A Thing Called “Singleism” (Podcast Episode) – Societal Discrimination Against Single Adults

A Thing Called “Singleism” (Podcast Episode) – Societal Discrimination Against Single Adults

I have not listened to this podcast myself. Apparently, the part about being single is the second or so topic discussed in the podcast.

I’m a conservative, not a progressive or a Democrat. If the first part of this program discusses Democrats in a glowing manner, my apologies. I assume you can move the play head past the nauseating pro-liberal, pro-progressive commentary, if any exists.

(Link): A Thing Called “Singleism” (Podcast Episode)

Description on the page:

EPISODE SUMMARY
An odd late-August election date in New York gave Democrats new hope for the midterms thanks to surging voter energy. Is that the whole story?

Then, the social stigma against staying single past “marrying age” still exists and some call it Singleism. What does the data show?

Continue reading “A Thing Called “Singleism” (Podcast Episode) – Societal Discrimination Against Single Adults”

Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness

Below this article, I have a lot of comments, before I resume with providing another link related to this first one:

(Link): Woman says why she’s rejecting these ‘lonely, single men’

Aug 18, 2022
By Jana Hocking, News.com.au

Unless you were hiding under a rock this week, you would have read about an article published on Psychology Today titled “The Rise of Lonely, Single Men.”

It was written by psychologist, Greg Matos, and revealed that dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.

The psychologist explained that women are now only dating men who share the same values, have great communication skills and are emotionally available. Praise the lord!

Toxic men are out, respectful studs are in.

Now first of all, may we get out our violins and play a sad melody for the men who have treated women like absolute rubbish and then realized that they’re now single and alone. How unfair for these poor creatures.

You see, while they were bed-hopping, ghosting, breadcrumbing and doing all sort of mind f–kery to us women folk, we were quietly, and subtly embracing this ‘self love’ culture that started to emerge in TED Talks, TikTok videos, YouTube channels, and various other online forms.

Oprah preached: “If you feel like he is stringing you along, then he probably is. Don’t stay because you think ‘it will get better’. You’ll be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.”

Continue reading “Woman Says Why She’s Rejecting These ‘Lonely, Single Men’ – also: Male Entitlement In and Out of the Church, Men Who Won’t Take Personal Responsibility for Their Singleness”

Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist

If any of the usual conservative commentators, male or female, get wind of this article by this psychologist, they will somehow try to pin the blame for more men going single longer – on all women, or on feminism.

I’m a conservative who doesn’t agree with progressive woke ideology, but I’ve noticed that other conservatives, despite claiming to believe in the concept of ‘personal responsibility’ never- the- less do not want to hold men accountable for the failures of men, whether on the individual level or men as a group.

Then, these same conservatives, who bemoan the “victimhood” mentality of progressivism, go on to depict all men as being poor, put upon victims.

If men of today are finding it more difficult to get dates, they need to take personal responsibility and work on improving themselves, rather than go the usual “blame feminism” or “blame all women” route, which is what they normally do.

I can see secular and Christian conservatives blaming women for this phenomenon – they are going to blame and shame women, and yell at women to lower their standards.

I find it absolutely refreshing to learn from these articles that women are now vastly out-numbered on dating sites.

I think I read the figure is 62%; that is, 62% of the participants on dating sites are male, the rest are female, so that women have the pick of the litter, LOL. This is a nice turn around.

This is the total opposite of churches.

Most churches have gender imbalances that favor single men – most churches have way more single women than single men. If you’re a single, practicing Christian woman that wants marriage, you need to dump the “equally yoked” rule and perhaps giving dating sites a second look.

Not that dating sites and apps are a god-send, because there are weirdos, rapists, and wackos on there, but you have more single men to choose from on dating sites than in many churches.

(Link):  The Rise of Lonely, Single Men by Greg Matos

Excerpts:

Dating apps and a drastically changing relationship landscape.

KEY POINTS

    • Dating opportunities for heterosexual men are diminishing as relationship standards rise.
    • Men represent approximately 62% of dating app users, lowering their chances for matches.
    • Men need to address skills deficits to meet healthier relationship expectations.

(Link): Number of ‘lonely, single’ men is on the rise as women with higher dating standards look for partners who are are ’emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values’, says psychologist

August 15, 2022
by Jessica Green

Men are lonelier than ever as they struggle to meet the higher dating standards of modern women, according to a psychologist.

American psychologist Greg Matos wrote in a recent Psychology Today article that the current state of young and middle-aged men’s love lives shows they need to ‘address a skills deficit’.

He said: ‘I hear recurring dating themes from women between the ages of 25 and 45: They prefer men who are emotionally available, good communicators, and share similar values’.

Yet, he claimed he’s found that modern men’s biggest problem is communication, which is ‘the lifeblood of healthy, long-term love’.

It comes as data shows dating apps are overrun with men – who represent 62 per cent of users – and figures collected in the US in 2019 showed more men than women were single.

Dr Matos said society fails to teach young boys the importance of communication, which has resulted in growing numbers of unintentionally single men.

Continue reading “Number of ‘Lonely, Single’ Men is on the Rise as Women with Higher Dating Standards Look for Partners Who are ‘Emotionally Available, Good Communicators, and Share Similar Values’, Says Psychologist”

Adult, Single Woman Forgotten and Lie Dead in Her Home for Two Years Before Body Discovered

Adult, Single Woman Forgotten and Lie Dead in Her Home for Two Years Before Body Discovered

I believe this is in London, Great Britain. I’ve read of similar scenarios occurring in the United States.

As I said on Twitter, too many American churches (and even abuse survivor advocates) are too hyper-focused on children to show much interest or care in helping anyone single (or even married) over the age of 30,  40, 50, etc.

I don’t want to fall into the strange, usually liberal habit of insisting that everyone care about a particular topic as much as I do, but I find it troubling and weird that people can clutch their pearls in worry over child neglect or child abuse but not seem to care about elderly (or middle aged) people who die alone and so on.

I guess it’s like people who go looking at an animal shelter to adopt a pet, and they go for the puppies and kittens, rather than the elderly cats and dogs who arguably need care and a home more than the babies do.

As someone who is a former codependent, I myself have to be careful about not adopting a “care taker” role, though.

I spent too many years trying to rescue or look out for other people around me (whether family, co-workers, or neighbors), of whatever age, and I am burnt out.

I don’t see why churches cannot do more in this area, though.

I have several news articles cited on my blog about married people who die all alone.

Yes, even if you are married and even if you have adult children, you can end up dying alone. It happens.

(Link): The police failures that left ‘forgotten’ woman to lie dead in her flat for two-and-a-half years: How officers TWICE visited her home and claimed medical secretary was ‘safe and well’ after refusing to force entry

July 22, 2022
by Martin Robinson

Police twice decided not to break into a flat where a medical secretary lay decomposing for two-and-a-half years and even mistakenly claimed she had been seen ‘safe and well’ despite having already been dead for at least 14 months by then, an inquest heard.

Sheila Seleoane’s housing association had also failed to ‘connect the dots’ when she stopped paying rent, her gas was switched off and neighbours complained of a terrible smell emanating from her home in Peckham.

The hearing at Southwark Coroner’s Court was told her rent payments stopped around the time she died, but Peabody was able to arrange for them to be taken from her Universal Credit benefits.

The housing association also switched off Miss Seleoane’s gas supply without making contact with Britain’s ‘forgotten’ woman.

Continue reading “Adult, Single Woman Forgotten and Lie Dead in Her Home for Two Years Before Body Discovered”

Florida Strip Club in Lawsuit Over Refusing Entry to Single Women

Florida Strip Club in Lawsuit Over Refusing Entry to Single Women

Strip clubs are sexist, so I don’t know why any woman, single or married, would want to attend one – but putting that aside – I am not fine with businesses who discriminate against single adults.

I have a few more examples on my blog of restaurants, parks, and other venues that harass single adults for showing up single. It’s not okay to do this. 

(Link): Florida strip club in lawsuit over refusing entry to single women – most of this article is behind a pay wall

(Link): Women denied entry at Rachel’s strip club will take case to state Supreme Court — again  – behind a pay wall

(Link): Two women were told they couldn’t enter a strip club without a man, sparking a constitutional battle in Florida – behind a pay wall (Washington Post)

About a different incident (also mentions the club in Florida):

(Link): Women Say Strip Clubs Turned Them Away Without Men

By Sandra Esquivel and Myriam Masihy
Published May 7, 2018 

Heather Cox and her wife, Sonia Otalvaro, wanted a fun night out when they went to Dean’s Club in North Miami Beach. But they say they never got past the front door.

“We said, ‘Yeah, we want to come in,’ and they said, ‘You can’t,’ and I was very confused by that answer,” recounted Cox. “So I asked again, ‘What do you mean we can’t? You have to be accompanied by a man’ they said.”

The couple, who was visiting from San Francisco, says they called an attorney to sue the club for violating Miami Dade County code that prohibits discrimination based on “gender or sexual orientation.”

Continue reading “Florida Strip Club in Lawsuit Over Refusing Entry to Single Women”

Are Single People Discriminated Against? Many Say Yes – via YouGovAmerica

Are Single People Discriminated Against? Many Say Yes – via YouGovAmerica (February 2022)

Their page has some infographs on it, which I won’t be copying and placing in this post.

(Link): Are Single People Discriminated Against? Many Say Yes

Excerpts:

by Taylor Orth

Does discrimination against single people exist in the U.S.? According to a new poll, Americans are split, with unmarried women especially likely to say yes.

The Cambridge English Dictionary recently added a new word: singlism, which is defined as the “unfair treatment of people who are single.”

Social psychologist Bella DePaulo coined the term roughly a decade ago, and while it hasn’t permeated mainstream discourse to the extent of other “-isms,” such as racism and sexism, awareness surrounding the stigma and disadvantages faced by singles has arguably risen in recent years.

DePaulo’s thesis, that unmarried people are treated unfairly, is backed up by recent research showing that single people report lower levels of well-being compared to coupled adults, which researchers find is at least partially attributable to negative treatment and discrimination.

Continue reading “Are Single People Discriminated Against? Many Say Yes – via YouGovAmerica”

How I Navigated the Minefield of Online Dating in Later Life – and How You Can Too by Alice Grebot

How I Navigated the Minefield of Online Dating in Later Life – and How You Can Too by Alice Grebot

(Link): How I Navigated the Minefield of Online Dating in Later Life – and How You Can Too by Alice Grebot

Excerpts:

Feb 27, 2022

D*ck pics, scammers and GHOSTERS… would you brave online dating?

It’s the most popular way to find love in 2022 – but as these three women discovered, online dating in later life is a minefield!

‘I had to Google what ghosting is’

…After a few months of being single, I began hankering for some adult company, and online dating felt like the easiest way to meet somebody. I’d met my ex at work and I had a little experience of it from years ago, but the idea of speed dating or singles’ clubs didn’t appeal, and no one seemed to go out ‘on the pull’ any more.

I downloaded Bumble, Hinge and Tinder, but soon deleted the latter, as it seemed to be full of men looking for something casual, while I wanted a relationship.

Continue reading “How I Navigated the Minefield of Online Dating in Later Life – and How You Can Too by Alice Grebot”

Americans Increasingly Ditching Religious Marriage for Secular, Interfaith Relationships: Study

Americans Increasingly Ditching Religious Marriage for Secular, Interfaith Relationships: Study

Not only has there been a surge in editorials the last few weeks by conservative marriage-pushers beating young people over the head to marry and marry really young (I’ve not gotten around to addressing those articles and editorials)-

But I wouldn’t be surprised in the weeks to come if conservatives, both secular and Christian, don’t see this new study about interfaith marriages being on the rise, freak out, panic, and start publishing a lot of fear-mongering editorials or pod-casts guilt tripping or manipulating Christian singles into abiding by “equally yoked” and not even thinking about marrying a Non-Christian.

I have some more comments to make below these two links with excerpts:

(Link): Americans increasingly ditching religious marriages for secular, interfaith relationships: study

Excerpts:

by L. Blair
Feb 18, 2022

Fifty years ago, religious marriage ceremonies were the norm. Most people got married to someone who shared their faith, and just a small fraction of husbands and wives were in relationships where no one practiced a religion.

That trend, according to the latest American National Family Life Survey, is now on the decline as the influence of religion in society has been progressively fading.

…“Only 30% of Americans who were married within the past decade report having their ceremony in a church, house of worship or other religious location and officiated by a religious leader,” the study said.

Interfaith marriage — a union between people who have different religious traditions — has also grown increasingly common and make up 14% of all marriages. Another 14% of Americans are in a religious-secular marriage where one person does not identify with a faith tradition while the other does

Continue reading “Americans Increasingly Ditching Religious Marriage for Secular, Interfaith Relationships: Study”

I Guess The Southern Baptist “Biblical Womanhood” Site Is No More – Many Other Complementarian Blogs Now Inactive – and I’m Not Sad About It

I Guess The Southern Baptist “Biblical Womanhood” Site Is No More – Many Other Complementarian Blogs Now Inactive – and I’m Not Sad About It

I wrote about this Southern Baptist site a few years ago, here:

(Link): Southern Baptist’s New Sexist “Biblical Woman” Site – Attitudes in Total Face Palm of a Site One Reason Among Many This Unmarried and Childless Woman Is Saying Toodle-Oo to Christianity

Biblical Womanhood mast head screen shot
Biblical Womanhood mast head screen shot

That site was hosted here at one time:

(Link): Biblical Womanhood (Southern Baptist site – www.biblicalwoman.com)

However, as of February 2022, the site is not loading. I guess it was taken down?

I’ve done some web searching, but I cannot find another site about Biblical Womanhood like this one by SWBTS, or written by them.

Their site was an off shoot of Southwestern Baptist Theological Seminary (their site: swbts.com).

Their site’s affiliated Twitter, account, @BiblicalWoman still exists, but they removed all Tweets – well, the Twitter account must’ve been newer than the site, because the Twitter page says they started their account in 2019, but their site goes back to at least around 2014.

Apparently, the last that site was active was May 15, 2021, if the (Link): Wayback Machine site: Biblical Womanhood Site Archived is any indication.

On another look, 2015 was the date on Wayback Machine’s last available date for them, but a few of their blog posts are time stamped 2019.

Edit. I think somewhere on the archived “Biblical Womanhood” site is a notice that says they will be shutting their Christianized Martha Stewart site down and moving content over to Facebook.

Let me see if I can find them on Facebook. Their archived site states that their Facebook group address is (Link): facebook.com/BiblicalWoman. I tried that link, but it goes to a blank page, except for this text:

This Page Isn’t Available
The link may be broken, or the page may have been removed. Check to see if the link you’re trying to open is correct.
— end —

So even their Facebook presence was deactivated at some stage.

But where ever, and how ever, will I get content to shame me for being single into my adulthood (the TGC or Desiring God sites maybe)?

Where else will I get content like, “55 Feminine, Biblical Casserole Recipes with Hamburger Meat as an Ingredient,” -?
or, “17 Feminine, Godly Handi-Crafts Using Popsicle Sticks Glued Together” -? Where?! 

Can I make it through life without gender stereotyped dating, cooking, and arts- and- crafts advice from complementarians?  What ever will I do?🤔🙄

From the Southern Baptist Biblical Womanhood’s (Link): archived “About” page:

Whether it’s parenting your teenage daughter, finding purpose in your singleness ….
— end excerpt —

Oh please. 99.9% of the time, 100% of complementarians are only interested in three, four areas areas in regards to women(*), and NONE of them have to do with single women, because complementarians, beyond giving their presumptuous “practice being a good homemaker NOW, while you’re living alone in your own apartment, to prepare yourself for the day, when you’re 25 and get married and have children!” articles (presumptuous because some women never end up marrying), they never have anything meaningful to say about adult female (or male, for that matter) singleness.

The areas most complementarians harp on 100% of the time include:

  • convincing women it’s not biblical for them to preach,
  • brainwashing them to think the complementarian form of codependency (“submission”) is good and godly,
  • and constantly harping on “marriage and motherhood.”

Continue reading “I Guess The Southern Baptist “Biblical Womanhood” Site Is No More – Many Other Complementarian Blogs Now Inactive – and I’m Not Sad About It”

Singles: Don’t Let Valentine’s Day Wreck Your Life By Lisa Anderson

Singles: Don’t Let Valentine’s Day Wreck Your Life By Lisa Anderson

For a Christian-penned essay, this is pretty good (the link, with excerpts, is below).

I usually find most Christian- authored material about singleness to be off mark, but this was pretty good.

Pair of Valentine's Day Hearts A word from me about Valentine’s Day, that echoes what the author below says:
If you’re single, want to be married, but still find yourself single into your 30s, 40s, or older, Valentine’s Day can be a painful and/or frustrating holiday.

With the passage of time, though, as I came to accept my singleness (I had wanted to be married for years, but it never came to pass), as more and more time went by, Valentine’s Day stopped bothering me.

Maybe the same will be true for you, if you’re single, don’t want to be single, and find Valentine’s to be a difficult holiday.

I initially found Valentine’s Day sad, then after a few years (as I was still single), I was annoyed or angered by it – then after a few more years (still single), it just stopped bothering me – I’d say this was some time around my mid or late 40s, age-wise.

I was kind of apathetic about this holiday by around my late 40s. These days, I actually kind of enjoy Valentine’s Day.

In my family, when I was growing up, Valentine’s Day was not just about romantic love; my Mom used to give us (my siblings and myself) Valentine’s (cards and candy), and as I got older, my Dad usually gives me a Valentine’s card, I send them either via snail mail or on social media to my sister, she sends them to me, and I sometimes give my Dad a card.

You don’t have to have a boyfriend or a husband to celebrate the holiday. You can still send cards or candy to family or friends.

My point being, as time goes by, the holiday loses its sting – at least it did for me. You may even come to enjoy it, the more you accept the fact that marriage hasn’t happened for you. I’ve actually come to enjoy Valentine’s.

This year, I bought a couple of bags of chocolate candy on sale prior to the holiday; they are heart-shaped chocolates in red- colored wrappers, and I had a handful on Valentine’s Day. I treated myself, and it felt good.

I don’t know where you are in acceptance of your singles status, but if you’re still struggling, know that with the passage of time, it will probably get easier for you.

(Link): Singles: Don’t Let Valentine’s Day Wreck Your Life By Lisa Anderson

Excerpts:

….I chose long ago to face February 14th without fear. If you’re single with no romantic prospects in sight, here are a few ideas for how to do the same.

It’s OK to be sad. Valentine’s Day is marketed for couples, and if you don’t have a plus-one, it’s easy to feel left out. Whether you’ve been overlooked in love, you’ve recently walked through a breakup or divorce, or perhaps the love of your life has died, love lost is something to be grieved.

Don’t be ashamed to give yourself the time and space you need.

Continue reading “Singles: Don’t Let Valentine’s Day Wreck Your Life By Lisa Anderson”

Police: Put Your Loser Ex Behind Bars for Valentine’s Day

Police: Put Your Loser Ex Behind Bars for Valentine’s Day

(Link): Police: Put Your Loser Ex Behind Bars for Valentine’s Day

By Hannah Sparks
Feb 4, 2022

… Pair of Valentine's Day HeartsA police department in Georgia has endorsed an empowering alternative to the romanticized traditions of Valentine’s Day.

As millions of couples exchange flowers, chocolate and others gifts, the Rockmart Police Department, located about an hour west of Atlanta, encouraged their followers on Facebook to get back at their ex (or current partner!) with the help of local law enforcement.

Continue reading “Police: Put Your Loser Ex Behind Bars for Valentine’s Day”

Rebuttal to, Or Observations About, the Kerwin Holmes Jr. Editorial “On Finding ‘The One:’ Another Correction on Christian Teaching Concerning Romance”

Rebuttal to, Or Observations About, the Kerwin Holmes Jr. Editorial “On Finding ‘The One:’ Another Correction on Christian Teaching Concerning Romance”

The following post has been edited after publication to fix typing mistakes or to add more commentary.


I will be commenting on this editorial about singleness and marriage on The Christian Post:

(Link): On finding ‘the one:’ Another correction on Christian teaching concerning romance by Kerwin Holmes Jr

That post as linked to on The Christian Post’s Facebook page:

(Link): On Finding The One – post on Facebook Page

This guy’s editorial is written in an odd way, so I’m having to go back and re-read it to just to try and comprehend some of the points he’s making.

Maybe I am totally wrong about this, but my impression is that Holmes is either in his 20s at this time, or in his 30s.
(Wait until he’s in his 40s or older and STILL single.  If Holmes still has not married by age 40 or older, his views on these matters will likely shift in time, thanks to good old life experience.) kermitTyping

Also distracting: his first name, Kerwin, reminds me of Kermit the Frog, so I unintentionally keep visualizing Kermit sitting at a keyboard typing this editorial I am reading. (That is not intended to be an ad hominem, just a random aside.)

At the beginning of Holmes’ editorial, he tells readers to view or read dating advice articles or videos by Christian pastors or personalities that he agrees with, such as the works by Reformed pastors or personalities in general and Voddie Baucham in particular .

Let me stop him right there.

I spent years following Christian dating advice (stuff I read or heard in the 1980s and 1990s, advice by and from standard, run- of- the- mill conservative Baptist or evangelical Christians), and none of that smelly, stupid advice ever actually helped me to marry, though I had wanted to be married for many years (I am currently in my 50s and still single). 

As a matter of fact, a lot of Christian dating advice, even the advice by conservative Christians, is counter-productive and actually plays a role in keeping single adults single (this includes, and is not limited to, the “be equally yoked” rule).

Continue reading “Rebuttal to, Or Observations About, the Kerwin Holmes Jr. Editorial “On Finding ‘The One:’ Another Correction on Christian Teaching Concerning Romance””