How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life

How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life

(Link): How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life

The “solo” movement is quickly becoming popular, especially among women who are tired of being told they need to settle down.

Jan 19, 2022
By Joyann Jeffrey

It’s projected that 1 in 4 millennials will never tie the knot — and that’s absolutely OK. Recent studies show that getting married isn’t necessarily the key to happiness.

Single people tend to exercise more, have more friends and are more likely to volunteer in their communities than married folks.

That’s why Peter McGraw, a 51-year-old behavioral economist, started an online community known as (Link): the “solo” movement that celebrates single life and rewrites the misconception that “singles are sad and lonely.”

“Why is it that when you ask a married person, ‘Are you happy?’ and they say yes, you believe them,” he told TODAY’s Maria Shriver. “And then when someone asks a single person, ‘Are you happy?’ and they say yes, there’s still some doubt there? If someone says they’re happy, trust them — because there’s many ways to be happy in life.”

What is the “solo” movement?
This movement aims to enforce the notion that people can find happiness and fulfillment outside of marriage.

Continue reading “How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life”

Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps

Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps

(Link): Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps

Dating apps have made it easier than ever to find a partner. Paradoxically, the ease of finding matches means some remain perpetually single.

January 8, 2022
by Scotty Hendricks

Dating can be drudgery. The trouble of finding someone to date, going to a restaurant for a quasi-job interview, having to scrutinize everything they say for red flags like you’re trying to root out a communist agent, and then having to decide if the whole experience was enjoyable enough to do it again might make a person want to stay single forever.

Dating apps were supposed to make this easier by simplifying the first part: finding the potential mate.

With the swipe of a finger, you can search through eligible bachelors and bachelorettes all over the globe.

However, a forthcoming study in the American Economic Journal: Microeconomics suggests that the ease of using dating apps can, and does, cause some people to think that “the one” is merely one more swipe away — so they never actually go on a date.

Continue reading “Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps”

What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up? By Kaitlyn Greenidge

What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up? By Kaitlyn Greenidge

(Link): What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up? By Kaitlyn Greenidge

Excerpts:

January 4, 2022

[The author discusses how she didn’t get married until around her late 30s, but then she got divorced, and she lives in a noisy home with many family members]

…What has not materialized is the intense loneliness that people warned me would come with divorce.

…It’s a different world from the one my parents inhabited when they divorced, one in which many people treated their separation as if it were an infectious disease and shunned us for a number of years.

…Marriage, of course, can be all those things to many people, but my own brought something different, which has led to this desire to be alone again.

Continue reading “What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up? By Kaitlyn Greenidge”

Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay


Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay

In the last two months, I’ve seen two different editorials from conservative site The Federalist in support of marriage (or parenthood).

I’m a conservative. I am not in opposition to marriage or people choosing to have children.

My issue with other conservatives is that they are so paranoid of liberals and assume all liberals are anti-marriage and anti-parenthood to the degree that they leave no room for nuance, meaning, that unfortunately, many pro-marriage and pro-parenthood conservatives end up “trash talking” singleness and the state of being childless (or being childfree).

I’m a conservative woman who has never married, and I’ve never had children, yet I do not hate marriage or married people having children, and I am so tired of these conservative authors or pundits feeling it necessary to put down single or childless adults like myself in their quest to defend marriage and natalism – conservative single adults like myself get caught in the cross-fire.

If you are a conservative who believes too many liberals are anti-marriage or anti-parenthood, and you want to speak out in favor of either station, that’s fine with me, but as a single, childless, conservative woman, I do get very hacked off and offended to read these conservative articles and editorials whose authors assume that any and all single and childless (or childfree) adults are awful, selfish, anti-family, weird, under-developed, or jerks.

Not every one in the United States today who is single past the age of 30, or who is childless or is childfree, is a feminist, a liberal, a progressive, pro-abortion, Democrat, or anti-family.

So, to my fellow conservatives, stop assuming that all single adults who remain single by choice OR by circumstance, or who are childless or childfree, are terrible, selfish, or are baby-hating progressives.

There is ZERO NEED to defend or promote marriage by talking in a derogatory manner about singleness or the state of being childless or childfree.

Make your case in favor of marriage or natalism without resorting to insulting all single adults, or assuming and making the false case that all single adults hate marriage, hate babies, or vote Democrat.

Here is the first of two recent pro-marriage or pro-natalism editorials at conservative site The Federalist  that manage to work in insults and slams against single adults or singleness itself – which is totally shameful and unnecessary!

(Link):  Joy Behar Accidentally Admits Social Conservatives Were Right About Sex

Pertinent Excerpts:

BY: NATHANAEL BLAKE
December 10, 2021

… In particular, large numbers of unattached men are bad for society; having a family encourages men to be productive and protective, rather than idle drones or predators.
— end excerpts —

I mean, really? It’s not necessary or fair to refer to or describe men who remain single as being “idle drones or predators.”

I have a long-running list of news headlines at my blog (in this post) of married men (some who even work as church pastors) who were arrested for wife abuse, making child porn, or raping children.

Serial killer John Wayne Gacy was married to a woman, had two biological children by her, but he went on to rape and murder over two dozen young men. Did marriage and fatherhood make Gacy more “loving” and “giving?” No, no it did not.

Marriage does not stop a man from being “a predator.”

Continue reading “Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay”

What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers – Critique: Some Christians Marketing Sexual Abstinence as “Purity in Jesus”

What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers – Critique: Some Christians Marketing Sexual Abstinence as “Purity in Jesus”

I have a lot of commentary to make below this long article, because one of the topics I discuss below is one aspect that bugs me when reading how Christians have been addressing the topic of sexual abstinence and fornication for the past decade or so:

(Link): What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers

By Nicole Alcindor, December 20, 2021

While many Christians are taught that premarital sex and cohabitation aren’t advisable for many reasons, a growing number of single believers are following secular society’s model instead of the biblical model. 

In the most recent episode of “Challenging Conversations” on the edifi podcast network, host Jason Jimenez, who’s also a pastor and founder of Stand Strong Ministries, was joined by apologist Sean McDowell to discuss why some 60% of professing Christians believe cohabitation and sex outside of marriage are OK.

Jimenez said he and McDowell, who hosts classes on premarital sex and marriage at Summit Ministries, wanted to speak truth in love, as Ephesians 4:15 says, and began the discussion by reading what the Biblical Counseling Coalition says about sex outside of marriage:

[P]remarital cohabitation has become common in the Church because many Christians have made today’s secular values their own. Our society cherishes ‘trying before buying,’ convenience at any cost, sex without rules, companionship without commitment, and relationship without responsibility — everything premarital cohabitation provides. Instead of questioning such values — if not downright opposing them — countless Christians have adopted them. It’s no wonder so many of them are living together before tying the knot.

Speaking about the saturation of unbiblical ideas about sex, pornography and relationships that Gen Zers and youth are exposed to, McDowell noted that, unlike the 1980s and ’90s when exposure was limited to select movies, MTV and a few other sources, today, youth have easy access to porn and are inundated with unhealthy messages.  

Continue reading “What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers – Critique: Some Christians Marketing Sexual Abstinence as “Purity in Jesus””

Christmas Morning House Fire Leaves Father and Two Children Dead, Wife and Oldest Child Injured

Christmas Morning House Fire Leaves Father and Two Children Dead, Wife and Oldest Child Injured

My condolences to this family.

One reason I’m posting this is that it goes to show that even if you do marry (if you’re a single adult who’d like to marry), it’s still no guarantee that being married with children is a permanent passport to Happiness.

A lot of Christians (especially the Nuclear Family obsessed) and to a degree, Hollywood (at least until the last few years), have been conveying this message for years and years that you can only obtain happiness, purpose, meaning or identity if you marry (and have children).

But what if you marry, and your spouse turns out to be abusive, self absorbed, or he or she develops cancer, dementia, or dies in a car accident or by some other means?

I had wanted to be married (I’ve pretty much made peace with being single in the meantime), but then I see news stories like this, and I wouldn’t want to be in this woman’s place, of having to navigate the deaths of a spouse and children, and now she has to parent the one remaining child by herself.

You can get married but then have it taken away in the blink of an eye by a car accident, house fire, heart attack, or god knows what else. This doesn’t mean that I’m anti-marriage, but I do want to keep a realistic perspective of it.

Aw, I see in the news story that two family pets (dogs) also died because of this fire – usually animals and people die from smoke inhalation, or they pass out from that, so they’re not alive to feel the flames, at least.

At any rate, this woman managed to get married, but now her husband and some children are gone, due to this house fire. She is single again.

(Link): Christmas Morning House Fire Leaves Father and Two Children Dead, Wife and Oldest Child Injured

The mother and oldest child were able to escape the flames
By Andrew Mark Miller | Fox News
Dec 25, 2021

A Dad and two of his sons have died after a house fire tore through their home on Christmas morning.

Authorities say the fire started at the home of the King family at 1:22 am Saturday in Quakertown, Pennsylvania and killed Eric King and his two young sons, Liam and Patrick, according to Fox 29 Philadelphia.

Eric King’s wife Kristin and the couple’s oldest son Brady were able to escape the flames while the rest of the family was trapped inside.

Continue reading “Christmas Morning House Fire Leaves Father and Two Children Dead, Wife and Oldest Child Injured”

Four in 10 Adults Between the Ages of 25 and 54 are Single, Up From 29% in 1990

Four in 10 Adults Between the Ages of 25 and 54 are Single, Up From 29% in 1990

(Link): Four in 10 Adults Between the Ages of 25 and 54 are Single, Up From 29% in 1990

by Sarah Todd
Nov. 9, 2021

The frustrations that single people encounter in a largely coupled-up world are well established. Less well-known—but just as pervasive—are the challenges faced by single people at the office.

The expectation that single people clock longer hours than their paired-up counterparts is one common complaint. “Lots of people I interviewed complained that their managers presumed they had extra time to stay at the office or take on extra projects because they don’t have family at home,” Eric Klinenberg, author of the 2013 book Going Solotold The Atlantic last month.

And in some cases, being single can affect a person’s job prospects.

Continue reading “Four in 10 Adults Between the Ages of 25 and 54 are Single, Up From 29% in 1990”

I’m 22 and Stuck in the Body of an 8 Year Old – Only Creeps Want to Date Me By Katherine Gannon

I’m 22 and Stuck in the Body of an 8 Year Old – Only Creeps Want to Date Me By Katherine Gannon

(Link): I’m 22  and Stuck in the Body of an 8 Year Old – Only Creeps Want to Date Me By Katherine Gannon

One 22-year-old woman has spoken out about the struggles she faces after a rare disease has left her stuck in the body of an eight-year-old girl for life.

Shauna Rae developed a rare form of brain cancer when she was just six months old and underwent chemotherapy that stunted her growth.

Shauna now stands at three-foot 10, the average height of an eight-year-old girl.

In her TLC documentary “I am Shauna Rae” she reveals the difficulties associated with her youthful appearance including finding it hard to date, and going to bars, as everyone thinks she is a child.

Continue reading “I’m 22 and Stuck in the Body of an 8 Year Old – Only Creeps Want to Date Me By Katherine Gannon”

31% of Americans Experience Loneliness Daily; 1 in 5 Practicing Christians Say the Same: Study – article by Leonardo Blair

31% of Americans Experience Loneliness Daily; 1 in 5 Practicing Christians Say the Same: Study – article by Leonardo Blair

The church should act as friends and family to all – but do most churches do this? No.

Most Christians expect that you run out, marry, create your own nuclear family and get most to all companionship via that marriage/family.

Those Christians and the rest then sit around on social media, podcasts, and blogs complaining and shaming anyone who doesn’t marry or have children.

They choose to complain about an issue rather than look for or implement solutions, or minister to people who cannot, or do not, ever marry, have children of their own, or have a nuclear family.

I have more commentary below this excerpt:

(Link): 31% of Americans experience loneliness daily; 1 in 5 practicing Christians say the same: study

by Leonardo Blair

Loneliness is being experienced by 31% of U.S. adults daily and Christians aren’t doing much better, new research from the Barna Group suggests.

Data for the research done in partnership with behavioral scientist Susan Mettes and the evangelical polling firm Barna was collected through online surveys from 1,003 U.S. adults from Feb. 18 to March 2, 2020, and 1,000 U.S. adults from April 28 to May 5, 2020.

Continue reading “31% of Americans Experience Loneliness Daily; 1 in 5 Practicing Christians Say the Same: Study – article by Leonardo Blair”

Her Married Boyfriend of Five Years Won’t Divorce His Ex Unless She Pays For It

Her Married Boyfriend of Five Years Won’t Divorce His Ex Unless She Pays For It

This lady says she’s been dating a married guy for five years, he won’t divorce his ex wife unless she pays for it, so she writes in to an advice columnist to ask if it’s okay for her to be angry about the situation.

This is wrong on like 54 different levels.

How about not dating someone who is still legally married?

How about ceasing and desisting with the codependency, getting a spine, some self esteem, and realizing you should not be a doormat to this putz any longer, and dumping him pronto? Why are you writing to an advice columnist to figure out what to do, you’re an adult.

Did being married make the guy described in this letter a more responsible, ethical, loving person? No, no it did not. So the Christian Al Mohlers and conservative marriage-pushers (like Brad Wilcox) can stop promoting that view about marriage.

Some people have dating criteria that is too strict; the woman who wrote this letter appears to have next to none!

(Link): My boyfriend refuses to divorce his ex unless I pay for it. Is this relationship worth saving?

Is “this relationship worth saving?” Lady, you never had a relationship to start with.

The letter:

by Morgan Absher
USA TODAY
Dec 6, 2021

Question:
“I am a 39-year-old female and my boyfriend is a 33-year-old male.

We have been together for five years.

There are a few things I can’t handle and have voiced my opinion on, but I get called crazy or just get ignored. Communication for us has been minimal for the past two years or so.

He is still married to his ex. While he has promised a divorce, he refuses to get one now unless I pay for it.

Continue reading “Her Married Boyfriend of Five Years Won’t Divorce His Ex Unless She Pays For It”

The Best Cities For Single Adults in 2021: Report

The Best Cities For Single Adults in 2021: Report

(Link): The Best Cities For Single Adults in 2021: Report

Madison, Wisconsin, was at the top of WalletHub’s list

By Ann Schmidt

If you’re single, you might want to consider relocating to Madison, Wisconsin.

That’s according to a recent report from WalletHub, which found the best cities for singles. Madison was at the top of the list.

Continue reading “The Best Cities For Single Adults in 2021: Report”

Rebuttal to, Or Observations About, the Kerwin Holmes Jr. Editorial “On Finding ‘The One:’ Another Correction on Christian Teaching Concerning Romance”

Rebuttal to, Or Observations About, the Kerwin Holmes Jr. Editorial “On Finding ‘The One:’ Another Correction on Christian Teaching Concerning Romance”

The following post has been edited after publication to fix typing mistakes or to add more commentary.


I will be commenting on this editorial about singleness and marriage on The Christian Post:

(Link): On finding ‘the one:’ Another correction on Christian teaching concerning romance by Kerwin Holmes Jr

That post as linked to on The Christian Post’s Facebook page:

(Link): On Finding The One – post on Facebook Page

This guy’s editorial is written in an odd way, so I’m having to go back and re-read it to just to try and comprehend some of the points he’s making.

Maybe I am totally wrong about this, but my impression is that Holmes is either in his 20s at this time, or in his 30s.
(Wait until he’s in his 40s or older and STILL single.  If Holmes still has not married by age 40 or older, his views on these matters will likely shift in time, thanks to good old life experience.) kermitTyping

Also distracting: his first name, Kerwin, reminds me of Kermit the Frog, so I unintentionally keep visualizing Kermit sitting at a keyboard typing this editorial I am reading. (That is not intended to be an ad hominem, just a random aside.)

At the beginning of Holmes’ editorial, he tells readers to view or read dating advice articles or videos by Christian pastors or personalities that he agrees with, such as the works by Reformed pastors or personalities in general and Voddie Baucham in particular .

Let me stop him right there.

I spent years following Christian dating advice (stuff I read or heard in the 1980s and 1990s, advice by and from standard, run- of- the- mill conservative Baptist or evangelical Christians), and none of that smelly, stupid advice ever actually helped me to marry, though I had wanted to be married for many years (I am currently in my 50s and still single). 

As a matter of fact, a lot of Christian dating advice, even the advice by conservative Christians, is counter-productive and actually plays a role in keeping single adults single (this includes, and is not limited to, the “be equally yoked” rule).

Continue reading “Rebuttal to, Or Observations About, the Kerwin Holmes Jr. Editorial “On Finding ‘The One:’ Another Correction on Christian Teaching Concerning Romance””