Emma Watson on Being “Self Partnered” (Single) – The Editorial Round Up

Emma Watson on Being “Self Partnered” (Single) – The Editorial Round Up

A week or two ago, movie actress Emma Watson declared herself “self partnered,” rather than use the word “single” to describe her relationship status.

Watson got some amount of confusion or ridicule for using that term. As a never-married woman, I found the term a little strange, but hey, if it works for her, fine by me.

I was engaged for several years, from my late 20s into my early 30s. My ex fiance was a self absorbed idiot. I am better off single than in a relationship with a loser like that. 

Anyway, there have been a few editorials defending Watson on this point, such as this one:

(Link): Emma Watson looked shame in the face and won

Excerpts

…”I never believed the whole ‘I’m happy single’ spiel,” she told Vogue in an interview published this week. “It took me a long time, but I’m very happy [being single]. I call it being self-partnered.”

Now anyone might be forgiven for being blindsided by the “consciously uncoupled”-esque vibe of that remark at first glance. Indeed, many outright jeered. “Self-partnering means you can’t get a bloke, right?” suggested British TV host and, we can only assume, self-appointed relationship expert Piers Morgan.

“What’s wrong with being single?” Twitter users demanded.

But isn’t that kind of the point? If society was kinder to single women, and our associations with the word “single” were generally more positive, there wouldn’t be any need for Watson to coin the phrase.

Continue reading “Emma Watson on Being “Self Partnered” (Single) – The Editorial Round Up”

Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019

Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019

The following piece at The Atlantic (“The Happiness Recession”) was written by marriage-idolater and anti-singleness bigot of The Institute for Family Studies, W. Bradford Wilcox, and co-writer Lyman Stone.

I’d like to remind any new-comers to this blog that I am a life long conservative. I am not a liberal.

Marriage Is Not A Guarantee For Good or Regular Sex

This moronic essay actually suggests that single adults having less sex is what has led to them reporting higher rates of unhappiness, if I’m understanding things correctly.

This, astonishingly, from a right wing organization, (Link): The Institute For Family Studies, that claims to promote “strong families,” and good Lord knows they are obsessed with promoting marriage, even if that comes at the expense of singleness.

The members of this organization regularly publish materials intended to scare, guilt, shame, or pressure single adults into getting married, because this organization exists to promote the nuclear family: hetero-marriage where the couple have children.

Continue reading “Conservatives Have Now Abandoned All Pretense of Advocating For Sexual Abstinence and They Actually Lament the Lack of Fornication – The Bradford Wilcox Piece, 2019”

Unmarried and Undaunted by G. Dalfonzo

Unmarried and Undaunted by G. Dalfonzo

I am not a member of this site, so I cannot access the full article.

My one criticism of this, from what I’ve seen of this little portion, is that it seems to spiritualize singleness.

Spiritualizing it in this manner might possibly bring more respect to adult singles from a Christian marriage-worshipping, Christian marriage-obsessed culture, but for those Christians over the age of 40 who had hoped to marry, this spiritualizing of singleness, to make it sound spiritually noble, is white-washing things.

(Link): Unmarried and Undaunted

Excerpt, from their free article preview:

How singleness can inspire faithful service and hope for the Resurrection.

Christina Hitchcock always assumed she would get married one day. But as years went by and it didn’t happen, she found herself trying to piece together a vision of life without marriage.

Even though she’s now married, Hitchcock, who teaches theology at the University of Sioux Falls in South Dakota, wrote The Significance of Singleness: A Theological Vision for the Future of the Church to show how singleness is a valuable way of life that points us to true fulfillment in Christ.

CT features editor Gina Dalfonzo spoke with Hitchcock about cultivating a renewed understanding of singleness for the whole church.

Why is the vision provided by singleness so important for the church?

Paul’s endorsement of singleness in 1 Corinthians 7 isn’t merely about having more missionaries, more martyrs, or more people with more time for the church. Singleness has theological significance because it tells us something important about who God is and what God is doing.

Continue reading “Unmarried and Undaunted by G. Dalfonzo”

Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

Before I get to the link to the news article about more young people choosing to stay single:

I’d just like to remind anyone out there that not all singles are single by choice. Some singles, like me, had expected and hoped to marry, but we’re still single due to circumstances.

I have to mention this because many conservatives and conservative Christians love to go into shaming mode and criticize adult singles for never marrying.

They especially like to insult, shame, and guilt trip Christian singles; they assume quite incorrectly that all adult singles intentionally chose to avoid marriage.

Many Southern Baptists, for example, like to incorrectly assume that all single females over age 30 chose career over marriage and shame us for being single. In fact, many of us had wanted to be married and did not place career over marriage.

I don’t have an issue with singles who do choose to remain single, however.

They should not be shamed for their choice.

I’m just saying I get sick and tired of Christians, such as Southern Baptist Al Mohler and Christians such as Bradford Wilcox and socialist Mark Regnerus seeing news items like the following, and wrongly assuming that ALL singles remain single by choice.

Al Mohler, other Christians, and secular, conservative think tanks shame and scold singles for not marrying, because they have this incorrect understanding of the Bible that the Bible says God prefers or wants all adults to marry, or, they wrongly believe that the Bible says that marriage “fixes” culture (the Bible does not teach anything like this, but actually says, per 1 Cor 7, that it is better to remain single).

Singles-shaming conservatives also love to write and publish and repeat bogus  studies that claim things like being single is far worse than being married, singles die younger than married people, married people supposedly have better health than singles (they do not), and so on – Bella dePaulo debunks (Link): a lot of those claims on her blog.

(Link): Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single

October 10, 2018

By Christian Gollayan

Millennials are ditching relationships and embracing singledom, according to a new survey.

Tinder and consulting firm Morar HPI surveyed 1,000 singles between 18 to 25 years old and found that 72 percent “have made a conscious decision” to stay single.

“Solo status gives young adults a sense of adventure, independence and empowerment,” the dating app said. “An overwhelming majority of young adults agree that being single benefits them beyond their romantic lives.” Continue reading “Why Millennials Are ‘Consciously’ Choosing To Remain Single”

Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized By Ella Hickey

Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized By Ella Hickey

I’ve noted in older posts how terrible Christian advice on the subjects of dating, marriage, and relationships are – if you’d like to see my posts on those subjects, some of them are linked to below, at the bottom of this post under the “Related Posts” section.

By the way, I would ask you to click on this link below to go to the page and read it, but, be sure to scroll to the bottom of the page to read any posts by single adults who leave comments, including one comment by a 60 year old lady with the screen name “janep75_2173,” who has been divorced for 20+ years, on how badly her local church treats her for being single.

(Link): Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized

What’s missing from Christian books on dating, singleness, and purity

Excerpts:

…. [The author discusses having read numerous Christian books about dating, marriage, and relationships when she was a teen-ager]

….Our theology of singleness and the “not-yet-married” has gone unmonitored, unchanged, and unimpressive for too long. Much of it is built on outdated gender roles and unhelpful clichés that don’t apply easily to today’s dating world.

For example, many of these books assume that sexual attraction is the “burden” of men and not something women struggle with.

Or, many of these books assume that men will lead a dating relationship and women will follow. Others encourage men and women to avoid and fear each other to avoid “stumbling.”

Continue reading “Single People Aren’t Problems to Be Fixed or Threats to Be Neutralized By Ella Hickey”

The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener

The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener

In my few years of writing on this blog, I am still sometimes amazed at the comments I get, especially the remarks I get from the most innocuous of posts.

Never would I have imagined that linking to some article about a 105 year old woman who says she is happy and still alive at 105 because she has never bothered with men would induce someone to come on to my blog to leave me nasty and presumptive comments, but that is what happened.

This married woman named Gladys Wisener stopped by this blog recently, and she engaged in some singles-shaming under (Link): that post about a 105 year old single woman.

When Gladys began saying or assuming some weird, offensive, negative, or insulting things about me, and I understandably got irate and offended in response to her attitude and comments, and I let her know, she replies by telling me I sound “bitter.”

Because that’s what entitled married cows such as her do – they assume if you have a legitimate complaint against their obnoxious- married- people- attitudes and- presumptive- assumptions about you, they assume it can only come from a place of… wait for it… yes, that’s right, it must be due to bitterness.

And the unspoken assumption is that you, you single woman, must be bitter because you’re single and don’t have a husband.

In their thinking, bitterness could be the only possible reason you are correcting a married woman on your blog about singleness for being obnoxious.

Your anger cannot possibly be due to the married person’s hideous, insulting comments to you or about you or about singleness, no, it must be because you are not married!

If only you were married or in a steady relationship, you would not take umbrage at the married person’s condescending comments about you or your blog – married or engaged people would love to be on the receiving end of your lousy assumptions and comments and take them so well.

Continue reading “The Incredibly Condescending and Presumptive Singles-Shaming Posts of Gladys Wisener”

How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days

How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days

(Link): How one man has broken up 4,000 relationships and caused 17 divorces – in just 10 days

And the number is still rising…

by Nicola Oakley

Sitting down to watch Netflix on a Saturday night is something many people do with their other half.

If so, you might want to steer clear of Daniel Sloss’ show – as it might lead to bit of an awkward moment or, worse still, the demise of your relationship.

The Scottish comedian says a 20-minute joke in one of his shows has been responsible for more than 4,000 break-ups.

His live stand-up routines have been streaming on Netflix since September 11 – yes, it only became available to view 10 days ago.

In his show Jigsaw, the 28-year-old, from Fife, rubbishes the notion that everyone has a soulmate, saying the message society puts out is: “If you are not with someone, you are broken. If you are not with someone, you are incomplete. If you are not with someone, you are not whole.”

As a result, we are made to feel as though we need a partner to feel complete – meaning many settle and end up with the wrong person.

Continue reading “How One Man Has Broken Up 4,000 Relationships and Caused 17 Divorces In Just 10 Days”

Why You Will (Eventually) Marry the Right Person by D. Teller

Why You Will (Eventually) Marry the Right Person by D. Teller

(Link): Why You Will (Eventually) Marry the Right Person by D. Teller

Excerpts:

As 2016 drew to a close last month, I opened my newsfeed with dread, braced for more gloomy tidings. Sure enough, amidst the news round-ups and “best of” lists was The New York Times’ most popular article of the year: “Why You Will Marry the Wrong Person.”

…For readers not familiar with the article, written by best-selling philosopher Alain de Botton, allow me to summarize. The author begins with the perceptive, if bleak, observation that humans are terrible at choosing good mates.

Continue reading “Why You Will (Eventually) Marry the Right Person by D. Teller”

Ed Stetzer’s Series on Christianity and Adult Singles, via CT

Ed Stetzer’s Series on Christianity and Adult Singles, via CT

Stetzer  – who has not always done a great job in the past in discussing adult singleness and aspects related (see this link and this link) – has started a new series at Christianity Today about Christianity and adult singleness, specifically, how churches and Christians have habitually marginalized singles and idolized the family unit.

I think he’s planning on writing one or two more essays in this series; currently, he only has part 1 and part 2 up and running.

As he adds more essays in this series (if he does so, I’m unclear as if to there will be future posts), I think my preference is to edit this post to add links to those posts, rather than making separate posts on my blog about it.

Stetzer is covering issues about this I have been blogging about on this blog for the past several years.

One problem I have with one of these pieces is that Stetzer tells married couples not to shy away from be-friending single adults, because marrieds refusing to friend single adults can unfairly ostracize singles – which is fine advice – I’m all for married people friend-ing single people, yet (here is where the problematic part comes in) –

Yet, however, in 2014, Stetzer essentially told married couples in (Link): another article on Christianity Today magazine article to treat all singles like potential adulterers, to basically practice the “Billy Graham Rule,” and stay away from single adults of the opposite sex, because opposite – sex friendships will all supposedly end in an affair.

Which is not true. I’m a never-married woman, but I would not have an affair with a married man.

Singles are no more prone to committing sexual sins than married people.

There are plenty of examples of married people having extra-marital affairs with another married person. (There are plenty of husbands who have affairs with another man’s wife.)

Marriage does not make adults immune from committing (sexual) sin – note (Link): how many married Christian (and Non-Christian) men have been caught looking at porn, arrested for child molesting, hiring prostitutes, or having affairs.

Here’s the link to his first post in the series, the second is below:

(Link):  Singles: A Vital Part of Our Churches, Part 1– by Ed Stetzer

Excerpts:

Singles make up half of our churches, so we best learn to treat all people—married or single—equally

Let me just get this out there at the outset: For many, being single in the church can sometimes feel very awkward.

I have heard a number of singles tell me stories that have made me cringe—stories of how the leadership and the marrieds in the church spoke or acted in ways that were silly at best and dishonoring at worst.

Continue reading “Ed Stetzer’s Series on Christianity and Adult Singles, via CT”

Marriage & Motherhood Are No Longer The Milestones Of Adulthood. Now What? by J. Filipovic

Marriage & Motherhood Are No Longer The Milestones Of Adulthood. Now What? by J. Filipovic

I’ve done several blog posts on this blog for years now mentioning how secular culture used to equate getting married as signifying one is an adult – and they unfortunately still do this in regards to sexual intercourse: you’re not considered a true adult until you have sex.

Christian culture is 100 times worse at both: Christians are not counter-cultural. They like to think they stand in opposition to the moral decay and laxity of sexual values in our society, but they actually take those secular attitudes and run with them. Christians can be ten times worse at maintaining and perpetuating falsehoods about sex and marriage more so than the secular culture they often complain about.

Christians also regard sex and marriage as necessary rites into adulthood. If you are over the age of 25 or 30, not married yet, and still a virgin, Christians also think you are stunted, repressed, weird, a freak, and you’re immature.

Christians don’t seem to stop and think that Jesus of Nazareth never married and never had sex, and the Apostle Paul actually wrote to the Corinthians it was better to remain single and celibate rather than to marry and have sex.

(Link):  Marriage & Motherhood Are No Longer The Milestones Of Adulthood. Now What? by J. Filipovic, June 2018

Excerpts:

… As more and more women around the world delay marriage and childbearing, or never marry or have children at all, the traditional markers of adulthood are shifting.

Half a century ago, adulthood in America came along with marriage, then a home, then children, in that order, with women typically marrying before they turned 20.

Today, the average woman marries at 27, while the average age of first birth is just over 26 — in other words, many women are having babies before marriage, and many others aren’t getting married or having babies at all.

Continue reading “Marriage & Motherhood Are No Longer The Milestones Of Adulthood. Now What? by J. Filipovic”

The Sexless Life When Sex Is God by D. French

The Sexless Life When Sex Is God by D. French

(The link to the editorial by D. French is farther below)

Overall, it’s a good essay, though I can’t say as though I totally agree with this author’s suggestion, which involves teaching people to put faith in God, or a god, because, he believes, one issue with incel men is that they have turned sex into a deity.

And that may well be true – perhaps incels have turned sex into a deity, but I’m not sure asking them to turn to God will necessarily fix this issue.

Why? Because more and more Americans are post-Christian, or, if they still believe in God, they now regard themselves as “nones” or “dones” and have been leaving churches in droves.  There is little to no respect by such people for what churches or pastors are saying or preaching.

Not only that, but a lot of Christians, as I have blogged about repeatedly on this site, have also turned sex into a deity themselves.

I have many examples on my blogs of pastors who mock and disparage singleness, celibacy, and adult virginity, who go on and on in their sermons about how great marriage is and how great sex is.

One of a few solutions I put forth is this: since our (secular) culture esteems choice so highly, remind the third-wave feminists and the sexist bro-dudes who worship sex, that if they expect everyone to respect their choice to have, or to want, pre-marital sex, that they need to return that favor and respect those, who by choice or circumstance, are virgins into adulthood, or who practice celibacy.

Some feminists yell, scream, and complain about “slut shaming,” but some of them (and the wider culture) likes to practice Celibate Shaming and Virgin Shaming, which I’ve blogged about many times before (with some examples).

Continue reading “The Sexless Life When Sex Is God by D. French”

Is Early Marriage Really THAT Counter-Cultural? I Think Not – Re: Christianity Today Editorial by Rebecca Brewster Stevenson

Is Early Marriage Really THAT Counter-Cultural? I Think Not – Re: Christianity Today Editorial by Rebecca Brewster Stevenson

So, I saw this headline from Christianity Today.

This seems to be an annual thing with Christians.

At least once a year, I see a major Christian magazine or blog publish some kind of article lamenting the declining marriage rates, or the rising age of first marriage, and that also push the idea that people should marry before they hit the ripe old age of 22.

Here we go again. Yet another one. (There will probably be another one in 2019, and one in the year after that, and so on and so forth.)

I notice that often times that the people who write these types of articles admit to having married pre-age 25.

I take it that the REAL motivation is that these people feel defensive about their life choice – they feel as though culture is “looking down their noses” at them for marrying young because most people today are not marrying at all, or not until they get to age 30.

The thing is, though, nobody cares that they married when they were 21! These sorts of articles are largely unnecessary.

If anything, the opposite type of editorial is needed, because authors like this one shame or judge people for not marrying young, or for not marrying at all. Christians continue to push marriage and baby-making as the “norm,” when the Bible does no such thing.

I will excerpt the editorial then comment on it below:

(Link): Why I’m Happy My Son Married at 20

Excerpts from that editorial:

In a world of hookups and cohabitation, he took a leap— and made an act— of faith.

by REBECCA BREWSTER STEVENSON

…Then in 2013, the Knot Yet Report revealed that those averages are higher still: Couples now are postponing marriage to age 29 for men and 27 for women.

Continue reading “Is Early Marriage Really THAT Counter-Cultural? I Think Not – Re: Christianity Today Editorial by Rebecca Brewster Stevenson”

It’s Better To Be Single, According To Science by Erin Brodwin

(Link): It’s Better To Be Single, According To Science by Erin Brodwin

Excerpts:

  • Being single has a handful of benefits, scientific research has found.
  • Studies suggest that single people tend to have stronger social networks and develop more as individuals.
  • They even tend to be physically fitter.

Being single has a handful of benefits, scientific research has found. Alone time is one of them.

Single people are more likely to not only embrace solitude, but benefit from it, recent studies have suggested.

Bella DePaulo, a psychologist at the University of California Santa Barbara, advocates the single life and travels the nation to present these findings, which she says are too often dismissed by the larger psychology community.

In a TEDx Talk she gave last spring, she called (Link): living single her “happily ever after.”

Studies suggest she’s onto something.

Continue reading “It’s Better To Be Single, According To Science by Erin Brodwin”

Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo

Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo

Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo

Excerpts:

The power of marriage to transform allegedly forlorn single people into blissfully happy and healthy couples is not just the stuff of fairy tales. For more than 70 years, social scientists’ studies havesupposedly shown that marrying improves people’s wellness. Award-winning scholars and leading magazines have all proclaimed that marriage typically makes people healthier and happier.

The promise is seductive: Find and marry that one special someone and all your dreams will come true.

Recently, though, new and methodologically sophisticated studies have been published that suggest something startling: Maybe we are wrong about the benefits of marriage. People who marry, it seems, do not become healthier than when they were single, and may even become a shade less healthy.

They do not become lastingly happier, either.

Continue reading “Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo”

Fewer People Are Getting Married – And That’s A Good Thing by J. Wright

Fewer People Are Getting Married – And That’s A Good Thing by J. Wright

If you are new to my blog, I’d like to inform you that I am a conservative, a right winger.

I am not against “the family unit” or against marriage, but, I have noticed that a lot of other conservatives have disparaged singleness and have elevated marriage (as well as parenting and natalism) in to false idols they worship.

So, I’m not against marriage, babies, or the nuclear family, but I am opposed to the over-emphasis upon those things by my fellow conservatives.

(Link): Fewer People Are Getting Married – And That’s A Good Thing by J. Wright

Excerpts:

In a week full of terrible things, the Wall Street Journal published an essay entitled  (Link): “Cheap Sex and the Decline of Marriage” that pondered, “Why is marriage in retreat among young Americans? Because it is now much easier for men to find sexual satisfaction outside marriage.”

“Women: They’re Destroying Everything with Their Sluttery” is, I suppose, kind of a fun theory for an article if your readers hate women.

But the notion that unmarried young people are having an unprecedented amount of sex is without basis in fact. Studies from the (Link): Archives of Sexual Behavior indicate that extramarital sex is actually on the decline. Baby boomers are estimated to have 11 average sexual partners over their lifetimes, while millennials are expected to have only eight.

It stands to reason that women as well as men are having less cheap and easy sex.

Oh, well.

Continue reading “Fewer People Are Getting Married – And That’s A Good Thing by J. Wright”

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog

Warning: I discovered through further reading that the author of the blog is a complementarian. I disagree with complementarianism; more on that below.

Had I known from the start she is a complementarian, I may not have started composing this post. I am leery of pointing anyone to a complementarian resource, but here we are.


As of today, I see only a small number of posts on the The Rhetoric of Singleness blog, dating from April 2017, and this blog appears to be from a Christian perspective – but then, her blog does not display a list or pull down menu of all her posts.

Even though the blog looks to be on hiatus, I’ll link to it on the off chance the blogger resumes writing again.

The person behind this blog says she’s single, in her 30s, and has yet to marry but would like to.

(Link): The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – main page

Some of the only posts I am seeing on this blog include:

(Link): Pursuing Marriage

In that “Pursuing Marriage” post, she says she is a believer in gender complementarianism.

For example, here’s part of what she writes:

So, what options does that leave me, a woman with a complementary view of gender roles, of pursuing marriage? I know for some women who see no options left to them there is a strong temptation to bitterness, resentment, and to denigrate our single brothers who are called by God to the leadership role in the pursuit of marriage.

// end excerpt

Oh no. I (Link): used to be a complementarian myself but ditched it by my mid 30s.

I heard all the same stuff from conservative Christians growing up, as this other blogger likely did, such as, how (Link): men are supposed to be the heads in marriages, God supposedly created women pretty much to exist (Link): only to wait on menand so on.

(And I remained a conservative, even after I realized that complementarianism is false and actually quite sexist – it doesn’t just teach that men and women “complement” one another but that there should be a male hierarchy, of men ruling over women.

Contrary to what complementarians would have you believe, abandoning gender complementarianism will not turn you into a left wing, abortion-supporting, man-hating feminist. I am still right wing, even after leaving complementarianism.)

I am no longer a complementarian, but can pin point complementarianism, among a few other things, as being (Link): one reason as to why I am in my 40s and never got married.

Continue reading “The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts”

Even If You’re Married You Can Die Alone – Elderly Married Couple Found Dead

Even If You’re Married You Can Die Alone – Elderly Married Couple Found Dead

Sad story linked to below.

One scare tactic people (usually my fellow conservatives) will pull on singles to get them to hurry up and marry is to tell them that if they remain single, they will die alone, or that being married some how makes dying easier.

By the way, side note, here – if the church did its job and acted as spiritual family to everyone, instead of focusing on their blood relations, then elderly single people who are unrelated to them would do just fine.

A  Christian man or woman should not have to marry to have “family” look after them – if churches stopped worshipping The Nuclear Family and actually got off their marriage-worshipping asses, they could look after elderly people who live alone!

Anyway, about this view that you should marry or have to so that you won’t die alone: this is a pretty dumb argument, because married people die alone all the time.

My mother died in the wee hours of the morning in a hospital. She was supposed to be there for only about a week before returning home.

My father and I were not with her when she passed – we got a phone call from the nursing staff that she had passed away. My mother was married to my father. Her being married did not prevent her from dying, nor was my father with her when she died.

In this story below, an elderly married couple died.  They were ‘kind of’ together when they died, but it did not help them.

The husband in the story had dementia, and the wife could not walk, or not walk well.

The husband accidentally drove off the road, got the car stuck in the mud, left his wife in the car to go get help, walked down the street – he died (not sure if he had a heart attack or what).

His wife died in the car, some X feet away from her husband who was dead on the road side.

She was in the car alone in temperatures over 80 degrees. (Remember, she could not walk, or found it difficult, and her son or the cops or whomever, found her wheelchair back at her house, it was not in the car with her.)

Okay: so you can be married and still end up dying. You can end up dying alone.

I’m not sure if your husband dying a few feet of where you are (as in this story) would be any more comforting than your husband not being there at all.

So to all the singleness-shamers out there, stop telling us singles that we’ll die all alone, because you know what, married people? You may die all alone, too.

Not everyone dies in a warm, cozy bed surrounded with the smiling faces of loved ones before they kick off.

(Link):  He was his wife’s caretaker for decades but got dementia. Their deaths were ‘horrific’

BY SAMANTHA SCHMIDT

Aug 2017

…Getting around became even more difficult for the Tarnowskis – Mary, 78, and Ron, 81. The couple hardly ever left the home which their son, Karl Tarnowski, built adjacent to his own so he could keep an eye on them.

…On Saturday afternoon, eight days after the couple went missing, the family received their answer, and a tragic end to their strenuous search.

A U.S. Border Patrol helicopter found the couple’s Chevy Tahoe on an overgrown, abandoned driveway in a swampy area off the road just two miles away from the family’s hunting property.

They were near Brookston, a town about 30 miles from their Duluth home.

Continue reading “Even If You’re Married You Can Die Alone – Elderly Married Couple Found Dead”

Bugging Your Friend to Get Into a Relationship? How Amatonormative of You. by L. Bonos

Bugging Your Friend to Get Into a Relationship? How Amatonormative of You. by L. Bonos

(Link): Bugging Your Friend to Get Into a Relationship? How Amatonormative of You. by L. Bonos

Excerpts:

Being single is not necessarily a problem to be fixed, but it often gets treated that way. In women’s magazines that trumpet how to find your soul mate. In rom-coms where the hot mess of a single protagonist ends up with a man. In conversations in which married friends presume that their single friends would automatically be better off with a partner, any partner.

But what’s a single person to do when what she needs most is … to stop getting so much unsolicited advice?

Continue reading “Bugging Your Friend to Get Into a Relationship? How Amatonormative of You. by L. Bonos”

Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith

Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith and Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): Flying Solo in a Family-Centered Church by Joy Beth Smith and Gina Dalfonzo

Excerpts:

Gina Dalfonzo shares an insider’s perspective on the frustrations of long-term singleness


This was never the life I imagined. My friends and I often sit around wondering how we got here. What boys did we pass up? What mistakes did we make?

What routines did we neglect, leaving us sleeping alone while the ticking of our biological clocks lulls us into fitful dreams? I don’t feel equipped for singleness.

All the youth group dating advice was predicated on the idea that marriage was in my future, that if I made all the right choices, kept myself pure, and sought after God, he would reward me with a husband. I’ve only recently gotten to a place where I can ask myself, But what if he doesn’t?

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What If Marriage Is Overrated? – A social psychologist has been chipping away at many claims about marriage changing one’s life for the better

What If Marriage Is Overrated? – A social psychologist has been chipping away at many claims about marriage changing one’s life for the better

(Link):  What If Marriage Is Overrated?  by Jesse Singal
– A social psychologist has been chipping away at many claims about marriage changing one’s life for the better

When I attended the American Psychological Association’s annual conference in Denver last August, the best and most well-attended talk I saw was by (Link): Bella DePaulo, a social psychologist at the University of California, Santa Barbara, who studies single people.

For years, DePaulo has been chipping away at the commonly held belief — a myth, in her view and according to her research — that marriage offers unique happiness and well-being benefits. These findings are seriously overstated or misleading, DePaulo has argued, and if there weren’t so much intense social pressure to get married, a lot more people would be single, and many of them might be happier as a result.

Continue reading “What If Marriage Is Overrated? – A social psychologist has been chipping away at many claims about marriage changing one’s life for the better”