Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships

Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships

The letter is much farther below. I wanted to comment on it first.

Here is the set up:

A friend of a divorced guy wrote to Hax, an advice columnist.

 I’m not sure if this friend is a man or woman; let’s just assume it’s a man for my post.

My interest in this letter is not in the advice aspect: friend is upset because divorced guy keeps asking him for advice but then gets offended and explodes in anger when Friend gives him advice.

My interest in this letter pertains to two or three other facets:

The letter writing friend says his divorced friend is age mid-40s, while the wife who dumped him was in her early 30s.

I am (Link): not a  believer in “May December” relationships, for starters.

A mid- 40s guy should be dating women who are age early- to- late 40s, not an early- 30s woman.

And what in the hey is the age early- 30s woman doing even considering dating some dude who is 14, 15 years her senior?

This is something I have pondered since thinking about dating again: the rebound issue. There is no way I’d date a guy who was divorced (or widowed) for only two years, or less.

If you date a guy who just divorced (or his wife died) two weeks ago, or six months ago, he is not ready for a serious relationship – he’s not even ready for a healthy, casual, fun one.

Continue reading “Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships”

Necrophiliac Charged With Banging Three Dead Women, Admits to Doing 100+ Corpses – Are We Allowed to Necrophiliac-Shame?

Necrophiliac Charged With Banging 100 Corpses – Are We Allowed to Necrophilia-Shame?

Some guy was caught having sex with corpses, and admitting to having sex with like 100 dead bodies at some morgue on night shift. This happened over a period of months, not that he boinked all 100 dead people the same night.

(Link): Morgue Employee Admits To Having Sex With Up To 100 Corpses While Working Night Shifts

I still believe it’s okay to have sexual standards and judge things like this as being wrong, but all the weepy, touchy feely folks, or the outraged progressive Christians, traitor conservative Christians, and secular feminists who rant against “sexual purity culture,” or anyone choosing to stay a virgin until marriage (see previous post for just such an example of that) might tell us that to shame a man for having sex with a corpse is a form of “Necrophilia shaming,” and so we shouldn’t say a peep about it.

One article says this guy is MARRIED. So much for the evangelical, fundamentalist, Reformed, and Baptist position that marriage makes a person
1. more godly
2. mature
3. immune from sexual immorality or perversion

Some Christians teach that God will not send you a spouse unless you clean yourself up first and become good, or God has to clean you up… that is you have to be godly to merit a spouse. Say what you will about a lot of Christian singles over the age of 30, but I doubt any or most are having sex with corpses. Yet, this guy who gets a stiffy in his pants for stiffies has a living wife at home. Looks to me like a person doesn’t have to be perfect or godly to get a spouse.

(Link): Morgue attendant had sex with up to 100 dead women

    By ZOE SZATHMARY FOR MAILONLINE
    PUBLISHED: 01:25 EST, 17 August 2014
    UPDATED: 08:23 EST, 17 August 2014

    Kenneth Douglas worked as an employee for Ohio’s Hamilton County

    He admitted to having sex with the bodies of April Hicks, Karen Range and Charlene Appling

    Speaking about Appling, Douglas said ‘I do remember going in the freezer, pulling her in one of the rooms in the back’

    Douglas attributed his behavior to drug and alcohol abuse in a deposition

    The county employee’s DNA was connected to Range in 2008, and later Appling and Hicks
    Hamilton County is facing a lawsuit from their families

    An Ohio morgue employee revealed he may have had sex with ‘a hundred’ corpses and continued to do so even after his wife had tipped off authorities.

    Speaking about the incidents in deposition audio obtained by WCPO, Hamilton County employee Kenneth Douglas said ‘I would get on top of them and pull my pants down.’

    When talking about the body of victim Charlene Appling, Douglas said ‘I do remember going in the freezer, pulling her in one of the rooms in the back’ before he told an investigator he ‘had sex with her.’

    When asked about the number of corpses he had sex with, Douglas answered ‘It could have been a hundred’ in the deposition audio.

    Douglas attributed his behavior to drug and alcohol abuse in the deposition.

    ‘If I wasn’t drinking, or hadn’t had anything to drink when I went to work, it wouldn’t happen. I would do crack and go in and I would drink and go in,’ he said.

    His wife was featured in a deposition video obtained by WCPO, in which she said she tried to contact someone about her husband’s behavior – but she was dismissed.

    At the time, she also said her husband ‘gets undressed and he reeks of [expletive].’

    WCPO said Douglas admitted to having sex with the bodies of April Hicks, Karen Range and Charlene Appling. Both Appling and Range were murder victims.

    ‘[In 2008] DNA connected him to semen found in Range,’ the affiliate station said. ‘[…] In 2008, Douglas pleaded guilty in the Range case and was sentenced to three years in prison. In 2012, he pleaded guilty again in the Appling and Hicks cases. Their families sued that year.’

(Link): Court: Families can sue county after morgue worker had sex with corpses

(Link): Pervert morgue assistant admits to having sex with up to 100 bodies

    A man in Ohio has admitted in court to having sex with up to 100 corpses while he worked at a morgue.

    The shocking admission by Kenneth Douglas has send shockwaves around the community in the town of Hamilton.

    Depraved Douglas told a court he was usually high or drunk and would “just get on top of them and pull my pants down”.

Christians should marry Muslims to tackle Islamophobia, says peer

Christians should marry Muslims to tackle Islamophobia, says peer

(Link): “Christians should marry Muslims to tackle Islamophobia, says peer”

    CHRISTIANS should be encouraged to marry Muslims as a way of tackling Islamophobia, a senior peer claimed today.

Ho ho ho, NO. No, no, no, no.

Islam is a perverted, sexist, violent religion.

Muslims are a billion times worse than Christian gender complementarians, who regularly and ignorantly advise Christian wives to stay in abusive marriages and “submit” even more to an abusive Christian loser husband (based in large part on sexist interpretations of the Bible – see John “Christian wives should endure being smacked around for the night” Piper, Christian author and former preacher, as one example).

Muslims are into honor killings (where they will kill a female even over trivial issues, e.g., for dating a Christian, dating an American, or for totally unjustifiable, victim-blaming ones, such as a woman being a rape victim).

Muslims are into FGM (female genital mutilation).

Some Muslims shoot little girls in the head for wanting an education.

Do an internet search for the phrase “Boko Haram” and look up stories on Malala Yousafzai, who was a girl shot in the head by Muslims for wanting to go to school (see (Link): Boko Haram on Wiki, (Link): Malala_Yousafzai biography on Wiki).

If you would like to see endless laundry lists of the sexism, and more violence and perversions of Muslims, do visit (Link): this site or (Link): this one for examples.

On a tangent here, I love that this is my blog and I can say what I want.

I so tire of the “#NotAllMuslims #NotAllMuslims!” propaganda garbage I see from left-wingers on other sites whenever crimes and sins of Muslims are brought up.

I know, Lori Liberal, (you even have a dopey “COEXIST” bumper sticker on your car), that your best friend “Muslim Moe” who lives in Podunk, USA right next door to you, is a super nice guy, but unfortunately, 90% of his Muslim compatriots around the world hate Christians, Hindus, atheists, Jews, Americans, Brits, and regularly try to slit our throats or blow us up.

Sunni Muslims hate Shia Muslims and vice versa, so you have Muslims killing each other, too. The fun and hilarity never stops with these guys who believe in the Koran.

I don’t know if the guy suggesting in this article that Christians marry Muslims considers himself a Christian or not. I think he is. He mentions that several of his family members are Christians who married Muslims.

First of all, Christians are not “Islamophobic,” but the majority of Muslims are “Christophobic,” that is, Muslims hate Christians and murder them, and their religious texts tell them to do so.

Secondly. This sure flies in the face in the non-stop “be not unequally yoked” stuff I heard from other Christians growing up.

There were several guys I could have dated or married in my past, (some very good looking and financially well off), but they were not Christians. I was a Christian at the time and used to believe strongly in “be not yoked,” so I did not give those guys a chance (I would now, though).

Given that many Christians (and hypocritically, usually the ones who are now age 55, married at 17, who met their spouse while in high school or Sunday school at church) lecture the rest of us Christians singles who over over age 30 and still single, to hold out only for a Christian spouse, this whole view that “Christians should marry Muslims,” coming from some Christians now, is quite odd.

Given that many devout Muslim men are abusive, sexist, murdering weasels (yes, take your “#Not All Muslims” view point and cram it where the sun don’t shine: #Most-Muslim-Men-Are-Abusive-Violent-Maniacs-Yes-Indeed-They-Are), it is dangerous.

(Link): “Christians should marry Muslims to tackle Islamophobia, says peer”

    CHRISTIANS should be encouraged to marry Muslims as a way of tackling Islamophobia, a senior peer claimed today.

by Owen Bennett – Political Reporter
Jul 8, 2014

Lord Scott, a former Supreme Court Judge, cited his own family – in which two of his four children married Muslims – as an example of how interfaith families can thrive.

The peer, who sits as a crossbencher in the Lords, made the comments during a debate on how to improve relations between the Muslim community and other faith groups in the UK.

He said: “Of my two sons one has become a Muslim and of my two daughters one of those has become a Muslim, and I have 12 lovely grandchildren, seven of whom are little Muslims.

… “I do just wonder that if an improvement is needed between the faith groups, one way of promoting that might be to encourage interfaith marriages.”

According to Christian theology, Jesus Christ is the only way to God (see John 14:6).

Ergo, his daughters who have renounced Christ for Allah (quoting Jesus: “But whoever disowns me before others, I will disown before my Father in heaven.” (link to that)), and his sweet, cute little baby Muslim grand children, when they get to whatever the age of accountability is, will go to Hell when they die, unless they convert at some point.

That’s not so “lovely,” there, fella. Sacrificing their souls to be politically correct isn’t lovely. What a loon.

I’m not on board with the “equally yoked” teaching anymore, but if there was one type of Non-Christian I would never marry, Muslim would be it.
———————————
(Hat tip to radio host Janet Meffered, which is how I first saw a link to this article earlier today – she tweeted a link to it.)
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Related posts this blog:

(Link): Hypocrisy of Left Wingers and Atheists and the #NotAll Hash Tag or Rhetoric

(Link): A Critique of – 10 Men Christian Women Should Never Marry by J. Lee Grady / And on Christians Marrying Non Christians -and- Unrealistic, Too Rigid Spouse Selection Lists by Christians

(Link): The Dating Swamp: How Finding Love in DC May Be Impossible For Young Trump and GOP Staffers – Liberals Hypocritically Insist You Date Transgender Persons But Not Trump Voters

(Link): Majority of Heterosexuals Say They Won’t Date Trans Folk and That’s Discrimination Somehow – by Brett T.

(Link): Why Christians Need To Stress Spiritual Family Over the Nuclear Family – People with no flesh and blood relations including Muslims who Convert to Christianity – Also: First World, White, Rich People Problems

(Link): Christian Host Pat Robertson Tells Christian Woman Who Married Christian Man Who Turned Out to Be Totally Unethical That She has Discernment of a Slug – Single Women: toss Be Equally Yoked teaching in the trash can

(Link): Males and Females Raped at Christian College, College Doesn’t Care – Equally Yoked is a Joke

(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear

(Link): Gender Complementarian Advice to Single Women Who Desire Marriage Will Keep Them Single Forever / Re: Choosing A Spiritual Leader

(Link): Married Christian Rock Singer in Legal Trouble for Hiring Hit Man To Kill His Wife – he also had drug addiction

(Link): Married Southern Baptist and Calvinist Preacher and Father of Boy Exposes His Naked Penis to Teen Girl in Store

(Link): Wife of Preacher Shoots, Kills Him, Recounts Years of Physical and Sexual Abuse – So Much for the Equally Yoked Teaching and the Notion that Christian married sex is Mind Blowing

(Link): Another Example of Why the Equally Yoked Teaching is A Joke for Single Christian Women : Baptist Preacher Arrested for Allegedly Fire Bombing Ex Girlfriend’s House While She Was In It

Off Site Link:
(Link): Is Interfaith Marriage Always Wrong, Given that the Bible Teaches Us Not to Be ‘Unequally Yoked’?

Married Southern Baptist and Calvinist Preacher and Father of Boy Exposes His Naked Penis to Teen Girl in Store

Married Preacher and Father of Boy Exposes His Naked Penis to Teen Girl in Store

News links farther below: married Baptist preacher and father of seven year old boy – who had the boy with him at the time – exposed his penis to a 15 year old girl.

One of these news stories mentions that the guy believes in Calvinism. I guess he was predestined from before the foundation of the world to flash his penis at teenaged girls?

(The purpose of posts such as this one) Countering popular Christian stereotypes about dating, marriage, parenthood, and sex:

    1. Marriage does not make a person more godly or mature
    Conversely: notice this was not a single man, an unmarried man, hitting on this teen girl, it was a MARRIED man.

    2. Parenting does not make a person more godly or mature

    3. Marriage does not make people immune from committing sexual sin or behaving in a vulgar manner

    4. Assuming this preacher in the news story below is married, married Christian sex is not “mind blowing,” because if it was, one would not find this guy exposing his penis to a teen girl to get his socks off

    5. The “Be Equally Yoked” doctrine should be discarded in- so- far as marriage and dating are concerned.

    That self- professing Christian men are just as perverted and unethical as some Non-Christian men means single Christian women might as well date Non-Christian men also.

I’d like to add a sixth point:

    6. Gender complementarianism (sometimes referred to as “Biblical Manhood / Womanhood”) is a joke: women are asked and demanded, by gender complementarian Christians, to “submit” to men, even perverts like this one, in the story below.

    There’s something very faulty with a doctrine that asks almost unquestioning allegiance and unquestioning obedience from one entire group of people (females) to another, and at that, based on something like gender.

Also,

    7. Males need to be hit harder with purity teachings.

    Instead of churches and Christian literature and blogs telling women to “dress modestly,” this is an example of how and why MALES need to hear they should keep their genitals covered up.

    If you are going to teach “modesty” and “purity” beliefs, you need to do so equally, to both genders: men need to hear that they need to mind how they dress and how much they reveal of their bodies.

    This preacher obviously feels it’s perfectly fine to whip his penis out in front of a girl, so obviously, some Christian males do not understand that “modesty” applies to males as well as to females.

Notice that although we have yet another example of a Christian man who is a father and husband (and one who works as a preacher to boot) who was arrested for being sexually inappropriate…

That most Christians will probably still continue to harbor stereotypes against adult singles and to depict all single adults (or childless / child free adults) as being sexual sinners, perverts, and harlots, even though we adult singles not the ones whipping our genitals out in front of teen aged kids.

By the way, how “godly” and “perfect” was this Baptist preacher pervert that God sent him a spouse? I mean, often, Christians will say if you are still single past the age of 30 or 35, it’s because you are a horrible sinner or deeply flawed in some way, and God will not send you, will not reward you with, a spouse, until you fix yourself, or God cleans you up.

Please explain to me how someone such as myself – I’m a normal person, decent morals, not a pervert – is still single at my age, but God permits a total pervert like this one below, who displays his penis to girls in stores, is married?

There is something amiss with the Christian propaganda that one has to “earn” a spouse by being good when I see so many reports of married Christians who are found guilty of sexually inappropriate behavior. And I see this thinking pop up on Christian blogs or sometimes in books about dating and marriage.

—– WOMEN, AESTHETICALLY SPEAKING, DO NOT LIKE PENIS —

Before I get to the links themselves:
I have yet to figure out why so many males feel that women or girls want to look at a penis. Are these males motivated by the mistaken idea that women/girls think they are sexy to look at?

As I blogged about months ago, most females find the penis repulsive-looking, grotesque to ridiculous, and as far as looks go, size does not matter.

Most females are grossed out by what a penis looks like, not turned on by them. So it’s beyond me why males expose themselves or send photos of their genitals to women on dating sites.

Do most women enjoy a good looking man (as in a man with six pack abs, good looking face, and broad shoulders)? Yes and HELL YES. But we are not turned on by male genitalia.

We appreciate other body parts on a good-looking man but a penis is not one of them. It’s the very rare woman who gets turned on by seeing a penis. Most of us recoil in disgust at the sight.

So I just wonder about men like this who whip their penises out – either he was trying to shock or scare the girl, or he assumes she would find it sexy?

(Link): Pastor Arrested for Exposing Himself to Child in Store

    RUSSELLVILLE, Ky. (WBKO) — A pastor has been arrested for exposing himself to a child at an outlet store in Russellville.

    Kevin Lohse, the pastor of Woodlawn Baptist Church, was arrested Thursday.

(Link): Local pastor busted for exposing himself to young girl

    by Chris Cooper Managing Editor
    Feb 2014

    According to a police report, Kevin Lohse, pastor at Woodlawn Baptist Church in Russellville, confessed to investigators that he inappropriately exposed himself to a young girl in Burke’s Outlet on Feb. 13, with his seven year old son in tow.

    The Russellville Police Department had received a report of indecent exposure at the store after a mother reported that her juvenile daughter was subjected to Lohse’s inappropriate behavior while shopping. The female stated that Lohse had a small child with him and that he possibly left the scene in a van.

    …. According to police, the video showed footage of Lohse with his seven year old son at Burke’s on the day of the incident. He can clearly been seen manipulating the zipper of his pants to expose his genitals, and presenting himself to the juvenile female who was shopping in the junior’s section of Burke’s.

    Soon after, a warrant was issued for Lohse’s arrest. He was taken into custody and booked at the Logan County Detention Center.

(Link): Facebook helps police nab Baptist preacher

    Police in Kentucky say social media helped identify a man accused of indecent exposure as a Southern Baptist pastor who was shopping with his 7-year-old son.
    ——
    By Bob Allen

    A Southern Baptist pastor in Kentucky was charged with indecent exposure in an arrest that police credit to social media.

    Kevin Lohse, pastor of Woodlawn Baptist Church in Russellville, Ky., was arrested Feb. 26 after police identified him as the man seen on surveillance video exposing himself to a girl shopping in the junior section of a local department store.

    The Russellville Police Department posted a still image of the suspect on Facebook Feb. 17. One week and 646 shares later, Lohse turned himself in and confirmed he was the man in the security footage, according to a police report quoted by WBKO television in Bowling Green, Ky. Police called it “a prime example of community policing.”

    Lohse, a graduate of Liberty University, accepted a call as senior pastor at Southern Baptist-affiliated Woodlawn Baptist Church in June 2013. Before that he was on staff at Pathway Baptist Church Calvert City, Ky., an independent Baptist congregation that identifies with Founders Ministries, a group formed in 1982 to promote Calvinism in Southern Baptist life.

    … At the time of the incident, police said Lohse’s 7-year-old son was with him in the store. The mother who reported the indecent exposure said the suspect had a small boy with him as he left the scene, possibly in a van.

(Link): Local pastor busted for exposing himself to young girl

TV Pervert Claims Not to Be A Pervert and Laughably Claims “All of America is Having Sex”

TV Pervert Claims Not to Be A Pervert and Laughably Claims “All of America is Having Sex”

This guy is a pervert but claims not to be one. The part that killed me though, was this quote of his: “All of America is having sex.”

I know we are living in a sex-saturated culture, and even Christian culture is creepily obsessed with sex, and it sure seems as though everyone is having sex, but it’s not true that “everyone is doing it.”

I hate to say it, but this a big, big assumption not just with polygamyist perverts like that guy and the Non Christians, but is a view that is shared among evangelical, Baptist, fundamentalist, and Reformed Christians.

Many conservative Christian groups, including, sadly, a lot of preachers, assume that nobody is celibate anymore, and they pattern their materials, commentary, and sermons to follow suit. These sorts of Christians assume everyone who is not married yet by their mid-20s caves in and starts having pre-marital sex.

One result of this false thinking is that Christian adults who are still virgins (as they have not married) past the age of 30, get no support from other Christians.

There are no sermons, books, or radio broadcasts which discuss the needs and problems of adult celibates, or that encourage them to hang on and not give in. Adult, Christian celibates are without a support system.

(Link): ‘We’re normal times five’: Polygamist stars of ‘My Five Wives’ ask people not to judge their unconventional family

    By DAILY MAIL REPORTER and ASSOCIATED PRESS
    PUBLISHED: 22:22 EST, 3 March 2014

    Just because he has five wives and 24 children doesn’t mean Brady Williams isn’t normal.

    Or at least that’s the message he wanted America to receive during an interview with the Huffington Post in which the polygamist stars of TLC’s ‘My Five Wives’ spoke candidly about hopes to dispel the myths surrounding their unconventional lifestyle.

    ‘All of America’s having sex,’ Brady said. ‘And it’s no big deal to just answer it and to just say ‘Duh no we’re not perverted, we’re not twisted, we’re just normal.’

(Link): ‘My Five Wives’: Meet TLC’s newest polygamist family

    The “Sister Wives” aren’t the only polygamist family on TLC. Meet the Williams family, the polygamist Utah clan profiled on the network’s newest reality series, “My Five Wives,” premiering Sunday, March 9 at 10 p.m. ET/PT.

    Patriarch Brady Williams is 43 years old and was raised a Mormon. Now, however, he and his five wives live a non-denominational plural lifestyle. He’s been married for 21 years to his first wife, Paulie, and his second wife, Robyn; 19 years to his third wife, Rosemary; 16 years to his fourth wife, Nonie; and 14 to his fifth wife, Rhonda. Between all five of his wives, he has 24 children.

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Related posts this blog:

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

This also discusses typical, flawed Christian views about adult singleness and celibacy:
(Link): Preacher Mark Driscoll Basically Says No, Single Christian Males Cannot or Should Not Serve as Preachers / in Leadership Positions – Attempts to Justify Unbiblical, Anti Singleness Christian Bias

(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage

(Link): Singles and the Church: Why It Sucks to be Unintentionally Overlooked (from The Sexy Celibate blog)

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

Pastor charged in wife’s murder was headed to Europe to marry boyfriend, prosecutor says – Single Xtian Ladies: Kick that Be Equally Yoked Teaching to the Curb! Also: Marriage and Parenthood do not make people more godly or mature or loving or ethical

Pastor charged in wife’s murder was headed to Europe to marry boyfriend, prosecutor says – Single Christian Ladies: Kick that Be Equally Yoked Teaching to the Curb!

Why exactly do married Christians keep demanding that Christian single ladies hold out for a Xtian man, when so many Christian men are closeted homosexuals or abusive jackholes?

I don’t think Christian single ladies should base their entire romantic destiny on a single 1,900 year old sentence that asks “what fellowship does light have with darkness,” or whatever.

Look at what happens when you DO marry a Christian guy, you get this (by the way, this guy is also a FATHER – and a homosexual – if you’re a hetero woman, the Christian dude you marry may dump you for another dude –
Also: I guess Christian married sex must not be “mind blowing” like Christians promise, since this guy dumped his wife to run off with some other guy):

(Link): Children’s Pastor Accused of Murdering Wife Wanted New Life with Boyfriend: Authorities

(Link): Pastor, 53, arrested at the airport after ‘stabbing his wife to death was heading to Europe to marry his boyfriend’

    By DAILY MAIL REPORTER
    PUBLISHED: 12:23 EST, 17 January 2014

-Richard Shahan was arrested at Tennessee airport in January although he was required to stay in the country as police investigated his wife’s death
-Claimed he had been with his son at the time of her death last July and that he was leaving the country for a three-year mission
-But police said inconsistencies led them to suspect him
-Prosecutors said 3,000 emails revealed ‘he was hoping to leave U.S. and eventually settle in the U.K., where he was going to marry his boyfriend’

(Link): Alabama pastor accused of murdering wife wanted to marry boyfriend: prosecutors

    Prosecutors say Rev. Richard Lee Shahan, formerly of Birmingham’s First Baptist Church, had plans to flee to Europe to marry his boyfriend. The minister has been charged with murdering his wife, Karen Louise Shahan.

(Link): Children’s Pastor Arrested at Airport in Wife’s Brutal Murder

(Link): Affidavit accuses ex-Homewood pastor Richard Shahan of cutting, stabbing wife to death

(Link): Pastor charged in wife’s murder was headed to Europe to marry boyfriend, prosecutor says

    By Kelsey Stein

on January 16, 2014 at 4:16 PM,

  • IRMINGHAM, Alabama – Bond for the former Homewood pastor charged with murder in his wife’s stabbing is set at $100,000 after prosectors said he tried to leave the country to marry his boyfriend.
  • Continue reading “Pastor charged in wife’s murder was headed to Europe to marry boyfriend, prosecutor says – Single Xtian Ladies: Kick that Be Equally Yoked Teaching to the Curb! Also: Marriage and Parenthood do not make people more godly or mature or loving or ethical”

    Woman Stabs Husband with Ceramic Squirrel For Not Buying Beer (another time I’m glad I’ve never married)

    Woman Stabs Husband with Ceramic Squirrel For Not Buying Beer

    Anytime I feel blue over not being married, I see stories like this and feel relief, pure, sweet relief, that I am single.

    I love the one Christian fable that an individual must achieve full maturity and godliness before God will grant a person a spouse.

    I’m more mature and non-violent than this bitch who attacked her spouse with a ceramic squirrel. I may have my own set of flaws, but stabbing people with ceramic chotchkies in a fit of rage for not buying beer (or whatever other reason) ain’t one of them. Yet, according to married people Christian logic, God somehow saw fit to send this psycho woman a husband, but not one for me.

    (Link): Helen Ann Williams Stabbed Beerless Husband With Ceramic Squirrel: Police

    (Link): South Carolina woman stabs husband with ceramic squirrel in beer dispute

    By David Ferguson
    Saturday, December 28, 2013 13:36 EST
    A woman in North Charleston, South Carolina was arrested on Christmas after she stabbed her husband for coming home without any beer. According to Charleston, South Carolina’s News Channel 2, Helen Ann Williams, 44, attacked her 41-year-old common law husband with a ceramic sculpture of a squirrel.

    Police arrived at Williams’ home shortly after midnight Wednesday and found a man bleeding from a deep gash that ran from his shoulder to his chest. Initially Williams tried to convince police that the man had fallen and cut himself.

    Police then asked Williams why she had blood all over her hands and clothes and she told them it had come from someone else. Finally, she broke down and admitted that she sent her spouse to the store for beer. Finding the store closed, he returned home empty handed.

    It was at that point that the woman flew into a rage and attacked him. The man was treated at a local hospital and released. Williams remains incarcerated on $10,000 bond. Police charged her with criminal domestic violence of a high and aggravated nature.


    Related Posts:

    (Link):  Woman accused of beating husband with nunchucks because he refused sex

    (Link): Woman Throws Frozen Porkchop at Boyfriend’s Face

    (Link):  Vietnam man, 44, stabs a wedding guest to death after he was booed off stage during a tragic karaoke performance

    Wife Tried To Frame Husband For Child Porn Say Police

    Wife Frames Husband For Child Porn

    Talk about those times I’m glad I’ve never married.

    People often assume you are some kind of weirdo or loser if you’ve never married, but I see stories like this and wonder “how did this kook (or loser) get a spouse?”

    (Link): Police: Wife tried to frame husband for porn

    (Link): Western Pennsylvania woman accused of trying to frame husband with child porn

    (Link): Woman charged after telling cops hubby had porn

    (Link): Pennsylvania woman busted trying to frame husband with child porn: authorities

      Meri Jane Woods, 42, sparked the child pornography investigation when she went to Pennsylvania State Police and said her husband sexually abused children. But investigators later determined that Woods installed the graphic images on the computer after her husband moved out of their Cherry Hill Township home.

      By Joe Kemp / NEW YORK DAILY NEWS

      A Pennsylvania woman was busted for putting child pornography on a home computer in a failed bid to get her estranged husband arrested, state police said.
      Meri Jane Woods, 42, sparked the investigation last August — when she strolled into a state police barracks in the town of Indiana to report her husband had sexually abused children, authorities said.

      Woods, of Cherry Hill Township, also told investigators that her unidentified husband had downloaded several images of the abuse on their home computer.
      But troopers soon found that all of the lewd files on the computer were installed just three days before Woods went to the police. The probe also found that Woods’ husband, Matthew Woods, had moved out of the home the month before.

    ———————-
    Related posts this blog:

    (Link): Marriage Does Not Make People More Loving Mature Godly Ethical Caring or Responsible (One Stop Thread)

    (Link): How Did this Idiot Get A Wife? – ‘They’re Married?!’ Series

    (Link): Entitled Controlling Bridezilla Makes Outrageous Picky Demands of Her Bridesmades

    (Link): *They’re Married?!?* (Part 3) Does God Require Singles to Be Perfect Before He Will Send Them a Spouse

    (Link): One of the Very Few Times I Have No Sympathy For A Former Domestic Abuse Victim – Letter to Amy From “Conflicted”

    (Link): The Wrong People Marry Quicker (from the “Unedited” blog)

    One of the Very Few Times I Have No Sympathy For A Former Domestic Abuse Victim – Letter to Amy From “Conflicted”

    One of the Very Few Times I Have No Sympathy For A Domestic Abuse Victim

    I’m usually very sympathetic towards women who are married to abusive men, or who have been. I think this may be one exception.

    This woman KNOWS the guy is a womanizing, abusive dirt bag, divorced him, knows he is seriously dating another woman, but is having sex with him in the meantime.

    Note that this woman is having sex with this abusive ex; she must enjoy and like sex. I mention this because usually, evangelical and fundy Christians behave as though most females (especially married ones) are not the least bit interested in sex.

    There is a gender stereotype among Christians that women only like “emotional” intimacy and never feel sexual desire, much less want to act on sexual desire.

    By Amy Dickinson, Published: December 2

      DEAR AMY:
      My conscience is bothering me. Two years ago, I divorced my husband of five years. It was a second marriage for both of us. We loved each other, but our marriage was deeply troubled.

      I frequently caught him lying. He had many inappropriate relationships with other women. His spending was out of control, putting me in serious financial jeopardy.

      Worst of all, during a two-year period of our marriage and on five occasions, he was physically abusive. Not a slap or a shove, but full-out rage. I thought he would kill me.

      Fast-forward to today: He and I continue to be close. We see each other frequently and have a lively sexual relationship. I have no illusions about his other activities and have always assumed that he is dating other women, as I have been dating other men.

      Still, I was shocked to learn that he has been in a serious relationship with a lovely young woman. I looked her up on social media, and I can tell she is head over heels in love with him.

      He has told me they are talking about marriage and children, although he is conflicted (about me). While she knows about our continued “friendship,” she has no idea how entrenched we continue to be, nor does she know that he has been sexually intimate with me the entire time he was courting her. Further, she does not know that he owes thousands of dollars on credits cards and has not filed his taxes in two years. Creditors call me daily looking for him. Clearly, he also has not told her about his history with domestic violence.

      As a mother, I feel protective of her innocence and cluelessness about him. She seems to want children and the white picket fence. I believe he will ruin her life. What obligation do I have to share any of this information with her? I don’t know what to do.
      Conflicted

    When I read lunacy like this, I am glad that I have never married.

    Lousy Marriages (and Lousy Boyfriends) – Guy Marries Lesbian, Other Guy Fakes Kidnapping To Get Away from Wife etc

    Lousy Marriages – Guy Marries Lesbian, Other Guy Fakes Kidnapping To Get Away from Wife etc

    There are times when I am glad I am single.

    There are some marriages (or dating relationships) so awful, so shitty, people want divorce badly, or they fake being kidnapped to avoid their spouse.

    Christians as well as secular culture need to stop over-selling and romanticizing marriage (and other romantic relationships), as they often do.

    Sometimes marriage (or a boyfriend) sucks.

    Sometimes the person you marry (or are dating) does not or cannot meet all or even most of your needs.

    Sometimes the person you marry is emotionally or physically abusive, or has multiple affairs. Some women later find out that their husband is a pedophile.

    Here are some examples:

    (Link): My wife left me for a woman — could I please have my divorce now?

      I’ve been through hell for two and a half years, and I’d really like this marriage to be officially over!

      Dear Cary:

      My wife left me almost two and a half years ago for a woman. After having worked through everything involving the infidelity, the gay issue, custody of our then 1-1/2-year-old daughter (although I’m not sure I’ll ever be OK with that), etc., I’m ready to move on with my life.

      We decided to go to a mediator, as neither of us was financially able to hire lawyers to take care of the divorce. The first year of mediation was rocky, as I felt I was getting the short end of the stick, and I was fighting for custody of my daughter. Time has cooled things out, and we are what you might call “amicable,” although I don’t really believe that’s how things are.

      I think that I’ve become amicable and she’s become vindictive and controlling. My (still) wife presents a veneer of kindness and responsibility (she’s an ESL teacher and “wonderful” mother).

      However, she for some reason cannot let go. I’ve taken care of all the paperwork, even redoing all of it when both of us moved to different counties.

      Continue reading “Lousy Marriages (and Lousy Boyfriends) – Guy Marries Lesbian, Other Guy Fakes Kidnapping To Get Away from Wife etc”

    Pro Ball Player Convicted for Kid Diddling Three Kids Claims to be an Outstanding Christian (and he’s married with a kid of his own) – again, why should Christian single gals limit themselves to only marrying Christian men? The Whole “Being Yoked Equally” thing is irrelevant and unduly limiting for singles

    Pro Ball Player Convicted for Kid Diddling Three Kids Claims to be an Outstanding Christian (and he’s married with a kid of his own) – again, why should Christian single gals limit themselves to only marrying Christian men? The Whole “Being Yoked Equally” thing is irrelevant and unduly limiting for singles

    I was told my whole life by Christians it would be wrong for me to marry a Non-Christian because the Bible has one sentence that says “do not be yoked to an unbeliever.”

    I ran into a few decent Non-Christian guys growing up, but no, couldn’t get into a romantic relationship with them or marry them, because according to Christian folklore, if I just kept “trusting in the Lord” and praying about my marital future, in due time God would send me a Christian Prince Charming.

    I find myself still never-married in my early 40s.

    There is no, there was no, Christian Prince Charming that was my reward for staying a virgin, for being a good Christian girl who prayed, had faith, and waited on “God’s timing” or for “God’s Best.”

    Meanwhile, as a single, other singles and myself go ignored by the Christian community, when they are not harboring insulting stereotypes about older singles (such as all unmarried women are harlots that will steal married men).

    Supposedly, the unmarried are not as godly, sexually pure and loving as married people with children.

    Then we come across stories such as this by a guy who says he is a swell Christian – and I’m not sure, but I think he might be married with children of his own?

    I cannot believe Christians expected me to hinge my entire marital relationship destiny on one measly biblical verse that contains the phrase “be not yoked to an unbeliever,” and upon reflection, I wonder what in the hell does that verse even mean?

    Maybe Apostle Paul was only talking about tennis partners, for all we know.

    The end result of holding that verse up as the end- all, be- all of marriage advice is tragic, though: lots of single Christian ladies like me who wanted marriage are single into our 40s.

    I cannot believe a perverted guy like this gets a spouse while decent people such as myself, despite wanting to be married, can’t so much get a date for Friday night.

    Oh yes, this story also works against another secular and Christian stereotype: that older, never-married men are sexual predators. Here we have a story about a MARRIED man who is a FATHER who was convicted of child sexual abuse.

    (Link): Sex offender Chad Curtis says his victims are lying and he’s a “Christian servant”

    Excerpt:

      Curtis claims he’s “living faith every day” — and thinks he and his victim could write a book together

      BY MARY ELIZABETH WILLIAMS

      Former major league outfielder Chad Curtis says he tries to “live my faith every day.” Chad Curtis is a recently convicted sex offender.

      On Thursday in Hastings, Mich., the 44-year-old was sentenced to seven to 15 years in prison on six counts of second-, third- and fourth-degree criminal sexual conduct. The victims were three teenage girls he knew during his time as a high school volunteer weight-room strength trainer two years ago. When he was initially suspended from his position last year, he told reporters, “I’d ask [the community] to pray for us and pray that this would be resolved in a way that is honoring to God.”

      Now, in a courtroom statement the prosecution called “an arrogant, self-serving hour-long soliloquy,” Curtis, who played for the Yankees in two winning World Series, steadfastly maintained that his victims were liars, saying, “The truth will set her free. I think this whole thing is an unfortunate situation where the whole truth has not been told. I believe her [the victim] and I could write a book someday and it would have a positive impact on a whole lot of people.” It’s a horrible, desperately insensitive thing to say, but it’s an illuminating window into the mind of a convicted sex offender – one who still bafflingly seeks connection with his accuser.

      The girls all tell similar tales — of Curtis groping them under the guise of giving them athletic massages. In her account of his actions, one of his teenage victims said that he’d “he exposed her breast, covered it with his mouth and simultaneously groped her crotch.”

      When she began crying, she says he swore that “he would never again succumb to his immoral impulses” and asked her to pray with him.

      She says that when she refused he told her, “Prayer is always good.” According to Michigan Live, it was the same scenario with the other two victims: “Each would hear an apology. Each would receive a promise that it would not happen again.” Yet if he expressed contrition during his encounters with the victims, there was none of the kind on display during his trial or sentencing.

    (Link): Former MLB Outfielder Chad Curtis Sentenced for Sexual Abuse

      Judge calls the former Yankees team member a predator during sentencing

      By Courtney Subramanian
      Oct. 03, 2013

      New York Yankees’ ex-outfielder Chad Curtis was sentenced Thursday to seven to 15 years in prison for sexual abuse by a Michigan circuit judge who called him a predator and a community threat.

      Curtis, whose career spans from 1992 to 2001 and includes two World Series wins with the New York Yankees, was convicted of six counts of criminal sexual conduct in August. During a stint volunteering as a weight trainer at a Barry County high school, the ex-MLB star inappropriately touched three teenage girls.

      Two 15-year-olds said he touched their buttocks while a 16-year-old girl said he touched and kissed her breasts. The 44-year-old told the court Thursday that the three girls lied, while calling himself a Christian servant.

    (Link): Chad Curtis blames his victims in court speech, offers to write a book with one

      HASTINGS, MI – As Chad Curtis delivered what a prosecutor called an arrogant, self-serving hour-long soliloquy, the three teen victims of his sexual crimes could take no more and walked out of the courtroom.

      But they returned in time to hear Barry County Circuit Court Judge Amy McDowell sentence the former major leaguer and school athletic mentor to seven to 15 years in prison for his sexual assault of three girls at Lakewood High School.

      “I feel like I’ve got to a point now where I have done all I can do and I can move on with my life,” said the 18-year-old, who was the victim of Curtis’ crimes in 2011 when he committed third-degree criminal sexual conduct against the then-high school senior. The crime involves sexual penetration.

      … For his part, Curtis talked for an hour and accused all the victims of lying during the week-long trial in August, during which Curtis was found guilty of six counts of criminal sexual conduct.

      Curtis talked of how he was playing for the Detroit Tigers, one of six teams he would play for in a 10-year career ending 2001, when he decided he wanted to become a servant of God.

      Curtis talked at length about all the students he helped by getting his teaching certificate at Cornerstone University. He talked about the people he brought to Christ through his example and the lives he helped turn around even as he waited sentencing in the Barry County Jail.

      “I wake up every morning and ask, ‘How can I be a positive influence in this little cell?” Curtis told the judge. “I live my faith every day.”

      Curtis took exception to being called selfish by the victims and their parents, and he seemed intent on making sure the judge knew that he was not selfish.

      Curtis also said he was the one rebuffing advances from the girls, who accused him of getting them alone in the school weight room and then molesting them under the guise of athletic conditioning.

      He said the girls will have to come to terms with their wrong-doing.

      “The truth will set her free,” he said of one of his victims.

      “I think this whole thing is an unfortunate situation where the whole truth has not been told, Curtis said. “I believe her (the victim) and I could write a book someday and it would have a positive impact on a whole lot of people.”

      Barry County Prosecutor Julie Nakfoor Pratt said Curtis’ statement showed an utter lack of remorse and showed that he needed to be put in prison.

      “That was the most selfish, self-serving, victim-blaming statement I’ve heard in my career as a prosecutor,” Pratt said. “It speaks volumes about his character, or lack thereof.”

      Following the sentence hearing, defense attorney David Dodge gathered with supporters of his client, including Curtis’ wife and daughter, as they met in a circle and prayed in the courthouse parking lot.

    ————–
    Related posts this blog:

    (Link): Being Equally Yoked: Christian Columnist Dan Delzell Striving to Keep Christian Singles Single Forever

    (Link): Forget About Being ‘Equally Yoked’ – Article: ‘My Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage’

    (Link): Why I Now Reject “Be Equally Yoked” – and on Becoming More Agnostic
    -(this page also contains many links to news stories with examples of Christian married men who were arrested for rape, murder, or other crimes, and articles about high rates of porno use among Christian men)
    ——————————
    On Christianity Today:
    (Link): Is Interfaith Marriage Always Wrong, Given that the Bible Teaches Us Not to Be ‘Unequally Yoked’?

    Speak For Yourself, Melissa Gorga (reality TV star supports marital rape)

    Speak For Yourself, Melissa Gorga (reality TV star supports marital rape)

    People like this get married, and people like me remain single. Something is definitely amiss.

    This is another example of…
    1. I’m glad I’ve never married.
    2. Christians are lying when they tell you that marital sex will be awesome

    She gets into this thing where she claims “all women want to be dominated.” No, we do not. Do not speak for me. (Correction: one site says that is her husband’s comment in the book – that is his view on women.)

    (Link): ‘Real Housewife’ Melissa Gorga’s New Book Advocates Marital Rape

      Real Housewives of New Jersey star Melissa Gorga has written an advice book, Love Italian Style, for people who want a marriage as hot and happy as the one she has with her husband Joe. Her entire ethos on the subject boils down to this sentence: “Husbands want their wives to submit; wives want our husbands to dominate.”

      The amount of sexism, gender essentialism, and caveman logic within its pages is so appalling that it’s difficult to believe that her book is anything but a cry for help.

      It’s very clear—from her anecdotes, observations, and tips—that she’s married to a controlling asshole that barely views her as human, let alone an equal. He won’t “allow” her to go on overnight trips without him, he has a say in the clothes she wears, didn’t want her to get a job (even before she became a mother), and he has gotten violent when Melissa does things that he doesn’t like.

      … On why your whore single friends are bad for your marriage [excerpt from book- example of ISOLATION OF SINGLE WOMEN]:

      Listen, we all love to hang out with our single friends. Who’s more fun? But, let’s call a spade a spade. You can’t make a habit of it when you are married. It’s always better for your relationship to go out with people who have more in common with you. You are less likely to get yourself in trouble…[T]oo many…”Girls’ Nights” with the single ladies can only lead to temptation.

    (Link): Real Housewife Melissa Gorga ‘supports marital rape’ in her book

      A Real Housewife has come under fire for promoting ‘marital rape’ in her book about how to ‘keep the romance alive and the home fires burning’.
      Melissa Gorga who came to fame for her role on Real Housewives of New Jersey has penned a book about her marriage and one portion that her husband Joe contributed is causing outrage.

      ‘Men, I know you think your woman isn’t the type who wants to be taken. But trust me, she is. Every girl wants to get her hair pulled once in a while. If your wife says “no,” turn her around, and rip her clothes off. She wants to be dominated,’ he wrote.

      ‘Women don’t realize how easy men are. Just give us what we want.’

      The couple’s sex life is discussed at length in the book by both of the Gorgas, and Melissa advocates both ‘real passionate sex and maintenance sex’.

      ‘Maintenance sex keeps the wheels greased, the lines of communication open, and the fights to a minimum,’ she wrote, according to Jezebel.

      Her frequent mentions of fights that are avoided using sex has raised some eyebrows about their tempestuous relationship.

      ‘In the beginning, Joe wanted to have sex every single day, at least once, if not twice or three times…If I didn’t give it to him once a day, he’d get upset,’ she wrote.

    Your husband is an entitled, selfish, immature asshole.

    Entitled Controlling Bridezilla Makes Outrageous Picky Demands of Her Bridesmades

    Entitled Controlling Bridezilla Makes Outrageous Picky Demands of Her Bridesmades

    A bride to be sends out a series of incredibly obnoxious e-mails.

    I have to wonder about demanding, petty bitches like this who get husbands, but much nicer women can’t even get a date. Other people in the comments wondered the same thing and surmised she is either super model quality in the looks dept, or she comes from a crazy wealthy family.

    (Link): This Terrifying Bride Is Only Joking Except When She’s Not

    I am only going to reproduce the first few e-mails this Bridezilla sent to her friends. If you want to see all of her amazingly entitled, bratty e-mails, please click the link above.

    Excerpts:

      Everyone has a friend—a terrifying, beautiful friend—who wields humor the way ranchers wield cattle prods; who jokes, and teases, and Just kidding!s her underlings (“BFFs!”) toward the cliff-edge of nervous breakdown; whose sadism is impossible to fight against because it’s just a joke, why can’t you take a joke? Sometimes, that friend gets married.

      The following emails were forwarded to us by a bridesmaid still dazed from her six-month tour in the war zone of her gal pal’s elegant destination wedding. They are a master class in the joking-but-not-joking-seriously-DON’T-cut-your-hair-without-my-permission style of friend management, where every “jest” (no bridesmaids were actually force-fed protein shakes to gain weight) is counteracted by a very real “offense” (one bridesmaid was asked to take diet pills).

      All identifying information has been changed; emphasized words and phrases appear as they did in the correspondence (though we have swapped the fluorescent pink of the original text for a more subdued black). So sit back, pop a diet pill because you’re fat, and then pop a chill pill because can’t you take a joke, fattie? Jeez.

    The emails from the Bridezilla, this is E-Mail 1:

      Welcome to my bridal party. I thought today would be a great day to start this chain, as it is officially six months until my wedding day.

      I just wanted to go over some ground rules.

      1. Weigh-ins will begin in 3 weeks. I for one would really like some time after Thanksgiving to make my body forget about what it consumed, so I thought I would give you guys some cushion room

      2. No-one can be skinner than the bride. That means Kelly and Lizzie will be on a protein weight gainer diet exclusively until May. I will have the nutritionist call you to discuss diet plans.

      3. Bed times leading up to the wedding will be strictly enforced. I absolutely cannot have you all have saggy, baggy eyes. I am sure you all understand.

      4. Swimwear attire: I would like everyone to wear matching bikinis that have rhinestones on the tushie spelling out “maids,” which brings me to my next point.

      5. All bikinis leading up to the wedding must be strapless bandeaus. I cannot have terrible tan lines in strapless dresses.

      6. Sunscreen: We need to make sure you ladies look lovely and radiant and not red and reptile like. Pack accordingly.

      7. Speeches: We all know what happened at Taylor’s wedding. So if you plan to make a toast, please submit it for approval and revision, no later than 4 weeks prior to the wedding.

      8. Hair cuts: If you plan on chopping off your locks, please submit your proposed new look prior to any actions (this applies to coloring as well).

      9. Attendance: is strongly requested at all events but I will make some exceptions on a case by case basis.

      10. Ink: Consider this a moratorium on future tattoos until June 5th. Those of you with visible artwork will be privately contacted with (temporary) removal instructions.

      Thank you for your time and consideration. Should everyone abide by these minor requests, I am sure we will all have a memorable weekend.

      Just kidding bitches, well, sorta. love you all,

      [The Bride]

    E-Mail 2

      Girls,

      It has been brought to my attention (picture proof) that one of my Maids is in violation of Rule 8 of the Bridal Party Contract. Rule 8 clearly stipulates that “If you plan on chopping off your locks, please submit your proposed new look prior to any actions (this applies to coloring as well).”

      While I am sure this was a minor oversight by my bad little bee, I would like to remind everyone of the ramifications of violating any of the aforementioned rules. Failure to adhere to my commandments, can result in Bridalparty banishment!

      I would appreciate a call from the hair-color-changing culprit immediately, with a proposed remedy by the end of the day.

      Respectfully yours.

      The Queen Bee

    E-mail 6,

      Hello my workout bees,

      I was thinking that we should start a daily google docs, where everyone can update in real time their daily calorie content. Due to exams, I have not been the very best at requesting our weekly weigh-ins but thought the food calculator would be a great way for me to monitor everyone’s caloric in take. Thoughts?

      I hope everyone is doing well. Also, there will be a prize to the most obedient wedding bee 🙂 Kinda like an incentive.

      Love you all & and see you all in 17 days!!!

    Married Youth Pastor Father of Four Caught Raping and Molesting Several Little Boys claims the molesting kept the boys sexually pure and cures them of homosexuality

    (Male) Married (to a woman) Youth Pastor Father of Four Caught Raping and Molesting Several Little Boys claims the molesting kept the boys sexually pure and cures them of homosexuality

    Conservative Christians like to adhere to the stereotype that unmarried adults over the age of 30, especially the never married ones, are weirdos, selfish, ungodly, or sexual reprobates – when a segment of singles are VIRGINS (they have not engaged in sexual activity) and are hard working, mature, and godly.

    Many conservative Christians also assume that becoming a parent automatically makes an individual mature, responsible, and caring.

    Conservative Christians also like to feed propaganda to single Christians (usually teenagers and college aged students) that if they only stay a virgin until marriage, that the sex will be “mind blowing.”

    (“Mind blowing” is usually the descriptive phrase of choice by conservative Christians who write blogs and books about sexual purity. It’s not my choice of words.)

    Not only do I have posts on this blog of copies of news articles about wives who admit they were virgins on their wedding night and that the honeymoon (and beyond) sex was terrible, but some of them say their husbands never want to have sex any more – so they are no longer having sex.

    Now, if it were true that saving sex until marriage made the sex great and that one would be sexually satisfied with one’s own spouse, and if it were true the marriage automatically makes a person more godly, responsible, and holy, why do I keep finding stories like this one below, of a married Christian man, who worked as a preacher, who fondled and raped little boys repeatedly?

    (Link): Pastor had sex with teens to ‘cure’ their homosexuality

    (Link): “Rape the gay away” pastor won’t serve time

      BY ROD BASTANMEHR
      Sept 13, 2013

      Iowa pastor and youth counselor Brent Girouex, who claimed with a straight face that he was trying to “cure” teenage boys of their “homosexual urges” by having sex with them, has had his sentence reduced from 17 years in prison to sex offender treatment and probation.

      Since Girouex confessed to having sex with four underage boys, eight additional young men have come forward saying they were sexually violated by the 31-year-old pastor. Girouex, who is not longer a pastor at the Victory Fellowship Church, believed that he could rape away the gay by “praying while he had sexual contact” with the boys, all in an effort to keep them “sexually pure” for God.

      According to reports, he told police that “when they would ejaculate, they would be getting rid of the evil thoughts in their mind.”

      Girouex, a married father of four, has had a fair share of backlash since he publicly made his disturbing practices known. One of his most ardent opponents is his wife Erin, who has spoken out against both him and the reduced sentence he received after the initial 17 years he was to serve in prison.

    Continue reading “Married Youth Pastor Father of Four Caught Raping and Molesting Several Little Boys claims the molesting kept the boys sexually pure and cures them of homosexuality”

    Author of Marital Self-Help Books Murders Wife

    Author of Marital Self Help Books Murders Wife

    1. Married People are not more mature, godly, loving, or responsible than the unmarried

    A lot of married Christians like to think that marriage makes people more mature, loving, responsible, godly… but then you get stories like this, where a guy who wrote a book called ‘How to have a better marriage’ later shoots and kills his wife.

    2a. This is also part of my “They’re married?!?!?!” series – posts about weirdos, crackpots, or creeps who manged to get a spouse

    2b. This is another example disproving one common Christian falsehood that an unmarried person has to achieve some level of godliness, maturity, -or whatever- before God will send you a spouse

    This Medina guy (murder aside) sounds like a crackpot, too. He’s into ghosts, UFOs, and takes time travel machines seriously.

    How a lunatic such as him gets married, while sane singles can’t even so much get a date is a mystery. Maybe his wife (R.I.P.) had exceptionally low standards?

    (Link): Man posts grisly picture of his dead wife on Facebook in post saying: ‘Im going to prison or death sentence for killing my wife love you guys’

    (Link): Derek Medina Posts Photo Of Wife’s Body, Murder Confession To Facebook

      A horrifying crime scene in South Miami hit Facebook Thursday when a man posted a photo of his dead wife — and a confession that he had killed her.

    Derek Medina posted the photo some time around noon Thursday, with the words “Rip Jennifer Alfonso.” The image shows his wife’s body slumped backwards from her knees on the floor in what appears to be the couple’s kitchen. Her face and arms are covered in blood.

    (Link): Miami New Times reports Medina has authored a number of self-help e-books, including one titled “How I Saved Someone’s Life and Marriage and Family Problems Thru Communication.”

    (Link): Derek Medina, Facebook Wife Killer, Once Wrote Odd Self-Help Book Titled “How I Saved Someone’s Life and Marriage…”

      • By Kyle Munzenrieder
      Aug. 8 2013 at 5:07

    Derek Medina, the South Miami man who ended his marriage and his wife’s life this morning and then posted photos of her dead body on Facebook, once wrote an e-book titled How I Saved Someone’s Life and Marriage and Family Problems Thru Communication.

    Medina was a prolific publisher of self-help e-books and maintained a website at EmotionalWriter.com.

    …The books [by Medina] mostly have long, bizarre titles:

    • How I Saved Someone’s Life and Marriage and Family Problems Thru Communication
    • Humans Who Are Gifted and Can See the Supernatural Spirit Ghost World We Live in Called Ghost Haunted Adventures
    • How a Judgmental and Selfish Attitude Is Destroying the World We Live in Because the World Is Vanishing Beneath Our Eyes
    • Attention World Save Yourself
    • World Just Ask Yourself Why We Are Living a Life Full of Lies and How I an Emotional Writer Made All of My Professional Dreams Come True Blocking Society’s Teachings
    • If the World Ended Today How Would You React to Saving the World or Helping the World or Would It All Be Over for You

    In a summary of one book, Medina claims he can hunt ghosts and once saved his wife from a ghost attack while they were in New York.

    …Another summary indicates Medina had “experiences with aliens, UFOs,” and breaks down “his comparison of humans and aliens.”

    … Internet trolls have already found his book about marriage on Barnes & Noble’s site.

    “What a fantastic book. My wife was rustling my jimmies but I didn’t want to get a divorce. Instead, I read this book and shot her in the face,” wrote one in the review section.

    (Link): Fla. man accused of killing wife, posting grisly photo

      The post claimed that his wife was punching him and that he wasn’t going to stand any more abuse. However, YouTube videos linked to his Facebook page earlier this week show him working out in a martial arts studio, punching and kicking a heavy bag.

    The next and final post — also at 11:11 a.m. and titled “Rip Jennifer Alfonso” — was a gruesome photograph showing a woman in black leotards slumped on the floor, on her back with her legs bent backward and blood on her left arm and left cheek. The photo was up for more than five hours before Facebook removed the page late Thursday afternoon.


    Related Posts:

    (Link): Marriage Counselor Sentenced To Life For Killing Ex-Fiancee Who He Had Met On Dating Site

    (Link): Ex-Church Usher Found Guilty of Hiring Hitman to Kill His Wife So He Can Pursue Kinky Sexual Lifestyle With His Mistress  (the guy in this story is married AND is a parent)

    The Wrong People Marry Quicker (from the “Unedited” blog)

    The Wrong People Marry Quicker (from the “Unedited” blog)

    I just found this blog a few days ago:

    (Link): The Wrong People Marry Quicker (from the “Unedited” blog)

    The author opens by asking,

    Have you ever asked yourself how in the world did (insert name) get married? Or who the hell would marry that person?

    (end quote)

    Hell yes, I have!

    I remain befuddled by the common Christian advice (and stereotype) that only perfect people marry; that is, it is assumed by many Christians that one has to be thin, attractive, intelligent, witty, charming, holy, sexually pure, and possess a million other qualities before God will permit an unmarried Christian to have a Christian spouse.

    However, I have noticed both among Christian and Non Christians, many ugly, stupid, impoverished, sexually promiscuous (fornicators), getting married about as easily as some people brush their teeth.

    Getting a spouse, despite being rude, stupid, poor, fat, bald, boring, ugly, slutty, or any number of other negative traits, does not prohibit males or females from getting spouses.

    Christians assume if you still find yourself single at age 30-ish+ it’s obviously – OBVIOUSLY!!!, damn you! – because you are weird, fat, ugly, poor, stupid, socially backwards, unfashionable, smelly, or a great big whore, or any combination thereof.

    Or feminism. Don’t forget feminism, because (Link): bitter, sexist single Christian males sure haven’t. ((Link): Christian Males Blaming their Unwanted Protracted Singleness on Feminism – They have the wrong target )

    Anyway, as to noticing that yes, fat, weird, stupid, poor, or ugly people manage to get married, while you – normal you, who is average to great looking, smart, funny, educated and nice, can’t so much get a date, yes, I’ve noticed.

    I have a category here on my blog for it, see these posts:

    (Link): How Did this Idiot Get A Wife? – ‘They’re Married?!’ Series

    (Link): They’re Married?!?* (Part 3) Does God Require Singles to Be Perfect Before He Will Send Them a Spouse

    From (Link): The Wrong People Marry Quicker:

    Have you ever asked yourself how in the world did (insert name) get married? Or who the hell would marry that person? It is starting to become apparent that many of the people who are married are simply not suitable to be married.

    We all know people who are deemed a bit shady in their character and we have declared that these people should “never” get married until they sort out their issues.

    Well, sometime later, you heard that they have entered into nuptial bliss.

    The next thought is how? who? why? You are left dumbfounded while your good friend or family who has a splendid character is still trying to find his/her mate.

    Continue reading “The Wrong People Marry Quicker (from the “Unedited” blog)”

    Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist

    Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist

    Before I post about the serial rapist preacher, I do want to point out that some churches may be turning their noses up at singles for positions of leadership not always out of an outright bias against singles or singlenes, but that many churches, especially of the IFB bent apparently, are cheapskates: they want a married pastor because they get two slave laborers for the price of one, a husband and his wife.

    Apparently, a preacher’s wife is expected to fulfill unpaid roles at many churches and in many denominations, such as providing free church child care; running and organizing church activities; and playing the piano during church services.

    Some people at one forum were copying “Pastor Wanted” ads into one thread, and a few of the advertisments specifically required that the pastor applying have a wife, and the wife’s duties were spelled out, as “she must be a piano player,” etc.

    The thing I find sad and funny is that these are not biblical standards in the first place, and some of the churches adhering to these standards claim to be “KJV Only” or to care deeply about “biblical standards.” The Bible does not say all preachers/ teachers have to be married, or have to have children, or that a pastor must have a wife who plays musical instruments.

    Note also that a lot of this abuse against women (and young girls) by Christians are in churches that have a low view of the female gender, which they call “traditional gender roles” or “biblical gender complementarianism.” They adhere to very strict gender role perspectives. These types of churches/ Christians typically believe a woman is suitable for only being barefoot, pregnant, and in the kitchen. The males have very sexist views of women and usually blame females for being raped -much like Islamic honor killing culture.

    Now, the star attraction of this post, the biggest reason you clicked the link to read this post:

    Ah yes, another married person, and a pastor no less, was revealed to be less than saintly. The guy was arrested for being a serial rapist. He worked as a preacher. He hanged himself while in jail.

    Mr. Pervy Pastor had two or three children, so he was a father, too, not just a husband.

    And we know that conservative Christians think that fatherhood (or motherhood) automatically make a Christian more responsible and godly. *Snicker*
    (See previous post on this blog: (Link): “Fatherhood Not Quite the Producer of Manly, Mature, Godly Men Some Conservative Christians Make It Out To Be”)

    News reports such as these do not fit in with the paradigm held by a lot of conservative Christians, particularly Baptists (IFB and SBC and others) and conservative evangelicals that married people are more sexually pure, more morally upright, or more mature than never-married adults (or the divorced) over the age of 25 – 30.

    The truth is that married people are no more godly, mature, responsible, or sexually upright than singles.

    Most “sexual purity” sermons, books, and blogs about sexual sin assume that all singles, or at least those under the age of 30, are “randy” all the time and having sex with hundreds of partners per week, even though that is not true for all singles, especially not all Christian singles. (Note the ageism, not just the single stereotype in play: most churches don’t even stop to consider that singles over 30, 40 have sexual desire, or they don’t care.)

    Here are some links and excerpts about the pervy rapist IFB preacher (even in death, his pastor friends, who knew the truth about the guy – that he was reportedly a rapist – gave him a glowing eulogy in one of their publications. Link to that below):

    (Link): “Spinning Scandals Redux” (Deceased Pervy Pastor Known To Be Pervy By All Gets Glowing Obit from IFB Church Publication) (via “Stuff Fundies Like” site)

    (Link): Pastor’s arrest, suicide stun church

    (Link – from a blog): Two Sides of Matthew Jarrell

    (Link): Former York County pastor’s arrest, travels spark nationwide sex-assault search (story dates from 2011)

      By TED CZECH
      Daily Record/Sunday News

      York, PA – In May 2007, the Rev. Matthew Dwayne Jarrell picked up a woman in Texas. She said he flashed a gold badge at her and told her if she did not do what he wanted, he would arrest her.

      Instead, San Antonio Police arrested him and charged him with sexual assault. In his vehicle they found two knives, a stun gun, leather gloves, video equipment and a machete.

      Last week, Jarrell, 41 — who at one time served as pastor of Old Paths Baptist Church in North Codorus Township — was again arrested on a sexual assault charge, this time in West Virginia.

      Police there say he offered a woman a ride home, drove to a secluded area and raped her.

      Continue reading “Stereotypes Against Singles Refuted Series: Married IFB Preacher Arrested for Being Serial Rapist”

    Preachers Who Use Strippers, Hula Girls, Topless Hunky Men, and Strip Poles During Church Services and Give Sex Diplomas to Teens – Yes, Really

    Preachers Who Use Strippers, Hula Girls, Topless Hunky Men, and Strip Poles During Church Services and Give Sex Diplomas to Teens – Yes, Really

    Some pastors have not ruled out using strippers in future church services (anything to lure in the un-saved to church!), while others have used hula girls and topless muscular men.

    The host of the following radio show also discusses Christian television show host’s Pat Robertson’s view point that all men are horn dogs who are sex-obsessed, so you can’t blame a man for cheating on his spouse. (I wrote about Robertson on this topic (Link): here and (Link): here).

    Here’s the radio show:

    (Link): PERRY NOBLE HASN’T RULED OUT USING STRIPPERS IN CHURCH (also mentions Pat Robertson’s views that all men are sex obsessed, and a church that used hula girl and topless men in services)

    Related links other sites:

    This next link below: the strict gender role stereotyping and the assumptions of what either gender wants is disgusting.

    Not all men are into strippers, like football, and not all women are into teddy bears, hearts, rainbows, and being “touchie feelie.”

    I had a male co-worker once who HATED sports (and he was HETERO, and he later got married to a woman and had a kid by her), and not only was this guy BORED with football and other sports, but he said he hated being around men who talked about sports incessantly.

    Had a female co-worker who adores college football, and an Aunt who loves football.

    My ex used to bring me roses and do other typical romantic stuff, and I usually didn’t care for it.

    I was a tom-boy in childhood (I hated Barbie and other dolls; I preferred playing with trucks, Planet of the Apes action figures, etc.), and in adulthood, I differ from the stereotypical “girly-girl” churches expect women to be.

    Churches need to stop perpetuating gender stereotypes, because people cannot be neatly categorized into little boxes. Even if 90% of all females are all “love ‘n rainbows” all the time, it makes the other ten percent feel left out and alienated in these sermons.

    Also: a lot of women LIKE VIDEO GAMES, and I mean the violent ones, not “dress- a- pony.”

    (Link): Maverick pastor gets crowds streaming into church after erecting a stripper pole behind pulpit

      A local pastor said he put a stripper pole on his pulpit to help preach his message.

      It may raise some eyebrows, but Pastor Mike Scruggs said he’s hoping it will save some marriages. Scruggs admits he’s anything but a traditional pulpit preacher.” We try to make it relevant, straightforward.

      We don’t sugarcoat anything,” he said. On Friday, Scruggs’ sermon series drew a packed house at the Light of Word Ministries on Colerain Avenue.” We talk about sex. We talk about drugs. We talk about faith. We talk about relationships…, things that people are dealing with on a day-to-day basis,” Scruggs said.
      The series of sermons is called the “Battle of the Sexes,” with some rather interesting visual props.” On one side, (we’ll have) what men want or desire: your stripper pole, your video games, your sports,” Scruggs said.

      “The woman’s side (is) orderly, neat. It’s all about love, candy, teddy bears, roses and being wined and dined and cherished.”

      Scruggs said his church focuses on real situations and brings godly solutions.” We push the envelope, that’s true,” he said.

    Continue reading “Preachers Who Use Strippers, Hula Girls, Topless Hunky Men, and Strip Poles During Church Services and Give Sex Diplomas to Teens – Yes, Really”

    More Schadenfreude – Glad Not To Be Married Series

    More Schadenfreude – Glad Not To Be Married Series

    ((Link): See other posts in this series.)

    From the Carolyn Hax advice column:

    The ol’ Christian myth that married couples are impervious to sexual sin but singles have lots of sexual sin

    The ol’ Christian myth that married couples are impervious to sexual sin but singles have lots of sexual sin

    I am hence forward going to occasionally copy certain stories to this blog: at times I see news stories or advice columns where a married person is arrested for crime, a woman writes for advice because her spouse is addicted to porn, is a drunkard, or is abusing her – bonus points if the people in these stories are self professing Christians – I may be including it on my blog.

    I currently already have a few examples already (see this page)

    One regularly sees married Christians discriminate against unmarried Christians. For example, most churches, which are run by married people, do not permit unmarried Christians to hold positions of importance, significance, or leadership precisely because of their singlehood.

    One will regularly see Christian authors advise Christian unmarrieds that in order to get a spouse, they must achieve perfection and sinlessness in this lifetime.

    Marriage is held out by some Christians to be a reward for Christians who have all their sh*t together. Never mind the Bible is clear that nobody has their sh*t together all the time in this lifetime. And never mind that I constantly see people way more messed up than me getting married all the time.

    There is a stereotype held by most married people, including Christians, that unmarried people, even the ones over the age of 30, are immature, irresponsible, weird, or horny horn dogs who are more sexually active than a five dollar crack whore.

    Further assumptions by Christians and Non Christians is that one must resemble Brad Pitt or Cindy Crawford if one wants a spouse, yet I frequently see obese males and females, ugly people, or baldlng guys get spouses.

    I see beautiful models, actors, and rock singers who can’t find a date or stay married.

    So I don’t think physical perfection (usually as in air-brushed to death) is a requisite for marriage. (See this page for more, and this page for more.)

    The divorce rate in the USA is high for both Non Christians and Christians. So even though some of these people are tying the knot, they are not staying married. If the stereotype is that one must be perfect before meriting a spouse from God, shouldn’t these perfect people be able to stay married? How can perfect people divorce?

    Then, there is the gross misperception that being married makes one completely immune from falling into sexual sin.

    Here is an excerpt from a page about the impact of pornography on marriages:

    (Link): Porn addiction destroys relationships, lives

      According to the Web site Divorcewizards.com, huge numbers of divorce lawyers report that pornography is a big issue in divorce these days, which it never was before the advent of the Internet.

    There is a Bible verse that alludes to “get married if you are a horn dog” because it’s “better to marry than burn.”

    However, being married does not prevent sexual sin.

    Plenty of married people commit sexual sin – by viewing pornography; using prostitutes; fantasizing, during sex with their spouse, that their spouse is their favorite movie actor; married men look in lust at other women all the time; and on and on.

    At the same time, many preachers, when they bother to address singlehood, tend to narrow their commentary to SEX.

    I’m sure, Mr. Pastor, that you do have a lot of randy 16 year old teen males who frequently confess to you that they’re horn dogs, asking is masturbation a sin, or who confess to looking at “Penthouse.”

    But you know, there are still about (my figure may be wrong, but I think it’s around) one third of adult Christians who have not had sex yet, and some are over the age of 30. Some unmarrieds may engage in fornication or struggle with the temptation, but not all.

    I was at another blog a few days ago, where a Christian guy was discussing why he almost gave up on the Christian faith.

    He got divorced. I think he was in his 30s or 40s when he got divorced. After his divorce, he sank into a deep depression. He confided in his deacons at his church about how depressed he was.

    He got a phone call late one night from one of these deacon guys who said, “You must be struggling with pornography. TELL ME THE TRUTH ARE YOU LOOKING AT PORN?”

    The guy said, “No.” (And he was not). The deacon guy responded, “You can tell me the truth. I bet you are looking at porn! It’s a temptation for a lot of guys!”

    I read this guy’s testimony and was dumbfounded.

    It is just assumed that because he is divorced now that he’s looking at porn? A lot of married Christian men are addicted to porn. (Some married Christian women have also admitted to having online porn or dirty movie addictions.)

    Based on studies I have read, lots of people in marriages or dating relationships get involved in porn because they find sexual release over porn easier or more rewarding than with their partner ((Link): here is one page that discusses it).

    The same studies and other studies say that porn usage changes the brain’s chemicals, so that the person craves more porn.

    These studies say it gets to the the point where boyfriends and husbands PREFER air brushed, fake women in dirty sites and magazines to their flesh and blood partners.

    It’s very insulting, ignorant, and unhelpful for Christians to continue to assume and uphold this stereotype that sexual sin is the snare or province of unmarried people only, when it appears to be a larger problem among the married.

    Continue reading “The ol’ Christian myth that married couples are impervious to sexual sin but singles have lots of sexual sin”