not find the right guy. I cannot get pregnant now because I have no husband to have sex with to get pregnant, by, HELLO.
You’re saying women like me shouldn’t be able to get help we need or want in having a kid of our own, if that is what we want (I never cared if I had one myself or not, but some women really want one). There is just no sympathy from some people for the circumstances other people find themselves in in life. I didn’t plan on turning out single well into my 40s, lady.
I don’t think that adult singleness should be thought of in a derogatory fashion as a “disability” (God knows we get enough of that condescending attitude from churches as it is), but I don’t see anything wrong with it pertaining to allowing singles who want to have kid.
I’m also seeing one or two commentators who assume that single adults are more “selfish” than married couples, which is untrue and is (Link): the reverse!
By Rhett Jones
For the WHO’s Dr. David Adamson, one of the authors of the new standards, this move is about creating medical equality. He says, “(Link): The definition of infertility is now written in such a way that it includes the rights of all individuals to have a family, and that includes single men, single women, gay men, gay women.”
Sexual Morality in a Christless World – Re: Book by M. Rueger
Please note: if my one time stalker John Morgan is still at this blog, don’t be surprised if he sees this post by me and either leaves comments on the blog posts I link to below, or else does a new blog post on his blog mentioning this book. Why do I find this habit of Morgan’s annoying? Please (Link): click here to find out.
Someone did a post or two about a book by M. Rueger called “Sexual Mortality in a Christless World.” Here are a few links about it.
Please note: I do (Link): NOT agree with the “Gift of Celibacy” rhetoric, and it appears the author of this book uses that rhetoric in the book.
There are Christian singles who find themselves celibate not because they WANT to be but because they could not find a spouse. They are “Circumstantially Celibate,” as opposed to being “Deliberately Celibate.” Such celibates were not “gifted with Celibacy” by God, nor were they chosen or foreordained by God to be single and celibate.
(Link): Sexual Progress
(Link): Progressively Regressive Sexuality: A Return to Pagan Morality (on Free Republic)
(Link): Progressively Regressive Sexuality A RETURN TO PAGAN MORALITY (on BreakPoint)
(Link): America’s Progressively Regressive Sexuality: A Return to Pagan Morality (copy on CNS)
(Link): Traditional sexual ethics vs. Christian morality by Gene Veith
And I have some additional comments below this excerpt:
The Rev. Dr. Rueger includes a fascinating treatment of sexual morality in the Greco-Roman world. The wide practice of homosexuality in that classical culture–specifically, pederasty, the sexual use of young boys–is particularly illuminating.
He also treats sexual morality in the ancient Hebrew world, which was not without problems of its own (such as easy divorce). The Christian perspective on sexual morality, he shows, has always been counter-cultural. It took its shape from consideration of our identity in Christ.
He says that those who are hailing a “new” sexual morality that has progressed past “traditional values” have it exactly backwards. The “traditional” sexual morality exemplified in the ancient world was one of promiscuity, homosexuality, pederasty, prostitution, and rape. In contrast, Christianity offers a “new” perspective on sex, one that challenges culture in a way that is truly progressive.
…His approach is not just laying down the Law, insisting on a moralism that no one can live up to.
I will say that this one comment –
His approach is not just laying down the Law, insisting on a moralism that no one can live up to.
-Sets off a red flag for me.
Depending on how the author of that blog post means it, and how that concept the book author uses it, it may be the same spin I see from Christians often – that sexual purity, or celibacy, is an (Link): “heroic feat” that (Link): only a few, who have been gifted by God, can manage. This view (Link): is incorrect.
I’m over 40 years of age, I most certainly have a libido, and it’s sexual self control that has kept me a Virgin this long. It hasn’t been due to prayer; not God’s grace, not purely “faith in Jesus,” and other vaguely spiritual talk that Christians often apply to this topic.
Staying a virgin is based on one’s personal choice; there is no spiritual mumbo-jumbo involved. God did not wave a magic wand over me and remove my sexual desires.
If I can do it (and I’ve done it), anyone can – but most choose not to because they are lazy and lack self discipline.
(Note I am talking about consensual sex here. Too often, anti-sexual purity crusaders like to muddy the water by conflating sexual abuse with consensual, extra-marital sexual behavior.)
(Link): Typical Erroneous Teaching About Adult Celibacy Rears Its Head Again: To Paraphrase Speaker at Ethics and Public Policy Center: Lifelong Celibacy is “heroic ethical standard that is not expected of heteros, so it should not be expected of homosexuals” (ie, it’s supposedly an impossible feat for any human being to achieve)
(Link): Singleness Is Not a Gift
(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage
(Link): Seven Truths About Marriage You Won’t Hear in Church by F. Powell
(Link): Permissiveness, Cheap Grace, and Easy Forgivism Run Amok in Christianity – Dallas Preacher Todd Wagner Says Christians Can Use Heroin (parallel to topic of sex, celibacy) / Why some Christians turn agnostic
How Do We Solve a Problem Like the Singles? by Rachel Kilgore
Before I get to the link to the essay by Kilgore, which is hosted at MOS (Mortificiation of Spin / specifically, Aimee Byrd’s blog, ‘Housewife Theologian’):
For years and years on this blog, here on “Christian Pundit” blog, I have been explaining over and over again that most evangelical, Baptist, Reformed, and Fundamentalist Christian denominations, churches, and groups IGNORE adults singles – the older a single you are, the worse it is – the more ignored you are.
I have also commented on other people’s blogs under the Christian Pundit blog name, and under other names, alerting Christians to how horribly American Christians treat adult singles. I have Tweeted about it.
When Christians aren’t ignoring us older singles, and they do manage to notice our existence, many Christians shame us for being single. They insult us. They try to make us feel like we are losers (seriously, see (Link): this post, (Link): this post, (Link): this post), (Link): this post – I could cite many more examples from my blog of anti-Singles bias by Christians, but that should suffice.)
I used to be what is called a gender complementarian. I am not interested in spending a lot of time explaining what that means.
I am no longer a gender complementarian.
I am linking you here to a post about adult singleness at a blog (the one by A. Byrd) owned by what I would term “soft gender complementarians.”
How Churches Ruin Dating – via Relevant
Many churches coach married women in abusive marriage to stay with their abusive spouses: please remember that the next time you hear Christians spouting off dating advice.
Never take dating advice into consideration if it is being doled out by people who think a wife should “submit” to an abusive husband, which most (gender complementarian) Christians believe.
I am not saying that the woman who wrote this page I am linking to below feels that way – I’m not sure what her views are about gender complementarianism or domestic abuse – I am only speaking in general terms.
(Link): How Churches Ruin Dating – via Relevant by K. Wilkinson
Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband
A couple of days ago, I saw this episode of The 700 Club.
A celibate Christian woman wrote Pat Robertson this question –
And her question is one all Christians avoid: they just scream at a 20 year old today to MARRY NOW NOW NOW!
They have no advice and no encouragement to give any adult over 35 who wants to be married but still finds him or herself single.
The usual Christian response is just to shame this lady for supposedly not having done enough to marry when younger, in spite of not knowing her background, or what she did to try to marry – Christians just arrogantly ASSUME if you are not married past a certain age, it is all your fault, and there were no mitigating circumstances.
So here’s her question to Pat, host of The 700 Club:
Single Woman Seeking Manwich by S. Moses
He then said I was bacon him crazy and asked me to be his bay-gal.
I wrote, “I’d loaf to be your bagel!!”
Then I never heard from him again. Maybe I was too eager and shouldn’t have used two exclamation points. The sad thing (yes, sadder than corresponding with a sandwich) is that I was actually disappointed.
Eight Pieces of Christian Dating Advice that is Keeping Me Single. – from Stuff Christians Like.net
(Link): Eight 8 pieces of Christian dating advice that is keeping me single. by Nina Borum
Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships
The letter is much farther below. I wanted to comment on it first.
Here is the set up:
A friend of a divorced guy wrote to Hax, an advice columnist.
I’m not sure if this friend is a man or woman; let’s just assume it’s a man for my post.
My interest in this letter is not in the advice aspect: friend is upset because divorced guy keeps asking him for advice but then gets offended and explodes in anger when Friend gives him advice.
My interest in this letter pertains to two or three other facets:
The letter writing friend says his divorced friend is age mid-40s, while the wife who dumped him was in her early 30s.
I am (Link): not a believer in “May December” relationships, for starters.
A mid- 40s guy should be dating women who are age early- to- late 40s, not an early- 30s woman.
And what in the hey is the age early- 30s woman doing even considering dating some dude who is 14, 15 years her senior?
This is something I have pondered since thinking about dating again: the rebound issue. There is no way I’d date a guy who was divorced (or widowed) for only two years, or less.
If you date a guy who just divorced (or his wife died) two weeks ago, or six months ago, he is not ready for a serious relationship – he’s not even ready for a healthy, casual, fun one.
Five Unhelpful Things Singles Are Tired Of Hearing by R. Duncan / Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Single Friends by K. Wilkinson
There is also a link below to “Eight Things You Should Never Say To Your Single Friends”
Don’t Give Up On Your Dreams
Don’t Let Someone Who Gave Up On Their Dreams Talk You Out Of Yours
In a couple of posts in the past (such as (Link): this one), I discussed the disheartening trend I see in Christian books, articles, interviews, or blogs by (1.) other never-married adult Christians who are over age of 35 or 40 (or, (2.) on occasion by married Christians who condescendingly lecture adult singles on these issues).
These (I am speaking of group 1 above) are adults who had hoped to marry, but they remain single into their late 30s or beyond.
(There is also another group, Christians who are over 40 years of age, who are thrilled and totally at peace at having never married and never really cared either way if they ever married or not. They are guilty of what I write about in this post, too.
Hell, I sometimes see single Christians below the age of 35 who are guilty of this, but their views stem more from being naive about life.)
The never-married Christians, who are past the age of 35 or 40, who have given up on ever getting married themselves then turn around in their interviews, articles, and books and shame other post-age-35 singles from pursuing marriage.
I kid you not. They will guilt trip you if you still hope to marry some day, and you are past 35 years old.
They have given up hope of ever getting married themselves, so they go about trying to convince other singles to give up, too. They will try to shame you out of pursuing your dream. They will tell you that at 40, you are too old to be on dating sites and still expecting marriage.
They believe you should only think of “eternity,” or, they will argue, you should be consumed in this life only with thoughts about Jesus or with how to serve Jesus in the here and now.
They will shame you by telling you that it’s selfish, immature, un-christian, or self-centered (or a combination of all those things) to go after an earthly pursuit such as marriage, even though Jesus did not preach a “pie in the sky” theology, but said he came so that you may have life more abundantly – that means NOW, not after you’re dead.
Many Christians believe in a theology of CODEPENDENCY and ASCETICISM, both of which are condemned in the Bible (see for example Colossians 2:16-22). It is okay to seek after your own personal happiness in the here and now. People who tell you otherwise are peddling false doctrine.
If you are over 35, have never been married, and would still like to be, don’t let anyone else dissuade you from pursuing marriage, especially the ones who once held the dream but have given up.
(Link): Singleness is Not A Gift
(Link): Desire for Marriage is Idolatry?
This applies to marriage, too:
(Link): Hypocrisy in Christian Culture – Those who idolize parenting chide infertiles for trying to have kids
Being Childfree, Childless, Infertile, or Dealing With the Death of a Mother on Mother’s Day, An Abusive or Insensitive Mother, Mothers Who Lost Adult Children to Murder or Sickness (links)
Disclaimer: I am not anti-motherhood, nor necessarily against people taking their mothers out to brunch on Mother’s Day, or buying dear old Mom some flowers to mark the occasion.
I am, however, against the excessive focus on motherhood, the failure to acknowledge and celebrate childless and childfree women, the onslaught of syrupy Mother’s Day hoopla, on and before the day, and the church services that honor mothers because:
Some Christians have turned motherhood (as well as fatherhood and marriage) into idols, which they should repent of.
That is one reason why churches are losing visitors and members: despite the fact that 44% of American adults are single (edit: as of 2014 studies, (Link): that figure is now 51% or greater) and a big chunk are childless, most churches either…
– IGNORE adult singles/ childless adults,
-preachers and Christian talking heads insult adult singleness and adult virginity from their blogs, pod casts, books, organizations, and pulpits, by implying or forth rightly saying, that adult singleness (or being childless) makes a person stunted, or makes a person not as “godly” as being married with kids.
Now, why the hell does anyone suppose I, a never-married celibate woman, would want to attend a church where I am insulted before I ever step foot in it?
Most churches spend mountains of money on “family” ministries, family dinners, programs for youth and married couples.
Most churches and denominations do not budget time or money for adult singles anything – not classes, social functions, dinners. The big message from that is, “At our church, we don’t care about adult singles or those without children. You have to be married with a kid to count here.”
If you are a church that has a “Mother’s Day” celebration or ceremony of some sort, even if it’s very brief, you should also have one the following Sunday for all the childless, never-married women, the child free women, and infertile- but- married women too, or women who have not been able to carry a baby to term (ie, miscarry) – it’s only fair.
If you are unwilling to honor ALL women in ALL situations, ages, and life stages, at one time or another during the year in your church, nobody should get a holiday or party, none, nope, nuh-uh.
This post discusses being single and childless or childfree on Mother’s day, or other circumstances that make Mother’s Day painful for some women.
(Link): Mother’s Day After Abortion
Dear Person at the Front of the Room,
Written by a Child Free, lesbian Woman (you do not have to be a lesbian or agree with or endorse lesbianism to relate to what this woman says):
(Link): On Not Being a Parent by Julie R. Enszer
(Link): A Bittersweet Mother’s Day
Continue reading “Being Childfree, Childless, Infertile, or Dealing With the Death of a Mother on Mother’s Day, Or Dealing With An Abusive or Insensitive Mother, Mothers Who Lost Adult or Young Children to Murder, Abortion, Miscarriages, or Sickness (links)”
Brief Critique of the J. Daly ed: Does Casual Sex Empower Women?
In the midst of looking up Jim Daly’s contact information (so I could tweet him a link of my previous page), I found this linked to on his Twitter page (he wrote it):
Here is the part that caught my attention:
Sadly, the cheapening of sex is having a long-term impact on marriage… which, in turn, negatively impacts parenting. It’s a tragic chain-reaction of events that work together to undermine the institution of family.
I know that Focus on the Family has a new family-centric film to promote ((Link): unfortunately), and I see the heading there says “cultural impact,” but Mr. Daly, the fact is, some women never marry and never have children, including Christian women.
The Bible does not say God promises all women a marriage partner not even the ones who pray for one and who want one.
If you see my previous post (link), you can see the stats on the number of singles in America.
Many women today are staying single these days, some against their wishes.
(That’s right, the typical conservative Christian canard that women are choosing to stay single because they hate marriage, hate men, or put career above marriage, or had tons of marriage proposals but turned them all down because they were too picky, are false).
There are plenty of Christian women such as myself (though I am half-agnostic now), who were raised in church and by Christian parents to expect, plan for, and count on marriage.
I had hoped for marriage. I still find myself single. I did not plan on being never-married into my 40s. I may never marry.
I am still a virgin. I have never had children.
The church does not support adult virginity – they ignore or shame adult celibate singles (a few links with examples of that can be found at the end of this post, and all over this blog if you search).
It makes no sense, and I see no biblical support, to suggest the only or main reason to argue against casual sex is on the basis of how it may “impact marriage and family.”
Insensitive Valentine Meme
I’ve seen an insensitive Valentine meme go around this year, on several sites.
I didn’t save a copy of it, but it’s some text that says something like, “Single this year? Don’t have a Valentine? Well some people don’t have a Mom. Their Mom is dead. Some don’t have a Dad. Their dad is dead. So shut the fuck up about being alone on Valentine’s.”
Yeah, well, my dear mother has been dead a few years now, and I miss her terribly AND I am still single and would like marriage.
So, to whomever dreamed that meme up, be aware there are people seeing it who experienced both kinds of losses.
I can only guess that whomever dreamed that meme up recently lost a parent (or both), and I know that hurts like hell if you were close to either or both, but it’s not cool to bash people who hurt for being single.
Again, my mother is dead, and it was a painful experience for me to endure, harder than anything I’ve ever dealt with, but if you are reading this and both your parents are still alive, but you hurt because you are alone and would like to be married and Valentine’s Day bummed you out – you wish you had a Valentine but do not – you have my sympathy. And I mean that, that is not sarcasm. I am sorry you are single on Valentine’s Day and found it a difficult day to get through.
I think it’s pretty lousy for someone with a dead parent to chide someone else who has living parents, “you can’t be sad about being single since you still have your parents.”
That was like after my mother died, some Christians I ran into would do the same thing, and it was just as bad; they would say things like, “You actually have it pretty good. Your Mom may be dead, but at least you’re not an orphan in Africa.”
As if that made the pain over my Mom being gone any easier to bear? It didn’t. It was insulting.
I realize if your parent recently died and you hear people complain about being single on Valentine’s it can sound moronic… it does sound trivial, doesn’t it? You are missing your loved one who is never coming back, but some single guy or lady you know is crying or complaining because they don’t have a sweetie to bring them a box of chocolates or out on a dinner date. I get it.
Shortly after my mother died, I had one friend who kept bitching and literally crying over stupid stuff like her cell phone battery died, her Play Station unit broke, and another friend would complain over trivial things, like her cat kept puking up hair balls on her carpet. Yes, those sorts of issues did sound pretty trivial compared to my loss. So I do get it.
On the other hand… Don’t tell people they don’t have a right to their pain or grief just because it’s not identical to yours. Some singles, if they’re about 35 or older, may be experiencing Valentine’s Day a lot like death.
Once you get to your mid or late 30s and you’re still not married, it can be crushing. You had really hoped to marry. Your expectation of not being married yet can feel very similar to loss, like loss of a loved one. You may go through a mourning process that is similar… it may take a few years to come to terms with still being single.
So I would not so easily brush off or dismiss every single’s tears shed on Valentine’s over being single. It’s actually rather cruel to tell singles who are having a struggle over being single to just STFU.
I don’t know. It just seemed kind of shitty, rude, and insensitive to me that someone would make a meme saying, “Hey, one of my parents is dead, so nobody else has a right to cry or be sad about anything else!” type thing.
Chinese Singles Buy Movie Tickets So Couples Can’t Sit Together on Valentine’s Day
I love it. I approve. 😆
By Emily Rauhala
Feb. 14, 2014
Singles Who Desire Marriage and 1 Corinthians 7 – it’s benefits, drawbacks – also: 1 Timothy 4:3 and Christians cannot agree on biblical doctrine
I first began this post with only an intent on discussing 1 Corinthians 7 in mind, but as I began typing, it meandered a little into other (but related) topics, then I wandered back to the 1 Cor 7 discussion.
My commentary is below this long excerpt.
Excerpts from 1 Cor 7,
9 But if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.
…25 Now about virgins: I have no command from the Lord, but I give a judgment as one who by the Lord’s mercy is trustworthy.
26 Because of the present crisis, I think that it is good for a man to remain as he is.
27 Are you pledged to a woman? Do not seek to be released. Are you free from such a commitment? Do not look for a wife.
28 But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
…. 32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.
33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife—
34 and his interests are divided. An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.
I have had a blog visitor who says she (or he? Though I think she is a she) loathes and hates 1 Cor 7.
I left her a reply under a previous thread which reads:
But, in other contexts, I like that 1 Cor 7 passage, because married Christians (who are the ones who idolize marriage) need to be reminded that marriage is not better than singleness… that is, churches / body of Christ need to stop showing favortism to married with children couples, as they often do.
If anything, I see some pastors (such as Mark Driscoll, whom I wrote about recently (Link): here ), twist and distort 1 Cor 7 and try to explain it away – because he (and other Christians) view singles as being abnormal, or they view the state of singleness as being abnormal, or not as good as, being married, which is an INSULT to adult singles.
I know it can hurt or be frustrating to want marriage when you are single BUT (at least for me), so long as you are single, until you marry one day (assuming you marry), don’t you want preachers and other married Christians to stop acting as though you are somehow lower or not as godly or mature, or not deserving of a church’s finances and time, just because you are single?
That is why I like to toss 1 Cor 7 in their faces (and other passages).
I’ve sort of written on this topic here:
(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single
There are some never married Christian adults who actually LOVE the GOS (“Gift of Singleness” or “of celibacy,” “GOC”) talk, they have stopped by this blog before to say they like these phrases…
I can’t get these types of adult, Christian singles to see that not only is neither phrase in the Bible, but the phrases are mis-used and abused by married Christians and preachers to keep singles single – the ones who want marriage.
The GOS/GOC talk and terms are used to maintain discrimination against singles. (I’ve blogged about that before, just search the blog using the phrase “gift of singleness.”)
I also have many blog posts talking about the cliches that Christian singles who desire marriage get from married Christians, and it annoys me too. Here are a few posts about it:
… I have similar blog posts, those are just a few.
To sum up, 1 Cor 7 can be a helpful ally and tool in the arsenal of an adult Christian single who runs into Christians who idolize marriage – the ones who behave as though single adults are losers.
I was at a right wing, political blog where all the married people were responding to a news story about childless and single women.
Many of these right wing people on that blog were insulting singles and the state of being childless.
Even secular right wingers tend to make an idol out of marriage, parenting, and the nuclear family.
Many married right wingers, even the secular ones, assume women who are never-married and childless past their 30s are man-hating, atheistic feminists who vote Democrat and have posters of Obama all over their bedroom walls with lipstick-kiss marks on them.
These types of right wing morons never realize that women can be conservative Republican and/or Christians and be single and childless into adulthood, based on circumstances they had no control over, or, based on their choice (but choices which are NOT based on atheism, feminism, liberalism, or hatred of God, country, conservatives, or babies).
Singlehood and childless/child-free are not bastions or life stations of liberal feminists and Democrats only. There are plenty of right wing, Republican, Christian, pro life women who choose to stay single and childless, or who find themselves that way due to circumstance.
Every time these types of right wing jackholes bash liberal feminists for being single and childless, they are also inadvertently bashing Republican, Christian, childless/ childfree women too.
When I tried explaining to these people that I am right wing also, but I am single and childless myself, some of them mellowed out in their criticisms and slams against singles and the childless, but some actually ramped the vitriol up… UNTIL… I quoted this at them:
Once I quoted that from 1 Cor 7, that shut the married Marriage and Baby Idolaters up pronto.
Several replied, “You’re right; the Bible and God are okay with singleness, and women are not expected by God to have kids if they are single, and marriage is a choice, not a commandment. You are right.”
So, 1 Cor 7 can come in handy for an adult single who is getting damn tired of hearing she is a failure or weirdo for not being married past her 20s.
Oddly, the fact that Jesus Christ and Paul were single seem to usually not leave much of an impact on married Marriage and Family Idolaters, when that fact is thrown in their faces.
But, and stranger still, Jesus’ and Paul’s singlehood and childless status is none-the-less a tid bit that Married, Christian Condescending People like to remind Non-Content Adult Singles of.
Seems like 30% – 40% of articles I read for singles by married Christians likes to offer the chirpy reminder, “Remember, singles, Jesus and Paul were single and childless too!”
Okay, Enthusiastic Christian Married Guy, it’s good for you to respect singleness and being childless by recognizing that Jesus Christ and Paul was single and childless.
Married Christians should indeed keep that in mind, that Christ and Paul were single and childless, because God knows, Christians often go blank on that and assume Marriage and Kids are God’s default for EVERYONE.
However, while that is great for Jesus and Paul, I personally would like to marry so I can bang a man weekly (ie, get my sexual lusts fulfilled), have some constant companionship, to stave off bouts of loneliness. Maybe get chocolates in a heart shaped box on Valentine’s from a sweetie pie, instead of eating Campbell’s soup for one over the sink again. That sort of stuff.
On the one hand, 1 Cor 7 can be used as a weapon against married Christians by singles, against the types of married Christians who tend to elevate marriage at the expense of singles and singleness. That is to the single’s advantage.
On the other hand, some Christians, usually married idiots, misuse 1 Cor 7 as a battering ram against adult singles who want to get married.
And that is not right; the twisting or abuse of 1 Cor 7, borders on this:
1 Timothy 4:3
I’m an American in 2014. There is no “present” crisis going on with me personally in 2014 America, as there was when Paul wrote to people telling them it is better for them to remain as they were (single if single, or married if married), given their “present crisis.”
Whatever that crisis was – maybe Christians were being persecuted for being Christian?
Preacher Mark Driscoll Basically Says No, Single Christian Males Cannot or Should Not Serve as Preachers / in Leadership Positions – Attempts to Justify Unbiblical, Anti Singleness Christian Bias
Well then. This post by Driscoll (see link much farther below) will certainly come as a surprise to the guy, Steve Dewitt, I blogged about who worked as an unmarried preacher until he got married for the first time around age 44.
(Link): Male Preacher Marries For First Time At Age 44
(By the way, the Bible nowhere sets a mandatory or even recommended age for marriage; the “wife of your youth” bit that some marriage idolaters enjoy quoting is not prescriptive; it is not commanding that all people have to or should marry young. See also: (Link): Article by J. Watts: The Scandal of Singleness )
The real reason it is, as Driscoll states in his blog post response to a reader question, so “improbable” for a single man to obtain work as a preacher, is not because of any of the reasons Driscoll outlines in his blog page, but because of the prejudice and suspicions Christians harbor against unmarried Christian adults.
(For example, (Link): More Anti Singleness Bias From Al Mohler – Despite the Bible Says It Is Better Not To Marry)
Many churches are biased against hiring singles because:
I tire of how Christians allow their personal views or cultural views color how they interpret Scripture to disqualify folks, which is precisely what Driscoll does in his reply to the question:
Do you think that God still calls men with the “gift of singleness” into pastoral ministry? If not, what role do you think single males can play in serving the church?
(Link): Single Pastors?
Basically, Driscoll falls back on the old saw and some misunderstandings – which are used to discriminate against Christian singles – that only a few are given the “gift of singleness”
, and to note that Jesus and Paul were single, but for some reason, they are grand exceptions.
Yes, even though the founders of your religion were childless and unmarried, it’s not okay for others who follow their teachings to be single, childless, and in leadership positions. What a peculiar and unbiblical double standard.
That the Bible states in the New Testament that an overseer may be married with children, and that such a family should be orderly and under control (see (Link): 1 Timothy 3), does not need to be interpreted in such as way to mean, or does not necessarily mean, that ONLY married men with children may apply…
And what of married men with infertile wives, or married men who have only ONE child?
Being ‘overly’ literal or narrow with the “must be married with kids” verse unnecessarily disqualifies many people, so I think a fresh interpretation of, or study of, such passages is needed, since it is being used to discriminate against whole swaths of people.
I also note that Driscoll himself, despite being married, apparently fails several criteria of 1 Timothy 3, in that he is most certainly not “gentle,” is not “above reproach,” and has been, in the past, “quarrelsome.” Driscoll is, from my view, most likely guilty of being “a lover of money.”
To cite but a few examples (but I would encourage you to google the guy’s name and do more research):
Continue reading “Preacher Mark Driscoll Basically Says No, Single Christian Males Cannot or Should Not Serve as Preachers / in Leadership Positions – Attempts to Justify Unbiblical, Anti Singleness Christian Bias”