Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Single women get slammed with the reverse stereotype as what this author  describes about unmarried men in this editorial: we’re (single women) all expected to be really maternal, even if we find babies and children annoying and weird and prefer the company of adults only. 

I have other posts on my blog with articles about the negative stereotypes that culture and married people have about singles – and ones that pertain to single women.

For example, some restaurants with bars (Link): forbid single women from sitting at the bar, because the management insultingly assumes any woman sitting alone at the bar is a prostitute (I am not joking). See the links under “Related Posts” at the bottom of this page for more such unfortunate examples.

(Link): Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Excerpts:

The widespread mockery and suspicion of Gaetz’s relationship with Nestor isn’t just due to the congressman’s personality, however; it reflects sexist assumptions about parenthood.

Continue reading “Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi”

Article About Doctor Pedophile from WSJ Mentions His Unmarried Status – Why?

Article About Doctor Pedophile from WSJ Mentions His Unmarried Status – Why?

An article from the Feb 9/10, 2019 issue of the Wall Street Journal – one by Christopher Weaver, Dan Frosch, and Gabe Johnson – details the many instances of pedophilia by a doctor named Weber who worked in a few different government-run hospitals that treated Native American Indians.

(Link): Pedophile Doctor Left Trail of Suspicions – And Abuse

Instead of the government doing anything about his suspected pedophilia, they shuffled him around from hospital to hospital.

In other words, they treated him and covered up the child sex abuse the way so many churches do, by moving the guilty from one church to the next. There was no accountability.  A lot of people looked the other way. People who were whistle-blowers were threatened to keep quiet.

The thing that stood out to me in the article was this comment in the introduction:

At first, officials at the U.S. Indian Health Service overlooked the peculiarities of their unmarried new doctor, including the children’s toys he hoarded in his basement on the reservation.
————–

Please notice the phrase “unmarried… doctor.”

Why is it significant to mention that the predatory doctor was single?

A married man with no children would also seem odd “hoarding children’s toys” in his basement.

Continue reading “Article About Doctor Pedophile from WSJ Mentions His Unmarried Status – Why?”

What Happens to Men Who Stay Bachelors Forever, According To Science by L. Vinopal

What Happens to Men Who Stay Bachelors Forever, According To Science by L. Vinopal

(Link): What Happens to Men Who Stay Bachelors Forever, According To Science by L. Vinopal

Excerpts:

Men who never get married and have children are many things—and not all of them are as sad and lonely as Uncle Rob.

Despite plenty of studies that show how parenthood and marriage benefit men, a growing body of research reveals that it’s more of a mixed-bag for bachelors than scientists previously thought. There are plenty of upsides (and some downsides) to staying alone forever. Here’s what science has to say about being that guy.

Single Men Make Less Money…

Men who stay unmarried make anywhere from 10 to 40 percent less than married men, studies show. There’s evidence that fathers make up to 21 percent more than men without children, and studies suggest men with wives and kids work longer hours and put up with more workplace bullshit than single men.

Continue reading “What Happens to Men Who Stay Bachelors Forever, According To Science by L. Vinopal”

Singles Discrimination, Complementarianism, Equally Yoked Teaching, and Spotting Predators in Church Video

Singles Discrimination, Complementarianism, Equally Yoked Teaching, and Spotting Predators in Church Video

Someone in a Christian discussion group posted this video (and I don’t want to link to the group or mention it by name, though you may be able to figure out which one it is, especially if you are already familiar with it), and the Christians on the discussion board talked about it:

(Link): When A Predator Shows Up At Your Church — Here’s What You Do!

That same video has also been making the rounds on other Christian blogs, sites, forums, and on Twitter.

The video is around 18 minutes long. I watched it a few days ago.

The video features a Christian woman who says a 50-something guy showed up at her church, a man who set off red flags for her, due to his weird behavior around the kids who were there at the church, including her own.

The man behaved overly-familiar with her kid, other people’s kids who were there, and he ignored the parents of the kids.

(1) First, I’m going to discuss what I believe this video has to do with complementarianism.

(2) Then I am going to discuss some of the disturbing comments about adult singles that were made in the Christian discussion group where I saw this video posted to, and next,

(3) I’ll move on to discussing, as mentioned by a woman or two in the group, about the creepy behavior single adult women have to put up with, even at church, and what this has to do with the Christian “Equally Yoked” teaching.

Continue reading “Singles Discrimination, Complementarianism, Equally Yoked Teaching, and Spotting Predators in Church Video”

Church Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church

Churches Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church

Several spiritual abuse blogs covered this story, as well as a handful of mainstream media outlets. (Links to the story are farther below).

From what I’ve read, this adult married man raped a young lady. He was, I think, in his mid-30s at the time of the rape, and his victim was around 13 years old. (Some of these articles are saying he had more than one young victim.)

At the time this story broke, I believe he was working in a library.

One of the spiritual abuse blogs dug up the information that this guy’s current wife is his THIRD WIFE, and they have children (however, I am unclear if these kids are his biological kids with this third wife, or if they are her kids from a prior marriage).

This church in Tennessee was allowing this sicko to act as a bass player on stage during various church services.

Many conservative Christians like to teach this falsehood that being married and being a parent are vital to making a person mature, godly, ethical, and loving, which is so much BUNK and nonsense, considering we have stories such as this one, where a man has been married THREE times in his life but raped kids before.

How did being thrice married prevent this creep from sexually assaulting girls? It did not. Marriage is not some kind of special salve or condition that makes a person behave in a moral fashion.

Continue reading “Church Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church”

No, Focus On the Family, I Do Not Want to Civilize a Barbarian – via Biblical Personhood Blog

No, Focus On the Family, I Do Not Want to Civilize a Barbarian – via Biblical Personhood Blog

There is certainly nothing wrong with marriage or the nuclear family, but often times, in attempting to defend the nuclear family or the institution of marriage, a lot of Christians and conservative groups (such as Focus On The Family) err too far in making an idol out of both and denigrating singleness (or childlessness) in the process.

I have taken Focus on the Family to task before on that issue and one or two others.

Another blogger, Biblical Personhood, caught wind of a Focus on the Family blog post by  Glenn T. Stanton – well, it’s on a blog called “First Things,” which the lady blogger of Biblical Personhood says is an off-shoot of Focus on The Family.

I have discussed Stanton on my blog before, such as in these posts:

(Link): Focus on Family spokesperson, Stanton, actually says reason people should marry is for ‘church growth’

(Link):  Mefferd Guest Incredulous that Preachers Push Kids To Marry Early

Based on what I remember about Stanton, he can veer a little bit too much into idolizing marriage.

At any rate, here is the link to the blog post by Biblical Personhood, with some additional comments by me below this excerpt:

(Link): No, Focus on the Family, I do not want to civilize a barbarian via Biblical Personhood blog

Here is an excerpt from the opening (please click the link above to visit the other blog if you’d like to read the entire page):

From Biblical Personhood Blog:

(Link): Focus on the Family recently suggested something that seems, at first glance, to flatter women. I did not feel flattered at all. They suggested women are the number one way to change men for the better:

/// start quote

… the most fundamental social problem every community must solve is the unattached male. If his sexual, physical, and emotional energies are not governed and directed in a pro-social, domesticated manner, he will become the village’s most malignant cancer. Wives and children, in that order, are the only successful remedy ever found. – Glenn T. Stanton

/// end quote

This is highly problematic, to say the least.

From the theological perspective :

Have Focus On The Family never heard of Jesus and being born again? Surely Jesus is better at changing humans – even the alleged “malignant cancer” called unattached males – from the inside than any woman is? How could a Christian™ organization say that women, not Jesus, is the only remedy for men’s bad tendencies?

(( read the rest here ))

If you are an unmarried man (and you either want to stay single for the remainder of your life, or are aware you may never marry, even though you may want a wife), I’m sure you must really appreciate guys like Stanton saying you are basically a raging animal, or an immature man-baby, unless you are married to a woman.

You, if you are a single (unmarried) man, are a nothing, an incompetent, immoral loser unless you have a wife, is how Stanton’s reasoning comes across. You must have a wife and possibly father a child by said wife to count or to be a “real man.” This is pretty insulting stuff, especially bearing in mind that the Bible that Stanton likely would say he reads and agrees with, says nothing of the sort.

I did read over the Biblical Personhood blog post a day or two ago, but I don’t remember exactly everything that blog author wrote.

I will here add my own thoughts about the Stanton penned blog post. Some of my observations may be similar to those by the Biblical Personhood blogger.

Stanton writes:

 Women create, shape, and maintain human culture. Manners exist because women exist. Worthy men adjust their behavior when a woman enters the room. They become better creatures. Civilization arises and endures because women have expectations of themselves and of those around them.

I disagree with just about everything he said there, on different levels, and for different reasons.

Most cultures are patriarchal, and this has been the way the world has been for thousands of years.

Women are not allowed to shape or maintain politics, marriage, or church – let alone culture, because men hold all the power. Women are taught by parents and culture from girlhood that this is normal, that men should be in charge, and females are conditioned from childhood to accept this and go along with it, especially Christian girls.

As much as I dislike blatant sexism, where men sound like cave-men and make loud, rude, condescending claims, such as women are not as logical or intelligent as men (this is used to justify limiting women in the workplace and so on)-
I also do not appreciate this (Link): benevolent sexist, noble-sounding, sappy and fouffy writing that tries to convince women that being subservient to men, allowing men to lead and protect them, and thus they can and should give up self-determination and their agency, is in their best interest, because dang it, women are so much more morally superior creatures to men.

This sort of writing is sugar-coated sexism. It’s asking women to give up their personhood,  identity, or their independence, in exchange for something else (in this case, the betterment of men or culture).

I’m really tired of how sexists keep demanding things of women, and nothing of men, of expecting women to fix men, or to fix society.

Continue reading “No, Focus On the Family, I Do Not Want to Civilize a Barbarian – via Biblical Personhood Blog”

Man Alone At Zoo Accused of Being Pedophile For Taking Photos Around Public Fountain

Man Alone At Zoo Accused of Being Pedophile For Taking Photos Around Public Fountain

—————————————

  • I would not be surprised if (Link): my Blog Stalker, John Morgan, still visits my blog (and sometimes my Twitter account) and steals links and story ideas to blog on at his blog. He’ll probably swipe the following story I found and feature it on his own blog. Stop taking content from my blog, Morgan.
  • JOHN MORGAN: Don’t sit there and accuse me of being “untrustworthy” merely because I blog under a pen name and then turn around and use stories I put on my blog on yours.
  • If you believe I am “untrustworthy,” stop using my material. You cannot have it both ways. Get off my blog – and don’t visit my Twitter, either.

—————————————–

I am unclear if the man in this story is married or not. He might be married.

Regardless, he is a photographer who went to a zoo alone.

He wanted to take photos of the architecture around the zoo.

Some women saw him taking photos, and automatically assumed that an adult alone snapping photos must be a pedophile.

The women got the zoo security involved – and I think local police eventually got involved, too. The guy showed the content of his camera to the security or the cops, which showed no photos of kids on it.

The guy was kicked out of the zoo for the remainder of the day.

I did a blog post about this a long time ago, but various studies have shown that the majority of pedophiles are MARRIED MEN – not single ones. Therefore, the women in this news story need to be more paranoid of married men.

(Link):   Man accused of taking photos of young girls banned from Zoo Miami

  • by Amanda Batchelor – Senior Digital Editor
  • Posted: 3:28 PM, May 11, 2016Updated: 10:12 AM, May 12, 2016
  • Woman says man was taking photos of girls in bathing suits
  • MIAMI – A man was asked not to return to Zoo Miami after he was caught by a parent taking photos of young girls, Zoo Miami spokesman Ron Magill said.

Continue reading “Man Alone At Zoo Accused of Being Pedophile For Taking Photos Around Public Fountain”

Preacher Says in Sermon that Single Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Who Have Retarded Spirits and This Creates Dating Problems for Women

Preacher Says in Sermon that Single Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Who Have Retarded Spirits and This Creates Dating Problems for Women

According to this preacher, if you are an unmarried man who plays video games, you have a “retarded spirit.”

If you are a hetero single man, would you say that is a step up or a step down from being assumed to be homosexual, as far as assumptions, insults, and stereotypes about unmarried men go (especially ones by Christians)?

I do believe pastor Mark Driscoll (who is very sexist against women) has also said similar things about unmarried men, back when he was heading Mars Hill church.

I’m pretty sure that (Link): this is the church’s home page.

(Link):  Pastor: Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers

(Link):  Christian Pastor Says Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Possessed by a “Retarded Spirit”

(Link):  Texas preacher tries — and fails — to scrub rant about video games giving men ‘retarded spirit’

  • The pastor for an Arlington, Texas church tried to hide video of a sermon in which he blamed video games for dating problems within his congregation, (Link): the Friendly Atheist reported.
  • The Faith Christian Center had originally posted Pastor Gene Lingerfelt’s remarks on its Vimeo account. But the video was taken down after the sermon began to attract attention online, as seen below.
  • [The preacher in the video said:] “There are young gals in this church. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful young gals, and you know why they can’t get a date? ‘Cause that retarded spirit got onto young men.”
  • Despite the pastor’s criticism, (Link): the Entertainment Software Review Board found that the average age of a gamer is 34, while the average video game buyer is 39 years old.

Related Posts:

(Link): Theme Park Bans Single Adults For Fear They Are All Pedophiles

(Link):  Stigmas and Stereotypes of Single Unmarried Men Over 25 or 30 Years of Age – They’re Supposedly All Homosexual or Pedophiles

(Link): The Study of Why Men Stay Single: What No One Is Telling You by B. DePaulo

(Link):  Christian Blogger About Divorce, Pastor Andrew Webb, Thinks All To Most Mid-Life Never – Married or Single – Again Adults Are Mal-Adjusted, Ugly Losers Who Have Too Much Baggage

(Link): Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies, Hails Pedo as a “Hero” – Meanwhile, Many Churches  Refuse to Allow Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions

  (Link):  “You’re not a real man until you have children” by G. Proops – women should be able to relate to this too
(Link):  Mark Driscoll’s Hypocrisy About Single Men – and other Driscoll stuff

(Link): Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric

(Link): Aged Out of Church by M Van Loon (For Christians over the Age of 35 – 40)

Married Preacher Raped Two Girls in His Church and Also Had Child Sexual Abuse (Porn) Collection- Some of it obtained by placing hidden cameras in church bathroom

Married Preacher Raped Two Girls in His Church and Also Had Child Sexual Abuse (Porn) Collection- Some of it obtained by placing hidden cameras in church bathroom

I think I’ve long since given up on my parent’s idea that the way to meet a decent, kind, stand-up man to marry is at a church. (It’s a bit of a problem anyhow, since a lot of single men between the ages of 25 and 75 don’t attend churches much.)

I do not blog about every single story that I see come through my Twitter feed about Christian men (some who work as preachers) who are arrested for fondling teens, raping children, soliciting sex from minors, or having child sex abuse (aka child porn) collections.

If all I did was blog about those kind of stories, I would be on this blog 24 hours a day, seven days a week. It would be difficult for me to keep up with them all. (This blog post you see here, of this preacher who raped girls at his church, is the 3rd or 4th such story I’ve seen like this come through Twitter this week alone. And I saw a few similar stories last week and the week before.)

Not only is a guy saying he’s a Christian not a guarantee he is quality material, but this deviant guy is MARRIED.

A lot of Christians promote this untrue idea that being married is necessary to make a person fully mature, godly, and responsible. Obviously, being married does not make everyone mature and godly, because I have numerous stories like this one of married men who are guilty of raping children.

And obviously, a person does not have to reach some level of godliness or perfection – as some Christians teach – before they can land or earn a spouse on their own merit or from God. This guy is as imperfect and twisted as they come, yet he was married! God did not keep this man from getting a spouse and marrying.

So please, Christians out there, please stop advising adult singles – as some of you do – that if they are still single, it’s because God is “working on them,” God is trying to “clean them up to make them marriage material,” or they have to work on themselves to remove flaws or sins from their own life.

I am hard pressed to think of anyone more flawed and sick than a child rapist or an animal abuser, but it’s a fact that some stories you see in the news of child rapists and animal abusers are also married. It’s not a bunch of never-married adults out there raping children or harming animals.

(Link):  Arkansas pastor whose wife discovered his horrendous child porn collection will serve two life sentences over the rape of girls at his church

Continue reading “Married Preacher Raped Two Girls in His Church and Also Had Child Sexual Abuse (Porn) Collection- Some of it obtained by placing hidden cameras in church bathroom”

GOP Consultant Rick Wilson to MSNBC: Trump Supporters ‘Childless Single Men Who Masturbate to Anime’

GOP Consultant Rick Wilson to MSNBC: Trump Supporters ‘Childless Single Men Who Masturbate to Anime’

I am right wing, and a Republican (though I am lately thinking about leaving the GOP, but not for the Democrats. Both the GOP and the Democrats are disappointing, but for different reasons).

I have said on this blog before that many Republicans (or at least a percentage) are stuck in the 1950s, and that they idolize the nuclear family. They ostracize or marginalize anyone who is not married with children (which is quite what conservative Christians do).

Some of the following links pertain to Donald Trump. I know a lot of people find Trump polarizing, but I don’t have strong opinions for or against the guy.

I don’t keep up with politics as much as I used to do, so I just happen to see the occasional blurb or Tweet about Trump. From what I’ve seen the last several months, Trump says offensive or over the top things. Every so often, he makes a point that I agree with a tiny bit.

It’s highly inappropriate for a Republican to trash un-married or childless men for any reason, but I’d also include doing so for the sake of taking Trump down a peg or two. Insulting people for being single or childless, or in the context of scoring political points, is totally uncalled for.

I suppose the GOP yea-hoo who made these disparaging remarks about single or childless people is unaware that most Americans today are single, and more and more are forgoing parenthood (Link about that and see this link).

(Link): GOP strategist slams ‘crazy’ Trump fans: ‘Childless single men who masturbate to anime’

Continue reading “GOP Consultant Rick Wilson to MSNBC: Trump Supporters ‘Childless Single Men Who Masturbate to Anime’”

Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer

Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer

These are just excerpts, so you’ll have to visit the link here to read the page in full:

(Link): Bible Scandals (Ineligible Bachelor) by David Instone-Brewer

Commenting on what it was like to be single in the time and culture of Jesus:

  • …. Girls were mostly married by the age of twelve, and if a man wasn’t married by the age of twenty the gossips started comparing notes and looking for a reason.
  • …. So why was Jesus still single at the age of thirty? It was clear to all who knew him. No-one would let his daughter marry someone of questionable parentage since, if there was any irregularity in their birth, it could cast doubt on the legitimacy of their children for ten generations. And Jesus’ birth, as everyone knew, was very irregular.
  • …. Jesus not only shared the stigma of being single – he also tried to do something to alleviate it for other single people. Jewish law excused eunuchs from the command to marry, because they couldn’t physically fulfil the duty to have children.

Continue reading “Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer”

TV Already Has Enough Token Homosexuals – Daryl Dixon Should Remain a Celibate Hetero Single – and Not All Older Single Men Are Homosexual

TV Already Has Enough Token Homosexuals – Daryl Dixon Should Remain a Celibate Hetero Single – and Not All Older Single Men Are Homosexual

Oh brother. I seriously doubt that The Walking Dead writers are going to actually make fan favorite Daryl Dixon a homosexual, but it sure makes for good publicity.

I cannot, off the top of my head, think of any television show that has an adult single over the age of 30 who is a virgin and who is living a celibate life.

I cannot think of many progressive Christian or secular writers who support adult virgins, celibates, or asexuals. They will sit around blogging in support of every form of sexuality or sexual deviancy under the sun but for people who chose to abstain from sex.

About the entire cast of the GLEE television series was homosexual. The television series “Modern Family” has a homosexual couple who adopted a child. “Will and Grace” featured two homosexual guys as their main characters. “Faking It” is an MTV show about a girl who thinks she might be a lesbian.

There have been several other shows over the years that have featured homosexuals and lesbians. The world does not need anymore homosexual or lesbian characters, any more than the world needs another marriage sermon (see this page).

If folks are going to insist that each and every form of sexuality get equal screen time, I want to see more adult single, hetero virgin/celibate characters. Maybe also include some adult celibate homosexual characters, too.

It is so cliched’ for every character on a show to date, sex it up, or marry – there’s nothing special or interesting about it. One of the reasons I like the Daryl Dixon character is precisely due to the fact he seemingly lacks a love life and sex. It’s just him and his crossbow, shooting zombies in their faces.

No, Daryl Dixon should not be made into a homosexual character who dates. I also don’t want to see him get a girlfriend. Him getting into any sort of sexual or romantic relationship would ruin the character to a degree, maybe totally.

I also want to say that one common view that pops up on pages that report this story is damaging to hetero virgin men who are over 25 or so years of age: the assumption is that if people do not see a man over 25, 30 or older with a woman, he MUST be a homosexual.

This knee-jerk reflection is very insulting and offensive to hetero males who are single into adulthood, ones with Christian or traditional values who don’t believe that homosexual behavior is moral. Just because a man is not dating a woman, has never dated, or has never married or never had sex with a woman, does NOT necessarily mean he is a closeted homosexual or is one in practice.

There are asexual and celibate older HETERO men out there (just as there are asexual and celibate older HETERO women too).

Continue reading “TV Already Has Enough Token Homosexuals – Daryl Dixon Should Remain a Celibate Hetero Single – and Not All Older Single Men Are Homosexual”