How Evangelical Teachings Ruin Sex and Marriage For Many Women by L. Blair

How Evangelical Teachings Ruin Sex and Marriage For Many Women by L. Blair

Some of the issues discussed in this article and in her book are ones I’ve brought up on this blog over the years.

There is so much hypocrisy in Christianity, usually hypocrisy that works out in favor of men and to the detriment of women, especially in “gender complementarian” teachings.

Some of these teachings about marital sex, or marriage generally, can be directly or indirectly derogatory towards single, celibate adults (e.g., some Christians teach that having sexual intercourse is “necessary to know God,” while some preachers teach that to fulfill your purpose in life, you must marry.)

Here is the article about the book:

(Link): How Evangelical Teachings Ruin Sex and Marriage For Many Women

Excerpts:

By Leonardo Blair, Christian Post Reporter 

Evangelical blogger Sheila Wray Gregoire doesn’t care if her critics want to brand her a feminist. She wants the Church to know that “sex is for women too,” and ignoring that point can ruin sex, orgasms and marriages for women. 

New research shows that many evangelical women are unsatisfied in the bedroom due to some evangelical beliefs, and that’s the big takeaway Gregoire wants readers to get as she stages a scholarly intervention in her new book, The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended. 

Continue reading “How Evangelical Teachings Ruin Sex and Marriage For Many Women by L. Blair”

Batman, Catwoman Oral Sex Scene Blocked From Series: “Heroes Don’t Do That”

Batman, Catwoman Oral Sex Scene Blocked From Series: “Heroes Don’t Do That”

Who the hell wants, or asked for, sex scenes in comics about superheroes?

Now, if your complementarians insist on continuing to teach about sex, they need to acknowledge that some women do and would enjoy receiving oral sex from their male partner – but – complementarians never, ever want to acknowledge women’s sexual (or even often, their non-sexual) preferences.

Complementarians have to keep living in this delusion that only men enjoy sex to justify why they think it’s okay for men to be selfish in the bedroom and not even concern themselves with what women prefer.

(Link): DC stopped Batman from performing oral sex on Catwoman

“Heroes don’t do that,” DC apparently decided. The tweetstorm says otherwise.

(Link): Batman, Catwoman Oral Sex Scene Blocked From Series: “Heroes Don’t Do That”

by James Hibberd
June 15, 2021

Batman can beat criminals to a pulp, take on supervillains and live a double life as a billionaire playboy and caped crusader … but he can’t, apparently, go downtown — not downtown Gotham City, he can, obviously, certainly go there, but he can’t go to, you know … the other downtown.

Continue reading “Batman, Catwoman Oral Sex Scene Blocked From Series: “Heroes Don’t Do That””

Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel

Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel

(Link): Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel – American Spectator site – partial copy here

Excerpts:

… [After having been single again for two years (unclear if due to divorce or breakup with a boyfriend), the author of this piece decided to try various dating sites and apps and to date men ages 20 – 25; she was 38 at the time. She discusses how her conversations with these younger men start out and then end.]

…In these conversations [with younger men on dating apps], messages veer from requests for info on what you did on the weekend to requests for your life story.

Without the prospect of a drink, the conversation then dies. Or they hang forever in the ether.

On Christmas Day, no fewer than eight twentysomething men got in touch, most of them men I had met on dating apps. I’d only met three.

The rest had been kicking around in my DMs, as they say, for up to a year and seemed suddenly keen for a chat.

The third path is sexting. This is the most depressing, and fast becoming the most uncontrollable and ubiquitous, aspect of dating young men.

Continue reading “Why Are Young Men So Afraid of Sex? by Zoe Stimpel”

The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men

The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men & That Women Are Oblivious To, or Don’t Care About, What Men Look Like

I am an ex-complementarian (yes, I am, read more about that (Link): here if you so choose).

I’m very aware of what complementarians teach and believe on many topics.

Many complementarians wrongly believe that women lack sexual drive, an interest in sex, and that women don’t care about what men look like.

Complementarians operate in this very strange worldview that only men are “visual.” The Bible does not teach that God created men to be visual or to have more of a sex drive than women, but Complementarians act as though it does. These views permeate their blogs, pod casts, books, sermons, and so on.

So, under complementarian teachings, women are often shamed and scolded about their physical appearance.

I’ve seldom heard complementarians tell male listeners or male readers to join a gym, work out, and get in shape so that they will be physically and visually appealing to women.

(Edit, Side Note:
Complementarians seem to assume that all single women are only interested in a man’s bank account. No, we’re not.

But there’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry a guy who has a steady job, steady pay check, who is financially responsible.

I was engaged to a man who took financial advantage of me for years. Most women I know were dating or married to men who refused to get jobs, so the women had to earn a pay check.

These women’s husbands would sit about the house all day in their underpants playing Playstation video games or watching sports.

I’ve never personally run across too many female gold diggers in my time, only one – the rest of the gold diggers I’ve met or known personally have been MEN who were leeching off their wives or girlfriends.

At any rate, complementarians wrongly assume that all women are obsessed with  looking for a husband or boyfriend with a very large income or expensive sports car, so they are always telling us women to “stop judging a man by his income or what kind of car he drives, and instead, focus on how much he loves Jesus.”

Well, I hate to break it to you complementarians, but some us ladies are busy checking out if the guy has great abs and muscular arms or not – we aren’t as obsessed with his credit score, car, or savings and investments as you may assume.)

No, the sexist complementarians reserve that rhetoric for women.

But women do notice and care about what men look like, as I’ve blogged about years ago in a series of posts, such as (Link): this one or (Link): this one.

(Even the (Link): Bible mentions women noticing hot looking men and getting turned on by them, but per usual, complementarians ignore or do not mention parts of the Bible that don’t fit their backwards views.)

All of that brings me to this…

The other day, I was scrolling down my Twitter page and saw this headline from The Daily Mail:

(Link): ‘Erotic weight gainer’ who tips the scales at 500lbs reveals he eats 10,000 calories a day to maintain his ‘ball gut’ and keep his OnlyFans followers entertained

Here are some excerpts:

A 500lb OnlyFans influencer who found a lucrative niche within the fat fetish community has revealed he has to eat around 10,000 calories a day to maintain his ‘ball gut’ and keep his followers entertained.

Continue reading “The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men”

Study Finds Women Are Less Likely to Date Men Who Pose With Cats in Their Dating Profiles​

Study Finds Women Are Less Likely to Date Men Who Pose With Cats in Their Dating Profiles​

(Link): Single men with cats less likely to find love on dating apps, study finds 

(Link): Study Finds Women Are Less Likely to Date Men Who Pose With Cats in Their Dating Profiles​

“Men holding cats were viewed as less masculine; more neurotic, agreeable, and open; and less dateable,” the authors of the study wrote

By Claudia Harmata
June 22, 2020 03:55 PM

A new study conducted by researchers at Colorado State University has found that women are less likely to swipe right on men if they’re posing with a cat in their dating profiles.

The researchers showed a total of 708 women — aged between 18 and 24 — photos of two men, both posed in two separate photos. One showed them with a cat and the other had them posed without one.

Continue reading “Study Finds Women Are Less Likely to Date Men Who Pose With Cats in Their Dating Profiles​”

Video Games, not Chastity, to Blame for Young Men Not Having Sex, Sociologist Says

(Link): Video Games, not Chastity, to Blame for Young Men Not Having Sex, Sociologist Says by Michael Foust

Excerpts:

April 9, 2019

A leading sociologist says video games – and not a sudden interest in chastity – may be to blame for a dramatic increase in the percentage of young men not having sex.

Continue reading “Video Games, not Chastity, to Blame for Young Men Not Having Sex, Sociologist Says”

Women Bored By Monogamy Says Study by W. Martin

Women Bored By Monogamy Says Study by W. Martin

(Link): The Bored Sex

Excerpts:

February 2019

Women, more than men, tend to feel stultified by long-term exclusivity—despite having been taught that they were designed for it.

…Marta Meana of the University of Nevada at Las Vegas spelled it out simply in an interview with me at the annual Society for Sex Therapy and Research conference in 2017. “Long-term relationships are tough on desire, and particularly on female desire,” she said.

I was startled by her assertion, which contradicted just about everything I’d internalized over the years about who and how women are sexually.

Somehow I, along with nearly everyone else I knew, was stuck on the idea that women are in it for the cuddles as much as the orgasms, and—besides—actually require emotional connection and familiarity to thrive sexually, whereas men chafe against the strictures of monogamy.

 But Meana discovered that “institutionalization of the relationship, over familiarity, and desexualization of roles” in a long-term heterosexual partnership mess with female passion especially—a conclusion that’s consistent with other recent studies.

Continue reading “Women Bored By Monogamy Says Study by W. Martin”

Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein

Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein

(Link): Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex?

Excerpts:

May 12, 2018

Despite the conventional wisdom, sometimes it’s the man who loses sexual desire

Contrary to conventional wisdom, sometimes it’s men who first lose sexual desire in a long-term relationship, a new study finds.

Men’s desire for sex can be as tricky as women’s, according to researchers at the University of Kentucky.

Men often lose interest when they feel insecure, when they worry they are losing autonomy in a relationship, or when physical changes cause embarrassment. Pressure to be the initiator compounds the stress.

Continue reading “Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein”

Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

Secular culture would have you believe that men care about looks in women, while women supposedly only care about money or emotional support from a man, and to that I say: FALSE.

Christians, specifically, Christian gender complementarians, ratchet this up to really emphasize the point.

I’ve heard or seen so many male Christian complementarians (and occasionally, a few women complementarians) hype up this supposed idea that God created men to be “visual,” so they will shame and badger women to stay skinny, diet, exercise, and wear make-up all the time.

The truth is, women are every bit as “visual” as men are. Most hetero women dig a hot, sexy man every bit as much as some hetero men appreciate a hot, sexy woman.

However, complementarians will seldom lecture or advise men to lose weight, go to the gym and work out, or get a toupee if they’re balding.

I think the differences is that most women are willing to cut men slack where as the reverse is not true.

I mean, a woman may prefer a hot, studly looking man, but, if you’re tubby, bald, or sort of ugly she might still be willing to date you if you bring “something else to the table” – such as a lot of money, a steady income, a great sense of humor, intelligence, dependability, or what have you.

I think most women are more wiling to take trade-offs in the “looks” and sex appeal department than most men are.

Other than that, most of both sexes prefer people who are easy on the eyes, but this sexist, irritating stereotype that only men care about looks and only women care about romance (or emotions) persists.

Here is an example of a woman who is turned off by her male partner’s baldness:

(Link): Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

DEAR ABBY:
My physical attraction to my boyfriend has significantly diminished due to his baldness.

I know this may seem shallow, but I have lost all interest in intimate contact with him.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest”

Ask Amy: Wife Says She Is Turned Off By Husband’s Fat Body and Muffin Top

Ask Amy: Wife Says She Is Turned Off By Husband’s Fat Body and Muffin Top

I am publishing this to disprove one or two common stereotypes among conservative Christians: that women are not interested in sex, and women are not “visually oriented.”

Here we have an example of a woman who is sexually turned off by the sight of her husband’s obese body and muffin top. Women do in fact pay attention to what men look like and DO CARE about what men look like, though I’d have to say women are a lot less strict and picky about the looks.

Women might be willing to date a “so-so” looking man, so long as he compensates in other areas, like, he treats her really well, or he has a great sense of humor.

But women do notice and care about what men look like, and women can and do get turned off by flabby male bodies, receding hairlines, and so on.

Letter to Ask Amy advice columnist (Sept 2016):

Dear Amy:

How do I tell the man in my life that his huge muffin top is a turn off for me? He is more than plump, Amy, he is obese.

He blames his diabetes on the fact that he cannot satisfy me sexually, but I maintain that it is his obesity that is the reason he has diabetes.

I do not want to insult him or cause him any embarrassment, but I need to get across to him that he has to lose at least 30 to 40 pounds. Even his daughter gives him grief about his weight.

Please tell me how to talk to him without hurting his feelings.

— Diabetes

You can read Amy’s reply (Link): here or (Link): here


Related Posts:

(Link): The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men & That Women Are Oblivious To, or Don’t Care About, What Men Look Like

(Link):  Men, This Woke Lady Wants You to know You’re “Fatphobic” If You Refuse To Go Out With Her – by NTB Staff

(Link): Dear Advice Lady: My Boyfriend is a Fattie and I Feel Like His Mom

Benevolent Sexism in the Christian Bedroom (Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality) by J. Kamps

Benevolent Sexism in the Christian Bedroom (Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality) by J. Kamps

Some parts of these posts tackle subjects I’ve mentioned before on my blog in the past.

(Link):  It’s my orgasm, not his [part 1] by J. Kamps

(Link): It’s my orgasm, not his [part 2] by J. Kamps

Excerpts from (Link):  It’s my orgasm, not his [part 1] by J. Kamps

Jasmine’s story is an example of Benevolent Sexism. Hostile Sexism is fairly easy to recognise. Benevolent Sexism is sneaky and far more socially pervasive. It parades around wearing a facade of chivalry, making out women to be weaker, lesser, diminished, objectified, by using what are perceived as good manners, male consideration, and role definition.

Benevolent Sexism operates on the fundamental belief that, whether observed in practice or not, there IS a gender hierarchy.

….Benevolent Sexism even uses compliments and praise to disarm and disempower women. “Women are kinder, gentler, naturally more loving. Women are not as strong as men, so they require protection. Women are not as naturally competitive.”

Continue reading “Benevolent Sexism in the Christian Bedroom (Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality) by J. Kamps”

Prudie Counsels a Woman Whose Husband Stopped Initiating Sex. – But Most Christians Teach that Marriage Means Great and Regular Sex.

Prudie Counsels a Woman Whose Husband Stopped Initiating Sex. – But Most Christians Teach that Marriage Means Great and Regular Sex.

A lot of Christian teaching I heard while growing up – and even as an adult  – suggested if you wait until marriage to have sex that the sex would be so worth it, because it would be FREQUENT and GREAT QUALITY.

Lo and behold if that is not the case. Here is the one billionth example on my blog.

Oh, let this go to show that women are interested in sex too, not just men – Christians often falsely teach that only men want and enjoy sex, while they also teach that women only want cuddles and to sip tea.

(Link): Prudie counsels a woman whose husband stopped initiating sex

Q. Husband doesn’t initiate sex anymore:

I’m a 39-year-old woman, and my husband is 43. Our sex life has always been very good, and we each have done our own fair share of initiating.

However, in the past few years, the frequency of sex has really dwindled. Currently, as long as I do all of the initiating, our sex life remains great. If I don’t, no sex for months.

I’ve found myself becoming somewhat resentful, as it makes me feel like he no longer desires me or cares to make an effort. I’ve talked with him a number of times about this, and I only get the same responses over and over.

Continue reading “Prudie Counsels a Woman Whose Husband Stopped Initiating Sex. – But Most Christians Teach that Marriage Means Great and Regular Sex.”