Singles: Don’t Let Valentine’s Day Wreck Your Life By Lisa Anderson

Singles: Don’t Let Valentine’s Day Wreck Your Life By Lisa Anderson

For a Christian-penned essay, this is pretty good (the link, with excerpts, is below).

I usually find most Christian- authored material about singleness to be off mark, but this was pretty good.

Pair of Valentine's Day Hearts A word from me about Valentine’s Day, that echoes what the author below says:
If you’re single, want to be married, but still find yourself single into your 30s, 40s, or older, Valentine’s Day can be a painful and/or frustrating holiday.

With the passage of time, though, as I came to accept my singleness (I had wanted to be married for years, but it never came to pass), as more and more time went by, Valentine’s Day stopped bothering me.

Maybe the same will be true for you, if you’re single, don’t want to be single, and find Valentine’s to be a difficult holiday.

I initially found Valentine’s Day sad, then after a few years (as I was still single), I was annoyed or angered by it – then after a few more years (still single), it just stopped bothering me – I’d say this was some time around my mid or late 40s, age-wise.

I was kind of apathetic about this holiday by around my late 40s. These days, I actually kind of enjoy Valentine’s Day.

In my family, when I was growing up, Valentine’s Day was not just about romantic love; my Mom used to give us (my siblings and myself) Valentine’s (cards and candy), and as I got older, my Dad usually gives me a Valentine’s card, I send them either via snail mail or on social media to my sister, she sends them to me, and I sometimes give my Dad a card.

You don’t have to have a boyfriend or a husband to celebrate the holiday. You can still send cards or candy to family or friends.

My point being, as time goes by, the holiday loses its sting – at least it did for me. You may even come to enjoy it, the more you accept the fact that marriage hasn’t happened for you. I’ve actually come to enjoy Valentine’s.

This year, I bought a couple of bags of chocolate candy on sale prior to the holiday; they are heart-shaped chocolates in red- colored wrappers, and I had a handful on Valentine’s Day. I treated myself, and it felt good.

I don’t know where you are in acceptance of your singles status, but if you’re still struggling, know that with the passage of time, it will probably get easier for you.

(Link): Singles: Don’t Let Valentine’s Day Wreck Your Life By Lisa Anderson

Excerpts:

….I chose long ago to face February 14th without fear. If you’re single with no romantic prospects in sight, here are a few ideas for how to do the same.

It’s OK to be sad. Valentine’s Day is marketed for couples, and if you don’t have a plus-one, it’s easy to feel left out. Whether you’ve been overlooked in love, you’ve recently walked through a breakup or divorce, or perhaps the love of your life has died, love lost is something to be grieved.

Don’t be ashamed to give yourself the time and space you need.

Continue reading “Singles: Don’t Let Valentine’s Day Wreck Your Life By Lisa Anderson”

Instagram is Making Valentine’s Day Even Lonelier by Margaret Renkl

Instagram is Making Valentine’s Day Even Lonelier

(Link): Instagram is Making Valentine’s Day Even Lonelier

On New York Times: “A Valentine’s P.S.A.: Instagram Is Not Your Friend Today”

Excerpts:

by Margaret Renkl

By now, whatever time of day you read this essay, your Facebook and Instagram feeds are most likely filled with hothouse flowers and lovely hand-dipped chocolates and stories of the funny way two people met, how lucky they are to have found each other, how grateful they feel, on this day of love especially, to be moving through the world together. Such stories can be incredibly sweet, but their cumulative effect is … not. valentinesRosesCandy

…Thing is, it makes a lot of people feel awful. They’re already lonely, and along comes Valentine’s Day to rub their noses in it.

Or they’re perfectly happy in their own relationships, but everyone else’s relationships suddenly look happier somehow. Sweeter. Tenderer. Filled with better chocolate.

…But much of the unhappiness engendered by “social” media doesn’t come from its poisonous effect on society. It comes from its poisonous effect on us.

Other people’s beautifully curated Facebook and Instagram posts are no closer to real life than reality TV is, and maybe we even know it, but it still makes us feel bad.

“I don’t know very many people that come away from 30 minutes on Instagram feeling really good about who they are,” the designer and podcaster Debbie Millman told Kara Swisher last week in an interview on Sway.

Continue reading “Instagram is Making Valentine’s Day Even Lonelier by Margaret Renkl”

American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop 

American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop 

(Link): American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop 

Priorities for couples on Valentine’s Day have also shifted, while some people who are single say the holiday brings too much pressure

By Maria Pasquini
February 14, 2022

Although American adults are having less sex and exchanging less rings than they once did, romance isn’t dead — and neither is relationship satisfaction.

Yellow Smiling Heart ImageIn 2021 findings reported by (Link): CNN, nearly 26% of adults said they (Link): didn’t have sex once over the past 12 months, according to the General Social Survey.

The results were up from 23.3% in 2018 and 22.5% in 2016, which were the last two times the recurring survey had been completed.

In contrast, when the survey was conducted 20 years earlier, only 18.7% of adults reported not having any sex.

The Washington Post previously reported that the change has been most pronounced in younger adults. Between 2008 and 2018, the percentage of Americans between the ages of 18 to 29 not having sex doubled. (Meanwhile, numbers for adults over the age of 50 have (Link): stayed largely consistent since 1989.)

As a possible explanation behind the data, Jean Twenge, a professor of psychology at San Diego State University, told the newspaper at the time that “there are more people in their twenties who don’t have a live-in partner…so under those circumstances I think less sex is going to happen.”

In their most recent survey, GSS also reported that the number of adults with a live-in partner has continued to decrease.

Although 70% of respondents said they were living in the same house as their spouse in 1989, only 48% of American adults reported being in the same situation in 2021.

The number of adults who said they did not have a steady partner has also increased in that time period, reaching 30% last year.

However, the good news is that the majority of adults who are in relationships report feeling romantically satisfied with their partner.

….However, whether you’re single or in a relationship, recent surveys all show that people are less into celebrating Valentine’s Day the traditional way.  

Continue reading “American Romance Standards Are Changing as People Have Less Sex and Marriage Rates Drop “

Valentine’s Day is Used to Push ‘Kinks’ and ‘Polyamory’ on America’s College Campuses

Valentine’s Day is Used to Push ‘Kinks’ and ‘Polyamory’ on America’s College Campuses

I really think that Valentine’s Day should be about (non-sexual) love. I bet none of these idiot colleges will celebrate Valentine’s Day by advising celibacy.

(Link): Valentine’s Day is Used to Push ‘Kinks’ and ‘Polyamory’ on America’s College Campuses

Excerpts:

Universities around the country are celebrating Valentine’s Day with sexually explicit events and giveaways.

February 11, 2022
by Peter Cordi

As Valentine’s Day approaches, schools across the country are observing the holiday with sex toy giveaways, condom art, and sexually explicit educational events. Red Valentine's Day Heart

Campus Reform took a look at how a number of different universities are celebrating Valentine’s Day, or “Sex Week.”

Princeton University

At Princeton University, students will celebrate “National Condom Day” with a condom sculpture contest at an event called LatEXHIBITION.

At this Feb. 14 event, students will form small groups and compete to “create something beautiful and educational” out of expired condoms.

Continue reading “Valentine’s Day is Used to Push ‘Kinks’ and ‘Polyamory’ on America’s College Campuses”

Brands Let Customers Opt Out of Valentine’s Day Deluge

Brands Let Customers Opt Out of Valentine’s Day Deluge

(Link): Brands Let Customers Opt Out of Valentine’s Day Deluge

by S. Gordon

More and more brands are giving their customers a heads up and the chance to opt out of marketing emails ahead of holidays like Valentine’s Day.

Why it matters: Advertisements and promotions around holidays — particularly ones that celebrate relationships — can cause anxiety and depression. And we’re bombarded with them: Overall, we’ve gone from being exposed to around 500 ads a day in the 1970s to around 5,000 a day now.

A growing number of retailers, florists, media companies and more are taking a thoughtful approach to marketing, trying not to inundate their customers with ads that’ll hurt them.

Continue reading “Brands Let Customers Opt Out of Valentine’s Day Deluge”

Police: Put Your Loser Ex Behind Bars for Valentine’s Day

Police: Put Your Loser Ex Behind Bars for Valentine’s Day

(Link): Police: Put Your Loser Ex Behind Bars for Valentine’s Day

By Hannah Sparks
Feb 4, 2022

… Pair of Valentine's Day HeartsA police department in Georgia has endorsed an empowering alternative to the romanticized traditions of Valentine’s Day.

As millions of couples exchange flowers, chocolate and others gifts, the Rockmart Police Department, located about an hour west of Atlanta, encouraged their followers on Facebook to get back at their ex (or current partner!) with the help of local law enforcement.

Continue reading “Police: Put Your Loser Ex Behind Bars for Valentine’s Day”

Valentine’s Day Messaging For Singles: Empowering Or Exploitative? by Grace Stearns

Valentine’s Day Messaging For Singles: Empowering Or Exploitative? by G.  Stearns

(Link): Valentine’s Day Messaging For Singles: Empowering Or Exploitative? by G.  Stearns

Excerpts:

Single people are finally getting the attention they deserve from marketers — but are brands exploiting a culture of singles shaming that they helped create?

For decades, Valentine’s Day has offered burnt out marketers the sweet relief of a turnkey campaign: a few animated hearts, a flirty pink font, and sultry copy pull on heartstrings (and guilty consciences) until sweethearts around the world are rushing out to buy overpriced cards and chocolates.

But in recent years, a different side of the Valentine’s Day marketing cycle has emerged: rebellious taglines and “treat yo’self” campaigns targeted directly at single people, encouraging them to eschew tradition and celebrate themselves on the international day of love.

While it may seem, at first glance, like a good thing that marketers are finally speaking to everyone (not just those that are blissfully in love), this movement warrants a bit of healthy skepticism.

Let’s unpack this new trend.

Continue reading “Valentine’s Day Messaging For Singles: Empowering Or Exploitative? by Grace Stearns”

Valentine’s Day is Stupid, But Men Should Stop Complaining about It by Kat Timpf

Valentine’s Day is Stupid, But Men Should Stop Complaining about It by Kat Timpf

(Link): Valentine’s Day is Stupid, But Men Should Stop Complaining about It by Kat Timpf

Excerpts:

….After all, Valentine’s Day is the worst. I mean, who cares? All it means is that all of your social-media platforms are going to be flooded with pictures of other people’s flowers, complete with captions about how they were gifted by BEST BOYFRIEND IN THE WORLD, while you watch your cat lick up the crumbs from the cookies that you’re eating alone in bed. (Just me?) Even when I’ve been in a relationship, I still haven’t cared about it much because I have a career and a life and other things to worry about besides showing off my relationship on Instagram to make the cat-crumbs people feel bad about themselves.

That being said, I’d still have to say that the only thing more ridiculous than Valentine’s Day is probably the fact that men are complaining about having to spend a little cash to celebrate it.

Continue reading “Valentine’s Day is Stupid, But Men Should Stop Complaining about It by Kat Timpf”

A Valentine’s Ode to Friendship by P. Jane

A Valentine’s Ode to Friendship by P. Jane

Hunh. This article did not turn out to be as good as I was expecting it to be.

Marriage does not bring meaning or happiness to people’s lives.

If you are counting on a spouse to meet all your needs (emotional and otherwise) think again, because I have plenty of examples on my blog of women who divorced abusive, insensitive, or controlling men, or women who are in lonely marriages, where their husband puts watching football or his job before spending time with his wife.

I have an article on my blog about a woman whose husband developed early dementia in his early 40s, which she said left her feeling like a widow, because his mental faculties degraded to the point he was like a big slobbering baby. She became lonely in her marriage.

That is why married people need to stop fixating so much on their spouse and try to make platonic friends outside the marriage.

(Link): A Valentine’s Ode to Friendship

Excerpts:

I wasn’t ready to date after my husband died suddenly a year ago. I felt heartsick. But I also felt lonely. I had spent the previous 30 years writing alone in a room, which was great when I had a family who magically materialized at the end of the day.

But now, with my husband gone and my daughter off to college, writing alone in a room all day no longer seemed appealing. I needed someone to talk and laugh with, face to face.

Or F2F, as they say on the dating sites.

Online dating sites were offering Valentine’s specials:
“Valentine’s Day is a celebration of love and friendship. Join now and get two months free!”

Continue reading “A Valentine’s Ode to Friendship by P. Jane”

Response to the Alex Parker Piece ‘Feminist Rages Against GirlPal ‘Galentine’s Day,’ Says No Women Are Lonely, Praises Group Vomiting’

Response to the Alex Parker Piece ‘Feminist Rages Against GirlPal ‘Galentine’s Day,’ Says No Women Are Lonely, Praises Group Vomiting’

A conservative editorialist at the Town Hall site, Alex Parker (who I assume is a man), mocks an (Link): anti-Galentine’s Day essay written by a secular, liberal feminist named Rachel Hosie.

“Galentine’s Day” is a new holiday where women friends can celebrate their friendships with each other on February 13th.

The secular feminist that Parker is responding to believes that Galentine’s Day is patronizing to single women, so she is not in support of the holiday.

As a never-married woman who is over 45 years of age who had wanted to be married, but it didn’t come to pass for me, I came to terms with being never-married years ago, so Valentine’s Day no longer bothers me the way it used to.

I don’t have strong feelings for or against Galentine’s Day.

While Hosie’s contention may be true that Galentine’s Day is patronizing towards single adulthood (which is a bad thing), I see it as ultimately a harmless day for women to spend enjoying the friendship of their women friends, so I don’t object to the holiday.

I do however object to a few of the points that Parker made while trying to dismantle Hosie’s arguments.

I will provide excerpts from the Parker editorial and then offer my observations:

(Link): Feminist Rages Against GirlPal ‘Galentine’s Day,’ Says No Women Are Lonely, Praises Group Vomiting

Excerpts:

[Hosie the liberal feminist writes,]

Actually, we don’t need your pity — and the whole concept perpetuates the ridiculous myth of the sad, single woman.

[To which conservative Parker replies,]

The ridiculous myth?? How is it a myth, and how is it ridiculous?

Men want women, and women want men; that’s why we have February 14th … Thursday’s gonna find some people without dates; some portion of those will have ovaries; and some of those are gonna be none too thrilled.

Oh, wait — I forgot; this is 2019.

Okay…women aren’t women and men aren’t men and women don’t have to be like men or women, and there are no men or women…
–(end quotes)—-

My comments regarding this portion of the exchange:

Spinsters and Crazy Cat Ladies

I cannot believe Parker is feigning ignorance of the “sad, pathetic” single woman trope.

Being a conservative who is critiquing a liberal or feminist essay does not mean having to act ignorant of certain societal truths in the process.

Continue reading “Response to the Alex Parker Piece ‘Feminist Rages Against GirlPal ‘Galentine’s Day,’ Says No Women Are Lonely, Praises Group Vomiting’”

Will You Survive Red Tuesday? More Couples Split in the Week of Valentine’s Day Than Any Other – And the Top Day to Get Dumped Is Tomorrow by H. Richardson

Will You Survive Red Tuesday? More Couples Split in the Week of Valentine’s Day Than Any Other – And the Top Day to Get Dumped Is Tomorrow by H. Richardson

(Link): Will You Survive Red Tuesday? More Couples Split in the Week of Valentine’s Day Than Any Other – And the Top Day to Get Dumped Is Tomorrow

According to a recent survey, the most popular way to end a relationship is by text, followed by a phone call and a chat face-to-face

MANY couples will be looking forward to celebrating the most romantic night of the year later this week.

That’s if they manage to get through tomorrow, which has been dubbed Red Tuesday due to it being the top day of the year to get dumped.

Continue reading “Will You Survive Red Tuesday? More Couples Split in the Week of Valentine’s Day Than Any Other – And the Top Day to Get Dumped Is Tomorrow by H. Richardson”

Galentine’s Day – Because Nobody Likes Valentine’s Day Anymore

Galentine’s Day – Because Nobody Likes Valentine’s Day Anymore

I started seeing mentions of “Galentine’s” day show up in my Twitter a few days ago.

It has something to do with women friends celebrating their friendship with each other, instead of celebrating Valentine’s Day – or this article below says it’s celebrated on February 13th, the day before Valentine’s.

(Link): What Is Galentine’s Day? Leslie Knope’s Favorite Holiday Is Something We Should All Celebrate

… Basically, it’s like Valentine’s Day, only instead of celebrating the love you have for your significant other, you spend it with your best girlfriends, who are, after all, your soul mates, and therefore deserve a holiday all to themselves, too.

Leslie chooses to observe the day of lady love with brunch (her other true love), but you can kick it back lady-style however you want. Since the episode aired in 2010, it’s become just as big a deal as its Valentine’s Day counterpart. Ovaries before brovaries, you know?

Continue reading “Galentine’s Day – Because Nobody Likes Valentine’s Day Anymore”