What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers – Critique: Some Christians Marketing Sexual Abstinence as “Purity in Jesus”

What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers – Critique: Some Christians Marketing Sexual Abstinence as “Purity in Jesus”

I have a lot of commentary to make below this long article, because one of the topics I discuss below is one aspect that bugs me when reading how Christians have been addressing the topic of sexual abstinence and fornication for the past decade or so:

(Link): What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers

By Nicole Alcindor, December 20, 2021

While many Christians are taught that premarital sex and cohabitation aren’t advisable for many reasons, a growing number of single believers are following secular society’s model instead of the biblical model. 

In the most recent episode of “Challenging Conversations” on the edifi podcast network, host Jason Jimenez, who’s also a pastor and founder of Stand Strong Ministries, was joined by apologist Sean McDowell to discuss why some 60% of professing Christians believe cohabitation and sex outside of marriage are OK.

Jimenez said he and McDowell, who hosts classes on premarital sex and marriage at Summit Ministries, wanted to speak truth in love, as Ephesians 4:15 says, and began the discussion by reading what the Biblical Counseling Coalition says about sex outside of marriage:

[P]remarital cohabitation has become common in the Church because many Christians have made today’s secular values their own. Our society cherishes ‘trying before buying,’ convenience at any cost, sex without rules, companionship without commitment, and relationship without responsibility — everything premarital cohabitation provides. Instead of questioning such values — if not downright opposing them — countless Christians have adopted them. It’s no wonder so many of them are living together before tying the knot.

Speaking about the saturation of unbiblical ideas about sex, pornography and relationships that Gen Zers and youth are exposed to, McDowell noted that, unlike the 1980s and ’90s when exposure was limited to select movies, MTV and a few other sources, today, youth have easy access to porn and are inundated with unhealthy messages.  

Continue reading “What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers – Critique: Some Christians Marketing Sexual Abstinence as “Purity in Jesus””

Pope Francis Says ‘Sins of the Flesh’ Aren’t that ‘Serious’ – Joins His Baptist and Protestant Counterparts in Downplaying Sexual Sin

Pope Francis Says ‘Sins of the Flesh’ Aren’t that ‘Serious’ – Joins His Baptist and Protestant Counterparts in Downplaying Sexual Sin

This Roman Catholic Pope now joins the many Baptists, Protestants, evangelicals, and social conservatives who have given up on upholding celibacy and sexual abstinence until marriage in the last several years.

(Link): Pope Francis Says ‘Sins of the Flesh’ Aren’t that ‘Serious’

By Hannah Frishberg
December 8, 2021

Lust is not the worst of the seven deadly sins, according to Pope Francis.

There are worse indiscretions than sex outside of marriage, the leader of the Catholic Church told reporters on the papal plane while en route from Greece to Italy on Monday, Reuters reported.

“Sins of the flesh are not the most serious,” the 84-year-old religious leader said regarding sex outside of marriage. Top transgressions instead include pride and hatred, according to Reuters.

Continue reading “Pope Francis Says ‘Sins of the Flesh’ Aren’t that ‘Serious’ – Joins His Baptist and Protestant Counterparts in Downplaying Sexual Sin”

27 Eye-Opening Confessions About Relationships From People Who Have Been Single Their Entire Lives

27 Eye-Opening Confessions About Relationships From People Who Have Been Single Their Entire Lives

(Link): 27 Eye-Opening Confessions About Relationships From People Who Have Been Single Their Entire Lives

Excerpts:

“I’m 34 and a virgin. It just hasn’t happened for me.”

by Liz Richardson

Recently, we wrote a post where people shared the joys and struggles of what it’s like to have never been in a relationship. In the comments, many readers from the BuzzFeed Community felt seen and heard and shared their own experiences and perspectives as single people who have never been in a relationship.

Here are their stories:

1. “I’m 34 and a virgin. It just hasn’t happened for me.”
“I feel like there’s something wrong with me, and I just don’t want to deal with it. I feel like I’m unlovable, but I’m so comfortable in my own routine that I’m scared to let anyone disrupt it.”

—mythandry

2. “I am 24 years old, and I’ve never been in a relationship. Sometimes I think it’s the generation we live in.”
“Even though my family is close, I feel lonely. If it wasn’t for them or my canine friends, I wouldn’t have anyone to love or care about me. I still have hope and faith that someday the right person I match up with will walk into my life.”

—oneclassicfemale

Continue reading “27 Eye-Opening Confessions About Relationships From People Who Have Been Single Their Entire Lives”

The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)

The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)

In light of the fact that “OnlyFans” is no longer allowing its members to post pornography on it site (which may have something to do with MasterCard credit card company refusing to accept payments on any site that may involve human/sex trafficking), some porn supporters, “sex workers,” or free speech advocates, are, unfortunately, inaccurately depicting any and all Christian sexual ethics as being “anti sex.”

Believing that sex is a sin outside the confines of marriage is a pretty typical Christian position going back decades to hundreds of years; believing that sexual behavior should have some kind of limits is not inherently “anti sex,” and as an adult celibate, I very much resent the portrayal of sexual abstinence outside of marriage as being “anti sex” or “sexual repression.”

As a celibate myself – and my preference would still be to wait until I marry to have sex, and I am now middle-aged – I am not opposed to sex.

However, I do believe that pornography and prostitution devalues the act of sex itself, and yes, both objectifies women, and women are already objectified in non-porn culture as it is.

Continue reading “The Pro-Porn and the Pro-Sex Workers are Inaccurately Depicting Standard Christian Views about Sex to be “Anti-Sex” (re: “OnlyFans” Headlines)”

Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains, by B. Showalter

Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains 

I’m not totally in agreement on Keller (Link) on everything, but he is correct that too many believers (Link): falsely conflate the concepts of being sexually abstinent outside of marriage with the faults in purity culture and unfortunately ditch the concept altogether.

Yet other Christians (Link): falsely believe and teach that the Bible does not support the practice of remaining a virgin until marriage.

The progressive Christians (and (Link): occasionally, doofus conservatives) try to ease the guilty consciences of fornicators (Link): by downplaying fornication.

(Link): Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains 

April 17, 2021

by Brandon Showalter

What’s often referred to as “purity culture” is not the same thing as remaining sexually abstinent outside of marriage, though many conflate the two, according to Tim Keller, founder and former pastor of Redeemer Church in New York City.

Keller explained in a Facebook post that in the early church, the Christian sexual ethic — that “sex was only for within a mutual, whole-self-giving, super-consensual life-long covenant” — was “revolutionary,” given the prevailing Greco-Roman ethic of the day.

Continue reading “Abstinence and ‘Purity Culture’ Are Often Conflated but Aren’t The Same, Tim Keller Explains, by B. Showalter”

Why Are We Cheapening Women, Marriage, and Sex? (via PragerU and Candace Owens)

Why Are We Cheapening Women, Marriage, and Sex? (via PragerU and Candace Owens)

Disclaimer: I don’t agree with all views expressed by the PraguerU site (including on their social media), and I’m not sure I agree with all of the content in the video (with Candace Owens) in the tweet embedded in this page below.  I do agree with much of the sentiments expressed, but perhaps not all.

(The tweet with the video should be embedded below; or click here to view it on Twitter’s site)

What you see in the Tweet is a clip taken from a longer video with Candace Owens on You Tube (Link): here.

Owens spends a lot of time in that video discussing why men today aren’t as manly today as they were 80 years ago, then the topic moves on to climate change
– but then, around the 29 minute mark, the conversation turns to the dangers of pornography, and how so many women dress too skanky on social media to get male attention, how the over sexualization of culture and the widespread availability of porn cheapens marriage, sex, and women.

(Link): on You Tube: The Candace Owens Show: Jacki Deason (relevant portion starts around 29, 30 minute mark)



Related:

(Link): We’re Casual About Sex and Serious About Consent. But Is It Working? by J. Zimmerman

(Link):  CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)
(Link):  I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)

(Link):  Why are young feminists so clueless about sex? by M. Wente

(Link):  Woman Says She Refuses to Hook-up with Men ‘For Fun’ – Says Most Men She’s Met Are Willing to Wait

Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)

Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships by A. Kumar (2020)

I am not surprised. This is actually similar to another survey I saw a few years ago, and I may have covered it here on this blog (I don’t remember).

It’s disappointing, frustrating and bewildering how so many Christians are not only living in sexual sin – and sex prior to marriage is in fact sin – but that they think it’s just fine. 

The Bible does speak against fornication, and even if it is not or was not mentioned specifically (as some like to argue), it was still the societal expectation – it didn’t need to be stated specifically in the Bible, since it was already understood in the culture the Bible came from, that God was not okay with people having sex outside of marriage.

There are not, that I can recall, any Bible verses specifically condemning infanticide, child molesting, or bank robbing, but that does not mean that the Bible is okay with any of those behaviors.

I think a case can be made against those behaviors – and against fornication – by pointing to other biblical principles.

In light of the fact that Christians (Link): don’t even make a pretense at living by sexual ethics as taught in the Bible, or in defending them these days, I really do not need to see another Christian woman on another blog or on social media saying how harmful “purity culture” teachings were to women (depending on the context of their arguments. Are some facets of Christian purity culture sexist against women? Yes – but that does not negate that fornication remains a sin).

The pendulum regarding sexual behavior and attitudes held by Christians has now swung too far in the other direction – to pure hedonism and “don’t judge me, I’ll have sex with whomever and whenever I want to.”

And folks like me who actually “walked the walk” and did not have sex outside of marriage are shamed for it, or insulted for it, by Christians and conservative groups (see more about that under “Related Posts” at the bottom of this page).

(Link): Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)

Excerpts:

by A. Kumar
September 2020

Half of Christians say sex between consenting adults who are in a committed dating relationship is sometimes or always acceptable, and over half — with the exception of evangelical Protestants — say casual sex is OK, according to a survey by the Pew Research Center.

Some 62% of Catholics, 56% of Protestants in the historically black tradition, 54% of mainline Protestants, and 36% of evangelical Protestants say casual sex between consenting adults is sometimes or always acceptable, according to the survey.

Among those who are religiously unaffiliated, as many as 84% say

Continue reading “Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)”

Female Komodo Dragon Conceives Without A Male Partner

Female Komodo Dragon Conceives Without A Male Partner

(Link): Female Komodo Dragon Conceives Without A Male Partner

By Melissa Malamut

Sorry, Kadal, you are not the father!

When the Chattanooga Zoo announced last September that Charlie, the zoo’s female Komodo dragon, birthed three hatchlings, zoo staff weren’t exactly sure how Charlie conceived.

Did she breed with Kadal, the zoo’s male dragon, with whom she was placed in the hopes that they’d mate? Or would she reproduce all on her own?

Turns out, Charlie doesn’t need a man, thank you very much.

Continue reading “Female Komodo Dragon Conceives Without A Male Partner”

TikTok’s ‘Nurse Holly’ Facing Ridicule for Encouraging Abstinence Until Marriage

TikTok’s ‘Nurse Holly’ Facing Ridicule for Encouraging Abstinence Until Marriage

As I said about this headline on Twitter yesterday:

In today’s “anti slut shaming” and “pro sex positive, virginity is a social construct” (no, it’s not) society, every sexual behavior choice is supported EXCEPT FOR abstinence, which is mocked by both liberals AND many conservatives

The nurses who criticized “Nurse Holly” for her abstinence, as a group, (Link): are hypocrites. Why do I say that? Because some of them mock women virgins for being virgins when they come in for health screenings.

I can just imagine me, a 40-something virgin, going in to see one of these “sex positive, no slut shaming” nurses as part of a medical visit and them possibly finding out during questioning I’m still a virgin, and I’m sure they’d either roll their eyes or act incredulous or mock me for it – I had an experience like that in my late twenties when I had to see a doctor.

(Link): TikTok’s ‘Nurse Holly’ Facing Ridicule for Encouraging Abstinence Until Marriage– via FaithWire

(Link): TikTok’s ‘Nurse Holly’ Facing Ridicule for Encouraging Abstinence Until Marriage – via CBN News

January 18, 2020
by T. Goins-Phillips

“Nurse Holly” has amassed quite the following on TikTok. She uses her incredibly popular account to talk — and joke — about her career in the medical field. But now she’s facing scorn because she encouraged her 1.7 million followers to wait until they’re married to have sex.

In the video, which has since been deleted, Holly promoted the message, “The best way to prevent STDs is waiting for sex until marriage. Just the truth.”

Holly’s argument is airtight — if you don’t have sex until you’re married to your partner, the likelihood of contracting an STI is greatly decreased. But that (Link): didn’t stop other nurses from dragging her on Twitter.

Continue reading “TikTok’s ‘Nurse Holly’ Facing Ridicule for Encouraging Abstinence Until Marriage”

Missouri 7th-Grader Says ‘Virginity Rocks’ Sweater Almost Got Him Suspended

Missouri 7th-Grader Says ‘Virginity Rocks’ Sweater Almost Got Him Suspended

These days, being a virgin or a celibate is really the only “taboo” sexual (non?) behavior left.

We have many (not all, but many) liberals screaming and yelling that every one should accept people with penises being permitted into locker rooms for biological women,
and we have both secular, liberal feminists and conservative Christians jumping on to the ‘Sex Positive’ train, where they defend pre-marital sex and write off adult virginity as being a “social construct,” and say you’re a “slut shamer” if you disagree.

So of course if someone speaks up in favor of virginity (or celibacy), it’s going to be looked at askew (when it’s not being mocked or insulted), as in this story.

I bet if this kid wore a shirt that said “Sex Positivity Rocks,” he would not have gotten into trouble.

This is the kind of world we live in now.

(Link): Missouri 7th-Grader Says ‘Virginity Rocks’ Sweater Almost Got Him Suspended

January 2020
by Jessica Chasmar

A seventh grade boy who wore a “Virginity Rocks” sweatshirt to school in Wentzville, Missouri, was forced to remove the shirt and threatened with suspension if he wore it again, his parents said Wednesday.

Continue reading “Missouri 7th-Grader Says ‘Virginity Rocks’ Sweater Almost Got Him Suspended”

So-Called Virginity Tests Are Unreliable, Invasive and Sexist. And Yet They Persist. by H. Ka

So-Called Virginity Tests Are Unreliable, Invasive and Sexist. And Yet They Persist. by H. Kaur

I don’t agree with all content in this editorial or ones like it.

I don’t share the view that virginity is a “social construct,” as is stated in this editorial.

American culture shames people who are NOT sexually active – there is no respect from culture, churches, liberals, conservatives, atheists, Christians or anyone else, for virginity.

(Link): So-Called Virginity Tests Are Unreliable, Invasive and Sexist. And Yet They Persist.

(CNN) The comments, as soon as they made the rounds, were met with swift condemnation: Rapper T.I. says he takes his daughter to the gynecologist after each birthday to determine if she’s a virgin.

Celebrities and the Twittersphere howled in disbelief. Human rights advocates and doctors tut tutted their disapproval. The hosts of the podcast Ladies Like Us, where T.I. made the remarks, distanced themselves. (CNN could not reach T.I. for comment.)

As doctors and scientists will tell you, there is no test or exam that can reliably and accurately determine whether a girl or a woman has had sex — and consequently assess whether she’s a “virgin.”

Continue reading “So-Called Virginity Tests Are Unreliable, Invasive and Sexist. And Yet They Persist. by H. Ka”

Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky

Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky

American society stopped “slut shaming” people for having sex outside of marriage many years ago, contrary to what the anti-sexual purity “Ex-vangelicals,” liberal Christians, Christian feminists, and other groups argue on blogs and twitter.

The trend has been the opposite in years past: adults who are celibate and single are often ridiculed or thought of as weird losers if they’re not in a romantic relationship and not having sex.

Our culture went from “Slut Shaming” years ago to “Celibate and Virgin Shaming.” (I have examples all over this blog, look for them).

Here’s an essay by a guy who didn’t lose his virginity until his late twenties. It’s another anecdotal piece of the pie demonstrating how our sex saturated culture shames people who are not having sex.

(Link): Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 

Excerpts

by Noah Berlatsky
April 2018

The man who murdered ten people in Toronto with a van, like the 2014 Isla Vista killer, considered himself an “incel,” or involuntary celibate.

Incels are men who blame the world, and especially women, for the fact that they are virgins, or aren’t having sex as often as they want.

They see women as manipulators who choose powerful but shallow men, and unfairly ignore and even torment good guys like themselves.

Resentment becomes an excuse for misogyny, and sometimes, for violence.

In the aftermath of the Toronto massacre, some people were quick to use the killer’s celibacy as an insult.

Continue reading “Don’t Let ‘Incel’ Misogynists Like the Toronto Killer Tell You They’re Special – I Was A Virgin Until I Was 27 By Noah Berlatsky”