First Evidence That Online Dating Is Changing the Nature of Society

First Evidence That Online Dating Is Changing the Nature of Society

(Link): First Evidence That Online Dating Is Changing the Nature of Society

Excerpts:

Dating websites have changed the way couples meet. Now evidence is emerging that this change is influencing levels of interracial marriage and even the stability of marriage itself.

Continue reading “First Evidence That Online Dating Is Changing the Nature of Society”

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Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo

Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo

Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo

Excerpts:

The power of marriage to transform allegedly forlorn single people into blissfully happy and healthy couples is not just the stuff of fairy tales. For more than 70 years, social scientists’ studies havesupposedly shown that marrying improves people’s wellness. Award-winning scholars and leading magazines have all proclaimed that marriage typically makes people healthier and happier.

The promise is seductive: Find and marry that one special someone and all your dreams will come true.

Recently, though, new and methodologically sophisticated studies have been published that suggest something startling: Maybe we are wrong about the benefits of marriage. People who marry, it seems, do not become healthier than when they were single, and may even become a shade less healthy.

They do not become lastingly happier, either.

Continue reading “Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo”

Fewer People Are Getting Married – And That’s A Good Thing by J. Wright

Fewer People Are Getting Married – And That’s A Good Thing by J. Wright

If you are new to my blog, I’d like to inform you that I am a conservative, a right winger.

I am not against “the family unit” or against marriage, but, I have noticed that a lot of other conservatives have disparaged singleness and have elevated marriage (as well as parenting and natalism) in to false idols they worship.

So, I’m not against marriage, babies, or the nuclear family, but I am opposed to the over-emphasis upon those things by my fellow conservatives.

(Link): Fewer People Are Getting Married – And That’s A Good Thing by J. Wright

Excerpts:

In a week full of terrible things, the Wall Street Journal published an essay entitled  (Link): “Cheap Sex and the Decline of Marriage” that pondered, “Why is marriage in retreat among young Americans? Because it is now much easier for men to find sexual satisfaction outside marriage.”

“Women: They’re Destroying Everything with Their Sluttery” is, I suppose, kind of a fun theory for an article if your readers hate women.

But the notion that unmarried young people are having an unprecedented amount of sex is without basis in fact. Studies from the (Link): Archives of Sexual Behavior indicate that extramarital sex is actually on the decline. Baby boomers are estimated to have 11 average sexual partners over their lifetimes, while millennials are expected to have only eight.

It stands to reason that women as well as men are having less cheap and easy sex.

Oh, well.

Continue reading “Fewer People Are Getting Married – And That’s A Good Thing by J. Wright”

Is There Such A Thing As Being Single For Too Long? by M. Del Russo

Is There Such A Thing As Being Single For Too Long? by M. Del Russo

(Link): Is There Such A Thing As Being Single For Too Long? by M. Del Russo

Excerpts:

I was recently on a first date when the guy I was with asked when my last serious relationship was.

It’s a fairly typical first date question, so I answered truthfully: My most recent boyfriend and I ended things a little over three years ago. “Wow, that’s a long time,” he replied. I was seriously taken aback.

…Is there such a thing as being single for too long?

Continue reading “Is There Such A Thing As Being Single For Too Long? by M. Del Russo”

Stop Asking People Whether They’re Married – Even As An Icebreaker

Stop Asking People Whether They’re Married – Even As An Icebreaker

Another suggestion: if you’re meeting someone over age 35, and they’re alone, do NOT assume they have been previously married or have had kids (don’t ask them, “So, how long has it been since you divorced”).

A lot of church people are bad about that. Any time I’ve walked into a church post age 35, they always ASSUME I am divorced (I have never been married, so this really annoys me).

(Link): Stop Asking People Whether They’re Married – Even As An Icebreaker

Excerpts:

by Bella DePaulo and Joan DelFattore

…. But what one of you probably would say before long is, “Are you married?” It’s seen as the most natural of ice-breakers, as if it’s the first thing strangers need to know about each other.

We, and dozens of people we’ve asked about this, encounter the question everywhere. Even random strangers sitting next to us in a train or plane will ask, “Are you married?”

Sometimes the questioner assumes you’re married— like the car dealer who asks if your husband is with you, or the job interviewer who says, “Do you need to talk it over with your wife?” When setting up online accounts, security questions such as “Where did you go on your honeymoon?” or “What is your maiden name?” seem inescapable.

Cue the music from the Twilight Zone, because what we have here is a time warp.

Continue reading “Stop Asking People Whether They’re Married – Even As An Icebreaker”

Formerly Jailed Pedophile Looking for Dates with Women on Dating Site

Formerly Jailed Pedophile Looking for Dates with Women on Dating Site

Disgusting. This is from a UK site. There are several photos of this person on the page linked to below:

(Link): LONELY HEART PAEDO Hulking perv who was caged for sex attacks on schoolgirls is looking for love on Plenty of Fish

August 2017

Kelvyn Jackson tells potential dates he ‘doesn’t want kids’ and describes himself as a ‘teddy bear’

He was caged in 2011 for eight years but has now set up a profile on the popular online dating site after being released from prison.

Jackson calls himself a “teddy bear” and a “coffee snob” and even tells potential dates he is “medically retired” – but fails to mention he is on the Sex Offenders’ Register.

The bald paedo has also uploaded a string of images – including a pouting selfie showing off his beard.

Continue reading “Formerly Jailed Pedophile Looking for Dates with Women on Dating Site”

A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez

A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez

(Link): A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher

Successful abstinence education begins with establishing and reiterating every child’s invaluable self-worth.

Excerpts:

…Many Young People Are Learning the Hard Way

My conversation with Kimberly comes at a time where abstinence-until-marriage curricula are being dragged through the media as an archaic form of moralistic sexual repression reserved exclusively for only the most backwards cities and states.

The Trump administration was chastised for its hire of pro-abstinence education leader Valerie Huber, and more recently for ending federal funding for a number of “teen pregnancy prevention” programs under the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

It should be noted that “teen pregnancy prevention” is a remarkably pliable term and can include harmful curricula that don’t focus on self-worth or developing healthy boundaries.

If teens aren’t learning that mistakes have consequences, how are they to truly comprehend deciding to have sex this weekend at a party can affect their health, future fertility, and future families?

…Lost amid this battle is the one message teenagers need above all: that they are worthy of a love that is unconditional and comes without the cost of their body.

Continue reading “A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez”

Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch

Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch

(Link): Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch

Excerpts:

…. Despite lingering doubts, she ended up in a marriage by her mid-20s — with a husband whose enthusiasm was not, in fact, all it had seemed to be. It waned over time.

He did not defend her in front of his family members, they fought constantly, he did not consider her feelings. By her late 20s, she was divorced, with a whole slew of different (and correct) thoughts about “how things should be” the next time around.

Addison isn’t alone in her previous beliefs about dating and relationships. Somewhere along the way, women were told, “You deserve to be pursued!” and, yeah, we just went with it.

Through my research (and even among friends), I’ve met plenty of women who’ve literally gone their entire lives letting men sort themselves by early, most-evident interest.

Their “single girl” dating ritual is simple: Strongest pursuer wins. (Side note: This is a heteronormative exploration of dating rituals and for that reason a heteronormative article on said rituals.)

With a (Link): culture of ghosting, bread-crumbing, zombie-ing, and just flat-out constant shuffling, I get that things seem inherently fragile out there, and lots of people want to insulate against rejection.

Continue reading “Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch”

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog

Warning: I discovered through further reading that the author of the blog is a complementarian. I disagree with complementarianism; more on that below.

Had I known from the start she is a complementarian, I may not have started composing this post. I am leery of pointing anyone to a complementarian resource, but here we are.


As of today, I see only a small number of posts on the The Rhetoric of Singleness blog, dating from April 2017, and this blog appears to be from a Christian perspective – but then, her blog does not display a list or pull down menu of all her posts.

Even though the blog looks to be on hiatus, I’ll link to it on the off chance the blogger resumes writing again.

The person behind this blog says she’s single, in her 30s, and has yet to marry but would like to.

(Link): The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – main page

Some of the only posts I am seeing on this blog include:

(Link): Pursuing Marriage

In that “Pursuing Marriage” post, she says she is a believer in gender complementarianism.

For example, here’s part of what she writes:

So, what options does that leave me, a woman with a complementary view of gender roles, of pursuing marriage? I know for some women who see no options left to them there is a strong temptation to bitterness, resentment, and to denigrate our single brothers who are called by God to the leadership role in the pursuit of marriage.

// end excerpt

Oh no. I (Link): used to be a complementarian myself but ditched it by my mid 30s.

I heard all the same stuff from conservative Christians growing up, as this other blogger likely did, such as, how (Link): men are supposed to be the heads in marriages, God supposedly created women pretty much to exist (Link): only to wait on menand so on.

(And I remained a conservative, even after I realized that complementarianism is false and actually quite sexist – it doesn’t just teach that men and women “complement” one another but that there should be a male hierarchy, of men ruling over women.

Contrary to what complementarians would have you believe, abandoning gender complementarianism will not turn you into a left wing, abortion-supporting, man-hating feminist. I am still right wing, even after leaving complementarianism.)

I am no longer a complementarian, but can pin point complementarianism, among a few other things, as being (Link): one reason as to why I am in my 40s and never got married.

Continue reading “The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts”

Woman Who Paid $150K for Dating Service Sues After Meeting ‘Married Men And Criminals’

Woman Who Paid $150K for Dating Service Sues After Meeting ‘Married Men And Criminals’

This does sound like a very crummy dating service.

(Link): Ex-QVC honcho shopped for love, then sued her matchmaker

(Link):  Woman Who Paid $150K for Dating Service Sues After Meeting ‘Married Men And Criminals’

by McAteer

August 2017

A retired corporate executive claims a high-end matchmaking service set her up with a string of highly unsuitable men, according to a lawsuit.

Darlene Daggett, former president for US commerce for the home shopping channel QVC, says she paid $150,000 for the service but was set up with married or mentally unstable men. Some were even convicted criminals, reports philly.com.

Continue reading “Woman Who Paid $150K for Dating Service Sues After Meeting ‘Married Men And Criminals’”

Dangerous Dating Trend Called Love Bombing

Dangerous Dating Trend Called Love Bombing

(Link): Dangerous Dating Trend Called Love Bombing

Excerpts:

by Greg Evans

Malicious dating methods are not uncommon and it appears that ‘love bombing’ is the latest trend on the scene. 

Previously we’ve had the likes of ghosting, benching and DTR where individuals manipulate anothers emotions for their own benefit.

Love bombing is a tactic that involves the immediate seduction of a new partner by showing them with affection.

According to the (Link): New York Post, this often occurs in whirlwind relationships, in which the overwhelming sensation of romance can push aside concerns and doubt.

This onslaught of periods of attention, known as ‘bombs’, leaves little room for the other person to question their partners intentions.

Continue reading “Dangerous Dating Trend Called Love Bombing”

Dating Site Bans White Supremacist From Their Site

Dating Site Bans White Supremacist From Their Site

This news story reminds me of the parody video I posted here: (Link): Westboro Dating Site Commercial (parody)

I’d rather stay single than date a White Supremacist.

Remember, my fellow singles who’d like to be married or in a relationship: there’s no point in being married to someone if that someone is a jerk, abusive, takes you for granted, or is a pervert or a white supremacist.

Singleness is preferable than being married to a trashy person.

There are worse things in life than being single.

(Link):  OKCupid bans white supremacist featured in Vice video

(Link):  Infamous Charlottesville neo-Nazi Chris Cantwell booted off dating site, rest of the internet

(Link):  OKCupid bans white supremacist from dating service

(Link):  White supremacist Chris Cantwell kicked off dating site OkCupid

(Link): OkCupid kicks out white supremacist Chris Cantwell: ‘There is no room for hate’

Excerpts:

by L. Bonos

After a (Link): Vice documentary about last weekend’s Unite the Right rally in Charlottesville featured white supremacist Chris Cantwell, he was (Link): banned from Facebook. And on Thursday, he was (Link): kicked off OkCupid as well.

Continue reading “Dating Site Bans White Supremacist From Their Site”

Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable’ Was Ghostwritten by a Man

Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable’ Was Ghostwritten by a Man

Judge Won’t Let Andrea Tantaros Keep Secret Her Feminism Book Was Ghostwritten By Man

I wrote a review (or critique) of this book a few months ago. In my review, I noted it was a variation on the old conservative saw to blame feminism for why single women are having a difficult time getting dates or getting married.

I disagree. I lived life as a June Cleaver house-wife type (meaning, though I was single, I very docile, passive, sweet, ladylike) for decades, and I never got married.

Being a conservative ideal of a woman is not a guarantee you’re going to get dates or get married, so my fellow conservatives can kindly stop promoting that view.

So, as it turns out, a man – yes, a man – wrote the “anti feminist” book with Tantaros’ name on it, telling women if they want to get a man and keep one, to ditch their independence, their agency, and behave like doormats.

(Link):  Judge Will Not Allow Former Fox News Host to Conceal Identity of Her Feminism-Bashing Book’s Male Ghostwriter

(Link): Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable” Was Ghostwritten by a Man

Excerpts

Former Fox News starlet Andrea Tantaros made a name of herself in the conservative echelons of cable news punditry by (Link): blaming feminists for everything from the decline of marriage to statutory rape.

So when her book Tied Up in Knots: How Getting What We Wanted Made Women Miserable was released last year it seemed par for the course that she would dedicate hundreds of pages to how she— a capable, self-sufficient, feminine anti-feminist— was so much better off than her feminist counterparts.

Continue reading “Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable’ Was Ghostwritten by a Man”

Welcoming Singles Into Your Church by E. Metaxas via Gina Dalfonzo

Welcoming Singles Into Your Church by E. Metaxas via Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): Welcoming Singles Into Your Church by E. Metaxas via Gina Dalfonzo

Excerpt

… Many churches today “don’t know what to do with the single and childless,” Gina notes. “While churches offer couples’ weekends to strengthen marriages, and Ultimate Frisbee games for families, many are not able to offer much help, or opportunities for service for the singles in their congregation.”

And sadly, fellow Christians, sometimes unknowingly, make singles feel as if they themselves are to blame for their unmarried state. That somehow if they haven’t tied the knot yet, they must be too self-centered, or too picky, or too focused on their career.

The truth is many singles deeply desire and pray for marriage.

Continue reading “Welcoming Singles Into Your Church by E. Metaxas via Gina Dalfonzo”

Even If You’re Married You Can Die Alone – Elderly Married Couple Found Dead

Even If You’re Married You Can Die Alone – Elderly Married Couple Found Dead

Sad story linked to below.

One scare tactic people (usually my fellow conservatives) will pull on singles to get them to hurry up and marry is to tell them that if they remain single, they will die alone, or that being married some how makes dying easier.

By the way, side note, here – if the church did its job and acted as spiritual family to everyone, instead of focusing on their blood relations, then elderly single people who are unrelated to them would do just fine.

A  Christian man or woman should not have to marry to have “family” look after them – if churches stopped worshipping The Nuclear Family and actually got off their marriage-worshipping asses, they could look after elderly people who live alone!

Anyway, about this view that you should marry or have to so that you won’t die alone: this is a pretty dumb argument, because married people die alone all the time.

My mother died in the wee hours of the morning in a hospital. She was supposed to be there for only about a week before returning home.

My father and I were not with her when she passed – we got a phone call from the nursing staff that she had passed away. My mother was married to my father. Her being married did not prevent her from dying, nor was my father with her when she died.

In this story below, an elderly married couple died.  They were ‘kind of’ together when they died, but it did not help them.

The husband in the story had dementia, and the wife could not walk, or not walk well.

The husband accidentally drove off the road, got the car stuck in the mud, left his wife in the car to go get help, walked down the street – he died (not sure if he had a heart attack of what).

His wife died in the car, some X feet away from her husband who was dead on the road side.

She was in the car alone in temperatures over 80 degrees. (Remember, she could not walk, or found it difficult, and her son or the cops or whomever, found her wheelchair back at her house, it was not in the car with her.)

Okay: so you can be married and still end up dying. You can end up dying alone.

I’m not sure if your husband dying a few feet of where you are (as in this story) would be any more comforting than your husband not being there at all.

So to all the singleness-shamers out there, stop telling us singles that we’ll die all alone, because you know what, married people? You may die all alone, too.

Not everyone dies in a warm, cozy bed surrounded with the smiling faces of loved ones before they kick off.

(Link):  He was his wife’s caretaker for decades but got dementia. Their deaths were ‘horrific’

BY SAMANTHA SCHMIDT

Aug 2017

…Getting around became even more difficult for the Tarnowskis – Mary, 78, and Ron, 81. The couple hardly ever left the home which their son, Karl Tarnowski, built adjacent to his own so he could keep an eye on them.

…On Saturday afternoon, eight days after the couple went missing, the family received their answer, and a tragic end to their strenuous search.

A U.S. Border Patrol helicopter found the couple’s Chevy Tahoe on an overgrown, abandoned driveway in a swampy area off the road just two miles away from the family’s hunting property.

They were near Brookston, a town about 30 miles from their Duluth home.

Continue reading “Even If You’re Married You Can Die Alone – Elderly Married Couple Found Dead”

How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme by Ed West

How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme

I’m a single woman, but I’ve never been liberal.

(Link): How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme

….The more freedom we have, the more there will be very feminine and masculine subcultures too, and this might explain a great deal of recent political developments — in particular the campus identity politics movement and the alt-right.

The former is heavily female, while the latter is overwhelmingly male — in fact, not just male, but populated by men who seem to have difficulties with women.

…Single women tend to be politically very liberal, voting for the Democrats in huge numbers….

Generally speaking, the culture wars are far more intense between women because women have to make more sacrifices — whether children or career — and this inevitably influences their worldview.

Continue reading “How Single Men and Women are Making Politics More Extreme by Ed West”

Only Couples Allowed? The Need to Celebrate Singleness in the Church. by P. Greer

Only Couples Allowed? The Need to Celebrate Singleness in the Church by P. Greer

A guy I follow on Twitter, and who follows me, named Andrew W. shared this link on his Twitter profile. I see in the comment box that my one-time stalker left a comment on that page.

(Link): Only Couples Allowed? The Need to Celebrate Singleness in the Church.

Excerpts (to see the full list, please click link above to visit the page):

…But I see a different story in Scripture. Jesus chose to remain single. Another bachelor, the apostle Paul said, “I wish that all of you were [single] as I am” (1 Corinthians 7:7).

Paul celebrated singleness and referred to it as a gift.  At the very least, in today’s world, let’s not put so much pressure on singles or only view the world through the “you-have-to-be-married” lens.

To my married friends, here are several dos and don’ts on how to celebrate singleness:

Continue reading “Only Couples Allowed? The Need to Celebrate Singleness in the Church. by P. Greer”

“They Feel that Churches Don’t Offer Anything For Singles”

“They Feel that Churches Don’t Offer Anything For Singles”

Someone wrote into Christian television show 700 Club to say they are friends with two different single adults who say they can’t find a mention of singles in the Bible, and that,

“They Feel that Churches Don’t Offer Anything For Singles”

The letter writer also says that her (or his) single friends feel discouraged.

You can watch the video and hear Robertson’s reply here:

(Link): Bring It On-Line: – August 1, 2017 (You Tube)

Robertson gets hung up on the fact that the singles said that the Bible “doesn’t mention singles.”

I, too, found that to be an odd remark, given that Paul says in 1 Cor 7 it is better to remain single than to marry.

However, Robertson focuses on that part of the question and basically ignores this part:

“They Feel that Churches Don’t Offer Anything For Singles”

Continue reading ““They Feel that Churches Don’t Offer Anything For Singles””

Those “God Brought Me My Spouse” Stories – Woman Says God Brought Her A Spouse on the Beach

Those “God Brought Me My Spouse” Stories – Woman Says God Brought Her A Spouse on the Beach

I’m really not supportive of these types of stories, the type that you see below.

When I was a teen and in my 20s, I would read Christian books and magazine articles. Every so often, I’d see an author claim that God answered her prayers by sending her a Christian spouse.

Now that I’m in my 40s and still not married – in spite of having faith and praying since youth that God would send me a great guy – I think these stories are fanciful and that they are aberrations.

I’m leaning more towards the opinion now that if you want to get married, it’s up to you to make it happen – by going to bars, asking friends to fix you up, going on dating sites – rather than expecting God to make it happen.

So, I find stories like the ones below misleading.

(Link):  Chance meeting on beach leads to marriage with godly man

– – Sunday, July 30, 2017

Thirty-four years ago this month, I was fresh out of college and earnestly seeking God’s will in my life. My heart was hungry for a godly man of outstanding character.

And though I had decided that compromise in this most critical of relationships was not an option, I was beginning to doubt whether a man of that quality could possibly exist, or if I would ever find him.

Little did I know that God already had set his answer to my prayers into motion.

Continue reading “Those “God Brought Me My Spouse” Stories – Woman Says God Brought Her A Spouse on the Beach”

Five Signs The Person You Are Dating Is Using You by L. Rose

Five Signs The Person You Are Dating Is Using You by L. Rose

I’m only going to provide excerpts, so if you want to see all five reasons, please use the link to visit their page.

(Link): Five Signs The Person You Are Dating Is Using You

Here’s what you need to look out for.

2. They make you feel small.

And actually, feeling good with the person is also a sign that you are not being used.

The person you’re with should build you up, make you feel happy and like life is better than it is without them.

Continue reading “Five Signs The Person You Are Dating Is Using You by L. Rose”