‘I Hate Dating Apps So Much!’ By Heather Havrilesky
(Link): ‘I Hate Dating Apps So Much!’ By Heather Havrilesky
I’m a huge fan, and I’m so grateful for your writing. There is one area, however, where I think you may have a blind spot, and that is the absolutely terrible plight of trying to find love on dating apps.
Your general advice about the pursuit of love always resonates:
Build a life alone that you love; hold onto your belief that love exists even when it makes you feel vulnerable and uncool; if you meet someone you think you like but they’re tepid or not fully invested, go ahead and tell them to fuck off.
I now read this and think, “Yep, got it, great advice, duly noted.”
My execution is sometimes imperfect, but I remain fully convinced that you are right about these things.
However, that belief doesn’t change the day-to-day, grueling nature of what “being open to love” in 2019 entails.
I am 35 years old, and I have been on and off dating websites or apps for almost a decade.
During that time, I’ve met a very small handful of people I ended up caring deeply for, or felt I could deeply care for, but for various reasons it has never worked out.