Don’t Settle for Crumbs: Hope for Christian Singles
New York City Woman Turns 107: ‘The Secret’ Is ‘I Never Got Married’
Louise Signore celebrated her birthday on Wednesday and credited her long life to staying single
August 1, 2019
A New York City woman celebrating more than a century of life has some advice for other women looking to someday do the same: Don’t become a bride!
“I think the secret of 107 [is] I never got married. I think that’s the secret,” Louise Signore told WCBS with a laugh. “My sister says, ‘I wish I never got married!’ ”
Thoughts Regarding ‘Both Purity Culture and Hook-Up Culture Failed Me’ by A. Murrish
First, here is a link to the page I will be discussing:
I don’t care for this editorial.
For one thing it sort of spiritualizes the status of singleness, which is grating to any adult over the age of 35, who had hoped to marry, but is still single.
Next, the author points to the church as a solution for singles.
She is essentially telling marriage-desiring singles to lose themselves in church, to find belonging in church groups.
The problem with this is that for many never-married adults (and some divorced and widowed) over the age of 30, most churches either ignore adult singles, or they insult adult singles, because they are too preoccupied with promoting marriage and catering to the needs of married couples.
Letter to Advice Columnist: ‘I’m A Virgin Age 55 and I Worry My Life is Wasted’
I’m less perturbed by this guy’s homosexual orientation and more by his ageism. What is it with older men (LGBT or hetero) who insist on only boinking or dating and marrying much younger people?
And by the way: it’s a sad, sad misunderstanding and misconception by a lot of people that all people (or most) who are virgins or never-married by the age of 30 or 40 are all LGBT. That is not true! I too am a never married adult, am still a virgin, yet I am a hetero. I am NOT LGBT.
by C. Nolan
Growing up in a small village community, I never felt comfortable declaring how I felt and only two or three people know the truth about me
I’m a 55-year-old gay man and I’ve known about my sexuality since my teens, but I’ve never had any sexual experiences or relationships with anyone.
I’m still a virgin and I keep my sexuality a closely guarded secret.
Study Says More American Couples Meet Online and in Bars Now than Through Family, Friends (2019)
I think it’s sad, frustrating, and unfortunate for Christian singles who’d like to marry that so many churches and Christians do NOT want to take practical steps to help marriage-desiring singles to get married.
And as this study shows, when that happens, when friends, family, and church community refuse to get involved, people use bars and dating sites.
I don’t understand the Christians who promote the “Equally Yoked” rule and yet won’t help Christian singles who’d like to marry – if you’re an “Equally Yoked” advocate (I am not one), wouldn’t you want to ensure that your Christian single friend marries another Christian, rather than take her chances and dates Non-Christians she meets on dating sites and at night clubs?
Meeting online is trending upward, and fewer and fewer people are meeting at work, school, or through friends or family.
What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway
The following article (book review) from Christianity Today covers several topics about singleness and the church I’ve been pointing out on this blog for literally years now.
One big point it brings up that I have: there are more single Christian women in the church than there are single Christian men. This means if a Christian single female insists upon following the “equally yoked” rule (that states a Christian may only marry another Christian), she will remain single.
If you are a single Christian woman who desires marriage, it is imperative you ditch the ‘equally yoked’ rule. You must learn to judge men based on their character, not what their stated religious beliefs are.
New survey research sheds light on how believers navigate the stickier matters of dating and marriage.
July 10, 2019
Over the years, Christians have produced and read far more books on how relationships and singleness should work than on how these things actuallydo pan out. Vicky Walker’s new book Relatable: Exploring God, Love, & Connection in the Age of Choice, based on a survey of more than 1,400 people, aims to change that.
Walker writes from a more-or-less Protestant British perspective, but American Christians will find much they recognize.
Over the course of 12 chapters and several appendices, Relatable covers everything from the history of marriage to typical teachings on gender roles to, of course, sex. But she also gets into stickier matters like the role of technology and the church’s significant sex-ratio gap—the latter a topic that raises questions of dating outside the faith.
Missing Tinder Date Woman Found Cut Into 14 Pieces, As Murder Suspect Blames ‘Rough Consensual Sex’ – by S. Lock
A WOMAN who was murdered and found dumped in garbage bags after failing to return home from a Tinder date was cut up into 14 pieces, a court has heard.
Sydney Loofe, 24, was savagely murdered and dismembered before she was found dead and dumped in a field in December 2017 near Edgar, south-west of Omaha, about a month after she disappeared.
Aubrey Trail, 52, and his girlfriend Bailey Boswell, 25, have been chargedwith her murder.
People Using Tinder and Other Dating Apps Are ‘More Likely to Develop Eating Disorders, Take Laxatives or Use Steroids’ To Get Bodies Like ‘Unrealistic’ Celebrities
People who use dating apps such as Tinder may be up to 27 times as likely to use drastic or unhealthy techniques to try and stay slim.
Deliberately vomiting, taking laxatives and even using anabolic steroids is more common among dating app users, a study found.
Researchers found ‘unrealistic’ desires to look like celebrities on television and social media are driving people to damaging behaviour.
It’s Not Too Late, And You’re Not Too Old
I saw a Tweet by a lady the other day who said she is in her late 50s, that she would very much like to be in a serious relationship (she’s tired of being single, I think), and she was feeling discouraged because her friends are telling her that she is ‘too old to have a serious relationship at her age.’
No, she isn’t, and no, it’s not.
First of all, may I suggest that if you are constantly surrounded by recurrently negative friends and family, and ones who complain a lot and are fault-finders, who do things like talk negatively about your hopes, dreams, and goals, who tell you that your dreams will never come to pass, that you begin by limiting your time with these people?
Research has shown that it’s better for your mental health and increases your chances of success at whatever your goal is if you more often than not surround yourself with regularly positive people, and ones who support you and your goals.
If you are someone going through a difficult time right now, whatever your situation is, it’s not true that “you are too old” or “it’s too late” for your goal or dream in life.
This is for you.
(Link): Don’t Give Up On Your Dream
What Happened When Chonda Pierce Tried Online Dating
Pierce is a Christian stand-up comic.
There is an embedded audio file on the web page I am linking you to:
When it comes to comedy and faith, Chonda Pierce is unashamed.
Her bold, tell-it-like-it-is style has audiences begging her for more stories, and she delivers in the new documentary, Unashamed, in theaters May 7 and 9.
“It’s interesting, my life right now,” Pierce shares in a new interview. “I have my third documentary, and I’m still alive. You know, usually they do documentaries for dead people.”
Dating App Horrors: The Untold Story | A&E
The A&E channel is airing a program about people (mostly women) who have been raped, robbed, or murdered by men they met for dates via dating sites.
From what I gather so far about this program, the show is high lighting that dating sites are not legally responsible for your safety, nor do they care to be, and there are all sorts of crazies and violent people using these dating sites.
By the way, one of the serial rapists mentioned on this show was a married man – so much for the conservative think tank and Christian propaganda that marriage makes people “better” or more responsible and ethical.
(Link): Dating App Horrors – About
(Link): Match.com predator stabbed a woman who dumped him after they dated for just 10 days then drew up a ‘kill list’ and murdered another girlfriend he met online: TV show explores the dark side of finding love on an app
-After Mary Kay Beckman’s partner died, she decided to go on Match.com
-Through the site, she met Wade Ridley and they went on a few dates in 2010
-After 10 days, she decided to stop seeing Ridley and moved on
-In January 2011, Ridley attacked her, stabbed her 10 times and left her for dead
-In February 2011, Ridley murdered Anne Simenson, another woman he met on a dating app
-Beckman’s story is part of an upcoming episode, ‘Dating App Horrors: The Untold Story’
by Stephanie Nolasco
Kelly couldn’t have predicted that a clean-cut, charismatic suitor she met on a dating app was a serial rapist living a double life.
Problems With the Article ‘Tony Evans warns Satan attacking biblical manhood; society on ‘precipice’ of disaster’
Evans told CP that until manhood is properly defined, culture cannot be saved.
I am a (Link): former gender complementarian, so I understand the outlook of a Tony Evans and guys like him, and many of the assumptions that are made about culture and gender roles, but these are views that I no longer share.
Gender Role malarky aside, one of my biggest problems with the views of Tony Evans brought forth in this article is that he is of the mindset -like many Christians are- that culture can or should be saved.
He further thinks that teaching Christian gender roles is the way to go about it.
As I’ve stated many times previously in other posts, the Bible says that Jesus Christ alone saves, and he saves on the individual level.
He doesn’t save groups or cultures.
Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019
The following piece at The Atlantic (“The Happiness Recession”) was written by marriage-idolater and anti-singleness bigot of The Institute for Family Studies, W. Bradford Wilcox, and co-writer Lyman Stone.
I’d like to remind any new-comers to this blog that I am a life long conservative. I am not a liberal.
Marriage Is Not A Guarantee For Good or Regular Sex
This moronic essay actually suggests that single adults having less sex is what has led to them reporting higher rates of unhappiness, if I’m understanding things correctly.
This, astonishingly, from a right wing organization, (Link): The Institute For Family Studies, that claims to promote “strong families,” and good Lord knows they are obsessed with promoting marriage, even if that comes at the expense of singleness.
The members of this organization regularly publish materials intended to scare, guilt, shame, or pressure single adults into getting married, because this organization exists to promote the nuclear family: hetero-marriage where the couple have children.
Another Christianity Today Magazine Editorial (2019) Expects Single Women To Meet the Needs of Married Women – Christians Never Ask the Reverse
I am a never-married woman who is over the age of 45, and I am childless. I had wanted to be married but never found the right guy, so I remain single.
I was a very devout Christian for many years, until a few years ago.
I did a blog post about (Link): another editorial on Christianity Today’s site, where a married woman with small children wrote a long piece extolling the virtues of single, childless women:
but only in the context of how she found single, childless women useful to her because they could provide her with free babysitting services that she could not obtain from her biological family, who lived 1,000 miles away.
Here again, in April 2019, is another editorial in the same vein: a piece that extols the wonders and virtues of how single, childless women can or should meet the needs of married women, especially married ones who have children and need free babysitting services and emotional support.
Now, if you’re the sort of single, childless woman who sincerely enjoys babysitting married women’s children, that is fine by me. But I am not one of them.
I’m not opposed to single, childless women caring for, or taking an interest in, other people’s children, if they so desire.
I am opposed to this when this is one of the only options presented to Christian women, however.
In Which U.S. Cities Do The Majority of Single Christians – Specifically Those Who Regularly Attend Church – Live? by B. Showalter
There have been so many articles released this past week pertaining to the topics I normally blog about here, I can barely keep up. Here’s another one.
The second article below is from The Christian Post (as I said below the Tweet of this that was put out by The Christian Post: “Does it really matter since most churches do not have over 30s age singles groups and/or they insult singles for being single?”)
(Link): Single Practicing Christians Tend to Be in Big Cities – via Barna
by B. Showalter, Feb 2019
Which U.S. cities do the majority of Christian singles call home?
The majority of Christian singles tend to dwell in large East Coast cities, according to Barna.
In a study (Link): released this week, researchers unpacked how much the dating and relationship landscape has changed in the U.S. Barna has consistently tracked for many years the relationship status of practicing Christians — defined as those who attend a religious service at least once a month, self-identify as Christian, and say their faith is important to them.
They’re not all as pessimistic about love as you might assume.
We asked divorce attorneys if they believe in the concept of soulmates, how they define the term, and how their personal and professional lives have influenced those beliefs. Here’s what they told us:
People can have multiple soulmates throughout their lives.
“I do not think soulmates are preordained or that there’s only one soulmate per person. But I do think there are people that are absolutely perfect for each other. I just don’t think everyone finds that person or any of the few that may be their perfect soulmate.
Christians In Love With Non-Christians (and Their Christian “Friends” Who Object)
[The author reproduces some correspondence from Christian women who say they are or were dating Non-Christian men, but their Christian friends objected]
…You know what else is not a Christian thing to do (or what shouldn’t be, anyway)? Putting religious dogma ahead of being a friend.
Response to the Alex Parker Piece ‘Feminist Rages Against GirlPal ‘Galentine’s Day,’ Says No Women Are Lonely, Praises Group Vomiting’
A conservative editorialist at the Town Hall site, Alex Parker (who I assume is a man), mocks an (Link): anti-Galentine’s Day essay written by a secular, liberal feminist named Rachel Hosie.
“Galentine’s Day” is a new holiday where women friends can celebrate their friendships with each other on February 13th.
The secular feminist that Parker is responding to believes that Galentine’s Day is patronizing to single women, so she is not in support of the holiday.
As a never-married woman who is over 45 years of age who had wanted to be married, but it didn’t come to pass for me, I came to terms with being never-married years ago, so Valentine’s Day no longer bothers me the way it used to.
I don’t have strong feelings for or against Galentine’s Day.
While Hosie’s contention may be true that Galentine’s Day is patronizing towards single adulthood (which is a bad thing), I see it as ultimately a harmless day for women to spend enjoying the friendship of their women friends, so I don’t object to the holiday.
I do however object to a few of the points that Parker made while trying to dismantle Hosie’s arguments.
I will provide excerpts from the Parker editorial and then offer my observations:
[Hosie the liberal feminist writes,]
Actually, we don’t need your pity — and the whole concept perpetuates the ridiculous myth of the sad, single woman.
[To which conservative Parker replies,]
The ridiculous myth?? How is it a myth, and how is it ridiculous?
Men want women, and women want men; that’s why we have February 14th … Thursday’s gonna find some people without dates; some portion of those will have ovaries; and some of those are gonna be none too thrilled.
Oh, wait — I forgot; this is 2019.
Okay…women aren’t women and men aren’t men and women don’t have to be like men or women, and there are no men or women…
My comments regarding this portion of the exchange:
Spinsters and Crazy Cat Ladies
I cannot believe Parker is feigning ignorance of the “sad, pathetic” single woman trope.
Being a conservative who is critiquing a liberal or feminist essay does not mean having to act ignorant of certain societal truths in the process.
Special Report: The Gamification of Courtship
The gamification of courtship has gone global, from viral matchmaker shows in China to Tinder users who don’t stop swiping even after finding love.
The big picture: Apps are the new norm in dating. But the hyper-personalized and endless choices enabled by technology may actually be making it more difficult to meet “the one.”
Gamification is now built into dating:
- TV series like “The Bachelor,” China’s “If You Are the One” and Britain’s “Love Island” have played off cultural courting traditions to create popular, dramatic and competitive game shows.
- In apps, the format of swiping can intensify pleasurable chemical reactions in the brain and the “infinite scroll” persuades users to continue swiping into perpetuity.
- With almost endless options for partners, dating has become about “fast sex, slow love,” Helen Fisher, chief scientific advisor for Match.com told Axios.
My Experience as a Dating App Virgin
by Ariana Yaptangco
FEB 11, 2019
…. So I had decided to do the unthinkable: I, a dating app virgin, joined all the major dating apps with the goal of going on one date per app to help me get over my dating fears. I agreed to go out with anyone who asked and asked out anyone I was interested in.
Over the course of 4 weeks, I matched with 206 men, texted 21 of them, and made plans with 15 of them.
Here’s what happened. Spoiler alert: I’m still single.