I Liked A ‘High-Value’ Man’s Photo on a Dating App – He Rejected Me Because I’m ‘Fat’ by A. Diaz

I Liked A ‘High-Value’ Man’s Photo on a Dating App – He Rejected Me Because I’m ‘Fat’ by A. Diaz

I feel for this lady. This man who contacted her on this dating app sounds like a narcissistic, arrogant, entitled douche.

This woman doesn’t strike me as being like the entitled, obese, progressive “body positivity” or “fat acceptance” women who say bizarre things – like dieting is a part of white supremacy – and who demand that thin men date them.

The woman in the story below does appear to be on the large size (there were photos of her on the page), but she doesn’t have an entitled “attitude,” so, IMO, the guy who texted her back was being unnecessarily rude about the whole thing – he’s also a flaming A-hole and someone should kick him in the balls repeatedly for how he thinks about women, and how he treated this particular woman.

Amended this post to add the following observations:
The article says she met this guy on a “Christian” dating app (Plenty of Fish). I want to educate the married Christians out there, who keep hyping “Christian dating sites” to their lonely heart single friends: stop doing it because “Christian dating sites” are also filled with jerks, abusers, and rapists.

Years ago, I was on a few dating web sites, one of which was considered to be “Christian,” and the so-called self professing Christian men on those sites who approached me were gross, their profiles were peppered with inappropriate sexual talk
– I may blog here about sexual topics (and get quite frank about it), but when I’m on a dating site, I don’t want to see sex jokes or smutty humor on a guy’s profile, nor do I openly and frankly discuss sex-related stuff on any of my old dating site profiles, nor did I engage in “smutty” humor talk with any of the men who contacted me (I kept things clean).

There have been news stories in the last ten years of MARRIED Christian men (with HIV and AIDS) who lie and say they’re single and then meet single women on dating sites, some of which are “Christian” dating sites.

There was a serial rapist who said he was a Christian to women he met on dating sites, but once he’d get to know them and then meet them in person, he’d rape them (here’s one post on my blog about that).

So… secular and “Christian” dating sites and dating apps are not guarantees for meeting quality, up-standing, loving men. Meaning, you idiot Christian married couples out there need to stop dishing out the simplistic advice of “Just join Plenty of Fish or eHarmony to get a Christian spouse!” – we singles have tried that, and for a lot of us, those sites have NOT worked.

(Link): I liked a ‘high-value’ man’s photo on a dating app — he rejected me because I’m ‘fat’

Dec 8, 2022
By Adriana Diaz

A plus-size mom claims she was harassed last month by a man on a dating app with self-proclaimed “above average” looks and “high values.”

“It was so ridiculous that it was comical,” Krista Brown told Kennedy News.

Brown, 36, said she downloaded the Christian dating app Plenty of Fish in November after being single for three years. She was unprepared for the cringeworthy communications she said she received from a match who turned out to be a mismatch.

The Minnesota budget support specialist recalled thinking the cyberspace Casanova was “kind of cute” despite his “pathetic mustache.” She claims she swiped right, but didn’t message him. She says the unidentified man reached out to her — in a big way.

“He sent me a whole huge, long paragraph asking why I think I’m worthy of dating him, and what do I bring to the equation? He had a very condescending tone. He was so absolutely ridiculous,” she lamented.

That’s Right! Even if a Trans Person Has Had “Bottom” Surgery, Nobody is Under Obligation to Date Him or Her (Re: Trans Cartoon)

That’s Right! Even if a Trans Person Has Had “Bottom” Surgery, Nobody is Under Obligation to Date Him or Her (Re: Trans Cartoon)

It’s just adorable and so naive how the leftists who push things like transgenderism think they can shame, insult, or guilt trip people into dating people who they don’t want to date.

Someone posted a cartoon on Twitter arguing that if someone refuses to date a Trans person who has had “bottom surgery,” that he or she is guilty of “transphobia” and is a bigot.

You can view that Tweet on Twitter (Link): here.
You can also view that cartoon further below, where I will embed a screen capture of it. 

I am a celibate, cis, never-married woman over the age of 45 and have no interest in dating cis men who are obese, bald, blonde, or red-headed, so I refuse to date cis men who are obese, bald, blonde, or red-headed.

I also refuse to follow, any further, the Christian advice I was raised with, which says I  can date only Christian men – I chucked that teaching out the window years ago. (It’s usually called “equally yoked” teaching.)

Men, This Woke Lady Wants You to know You’re “Fatphobic” If You Refuse To Go Out With Her – by NTB Staff

 Men, This Woke Lady Wants You to know You’re “Fatphobic” If You Refuse To Go Out With Her – by NTB Staff

I’m a thin lady who doesn’t want to date overweight men. So I don’t blame thin men who don’t want to date overweight ladies.

But god knows that secular culture and gender complementarians keep brainwashing women that we ladies should not look at a man’s earning potential, they assume we ladies have no libido (but many of us do), and they also assume we don’t notice what men look like – so they tell us to judge a man by his inner, spiritual qualities (see this post for more of what I mean about that). Oh barf! 

Contrary to what the liberal lady in the video below says, “Preference” can also include physical appearance.

I’m a thin person who is not attracted to large (i.e., obese) men, bald men, or blond men. (I also don’t like arrogant, stupid, selfish, or crass men – those being non-physical traits, of course.)

So… when I’m looking for a guy to date, I lean towards guys who are not overweight, bald, blonde, arrogant, etc.

And that is my right as an adult. I don’t allow other people to shame me, pressure me, or guilt trip me out of my boundaries and choices.

(Christians tried that on me for years! They shamed and guilt tripped me out of my choices or from having boundaries, but used the Christian faith, Christian gender complementarianism, or the Bible as rationales.)

Slapping labels on this won’t deter me, either. For example, if you want to call me a -phobe or -ist because I don’t want to date fat guys (fatphobic) or won’t date arrogant guys (arrogantist), I don’t care. That is not going to shame me into changing my dating preferences.

I work to keep my weight down. I run five times a week, and I also go on a lot of walks, bike rides, and I keep my caloric intake to 1200 calories per day, six days a week.

I don’t let my weight get out of control… and then get angry when most men would not be attracted to me.

(My one caveat here, in regards to this topic: the hypocrites.
I frequently see young and dumpy, or old and dumpy, men who have a case of the Uglies (or some are too skinny, some are too fat or just way ugly),
and yet, they always feel entitled to thin, tiny waisted, very pretty women who look like they fell out of a “Victoria’s Secret” catalog
– or you see balding, fat men with big beer guts who are 55 years old who feel entitled to 21 year old women who look like fashion models.)

I used to be fairly lenient and forgiving about dating someone with differing political views to my own (I wasn’t super picky on my dating profile filling out the “who do you want to be matched with” section under “politics”)….

But after seeing this woman’s incredibly obnoxious TikTok video/post, where she says single people not wanting to date the obese is “fatphobic” and “marginalization” – I now realize I would never, ever want to date a far left / SJW / identity politics / BLM supporter type of person(*). Never.

*(I am assuming this is where her politics reside. I’d be very surprised to learn that she claims to be a conservative or a Republican).

Her political views and grand sense of entitlement are ten times more odious than her physical appearance.

Never Married Person Ticked Off Because Churches Don’t Support Never Marrieds Who Do Not Want To Be Married

Never Married Person Ticked Off Because Churches Don’t Support Never Marrieds Who Do Not Want To Be Married

I once posted to a thread about adult singleness at another blog in 2014.

A person or two left comments there that I am just now, in 2019, seeing (as of last night).

I support single adults who’ve always been single who do NOT want to be married.

I’m a never married adult who wanted to be married, but it did not happen for me.

A person calling him or herself “Ehartsay” left a comment in that thread in 2014, (Link): here. I will just assume this is a woman poster.

Here is a portion of her comment:

by Ehartsay:

It has started to leave be with a feeling like even in this camp it is really only accepted to stay longterm single because of high standards, but still holding out hope for marriage, and not because you simply don’t want to be or care care about getting married

Even the ‘Christian Pundit’ seems to take care to establish that she wanted and still wants to get married, and would have been but for circumstances.
How about some live [love] for the marriage averse among us?
//////

Here is the reply I left to her:

Ehartsay,
Why are you criticizing me for wanting to be married? That’s what it sounds like you’re doing. I wish I had seen that post of yours back in 2014 – it’s five years later now.

On my blog, I have said in different blogs posts over the last few years I don’t have a problem with singles who enjoy being single and have no desire for marriage, and I’ve said on my blog that churches should treat such singles with respect and not try to cram marriage down their throats.

But I find your nit picking over my comment to be insulting.

What is it to you if I honestly would still like to marry?

Thoughts Regarding the Essay “3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing”

Thoughts Regarding the Essay “3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing”

Over at SCCL, this Relevant editorial was under discussion – (Link): here, on Facebook. You may want to read the comments there – this is one of those times I am in agreement with some (or most) of the SCCL commentators

Here is the article itself:

(Link): 3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing by Q. Ross

I feel some of the advice on the page is okay – the author, Ross, basically tells you if you’re a single who wants to be married, go out and live your life – go on a cruise or whatever, don’t just sit around waiting for your life to start. That’s not necessarily bad advice.

In her editorial, Ross coaches singles not to complain about being single, which is a point I don’t agree with. Singles should be permitted to complain about being single if it helps them cope with the hurt, stress, or frustrations of being single, especially if the single in question had wanted to be married.

Singles needs to be heard (included any negative thoughts or emotions they’d like to share about singleness), not shushed by Christians who are uncomfortable with strong emotion. Singles don’t need any more platitudes, either.

Where things go south is where she suggests that if you’re still single, it’s because you have something wrong with you – God, she implies, is waiting for you to meet some kind of criteria before he will send you a spouse.

For example, Ross writes this:

Instead of complaining, show God that you are content with him alone and then maybe He’ll trust you with a relationship. He wants to know that when He does bring someone into your life, you won’t bail on Him and worship the gift rather than the gift-giver.

//end excerpt

As I’ve said time and again on my blog, I’ve seen far too many losers, weirdos, and violent people – whether Christian or not – who get married to believe that God requires people to become wonderful, mature, godly, or what have you, to earn a spouse.

So, Which Is Harder, Marriage or Singleness? (via Relevant magazine)

So, Which Is Harder, Marriage or Singleness? (via Relevant magazine)

The author comes down more on the side of singleness- she believes that singles have life a bit more difficult in the overall scheme of things, since they have to do everything alone.

Some of the comments by the singles in the comments section below are annoying. Some of them are the sort who were single until the age of 29, so they’re like, “Hey man, I know how tough it is to be single, I didn’t marry ’til age 29.”

I’m like, shut up. I’m in my 40s and have never married, my dear. Being still single at age 40+ is not the same as getting married off once you hit age 29, 30 or 35.

Just because you didn’t marry until you were 29 doesn’t make you an expert on what extended singleness is like.

People who marry by their mid-30s who act as though they know how hard or frustrating it is to still be single at 40+ annoy me to no end, and they piss me off.

Then you have your adult singles in the comments on the ‘Relevant’ magazine page whining things like, “Aw jeeze, you make singleness sound so terrible. Speak for yourself, I be lovin’ the single life.”

To those people, I in turn am like, why don’t YOU shut up, because some of us are tired of being single and would like to be married? Great for you if you have reached full peace and contentment in your singleness, but some of us still would like to be married.

Here’s the link:

(Link): So, Which Is Harder, Marriage or Singleness? (via Relevant magazine) by Lizzy Harford

Singleness is often viewed as an undesirable life stage. If you ask anyone in the Church, for the most part, they despair at their single years. Singleness is hard, often lonely and unwanted.

When you’re married, you’re working and living in tandem.

You and your spouse, though separate individuals, are living together, moving along the same path with the same goals. While God is the true source of our comfort and reliance, there is an added feeling of security in marriage that singleness does not have.

…But singles are inevitably going to encounter multiple instabilities not once, not twice, but perhaps numerous times, for as long as they are single and unable to afford living on their own.

How Do We Solve a Problem Like the Singles? by R. Kilgore

How Do We Solve a Problem Like the Singles?  by Rachel Kilgore

Before I get to the link to the essay by Kilgore, which is hosted at MOS (Mortificiation of Spin / specifically, Aimee Byrd’s blog, ‘Housewife Theologian’):

For years and years on this blog, here on “Christian Pundit” blog, I have been explaining over and over again that most evangelical, Baptist, Reformed, and Fundamentalist Christian denominations, churches, and groups IGNORE adults singles – the older a single you are, the worse it is – the more ignored you are.

I have also commented on other people’s blogs under the Christian Pundit blog name, and under other names, alerting Christians to how horribly American Christians treat adult singles. I have Tweeted about it.

When Christians aren’t ignoring us older singles, and they do manage to notice our existence, many Christians shame us for being single. They insult us. They try to make us feel like we are losers (seriously, see (Link): this post, (Link): this post, (Link): this post), (Link): this post – I could cite many more examples from my blog of anti-Singles bias by Christians, but that should suffice.)

I used to be what is called a gender complementarian.  I am not interested in spending a lot of time explaining what that means.

I am no longer a gender complementarian.

I am linking you here to a post about adult singleness at a blog (the one by A. Byrd) owned by what I would term “soft gender complementarians.”

Love-Sick Teenager Who Won’t Take No For an Answer is Finally Shut Down by his Ex-Girlfriend’s FATHER in an Epic Text Exchange – Men of All Ages Need To Learn to Handle Rejection and to Respect Other People’s Boundaries in Dating

Love-Sick Teenager Who Won’t Take No For an Answer is Finally Shut Down by his Ex-Girlfriend’s FATHER in an Epic Text Exchange – Men of All Ages Need To Learn to Handle Rejection and to Respect Other People’s Boundaries in Dating

If there are any MEN reading this – especially men over the age of 21 – you need to realize that some of you are just as bad in your online behavior, especially on dating sites and apps, as this 15 year old kid is.

See how obnoxiously persistent this teen kid is, how he keeps dragging this exchange on and on with the teen girl’s father? This is how 90% of you men over the age of 21 behave towards grown women online, especially on dating sites.

You men refuse to take “no” from women for an answer, or to choose to view a woman turning you down as the ultimate insult.

You men take rejection by women far too personally, and send negative, nasty, insulting comments to some women, all for merely politely turning you down on a site, for refusing to give you their number, or going on a date with you.

Women you don’t know (single women) don’t owe you squat in life – women don’t owe you a smile, flirtation, chit chat, their phone numbers, sex, emotional support, or dates.

You will be turned down as you go through life by various women you flirt with or ask on dates – it’s a reality. Get over it. Learn to let go, accept defeat graciously, and stop taking it so damn personally.

Learn to respect other people’s boundaries. If a woman or girl tells you “no” or “not interested,” just let it go. Don’t send the girl or woman nasty, insulting messages if or when she turns you down. Just move along.

How to Date When You’re Almost Middle-Aged by A. Broadway

How to Date When You’re Almost Middle-Aged by A. Broadway

I skimmed this article over the other day (the link to it is much farther below; I wanted to say a few words first).

I’m over 40, the author was like 38 around the time of writing.

I don’t wish to re-read it, so I’m gong on memory. From what I remember, she seems to tilt to the belief that the older you get, the fewer decent men you have to choose from (I sometimes see this idea in regards to older women: that single women over the age of 35, 40 or 45 are somehow “flawed,” which is why they are still single, or single again).

The author therefore assumes if she does land a man at age 38 / 40, he is likely to be a loser or weirdo.

Look, I am not on board with that sort of negative, defeatist thinking. I’m over 40 and have never married (but yes, I was engaged to a guy for a few years. I have done the “serious relationship” thing).

Like all humans, yes, I have made mistakes in life and have a few odd-ball habits: but who does not. Still, for the most part, I am pretty normal. I’d make a great wife.

Therefore, any time I see married people or adult singles argue that singles over 35, 40, or older, are somehow losers or odd balls, I resent it – because, by default, you’re lumping me into that generalization. I am not a loser or a weirdo.

Over my time on the internet, especially since starting this blog, I’ve met other never-married or single again persons who are over the age of 35, and they’ve not been able to find a life partner. Not because they are losers, weirdos, or failures, but just for the simple fact that finding a compatible partner is not all that easy.

There are more never-married adults over 35 and 40 now (and “single again” adults) than at any time in our nation’s history, according to various news report I’ve seen the last 2 or 3 years. I find it hard to believe that all of the many thousands of over-40 singles are weirdos or too mal-adjusted to marry.

God knows I’m not as effed up as the (Link): married people I routinely blog about: the married, Christian men who rape their wives, abuse girlfriends, or who (Link): murder mistresses or who are arrested for fondling kids.

Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

I first spotted a link to this via Bella DePaulo’s Twitter account.

(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

Excerpts:

… “Even today, there’s truth to the idea that women get validation by being in a relationship,” says Rachel Hills, author of The Sex Myth. “If you’re single, it’s seen as a problem to be fixed.”

After that, I began to notice it everywhere. My exclusion from couples-only dinners. A married-with-kids friend implying that a second glass of vino was a wild night for her but for me every night was a drinkfest. Invites to weddings arriving without “and Guest” next to my name. Because I’m single, I’m made to feel bad about it.

Response to Various Cranky Critics Who Have Left Nasty Posts At This Blog From June to August 2014

Response to Various Cranky Critics Who Have Left Nasty Posts At This Blog From Around June to August 2014

If you have even bothered to glance at the heading on this blog, it says,

• this is a blog for me to vent; I seldom permit dissenting views. I don’t debate dissenters.

This disclaimer doesn’t stop cranky people, the occasional troll, or idiot from leaving nasty, vulgar, or negative remarks.

I do not usually read the negative posts that closely. I generally scan the first few lines of a new post, and if I ascertain quickly it’s a troll post, that it contains vitriol, snark, or a rant, I send it to the trash.

In the past two months, I’ve gotten a handful of nasty grams. I sent those posts to the trash can.

Here are summaries of the various nasty grams I have received, and my responses.

In this post, I will be discussing,

• 1. The Bitter Lady
• 2. The Grouchy Be Equally Yoked Lady
• 3. The You’re An Intolerant Homophobe Guy
• 4. The Immature I Am a 40 Year Old Man Who Likes to Pork 20 Year Old Women Lying Creepster Troll

-among others

Are Single Christians Marginalised By Their Own Church? – by J. French

Are Single Christians Marginalised By Their Own Church?

The target audience for this editorial appears to be black ladies, but I still related to most of it (and I’m white). I think this is also by a British author – I’m not sure.

(Link): Are Single Christians Marginalised By Their Own Church?

Excerpts:

Written by Jacqueline French
14/07/2013

…It’s official – the church is failing single people according to research conducted by the Christian Connection dating website which analysed the responses of its users.

The survey found that over a third of Christians who are not married, said that they felt they are not treated as those who are part of family; that nearly four out of 10 single churchgoers said that they often felt “inadequate or ignored”, while 42.8 percent felt that their “church did not know what to do with them”; and a total of 37 percent said that “they did not feel treated as family members.”

Although many of us find it hard to meet a godly suitor, most of us will still insist on marrying a Christian. Churches are simply not learning how to reflect the changes to the modern world in accommodating or even remotely recognising the needs of it’s single members.

Don’t even get me started on the marginalisation of single women in the churches!

Let’s face it – outside of joining the choir and/or volunteering to serve in a “ministry” of sorts, church leaders are at a loss as to how to support those of us aged 30 upwards.

To be fair to them however, they are often struck with ever-decreasing numbers of strong-conviction male Christians who feel confident in developing relationships with women. Indeed, my experiences include liaisons with the following:-

The Harem Wrangler – Married on average, for around 20 years, with 2.4 kids, he loves his wife but has a string of female, “friends” none of whom he has a sexual relationship with, but some of whom he is sometimes strongly emotionally connected to, often enjoying a better friendship with some of these women than he does his wife.

The Prophet of Doom – Bible-toting, Hawaii Five-O-style Christian male full of conviction as he roams the streets, buses and train stations preaching the Word in and out of season, because he’s married to The Ministry.

The Apostle Paul being his hero, he fiercely guards his heart from the merest hint of forming a relationship, as he is sure he has no need of women. He is here to herald that women are the ultimate deceiver, cunning and wily.

There are of course, many other “types” but you get the picture – the panoramic view does not bode well for single Christians (particularly women) wanting to meet other single Christians not necessarily via dating websites or via other social networking media but within Christian circles – at minor, everyday or major events. This is, by far, the most underrated trial in the church, with single Christian women comprising a vast majority of most congregations.

————————–
Related posts:

(Link): Awesome Relationship Advice for Single Women by Ms Heart Beat

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link): The Types of Christian Singles Who Annoy Me