Was Benny Hinn’s Brother Restored to Ministry Too Soon After Affair? (article)

Was Benny Hinn’s Brother Restored to Ministry Too Soon After Affair?

(Link): Was Benny Hinn’s Brother Restored to Ministry Too Soon After Affair?

I notice how a lot of conservative Christians pay lip service to how much they value sexual purity and virginity but really do not (see (Link): this post or (Link): this one or (Link): this one), but seem mighty flexible when it comes to sexual sins.

If you’re a married preacher and have an affair, those Christians who claim to uphold virginity until marriage cannot wait to get you back in the pulpit.

I have a question about this too.

If Christian sex propaganda were correct, and marital sex was truly “mind blowing,” as they often claim it is, why are these adulterous married preachers not sexually satisfied with their wives alone? Why do they seek out a mistress, porn sites, or paid prostitutes?

If married sex were so awesomely awesome, they would be having sex with their wife only and not screwing around on her.

Was Benny Hinn’s Brother Restored to Ministry Too Soon After Affair? Excerpts:

    Most leaders agree: pastors can return to pulpits after adultery. But they disagree on how long it should take.

    How soon is too soon for a pastor to return to the pulpit after ‘fessing up to an affair? Apparently no more than eight months, if you’re the brother of prominent televangelist Benny Hinn.

    The Orlando Sentinel reports that Sam Hinn, who admitted to a four-year extramarital affair in January, is already back in ministry. The younger Hinn completed a restoration process and was “re-ordained” Sunday at Orlando-area Church on the Living Edge, just eight months after he resigned from his position at Gathering Place Worship Center in Sanford, Florida.

    In addition, Sunday’s ceremony indicated that Hinn would be installed as a professor at Tabernacle Bible College Seminary in Tampa.
    But not everyone is happy about Sam Hinn’s restoration to the pulpit. Ron Johnson, a local pastor who counseled Sam Hinn, told the Sentinel that Hinn “walked out on a two-year restoration process after three months—leaving many of his problems unresolved.”

    Similarly, Johnson wrote in an op-ed for Charisma that he “outlined a two-year plan of restoration and walked through the initial stages with him. … Sam wanted to renegotiate the terms. When I wouldn’t agree to that, he withdrew from my covering and has since found a group of men willing to endorse his leadership in a more expeditious manner.”

    … Sam Hinn isn’t the only pastor to commit adultery (three other Orlando pastors (Link): did the same recently) and be restored to ministry as of late. Jim Bolin, founding pastor of Trinity Chapel Church of God in Powder Springs, Georgia, waited five years before returning to ministry—but unlike others, he was (Link): restored to his position at the church he founded.

    Meanwhile, megachuch pastor Dino Rizzo has also returned to the pulpit at The Church of the Highlands in Birmingham, Alabama, barely a year after resigning as senior pastor of Healing Place Church in Baton Rouge, Louisiana.

    According to Alabama.com, “Overseers of Healing Place Church devised a restoration plan, 31 items long, which required counseling for Rizzo and his wife, Delynn,” but Rizzo left the church and sought employment elsewhere.

    CT previously has reported that the vast majority of National Association of Evangelical (NAE) board members say pastors can be restored to church roles after marital infidelity. The highest-profile case study: Ted Haggard, former NAE president and New Life Church pastor

Yeah, where the rubber hits the road, American Christendom is not supportive of biblical sexual ethics.
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Related posts this blog

(Link): And Will He Be Giving Sermons on Sexual Purity? Re: Church Restores Pastor Removed for Adultery

(Link): Married Christian Preacher and Mistress Try to Kill Wife – Married Christians not more stable, mature, or godly than Singles

(Link): Married Christian Expert on Child Spirituality Pleads Guilty To Possessing Child Porn

(Link): Married Christians Who Were Arrested for Rape, Attempted Murder, or Other Crimes – more examples

Ignatius the Ultimate Youth Pastor & Teaching Christian Singles About Sex

Ignatius the Ultimate Youth Pastor

The hipster youth pastor to a group of teen aged kids:

“Sex is a beautiful gift of God, to take place in the confines of marriage… so for you guys sex is so wrong, but for me and my smokin’ hot wife, it’s so right” – watch the video:

Lousy 40 Year Marriage – Husband Cheats on Wife for Decades

Lousy 40 Year Marriage – Husband Cheats on Wife for Decades

Advice column question.

    Dear Amy: I have been married for 40 years. A couple of years ago I found out my husband was cheating on me. I have learned that he has been unfaithful to me during almost all of our marriage.

    He claims to love this other woman but says he loves me too, and he keeps going back and forth between us, swearing he will never see her again and that he doesn’t love her anymore (lies).

    Our two grown daughters will not associate with their father anymore. I have lost friends and faced scorn from family because I keep trying to save the marriage for the sake of the family.

    Continue reading “Lousy 40 Year Marriage – Husband Cheats on Wife for Decades”

Anti Virginity Moore Opines on Dirty Web Sites * Irony Alert *

Anti Virginity Moore Opines on Dirty Web Sites

Editorial hosted on two sites:

(Link 1): AROUSING OURSELVES TO DEATH Porn Is Ravaging Our Churches by Russell D Moore

A copy is here:
(Link 2): What’s At Stake With Internet Pornography, by Russell D Moore

The timing of this Moore editorial appearing today is pretty funny, considering I just did this post about two or three days ago:

(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner

I’m trying to reconcile how a guy (Moore) who makes light of virginity and sexual purity can write an editorial making a big to-do out of people who have web porn addictions. (He depicts the typical porn addict as male, when, as I’ve cited in previous posts, it’s on the rise among women.)

Before I provide you with excerpts from Moore’s anti web porn editorial (you will have to use the links above if you wish to read the entire editorial), I wanted to quote from this page about a Christian demonologist.

You may ask yourself, “What does demonology have to do with internet pornography?”

Not a lot, I guess, but that’s not my point.

A Christian can sit there and be, let’s say, 90% biblical on their view points, and insist they are totally biblical in their views on Topic X, but when you look at their views on 10% of other stuff, their 10% nullifies the 90%, or their screwy 10% cancels out their claim to be biblical on Topic X.

Here’s an example:

    Some of what Larson [the demonologist] has to say about demonology is biblically based and has likely been of help to those searching for sound teaching on the subject. For this he is to be commended.

    For example, Larson teaches that demons are fallen angels,18 possessed of all the attributes of personal beings, including will, emotion, and intellect.19

    As fallen angels, Larson correctly notes, “demons are noncorporeal spirits,”20 that is, they are immaterial creatures with no extension in space,21 possessing no mass.22

    To his credit, Larson explodes the myth that Satan is the infinite, omnipotent, and omnipresent counterpart of God. In no uncertain terms, Larson affirms that Satan is finite,23 unable to forcibly coerce individuals to sin against their will,24 and limited to operating in one place at one time.25

    While these teachings are certainly biblical, Larson nullifies them when he recounts his personal experiences with alleged demons. This penchant for inconsistency is evident throughout Larson’s teaching, and it is common for him to espouse both sound and sensationalistic statements on the same topic.

    For instance, while Larson rightly asserts that demons are noncorporeal beings, he also teaches they manifest themselves physically.26

    According to Larson, most of these occurrences border on nuisance, such as when demons have crank-called those to whom Bob was ministering deliverance;27 yet Larson believes some crafty demons have gone so far as to duplicate his own physical appearance, masquerading as Larson himself in order to obstruct genuine exorcisms.28

    Source: (Link): An Examination of the Teachings of Bob Larson

Here is my point. As Bob Larson is to spiritual warfare/ demonology, Russell D. Moore is to virginity/sexual purity and sexual sin.

It’s fine to say on the one hand that fornication is condemned in the Bible, but to also chastise a Christian virgin for being upset her sweetie pie may not also be one, shows a level of disdain or disrespect for the biblical standard of sexual purity.

You cannot be all that terribly committed to sexual purity if you scold a virginal woman for being upset her honey pie may not also be a virgin when they marry.

You can say you support virginity until the cows come home, but I’m not going to be completely convinced when you then turn around the next moment and tell a virgin who is disappointed her boyfriend is not one that she is idolizing virginity, or is “being prideful,” or should just let it go (if he “repented”), because “we’re all sinners.”

Here are selected quotes from the Moore anti porn editorial – it is also troubling that he reads too much into the “married couples and married sex is an analogy to the church’s relationship to God” view:

    AROUSING OURSELVES TO DEATH
    Porn Is Ravaging Our Churches
    by Russell D Moore

    …Beyond that is an even greater mystery still. The Apostle Paul tells us that human sexuality is not arbitrary, nor is it merely natural.

    It is, he reveals, itself an icon of God’s ultimate purpose in the gospel.

    The one-flesh union is a sign of the union between Christ and his Church (Eph. 5:22–33). If human sexuality is patterned after the very Alpha and Omega of the cosmos, no wonder it is so difficult to restrain. No wonder it seems so wild.

    …We agree with those-often even secular feminists with whom we disagree on much-who say that a pornographic culture hurts women and children through the objectification of women, the trafficking of children, and the commodification of sex.

    ..Sham Repentance

    This means that our churches cannot simply rely on accountability groups and blocking software to combat this scourge. We must see this as darkly spiritual and, first and foremost, reclaim a Christian vision of human sexuality.

    ..But it [sex] is also intended to bring about new life. An incarnational picture of sexuality, rooted in the mystery of the gospel, is the furthest thing possible from the utilitarian ugliness of pornography.

    …Moreover, we must call for repentance in our own churches, and this will be more difficult than it sounds. Pornography brings with it a kind of sham repentance.

    … Typically, for those who identify as Christians, a pornographic episode is followed by a resolve “never to do it again.” Often these (again, typically) men promise to seek out some sort of accountability and leave it behind.

    But often this resolve is less about a convicted conscience than about a sated appetite.

    …Without genuine repentance, the cycle of temptation will grind on.

    Genuine Repentance

    Our churches must show what genuine repentance looks like.

    For some especially vulnerable members of our churches, this will mean giving up the use of home computers or of Internet technology altogether.

    … We must also empower women in our congregations to grapple as Christians with husbands enslaved to pornography. We believe, and have taught emphatically, that wives should submit to their husbands (Eph. 5:23). But, in Scripture and in Christian teaching, all submission (except to the Lord directly) has limits.

    The husband’s body, the Bible says, belongs to his wife (1 Cor. 7:4). She need not subject herself to being the physical outlet for her husband’s pornographically supplied fantasies.

I agreed with a few points he made, but not all.

I would like to remind anyone reading this: this editorial is yet another example that Christian married people are sexual sinners.

Churches usually regard singles as sexual sinners, but married people look at pornography and engage in other types of sexual sin.

Single Adults – Why They Stay and Why They Stray From Church – Book Excerpts

Single Adults Why They Stay and Why They Stray (from church) Book Excerpts

Note: several questionable people have roles in this book, in the form of editing, or as contributors, such as…

    – a gender complementarian, Wayne Grudem; gender complementarianism (Link):

is not biblical

    ;
    -neither is “biblical counseling,” yet Edward T. Welch, who is a “biblical counselor” also had some kind of role in this book,
    – C. J. Mahaney – accused of being involved in a ten year cover up of child sexual abuse at his churches,

so I offer this link with a caveat.

The author of the particular chapter I am quoting seems okay, and I don’t see too much that I disagree with in his chapter.

What is really funny is that this book (I’m not sure when it was published, I am just now finding it today), echoes many of the things I’ve said on this blog before.

Edit: this book was published in 2003, but this is the first I am seeing it, or reading excerpts from it. It is incredible how the author noticed most of the same disturbing anti-singles views and trends that I have in this blog the last three years.

As I am a NEVER MARRIED woman, I am not going to present the full section under “divorce” in the chapter. You can visit the link to read it if you want.

The following is available for free on Google Books (this particular book is entitled “Pastoral Leadership for Manhood and Womanhood”) :
(Link): Single Adults in Your Ministry: Why They Stay and Why They Stray
by Dick Purnell

    … Do you know how many single adults sit in your congregation each Sunday? Recently I was speaking in a church to three thousand people. I asked for all the people who were unmarried and twenty-two years old or older to stand up. Over a thousand people stood up! The audience was surprised and gasped at the large number…

Do you realize that the number of single adults in America exceeds the total national population of all but eleven of the world’s 192 nations? How shocked would you be to discover that the number of single parents is greater than the entire population of Colorado and Tennesse combined?

According to the 2000 U.S. census 40 percent of all adults eighteen and older (forty-eight million) are single. We are seeing a tremendous shift in American social values.

The median age of a first-time marriage is now twenty-five among women and twenty-seven among men. The fastest growing family type is single parents.

If your church is in an urban area, the percentage of single adults near you is much higher than a rural area. Singles gravitate to the cities for jobs, things to do, and others to meet. They are searching for connection and community.

They are often afraid of loneliness, commitment, and isolation. Most of those under thirty have never been married. The average age of a married person’s first divorce is thirty-four. That means after years of marriage, they are thrown back into the dating scene. They feel awkward and unprepared. They face the same relationship challenges that teens face, but they feel out of place.

One woman said to me, “I am now single, but I feel married. I don’t want to be single, but that was forced on me.” They have been out of the dating world for so long that they have very little idea what to do. And no one is helping them or even having a discussion about some of these issues.

Most singles are invisible to churches.

… They represent every economic stratum you can imagine – everything from presidents of major corporations to the unemployed and all in between. Fifty-three percent of all unchurched adults are single.

But our churches are built on a mind-set of marriage, and singles are often neglected. They are the “Great Invisible Mission Field.” However, businesses are very aware of singles. If you look at the advertising on television or in magazines, you will find that a huge number of ads are geared to attract single people.

Sports clothing, beer, cell phones, and a myriad of other products are marketed to singles. They have the largest amount of discretionary income. But the church in general has a difficult time attracting them and capturing their attention and commitment.

Many single adults believe that the church excludes and ignores them. They feel like the church is either neglecting them or is just not interested in them. So single adults vote with their feet. They come to church for a few months or years; but when their needs are not addressed or they never hear a sermon addressed to their unique issues, they fade away and go somewhere else – or stop going to church altogether. They hear sermons preached on topics such as “How to be a Godly Husband” or “Becoming a Godly Wife.” But they have never heard a sermon on “How to be a Godly Single Adult.”

… [Singles] don’t stay because there is no emotional glue to keep them there. They are not the “squeaky wheel” that is going to ask the pastor to give a sermon directed toward them or to pound on the door of the budget meeting pressuring for more funding. They just fade away.

Are you desperate to attract single adults to your ministry and get them involved? Here is my top ten list on “Why Single Adults Are Turned Off by the Church.”

Number 10: Frivolous jokes degrade the single lifestyle.
Grandparents, pastors, and married friends all have jokes about singles. All the married people laugh, but the single buries the snub under a weak smile.

I was single for forty-two years. When I served as an assistant pastor in my middle thirties, I heard lots of good-natured jokes, but often the ribbing was not funny to me. “Hey, are you afraid to take the responsibility for a mate?” Here I was in charge of several significant ministries in the church, and they tell me I’m afraid to take responsibility?

“Maybe you are just too picky. Are you looking for a perfect wife?” In other words, if you lower your standards you may get somebody.

“You’re not getting any younger, you know.” That was supposed to pressure me to get moving? Sometimes I would get the big one: “What are you waiting for?” Like I better hurry up before I miss the “right one.” But isn’t there a sovereign God? His timing may not be my timing – or the timing of the people who ask me to hurry up.

In trying to encourage me, people would give what I call romantic testimonies: “I finally gave everything to God, and six months later I found the right one.” But I was forty years old and had been a full-time minister for over fifteen years.

Was there something I had not given up to God that some married twenty-year-old ha already given up to God? All the marriage formulas that people give singles may be individual experience they had, but those formulas are not normative for all believers. Why should I seek the holy grail of marriage if God wants me to be content in every situation?

After four years as a pastor, I resigned from my church. Even though I was no longer was the pastor, I continued to attend the church. A single female friend of mine from Kansas came to our city one weekend to visit some of her college buddies. I brought her to the 11 A.M. church service. As we were walking down the aisle, an elderly usher led us to a front row for seating. The organ was softly playing and everybody was kind of quiet. When we stopped to turn into the row, he handed my friend a bulletin and said to me loudly so most of the people could hear, “Hey Dick, when are you going to marry her?” I wanted to die right there, but first I wanted to punch his lights out.

These kinds of jokes will not attract singles to your church! No way! They degrade single life as if the only bright future is for married people. That idea is not found in the Bible. Even the apostle Paul stated that an unmarried person can have undivided devotion to the Lord (1 Cor. 7:32-35). He did not consider singleness a joking matter.

Number 9: Church leadership is mainly interested in the interests and needs of married people.
The pastor and leaders are usually all married with very little significant empathy or understanding of the unique needs and concerns of single adults.

Single Christians are rarely eligible to be members of the governing board. There are very few single senior pastors. The silent criterion of marriage eliminates singles from serving in many aspects of the typical church. If you carry that to a logical conclusion, the Apostle Paul would not be qualified to be a pastor or elder. Even Timothy would be shut out of the opportunity for leadership.

After four years as an assistant pastor, I wanted to become a senior pastor. I had a total of fifteen years experience in the ministry and two Master’s degrees. However, when I sent in my resumes, not one church ever asked me to candidate, because I had to write on the front page of the resume my marital status: “Single.” Who wants a senior pastor who is single?

It was a bitter experience. I was unqualified to be a senior pastor of a church because I did not have the “Mrs.” degree. Many men graduating from seminary have tremendous pressure put on them. If they want to rise above the level of youth pastor, they must be married. Why is marriage the unspoken golden key that unlocks the door to pastor advancement?

Number 8: Budgeted funds for single ministry are usually inadequate or nonexistent.
Many churches don’t budge anything for singles. When the churches that have budgeted some funds for singles ministry must cut the budget somewhere, the singles ministry often is the one that gets the ax. “Singles are adults – they can handle it,” the budget committee says. But the message that gets across is, “You are not as important as other people in our church.”

… The message the singles hear is loud and cleaer: “You are the lowest on the totem pole. Your needs come last. You are not worth our paying a minister who can meet your needs.” Therefore, singles respond with their feet. They say, “I’m out of here.”

Number 7: Singles feel the church neglects them.
They feel like barnacles on the side of the church ship – there but forgotten. Marriage is espoused as the norm, and singles just don’t fit the model.

I have conducted over three hundred single adult conferences throughout America, Canada, and twelve other countries. Yet only nine senior pastors stopped by to observe and/or greet the crowd.

The even was in their church, in their building, and these are adults. I remember each of the nine because they are so rare….

Number 6: There is a perception that single adults are morally loose.

If a person is not married by mid-twenties, there is something wrong, it is generally thought. A particular church was in the process of trying to hire a youth pastor. Since they could not find one for over a year, they held a congregational meeting to explain the progress they were making. The elder in charge presented all kinds of reasons for the delay in locating the right person for the position. At the end of his explanation, I stopped up and asked, “Does the person you are looking for have to be married?”

You could have heard a pin drop on the carpet. People gasped. It was the unthinkable question. The elder hemmed, and he hawed, and he slithered all over the platform. All I wanted was a yes or no. He was very obviously unnerved by my question. Finally some lady in the very back said, “What we need is a role model for the young girls. So I think he should be married.”

“You mean to tell me, in this entire congregation there is not one woman who’s a role model for the girls?” Silence.

“I tell you what I think the real reason is. You are afraid that a single pastor would be sexually frustrated and have sex with one of the teenage girls. Out of all the pastors I have known personally, four have had affairs and left the ministry in disgrace. Each of them was married. Almost all the other pastors I have read about in magazines and books who have committed adultery were married. True, married people do not have a corner on the market in becoming immoral. But you should not be prejudiced against a single adult simply because he is single.”

I tried to tell them that some of the best youth pastors in America are single. I wasn’t a very popular guy after that. The elders eventually hired a youth pastor. Yes, he was married.

Some churches won’t allow singles to teach Sunday school for fear these men and women will succumb to sexual temptation. That is unfounded fear. We all need the power of God to overcome temptation. Don’t single out single people as the most likely to succumb. That is unfair and inaccurate. Single adults want to be respected and trusted. Let them show by their faithfulness that they have a genuine relationship with God.

Number 5: Marriage is portrayed as normal for everybody.
If someone is not married by thirty something, there must be something wrong with him or her.
(please click on the “continue reading/ read more” link to see rest of the post. Thank you)

Continue reading “Single Adults – Why They Stay and Why They Stray From Church – Book Excerpts”

Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner

Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner

(Note: the specific mentions of Moore and Kushiner and how both are attacking the Bible’s teachings on virginity / sexual purity come farther down in this opinion piece, after my introduction)

Jan 1 2015 update (Nov 2017 update way below):

I just noticed today that Moore has blocked me from his Twitter account, which I never followed to start with (the notice on his page says I cannot follow his Twitter feed, which I never did. I don’t know when he blocked me, but it was sometime over 2014).

I only tweeted at him a handful of times over 2014, with links to this blog page you are reading. And he blocked me over THAT?

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Edit: See the update after you read this post: (Link): Anti Virginity Moore Opines on Dirty Web Sites * Irony Alert *

And related:

(Link): Anti Virginity Editorial by Christian Blogger Tim Challies – Do Hurt / Shame Feelings or Sexual Abuse Mean Christians Should Cease Supporting Virginity or Teaching About Sexual Purity

(Link): Southern Baptists (who don’t TRULY support sexual purity) Announce 2014 Sex Summit

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I am still amazed by emergents, liberal Christians, and even a strain of conservative Christians, who feel as though Christendom has made an “idol of virginity,” when I see so many self-professing Christians these days mocking or questioning the very concepts of virginity, celibacy, and sexual purity, concepts which are taught in the Bible.

Oh sure, I hear the occasional sermon on marriage where the preacher tosses out the obligatory “sex is for marriage only” sentiment (just today, TV preacher Jack Graham delivered such commentary in his broadcast sermon on marriage).

However, in practice and in reality, many Christians do not believe in virginity, celibacy, or sexual purity, and many of them do not practice it.

See: (Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity By extension, most Christians do not support Christian singles, who are told in the Bible to practice celibacy. Most Christians today, their churches and organizations, are too busy worshipping marriage and the traditional, nuclear family and lamenting the decay of “traditional marriage.”

Singles get overlooked in all the marriage and family worship, or all the hand-wringing over the fall of the nuclear family. Churches and the Christian community as a whole do not support Christians who are never- married, past the age of 30, and who are still virgins.

I became a Christian before reaching the age of ten (lately, though, I have considered leaving the faith, over the sex and singles issue, among other reasons). From a young age, I took Christianity and its teachings on sexual purity to heart.

I made a choice at very young age that I would wait until marriage to have sex. When you are below age 25, the church will applaud you for being a virgin.

Once you get to to your late 20s or into your 30s, the support you see in this area disappears. It dries up. (You will actually be attacked by Christians for being single and a virgin into your 30s and beyond.)

Other than Christianity, I did have one or two other reasons why I was determined to remain chaste (which I will not get into here).

My decision to remain chaste in adolescence coincides with the repeated sermonizing I heard in the 1980s and part of the 1990s of preachers ranting and raving against the sexual immorality of the day, and how a Christian should remain sexually pure. I also read the Bible as a teen, and I could not help but notice all the passages saying sex was for marriage only. I also heard or read works by authors such as Christian apologist Josh McDowell about how sex was for marriage only.

Works such as these, and sermons I heard, were one reason of several, I did not have sex.

Much of Christian dating, sex, and marriage articles and books I read as a teenager, and many of the sermons I heard on those topics, either stated out right, or implied very strongly, that if a Christian female remains sexually pure, seeks after God, stays skinny and pretty, prays to God, and has faith in God for a spouse, that God will send that young woman a “Christian Mr. Right” by the time she reaches mid or late 20s. I did all of those things and still find myself single in my early 40s.

I have seen other never-married Christian ladies in their 30s, 40s, and 50s give the same witness on other blogs: they too were sold a false bill of goods.

They were told by preachers, Christian relationship books and so forth, that if they trusted God for a spouse and did not have sex, that God would grant them, or reward them, with a spouse, and that the spouse would likely also be another Christian virgin.

However, in the last few years, I’ve seen Christians on TV shows, radio shows, and on blogs, declaring that all of us are sexual sinners (i.e. fornicators, who have literally had sexual intercourse).

Or, there is this understanding among some Christians that all people have had sex outside of marriage (or else are porn addicts), so, their philosophy is to present an “Easy Forgivism Sex Gospel” to soothe any guilt or shame feelings sexual sinners may have.

I find these constant appeals of “let sexual sinners off the hook and be all forgive-y to them, because all of us have sexual sin” confusing and discouraging, because I am in my early 40s and have not had sexual intercourse. It is simply not true that “all of us are fornicators.”

These easy forgivism attitudes towards sexual sin amounts to telling Christians they should not judge people’s sexual pasts, or hold their sexual pasts against them, nor should they adhere to biblical sexual standards, or expect others to live by them. Christians are further given the message – by other Christians – that they should not make an idol of virginity, and if you yourself have fornicated (had sex outside of marriage), to forgive yourself and move on.

The thinking is that nobody but nobody can hold out and resist sexual urges into their twenties and beyond, that we’re all guilty of fornicating, or habitually visiting X-rated sites.

Even though all of us are not guilty of these things – it is wrongly assumed all of us are, though.

The liberals and emergents think that Christians should cease with the virginity teachings and sexual purity teachings because some women, who chose to have sex as teens or as college students, feel guilty, ashamed, or dirty when they hear in sermons or Christian programs that sex outside of marriage is a sin.

Then your sexual abuse victims, who were fondled at age six by their Uncle Harry, say these sexual purity teachings hurt their feelings.

According to this “sensitive, delicate flower doctrinal” view point, Christians are to allow their emotions to dictate and influence which doctrines and morals Christians should accept, teach, and practice, and specifically, shame and guilt emotions should regulate how, when, or if biblical standards of sexual behavior are discussed, taught, or maintained.

Christian author and journalist Julia Duin is among one of the few who I’ve seen speak out or about the devaluing of sexual purity teachings and the mistreatment of Christian virgins.

Here is one post where Duin discussed the issue, and where she was rightfully critical of Russell D. Moore’s easy dismissal of virginity:

(Link): Where are America’s virgins? Discouraging the virtuous, by Julia Duin Here is an excerpt, the part where she mentions Moore:

    This past spring in Touchstone, a conservative Christian publication, Russell Moore, a Southern Baptist minister who is dean of Southern Seminary’s School of Theology in Louisville, penned “Like, A Virgin?” His essay criticized a chaste female who wanted her husband to be a virgin like she is. He hinted she was being unrealistic and judgmental for judging a potential mate on his sexual history rather than his Christian commitment. This hapless woman resisted the spirit of the age and yet, her Christian leader denigrated her values. So much for seeking out a pastor’s advice.

–end excerpt–

If I’m not mistaken, Duin was responding to this column by Moore (or one similar to it):

(Link): How Much Do I Need to Know About My Potential Spouse’s Sexual Past? My Response – By Russell Moore

That Duin piece above, was, in turn criticized by this James Kushiner guy:

(Link): Doesn’t Like “Like, a Virgin?” by James M. Kushiner

Here are excerpts from the page by Kushiner, who is critical of Duin for criticizing Moore’s views:

He [Moore] is clear throughout the article about the Christian teaching about sexual activity, that fornication is “damnable”, and the sad necessity that couples even have to have “the conversation,”….

–end excerpt–

The problem, my dear Mr. Kushiner, is that Christians speak out of both sides of their mouth on the celibacy and virginity and all related issues (eg, marriage/ singleness/ gender roles, etc etc). It’s all fine and good if Moore mentions in passing that ((Link): source)

    What’s important for you to know is how he [the letter writer’s fiance] views sexual immorality. A man who will brush off past fornication as “no big deal” from which he’s “moved on” is a man with a conscience trained to do the same thing with future adultery.

–end excerpt–

But then Moore’s next commentary betrays a true support of sexual purity when he condescendingly lectures this young woman that,

    On the other hand, your dismissing him automatically on the basis of immorality is also dangerous. If he is repentant, seeing his past sin as hell-deserving but crucified, then you should receive him (all else being equal), just as you have been received.
    You are not “owed” a virgin because you are.
    Your sexual purity wasn’t part of a quid pro quo in which God would guarantee you a sexually unbroken man.
    Your sexual purity is your obligation as a creature of God. And you have rebelled at other points, and been forgiven. If you believe the gospel, you believe the gospel for everyone, and not just for yourself.

–end excerpt–

It’s very easy for those who have fornicated themselves, or who are currently married (they were a virgin when they wed, but are currently getting their sexual needs met in marriage), and I am guessing Moore and Kushiner fall into either one of those groups, to be so blithe and dismissive of sexual sin, and/or to lecture a single virgin who wants marriage that it is selfish or unforgiving to be concerned about a potential partner’s sexual past or to desire a virgin to marry.

Really, Mr. Moore, if a person’s sexual past is basically “no biggie,” as you make it out to be (despite your “fornication is not good” spiel in the same column), and a person should just drop the matter and let it go as though it’s nothing, if the person has repented of it, what then, is the point in me personally staying a virgin?

The message I receive from these views is that I might as well be having sex right now with various men, or just one steady boyfriend, since according to Moore, if I do get a marriage proposal from a Christian man in the future, he should just overlook my fornication with some other guy. Continue reading “Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner”

Gotta Maintain that Propaganda that Married Christian Sex is “Mind Blowing”

Gotta Maintain that Propaganda that Married Christian Sex is “Mind Blowing”

Much of Christian sexual purity and dating literature, blogging, and other forms of communication, tells the young ‘uns if they stay virgins until marriage that married sex will be “mind blowing.” (And don’t forget the other, similar piece of propaganda: (Link): Magical Christian Thinking: If you have pre-marital sex you won’t get a decent spouse)

Never mind I have numerous examples on this blog of Christian and Non Christians who waited until sex to have marriage but the sex was terrible, or didn’t happen, because one spouse decided he or she did not like sex.

Here’s an article at ‘The Christian Post’ where some religious guy is maintaining the propaganda of “wait for marriage and the sex will be frequent, and porn movie quality stuff, not that, um, not that you Christians should be looking at porn movies, but you know what I mean”. I have more comments below this article on this page:

(Link): Christian Sexual Culture Beats Past and Present ‘Pagan Sexuality’, Catholic Researcher Says

    By Tyler O’Neil

    WASHINGTON – The monogamous, family-friendly culture shared by Christians, Jews, and Muslims proves both more sexually satisfying and more socially philanthropic than the promiscuous culture of hook-ups, homosexuality, and porn, a Roman Catholic researcher argued on Wednesday.

    “Those who worship God weekly have the best sex,” asserted Patrick F. Fagan, Senior Fellow and Director of the Marriage and Religion Research Institute (MARRI) at the Family Research Council, which hosted the event. Fagan’s assertion that intact, married couples enjoy sex the most was based on data from the National Health and Social Life Survey.

    …But not only do faithful, religious husbands and wives have the best love life, he said, they are also “the core strength of the country.”

    …However, a culture antithetical to marriage and family has emerged. “Our times are a bit analogous to Pagan Rome, where Christianity first grew up,” Fagan observed.

    … He also said that one in six men and 17 percent of women struggle with porn, and that leads to dissatisfaction in marriage. He used census data to show that women who have had sex before or outside of marriage were more likely to divorce, while 80 percent of women who do not engage in premarital or extramarital sex remain in intact marriages.

    Citing, among others, social scientist Jill Manning’s book The Impact of Internet Pornography on Marriage and the Family: A Review of the Research, he argued that “pornography generates alienation between men and women.” It causes distrust among husbands and wives, and misshapes children’s ability to understand sex as God intended.

    This problem becomes acute in college, where young men “experiment with evil to find out what’s good.” Although the sexual culture predominates most campuses, Fagan suggested picking friends committed to chastity, a healthy social life, and exercise as alternatives. The “convivial time together where self-control and sobriety is key to the enjoyment of the other,” is the best way to combat porn.

    Fagan concluded by encouraging Christians, Jews, and Muslims to unite and champion their sexual culture. Only in this restrained, chaste, devoted way can a man say to his wife, “I give my heart whole, and not in pieces,” Fagan said.

Not only is this guy trying to uphold the Christian sexual purity cliche’ of “stay a virgin until marriage, and I promise the sex will be mind blowing,” but I’ve seen reverse examples (and have blogged of them before) of currently Christian married women (and a few men) who admitted to being total bimbos before marriage, and they later got married to a Christian person and their marriages are doing okay.

Then you have the Christian couples I’ve seen interviewed on Christian shows who were committed Christians upon marriage, but over the years, drifted apart, or after a few years, the husband got into affairs and pornography.

Regarding this comment,

    Fagan concluded by encouraging Christians, Jews, and Muslims to unite and champion their sexual culture.

That made me laugh. Oh Fagan, you are so naive.

Talk to Christians who have literally stayed virgins into their 30s, 40s, and older and ask them how much their sexual purity is “celebrated” or “championed” by their faith communities.

Answer: they’re not celebrated. Older celibates are either ignored or if paid any attention by their faith community, are ridiculed or insulted or treated like freaks.

Christians bitch and moan about the high divorce rate, porn addictions running amok, etc. and so on, but they do nada, nothing to support people who are actually living a celibate life and who are trying to resist fornication.

If these religious idiots truly supported celibacy and purity, they would treat singles as full equals in churches and Christian culture, but they not only treat them like second class citizens, but they also refuse to allow them to participate in church leadership positions.

Singleness is treated by Christians and churches as though it is only a temporary, and second-rate, stepping stone to the end-all be-all of life, marriage.
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Related posts this blog:

(Link): Marriage Doesn’t Necessarily Guarantee Great Sex or Any At All

(Link): New Christian Sex Propaganda: Supposedly Traditional Gender Roles Equals More, Better Sex

(Link): Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex – Husband is Sexless for Eight Years (article)

(Link): Article: ‘Getting to the Root of Female Masturbation’ / Also: Virgin woman gets next to no sex in marriage

(Link): Jason the Christian’s Sexless Marriage – Christians promise hot regular steamy married sex but it isn’t true

(Link): Rebound Guy and No Sex