Fewer than 50% of U.S. Adults Are Now Married. It’s Time to Give More Legal and Financial Breaks to Single People, Law Professor Says

Fewer than 50% of U.S. Adults Are Now Married. It’s Time to Give More Legal and Financial Breaks to Single People, Law Professor Says

(Link): Fewer than 50% of U.S. adults are now married. It’s time to give more legal and financial breaks to single people, law professor says.

Excerpts:

By Zoe Han

The share of married Americans has fallen to 45%, down from 50% in 2015.

…The share of married Americans has fallen to 45%, down from 50% in 2015. At the same time, the share of Americans who are not in a romantic relationship rose to 37% from 32% over the same period.

…However, people most likely to benefit from state and federal subsidies — joint bankruptcy filings, and tax and immigration laws — live in “traditional” households, typically consisting of a husband, wife and children, Mechele Dickerson, law professor at the University of Texas, Austin, wrote in (Link): her recent paper published in Emory Bankruptcy Developments Journal.

…U.S. legal and economic systems favor married people, particularly upper-income, college-educated couples who are white, because that’s the demographic more likely to belong to the “traditional” married household, Dickerson said.

What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up? By Kaitlyn Greenidge

What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up? By Kaitlyn Greenidge

(Link): What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up? By Kaitlyn Greenidge

Excerpts:

January 4, 2022

[The author discusses how she didn’t get married until around her late 30s, but then she got divorced, and she lives in a noisy home with many family members]

…What has not materialized is the intense loneliness that people warned me would come with divorce.

…It’s a different world from the one my parents inhabited when they divorced, one in which many people treated their separation as if it were an infectious disease and shunned us for a number of years.

…Marriage, of course, can be all those things to many people, but my own brought something different, which has led to this desire to be alone again.

Pop Singer Kylie Minogue, 50, is Surprised She’s Found Love Again

Pop Singer Kylie Minogue, 50, is Surprised She’s Found Love Again

Kylie Minogue is a pop and dance singer who’s had a lot of hit songs since the 1980s.

If you don’t know who she is, here are links to some of her hit songs on You Tube:

(Link):  Can’t Get You Out Of My Head

(Link): Come Into My World

I’ve done blog posts before with examples with celebrities who explain that in spite of all their money, good looks and fame, they remain single though they’d like to be married.

(Link): Pop Singer Kylie Minogue, 50, is Surprised She’s Found Love Again

She is in the throes of a passionate romance with her boyfriend Paul Solomons.

And Kylie Minogue confessed she was surprised to find love again during a cosy chat on the Jonathan Ross show after the end of her relationship with ex Joshua Sasse.

The I Should Be So Lucky hitmaker, 50, enthused her new love is ‘fabulous’ and ‘great’ as the six-month romance continues to flourish.

Why “Netflix And Chill” Replaced Dinner and A Movie – Dating in 2016 by M. Weigel

Why “Netflix And Chill” Replaced Dinner and A Movie – Dating in 2016

(Link):  Sexual Freelancing in the Gig Economy

Excerpts:

• By MOIRA WEIGEL
• MAY 14, 2016

• A FRIEND of mine complains about how many of the men she meets on Tinder use corporate language to chat her up. First, they “reach out.” Then, after spending the night together, they “follow up.”
• This kind of flirting is banal, but it makes sense. We constantly use economic metaphors to describe romantic and sexual relations. Few people today refer to women as “damaged goods” or wonder why a man would “buy the cow when he can get the milk for free,” but we have “friends with benefits” and “invest in relationships.”
• An ex may be “on” or “off the market.” Online dating makes “shopping around” explicit. Blog after blog strategizes about how to maximize your “return on investment” on OkCupid.
• We use this kind of language because the ways that people date — who contacts whom, where they meet and what happens next — have always been tied to the economy. Dating applies the logic of capitalism to courtship. On the dating market, everyone competes for him or herself.
• ….If you want to understand why “Netflix and chill” has replaced dinner and a movie, you need to look at how people work. Today, people are constantly told that we must be flexible and adaptable in order to succeed. Is it surprising that these values are reshaping how many of us approach sex and love?

No, I Do Not Like Richonne (Rick and Michonne as Romantic Couple on television series The Walking Dead) – Sex Can Be Risky in the Apocalypse – (2018 Update: Richonne is Apparently Finally Over)

No, I Do Not Like Richonne (Rick and Michonne as Romantic Couple on television series The Walking Dead) – Sex Can Be Risky in the Apocalypse

Richonne is Over (Finally! – I Hope) – see update below, under the “November 2018” section – and I keep hearing from pesky, awful “Richonne” fans on Twitter – edit on that below, too

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This may be, perhaps, the only, or one of the very few, anti- Richonne blog posts on the internet.

To any Richonne Fans Who Are Reading This

If you have not seen my “About” page (and I currently have this stated at the top of the blog itself), I seldom permit dissenting views to be published on my blog.

Therefore, if you are a rabid Richonne supporter who leaves me a nasty, rude comment in response to this post, I likely will not publish it.

I don’t even bother to read the entirety of such posts – the moment I glance a few cuss words or rudeness in the first sentence of a post that is pending, awaiting me to grant permission to publish it, I hit the “trash can” button and delete it. I don’t even read the entire thing once I have ascertained it’s a vitriolic post.

So please, don’t waste your time or mine by composing one.

There is an addendum below addressing people on Twitter who were commenting to me how having Michonne, a black woman, in a romance with a white guy on this TV show, was supposedly oh- so- important. I have addressed those types of comments much farther blow (towards the end of the post, before the “Related Posts” section).

See also: (Link, off site):  Your Status as a Single Person Is a Diversity Issue

I did an internet search or two in the days after the February 21, 2016 airing of the zombie apocalypse show The Walking Dead episode in which the Rick Grimes character has sex with the Michonne character for the first time.

In the vast majority of reaction I see in blog posts or comments on entertainment sites that discuss “Richonne,” most people appear approving or enthusiastic about this TV show pairing. I cannot fathom why this is so.

I remain perplexed at the drooling, nutty, overboard enthusiasm so many TV viewers have for wanting to see TV characters date each other.

Further, if you dare disagree on these other sites about “Richonne” and admit to disliking “Richonne,” no matter how politely you state your views, many of these “Richonne” supporters become unhinged and vitriolic.

I happen to like the Michonne character and the Rick character – Rick has always been one of my favorite characters on the show. I have nothing against either actor who plays these characters.

However, I do not like or enjoy a Michonne-Rick romantic pairing.

I did not enjoy the show attempting to romantically pair Rick up with Jessie, either.

(Jessie was later killed by being eaten by zombies).

I mention this early on, as a lot of these Richonne fans wrongly assume anyone who dislikes “Richonne” must be a “Jessie – Rick shipper.”

Why Are Christian Guys Silent About Abstinence? by C. Hill

Why Are Christian Guys Silent About Abstinence? by C. Hill

The link to the editorial by C. Hill is much farther down the page. I wanted to spend several paragraphs discussing the editorial itself before linking to it.

I sometimes wonder if authors on sites such as Christianity Today or Christian Post read my blog or comments I’ve left on other blogs (under other names or sometimes under the “Christian Pundit” moniker), because some of the points this guy makes are ones that I have made before, that I have not seen other writers make.

One such point: we live in a culture that increasingly demands that we respect everyone else’s sexual behavior and choices, everything from having pre-marital sex, to having homosexual sex, to engaging in adultery.

I’ve even seen increased acceptance of Asexuality.

However, if one is a heterosexual with a normal sex drive and interest in sex who never the less chooses to refrain from sex (i.e., to stay a virgin or be celibate), and especially if one is past one’s mid or late 20s age-wise, one is judged, mocked, or condemned by that same culture.

That is, the same people demanding that I, a hetero celibate / virgin, respect or applaud homosexuality or adultery, are the very same people who would make fun of a person or criticize them for being a virgin over the age of 18 or 25, or being celibate, if having been sexually active before. It’s a very hypocritical position and one that is common, but it’s  seldom a point I’ve seen called out by others.

Our Bodies Were Not Made for Sex by T. Swann

Our Bodies Were Not Made for Sex by T. Swann

Very interesting editorial.

(Link): Our Bodies Were Not Made for Sex by T. Swann

Excerpts:

• The Genesis account of creation reveals that God created only one species of human. He said, “Let us make human,” and not “Let us make humans.” What essentially makes one a human then, is being created in God’s image, in God’s “likeness” (Gen.1:26-27). What defines us then is the ruah (Hebrew word for spirit) of God in our bodies (Gen.2:7).
• God is a spirit. Therefore, when he said, “Let us make man in our own image,” he wasn’t speaking of bodies, but of essence.
• God created the human body out of dust, a decomposable substance, but what is really human—the soul—is indecomposable. This is the God-like property that dwells in humans. The body is really the “house” or “clothing” of the soul.
• So if we are the same underneath the “clothing” of our bodies, in our souls, why are so many arguments for gender hierarchy based on that outer covering?

Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

I first spotted a link to this via Bella DePaulo’s Twitter account.

(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

Excerpts:

… “Even today, there’s truth to the idea that women get validation by being in a relationship,” says Rachel Hills, author of The Sex Myth. “If you’re single, it’s seen as a problem to be fixed.”

After that, I began to notice it everywhere. My exclusion from couples-only dinners. A married-with-kids friend implying that a second glass of vino was a wild night for her but for me every night was a drinkfest. Invites to weddings arriving without “and Guest” next to my name. Because I’m single, I’m made to feel bad about it.

Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer

Jesus Christ Removed the Stigma, Shame From Being Single and Childless – by David Instone Brewer

These are just excerpts, so you’ll have to visit the link here to read the page in full:

(Link): Bible Scandals (Ineligible Bachelor) by David Instone-Brewer

Commenting on what it was like to be single in the time and culture of Jesus:

…. Girls were mostly married by the age of twelve, and if a man wasn’t married by the age of twenty the gossips started comparing notes and looking for a reason.

…. So why was Jesus still single at the age of thirty? It was clear to all who knew him. No-one would let his daughter marry someone of questionable parentage since, if there was any irregularity in their birth, it could cast doubt on the legitimacy of their children for ten generations. And Jesus’ birth, as everyone knew, was very irregular.

…. Jesus not only shared the stigma of being single – he also tried to do something to alleviate it for other single people. Jewish law excused eunuchs from the command to marry, because they couldn’t physically fulfil the duty to have children.

Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)

Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)

My memory is a bit rusty here, but in a previous, older editorial on Salon, either Marcotte ridiculed women who choose to remain virgins until marriage, or, when she was mocking the concept of virgin- until- marriage, it escaped her notice that some women, of their own volition, choose to abstain until marriage.

I blogged about this before here, on my blog:

• (Link):  Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity

Either way it went, Marcotte ended up ridiculing the choice of some women to stay virgins until marriage – and some women do in fact choose to remain virgins until marriage, like this lady, who was in the media about a month ago:

• (Link): Bride Presents Father With ‘Certificate of Purity’ on Wedding Day – My Thoughts On the Matter 

This recent editorial at Salon, by Marcotte, is my reason for writing this blog post today:

(Link):  Now we’re leering at suicide bombers: The grotesque objectification of Hasna Ait Boulahcen by Amanda Marcotte

Here are a few excerpts from that page, about a woman terrorist who was blown up in Paris, France (I have some more comments below these excerpts):

by Amanda Marcotte

November 20, 2105

…But Boulahcen [woman terrorist] was female, and so the forces of sexual objectification are kicking in, creating a grotesque display.

…Both articles obsessively comb over every detail of Boulahcen’s pre-conversion life: Her partying, her drinking, the amount of sex they suspect she had, her clothes and even her “heavy makeup”, which both articles take pains to point out. It’s the same kind of thing you see these right wing rags doing day in and out, simultaneously inviting their audiences to leer at and sit in judgment of young women for their clothes, their sexual choices…

You’re the only person who will notice if you’re dining alone. So enjoy it by Oliver Burkeman

(Link): You’re the only person who will notice if you’re dining alone. So enjoy it by Oliver Burkeman

• We chronically overestimate how much others notice our social faux pas, and underestimate how much fun we’ll have alone
• One of the signature pleasures of life in New York City is the freedom to drink alone at a bar or eat alone in a restaurant without needing to worry that anyone’s judging you harshly, because everyone does it.
• (I realize it’s harder for women than men to drink solo at bars unbothered – but my female friends agree that it’s easier here than elsewhere, at any rate.)
• Yet my tolerance for public solitude has limits: I’d never take a book to the pub on Saturday night, and wouldn’t eat alone in a Michelin-starred restaurant even if I could afford to. I’ve often gone to films alone, but (Link): “taking myself on a date” to a concert or play is inconceivable: that, for some reason, would make me feel like a loser.
• I’m not sure there’s much logic behind these subtle distinctions – but, thanks to (Link): a forthcoming study in the Journal of Consumer Research, at least I know I’m not alone in my hang-ups about going out alone.

• The research, conducted by Rebecca Ratner and Rebecca Hamilton of the universities of Maryland and Georgetown – which I found via (Link): Science of Us – shows that we’re vastly more comfortable being seen alone doing “utilitarian” things (activities with some clear purpose) than “hedonic” ones (done for sheer pleasure).

• Perhaps, for instance, you actively love shopping for shoes, but since there’s another reason to do it – to obtain a pair of shoes – you’re unlikely to fear being observed doing it without others. Whereas when it comes to hedonic pursuits, the researchers note, people “anticipate negative inferences from others about their social connectedness”: they worry that people will assume they could find no friends to accompany them.
• … Ratner and Hamilton’s research also shows that we’re bad at predicting how much we’ll enjoy pursuing hedonic activities alone.
• In a small experiment, they arranged for students to be interrupted as they walked across campus, alone or with friends, and invited to visit a special art exhibit in the nearby student union. (To encourage participation, everyone was given the chance of winning $250.)
• Those stopped alone showed less interest, and predicted they’d enjoy it less.
• But once they’d been, they were no less likely to report having enjoyed the experience. If you refrain from fun things because you’re worried they’ll be no fun without friends, the researchers conclude, there’s a good chance you’re justdenying yourself pleasure.
• …. The real reason that you shouldn’t refrain from eating or drinking or movie-going or gig-attending alone, then, apart from the fact that you’re more likely to enjoy it than you think, is this: nobody is paying attention.
• I could feed you all sorts of peppy, confidence-boosting nonsense about how, in heading out solo, you’re coming across to others as self-assured and psychologically secure, and how they envy you your composure.
• But the truth is that they’re too mesmerized by their own thoughts to think much about you either way. That guy two seats away is worrying about his hair. The woman at the corner table is wondering why she ever got married to the man at the corner table. Those three friends over there are each trying to look interested in the others’ anecdotes, while they wait to unleash their own.

50 Shades of Grey and Patriarchy: What Else Did We Expect? – From CBE

50 Shades of Grey and Patriarchy: What Else Did We Expect? From CBE

I came across this the other day via Twitter.

I started a very long post about Christian reactions to the Fifty Shades of Grey (50 SOG) movie – I don’t know if I will get around to finishing it and post it – but one point in my editorial I brought out (or wanted to in a Part 2) is I cannot comprehend why so many conservative Christians are upset by 50SOG.

The 50 Shades of Grey movie and book series echo and support what conservative, Christian gender complementarians teach about women, men, dating, marriage, and sex. The following essay (from CBE, linked to below) explains those parallels a bit more.

A lot of assumptions about sex, dating, women, and marriage that undergird 50 Shades of Grey are also taught as being “biblical” by gender complementarian Christians, so it’s beyond me why so many of them are critical of 50SOG.

Christian gender complementarians teach things such as, women are more easily deceived than men, all women need a “male covering,” a woman is nothing without a man (unmarried and childless women do not matter in complementarian teachings), a man should “call all the shots” in a relationship, the woman should always defer to the man, etc.

Some conservative Christians (including preachers) even teach Christian women that they “owe” their husbands sex, no matter what, and even including performing debased sex acts they may not want to perform if the husband wants those sex acts.

So please, explain to me how Christian teaching on sex, women, control, men, and dating is really that much different from what one finds in 50SOG? As far as I can tell, most Christian teaching about women, sex, dating, etc, is almost identical to aspects of 50SOG.

(Link): 50 Shades of Grey and Patriarchy: What Else Did We Expect? From CBE

• FEBRUARY 24, 2015 BY DALAINA MAY
• It is fascinating to read the numerous articles circulating about the just-released film, 50 Shades of Grey, which is based on a wildly popular book trilogy.I am not sure there has ever been an event in which feminists, the BDSM community, and conservative Christian organizations like Focus on the Family have united their voices in mutual disgust.

  The concerns of most are that:

  1. The film is “soft porn” and should not be marketed for mainstream consumption
  2. The story glamorizes what psychologists have asserted to be “consistent with the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention’s official definition of intimate partner violence — and… perpetuates dangerous abuse patterns.”[1]

  There are many articles written by Christians trying to pick apart why it is that so many women, both in and out of the church, are flocking to see this film, after buying 70 million copies of the book (sales divided equally among professing Christians and the American adult population [2][3]).

• Secular and religious experts are discussing the repercussions of rape culture, feminism, the innate need for love, and the search for the divine as explanations for the popularity of the books and movie.As I look across American culture in general, and American Christian culture in particular, I am left wondering, “What else did we expect?” 50 Shades of Grey is simply a mirror to the experiences of women. Regardless of what side of the church walls they grew up on, women both in secular society and in Christian subculture are consuming the books and film because the underlying ideology of the story is what so many are familiar with, only it has been exaggerated and sexualized in form.
• Both in and out of the church, women are regularly fed the message that we are not complete without a man by our side. From the time we start ingesting Disney films, we know that life revolves around finding our prince.
• Tabloids and self-help books are filled with titles about how to get a man and how to manipulate him into staying.
• The vast majority of secular material on sexuality written for women is about how to make a man want you and how to please him in bed.
• Throw in the statistics about how frequently women experience assault (1 out of 5 American women have been sexually assaulted), the discrepancy in income earning (78 cents to the dollar), and the lack of women in leadership (10-20% in most fields) and you end up with a pretty clear case of misbalanced power between men and women. [4][5][6]
• In conservative Christianity, the experience is hardly any better.Women living under complementarian Christianity are told regularly that God’s intention for humanity is that men should hold exclusive power in the home and in church. They are the decision makers and the ones responsible for the well-being of the women and children under them.
• A Christian woman in the complementarian world is left hoping for a man like Jesus because that is exactly what it takes to guarantee gender hierarchy NOT be abusive.
• Please do not understand me to be saying that all complementarians are abusive.
• … The Christian complementarian viewpoint is, at its essence, an attempt to redeem the fallen-ness of male authority/female submission.
• Complementarians would say, rightly, that 50 Shades of Grey is a satanic twisting of how God intends men and women to relate to one another. The difference is that they would continue to define God’s intended relationship between men and women in terms of authority and submission. As one complementarian writer explained, “Domination is, in essence, Satan’s counterfeit of healthy submission.” [7]
• The problem is that the basic ideology itself is exactly the same. In the very worst of scenarios, a culture of male-dominated authority leads to horrors like what is depicted in 50 Shades of Grey (and worse). The most perfect possibility that complementarianism can offer is a safe, life-giving relationship resting in the capable and loving authority of a man who is at all times just like Jesus.
• Except even the most godly man simply is not Jesus, and does not have the unwavering selfless love or the omniscience required to lead perfectly.
• ((read the rest here))

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Related Posts:

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

(Link): Gender Complementarian Christians Who Teach Gender Inequality Even in Afterlife – an UPDATE

(Link): Christian Gender Complementarian Group Teaching That There Will Be Marriage in Afterlife and That Women Must Submit To Males in Heaven (post at Spiritual Sounding Board)

(Link): Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link):  The Rise of the Lone She-Wolf by Charlotte Alter

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link): Sex is Always the Solution – supposedly, according to Christian writers and preachers. (Also: Christian married men feel entitled to sex, contra 1 Corinthians 7:5.)

(Link): Independent Fundamentalist Baptist College Kid Friendship Permission Form – Christians lowering marriage rates due to their own stupid teachings about sex, dating, marriage, etc

(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

(Link): Letter to Advice Columnist: Husband Upset That Wife Masturbates – Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Hot Regular Sex For Both or Either Partner, Contra Usual Christian Claims