Are Christian Singles The New Second Class Christian? by Duke Taber
I may have posted this to the blog before, I don’t remember.
Singles have been the “second class” citizen in American Christianity for many decades now, there’s nothing “new” about it.
(Link): Are Christian Singles The New Second Class Christian?
… being single is not some type of disease, stigma, or disqualifying condition [but many Christians behave as though it is].
Single People Are Complete People
There is a misnomer in our society. It is the thought that we have to find someone else to be our other half or that we have to be married to be complete.
This is totally against what the Bible teaches concerning the nature of man.
God created man in His image. He created them male and female.
It does not teach that He created two half beings that when they come together they are complete, but instead it teaches that both male and female are complete creations formed in His image.
The nature of marriage is not final completion but a miraculous union of two complete people becoming one. So to view a single person as somehow not able to pastor or be a leader is one that is truly non-biblical.
You also cannot find any passage in scripture that would support such a position and in fact you find passages in scripture that support the opposite.
1 Corinthians 7:32 But I want you to be without care. He who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord – how he may please the Lord. 33 But he who is married cares about the things of the world – how he may please his wife.
34 There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world – how she may please her husband.
35 And this I say for your own profit, not that I may put a leash on you, but for what is proper, and that you may serve the Lord without distraction.
1 Timothy 4:12 Let no one despise your youth, but be an example to the believers in word, in conduct, in love, in spirit, in faith, in purity. 13 Till I come, give attention to reading, to exhortation, to doctrine.
14 Do not neglect the gift that is in you, which was given to you by prophecy with the laying on of the hands of the eldership. 15 Meditate on these things; give yourself entirely to them, that your progress may be evident to all.
Single People Are Not Second Class Citizens In God’s Kingdom
I do not know how many times I have visited a new church as a single person and received a cold shoulder. The leadership looked at me as if I was there to prowl for wife material. The couples looked at me as if I had nothing to offer them since I was single and they only related to married people.
There were very few singles around to hang with. With that type of reception I can see why! I was only there to worship my God. To have the word of God expounded to me. I had no ulterior motives but was treated as if I did.
Single people are not second class citizens in the kingdom of God. However with the emphasis that the church places on marriage and family, to the exclusion of the benefits of being a complete single person, most single people are treated as second class citizens and this mentality taints the way single people are viewed when it comes to leadership. The church must come to the place where not only is it color blind in regards to race, but marital status blind as well. That type of prejudice is ungodly.
… Why Does The Church Prefer Married Leaders?
When it comes down to it, it is because they are looking for the 2 for 1 deal. A single man only has so many hours to invest as a leader in the church, however the church assumes that a married man will ask his wife to work along his side, thus doubling the amount of hours invested in the church.
This reasoning is not only carnal, but it is false. A married man has to balance church ministry with ministry to family. Thus having less time to actually devote to the things of God.
So to have a prejudicial attitude towards singles is not only non-biblical but in all honesty it is wrong!
Interesting comment from some guy on the page:
7:04 AM on February 22, 2013
I was single for 7 years between marriages and it really woke me up as to the realities of the church and singles. It can be tough on singles. It’s like “A Tale of Two Cities”. It was the best of times, it was the worst of times.
BTW 1 Timothy 3 says that a church leader can’t be a polygamist. That’s what “husband of one wife” means. It’s not a command that the guy has to marry. Jesus and John the Baptist need not apply for the position of pastor if it’s a prohibition for single people.
Related posts this blog:
(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single
(Link): Why Do Churches Treat Singleness Like a Problem? via Relevant Magazine
(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents
(Link): You Will Be Ignored After Your Spouse Dies (advice columnist)