The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin – Why Women Are Still Single in Their 30s and Older

The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin

I’m a conservative, but I’ve been beyond fed up for years now at how so many other conservatives, as well as sexists of whatever variety, assume that the reason why most women are single past the age of 30 is because they chose career before marriage.

Along with that is the other annoying, very wrong, and sexist assumption by men online that all of us women who remain single past the age of 30 had lots and lots of “nice guys” who wanted to date us back in our 20s, but we coldly, cruelly turned them all down.

I don’t know what the hell those men are talking about, because I did not have lots and lots of men asking me out on dates when I was in my twenties.

But it’s simply not true that all women choose career over “marriage and family.”

Why aren’t men giving up careers to be stay at home fathers, taking care of children?

I never cared much one way or the other if I ever had children, but I had wanted to be married. And I’m not single because I “chose career over spouse.”

I have more observations about this essay below:

(Link): The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin

The image of the single, childless “career woman” is drawn so sharply in our minds, so deeply ingrained in culture and overused in media, it obfuscates the real story. Contrary to popular belief, most working women are not putting their careers ahead of love, marriage and motherhood.

Never mind that there are no “career men” — no one accuses a single, childless man of prioritizing career over love and family just because he’s single and can pay the rent.

But women are made to wear this label — though I have yet to meet a woman who has declined a date with a guy she’s interested in because she’d rather be on a Zoom call.

While college-educated women are settling down and having children later than was once the case, the “career woman” is mostly a mid-century myth, an outlier like Mad Men’s Peggy Olson, who belongs to a time when women went to college to earn their “MRS” degree.

Continue reading “The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin – Why Women Are Still Single in Their 30s and Older”

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

And what do conservative Christians (who tend to be hyper-pro-marriage-and-pro-parenthood-and-pro-nuclear family) do BUT to highly pressure and shame single, childless adults into marrying.

I did a post here years ago about a woman who says she felt pressured to marry by her church, so she ended up marrying the wrong guy, and she regretted it, and she divorced (link to that is below, under “Related Posts”).

Christians and pro-nuclear family conservatives deify marriage (and parenthood and the nuclear family) to such an un-biblical, absurd degree that they end up alienating, insulting, and marginalizing any adult who doesn’t marry or have kids for whatever reason, and it needs to stop.

And by the way, for single adult women who had wanted to marry but remain single after the age of 30, 40, or older, getting married is not easy, but so many conservatives incorrectly assume that if you want marriage, it is easy-peasy, it’s a total snap, that if you want marriage, it will “just happen”,

(or, conservatives – and sometimes secular liberals, too – incredibly, insultingly, and unrealistically – expect single, adult women to “settle” for marrying stupid, abusive, weird, disturbed, sexist, ugly, fat, or idiot men
– of course, they hypocritically would not expect their own single adult daughter to marry a loser or weirdo (no, they advise their own single adult daughter to hold out for a quality catch),
but they feel fine advising non-family single females they run into to marry ANY GUY with a pulse who they cross paths with – it is so hypocritical and demeaning).

If one is a single, adult woman who desires marriage, it is not easy to find a decent, compatible man to marry – not on dating sites, bars, or in churches, either (most churches lack marrying-age single men, and some of the men who attend are abusive or are pedophiles who want to marry an adult woman to act as a “beard” to hide their sexual attraction to children).

(Link): Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study by Leonardo Blair

Excerpts:

Nov 2, 2022
by Leonardo Blair

Couples who get married due to family or social pressure are up to 50% more at risk of having a union that ends in divorce, according to a recent study from the Marriage Foundation in England and Wales.

The study, “Attitudes towards marriage and commitment,” published in October, asked 2,000 adults who had ever married how much they agreed or disagreed with each of 12 reasons presented by researchers for why they got married.

To ensure that the findings were relevant to today’s families, researchers then focused on 905 couples from the sample who married for the first time after the year 2000 when online dating emerged.

“What this research shows conclusively is that the reasons why people get married has a significant material impact to whether they stay together. While this might seem obvious, this has never been quantified,” said Harry Benson, Marriage Foundation’s research director, in a statement about the study shared with The Christian Post. “But the message is clear. Get married for love and your future together and not because it is either expected of you or because of family pressure.”

Continue reading “Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair”

Why Can’t Other Christians Understand I Am Happy Being Single? by Emily Brown

Why Can’t Other Christians Understand I Am Happy Being Single? by Emily Brown

The essay I am excerpting below is pretty good and contains a lot of truth.

It’s certainly true that a person who wanted marriage but remains single can eventually learn to accept their own single status, mostly make peace with it, but well-meaning friends and family (Christians are the worst, they worship marriage),
can make one of their well-meaning comments, and it can send you spiraling – until you learn to let it bounce off you, develop boundaries, and let that well-meaning person know that their comment does offend or hurt, even if that wasn’t their intent.

I also recall years ago seeing Christian singer Carman, who died in 2021, who was single until he got married in his 50s, say on a TBN program (while he was single) that he would be going along okay in life doing just FINE with his single status,
until he’d run into a Christian friend or family member who’d make those passing, sometimes well meaning, comments or questions like, “Why are you still single? Aren’t you depressed or lonely being single?”

Carman said on those occasions, his thoughts were, “You know, I WAS doing okay with being single UNTIL you had to rub my single status in my face and act like I SHOULD feel inadequate about it.”

The following is from Relevant, which only permits a person up to around five free articles per month:

(Link): Why Can’t Other Christians Understand I Am Happy Being Single?

Excerpts:

by Emily Brown

As a lifelong single person, I’ve had a lot of time to come to terms with my singleness. And not even just come to terms and begrudgingly accept it, but truly learn to enjoy and love being single.

So when people ask how I feel about being single I don’t have to fake a smile. I excitedly share the happiness and joy I feel about being single.

That being said, there are still moments where I do feel sadness or shame or embarrassment about my singleness.

Do you know why? It’s because of the response people give me when I tell them how I feel about being single. Because when I tell people that I’m single they often respond with some iteration of:

“I’m sure you’ll find someone soon!”

Uh, thanks?

Nowhere in my explanation of my relationship status did I mention I was upset or worried.

Yet why do people — and let me be clear on which people I am specifically talking about: already married Christians — always assume I am sad about being single?

It has been a long, long journey to finding happiness. I worked really, really hard to unlearn the lie that being with someone would make my life complete and replace it with the truth that God is all I need.

I had to realize that there isn’t anything wrong with me and being single is not a curse.

…But it can take just a few words from well-meaning, ultimately misguided people to crack holes in my happiness.

Continue reading “Why Can’t Other Christians Understand I Am Happy Being Single? by Emily Brown”

Liberal Author Says the Family Unit is ‘A Terrible Way to Satisfy … Love and Care,’ Calls to Abolish It – The Pros and Cons of Her View

Liberal Author Says the Family Unit is ‘A Terrible Way to Satisfy … Love and Care,’ Calls to Abolish It – The Pros and Cons of Her View

Well, I am a conservative, and I am not “anti Nuclear Family,” so I cannot say I agree with the idea of abolishing The Nuclear Family.

On the other hand, as I’ve stated numerous times on this blog, married couples have been shown in studies to be too self-absorbed (they meet all the needs of their spouse and kids while not extending help or care to those outside their nuclear family, and the Bible itself notes in 1 Corinthians 7 that married people are more concerned with meeting the needs of their spouse than in doing God’s work).

Too many conservatives place too much emphasis on the Nuclear Family, especially religious persons. The Bible simply does not command people to marry – sorry, but the one call to widows to re-marry does not establish that marriage for the never-married is a requirement, or that the command is timeless for all people – and the Bible does not say that marriage or The Family Unit will save or rescue a society.

The Bible says the problem with a nation is that each individual is a sinner before God, and the only solution to that is for the individual to put saving faith in Jesus. The Bible does not prescribe marriage and establishing the Nuclear Family as a solution.

An un-due emphasis on the “family” unnecessarily marginalizes single adults, widows, the divorced, the infertile among us – the Bible says the purest religion is to help the widow and the orphan (see James 1:27), not to minister to The Nuclear Family.

There are problems with the Nuclear Family, with conservatives turning it into a deity that they worship and place an unhealthy fixation upon (among other issues), but I also do not support communism, marxism, or eliminating the Nuclear Family.

I do not support abortion – that topic is raised below. The woman discussed below who is arguing against the Nuclear Family supports abortion; I do not.

(Link): Author Sophie Lewis’ forthcoming book is titled ‘Abolish the Family’

In a forthcoming book titled “Abolish the Family,” the author “makes the case for family abolition,” according to a book description that calls author Sophie Lewis a “leading feminist critic.”

I have additional commentary and resources below this link and report:

(Link): Liberal author says the family unit is ‘a terrible way to satisfy… love & care,’ calls to abolish it

Excerpts:

Sophie Lewis previously called for women to embrace abortion as justified killing

Sept 25, 2022
By Lindsay Kornick | Fox News

Feminist theorist and author Sophie Lewis was the subject of an article on Friday in the UK’s The New Statesman website publication following her new book “Abolish the Family.”

Historian Erin Magalaque discussed Lewis’ book which described the family unit as “a terrible way to satisfy all of our desires for love, care, nourishment” and was highly critical of suggestions otherwise.

“The family isn’t actually any good at creating intimacy, Lewis argues; the family creates, in fact, a dearth of care, with shreds and scraps of intimacy fought out between overworked parents and totally dependent kids, hidden behind the locked doors of private property,” Magalaque wrote.

Magalaque complimented Lewis’ efforts to mock what she called “inevitable knee-jerk” reactions to calls to abolish the family unit.

Continue reading “Liberal Author Says the Family Unit is ‘A Terrible Way to Satisfy … Love and Care,’ Calls to Abolish It – The Pros and Cons of Her View”

Critique of Federalist Editorial “There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right by Elle Reynolds” – Do Federalist Magazine Members Realize There Are Single, Childless Conservative Women?

Critique of Federalist Editorial “There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right by Elle Reynolds” – Do Federalist Magazine Members Realize There Are Single, Childless Conservative Women?

Way below, I will link to and discuss yet another unfortunate editorial from conservative site The Federalist which again incorrectly conflates “womanhood” with motherhood,  as if there’s an assumption that all conservative women are married with children
(hint: we are not. Some of us conservative women are single and childless. I am no less a woman, or no less a conservative, merely because I am childless and single).

It seems as though The Federalist, like many other conservative sites, pumps out at least one of these
“womanhood = motherhood and wife, and if you disagree with this assumption, you must be an abortion-supporting, man-hating, Democrat feminist”
type editorials about once a month to once every three months. And they are so tiresome.

Just a few months ago, I wrote this post:

(Link): Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay

And now here I am again, having to address another one of their, “rah rah marriage and motherhood, being conservative as a woman means being a wife and a mother!” type pieces.

Some conservative authors may concede that it’s possible to be a woman and be single and also be childless and also be a conservative, but one would not know it, from their unrelenting association of womanhood with marital or parental status.

I’m a conservative woman who was raised a gender complementarian Southern Baptist. I rejected complementarianism years ago and no longer consider myself to be a Southern Baptist.

I am not a progressive, a liberal, or a feminist.

I don’t agree with all views of feminists, but at times, I’ve found that other conservatives, in attempting to “own the libs,” or in arguing against feminist perspectives (some which conservatives occasionally caricaturize, which results in strawman arguments), go too far in the other, and equally wrong, direction.

I have nothing against the nuclear family, marriage, or motherhood. However, there is nothing wrong with a person being single and childless, whether by choice or by circumstance.

Yes, some conservative (and non-conservative) women are single by circumstance, and somehow such women are never considered in these excessively pro-motherhood, pro-nuclear family, pro-marriage pieces. More about that:

(Link):  Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)

If you’re a Christian – and I think many of the writers at The Federalist are Christian, or at least supportive of Judeo-Christian values – you cannot plausibly defend a hyper-fixation on marriage, the nuclear family, and motherhood (or fatherhood) from the Bible itself.

The Bible actually teaches that spiritual family is of more import than biological family. Jesus of Nazareth taught in the Gospels that if you follow him, you are to place him above your spouse, any children you have, your siblings, your parents, and other biological family.

(See Matthew 12:46-50 and Matthew 10:37, 38 for more about how Jesus discouraged his followers from prioritizing biological family or spouse above devotion to God or above spiritual family, as today’s American conservatives tend to do.)

The Bible simply does not teach anyone to “focus on their (biological) family,” nor does the Bible teach that marriage, natalism, parenthood, or the nuclear family will fix a culture or that marriage or parenthood will make a person more godly, ethical, or responsible.

The Bible says that the problem with humanity is sin, that each person is a sinner, and the Bible prescribes belief in Jesus as Savior to be the cure – not marriage or having a baby.

In 1 Corinthians 7, the Apostle Paul wrote it is better to remain single than to marry:

Now to the unmarried and the widows I say: It is good for them to stay unmarried, as I do …
(28) …But those who marry will face many troubles in this life, and I want to spare you this.
32 I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord. 33 But a married man is concerned about the affairs of this world—how he can please his wife— 34 and his interests are divided.
An unmarried woman or virgin is concerned about the Lord’s affairs: Her aim is to be devoted to the Lord in both body and spirit. But a married woman is concerned about the affairs of this world—how she can please her husband.
35 I am saying this for your own good, not to restrict you, but that you may live in a right way in undivided devotion to the Lord.

That sure doesn’t sound like a ringing endorsement of marriage, motherhood, and the nuclear family, the kind I regularly hear from secular and Christian conservatives!

However, too many editorials by conservative sites – Federalist is really bad about this, as are BreakPoint and several others – continue to conflate “godly,” “mature,” patriotic, and good with “being a married mother.”

I’m a conservative woman who never did marry. Not because I am “anti marriage,” but because in spite of all the propaganda I was fed by Southern Baptist and evangelical Christians from the time I was a kid and teen (i.e., if I just had faith, attended church, prayed, etc, that God would send me a husband), and although I followed that evangelical and Baptist teaching, I never-the-less was never sent a spouse.

I did not choose to remain single over my entire life; that is just how my life turned out.

By staying single for as long as I have, and I remain right of center politically, I’ve seen that too many other conservatives, in seeking to correct what they see as liberal or feminist mistakes regarding family and marriage, end up going in error by going in the direct, 180 degree opposite direction, by placing an over-emphasis upon marriage and parenthood.

Here’s a link with excerpts to the editorial from The Federalist, and below, I’ll pick apart where I agree or disagree:

The Editorial by E. Reynolds on The Federalist

(Link): There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right

Excerpts:

by Elle Reynolds
June 15, 2022

… Even at the height of the feminist movement, the lies that women must become like men to be real women were damaging — but now, all pretenses are up.
— end excerpt —

Women Must Become Like Men To Be Real Women?

When Reynolds writes, “… the lies that women must become like men to be real women were damaging,” what does she mean? What does she mean by women “becoming like men?”

I think I know what Reynolds means, and if I am correct, she is most likely referring to gender stereotypes, that women are, or should be, great at relationships, free to show emotion, nurturing, warm, passive, be risk averse, and docile.

(Note that many of these stereotypes for women are the same as hallmarks of codependency.)

Continue reading “Critique of Federalist Editorial “There Is One Pro-Women Camp In American Politics, And It’s The Right by Elle Reynolds” – Do Federalist Magazine Members Realize There Are Single, Childless Conservative Women?”

Marriage Counselors Share 30 Mistakes Couples Make

Marriage Counselors Share 30 Mistakes Couples Make

I have a quibble with #14 on the list. It says you’re not supposed to “keep score” in a relationship.

I think I see what they mean, but…. there are times in your life when you’re in a relationship, whether it’s dating, a work relationship, friendship, marriage, whatever type of relationship, where the other person is in fact self-absorbed, selfish, and/or narcissistic, which means, you will start to notice after so many months or years that you are definitely doing most of the giving most of the time but the other person hardly gives back.

When you’re in an imbalanced relationship, you can’t help but start to notice and feel resentful, and that type of relationship is not sustainable. It’s NOT petty or immature to start noticing and getting angry, resentful, or tired of being exploited by another person. That’s actually a normal reaction.

Point 3 below reminds me of a variation of friendships or other non-romantic relationships: when you, for example, call a family member because you’re upset, sad, stressed or angry about X, but the family member uses YOUR phone call about YOUR problem to say something like, “That sounds bad, but let me tell you about MY bad day / week / month / marriage / job problems.”

And before you know it, you end up listening to THEM talk about THEIR problem for an hour and a half, when you phoned them seeking a sounding board or empathy for YOUR problem.

I’ve had numerous friends and family over my life pull that on me, and it’s totally infuriating.

I was too bashful for years to do anything about it, but a few years ago, when one of my Aunts tried pulling something similar on me – she tried to commandeer the phone call to make it all about HER.

I listened to a moment for her to talk about her, I made a brief comment about “oh, I’m sorry to hear about that,” but then I said, “but anyway, like I was saying to you a moment ago, I’m upset lately, because blah blah blah…” (I pivoted the phone call BACK TO ME).

I didn’t let this Aunt, who is notorious for hijacking of conversations to turn it all back to her and her life, to get away with it yet again.

Here is the list:

(Link): Marriage Counselors Share 30 Mistakes Couples Make

Excerpts:

March 23, 2022
by Ieva Gailiūtė and Mindaugas Balčiauskas

Anyone in a long-term relationship can tell you it’s no easy walk in the park. Just think about the heated arguments, compromises, and misunderstandings — navigating the ups and downs is quite a task right there, especially when it comes to marriage. Well, no one is immune to the occasional blips and bumps in the road, and this viral thread is here to prove it.

Reddit user Zorra_ decided to find out what blunders happen after people tie the knot and say “I do”. They raised a question on the Ask Reddit online forum: “Marriage counselors, what are the most common mistakes couples make?” Hundreds of professionals rolled up their sleeves and typed some of the things they witnessed during their careers.

…..1. [Relationship Should Take Priority Over Marriage]

I’m not a marriage counselor but my wife posted a very meaningful and controversial article the other day and tagged me in it because I agree with its philosophy.

It was titled “Your kids should not be the most important part of your marriage.”

Continue reading “Marriage Counselors Share 30 Mistakes Couples Make”

A Preoccupation with Romantic Love Can Limit Our Life Choices and Undermine Our Happiness by Bella DePaulo

A Preoccupation with Romantic Love Can Limit Our Life Choices and Undermine Our Happiness by Bella Depaulo

(Link): A Preoccupation with Romantic Love Can Limit Our Life Choices and Undermine Our Happiness by Bella Depaulo

Excerpts:

… Social scientists have sometimes contributed to our preoccupation with romantic love by focusing on that far more often than other kinds of love or other kinds of meaningful relationships.

Increasingly, though, researchers are documenting the potential downsides of an overinvestment in romantic love.

 They are showing the ways in which (Link): romantic themes limit the aspirations of young women.

They are also showing that adolescents who get their wish and become romantically involved (Link): end up more depressed than adolescents who spend the same amount of time without any romantic relationships.

Adults, too – women, especially – sometimes find that (Link):  their romantic relationships become more depressing over time.

Continue reading “A Preoccupation with Romantic Love Can Limit Our Life Choices and Undermine Our Happiness by Bella DePaulo”

How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life

How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life

(Link): How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life

The “solo” movement is quickly becoming popular, especially among women who are tired of being told they need to settle down.

Jan 19, 2022
By Joyann Jeffrey

It’s projected that 1 in 4 millennials will never tie the knot — and that’s absolutely OK. Recent studies show that getting married isn’t necessarily the key to happiness.

Single people tend to exercise more, have more friends and are more likely to volunteer in their communities than married folks.

That’s why Peter McGraw, a 51-year-old behavioral economist, started an online community known as (Link): the “solo” movement that celebrates single life and rewrites the misconception that “singles are sad and lonely.”

“Why is it that when you ask a married person, ‘Are you happy?’ and they say yes, you believe them,” he told TODAY’s Maria Shriver. “And then when someone asks a single person, ‘Are you happy?’ and they say yes, there’s still some doubt there? If someone says they’re happy, trust them — because there’s many ways to be happy in life.”

What is the “solo” movement?
This movement aims to enforce the notion that people can find happiness and fulfillment outside of marriage.

Continue reading “How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life”

Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay


Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay

In the last two months, I’ve seen two different editorials from conservative site The Federalist in support of marriage (or parenthood).

I’m a conservative. I am not in opposition to marriage or people choosing to have children.

My issue with other conservatives is that they are so paranoid of liberals and assume all liberals are anti-marriage and anti-parenthood to the degree that they leave no room for nuance, meaning, that unfortunately, many pro-marriage and pro-parenthood conservatives end up “trash talking” singleness and the state of being childless (or being childfree).

I’m a conservative woman who has never married, and I’ve never had children, yet I do not hate marriage or married people having children, and I am so tired of these conservative authors or pundits feeling it necessary to put down single or childless adults like myself in their quest to defend marriage and natalism – conservative single adults like myself get caught in the cross-fire.

If you are a conservative who believes too many liberals are anti-marriage or anti-parenthood, and you want to speak out in favor of either station, that’s fine with me, but as a single, childless, conservative woman, I do get very hacked off and offended to read these conservative articles and editorials whose authors assume that any and all single and childless (or childfree) adults are awful, selfish, anti-family, weird, under-developed, or jerks.

Not every one in the United States today who is single past the age of 30, or who is childless or is childfree, is a feminist, a liberal, a progressive, pro-abortion, Democrat, or anti-family.

So, to my fellow conservatives, stop assuming that all single adults who remain single by choice OR by circumstance, or who are childless or childfree, are terrible, selfish, or are baby-hating progressives.

There is ZERO NEED to defend or promote marriage by talking in a derogatory manner about singleness or the state of being childless or childfree.

Make your case in favor of marriage or natalism without resorting to insulting all single adults, or assuming and making the false case that all single adults hate marriage, hate babies, or vote Democrat.

Here is the first of two recent pro-marriage or pro-natalism editorials at conservative site The Federalist  that manage to work in insults and slams against single adults or singleness itself – which is totally shameful and unnecessary!

(Link):  Joy Behar Accidentally Admits Social Conservatives Were Right About Sex

Pertinent Excerpts:

BY: NATHANAEL BLAKE
December 10, 2021

… In particular, large numbers of unattached men are bad for society; having a family encourages men to be productive and protective, rather than idle drones or predators.
— end excerpts —

I mean, really? It’s not necessary or fair to refer to or describe men who remain single as being “idle drones or predators.”

I have a long-running list of news headlines at my blog (in this post) of married men (some who even work as church pastors) who were arrested for wife abuse, making child porn, or raping children.

Serial killer John Wayne Gacy was married to a woman, had two biological children by her, but he went on to rape and murder over two dozen young men. Did marriage and fatherhood make Gacy more “loving” and “giving?” No, no it did not.

Marriage does not stop a man from being “a predator.”

Continue reading “Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay”

Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard

Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard

This raises several points I’ve been pointing out here on this blog for years:

(Link): Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having

Excerpts:

by Mimi Haddard
June 4, 2019

Recently, my graduate students discussed how US culture sometimes idolizes sex. Citing a friend, one said, “the orgasm has replaced the cross as the place of transcendence in 21st century American culture.”

A recent study suggested that, though casual sex is more accepted than ever, loneliness is too.

 Twenty-seven percent of Americans feel isolated, but loneliness is far worse among eighteen to twenty-two year-olds, followed by Millennials. The least lonely were Americans aged seventy-two and older—those having fewer sexual encounters.

Western culture often celebrates eros (romantic or sexual love) exclusively, but Scripture speaks of four distinct types of love: storge (love for those who are familiar, such as family, neighbors, coworkers, etc.), agape (God’s love), philia (love between kindred spirits), and eros.

Continue reading “Debunking Eros: Why Romantic Love Isn’t the Only Love Worth Having by Mimi Haddard”

Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical

Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical

As a moderately conservative individual, I agree with much of the content published at The Federalist, but certainly not all. This is one of those times when no, I don’t agree.

The name Joy Pullman looked familiar to me, and sure enough, a few years ago, I did a post or two criticizing (Link): one of her other articles.

This time, I am disagreeing with this following piece at The Federalist by Joy Pullman;
I will put some excerpts in, and below that, discuss where my areas of disagreement are
(and it’s a super long excerpt – my comments will be way, way below):

(Link): Christianity’s Growth Problem Isn’t Politics, It’s Our Failure To Have And Evangelize Children

Like just about every other Western Christian body, as well as the United States, the SBC is left to squabble over shrinking slices of a dwindling pie.

by Joy Pullman

The New York Times put out a lengthy preview of the Southern Baptist Convention’s top controversies heading into their annual meeting this week in Nashville, Tenn. Members of the nation’s largest evangelical denomination are weighing the future of their religious body amid numerous theological controversies.

Decline Stems From No Babies, Not Being Too Trumpy
The Times reports that one of the SBC’s concerns is “15-year decline” in members, both through potential theological schisms intertwined with politics, such as critical race theory, and through an aging and thus declining membership.

….While the Times makes much of contrasting the SBC’s political conservatism with its forecast of demographically decisive American leftism, it doesn’t note that the SBC’s decline is directly related to following broader American culture, instead of Christian beliefs, on a keystone of institutional vibrancy: fertility.

Continue reading “Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical”

No Surprise There: Bradford Wilcox Deems Married People Better Off During Pandemic Than Single Adults – Rebuttals

No Surprise There: Bradford Wilcox Deems Married People Better Off During Pandemic Than Single Adults – Rebuttals

I have made several blog posts in years past discussing some of Bradford Wilcox’s articles about marriage for various publications.

Wilcox works for, is somehow affiliated with, organizations such as the National Marriage Project and Institute For Family Studies. He is very much about promoting marriage, natalism, and the nuclear family.

In years past, he has promoted marriage and all the rest at the expense of singleness: he loves to advance marriage by stigmatizing singleness.

Wilcox (and guys like him, such as Southern Baptist Al Mohler) likes to try to “scare” single adults into getting married by publishing faulty and fear-mongering essays about how studies (which he sometimes misquotes or misunderstands) supposedly say that singles are more likely to suffer this or that calamity or problem than are married people.

Any time Wilcox comments on any issue, you can guarantee before you click on the headline that his editorial will say that married people have X better than singles have X.

It doesn’t matter if he’s talking about financial issues – like in the link that follows – or some other topic.

His pieces are all heavily agenda-driven: to make marriage look fabulous by slamming singleness, or by making singleness look “worse” than marriage, or by making singleness look unsafe, scary, or miserable.

Continue reading “No Surprise There: Bradford Wilcox Deems Married People Better Off During Pandemic Than Single Adults – Rebuttals”