Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes

Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes

Someone on Twitter, a @ExposingMammon, sent a link of this video to me on Twitter, so thank you to her. 

It’s a rather long video. I’ve so far only listened to about the first one fourth of it and would like to listen to it at a later date. For the the part I’ve listened to, it’s got some okay content.

(Link): Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes


Related Posts:

(Link): The Grief, Happiness, and Hope of Late-in-Life Singleness by H. Ferguson (she married for first time at age 58)

(Link):   True Love Waits . . . and Waits . . . and Waits – editorial about delayed marriage and related issues

Continue reading “Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes”

Relationships Don’t Work If Salaries Don’t Match by Tyler Schmall

Relationships Don’t Work If Salaries Don’t Match by Tyler Schmall

(Link): Relationships Don’t Work If Salaries Don’t Match

Excerpts:

Before getting serious with a new partner, you may want to check their paystubs.

According to new research, relationships are incompatible if there’s a $36,000 disparity in salary.

The fascinating new statistic emerged in a new study of 2,000 single Americans examining all things dating including the role finances play when entering into a new relationship.

Respondents were asked to assess where they feel a disparity in income actually leads to incompatibility. A nearly $40,000 difference in earnings was named as the point at which such a difference in earning becomes problematic while dating.

Continue reading “Relationships Don’t Work If Salaries Don’t Match by Tyler Schmall”

What Advent Waiting Means for Singles by B. DeWitt

What Advent Waiting Means for Singles by B. DeWitt

Article on Christianity Today (I have some thoughts below these excerpts):

(Link): What Advent Waiting Means for Singles by B. DeWitt

Excerpts:

Scripture is filled with stories of people who waited. Hannah waited for an unspecified number of years before having her son Samuel.

The Israelites waited 70 years in exile before being allowed to return to their homeland. The Jewish people waited hundreds of years for the promised Messiah.

…Some waiting, however, is indefinite.

In my own life, indefinite waiting has come in the form of singleness.

For years I’ve prayed to meet a godly man, not only because I desire the kind of love and companionship that marriage brings, but also because I’ve seen how good marriages can make each spouse better able to love, serve, and glorify God.

Continue reading “What Advent Waiting Means for Singles by B. DeWitt”

Why I’d Rather Die Alone Than Date Online by B. Hallberg

Why I’d Rather Die Alone Than Date Online by B. Hallberg

The woman who wrote this is encouraging singles to give up with online dating.

(Link): Why I’d Rather Die Alone Than Date Online by B. Hallberg

I will copy excerpts from that article in below, but I first wanted to say a few things:

I’m kind of cautiously in favor of online dating myself. I’m not going to sit here at this point and tell anyone and every one to totally stay away from it.

I said cautiously – because there are in fact weirdos and criminals on dating sites, just like anywhere else, and, there is no guarantee you’re going to meet a great guy on those sites, even if you don’t run into any weirdos or serial killers.

So, I’m not against dating sites and apps per se, but I am very much against the attitude (held by a lot of already-married people), that if you’re single and want a mate, you will definitely get a mate via a site – well, no, that’s not how it works.

I was a member of two or three dating sites for several months, and I never got matches, or not matches that I was interested in meeting.

Continue reading “Why I’d Rather Die Alone Than Date Online by B. Hallberg”

The One Thing You’re Doing Wrong in Dating, According to The Founder of An Elite Dating App

The One Thing You’re Doing Wrong in Dating, According to The Founder of An Elite Dating App

(Link): The one thing you’re doing wrong in dating, according to the founder of an elite dating app

….According to a dating expert, there’s one main thing many of us are doing wrong in our quest to find love: writing a potential suitor off after just one date.

Thanks to romantic novels and rom-coms, lots of people expect to be swept off their feet or feel love at first sight on a first date. If they don’t, they don’t bother pursuing things with that person.

But this is largely unrealistic, and expecting there to be fireworks from the start is where many singletons are going wrong.

Continue reading “The One Thing You’re Doing Wrong in Dating, According to The Founder of An Elite Dating App”

Unmarried and Undaunted by G. Dalfonzo

Unmarried and Undaunted by G. Dalfonzo

I am not a member of this site, so I cannot access the full article.

My one criticism of this, from what I’ve seen of this little portion, is that it seems to spiritualize singleness.

Spiritualizing it in this manner might possibly bring more respect to adult singles from a Christian marriage-worshipping, Christian marriage-obsessed culture, but for those Christians over the age of 40 who had hoped to marry, this spiritualizing of singleness, to make it sound spiritually noble, is white-washing things.

(Link): Unmarried and Undaunted

Excerpt, from their free article preview:

How singleness can inspire faithful service and hope for the Resurrection.

Christina Hitchcock always assumed she would get married one day. But as years went by and it didn’t happen, she found herself trying to piece together a vision of life without marriage.

Even though she’s now married, Hitchcock, who teaches theology at the University of Sioux Falls in South Dakota, wrote The Significance of Singleness: A Theological Vision for the Future of the Church to show how singleness is a valuable way of life that points us to true fulfillment in Christ.

CT features editor Gina Dalfonzo spoke with Hitchcock about cultivating a renewed understanding of singleness for the whole church.

Why is the vision provided by singleness so important for the church?

Paul’s endorsement of singleness in 1 Corinthians 7 isn’t merely about having more missionaries, more martyrs, or more people with more time for the church. Singleness has theological significance because it tells us something important about who God is and what God is doing.

Continue reading “Unmarried and Undaunted by G. Dalfonzo”

Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? America is in a Sex Recession – by K. Jullian

Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? America is in a Sex Recession –  by K. Jullian – via The Atlantic

(Link): Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? America is in a Sex Recession – via The Atlantic

These should be boom times for sex.

The share of Americans who say sex between unmarried adults is “not wrong at all” is at an all-time high. New cases of HIV are at an all-time low. Most women can—at last—get birth control for free, and the morning-after pill without a prescription.

If hookups are your thing, Grindr and Tinder offer the prospect of casual sex within the hour. The phrase If something exists, there is porn of it used to be a clever internet meme; now it’s a truism.

BDSM plays at the local multiplex—but why bother going? Sex is portrayed, often graphically and sometimes gorgeously, on prime-time cable. Sexting is, statistically speaking, normal.

…But despite all this, American teenagers and young adults are having less sex.

To the relief of many parents, educators, and clergy members who care about the health and well-being of young people, (Link):teens are launching their sex lives later 

…Over the past few years, Jean M. Twenge, a psychology professor at San Diego State University, has published research exploring how and why Americans’ sex lives may be ebbing.

Continue reading “Why Are Young People Having So Little Sex? America is in a Sex Recession – by K. Jullian”

Singlism: How Serious Is It, Really? by B. DePaulo

Singlism: How Serious Is It, Really? by B. DePaulo

(Link): Singlism: How Serious Is It, Really?

Excerpts:

….This time, the person [arguing with DePaulo] argued that singlism — stereotyping, stigmatizing, and discrimination against people who are single — does not even exist.

A different version of the objection concedes that there are ways in which single people are viewed and treated more negatively than married people, but insists that those instances are so inconsequential that they should simply be ignored.

After all, there are other “isms” that are far more serious than singlism.

Singlism can be financially devastating.

In part because of laws, policies, and practices that favor married people and couples over single people, the costs of living single can be staggering.

For example, married people, with all their opportunities to draw from their spouse’s benefits, can get far more out of Social Security than single people do. Housing costs, health costs, and taxes are higher for single people.

Continue reading “Singlism: How Serious Is It, Really? by B. DePaulo”

Pop Singer Kylie Minogue, 50, is Surprised She’s Found Love Again

Pop Singer Kylie Minogue, 50, is Surprised She’s Found Love Again

Kylie Minogue is a pop and dance singer who’s had a lot of hit songs since the 1980s.

If you don’t know who she is, here are links to some of her hit songs on You Tube:

(Link):  Can’t Get You Out Of My Head

(Link): Come Into My World

I’ve done blog posts before with examples with celebrities who explain that in spite of all their money, good looks and fame, they remain single though they’d like to be married.

(Link): Pop Singer Kylie Minogue, 50, is Surprised She’s Found Love Again

She is in the throes of a passionate romance with her boyfriend Paul Solomons.

And Kylie Minogue confessed she was surprised to find love again during a cosy chat on the Jonathan Ross show after the end of her relationship with ex Joshua Sasse.

The I Should Be So Lucky hitmaker, 50, enthused her new love is ‘fabulous’ and ‘great’ as the six-month romance continues to flourish.

Continue reading “Pop Singer Kylie Minogue, 50, is Surprised She’s Found Love Again”

Watching a Movie is Best as a Solitary Experience, Which is Something that We Just Need to Admit to Ourselves By Hayley Schueneman

Watching a Movie is Best as a Solitary Experience, Which is Something that We Just Need to Admit to Ourselves By Hayley Schueneman

Well, this is a switch. I usually see articles by single adults saying how uncomfortable they feel dining publicly alone, or going to the movie theater alone.

I don’t go to the movies myself that much anymore – maybe once or twice a year, sometimes zero times a year – but it’s not so bad. People don’t seem to notice or care if you’re there by yourself.

The first few times I went solo to a movie, I felt weird, but after you’ve done it over a period of years, you get so used to it, it doesn’t feel weird.

Continue reading “Watching a Movie is Best as a Solitary Experience, Which is Something that We Just Need to Admit to Ourselves By Hayley Schueneman”

Never Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers to Send Him A Wife

Never-Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers To Send Him A Wife

On the November 2, 2018 episode of “The 700 Club,” some guy named Stephen wrote in with a question about singleness and marriage, and host Gordon Robertson answered it.

You can find the question on You Tube (Link) here, and that part of the show is in the last 5 – 10 minutes of the show. You can also watch that same episode on (Link): The 700 Club web site.

I will discuss the letter from Stephen more below.

First, I wanted to say…
Within the past 2 – 3 weeks, 700 Club has been running more than their usual number of questions from viewers about singleness and asking why hasn’t God sent them a spouse, such as this one:

(Link): James the 40 Something Year Old Single Guy Asks Why Don’t Churches Help Single Adults Get Married

I have watched this 700 Club show daily since around 2005, and sporadically prior to that, for years (my mother used to watch this show when I was a kid in the 1970s, so I’ve seen plenty of it).

Well, in most episodes, 700 Club rarely, rarely addresses adult singleness. They mostly feature married couples who are having affairs or financial problems.

They rarely address singleness, unless they have a 30- or 40 -something female co-host who is single.

Continue reading “Never Married Adult Man Named Stephen Asks Christian Host Why God Has Not Answered His 3-Decades Long Prayers to Send Him A Wife”

James the Single 40-Something Guy Asks The 700 Club’s Pat Robertson Why Churches Don’t Help Singles Get Married

James the Single 40-Something Guy Asks 700 Club’s Pat Robertson Why Churches Don’t Help Singles

On an October 31, 2018 airing of television program “700 Club,” host Pat Robertson responded to a question from a 48 year old guy named James who says he is single and wants to know why churches don’t do anything to help single adults get married, because (he seemed to imply), they sure as heck are not helping him.

As of today, I do not see the October 31, 2018 “Questions” section of the show on 700 Club’s You Tube channel.

As of this writing, though, you can view the “Questions” portion (which comes during the last ten minutes of the show) on the full episode (Link): here on You Tube.

You might also be able to view the Questions segment (in the full length show) on the (Link): 700 Club site here.

The gist of James’ letter was – he says he’s 48 years old, single (he did not specify if he is divorced, widowed, or never-married), the Bible says it’s better to marry than burn in lust, but what if there are no options (like in his case – I think he meant there are no single women in his life or church), and the church isn’t doing anything to help a Christian single get married?

Continue reading “James the Single 40-Something Guy Asks The 700 Club’s Pat Robertson Why Churches Don’t Help Singles Get Married”

Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

Before I get to the link to the news article about more young people choosing to stay single:

I’d just like to remind anyone out there that not all singles are single by choice. Some singles, like me, had expected and hoped to marry, but we’re still single due to circumstances.

I have to mention this because many conservatives and conservative Christians love to go into shaming mode and criticize adult singles for never marrying.

They especially like to insult, shame, and guilt trip Christian singles; they assume quite incorrectly that all adult singles intentionally chose to avoid marriage.

Many Southern Baptists, for example, like to incorrectly assume that all single females over age 30 chose career over marriage and shame us for being single. In fact, many of us had wanted to be married and did not place career over marriage.

I don’t have an issue with singles who do choose to remain single, however.

They should not be shamed for their choice.

I’m just saying I get sick and tired of Christians, such as Southern Baptist Al Mohler and Christians such as Bradford Wilcox and socialist Mark Regnerus seeing news items like the following, and wrongly assuming that ALL singles remain single by choice.

Al Mohler, other Christians, and secular, conservative think tanks shame and scold singles for not marrying, because they have this incorrect understanding of the Bible that the Bible says God prefers or wants all adults to marry, or, they wrongly believe that the Bible says that marriage “fixes” culture (the Bible does not teach anything like this, but actually says, per 1 Cor 7, that it is better to remain single).

Singles-shaming conservatives also love to write and publish and repeat bogus  studies that claim things like being single is far worse than being married, singles die younger than married people, married people supposedly have better health than singles (they do not), and so on – Bella dePaulo debunks (Link): a lot of those claims on her blog.

(Link): Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

October 10, 2018

By Christian Gollayan

Millennials are ditching relationships and embracing singledom, according to a new survey.

Tinder and consulting firm Morar HPI surveyed 1,000 singles between 18 to 25 years old and found that 72 percent “have made a conscious decision” to stay single.

“Solo status gives young adults a sense of adventure, independence and empowerment,” the dating app said. “An overwhelming majority of young adults agree that being single benefits them beyond their romantic lives.” Continue reading “Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single”

Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized By Ella Hickey

Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized By Ella Hickey

I’ve noted in older posts how terrible Christian advice on the subjects of dating, marriage, and relationships are – if you’d like to see my posts on those subjects, some of them are linked to below, at the bottom of this post under the “Related Posts” section.

By the way, I would ask you to click on this link below to go to the page and read it, but, be sure to scroll to the bottom of the page to read any posts by single adults who leave comments, including one comment by a 60 year old lady with the screen name “janep75_2173,” who has been divorced for 20+ years, on how badly her local church treats her for being single.

(Link): Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized

What’s missing from Christian books on dating, singleness, and purity

Excerpts:

…. [The author discusses having read numerous Christian books about dating, marriage, and relationships when she was a teen-ager]

….Our theology of singleness and the “not-yet-married” has gone unmonitored, unchanged, and unimpressive for too long. Much of it is built on outdated gender roles and unhelpful clichés that don’t apply easily to today’s dating world.

For example, many of these books assume that sexual attraction is the “burden” of men and not something women struggle with.

Or, many of these books assume that men will lead a dating relationship and women will follow. Others encourage men and women to avoid and fear each other to avoid “stumbling.”

Continue reading “Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized By Ella Hickey”

Wealthy Women Can Afford to Reject Marriage, But Poor Women Cannot by E. Green

Wealthy Women Can Afford to Reject Marriage, But Poor Women Cannot by E. Green

(Link): Wealthy Women Can Afford to Reject Marriage, But Poor Women Cannot by E. Green

Excerpt:

Higher-income “single ladies” often push back against “patriarchy.” But the statistics don’t lie: Low-income, unmarried women face significant economic challenges when they stay single.


In a Wall Street Journal editorial this week, Bush administration press secretary Ari Fleischer wrote that “‘marriage inequality’ should be at the center of any discussion of why some Americans prosper and others don’t.” He cited statistics about the vast income disparities between single women and married women, regardless of race, and argued that these gaps would shrink if women stayed in school and waited until marriage to have kids.

At an Atlantic summit on female poverty on Wednesday, the women in the room would have none of that.

Continue reading “Wealthy Women Can Afford to Reject Marriage, But Poor Women Cannot by E. Green”

‘It Was Like Marriage, Only Better’ Said the Single Mothers Who Moved In Together

‘It Was Like Marriage, Only Better’ Said the Single Mothers Who Moved In Together

(Link): ‘It Was Like Marriage, Only Better” Said the Single Mothers Who Moved In Together

Excerpts:

After their relationships broke down, Jane Hoggarth and two other mothers decided to get together and create a ‘mommune’

…And so, more by accident than design, the women hit on a new domestic set-up: the “mommune”, as it is termed in America.

And for the next two years, the three of them and their six children shared their lives: Vicky in the spare room, Nicola a weekend resident and daily visitor. “We were a family,” Janet says. “We went to the supermarket together, cooked together, ate together, shared childcare. Our parents met.” The children, she adds, “became like siblings”.

Continue reading “‘It Was Like Marriage, Only Better’ Said the Single Mothers Who Moved In Together”

The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener

The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener

In my few years of writing on this blog, I am still sometimes amazed at the comments I get, especially the remarks I get from the most innocuous of posts.

Never would I have imagined that linking to some article about a 105 year old woman who says she is happy and still alive at 105 because she has never bothered with men would induce someone to come on to my blog to leave me nasty and presumptive comments, but that is what happened.

This married woman named Gladys Wisener stopped by this blog recently, and she engaged in some singles-shaming under (Link): that post about a 105 year old single woman.

When Gladys began saying or assuming some weird, offensive, negative, or insulting things about me, and I understandably got irate and offended in response to her attitude and comments, and I let her know, she replies by telling me I sound “bitter.”

Because that’s what entitled married cows such as her do – they assume if you have a legitimate complaint against their obnoxious- married- people- attitudes and- presumptive- assumptions about you, they assume it can only come from a place of… wait for it… yes, that’s right, it must be due to bitterness.

And the unspoken assumption is that you, you single woman, must be bitter because you’re single and don’t have a husband.

In their thinking, bitterness could be the only possible reason you are correcting a married woman on your blog about singleness for being obnoxious.

Your anger cannot possibly be due to the married person’s hideous, insulting comments to you or about you or about singleness, no, it must be because you are not married!

If only you were married or in a steady relationship, you would not take umbrage at the married person’s condescending comments about you or your blog – married or engaged people would love to be on the receiving end of your lousy assumptions and comments and take them so well.

Continue reading “The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener”

How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days

How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days

(Link): How one man has broken up 4,000 relationships and caused 17 divorces – in just 10 days

And the number is still rising…

by Nicola Oakley

Sitting down to watch Netflix on a Saturday night is something many people do with their other half.

If so, you might want to steer clear of Daniel Sloss’ show – as it might lead to bit of an awkward moment or, worse still, the demise of your relationship.

The Scottish comedian says a 20-minute joke in one of his shows has been responsible for more than 4,000 break-ups.

His live stand-up routines have been streaming on Netflix since September 11 – yes, it only became available to view 10 days ago.

In his show Jigsaw, the 28-year-old, from Fife, rubbishes the notion that everyone has a soulmate, saying the message society puts out is: “If you are not with someone, you are broken. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. If you are not with someone, you are not whole.”

As a result, we are made to feel as though we need a partner to feel complete – meaning many settle and end up with the wrong person.

Continue reading “How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days”

They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

(Link): They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together

by Jamie Rogers

September 2018

Journey to Purity creates a community for minority women abstaining from sex

Shunning premarital sex may seem old-fashioned to some, but Erica Willams says nowadays celibacy is somewhat of a movement, especially among some minority women.

Williams, 30, is the founder of Journey to Purity, a nonprofit in Virginia that aims to promote celibacy in women through education and community building efforts.

The Journey to Purity Meetup group has 102 members, and is limited to women. Williams says the majority of the women are black or Latina.
For these women, celibacy is a conscience and often faith-driven choice.

Continue reading “They Are Single And Celibate. This Facebook Group Brings Them Together”

How Sex Robots Could Revolutionize Marriage—for the Better by M. Adshade

(Link):  How Sex Robots Could Revolutionize Marriage—for the Better

Excerpts

Some elements of that social change might be easier to anticipate than others. For example, the share of the young adult population that chooses to remain single (with their sexual needs met by robots) is very likely to increase.

Because social change is organic, however, adaptations in other social norms and behaviors are much more difficult to predict. But this is not virgin territory.

New technologies completely transformed sexual behavior and marital norms over the second half of the 20th century. Although getting any of these predictions right will surely involve some luck, we have decades of technology-induced social change to guide our predictions about the future of a world confronted with wholesale access to sexbots.

Continue reading “How Sex Robots Could Revolutionize Marriage—for the Better by M. Adshade”