Theology of Convenience, Expediency, and Borne of Culture – Christian Preachers and Writers Diminishing Seriousness of Sexual Sin

Theology of Convenience, Expediency, and Borne of Culture – Christian Preachers and Writers Diminishing Seriousness of Sexual Sin

Because American culture has seen a rise in the number of people, even Christians, using pornography and engaging in other forms of sexual sins, I’ve seen a disturbing and curious trend among some Christians (writers, commentators, preachers) in the last few years to downplay the seriousness of sexual sin, and to try to convince other Christians to just accept sexual sin as a normal part of life and marriage now.

And the people who pay for this lowering of standards is usually women. Women are once more expected, by male Christians, to bear the brunt of male sexual sin. Christians are always asking Christian women to endure and put up with male Christian sexual sin.

A few years ago, I created this post: (Link): Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts and Regnerus believes as such because rates of porn use among Christian men have gone up quite a bit.

Regnerus feels if too many Christian single women refuse to marry Christian male porn users, then Christian marriage will come to a grinding halt, so, he feels, single women are obligated to marry a porn user, even if they really do not want to.

Not only have I seen articles saying that porn viewing has risen among single Christian men, but I’ve seen articles noting it’s on the rise among (Link): married Christian men (and (Link): women too).

Here are a few additional articles with numbers on Christian porn use:

(Link):  Survey: Alarming rate of Christian men look at porn, commit adultery

(Link): NEW SURVEY OF PORN USE: MEN AND WOMEN WATCHING IN STARTLING NUMBERS (2016)

Christian men view porn almost as much as non-Christians

According to the research approximately 64 percent, or two thirds, of U.S. men admit to viewing porn at least monthly, with the number of Christian men nearly equaling the national average. When divided by age “eight out of ten (79%) men between the ages of 18 and 30 view pornography at least monthly, and two thirds (67%) of men between the ages of 31 and 49 view pornography at least monthly. One half of men between 50 and 68 looks at porn monthly.”

The study claims three out of every 10 men between the ages of 18 and 30 are daily viewers of porn; three percent of women in the same age group purportedly access pornography daily.

— end excerpts —

Because sexual sins are running rampant among Christianity these days, it looks to me as though many Christians have given up, and they want to cave in to culture. They basically want to downplay or redefine certain sexual behaviors as not being so bad, not being truly unbiblical, or damaging.

Almost in all examples I have come across like this, where the male Christian writer is downplaying sexual sin or asking women to “put up with it,” the ones promoting these lax views are conservative Christians who believe in sola scriptura.

75 Year Old Politician (Democrat) Fondles Breasts of 103 Mother- in- Law Who Has Dementia

75 Year Old Politician (Democrat) Fondles Breasts of 103 M-I-L Who Has Dementia

(MIL = Mother In Law.)

This is so disgusting. I’m also at a fail to see how my fellow conservatives keep promoting these views that marriage makes makes men more godly and mature, or how being in a nuclear family makes society better in some fashion, when I see news stories of married men who are doing things like fondling elderly women who have dementia.

All the dirt bag in this story is concerned about is that this act has him in trouble and may ruin his career. He doesn’t care that he objectified a woman, and his own MIL, plus, she has dementia. This guy is a sicko.

The article mentions that this guy is a Democrat.

(Link) 75 Year Old Politician Fondles Breasts of 103 MIL Who Has Dementia

A former Pennsylvania politician has been convicted of indecent assault after admitting that he fondled the breasts of his 103-year-old mother-in-law suffering from dementia — the “biggest mistake” of his life, he said.

William Spingler, former commissioner of Radnor Township, said during a hearing Thursday that the “stupid, harmless act” has destroyed his life, (Link):  the Delaware County Daily Times reports.

Man with HIV Charged with Murder After Girlfriend Dies of AIDS

Man with HIV Charged with Murder After Girlfriend Dies of AIDS

American culture inside and outside the church glorifies sex and ridicules celibates, but it looks to me there are sometimes advantages to being celibate, such as…

(Link): Man with HIV Charged with Murder After Girlfriend Dies of AIDS

by AP, June 7, 2017

A married man accused of not telling his longtime girlfriend that he was HIV-positive was charged with murder after the woman died of AIDS.

Stop Telling Single People That We’re Doomed to Be Unhealthy by E. Scott

Stop Telling Single People That We’re Doomed to Be Unhealthy

(Link): Stop Telling Single People That We’re Doomed to Be Unhealthy by E. Scott

All over the internet today, you’ve probably seen some iteration of the following headline: ‘marriage is good for your health, so you’d better hurry up and get hitched unless you want to die young in some horrible way.’

Everyone’s talking about a new bit of research, which suggests that married people have better health than poor, sad, unhealthy singletons.

[Articles suggest that single adults live unhealthier life styles]

Why? Because single people are bloody miserable, apparently.

Pastor, Wife Face Prison After Pleading Guilty to Stealing Thousands From Summer Food Program by L. Blair

Pastor, Wife Face Prison After Pleading Guilty to Stealing Thousands From Summer Food Program

As you can see from this news story, these people were not godly before they married and marriage did not make them godly or more ethical.

God allows jerks and dishonest people to get married all the time.

God does not expect anyone to become more mature, godly, or up-standing before he will send them a spouse. Jerks and losers get married all the time.

Most Christians deny this and tell Christians, “the reason you are still single is God is still preparing you or cleaning you up before he will allow marriage into your life.” If that were true, we would not see dishonest people like the ones in this story get spouses, now would we?

(Link): Pastor, Wife Face Prison After Pleading Guilty to Stealing Thousands From Summer Food Program

Robbie Wilkerson, the founding pastor of New Birth Christian Center church in Chicago, Illinois, and his wife, Tasha, are both set to spend some time in prison along with three of their associates after they plead guilty to defrauding a summer food program for low-income children on Tuesday.

The U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Central District of Illinois announced in a press release that Pastor Wilkerson pled guilty to wire fraud and money laundering while his wife pled guilty to theft of government funds.

Wilkerson, his wife and associates were indicted in 2015 for embezzling approximately $450,000 they received to operate the 2010 Summer Food Service Program. The embezzled amount was more than one-half of the funding for the program.

Married Father of Six, Preacher Matthew Tague, Arrested for Forcibly Molesting a Minor – Christians, Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching

Married Father of Six, Preacher Matthew Tague, Arrested for Forcibly Molesting a Minor – Christians, Dump the Equally Yoked Teaching

So. Christians keep arguing that single adult Christians should only marry other Christians (equally yoked rule).

Next, we have falsehoods in Christianity that single, childless adults are not as godly or mature as married parents. Marriage and parenthood are necessary ingredients to make a person godly, mature, or loving, most Christians teach.

But I have a non-stop parade of married parents who are FREAKS and DEVIANTS listed on this site, who’ve been charged with, or found guilty of things ranging from soliciting prostitutes, to raping kids, to having sex with dogs.

Also, God does not require that a person clean herself up, become perfect, get more ethical or mature, or more pretty, or more ‘whatever’ before God will send that person a spouse.

If God is allowing deviants like alleged child rapist Tague get a wife, there is no reason in holy hell God would not be permitting some Average Smoe, who is living an Average Life (one that does not involve raping kids), to have a spouse, too.

Please, Christians, explain to me how a CHILD RAPIST somehow ‘merits’ a spouse more than someone like me, who doesn’t rape kids! I’d love to hear that explanation. (I may have my flaws, some shortcomings, but raping kids is not one of them!!, holy smokes.)

Don’t tell me that marriage or parenthood makes a person more loving and godly, when I am forever seeing these type of sick, disgusting news stories:

(Link):  Married Pastor Arrested for Child Molestation; Church Asks for Prayers for ‘Justice and Restorative Healing’

(Link):  Carlsbad Pastor Suspected of Molesting Child for a Year

(Link): California pastor accused of forcibly molesting a minor

A California pastor was arrested Wednesday after being accused of forcibly molesting a minor.

San Diego Sheriff’s Department Child Abuse Unit detectives arrested Matthew Tague, 43,  for multiple counts of lewd and lascivious acts with one victim under the age of 14. Two of the counts are forcible, according to Gospel Herald.

San Diego County Sheriff’s Office Lt. Karen Stubkjaer did not disclose the child’s age or gender.

…Tague has been married for 20 years and has six children, three by birth and three adopted.

(Link):  Carlsbad Pastor Accused of Child Molestation Pleads Not Guilty – NBC News

Matthew Tague, a pastor at the North Coast Calvary Chapel, was arrested for 16 counts of lewd and lascivious acts with one minor victim

A pastor at a Carlsbad church accused of repeatedly molesting a child over the course of about a year pleaded not guilty in court Friday.

Thoughts Regarding the Essay “3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing”

Thoughts Regarding the Essay “3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing”

Over at SCCL, this Relevant editorial was under discussion – (Link): here, on Facebook. You may want to read the comments there – this is one of those times I am in agreement with some (or most) of the SCCL commentators

Here is the article itself:

(Link): 3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing by Q. Ross

I feel some of the advice on the page is okay – the author, Ross, basically tells you if you’re a single who wants to be married, go out and live your life – go on a cruise or whatever, don’t just sit around waiting for your life to start. That’s not necessarily bad advice.

In her editorial, Ross coaches singles not to complain about being single, which is a point I don’t agree with. Singles should be permitted to complain about being single if it helps them cope with the hurt, stress, or frustrations of being single, especially if the single in question had wanted to be married.

Singles needs to be heard (included any negative thoughts or emotions they’d like to share about singleness), not shushed by Christians who are uncomfortable with strong emotion. Singles don’t need any more platitudes, either.

Where things go south is where she suggests that if you’re still single, it’s because you have something wrong with you – God, she implies, is waiting for you to meet some kind of criteria before he will send you a spouse.

For example, Ross writes this:

Instead of complaining, show God that you are content with him alone and then maybe He’ll trust you with a relationship. He wants to know that when He does bring someone into your life, you won’t bail on Him and worship the gift rather than the gift-giver.

//end excerpt

As I’ve said time and again on my blog, I’ve seen far too many losers, weirdos, and violent people – whether Christian or not – who get married to believe that God requires people to become wonderful, mature, godly, or what have you, to earn a spouse.

Mom Allegedly Beats Son Who Gave Mother’s Day Card to Grandmother, Not Her

Mom Allegedly Beats Son Who Gave Mother’s Day Card to Grandmother, Not Her

Why, why, why, are so many of my fellow conservatives so doggedly determined to defend a secular holiday which unnecessarily alienates or hurts so many people (such as infertile couples, etc), and things like this happen (and, I find this story to be heart-breaking – the kid was just trying to give his grandmother a card, for pete’s sake):

(Link): Mom allegedly beats son who gave Mother’s Day card to grandmother, not her – May 14, 2017

A South Carolina mother has been accused of beating her young son after the boy made a Mother’s Day card for his grandmother, but not one for her.

Spartanburg Police said Shontrell Murphy, 30, repeatedly hit her 6-year-old son after ripping up the card, Fox Carolina reported.

What If Marriage Is Overrated? – A social psychologist has been chipping away at many claims about marriage changing one’s life for the better

What If Marriage Is Overrated? – A social psychologist has been chipping away at many claims about marriage changing one’s life for the better

(Link):  What If Marriage Is Overrated?  by Jesse Singal
– A social psychologist has been chipping away at many claims about marriage changing one’s life for the better

When I attended the American Psychological Association’s annual conference in Denver last August, the best and most well-attended talk I saw was by (Link): Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, who studies single people.

For years, DePaulo has been chipping away at the commonly held belief — a myth, in her view and according to her research — that marriage offers unique happiness and well-being benefits. These findings are seriously overstated or misleading, DePaulo has argued, and if there weren’t so much intense social pressure to get married, a lot more people would be single, and many of them might be happier as a result.

Children Taken From Maryland Couple After YouTube ‘Prank’ Videos – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Godly, Loving, or Responsible

Children Taken From Maryland Couple After YouTube ‘Prank’ Videos – Parenthood Does Not Make People More Mature, Godly, Loving, or Responsible

Many secular conservatives and Christians go on and on about how nuclear families are necessary for society, they shame or criticize women who do not have children, and they feel that being a parent is necessary to make a person more responsible, mature, or godly. I should know, because I am a right winger. I’ve been a conservative for years, but I think other conservatives really get this stuff wrong.

Every week, I see news stories of parents who neglect or verbally or physically abuse their children – being parents did not make such parents mature, godly, loving, or responsible.

I was verbally abused by my father  and sister growing up, and it’s a very painful thing to endure – my father has mellowed out a tad since growing older (he can still be a little verbally abusive, but not as often as when I was younger), but my sister has gotten worse.

When I was younger, my dad would sometimes pull “pranks” on me similar to what the dad in these You Tube videos was doing to his kids, in addition to run-of-the-mill put-downs where my father would tell me he didn’t value my thoughts, opinions, and basically convey to me he thought I was a loser and a failure.

When you have these sorts of “pranks” pulled on you when you are a kid, they HURT. They make you feel rejected and unloved by the parent doing it. There is nothing funny about it.

The kid is hurt now, but I can guarantee when he gets much older and reflects on this, the anger will come out – most of the hurt will die down, and he will instead be infuriated and resent that his dad did this to him.

What this dad did is cruel. It’s not funny. What they (the father and the stepmother in this story) did is in fact emotional abuse – I’m guessing the mouth-breathing morons behind this You Tube channel (the Martin parents) only regard physical strikes as “abuse.” WRONG. Abuse can be emotional / verbal.

So. I feel sorry for the kids in the story below – I know what it’s like to be verbally and emotionally abused, to have pranks done to me and cruel words said to me under the guise it’s just “joking around” and so on.

Christians and secular right wingers need to let go of this idea that marriage and parenting are necessary to make people productive, mature, good people – that’s clearly NOT THE CASE.

The New York Times ran (Link): this Tweet today:

“The couple verbally berated their 5 children, often to the point of tears, then racked up millions of YouTube views”

…Children Taken From Maryland Couple After YouTube ‘Prank’ Videos … The parents first defended the videos, posted on the DaddyOFive (You Tube channel) …

Here are some more links about it:

(Link):  YouTube prank parents lose custody of their kids

(Link):  DaddyOFive parents lose custody ‘over YouTube pranks

(Link):  These YouTube parents pulled disturbing ‘pranks’ on their kids. Now, they’ve lost custody.

The videos on DaddyOFive’s YouTube channel were hard to watch. In one, parents Heather and Mike Martin scream at 9-year-old Cody, accusing him of spilling ink on the ground. (He didn’t spill anything, and the stains on the carpet were from trick ink).

Another shows Cody being shoved into a bookcase. In a third, the dad encourages one of his sons to slap 11-year-old Emma, the only girl among the five children in the family.

He does, hard enough to make Emma cry.

When the broader YouTube community found out about the channel, there was an angry uprising. And now, the once-estranged birth mother of Cody and Emma has emergency custody of her two kids.

(Link):   YouTubers who made kids cry with extreme prank lose custody

(Link):  Cruel YouTube father and stepmom who filmed themselves telling their nine-year-old son he was going to be adopted and smashing his X-box lose custody of their two children

• Maryland parents Mike and Heather Martin have a YouTube channel in which their two youngest children are often the victim of cruel pranks
• The parents of five had been under fire for an April video pranking their son, Cody, nine
• Stepmom Heather squirted disappearing ink all over son Cody’s bedroom carpet
• Parents bawl him out, then reveal the joke and make him plug their channel
• They released an apology video in April, but still said the kids were in on the ‘pranks’ 
• The parents lost custody of Mike’s two children, Cody, nine, and Emma, 12
• Cody and Emma’s biological mom, Rose Hall, says the children are being ‘deprogrammed’ from the abuse

Mother of 5 Comes Out as a Man, Her Only Son Becomes a Girl and Husband Says It’s OK – by L. Blair

Mother of 5 Comes Out as a Man, Her Only Son Becomes a Girl and Husband Says It’s OK

Links to most the articles about this are farther below – here is one:

(Link): Mother and Son Are Becoming Father and Daughter

So. There are a lot of U.S., conservative Christians who run around insisting that marriage (and parenthood) is necessary to make a person more mature and godly.

Many conservative Christians also feel that a person has to be perfect, or achieve some amount of godliness (or maturity or some other great qualities) before God will grant that person a spouse.

If all that were so, please explain to me how it is that the biological woman in this story (who considers herself a man now) was able to marry, and how it is that being a parent makes her a more morally upstanding, mature, or whatever other quality, then someone like me, who has never had a kid?

Conservative Christians also teach that The Nuclear Family will restore America – well, here you have a Nuclear Family, a woman married to a guy with a kid or two, who are now transgender.

How exactly did being a Nuclear Family restore America, in this case, or restore “Family Values” or “Christian values”?

‘Sex Starved Wife’ Cuts Off Her Husband’s PENIS After He Refused to Make Love to Her for Ten Years

‘Sex Starved Wife’ Cuts off Her Husband’s PENIS After He Refused to Make Love to Her for Ten Years

Well, this certainly helps put another dent in the Christian gender stereotype that women are not interested in sex, that only men are.

When I see news stories like this, I also sometimes think, “Maybe being single isn’t so bad.”

I also think that stories like this go to show that the Christian propaganda about people needing to be perfect before God will bless them with a spouse is obviously a crock, and, marriage does NOT make every one more mature, godly, and loving.

(Link): ‘Sex Starved Wife’ Cuts off Her Husband’s PENIS After He Refused to Make Love to Her for Ten Years

A wife in India has cut off her husband’s penis after he refused to have sex with her for more than a decade.

Rita Yadav, 28, attacked her husband Ved Prakash, 31, at their home in Khora Colony, in Ghaziabad, Uttar Pradesh, in northern India, on Thursday morning.

She claimed he had refused to have sex with her for ten years of their 11-year marriage and she believed he was having an affair.

‘He used to tell me he hated me,’ the housewife said.

‘We used to fight daily and he told me he hated looking at my face.

‘He always threatened he would have an affair. I was desperate to have children.

‘I used to beg him but he said he’d make love to someone else instead.

‘I’d been dealing with the torture for years and I couldn’t take any more.’

When Ved, a taxi driver, arrived home from his night shift yesterday morning he went straight into the shower.

But as he stepped out Yadav hit him over the head with a stone grinder and he fell unconscious.

She then used a kitchen knife and slashed his penis.

Yadav locked him in the bathroom and she then handed herself into the local police station.

Ved regained consciousness after 30 minutes and called his friend in agony, who immediately took him to Jaypee Hospital.

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Related Posts:

(Link):   Frustrated Husband Chops Off His Genitals With A Knife After His Wife Hadn’t Had Sex With Him For A DECADE

(Link):   Married Christian Man Says He’s Been in Sexless Marriage for Nineteen Years and Is Not Happy About It

(Link): Resident Christian Marriage Advice Writer at Christian Mag Admits Some Christian Marriages are Sexless

(Link): More Married Couples Admit to Sexless Marriages (various articles) / Christians promise you great frequent sex if you wait until marriage, but the propaganda is not true

(Link): AARP post: How to Handle a Sexless Married Life – But Christians Promise You Great Hot Regular Married Sex

 

Dad Admits Killing 3-Year-Old Daughter After She Suffered Sickening Sexual Abuse So Violent She Bled Into a Diaper – Parenthood Does Not Make Adults More Godly or Loving

Dad Admits Killing 3-Year-Old Daughter After She Suffered Sickening Sexual Abuse So Violent She Bled Into a Diaper

Link to the news story of the father who abused his daughter is farther below.

As I was just remarking in my post right before this one:

Many times, conservative Christians and my fellow social conservatives and right wingers like to insist that parenthood (and marriage) is necessary to ‘fix’ culture or to make people more mature, responsible, and godly.

Problem is, parenthood and marriage does not necessarily make anyone more mature, ethical, and so on, than someone who is single, who never marries, or who never has children.

On this blog, I have link after link (in (Link): other posts on the blog) showcasing numerous real-life examples of married people and/or parents who cheat on each other, abuse children, get arrested for child porn, for soliciting prostitutes, for murdering their spouses or kids, and on and on.

There is nothing intrinsic in the state of being married or being a parent that makes a person more likely to be responsible, mature, or loving. If that were so, Jesus Christ would not have said that humanity’s problem is sin (Jesus Christ did not cite being single and childless as the cause of problems in the world).

WARNING: STORY BELOW CONTAINS GRAPHIC CONTENT

(Link): Dad Admits Killing 3-Year-Old Daughter After She Suffered Sickening Sexual Abuse So Violent she Bled Into a Diaper

A father has admitted manslaughter over the death of his daughter, 3, after she suffered sexual abuse so violent she bled into a nappy [diaper].

Matthew Lee Williamson also ordered his flatmate to hide a bong before he phoned emergency services after he discovered Kyhesha-Lee Joughin dead in his home four years ago, a court heard.

Williamson has pleaded guilty to manslaughter in the Supreme Court in Brisbane, Australia, on the basis he failed to provide medical treatment for the girl when he found her body in March 2013.

But he has denied physically or sexually abusing the child and blames his housemate, it was reported.

TV News Report: Most Johns Are MARRIED Men, and Public Shaming Most Effective Deterrent of Sex Crimes

TV News Report: Most Johns Are MARRIED Men, and Public Shaming Most Effective Deterrent of Sex Crimes

According to this Christian-based news report I saw on TV earlier today, men caught in this sex sting operation by the police are usually MARRIED (and white, middle aged, and college educated).

The report also said that PUBLIC SHAMING over buying sex was the biggest deterrent for men who are considering buying sex – the cops in this area were publishing photos and names of men who are caught soliciting sex (via under-cover cops posing as prostitutes).

This is all very interesting, as we have many conservative Christians who deploy propaganda stating either that married people are more mature and godly than singles, or that (in the reverse) single adults are all a bunch of harlots and immature dolts who need to get married to shape up.

Then we have liberals and squishy conservative Christians who feel everyone everywhere should cease and desist with shaming anyone over any sort of sin or crime – your liberal feminists in particular go ape crazy over “slut shaming.”

This sort of thinking has infiltrated the Christian community, where we now see bonkers editorials and opinions from Christians, on forums, blogs, and Facebook groups, railing against the concept of staying a virgin until marriage, or being celibate.

But here we have a report stating that SHAMING people over their SEXUAL CHOICES (in terms of the johns, the customers) works to REDUCE prostitution rates.

(Link):  Stopping the Sex Trade, One Buyer at a Time by H. Sells

Excerpts:

SARASOTA, Fla.  – Across the country more than 1,000 towns and counties are stepping up tactics to deter men who buy sex. They include seizing vehicles, community service, “john” school, license suspension, public shaming and reverse stings.

Research shows that strategies like the reverse stings can reduce prostitution in a city by as much as 75 percent.

Divorcing Couple Divides Their Beanie Baby (stuffed animal) Collection

Divorcing Couple Divides Their Beanie Baby (stuffed animal) Collection

I am a conservative myself. Many conservative Christians and secular conservatives like to teach the falsehood that marriage is necessary to make people more mature, responsible, and godly.

Well, obviously, that is a total crock, as stories like this attest (and see (Link): this collection of stories). I totally disagree with my fellow conservatives who teach that one must be married to be “mature” (or better, more loving, what have you), since I repeatedly see news stories publicizing the contrary: married people can be selfish or immature jerks.

(Link): Photo of divorced couple splitting up their Beanie Babies is peak ’90s by B. Wong

(photo on page shows divorcing couple on the floor in the courtroom, dividing a huge pile of beanie baby toys)

The caption reads:

Nov 5, 1999, Las Vegas, Nevada, USA: Attorney Frank Totti looks over papers while his client Frances Mountain sorts out Beanie Babies with her ex-husband Harold Mountain in Judge Gerald Hardcastle’s Family Courtroom in Las Vegas November 5.

The couple, who were divorced four months ago, were ordered to divide up the collection valued at $2,500 to $5000 but were unable to do so by themselves.

The collection was ordered spread on the court floor and divided up one by one under the supervision of Family Court Judge Hardcastle.

Maple the Bear was the first to go.

Cost of Maple Bear today on Amazon .com: $6.34.

The surreal photo surfaced on Facebook this week after first appearing in (Link): a Slate piece on the Beanie Babies craze — and thank goodness it did. May we never forget how obsessed we all were with small stuffed animals 18 years ago.

Pat Robertson Basically Tells Woman Married to Lazy, Dead Beet, Idiot, Jerk-Face Man That Her Only Option is Separation (Not Divorce)

(The 700 Club episode I am discussing in this post: Air date Feb 21, 2017)

Women of America are STILL writing Pat Robertson for relationship advice. A phenomenon which prompted me to write this months ago:

(Link):  Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single 

For the love of pickles, people of America, stop sending this guy your questions about dating, love, marriage, and divorce! Anyway.

Regarding the first letter on the video: Contra Pat Robertson, the Bible does NOT teach that the “husband is the head of the household.”

Don’t believe me? Then please check out the resources at (Link): this site, (Link): this site, or (Link): this site

But I am writing this post in regards to the second or third letter on this video (embedded below; Link to Video, You Tube).

Additional commentary by me is below this letter:

[Dear Pat]

My husband and I have been married for 21 years but have been together for 28.

We have two children, ages 26 and 25. Our 25 year old son is autistic and mentally disabled and needs constant care.

I alone care for our son.

My husband does not work or help in anyway. I struggle to make ends meet.

Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest by B DePaulo

Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest

I can tell you that my fellow conservatives won’t like this news at all. Neither will the Christians who are into complementarianism and who like to shame singles for being single, who like to promote the studies that say that staying single will cause a person to be miserable or die younger.

(Southern Baptist Al Mohler loves to push those views (Link): on his blog. It’s sickening.)

Anyway, here is this from B. DePaulo:

(Link): Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest by B. DePaulo

Excerpts:

A (Link): new study, soon to be published in the Journal of Women’s (Link): Health, provides fresh evidence that people who stay single instead of getting married, or who get divorced instead of staying married, are especially likely to be healthy.

….Here’s what changed when unmarried women (whether divorced, separated, or always single) got married:

• After they got married, their BMI (body mass index) increased.
• After they got married, they drank more.
• After they got married, their systolic blood pressure increased.
• Diastolic blood pressure decreased over the three-year period for those who stayed single and those who married, but it decreased less in those who got married.

Here’s what changed when married women got divorced or separated, compared to the women who stayed married:

• BMI (body mass index) decreased for the women who got divorced.
• Waist size decreased for the women who got divorced.

(( click here to read the rest ))

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Related Posts:

(Link):  More Anti-Singleness Bias From Southern Baptist Al Mohler – Despite the Bible Says It Is Better Not To Marry 

(Link):   Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

(Link):   Preacher Says in Sermon that Single Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Who Have Retarded Spirits and This Creates Dating Problems for Women

(Link): Conservative Christians Are Now Blaming Homosexual Marriage on Heterosexual Single Adults

(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One

(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible

(Link): The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link): Preachers and Christian Media Personalities: Re: Marriage – You’re missing the point stop trying to argue or shame singles into getting married

(Link): Christian Teachings on Relationships: One Reason Singles Are Remaining Single (even if they want to get married)

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link): Theme Park Bans Single Adults For Fear They Are All Pedophiles

(Link):  Stigmas and Stereotypes of Single Unmarried Men Over 25 or 30 Years of Age – They’re Supposedly All Homosexual or Pedophiles

(Link):  Christian Blogger About Divorce, Pastor Andrew Webb, Thinks All To Most Mid-Life Never – Married or Single – Again Adults Are Mal-Adjusted, Ugly Losers Who Have Too Much Baggage

(Link): Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies, Hails Pedo as a “Hero” – Meanwhile, Many Churches  Refuse to Allow Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions

Death, Grief, Marriage, Single Again, Soul Sleep, Christianity, Obnoxious Male Fixation on Female Looks

Death, Grief, Marriage, Single Again, Soul Sleep, Christianity, Obnoxious Male Fixation on Female Looks

I have several topics I’d like to address here. I’m going to discuss death, grief, dating, how men are too fixated on women’s looks, etc, and so on, all in the same post.

I learned from watching the Christian program “It is Written” today (Feb 2017) that the wife of Christian TV host Mike Tucker, Gayle, died. I’m not sure when the episode was first filmed or first aired.

You can read a transcript of that episode, “From Grief To Hope” (Link, off site): here.

You might be able to watch that very episode or one like it here: (Link, off site): Coping with Grief.

I see from an online obit that Gayle Tucker passed away in April 2016.

I am sorry for his loss.

I lost my mother, and it hurt a lot.

(Link, off site):  Gayle Tucker, Beloved Marriage Counselor on Faith For Today TV, Dead at 60

April 2016 –  The prominent Adventist television personality dies after a brief struggle with pancreatic cancer.

(Link, off site):   Beloved Christian TV Host, Couples’ Counselor Dead at 60

I learned a few years ago that the hosts and backers of “It Is Written” are SDAs (Seventh Day Adventists).

I also learned from a glance over google search results that Mike Tucker is a Seventh Day Adventist.

Part of SDA theology is something called “Soul Sleep,” a view that I totally disagree with and find discouraging and cruel.

Complementarian and Pro Family Values Christians Claim to be Pro Woman and Pro Family But By Their Actions Show They Are Not

Complementarian and Pro Family Values Christians Claim to be Pro Woman and Pro Family But By Their Actions Show They Are Not

Complementarians claim to be respectful of women, but their theological views help to enable mistreatment of women and bar women from taking positions and roles that should go to them, if they have the skills, talents, and education.

Many Christians claim to be pro “Family Values” but in reality treat children and women (you know, who tend to be parts of families) like dirt.

Here are some posts explaining in detail or giving examples:

First post:

(Link):  When I Became a Single Mother, Patriarchy Let Me Down by Bridget Jack Jeffries (excerpts from this first link farther below)

Second post:

And by way of WW – that is (Link): Wartburg Watch – (from a February 2017 post entitled, “Ignite: Remove Alleged Rapist, Ben Roethlisberger, and Joe White, Who Is Being Sued for Child Sex Abuse Cover Up, From the Speaker Lineup!”)

Christian Liberty University is holding something called “Ignite,” which pertains to advocating godly manhood or family values, or some such. One of Ignite’s scheduled speakers is a guy named Ben Roethlisberger, who is accused of rape by at least three different women. The guy is, or was, a football player.

A sub-heading on the WW page reads: “The troubling history of rape allegations against Ben Roethlisberger”

The WW blog owners in turn link to this page in  their post about this guy here:

(Link):   Without Consequence: When Professional Athletes Are Violent Off the Field

So, a Christian university is allowing an accused rapist to speak at an event that is purportedly about encouraging men to lead godly lives.

Why Single People Can’t Catch a Break by B DePaulo

Why Single People Can’t Catch a Break by B DePaulo

(Link): Why Single People Can’t Catch a Break by B DePaulo

Excerpts

Single people are often (Link): stereotyped: Numerous studies conducted (Link): in the U.S. and elsewhere show that people think many singles are miserable, isolated, selfish, and doomed to lives that are nasty, brutish, and short.

But individuals who hold disparaging views of single people are wrong. As I’ve discussed many times (Link): before, scientific (Link): research does not support the myths about the superiority of married people.

So why do people cling to harsh beliefs about single people? Here are four reasons, suggested by scientific studies: