Mom Left Husband of 14 Years for ‘Soul Mate’ – Only to Be Rejected

Mom Left Husband of 14 Years for ‘Soul Mate’ – Only to Be Rejected

One thing I’ve never understood about secular and Christian conservatives who are too unrealistic about marriage (and the nuclear family) is how they can continue to view marriage (or parenthood, the nuclear family) through such rose-colored glasses, when we all know people who married and/or had children, but marriage or parenthood left them miserable.

Maybe the person they married turned out to be emotionally or physically abusive, or marriage turned out to be unfulfilling. Maybe their spouse committed adultery on numerous occasions.

Let the story below show once again that the Christian, pro-Nuclear family narrative that “marriage makes people more godly, loving, ethical and mature” is a bunch of hooey.

Marriage didn’t make the woman below, who dumped her long time husband for a hottie she met earlier, more “mature” or less selfish or more ethical.

Whatever the specifics, marriage and parenthood sometimes turn out to be horrible or disappointing.

(A reminder: I am not opposed to marriage, parenthood, or the nuclear family – I’m only opposed to a culture, Christian or secular, that pressure or shame people into having kids, getting married, and treats people who do not marry or have kids, for whatever reason, like failures, weirdos, or garbage.)

(Link): Mom left husband of 14 years for ‘soul mate’ — only to be rejected

by Andrew Court
May 9, 2022

It takes two souls to tango.

A mom of two has been mocked on social media after revealing she left her longtime husband for a man she believed to be her “soul mate” — only for him to promptly reject her.

Amanda Trenfield has been described by critics as a “self-destructive sociopath” for writing about the emotional saga in her new book, “When A Soulmate Says No.”

An excerpt from the tome, published in the Sydney Morning Herald last week, sparked ridicule from readers who claimed the rejection was karma for the fact she had blown up her own marriage.

“She ruined her life for nothing! One of the biggest losses we’ve ever seen,” one reader quipped with glee.

In the extract, Trenfield describes an electric encounter with her so-called soul mate, which occurred while she was at a dinner party with her husband.

Florida Strip Club in Lawsuit Over Refusing Entry to Single Women

Florida Strip Club in Lawsuit Over Refusing Entry to Single Women

Strip clubs are sexist, so I don’t know why any woman, single or married, would want to attend one – but putting that aside – I am not fine with businesses who discriminate against single adults.

I have a few more examples on my blog of restaurants, parks, and other venues that harass single adults for showing up single. It’s not okay to do this. 

(Link): Florida strip club in lawsuit over refusing entry to single women – most of this article is behind a pay wall

(Link): Women denied entry at Rachel’s strip club will take case to state Supreme Court — again  – behind a pay wall

(Link): Two women were told they couldn’t enter a strip club without a man, sparking a constitutional battle in Florida – behind a pay wall (Washington Post)

About a different incident (also mentions the club in Florida):

(Link): Women Say Strip Clubs Turned Them Away Without Men

By Sandra Esquivel and Myriam Masihy
Published May 7, 2018 

Heather Cox and her wife, Sonia Otalvaro, wanted a fun night out when they went to Dean’s Club in North Miami Beach. But they say they never got past the front door.

“We said, ‘Yeah, we want to come in,’ and they said, ‘You can’t,’ and I was very confused by that answer,” recounted Cox. “So I asked again, ‘What do you mean we can’t? You have to be accompanied by a man’ they said.”

The couple, who was visiting from San Francisco, says they called an attorney to sue the club for violating Miami Dade County code that prohibits discrimination based on “gender or sexual orientation.”

Man Paid to Have His Wife Killed Over Lack of Sex: Lawyers – Husband Also Had Hitman Kill the Man’s Pet Pug Dogs, Beat Dogs to Death With a Hammer

Man Paid to Have His Wife Killed Over Lack of Sex: Lawyers – Husband Also Had Hitman Kill the Man’s Pet Pug Dogs, Beat Dogs to Death With a Hammer

Basically, a lot of complementarian Christian men feel the same way this man, Edward Heck, does: they feel entitled to sex from their wives.

The erroneous biblical interpretations that lead men (and some women) to support “gender complementarianism” lead to these types of views about marriage, sex, and women.

I can see Christian persons like Lori Alexander (of “The Transformed Wife”), Mark Driscoll, John MacArthur, John Piper, Owen Strachan, Denny Burk, Douglas Wilson, and many members of “CBMW” defending this man’s actions and blaming the (murdered) wife.

(We also have problems with unmarried men, of whatever religious beliefs, who feel entitled to sex from any woman, and they go on murderous rampages when women refuse to date or to have sex with them).

The hired hit man not only killed the man’s wife, but one article also says that he “brutally murdered” the husband’s (who hired the hit man) pet dogs by beating them to death with a hammer – one article says that killing the dogs was also part of the plan by the husband – so the husband approved of the dogs being killed by the hit man.

I despise animal abusers, and yes, he and the husband should pay for killing the wife (obviously), but that both men also killed dogs means their death by the state should be very, very extra painful – perhaps shoving them alive, awake, into a wood chipper could be one possible solution to that.

This news story also goes to contradict the dating advice articles I used to see by Christians years ago that conveyed the notion that a single adult has to achieve some level of perfection or godliness or else God won’t send the person a spouse. If dirt bags like this loser can get married, anyone can – obviously if there is a deity, He is not expecting moral perfection or some other quality to be achieved before He permits people to marry.

Also note that contrary to Christian and secular conservative pro-marriage groups and persons – such as Al Mohler, Brad Wilcox, and Focus On the Family – that marriage does not make people more godly, loving, responsible, ethical, or loving.

Aaaannnnd… married sex is not a guarantee for great or frequent sex, as so many Christian sexual purity material insists. I am not against sexual purity, but I do think a lot of Christians have “over-promised” in this area.

(Link): Pa. man admits hiring hit man to kill his sleeping wife, is sentenced to life in prison

(Link): Man Paid to Have His Wife Killed Over Lack of Sex: Lawyers

May 2, 2022
By Genevieve Gluck

A Pennsylvania husband who hired a hitman through a porn site to kill his wife, allegedly because she wasn’t sexually available enough, is now claiming “diminished mental capacity” at his trial for her murder.

Edward Heck, 56, paid Kenneth Wayne Smith $10,000 to kill his wife, Sonja Rowe-Heck, in August of 2018.

Smith and Heck met on Motherless, a site which hosts extreme fetish pornography and snuff videos. Smith had posted in the comment section to a video that he had a fetish for killing, and Heck replied, “How about my wife?”

(Link): According to local news, the two men had been conversing on social media for about 18 months before the planned murder.

Text messages reviewed by authorities included those in which Heck said he fantasized about someone raping and strangling his wife. In messages to Smith, Heck stated that he hated his wife, called her offensive names, and complained about the fact the two did not share a bedroom.

On the day of the murder, Heck brought Smith to his home and helped him hide in the cellar. While there, Smith brutally murdered Heck’s two dogs. At about 1:50 a.m. on August 16, Heck texted Smith saying, “the time has come.”

Divorce Papers Reveal Lysa TerKeurst’s Husband Spent Over $100K on Extramarital Affair

Divorce Papers Reveal Lysa TerKeurst’s Husband Spent Over $100K on Extramarital Affair

Christians are so wrong about marriage in some ways – some of them fall into the old school secular take, which is, you won’t be fully, really happy, or be a true, full fledged adult and “complete,” until you marry.

You can “equally yoked” all you want to, but even should you marry a Christian (if you’re a Christian) it is not a guarantee that your marriage or married sex will be great, loving, or wonderful.

Your Christian spouse may turn out to be abusive or a serial adulterer.

You are far better off being single and staying single than you are in marrying a guy like this lady ended up marrying in the news story below.

Also: contrary to old school Christian dating advice, you don’t have to be perfect to get a spouse.
That so many murderous or abusive scum buckets manage to marry in the first place (even the self professing Christian ones) should tell you that God is not making your obedience, level of godliness( or whatever else), some kind of criteria or requirement before he will send you a spouse.

(Link): Divorce Papers Reveal Lysa TerKeurst’s Husband Spent Over $100K on Extramarital Affair

By Leah MarieAnn Klett, Assistant Editor
April 29, 2021

A recent court filing has shed light on the divorce proceedings between Proverbs 31 Ministries founder Lysa TerKeurst and her husband, Art, including evidence the latter spent over $100,000 of the couple’s money on an “illicit sexual” extramarital affair with a woman he met online.

Lysa TerKeurst filed for divorce in December 2021 and publicly announced her decision in January, revealing her husband of nearly three decades had engaged in “chosen patterns of behavior that dishonor God and the biblical covenant of marriage.” The couple has five adult children together.

British Couple Whose French B&B Dream Ended in Tragedy When Husband ‘Strangled His Wife in Murder-Suicide’ After They Ran Out of Money

British Couple Whose French B&B Dream Ended in Tragedy When Husband ‘Strangled His Wife in Murder-Suicide’ After They Ran Out of Money

The mind boggles – you run out of funds, so you off your spouse and yourself??? What???

Better to be single than married to a guy who thinks it’s acceptable to strangle you to death when your finances go down the drain.

(Link): British Couple Whose French B&B Dream Ended in Tragedy When Husband ‘Strangled His Wife in Murder-Suicide’ After They Ran Out of Money

by Nick Fagge
April 26, 2022

These are the first pictures of a British couple whose dream of opening a bed and breakfast in the foothills of the Pyrenees Mountains ended in tragedy when they ran out of money.

French investigators believe John Boyes, 64, strangled his wife Kathryn, 65, to death before hanging himself at their picturesque countryside home near Toulouse in the south of France which they had planned to open as a bed and breakfast.

The couple were found dead inside the property in Boudrac, a village with a population of around 130 people, on Sunday after concerned friends who had not heard from them in several days went to investigate.

Pastor’s Wife Pleads Guilty to Asking Their Threesome Lover to Murder Her Pastor Husband

Pastor’s Wife Pleads Guilty to Asking Their Threesome Lover to Murder Her Pastor Husband

Is this death by complementarianism? It sounds like it may be death by complementarianism, or at least, that is what the wife seems to be indicating.

Does being married make a person more godly, loving, responsible, or ethical? No, no it does not, Jim Daily, Al Mohler, Brad Wilcox and other hyper marriage pushers, it does not.

Does one have to be perfect, godly, and really great before God will allow that person to have a spouse? No – that’s simply not the case, contrary to what all the Christian dating advice books and Christian magazine articles from the 1980s and 1990s said.

God can forsee you being a murderer, and He is still delighted to send a spouse into your life (or permit this) – even a spouse you will end up murdering after your perverted, threesome romps in Motel 6!

Also, sadly, contrary to what my parents taught me as I was growing up, church may NOT be the best place for a single woman to meet eligible men to date and marry, since
1.) most churches lack single men and
2.) the ones who do attend end up being perverts, like the abusive “swinger” in the news report in this post.

The guy murdered in this news story worked as a preacher, and his wife claims he forced her into threesomes and that he was verbally abusive.

(Link): Oklahoma Pastor’s Midnight Execution Unravels Secret Threesome Love Affair

Last Sunday, David Evans warned his parishioners that the devil was trying to “kill them.” But police say there was something sinister much closer to home.

March 2021
by Pilar Melendez

Hours before Oklahoma pastor David Charles Evans was fatally shot in his bed on Monday morning, the 50-year-old warned his parishioners that the devil would seek to “destroy and kill them” for witnessing God’s power.

“Sometimes, I just stop and think. If the devil is not attacking you with everything he’s got in trying to destroy and kill you, maybe [it’s] because you’re not the reason anybody is believing in Jesus. And as a pastor and just as a Christian, what a waste,” he said in a sermon at the Harmony Free Will Baptist Church last Sunday, delivered shortly after he returned from a mission trip to Mexico.

… But police say something sinister was closer to home for Evans. The following day, his wife had her lover shoot Evans in the head, even after an affair that, at one point, involved the pastor, police allege.

… Authorities say that Kristie Evans asked Square to kill her husband in a sinister plot the two hatched while the pastor was away in Mexico. According to an affidavit, obtained by The Daily Beast, the mother-of-three later told police her husband “was verbally abusive and controlling of her” and “called her names like ‘slut, fat, ugly, and whore.’”

…“Kristie and David first met Kahlil months ago at a Super 8 Motel,” the affidavit states. The trio had sex at the Super 8 Motel on more than one occasion.

Mom Dumped in Son’s Hockey Bag Allegedly Had Affair With Handyman Accused of Killing Her: Police

Mom Dumped in Son’s Hockey Bag Allegedly Had Affair With Handyman Accused of Killing Her: Police 

Not saying this woman ‘deserved’ to be murdered by this guy she had the affair with, but if she hadn’t have had an affair, maybe this would not have happened to her.

So… does being married make a person immune from sexual sin? Why no, it does not. Does being married make a person more godly, responsible, or ethical (as many hyper pro marriage advocates teach, such as Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox)? Nope, it does not.

This news story, and ones like it, also betray a common Christian teaching that married sex is so totally awesome (especially if you wait until marriage to have sex) that you will never, ever seek sex outside the marriage. Obviously, that is not so, because I frequently see news stories of married people who commit adultery.

I do feel very bad for her children – they will be without a mother now.

(Link):  David Bonola, suspected handyman lover, charged in Orsolya Gaal murder

April 21, 2022

The handyman lover of Queens mom Orsolya Gaal was charged Thursday with her murder – and police said he committed the “horrendous” crime during a fight her over their recently-ended on-off affair of two years.

David Bonola, 44, was already on the NYPD’s radar Wednesday evening when officers canvassing for surveillance video spotted him near the crime scene and took him back to the 112th precinct.

There, Bonola made “incriminating statements” about the slaying, NYPD Chief of Detectives James Essig said at a press conference.

He was charged with murder, criminal tampering and criminal possession of a weapon for allegedly stabbing Gaal, 51, nearly 60 times in the basement of her Forest Hills home with a kitchen knife early on Saturday, cops said.

…Bonola, who cops said has no prior arrests, was “a handyman who was employed by Mrs. Gaal” for about two years — and during that time they had “an intimate affair,” Essig revealed Thursday.

They had re-sparked their on-off affair earlier this month, just to break up again — and Bonola “came back … to speak about the relationship again,” added Chief Julie Morrill, who led the investigation.

(Link): Mom dumped in son’s hockey bag allegedly had affair with handyman accused of killing her: Police

Orsolya Gaal, 51, was stabbed dozens of times, according to police.

by Emily Shapiro

A New York City mother found stabbed to death inside a duffel bag was allegedly killed by a handyman she’d been having an off-and-on affair with for two years, the NYPD said.

The suspect, David Bonola, was arrested just before 1 a.m. Thursday, days after he allegedly dumped Orsolya Gaal‘s body in her son’s hockey bag, police said at a news conference Thursday.

I’m a Dominatrix and Most of My Clients Are Married – Women Would Be Horrified if They Knew What Their Husbands Are Doing by K. Bond

I’m a Dominatrix and Most of My Clients Are Married – Women Would Be Horrified if They Knew What Their Husbands Are Doing by K. Bond

This entire article made me want to barf.  🤮

This woman says that some of her clients are married men who have children… and they like having her shove objects up their (their = the married men who are also fathers) buttholes. They are gross perverts.

I see stuff like this and think, “You know, being single really isn’t so bad.”

Also: being married doesn’t, contrary to hyper-marriage-promoters such as Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox – make people more godly, ethical, or mature. Marriage actually seems to have the reverse effect on some people.

As I’ve said on previous posts, Christians need to emphasize that chastity (sexual purity) is for married people also, not just for singles.

When, on those rare occasions, preachers bother to address sexual purity, it’s usually from the perspective of they assume single adults are boinking around.

Preachers who give sermons mentioning sexual purity, or Christian authors who mention sexual purity in their books or blog posts, never, ever stop to consider that a lot of married people are doing perverted things like hiring Dominatrixes (Dominatrices? Have no idea how to spell that) to do things like shove objects up their anuses.

(Link): I’m a Dominatrix and Most of My Clients Are Married – Women Would Be Horrified if They Knew What Their Husbands Are Doing

April 7, 2022
by K. Bond

Sandy Star has a busy day at work ahead, but unlike many of us, she won’t be sat in an office, heading to meetings and doing a tea round.

Instead, the 47-year-old will be getting her rope, feathers and vibrators ready as a number of curious men swing by to experience a steamy session with a dominatrix.

Vermont Man Gets 27 Years for ‘Vile’ Films of Man Killed, Boy Being Tortured (This Guy Was Married)

Vermont Man Gets 27 Years for ‘Vile’ Films of Man Killed, Boy Being Tortured (This Guy Was Married)

This article says that this man was formerly married (it mentions his ex-wife).

What is one thing we can deduce from this, and the many other gross news stories like this on my blog? We can deduce that marriage (and parenthood) does not make people more ethical, godly, loving, and mature, as is often the claim made by pro-Nuclear Family, pro-natalism, pro-Marriage Christians and conservatives.

(Disclaimer: I am not “anti family” or “anti marriage,” I happen to be a conservative, but I realize that too many other conservatives have turned marriage, the family, and parenthood into idols.)

Not only is this guy a piece of garbage, but so too is the woman who went along with this – he paid her to torture and kill people for money.

That dirt bags like this guy ever got married in the first place (though later divorced) also shows the flaw in the dating and marital advice books I used to read by Christians in my teens and 20s: such books would usually tell the single adult reader that if she wanted to marry, that she would have to reach a level of perfection, or godliness, or some other kind of quality, before God would “bless” or “grant” her with a spouse.

Such Christian teachings make it sound as though marriage is something only the deserving can or should achieve, that getting married is based upon one’s worthiness, etc.

In light of the fact that psychopaths like the one in the news story below ever got married reveals that no, marriage is not something one has to strive or earn; you don’t have to achieve some level of sainthood to be worthy of a spouse, so spare me on that one, Christians.

(Link): Vermont Man Gets 27 Years for ‘Vile’ Films of Man Killed, Boy Being Torture (This Guy Was Married)

March 31, 2022
By  Joshua Rhett Miller

A Vermont man who admitted to paying a Venezuelan woman to kidnap “a slave” and film a sick video of the victim being tortured and suffocated to death was sentenced to 27 years in prison.

Sean Fiore, 38, of Burlington, was sentenced Wednesday after pleading guilty in October to charges of conspiracy to kidnap and kill a person overseas, murder-for-hire and child pornography in his depraved scheme to get a snuff film and footage of a child being brutally abused, according to the US Attorney’s Office for the District of Vermont.

“The defendant paid for and scripted unspeakably vile and horrific videos of a child being tormented, and an adult sadistically abused,” Assistant Attorney General Kenneth Polite said.

Trans Sex Offender, Father of Two, Sentenced to Prison for Molesting Children

Trans Sex Offender, Father of Two, Sentenced to Prison for Molesting Children

It’s a biological male pervert who claims to be a woman (aka “transwoman”). And Democrats, TRAs (trans right activists), liberals, and progressives continue to support and defend deviants like this, all the while only pointing out any perverts among evangelicals, other types of Christians and Republicans.

Let this be another example of how parenthood does not make people more godly, ethical, responsible or mature, as Al Mohler and hyper-pro-marriage, pro-nuclear family guys like him often argue.

(Link): Trans Sex Offender Sentenced to Prison for Molesting Children

April 1, 2022
by Hannah Nightingale

Aitken accepted a caution in 2012 for having an illicit “upskirt” video of another little girl age 7.

A UK transgender father of two awaiting gender reassignment surgery has been sentenced to three years in men’s prison after two girls said they were molested.

Britnee Aitken was convicted of three charges of sexual assault and one count of exposure stemming from a period between July and September 2012 when the convicted sex offender, then identifying as a truck recovery driver named Marcus, invited two young girls over to his home, according to the Daily Mail.

One of the victims, who was then six-years-old, said they were invited over under the guise of playing board games with Aitken. When they knocked at the front door, Aitken reportedly poked genitals through a letter box.

Man Found Guilty of Sex Trafficking, Extortion of Daughter’s Sarah Lawrence Schoolmates

Man Found Guilty of Sex Trafficking, Extortion of Daughter’s Sarah Lawrence Schoolmates

Al Mohler and other marriage-and-parenthood-idolaters often say that being a parent (or being married) makes a person godly, mature, ethical, or responsible.

Well, here we have a news story about a guy who is a father who sexually trafficked his daughter’s classmates – did being a father make him more loving, ethical, godly or responsible than a person who is childless and childfree? The answer is NO. No it did not.

(Link): Man Found Guilty of Sex Trafficking, Extortion of Daughter’s Sarah Lawrence Schoolmates

“Let me be very clear. Larry Ray is a predator. An evil man who did evil things,” the prosecutor said.

April 6, 2022

By Minyvonne Burke and The Associated Press

A New York man was convicted Wednesday on charges that he moved into his daughter’s dorm room at Sarah Lawrence College and abused students at the elite school in a nearly 10-year scheme.

Lawrence Ray, 62, was found guilty of extortion, sex trafficking, forced labor, money laundering and other charges.

Man Charged with Child Sexual Assault Targeted Single Moms on Dating Apps to Get Close to Their Kids: Police

Man Charged with Child Sexual Assault Targeted Single Moms on Dating Apps to Get Close to Their Kids: Police

If you’re a single adult with children, be careful who you date – this guy was targeting single women with children, so he could gain access to their children to molest or rape their children.

I remember when dating sites began getting more acceptable (now, people have moved on to apps), Christians would regularly advise their lovelorn single adult friends to “just try a dating site, that’s how my cousin Pam met her spouse Hank!” – er, no.

Your cousin’s luck not with standing, there are a lot of kooks, crazies, abusers, and selfish asshats on dating apps and sites of all ages (contrary to some 20 something lady’s post I recently saw, it’s not just today’s 20-something men who are selfish, rude, and sexist – this is true of men of all ages, and it was true of 20 something men on dating apps around the early to mid 2000s, back when I was using such sites).

So, to the married couples out there, please stop telling your single, lonely friends who want a spouse (or steady squeeze of some kind) in your perky, overly-optimistic voice, “Just try a dating site; it worked for my mailman Frank!”

The article says that this pervert is married!
I apologize for being so repetitive on this blog, but as so many social and religious conservatives continue to promote marriage, parenthood and The Nuclear Family to such an unhealthy degree, I have to remind them: marriage and parenthood do not make people more godly, mature, loving or ethical, nor will any of that “fix” sin in a culture.

This also goes against all the Christian guidance I read about dating and marriage in the 1980s and 1990s, which portrayed marriage as some kind of lofty achievement that one will only be granted by God if and when one reaches some level of spirituality, or maturity, or whatever.

The fact that so many jerky, abusive, loser, wacko Christian and Non-Christian people manage to get married goes to disprove those earlier Christian teachings that God will with-hold a spouse from you until you achieve perfection, when obviously less-then-perfect people manage to get married on a regular basis.

Now, I will say – the healthier you become (psychologically speaking), you will likely attract more healthy people in your life. If you continue on through life being a huge people pleasing, codependent doormat, you will likely attract narcissists, abusers, weirdos, the emotionally needy, and exploiters.

There are perverts like this guy on these dating sites and apps:

(Link): Accused sex predator targeted single mothers in Texas via dating apps, sheriff says 

March 30, 2022

The Montgomery County Sheriff’s Office is asking for potential victims who may have interacted with a suspect in an aggravated sexual assault of a child to come forward.

Epifanio Adolfo Jimenez has been arrested in connection to the case.

During the investigation, deputies learned Jimenez was targeting women with children through dating apps using the alias “Harley.”

The suspect allegedly asked to spend time with the women and their children.

(Link): Authorities seeking victims of man who targeted women with children through dating apps

According to the investigation, Jimenez is accused of targeting women with children through dating apps and then asking to spend time with their children under the alias “Harley.”

(Link): Man used dating apps to target single moms to get to their children, police say

(Link): Man Charged with Child Sexual Assault Targeted Single Moms on Dating Apps to Get Close to Their Kids: Police

Authorities say that 42-year-old Epifanio Adolfo Jimenez went by the name “Harley” on dating sites and specifically looked for women with children

By Steve Helling
March 31, 2022

A Texas man has been charged with sexual assault of a child — and authorities allege he has been targeting single moms through dating apps, then asking to spend time with their children.