Baptist Preacher Hires His Mistress To Set His Wife On Fire

Baptist Preacher Hires His Mistress To Set His Wife On Fire

This news story is another indicator of how the Christian “equally yoked” teaching is bunk: I’d rather marry an Atheist guy who would NOT burn me alive than marry (and be “equally yoked” to) a Christian preacher who would hire his MISTRESS to set me on fire.

(This article says this MARRIED Christian also stole money from his elderly mother. What a P.O.S.)

Also note how being married does NOT, contra what Christians teach, make a person more loving, responsible, godly, or mature.

And why is a 33 year old woman having an affair with a 71 year old man? GROSS.

(Yes, it’s (Link): totally gross). I guess she was just using him for his money – this article says he bought her a new car and paid her bills.

You quite obviously do not have to be godly or perfect to merit a spouse, as this jerk creep guy was married. (A lot of Christians teach that you have to earn a spouse by being a good person or by being godly or by being more “whatever.”)

That so many losers, deviants, and creeps get spouses, (even so many losers who profess belief in Christ), it goes to show that no, you do not have to achieve some level of perfection or godliness before God will send you a spouse.

Also note that both cheaters in this story are MARRIED. Christians often depict un -married women as being harlots who set out to bed married men (usually, though not always, this is done under the “Billy Graham Rule”), when in fact, it’s usually married people who have affairs with other married people.

How mind-blowing is married Christian sex (something that Christian assert) that this married Christian man was apparently seeking nooky with another woman (I presume he was boinking the other lady)?

(Link): Baptist pastor sentenced to 50 years for hiring mistress and her husband to set his wife on fire

Excerpts:

  • A Baptist pastor from Missouri has been sentenced to 50 years in prison last week for hiring his mistress and her husband to burn his house down with his wife inside of it, reports the Riverfront Times.

Continue reading “Baptist Preacher Hires His Mistress To Set His Wife On Fire”

Preacher Tullian Tchividjian Possibly Involved in Another Inappropriate Sexual Relationship (March 2016) / Why Do Christians Not Have a RBGR – Reverse Billy Graham Rule

Preacher Tullian Tchividjian Possibly Involved in Another Inappropriate Sexual Relationship (March 2016) / Why Do Christians Not Have a RBGR – Reverse Billy Graham Rule?

Here is a story of a male preacher who allegedly cheated on his wife, possibly more than once, if the new report is true (links farther below). It makes me wonder: do Christians not have a Reverse Billy Graham Rule?

Normally, Christians adhere to this sexist idea that single women are sexual sex pots, temptresses, who will try to bed a man, especially if he is married.

Yet, I never hear these same Christians issue a “Beware of Christian Married Men Who Will Try to Sleep with Women” rule or advisement to single – or married – women.

Think about it. Married Christian men, including men who work as preachers, have sex with women they are not married to (see more examples (Link): here). Some of these married pastors who commit adultery will cheat not only with single women, but with women who are married to other men.

Yet – I never really hear of Christian women who insist on taking a chaperone with them when meeting any and all men, whether in public or in private.

I don’t hear Christian women insisting that an office door must stay open when they meet with  any or all men, all due to the percentage of slime ball married male pastors who do in fact take advantage of women.

I don’t see, in other words, most Christian women treating all Christian men as potential rapists or as sexual temptresses, but Christian culture sure does treat women in this manner:

However, it’s not women taking advantage of married men in the majority of these news stories, it’s quite the opposite.

Yet, there is no Reverse Billy Graham Rule in place to protect women from men.

I am not arguing in favor of a Reverse Billy Graham Rule, you understand, merely pointing out the sexist double standard held by Christians on this issue.

Preacher Tullian Tchividjian Possibly Involved in Another Inappropriate Sexual Relationship

This post is an update to this older one on my blog:

According to reports at Warren Throckmorton’s blog, Tchividjian may have been involved in yet another inappropriate sexual relationship with another woman.

You can read more about it here:

(Link): Tullian Tchividjian Out at Willow Creek Presbyterian; Majority of Liberate Network Board Members Quit

Excerpt:

  • March 2016
  • Tchividjian’s dismissal (Link): appears to be related to new allegations of wrong doing involving another inappropriate relationship prior to the affair which led to his resignation at Coral Ridge.
  • Also, the woman with whom Tchividjian had an improper relationship has accused him of owing money to her husband and of fooling his counselor while still pursuing her.

Continue reading “Preacher Tullian Tchividjian Possibly Involved in Another Inappropriate Sexual Relationship (March 2016) / Why Do Christians Not Have a RBGR – Reverse Billy Graham Rule”

Married Church Volunteer Had ‘Secret Sex Den Attic Where He Molested Neighbor’s Two Sons’

Married Church Volunteer Had ‘Secret Sex Den Attic Where He Molested Neighbor’s Two Sons’

Conservative Christians – a lot of them – think that getting married and having children are necessary to become mature, godly, self-less, and responsible.

Here is another example on my blog (view more (Link): here and (Link): here) that show that being married or a parent is not necessarily a guarantee that a person will be more mature, loving, godly or responsible.

Goodness knows that the Bible never teaches that marriage or parenthood are rites of passage to earn true adulthood.

It would also appear that the pedophile in this story claimed to be a Christian, or thought of himself as a Christian – he was volunteering at a church.

Church is not necessarily a safe place to meet decent single men, if you are a single Christian woman who wants to marry. You might be better off taking chances dating Non-Christian men you meet through friends or on dating sites.

Here is an excerpt about this story from the Daily Mail site’s coverage:

  • The court heard allegations that Castillo had tied up one of the brothers during sexual acts, which included oral sex – the night before he was due to marry his now-wife Katheryn.

Not only was this pervert raping little boys, but he was assaulting them on the night before he was to marry.

After reading stories like this one, I sometimes do think maybe I haven’t missed out by not marrying.

I’m one of those people who had wanted to marry, but I see stories like this one and think, if there are one or two things worse than being single when you’d like to marry, it would be being married to a sexual pervert who preys on kids or (Link): animals, or to an abusive man.

Some Christians teach that in order to get a spouse from God, you must earn one by cleaning up your life, or by being more godly – or what have you. Stories like this are proof that you don’t have to be very godly or perfect to get a spouse.

This guy is a pond scum child rapist and yet was married. Obviously, being a pond scum abuser did not hinder God from sending this guy a spouse.

A lot of Christians say that the nuclear family is a necessary building block of culture, though the Bible does not teach this idea (otherwise the Bible would not state in 1 Cor 7 that God respects singleness), but regardless, notice that although this man was part of a nuclear family – he was married with a child on the way – this did not prevent him from being a sleaze bucket and raping little boys.

Christians also are fond of teaching that married sex is great, regular, and very satisfying. If that is so, you’d think these perverts – who are married – might be sexually satisfied with their wives alone, but no, they still fondle and assault little kids. (But then, pedophilia does involve an adult who is sexually attracted to children, not adults.)

I’ve just seen too many news stories of married Christian men who get caught raping people (even other adults) or being porn addicts to buy into the Christian myth that married sex is so wonderful, you won’t be tempted to go outside of the marriage to get sex.

This first link is from a left wing site, and left wingers tend to be anti-gun (not that I’m particularly into gun culture myself, but I am not opposed to gun ownership or legal, responsible gun use, either, like a lot of liberals are):

(Link): Gun-loving church youth mentor accused of creating horrifying sex attic to abuse young boys by B P Markus

  • A former church youth mentor is being accused of sexually abusing two young boys, according to the (Link): Charlotte Observer.
  • Julio Andres “Andy” Castillo, 34, of South Carolina, is being accused of multiple counts of sexually abusing the two boys while they were under the age of 16. Castillo has been jailed without bond since February 29. Castillo met the boys at church, Episcopal Church of Our Saviour and also York Place, a place where troubled children received counseling. York Place closed in November.
  • According to prosecutors, Castillo had a very close relationship with the boys’ family, which include keys to their home and free access to the children.
  • The abuse went to such an extent that Castillo built a secret room in his attic especially to molest the children. The room included a bed with rings for rope, so he could tie them up, according to the Observer. The room was accessible only with a ladder.

Continue reading “Married Church Volunteer Had ‘Secret Sex Den Attic Where He Molested Neighbor’s Two Sons’”

How My Wild Sex Drive Killed My Marriage – review by L. Crocker of book by R. Rinaldi

How My Wild Sex Drive Killed My Marriage – review by L. Crocker of book by R. Rinaldi

I’ve read an article about this woman’s book (“The Wild Oats Project”) before. I may have blogged on it a few months ago.

Her story makes me want to barf. She made a mockery out of her first marriage.

One problem or area of weakness I have seen with Christian teachings on sexual purity (in which I include virginity and celibacy) is that if or when Christians bother to defend or promote sexual purity anymore (they seldom do these days), is that they tend to emphasize it only for singles who are teen-agers to about their mid-20s in age.

Anyone past age 25 or 30 who is sexually abstaining is ignored by Christians in regards to sexual purity encouragement or teaching.

Married couples are usually ignored in Christian sexual purity teachings as well, although every other testimony I see on Christian blogs and television is about married couples who are porn addicts, or one partner is cheating on the other with other sexual partners.

Note in the story below that sexual behavior has consequences. It can sometimes end in negative ramifications for yourself and/or your partner.

At one point, this review says that Rinaldi goes on about how much she enjoys penises and finds them beautiful, and that she enjoys sticking them in her mouth. Warning here for any men reading: the vast majority of women do not like penises or find them beautiful.

Rather, most women think penises look horrible or ridiculous, and most do not want to perform oral sex on men.

Most women don’t enjoy looking at penises and do not enjoy (Link, off site: Should You Send A Lady A Dick Pic) getting “dick pics” on dating sites, or anywhere else.

Christians – if bothering to support virginity at all these days – will tell singles that if they wait until marriage to have sex, the wait will be worth it, because the sex will be (this is their favorite phrase in this area of discussion) “mind blowing,” and it is implied by these Christians that married sex will be regular and frequent.

What this book shows that I am blogging about here is that after several years, plenty of married couples find their sex lives to be hum-drum, routine, and boring, not “mind blowing.”

Some of these spouses are fine with routine, boring sex, but the other partner in the relationship may get bored and tired of it. That is why some of them seek out affairs or weird, kinky sex moves with each other.

One of the few positive things I can say about the revolting information and story in this review about this book is that it lays to rest some secular and Christian stereotypes about female sexuality.

Here is a long excerpt from the review:

(Link): How My Wild Sex Drive Killed My Marriage – Review by L. Crocker

  • Robin Rinaldi wanted to spice up her marriage by having sex with other people—which ended up bringing a lot of heartbreak, and destroying her relationship.
  • Forty pages into her new memoir, The Wild Oats Project, Robin Rinaldi has mined every modern female anxiety: fear of being alone; boredom in monogamy; a ticking biological clock; a husband who doesn’t want children; a marriage devoid of passion.

    Rinaldi loves her husband, Scott, and has been with him for 17 years. He never wanted children, and when Rinaldi begs him to reconsider, he responds by getting a vasectomy.

    With no hope of having a family and desperate to feel passion that had long ago flickered out in her relationship, Rinaldi—then 44—negotiates an open marriage that permits both to see other people for a year.

    They jokingly refer to it as the “Wild Oats project.” She lays out ground rules—“no serious involvements, no unsafe sex, no sleeping with mutual friends”—and proceeds to break them all within a few months.

    … She advertises for hookups on Craigslist and Nerve.com (Tinder didn’t exist yet) and sleeps with men half her age…

    … Rinaldi’s husband is, for the most part, a saint. He frequently entreats her to quit the project and work on their marriage. He is patient and loving when she refuses, and reneges on his threats to leave her when she collapses in tears at his feet.

    Continue reading “How My Wild Sex Drive Killed My Marriage – review by L. Crocker of book by R. Rinaldi”

Cops Searching for Married Church Preacher Who Raped Teen Girl and Impregnated Her

Cops Searching for Married Church Preacher Who Raped Teen Girl and Impregnated Her

This news story (among other ones like it I have on my blog) counters common evangelical claims about sex and marriage, including:

  1. Married persons are not necessarily more godly or mature than un-married ones.
  2. If married sex is so great and satisfying, why are married preachers boinking other women, including teen-aged girls? They should be “getting off” with their wife alone
  3. One does not have to obtain perfection or a certain level of godliness before God will allow that person to marry
  4. The “equally yoked” rule is pointless, as some Christian men are just as capable as being perverted, abusive, and deviant as Non-Christian men

(Link): Married pastor, 33, believed to be on the run after he ‘sexually assaulted teenage girl and got her pregnant’

(Link): Police: Chesco pastor accused of sexually assaulting teen

Excerpts:

  • by M. Bond
  • Jan 2016
  • Police are searching for a former Chester County pastor accused of sexually assaulting and impregnating a teenage girl who lived with him.Jacob “Jake” Malone, 33, of the 300 block of South Whitford Road in Exton, is wanted for rape, institutional sexual assault, and related offenses, police said Monday.
  • … Malone worked at Calvary Fellowship, a nondenominational church in Downingtown, for about 18 months, said Bill Bateman, one of five pastors at the church.
  • Malone and his wife treated the teenager like an adopted daughter, Bateman said.
  • …In November 2015, church leaders learned of the girl’s pregnancy and of Malone’s alleged inappropriate relationship in another state with a female whose age Bateman would not disclose.
  • The church leaders confronted Malone, he admitted he impregnated the teenager, and he resigned in mid-November, Bateman said.
  • …Police said Malone met the girl when she was about 12 and a member of a church in Mesa, Ariz., where Malone was serving as a pastor.
  • Police said several years later, in June 2014, Malone contacted the girl, who was 17. He invited her to stay with him and his family in Minnesota, where he had become a pastor.
  • The girl said Malone then began trying to have “inappropriate contact” with her, police said.

Updates.

(Link):  Pastor Charged With Raping Teenage Girl Is In Ecuador, Police Say

  • by Andy Campbell
  • A former pastor thought to be on the run after allegedly raping a teenage girl is trying to return from Ecuador to turn himself in, police said Tuesday.
  • Jacob Malone, 33, was charged last week with rape and institutional sexual assault for allegedly attacking a teen he’d met years earlier at an Arizona church, according to police from West Whiteland Township in Pennsylvania.
  • A spokesman with the police department told The Huffington Post on Tuesday that Malone hired a lawyer, and that he was in Ecuador awaiting a return flight to Pennsylvania. Malone plans to turn himself in this week, the spokesman said. Malone’s attorney, Charles Proctor, declined to comment on the case.
  • Police announced Malone’s whereabouts just a day after they said he was on the run in an unknown location.

Christian, Family Values Vlogger – Austin Null – Caught Sexting

Christian, Family Values Vlogger – Austin Null – Caught Sexting

I think I first saw this story on Twitter, and it was later picked up by SCCL (“Stuff Christian Culture Likes”) Facebook group (they are discussing the story (Link): here)

Because of stories like this one, I’m really skeptical about the “be equally yoked” teaching that married Christians insist marriage-minded singles adhere to.

I would assume that both the husband and wife in this Null marriage are Christians – what on earth is the point in a Christian woman marrying a Christian, if the Christian husband turns around and does things like have affairs on the wife, sends nude photos of himself to other people online, and so on?

On a side note here, I’m perplexed at how and why so many “family values” Christians keep blaming things like secular feminism on the downfall of culture.

I don’t see how secular feminism bears the blame for this married Christian man sending nude photos of himself to a mistress. It seems to me that is his responsibility alone, not secular feminism, or the sexual revolution of the 1960s.

I also think this is a blow to the teaching about marriage and dating one sees from some Christians which goes like this: you have to become perfect or really godly to earn a spouse from God.

If God is permitting imperfect ass-clowns like this Null guy to have a wife – a guy who cheats on her by sending nudie photos of himself to strangers on the internet – I seriously doubt God sits about saying, “I refuse to send a spouse to this adult single over here for cutting someone off in traffic two weeks ago.”

Christians often like to tell teen aged kids that if they just wait until marriage to have sex, that the sex will be frequent and great. If married Christian sex is so great, why was this married Christian man getting his rocks off sending nudie photos of himself to someone else?

(Link):   Austin Null of The Nive Nulls ADMITS to CHEATING for FIVE Months!

  • Austin and Britt Null uploaded an impromptu vlog entitled, “WE NEED TO TALK”, on their YouTube channel–The Nive Nulls. Austin and Brit discuss nude images and video that has surfaced of Austin Null being inappropriate with several intimate household objects. Austin says this issue has been a big part of the both of their lives for one year!

Continue reading “Christian, Family Values Vlogger – Austin Null – Caught Sexting”

Woman in 16 Year Marriage That Turned Sexless Wants To Know What To Do (Hax Letter)

Woman in 16 Year Marriage That Turned Sexless Wants To Know What To Do (Hax Letter)

A lot of Christians like to tell folks if they just hold off on sex until marriage, that the sex will be frequent and the best ever.

But then you see these letters or blog posts by married people who complain that the sex is terrible or is not happening at all. In some of these situations, the partner that wants sex will have an affair because the spouse with a low libido or sexual dysfunction is not putting out.

Christians need to stop promising singles that if they are chaste, they will have great and regular sex when they marry, and they need to continually remind married couples that celibacy is for married couples too – in a case where the husband lacks a sex drive, this does not give the wife the right to seek sex outside of marriage (or vice versa).

But too often, Christians just assume that the only persons who need to hear sermons and reminders about being sexually pure are singles. Wrong!

Note also that the woman writing this letter wants to have sex. She misses sex. Too often in secular and Christian culture, men are depicted as being randy horn dogs who always want to have sex, while married women are depicted as hating sex and not wanting it. The fact is a lot of women want sex and enjoy it. Sex isn’t for men only.

Here is the letter to Hax:

December 2015

Dear Carolyn (Hax):

  • I’ve been with my husband for 16 years, married 10. We were friends at first, and it grew into a mutual love. Generally we’re great.
  • The not-so-great part is that he stopped wanting sex, and it has been a source of contention for a few years now.

Continue reading “Woman in 16 Year Marriage That Turned Sexless Wants To Know What To Do (Hax Letter)”

Marriage is Not A Cure For Pedophilia, Making a Joke of Marriage: Christian Preacher Marries A Known Pedophile To Young Woman, Pedophile Then Apparently Molests His Own Biological Infant Son By That Woman

Marriage is Not A Cure For Pedophilia, Making a Joke of Marriage: Christian Preacher Marries A Known Pedophile To Young Woman, Pedophile Then Apparently Molests His Own Biological Infant Son By That Woman

How many ways can Christians, many of whom claim to support traditional marriage, manage to undermine and make a mockery of it? Here’s one more way.

(Maybe I should come up with some kind of Bingo card for this.)

Doug Wilson, who is a preacher of his own church (Christ Church), married a known pedophile, Steven Sitler, to a young lady named Katie Travis. (This is the (Link): same Doug Wilson who believes that celibacy is impossible for adults.)

A news story was published a few days ago which explains that Sitler and Sitler’s wife, Katie, had a baby boy together, and Sitler apparently (if I am understanding the article correctly) sexually abused his own biological infant son.

Here is one link about that:

(Link):  Idaho sex offender allowed to return home with child

Excerpt:

  • September 2015
  • By Samantha Malott
    Moscow-Pullman Daily News
  • MOSCOW, Idaho — A Latah County 2nd District Court judge ordered Tuesday that a convicted sex offender, Steven Sitler, must continue to have an approved chaperone present, within his direct line of sight, at all times he is around his infant child in the wake of new disclosures of “contact resulting in actual sexual stimulation.”

The Free Jinger forum has some background information on all this:

And (more background):

Said Annie B Good in that thread:

  • What gets me is that he [Douglas Wilson] married this desperate girl [Katie Travis], who felt she was an old maid at 23, he’s barred from contact with children, and yet he [Sitler] may be going to father children with a woman he’s not attracted to. Just a total mess. Christ Church should be ashamed of the behavior of their so called leaders.

Continue reading “Marriage is Not A Cure For Pedophilia, Making a Joke of Marriage: Christian Preacher Marries A Known Pedophile To Young Woman, Pedophile Then Apparently Molests His Own Biological Infant Son By That Woman”

Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass (Tim Challies Blog)

Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass

To be consistent, shouldn’t Challies’ wife’s blog post about adultery contain the line, “We’re all adulterers now, even if we’ve been faithful spouses”?, especially if she cares to match husband Tim’s previous “We’re all fornicators now, even if we’re virgins” post?


I saw this blog post via Defend the Sheep’s Twitter today, and I find it oh so interesting for reasons I shall explain farther below:

(Link):  My Wife’s Plea to Christian Men – From Challies blog

The above comes from Tim Challies’ blog, and was purportedly written by his wife, Aileen. I would assume that Mr. Challies is fine with his wife’s editorial and even agrees with it, since it is hosted on his blog.

Before I explain why I find this amusing and forehead smacking worthy, here are some excerpts from the blog – which pertains to all the recent news stories of well known (and even not that well known) Christian married men who have been caught having extra-marital affairs:

(Link):  My Wife’s Plea to Christian Men 

Excerpts:

  • Aug 31, 2015, by Aileen
  • …Why do so many men, and even so many Christian men, have such weakness when it comes to sexual sin? But even then I still had hope, hope in the truth of the gospel, hope in the power of the Holy Spirit.
  •  
  • In the years since, I have listened to more stories of more Christian men falling, wept with more women, and prayed a whole lot.
  •  
  • …I have counseled single young women to pursue purity. …I had hope.
  •  
  • ..Then came Ashley Madison and the suggestion that hundreds of pastors would have to resign after being caught with accounts on this website that glorifies adultery. And it’s not just pastors—hundreds of other Christian men, both single and married, have been caught up in the scandal. Now there are more broken homes
  •  
  • I have fought to understand the struggle men face. I have fought to have compassion. I have encouraged wives to extend forgiveness, to willingly and joyfully give themselves to their husbands.
  •  
  • But you know what? I just don’t know how I can keep doing it. Not when so many husbands are deceptively defiling the marriage bed. Not when so many young, single men are recklessly defiling the future marriage bed. Not when so many men seem just plain unwilling to change.

Aileen then spends the next few paragraphs scolding and shaming Christian men about their sexual sin. Seriously. She even interjects a few Bible verses here and there. She has several statements directed at Christian men starting with the phrase “You should” or “You are supposed to…”

She continues:

  • You know that the Holy Spirit equips you to succeed. God has given you everything you need in the gospel. So why do you keep failing? The only conclusion I can come to is that you are so consumed with self-gratification that you are not willing to fight, and I mean really willing to fight, this sin. If it’s not that you can’t, it must be that you won’t.

Contrast this shaming and scolding of Christian men, and her point that men can practice sexual self control, with a post by her husband Tim Challies, where he seems to think that sexual sin among unmarried men (and women) is inevitable, singles lack sexual self control, and he actually said in some post or another that “all fornicators are virgins now.”

Continue reading “Christians Want to Hold Adulterers Accountable but Give Adult Single Fornicators a Pass (Tim Challies Blog)”

Feds Shift to Abstinence, Monogamy as ‘Most Reliable’ STD Prevention

Feds shift to abstinence, monogamy as ‘most reliable’ STD prevention

————————–

(Link): Blogger Guy John Morgan Who Accused Me Of Being Untrustworthy Finds My Blog Trustworthy Enough to Use as Resource

—————

(Link): Feds shift to abstinence, monogamy as ‘most reliable’ STD prevention

  • BY PAUL BEDARD | JUNE 4, 2015 | 2:39 PM

(Link):   CDC releases updated STD treatment guidelines

Excerpts:

  • June 2015
  • Major updates — which revise 2010 guidelines — include alternative treatment options to help fight gonorrhea, which has become increasingly drug resistant.
  • Specifically, the combination treatment of oral gemifloxacin 320 mg plus oral azithromycin 2 g, or dual treatment with single doses of intramuscular gentamicin 240 mg plus oral azithromycin 2 g, has been shown to be effective against uncomplicated urogenital gonorrhea, Workowski said, with cure rates reaching 99.5% and 100%, respectively. The updated guidelines suggest these regimens can be used in place of cephalosporin.
  • “[Gonorrhea] is very savvy at developing resistance to antibiotics,” Workowski said. “It’s a really important addition to this version of the guidelines … especially in people who have allergies to the only known remaining antimicrobial, which is cephalosporin.”
  • The updated CDC guidelines also address expedited partner therapy (EPT) in the treatment of gonorrhea and chlamydia. Workowski said EPT is important with regard to gonorrhea and chlamydia because it enables people to get treated who either cannot access a physician or refuse to do so.

Related Off Site Post:

(Link):  Forget the facts – just blame abstinence education

  • The National Abstinence Education Association reports pro-teen-sex advocates have grossly distorted a report of an STD outbreak at a Texas school in order to discredit abstinence education.
  • NAEA director Valerie Huber says instead of the alleged 20 confirmed cases of Chlamydia at the tiny Crane High School in Crane, Texas, there were only eight cases for all of Crane county for the whole year. Nonetheless, Huber says pro-teen-sex advocates distorted the facts and blamed sexual abstinence classes.
  • “We actually learned that there is not even a sex-education abstinence class in the high school; the three-day program was in the middle school,” she clarifies. “And the outbreak really wasn’t an outbreak. So it’s not a story, but it continues to be made into a story to denigrate sexual risk avoidance abstinence education.”

  • Huber admits she isn’t surprised to think that this is pushback from sex-education advocates who are outraged that Congress provided increased funding for abstinence education.

    “They’re looking for any opportunity to attack our programs and to try to eliminate them at the local level,” she tells OneNewsNow.

    Huber says it’s unfortunate this story went nationwide because now there’s a national outcry to do away with SRA (sexual risk avoidance) education.

(Link):  Casual sex apps blamed for rise in STDs – report

—————-

Related Posts:

(Link):  Slut Shaming and Secular and Christian Culture – Dirty Water / Used Chewing Gum and the CDC’s Warnings – I guess the CDC is a bunch of slut shamers ?

(Link):  Inconsistency on Feminist Site – Choices Have Consequences

True Love Waits . . . and Waits . . . and Waits – editorial about delayed marriage and related issues – and a rebuttal to John Morgan’s comment on the page

True Love Waits . . . and Waits . . . and Waits – editorial about delayed marriage and related issues

I think this was published about a year ago. I just saw it today. It showed up on my Twitter feed.

The woman who wrote this says she is 27 years old (or was at the time this was written). I am over the age of 40 and am still a virgin due to many of the same reasons this author cites for her situation, though I never joined or took part in “True Love Waits.”

If she thinks lack of support from the Christian community is bad when she is 27, it only GETS WORSE the older you get.

Her generation is not the first to struggle with this lack of support – again, I am Gen X, and the church does not, and has not, supported virgins who are over the age of 30 now.

She writes,

  • We need help navigating singleness in our twenties and thirties.

Anyone and everyone over the age of 30 needs help with this.

I’m in my 40s and would have appreciated help at “navigating singleness” as a 40 something. You don’t suddenly stop needing support as a single once you hit 40 or older.

I have additional remarks BELOW this long editorial:

(Link): True Love Waits . . . and Waits . . . and Waits – editorial about delayed marriage and related issues by  Rachel Mueller

  • In an era of delayed marriage and open sexuality, how does advice to “wait until marriage” still make sense?
  • I have a confession to make: I am a twenty-seven (and a half) year-old virgin.No, I was not homeschooled. I was raised in a fairly normal household. I attended a public high school and a private liberal arts college. I like to drink red wine and tequila.
  • … I’m pretty much your typical Evangelical Millennial.
  • Except, according to a December 2009 study by The National Campaign to Prevent Teen and Unplanned Pregnancy, I’m in a minority of people: those who have kept their virginity, even among those who claim to be religious.

Continue reading “True Love Waits . . . and Waits . . . and Waits – editorial about delayed marriage and related issues – and a rebuttal to John Morgan’s comment on the page”

Married Virgin Asexual Woman Allows Her Husband To Have Sex with Other Women – Why Christians Need to Emphasize Sexual Self Control For Everyone, Not Just Teen Girls

The married virgin ‘repulsed’ by sex who encourages her ‘perfect’ husband to sleep with escorts while helping him to find a live-in lover

Asexuals are not the same thing as celibates. Asexuals either experience little sexual desire, or none. Celibates experience sexual urges but chose not to act upon them, or cannot, if they are single and believe sex prior to marriage is wrong.

I find it sad I need to explain this up front, but many Christians are very ignorant about celibacy and often confuse it with asexuality: they assume that celibates and virgins over 30 have no sexual desire or urges, or, many Christians assume that celibates find staying celibate easy breezy, that God has “gifted” older virgins so that the older virgin experiences no interest in or desire for sex – which is a wrong view. Totally wrong.

This also goes to show that married sex is not, as Christians teach, “mind blowing.” Christians try to offer incentives to people to stay virgins until marriage, one of which is, “Once you marry, the sex will be frequent and awesome.”

In this article, you have a virgin woman who is also asexual. She wants male companionship minus sexual activity, so she is allowing her husband to have sex with other women.

This is yet another reason why Christians need to emphasize that sexual self control and celibacy is for everyone, even married people, not just for teen-aged girls – but Christians, when they do bother to address the issues of virginity and sexual self control – often only frame it in terms of teen-aged girls. They do not usually remind married couples that they too need to practice sexual self-restraint.

I would also like to remind Christians that married couples do in fact engage in sexual sin. Often times, Christians think that marriage is a cure-all for sexual sin, that if only people marry and marry by the time they are 25 years old, that the couple will not fall into sexual sin.

Christians seem to assume that any and all un-married adults over the age of 25 or 30 are having hot panther sex with a different person every week, which is not so. Yes, our culture is sex saturated, and there is a lot of pre-marital boinking going on, but at the same time, there are people who are sexually abstaining.

The people who are over 25 and 30 and older -who are celibate or who are virgins- could use examples of themselves on television, in sermons, and in books, so they can see they are not alone, so they can have figures in the culture that represent their lifestyle who they can relate to.

Adult celibates and virgins could maybe use some encouragement at remaining chaste, but Christians give them none. All of the Christian community’s energy is directed at supporting “the nuclear family,” and defending “traditional marriage” from homosexual marriage advocates. There is next to no effort at giving practical or emotional support to adult celibates and adult virgins.

(Link) The married virgin ‘repulsed’ by sex who encourages her ‘perfect’ husband to sleep with escorts while helping him to find a live-in lover

As to the news story above. I do not agree with adultery (or “open marriages”) even if both partners agree to it or know about it in advance. I have posted several stories on this blog of married couples who “allow” their partner to cheat on them, or who are “swingers.” This whole thing is awful and makes a mockery out of marriage.

Excerpts from the article.

Asexual Woman Repulsed By Sex Allows Her Spouse to Sleep with Escorts

  • By GEORGINA BISVAL FOR DAILYMAIL.COM
  • Erica Holloway, 30, has known that she was asexual since the age of 15
  • She and husband Andrew, 30, have been married since 2012 but have never had sex
  • IT consultant Andrew has slept with ten other women, including a number of professional escorts, since he married Erica  
  • In the one and a half years they have been married Andrew and Erica Holloway have never argued, have no secrets and are more in love today than the moment they met.
  • Yet incredibly this Melbourne-based couple, both aged 30, have never consummated their marriage – and Erica admits that she has no intention of ever doing so.
  • For while Andrew would love to rip his wife’s clothes off, Erica is in fact still a virgin and reveals to the Daily Mail Online that the very idea of making love to her husband is a complete turn off rather than a turn on.
  • ‘I wish I wanted to have sex with my husband,’ Erica, a graphic designer, explains.

    ‘But I don’t and I know I never will as, while I love him, the idea of sex repulses me.

    ‘We are still very affectionate with each other and love to hold hands and kiss and cuddle, but that’s as far as I could ever go.

    ‘People might think our marriage would be a disaster because of this, but we are as happy now as the day we met.’

    She added that she has known since the age of 15 that she was asexual, after realizing she had never felt sexually attracted to anyone.

Continue reading “Married Virgin Asexual Woman Allows Her Husband To Have Sex with Other Women – Why Christians Need to Emphasize Sexual Self Control For Everyone, Not Just Teen Girls”

Ramifications of Pre Martial Sex – Sky Diver Husband; Also: Stereotypes About All Men Wanting Sex Constantly and Being Visually Stimulated Disproven Again

Ramifications of Pre Martial Sex – Sky Diver Husband; Also: Stereotypes About All Men Wanting Sex Constantly and Being Visually Stimulated Disproven Again

This is a continuation of a theme I posted about earlier:

(Link):  Sometimes Fornication Can Impact Another Relationship Later – One Example

I’ve found a similar story, which I’ve linked to below.

The woman who wrote this seems to really regret or have issues with the fact that her now spouse, Chris, was once in love with, had sex with, or felt passionately about an old girlfriend whom she refers to as “Pippa“.

The wife who wrote this found an old video tape of her husband kissing his ex girlfriend many times while on a hot air balloon ride, back when he was single and still dating around.

The wife now compares herself and life stage to the ex girlfriend’s physical appearance, life, etc.

Another thing I noticed about this woman’s story: as this woman stepped up her sexual game after having watched the video of Chris with Pippa, and by stepping up her game, I mean, by acting and dressing like a slut, her husband was not that interested, not in sex, and he told her he actually found her constant Sex Kitten shtick (including dressing like a porn star and offering him sex every single day) to be a TURN OFF.

Why do I point this out?

Because it’s a stereotype among Christians (and Non Christians) that men always want sex, sex, sex and MORE SEX. Men supposedly think about sex ALL THE TIME and CAN’T GET ENOUGH SEX, no sir.

Christian preachers are constantly assuming (judging by their sermons, blogs, pod casts, etc.) that married women are asexual, cold robots and would rather bake muffins, and pursue other stereotypical, non-sexual, girly pursuits and hobbies, than have an orgasm.

Hence, Christian preachers frequently remind married women in their “five ways to a better marriage” sermons that all men are supposedly visually stimulated and all men want sex all the time, so that wives should look like hookers and “put out” at least ten times a week.

But here we have another example of a husband who does NOT want sex ’round the clock and who does not get overly heated up and ‘turned on’ over seeing his wife do things such as cram her boobs upwards in a sexy, push-up bra and leave her blouse unbuttoned.

As she writes it, her husband seems somewhat disinterested in sex, to a degree, in spite of all her sexy clothing and come-ons.

(Link):  The tape that caused my marital meltdown

Excerpts:

by KATE BARRY OLIVIERO

Rationally, I knew that there was nothing wrong with this tape or its contents. Chris had plenty of girlfriends before me. He kissed them and had sex with them and shared experiences with them that I knew nothing about. I had my own tapes, just inside my head where Chris couldn’t find them.

I began to wonder if Chris looked at me now the way he once looked at Pippa. When was the last time we kissed? Like, really kissed with tongues and hands on each others necks, pulling each other closer and closer, unconcerned that our children might be watching or that one of us hadn’t brushed our teeth. Did Chris miss this flavor of passion? I hadn’t realized that I did until I held it in my hands.

…Pippa, in all her glory then, was the antithesis of me now: young, single and carefree. She spent her free time skydiving and, if I remember correctly, spent her working hours at VH-1 back when that was cool. No wonder Chris looked at Pippa in that way. When was the last time I did something that turned him on?  Last week when I snaked a clog in the washing machine? Or when I bring his cellphone to work because he’s left it on the kitchen counter?Chris never saw Pippa moan through labor. Chris hadn’t watched Pippa’s body approach menopause, her earning potential plummet and career prospects dwindle after years home with his children. In this captured moment Pippa held everything for Chris that I once — but no longer — did: hope, promise, mystery, potential.

…In the wake of finding the tape, I had become a woman on a mission, determined to make my husband lust after me with the hormones of a 25-year-old. Who cared that we have three children, a mortgage and need a new furnace?

…My pursuit intensified over the next few days and my behavior became increasingly more predatory. I was a desperate cougar, trying to lure a younger, single version of my husband into our marital bed. Short shorts, plunging necklines, lipstick. Explicit sexual offerings that were immediately shut down.

… Invitations to spend exciting weekends away from our children heli-skiing in British Columbia or scuba diving with whale sharks. Chris wouldn’t bite. The more I pursued, the less receptive Chris became, physically shying away from me and at one point locking himself in the bathroom to escape. I’d straddle Chris on the couch and he would grimace. The rejection stung. Every time Chris said “no,” I saw Pippa smile at me.

I was so hurt by his continued rebuffs, and so unfamiliar with such staunch rejection, that I eventually started to proposition Chris just to piss him off, fully aware that nothing would come of my advances.

By the end of the weekend I was depressed and Chris had had enough. We ate most of our Sunday night dinner in awkward silence. “It feels like we’re pretty disconnected,” he started, marking the first time in our eight-year marriage that Chris had addressed a concern head-on without my prodding first.

I was so pleased at his self-awareness and what this meant about our relationship that I momentarily forgot the issue at hand.“I can tell you why I’m upset,” he continued, pulling me back to reality. “You’re acting all crazy and sex-crazed and it’s making me uncomfortable.”I felt my face flush and tears fill my eyes. I was mortified. And speechless.

…“Well, it sure seems like it. I mean, what’s up with the boobs? Do you think I’m having an affair or something?”

“No, I … I don’t know what got into me. I just thought I would try something different. Be super-wife,” I muttered. Not realizing that every time I propositioned him and he said “no,” I had inadvertently criticized his manhood.

“Well, it’s [constantly dressing sexy is] not working and you need to stop. I’m not turned on. You’ve absolutely killed my sex drive [Chris the husband said to his wife].”

————————

Related:

(Link):  Sometimes Fornication Can Impact Another Relationship Later – One Example

(Link):  “My boyfriend was intimidated by my sexual history. So I dumped him.” by T. Hornung

(Link):  Boyfriend is insecure about girlfriend’s past (Ask Amy Letter)

(Link): Elderly Remarried Dude Hung Up Over New Wife’s Two Ex Husbands – Past Relationship Actions Can Have Ramifications

(Link): Fornication or Previous Marriages Can Negatively Impact Other Relationships Later – Another Example or Two (via Ask Amy, Hax)

 (Link):  Stop Pretending Sex Never Hurts, By D.C. McAllister

(Link):  When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – and how the stereotype flipped

(Link): Slut Shaming and Secular and Christian Culture – Dirty Water / Used Chewing Gum and the CDC’s Warnings – I guess the CDC is a bunch of slut shamers ?

(Link): Christian Gender and Sex Stereotypes Act as Obstacles to Christian Singles Who Want to Get Married (Not All Men Are Obsessed with Sex)

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

(Link): Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link):  (Article) Young People in Japan Have Stopped Having Sex – sekkusu shinai shokogun – Celibacy Syndrome

(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

(Link): Letter to Advice Columnist: Husband Upset That Wife Masturbates – Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Hot Regular Sex For Both or Either Partner, Contra Usual Christian Claims

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link): Sex is Always the Solution – supposedly, according to Christian writers and preachers. (Also: Christian married men feel entitled to sex, contra 1 Corinthians 7:5.)

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

(Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

(Link): Ryan Gosling and Shirtless, Buff Cowboy Photos on Social Media – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented (Part 2)

(Link): Why Unmarried – Single Christians Should Be Concerned about the Gender Role Controversy – because some Christians are teachng that unmarried people are not fully human or not “whole” – preachers who teach that single people are not fully in God’s image unless they get married

Ask Men site’s Woman Virgin Shaming Editorial, entitled, Five Reasons Not To Sleep With A Virgin

Ask Men site’s Virgin Shaming Editorial, entitled, Five Reasons Not To Sleep With A Virgin

I guess the writer of this piece (I am assuming this was written by a male), or most men today, would be fine with having sex with Bambi, Tiffani, or Brittney, all of whom have banged hundreds of men in one night stands ever since they were fifteen years of age, because they “have experience” and “won’t become too attached.”

Here’s the link to the bigoted, gross, virgin-shaming editorial – which is, wait for it: written by a woman, supposedly, I just notice her name, a “Sarah Stefanson” (it could be that is a pen name, and the person who wrote this is a man) :

(Link):  5 Reasons Not To Sleep With A Virgin (link is to page two of the article)

Excerpts:

  • by Sarah Stefanson
  • 1- There’s extra prep work
  • Unlike a more experienced woman, a virgin really doesn’t know what to expect. This means that you’re going to have to put in some effort before the deed is done and plan ahead to make sure that she’s comfortable and completely willing.
  • It may take some considerable convincing on your part to get her into bed, and while that isn’t one of our five reasons not to sleep with a virgin, your seduction skills will certainly be put to the test when it comes to taking a girl’s virginity.
  • Also, the older she is, the harder it will be.
  • If she has managed to protect her virginity all through high school and into her 20s, it will be that much more difficult to persuade her that she should give it up to you.
  • 4- She lacks skills
  • Since she’s inexperienced, she’s probably not going to be that good in bed, and that’s a big reason not to sleep with a virgin.
  • There are exceptions to this rule, of course, since there are plenty of skills a girl can learn before she loses her actual virginity.
  • If, however, she has little experience with sexual activity in general, the encounter is not going to be all that pleasurable for you.
  • If all you want is the power trip that comes from taking her virginity, then you’re golden, but if you want a mutually satisfying sexual experience, you should look for someone who has had time to develop some sexual skills.
  • 5- It could get messy
  • There is a possibility that having sex with a virgin could literally make a mess of your sheets. Being penetrated for the first time is likely to hurt her and it could result in some bleeding. If the sight of blood makes you squeamish, devirginizing a girl is not for you. A woman’s first sexual experience can leave a very unsexy mess to clean up.

Notice in much of this list, all the emphasis is on the man and what the man wants, and how having sex with a female virgin may inconvenince him in some manner. My god, the entitlement. The lack of concern for another human being. People today are incredibly self-absorbed.

Notice also, under point 2, which reads (see the portion in bold face):

  • 2- There’s a freak-out potential
  • When it comes to having sex with a virgin, the potential for her to freak out before, during or after the sex act is quite high. She may decide at the last minute that she doesn’t want to go through with it or she may feel massively guilty afterward for having done it. Because so much importance is put on her virginity, her first time is bound to be an emotional experience, which means that you might have to deal with panic, sadness, guilt, and other unpleasant reactions….

Secularists cannot make up their freaking minds on this.

I just reviewed a Hollywood film (link to that review) about female virginity several months ago, and the new narrative being put out by Non-Christians in movies is that a woman giving up her virginity is no longer considered special or important by women any longer – but this writer is saying, yes, it is.

According to one article I linked to months ago, most women do NOT bleed or feel pain when they lose their virginity – the article said some do, but some don’t.

——————————–

Related posts:

(Link): Virginity Lost, Experience Gained (article with information from study about virginity)

(Link): Living Myths About Virginity – article from The Atlantic

(Link): I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)

(Link):  On ‘Late’-In-Life Virginity Loss (from The Atlantic)

(Link):  Sometimes Fornication Can Impact Another Relationship Later – One Example

(Link): Why Some People Become 30 Year Old Virgins (Article / Study)

Sex Myths That Could Seriously Hurt Your Relationship – from Huffington Post

Sex Myths That Could Seriously Hurt Your Relationship

I am only copying two or three points they make, ones that are the same as I’ve been addressing on this blog for the last few years.

If you want to see the full list, please use this link:

(Link): 9 Sex Myths That Could Seriously Hurt Your Relationship

  • Written by Adriana Velez on CafeMom’s blog, The Stir
  • 3. Married people don’t play with themselves. Supposedly if you’re married you don’t have to masturbate because of all the sex you’re having, right?
  • Wrong! People who live with a sexual partner actually masturbate more than singles. But it’s not because their sex lives are dead. Folks who are married also have more sex and better sex.
  • “The myth that married people don’t play with themselves is just plain wrong!” says sexy lifestyle expert Dana B. Myers. “For busy moms, its so important to give yourself some ‘pleasure-play time’ for stress relief, to ground yourself, and to keep learning about what you like. It helps you tap into your unique power as a woman. While its often great, and fun, to involve another person, crafting out time for a weekly, or even daily, a solo session is one of the greatest ways we can instantly bring ourselves into a state of calm, centered authenticity and reclaim our own happiness.”
  • 8. Women don’t really want sex. People have been saying this for years — that men’s sex drives are stronger than women’s. Well, the most current research proves that’s just plain wrong. It’s just that women often want sex in different ways — and we’ve been (Link): culturally biased against seeing women as sexual beings. “When it comes to biology,” Carroll and Vreeman write, “there is plenty of research to suggest that women are also hardwired to have a strong sex drive in and of itself.”

————————————–
Related posts:

(Link): When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – and how the stereotype flipped

(Link):  Letter to Advice Columnist: Husband Upset That Wife Masturbates – Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Hot Regular Sex For Both or Either Partner, Contra Usual Christian Claims

(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

(Link): Do men really have higher sex drives than women? (article/study)

(Link):  Superman, Man Candy -and- Christian Women Are Visual And Enjoy Looking At Built, Hot, Sexy Men

(Link): Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex / (also discussed): Gender and Sex Stereotypes (article)

Man Divorces Wife Over Her Large Sexual Appetite

Man Divorces Wife Over Her Large Sexual Appetite

American Christians, like some portions of secular American society, like to believe that single women are over-sexed harlots who prey on married men, but that married women are cold, frigid beings who don’t want sex, but who prefer knitting or emotional intimacy to sex.

All of this is not true, but the stereotypes persist.

Christians also teach that if one abstains until marriage, that married sex will be great, super, and regular – also not true. There are many Christian – and Non Christian – marriages that are sexless.

Every so often, I will see a new story that reveals how untrue these stereotypes are, such as.

(Link): Man Divorces Wife Over Her ‘Excessive And Insatiable Desire’ For Sex

  • Apparently, one man was recently granted a divorce by a Mumbai family court because he could no longer deal with his wife’s “excessive and insatiable desire for sex.”
  • According to The Times Of India, the sex-fatigued husband first approached the court in January, claiming that his wife was “aggressive, stubborn and autocratic” and that she’d be harassing him for sex since they married in April 2012.
  • The man told the court his wife forced medication on him to boast his sexual stamina and threatened to hook up with other men if she remained unfulfilled. Things got so bad, the husband had to be hospitalized for an uneasy stomach at one point.

(Link):  ‘Aggressive, autocratic, insatiable’: Man divorces wife over her appetite for sex – by H Readhead

  •  Sep 2014 4:35 pm
  • Some couples may divorce because the spark has gone, but for one husband and wife, it was the opposite that was the problem.

    A Mumbai man has been granted a divorce after complaining that he could not deal with his wife’s ‘excessive and insatiable’ appetite for sex.

    The exhausted husband approached a Mumbai family court in January, claiming that his wife had been harassing him for sex ever since they’d married in 2012 and that she had been ‘aggressive and autocratic’ in her methods.

    And he didn’t stop there: the man told the court that his wife had even plied him with medication to boost his libido and threatened to shack up with other men if he failed to satisfy her vast appetites.


Related posts:

(Link): When Women Wanted Sex Much More Than Men – and how the stereotype flipped

(Link):  Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link): Christian Gender and Sex Stereotypes Act as Obstacles to Christian Singles Who Want to Get Married (Not All Men Are Obsessed with Sex)

(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

(Link): Do men really have higher sex drives than women? (article/study)

(Link): Some Christian Women Use Pornography – No Duh. I’ve been saying this all along.

(Link): The Secret Women’s Porn Problem (article about Christian women who use porn)

(Link): Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex / (also discussed): Gender and Sex Stereotypes (article)

(Link): Letter to Advice Columnist: Husband Upset That Wife Masturbates – Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Hot Regular Sex For Both or Either Partner, Contra Usual Christian Claims

(Link): New Study Released: Cheaters: More American Married Women Admit to Adultery (links)

(Link): Superman, Man Candy -and- Christian Women Are Visual And Enjoy Looking At Built, Hot, Sexy Men

(Link): Ryan Gosling and Shirtless, Buff Cowboy Photos on Social Media – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented (Part 2)

(Link): Boy Bands, Rock Singers, and Other High School Crushes – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

Patriarchy tends to sexualize all male / female relationships (article via Junia Project blog)

Patriarchy tends to sexualize all male/female relationships

This is certainly a topic I have discussed on this blog before.

(Link): Three Ways Patriarchy is Bad for Men

Excerpts

  • ….Patriarchy tends to sexualize all male/female relationships
  • Married men in complementarian Christian circles are often encouraged to avoid interactions with women other than their wives. Single men are sometimes discouraged from having friendships with women unless they want to pursue a dating relationship. Women are envisioned as “temptresses,” and anything beyond superficial contact is rigorously avoided.
  • Within appropriate boundaries, friendships between men and women (both married or single) can be spiritually enriching and encourage discipleship. Dan Brennan’s book Sacred Unions, Sacred Passions is a great guide to forming these kinds of relationships.

Related posts:

(Link):  Topics: Friendship is Possible / Sexualization By Culture Of All Relationships

(Link):  The Islamic Billy Graham Rule – Unmarried Muslim People Are Punished For Being Alone Together

(Link):   Discipling Healthy Male/Female Relationships in the Church Part 1 by Wendy Alsup

(Link):  Affairs Don’t Start with Texts – via guest authors at Tim’s blog

(Link):  Relationships Of Welcome, Not Fear (Re: How Sexist Christian Views Marginalize and Isolate Adult, Single Women and Maintain Other Stereotypes About Adult Singles)

(Link): Reclaiming Stolen Friendships – a blog post criticizing the Sexist, Anti – Singles Christian Billy Graham Rule

(Link):   How the Sexual Revolution Ruined Friendship – Also: If Christians Truly Believed in Celibacy and Virginity, they would stop adhering to certain sexual and gender stereotypes that work against both

(Link):  Non-Romantic Nearness, The Billy Graham Rule, and Pope John Paul’s Friendship With a Married Woman

(Link):  Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link):  Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality : All Unmarried Women Are Supposedly Hyper Sexed Harlots – But All Married Ones are Supposedly Frigid or Totally Uninterested in Sex

(Link):  Hey Ed Stetzer: Opposite Gender Friendships Are Not Sinful – Ed Stetzer’s Advice: “Avoid Any Hint” – More Like: Re Enforce UnBiblical Stereotypes About Men, Women, Sex, and Singles

(Link): The Sexualization of God and Jesus

(Link): Jesus Christ was not afraid to meet alone with known Prostitutes / Steven Furtick and Elevation Church Perpetuating Anti Singles Bias – ie, Single Women are Supposedly Sexual Temptresses, All Males Can’t Control Their Sex Drives – (but this view conflicts with evangelical propaganda that married sex is great and frequent)

(Link):  Pervy Preacher from Seattle who teaches men “to objectify women, by his over emphasis of sexualization of women and subservience” (Re Driscoll)

(Link):  Apparent Inconsistency at SCCL Group – They’re Repulsed by Sexualization of Some Relationships But Not All

(Link):  Researchers measure increasing sexualization of images in magazines

(Link):  Brotherly Love: Christians and Male-Female Friendships

Man with 100-pound scrotum undergoes life-changing surgery that would allow him to have relations with his wife after seven years of abstinence

Man with 100-pound scrotum undergoes life-changing surgery that would allow him to have relations with his wife after seven years of abstinence

Well here you go. Another reason why Christians need to stop with the “married sex is mindblowing” and “celibacy should only be taught for teens” rhetoric. Because look it, a dude who could not have sex (at least not intercourse) with his wife for seven years due to having a very big health issue, shall we say.

(Link): Man with 100-pound scrotum undergoes life-changing surgery that would allow him to have relations with his wife after seven years of abstinence

    By SNEJANA FARBEROV FOR MAIL ONLINE
    PUBLISHED: 21:42 EST, 28 August 2014 | UPDATED: 22:16 EST, 28 August 2014

    Dan Maurer, 39, from Michigan, suffers from rare condition called scrotal lymphedema
    He first noticed his scrotum was expanding in his 20s, but doctors kept telling Maurer he needed to lose weight

    Maurer learned the truth about his illness after watching TLC’s reality show The Man With The 132 Pound Scrotum about Wesley Warren Jr

    Urologist Joel Gelman who operated on Warren last year has agreed to perform surgery on Maurer

    A Michigan man who has witnessed his scrotum balloon to 100lbs over the past decade due to a rare condition may soon be able to have sex with his wife for the first time in years thanks to a life-changing surgery.

    Dan Maurer, from Battle Creek, suffers from scrotal lymphedema – an ailment that has caused one of his testicles to become abnormally large.

    The 39-year-old husband said his condition has affected his relationship with his wife of 20 years, Mindy.

    The couple reportedly have not been intimate in seven years due to Dan’s illness.

    Two months ago, the tale of Maurer’s struggle went viral after a series of stories appeared online documenting the man’s efforts to raise money for a costly and dangerous surgery to remove the growth on his scrotum.

    The publicity allowed the 39-year-old Michigan man to raise close to $30,000 towards the operation, which was performed Thursday in California.

    ‘With any surgery, there’s a chance of something going wrong. So, there is fear. Then, there’s the excitement of changing my life forever,’ Maurer told The Detroit Free Press on the eve of the procedure.

    Hours before the operation, Maurer took to his GoFundMe page to post an update about the upcoming operation.

    ‘My Surgery is in 2 hours. So this might be my last post. I love you all and I can not thank you enough for your support in all of this,’ he wrote.

——————
Related:

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

(Link): Elderly Widower Dude is a Slut Says Adult Daughter – Why Churches Need to Teach Celibacy Applies to Even Married People Not Just Under Age 25 Singles

(Link): Perverted Christian Married Couple Wants to “Wife Swap” (For Sex) With Other Christian Couple – Why Christians Need to Uphold Chastity / Celibacy For All People Even Married Couples Not Just Teens

(Link): Why Christians Need To Divorce The Topic of Sex From “Family” and “Marriage”

Ashley Madison, Site For Married Cheaters, Admits to Spying on Users and May Require a Deactivation Fee

Ashley Madison, Site For Married Cheaters, Admits to Spying on Users and May Require a Deactivation Fee


Some Christians, especially some Baptists and conservative evangelicals, fundamentalists, and Reformed, frequently teach that marriage makes people more sexually pure, in that they assume married people do not commit sexual sin.

By contrast, these same types of Christians assume that un-married adults are harlots with insatiable sexual appetites who sleep around with 100 people per week. When in fact, some singles (such as myself) are more chaste than some married people.

Also, Christians often teach that “married sex is mind blowing, so you should wait until marriage to have sex.” If that were the case, why do so many married people have affairs and turn to sites such as Ashley Madison which help them find affair partners?

(Link):  Ashley Madison Draws Complaints Over Profile Deletion Fee
(Link):  Do you really need to pay $20 to delete your Ashley Madison profile?  

  • Cheaters are pushed for money to delete profiles, but don’t have to pay..
  • ..Of course, Ars couldn’t resist the urge to look into a story involving sordid extramarital dealingsand alleged extortion. As it turns out, however, the issue is a bit more nuanced. Ashley Madison doeslet users delete their profiles for free, but directions on how to do so can be confusing to the point where they appear misleading.

(Link): Dating website spied on its cheating users

  • It wasn’t the spouses of cheaters that were doing the spying.  A dating website for people looking to secretly cheat spied on their users.
  • Eric Anderson, the “chief science officer” at Ashley Madison, a dating website for affairs, spied on more than 4,000 conversations from 100 women had with potential flings.
  • …The study claims that women look to cheat before they need more passion. The research suggests that women would rather cheat than divorce because they usually still love their husbands.

(Link):   Cheaters’ Dating Site Ashley Madison Spied on Its Users

  • A service for people seeking affairs secretly analyzed its members’ conversations

Continue reading “Ashley Madison, Site For Married Cheaters, Admits to Spying on Users and May Require a Deactivation Fee”

Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity

What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity

In her August 2014 post “The Christian right has been wrong on the question of virginity all along” (link to that editorial) Salon’s Amanda Marcotte (who I do agree with on occasion, at least partially on some issues some of the time, see this former post for a few examples), is wrong about “the religious right” supposedly “always having been wrong” about virginity. She doesn’t even properly or accurately understand their motivations.

As is usual, I am arguing this from how evangelicals, Baptist, and other mainstream conservative Christian groups usually teach about or view sexuality, sexual sin, and virginity. I am not addressing views held by groups such as “Quivering families” or Reconstructionists.

I see some of Marcotte’s views about virginity held by other groups, such as some ex Christians, or progressive Christians, which is why I have included them in this post’s heading.

One of the first things I noticed about Marcotte’s anti-virginity editorial – and that’s precisely what it is in the end scheme of things – notice how supporters of laissez-faire sexuality, or “no slut shaming,” are hostile towards virginity, celibacy, or adults who choose to remain virgins – is that her editorial focuses on women.

On this score, secularists and progressive Christians are just as bad. Neither side even considers that perhaps males should remain virgins until they marry. Only female sexuality, and specifically female virginity, is discussed. All they do is howl and protest that supposedly a woman is reduced to her virginity by others.

I do believe that some mainstream conservative Christian denominations or organizations do not discuss or promote male virginity nearly enough, and that they do mention female virginity quite a bit by comparison.

The solution, so far as I am concerned, and if one wants to remain faithful to biblical teachings on sexual mores, or to adhere to traditional morals, is to be equal in application: hold males up to the same standards, and just as often, vocally, and consistently; do not lower the standards for female sexuality because society, in years past, has given males a free pass on promiscuity.

Do not keep beating the drum on blogs, in sermons, or Christian youth rallies for the importance of female virginity only. Christian and conservative speakers and writers should be mentioning and promoting male virginity or celibacy just as often.

One of Marcotte’s main premises says that creating a sense of guilt in girls or women for having pre-marital sex (i.e., giving up one’s virginity) is a primary goal of the religious right. I disagree. I think she woefully misunderstands most Christians on this point.

Continue reading “Marcotte on Anyone Choosing To Be a Virgin Until Marriage: “It’s a Silly Idea” – What Progressive Christians, Conservative Christians, Non Christians, and Salon’s Amanda Marcotte Gets Wrong About Christian Views on Virginity”