Setting Yourself Up For Failure, Transgender Edition: Demanding Full Acceptance, External Validation Constantly, or Else You’ll Off Yourself, You Say

Setting Yourself Up For Failure, Transgender Edition: Demanding Full Acceptance, External Validation Constantly, or Else You’ll Off Yourself, You Say

What I say in this post is also applicable to anyone else, but as of late, we’re having a cultural moment in the United States (Great Britain and Scotland also seem to be having this same problem), where transgender persons, mostly biological men who claim to be women (“transwomen”) are demanding, or guilt tripping, others into constantly validating or accepting them and their new “woman” identity.

Just as I said in another blog post months ago about clinically depressed people having the ability to make choices and to make changes (and yes, they do have that ability), so too do these transgender people.

Just as a clinically depressed person is still responsible for his or own situation and happiness in spite of having depression, so too are transgender persons.

You may not be “to blame” for having a problem, whether it’s depression or whatever else, but you remain responsible for how you handle and deal with that problem.

A person granting another adult, (whether they suffer from depression or gender dysphoria), non-stop empathy, attention, validation, and acceptance, is not ultimately going to erase the person’s depression or dysphoria.

The empathy, the validation, and so on, that these emotionally damaged and needy people say they want, and that some of them rudely or arrogantly demand from others, only acts like a temporary band-aid to a very deep wound that needs surgery.

Your emotional wound and inner pain is not going to permanently go away until and unless YOU take charge and do something about it.

One of the things you can do about it is to start seeing a reputable therapist or psychologist, of the “non-woke” variety.

A woke, progressive therapist will only keep you trapped in what is making you unhappy to start with, largely by giving you that on-going validation you want – rather than help you find solutions you can actually start working on.

At the very least, seek out free, online self-help material by therapists and psychologists if you cannot afford regular mental health professional visits. Do not seek out help, advice, or empathy from places such as Reddit, TikTok, Instagram, or Twitter.

Other adults pitying you, giving you affirmation, calling you by your “preferred pronouns,” or reassuring you that yes, you’re a victim in life, and so on, will not solve your deeper problems.

Transitioning from being one biological sex to pretending to be the other biological sex likewise will not permanently, psychologically heal a person.

(Link – off site): Jazz Jennings, America’s first trans child celebrity, admits all the surgeries and affirmations haven’t helped

If you did not like yourself when you presented as a man, most of you won’t like yourself after you begin to present as a woman, either.

If you were born a woman and didn’t like yourself when you were a woman, and then try to present and live as a man, you still won’t like yourself, either.

Youth Advocacy Group Denounces Government Plan to Cut Abstinence-Only Education

Youth Advocacy Group Denounces Government Plan to Cut Abstinence-Only Education

(Link): Youth advocacy group denounces gov’t plan to cut abstinence-only education

By Samantha Kamman
August 5, 2022

An organization that teaches youth to avoid unsafe sexual behaviors has denounced a recent decision to eliminate federal funding for abstinence-only sex education programs.

Last week, the Senate Appropriations Committee announced the release of the proposed Departments of Labor, Health and Human Services, Education, and Related Agencies Appropriations Act of 2023.

The proposed appropriations act eliminates funding for Sexual Risk Avoidance education (SRA), which promotes abstinence until marriage, for the 2023 fiscal year.

The explanatory statement summarizing the budget argues that SRA is “ineffective” and withholds pertinent information about sexual health from teenagers.

Mary Anne Mosack, president and CEO of Ascend, an organization that advocates for SRA training to help youth form healthy relationships, argues that the program should be funded.

In a Monday statement to The Christian Post, Mosack said parents should be given a choice regarding their child’s sex education.

“Teaching clarity over confusion in a culture of sexual accommodation demands that we are clear, intentional and sufficiently loud enough for youth to hear over the noise of chaotic, disoriented messages about sex, relationships and marriage,” she said. “How adolescents learn and process this important part of their natural development is key to their healthy decision-making skills.”

Mosack contended that adolescents need to know the biological facts concerning puberty, reproduction and disease transmission and that youth should understand the benefits of delaying sex until marriage.

“They need to know the red flags of sexual coercion and dating violence,” the SRA proponent said. “They need to know the risks of teen sex, not just to physical health but to mental, emotional and spiritual and ethical health.”

‘Sextortionists’ Are Increasingly Targeting Young Men For Money. The Outcome Can Be Deadly.

‘Sextortionists’ Are Increasingly Targeting Young Men For Money. The Outcome Can Be Deadly. by Corky Siemaszko

Update Below, December 2022

(Link): ‘Sextortionists’ are increasingly targeting young men for money. The outcome can be deadly.

May 8, 2022

“They wouldn’t give up, and he felt he had no choice but to do it to protect his family,” one mother said after internet blackmailers targeted her son and he took his own life.

by Corky Siemaszko

Internet blackmailers are increasingly duping young men and boys into sending them sexually explicit content online by posing as young girls on social media platforms like Facebook and Instagram and then extorting them in a scheme known as “sextortion” — and dozens of these cases have ended with the victims taking their own lives, police and child advocates told NBC News.

In a sign of how serious the problem is becoming, the FBI’s field office in Los Angeles released a warning last month aimed directly at the parents of young men caught in the crosshairs of these cyber-criminals who often operate in foreign countries.

“The FBI is receiving an increasing number of reports of adults posing as young girls coercing young boys through social media to produce sexual images and videos and then extorting money from them,” the FBI warning said.

Dozens of boys have reported being “victims of sextortion; mostly for money, although others were reportedly sextorted for additional images,” the agency said in a subsequent news release.

Thousands Question 63-Year-Old Pentecostal Bishop’s Marriage to Teen in His Church (There is a 43 Year Age Gap)

Thousands Question 63-Year-Old Pentecostal Bishop’s Marriage to Teen in His Church

 April 20, 2022

I actually meant to blog about this earlier. I saw a few people mention this on Twitter about two or three (or more??) weeks (or months?) ago, I guess it was.

This is gross. I have never, ever agreed with “may-december relationships,” where someone is more than 5 or 6 years older than their partner. I think they’re nasty. 🤮🤢

Creepy doofus mentioned below has been divorced THREE TIMES. Three. 

Let this go to show you that Christian dating and advice books from years past (I don’t know if they still do this) that advise singles who want marriage that God won’t permit you to marry until you achieve some level of godliness, maturity, or perfection are obviously in error, since creepy perverts like this guy manage to make it to the altar THREE TIMES (or, I guess four, if this is wife four?)

(Link):  Bishop, 63, defending marriage to teen in Iowa court

Excerpts:

DES MOINES, Iowa — Bishop Demetrius Sinegal, the founder of an advocacy organization that works to expose clergy abuse, flew in from Texas and called for a full investigation into the November 15th marriage of Des Moines Bishop Dwight Reed and Jordan Reed of the Christ Apostolic Temple. Dwight is 63-years-old and Jordan is 19.

“This marriage tears at the very fiber of the social construct of the African American family. Children are taught to respect their grandparent contemporaries not to marry them,” said Sinegal.

Iowa law states the minimum age to marry without parental consent is eighteen but Bishop Sinegal claims Jordan’s paternal grandfather came on one of Sinegal’s many online platforms alleging clergy abuse. “He came on and emphatically condemned this marriage. His words and I quote were ‘Her father sold his daughter out and pimped her out for his own self-gain.’”

(Link): Thousands Question 63-Year-Old Pentecostal Bishop’s Marriage to Teen in His Church

Excerpts:

April 20, 2022
By Josh Shepherd

Thousands are calling for an investigation into a Pentecostal church bishop in Iowa who married a teen in his church.

An outside clergyman accuses the bishop of “gross abuse of power” and years-long “grooming” of an underage congregant. And some of the teen’s family members and fellow church members also say they’re concerned she is a victim of clergy abuse.

Sex Abuse Fears Over ‘Tinder for Teens’ App Amid Warning That Users Could Also Be Open to Bullying and Racism

Sex Abuse Fears Over ‘Tinder for Teens’ App Amid Warning That Users Could Also Be Open to Bullying and Racism 

(Link): ‘Tinder for teens’ app contains sexual harassment and racism: report

by Ben Cost

A popular teen dating app named Yubo has come under fire after an investigation found it to be a cesspool of sexual harassment, racism and other sordid activities.

The app, which is available in both the US and the UK, has been dubbed “Tinder for Teens.” It invites teens as young as 13 to match with potential dates and even interact with about 100 other teenagers.

(Link): Sex Abuse Fears Over ‘Tinder for Teens’ App Amid Warning That Users Could Also Be Open to Bullying and Racism 

Feb 2022

Schools have warned against a new social media app dubbed ‘Tinder for teens’ after claims it exposes children to sexual harassment, racism and bullying.

Yubo, which has 3.6million users in the UK, allows children aged between 13 and 17 to match with potential dates and encourages them to join group video calls.

But head teachers have warned parents that children could stumble across inappropriate content and that the app could be exploited by adults.

An undercover reporter for the Sunday Times posing as a 15-year-old girl was frequently asked to send nude pictures and was propositioned for sex.

Secular Sex Ed Failures, Secular Sexual and Biological Ignorance

Secular Sex Ed Failures, Secular Sexual and Biological Ignorance

Are you counting on secular sources to educate you properly on sex, biology, anatomy, or puberty? Are you counting on secular sources to even address a possible (negative) psychological and emotional consequence of having sex when you’re not truly ready, or don’t want to do it, but feel shamed or guilted by a date or culture, into having sex? Ha ha, well, good luck with that!

Not only do some Non-Christians hold false or weird ideas about sex themselves, but some Non-Christians like to portray all or most Christians as having false, shaming, or weird ideas about sex.

As someone who has followed a lot of Non-Christian, feminist social media accounts or who has dropped by their magazine sites to read their articles about sex, men, and sexism in the last several years, one recurrent theme that shows up is how ignorant teen boys and men in their 20s (and sometimes older men) are about sex.

I should maybe do a post about that later.

But the fact is, a lot of Non-Christian men, who are being raised in secular culture, some of whom have who even been exposed to secular sex education teachings in public school, have NO IDEA how a woman’s body works.

A lot of these Non-Christian men hold all sorts of false, bonkers ideas of how  menstrual periods work, or how a woman can get pregnant, for example, which shocks the secular, feminist women writers.

There are secular, liberal feminists who mock this secular, male ignorance all the time on their sites.

You can probably google to find examples of it. Maybe I will make a post about it later. I’ve seen a lot of it over the years.

Sexual Abstinence is, in fact, one way to totally avoid contracting STIs, sorry to inform the critics of Christian sexual ethics, or the high school kids in some of the quotes below on the BuzzFeed site, who lament that their sex ed teachings advised them (accurately!) that sexual abstinence is the safest bet.

There is no form of artificial birth control that is 100% effective. Condoms are cited as being 98% effective, but what if you’re in on that two percent failure rate?

Some forms of sexual acts, such as anal sex (which (Link): some secular teen magazines have been promoting in the last few years), are more liable to cause or spread disease and create physical issues.
See, for example, this SECULAR (Non-Christian) page about anal sex at WebMD, which confirms that:

(Link):  Anal Sex Safety: What to Know

Excerpt:

The lining of the anus is thinner than the vagina, and it lacks natural lubrication. That makes it much more vulnerable to tearing. Tears can allow viruses and bacteria to enter the bloodstream. This can include sexually transmitted infections, such as HIV.

Studies have suggested that anal exposure to HIV poses 30 times more risk for the receptive partner than vaginal exposure.

Anal intercourse can also boost the risk of getting the human papillomavirus (HPV).

HPV may also lead to the development of anal warts and anal cancer. Using lubricants can help, but it doesn’t completely prevent tearing.

The tissue inside the anus is not as well-protected as the skin outside the anus. Our external tissue has layers of dead cells that serve as a protective barrier against infection. The tissue inside the anus doesn’t have this natural protection, which leaves it vulnerable to tearing and the spread of infection.

The anus was designed to hold in feces. The anus is surrounded with a ring-like muscle, called the anal sphincter, which tightens after we have a bowel movement. When the muscle is tight, anal penetration can be painful and difficult.

Repetitive anal sex may weaken the anal sphincter, making it difficult to hold in feces until you can get to the toilet. Kegel exercises to strengthen the sphincter may help prevent this problem or correct it.

The anus is full of bacteria. Bacteria normally in the anus can potentially infect the giving partner. Having vaginal sex after anal sex can also lead to vaginal and urinary tract infections.
— end excerpts —

I don’t think all the samples on the pages below are all Christian –
(I am not going to copy the entire pages; if you’d like to see all the examples, please use the links below to visit the pages to view them all if you want to):

(Link): One Man Believes Women With Large Boobs Scientifically Can’t Be Smart And 49 Other Jaw-dropping Misconceptions Men Actually Believe About Women (some of the examples on the page involve inaccurate ideas men have about female anatomy, biology, etc)

(Link):  34 Things Some Men Believe About The Female Body That Concern Me

I think it’s time for us to have an adult sex-ed class because WHEW, child.

…5. “I’m a female student who’s taking sex ed now.
The funniest thing to me is how often they refer to penises and male anatomy, but rarely discuss vaginas and female anatomy. It’s kinda disgusting how little the guys have to learn about vaginas and periods, yet, I know pretty much everything about males now.”

(Link):  People Are Sharing What’s Being Taught Today In Sex Ed And It Proves We Still Have A Long Way To Go

(Link):  “My Sex Ed Teacher Told Me Women Cannot Orgasm”: People Are Sharing The Biggest Sex Ed Failures They’ve Ever Witnessed

Excerpts:

“My male sex education teacher told our entire classroom that period cramps do not exist and that he would not accept them as an excuse to get out of gym class.”

January 8, 2022
by Maya Ogolini – BuzzFeed Staff

Let’s face it: Sex can sometimes be an uncomfortable conversation topic when you’re young. Whether your school had a teacher attempt to explain things in health class or your parents sat you down for a “birds and the bees” talk, chances are you spent a majority of the time learning about sex wishing that you were anywhere else.

But sometimes trying your best to avoid an awkward situation can actually result in a much more awkward, embarrassing situation.

Recently, Reddit user u/wilson-volleyball77 asked,

“What is one sex education fail you’ve heard/experienced?”

Here are some of the best:

1. “If you use a tampon before sex, then you’re no longer a virgin. The number of people that believe this is unbelievable.”
—u/Typical-Cantaloupe48

“When I was a freshman in high school, my dad heard me tell my mom that I needed tampons from the store, and he freaked out. He thought that you had to have sex first before being able to use them. I was only 14, and I understood all that a lot better than him.
—u/sunflowerssunshine_

…6. “A guy once told me he thought periods lasted a whole month.”
—u/AstroLozza

7. “I was asked this question, ‘How will you be able to pee when you have your hysterectomy?’
—u/purely_logic

“I had to tell my first girlfriend she didn’t pee out of her vagina. She didn’t know she had a urethra.”
—u/Sebastian83100

Teen Girls On The Pill Are More Depressed (2019 Study)

Teen Girls On The Pill Are More Depressed (2019 Study)

(Link): Teen Girls On The Pill Are More Depressed (2019 Study)

Excerpts:

Teenage girls on the pill are more likely to suffer from symptoms linked todepression, according to a new study.

Researchers found that 16-year-olds taking oral contraceptives reported more depressive symptoms – such as crying and having problems with sleep and eating – than those that did not.

Doctors say depressive symptoms can be subtler than diagnosed clinical depression, but are much more common and nonetheless have a profound impact on someone’s quality of life.

Father, Son of Texas Baptist Church Both Arrested for Raping Teens, Sexual Assault of Children – So Much for Marriage Making People More Mature and Godly

Father, Son of Texas Baptist Church Both Arrested for Raping Teens, Sexual Assault of Children – So Much for Marriage Making People More Mature and Godly

But I thought that the nuclear family was supposed to erase all sin, including rape and child abuse, and that Male Headship under Complementarianism and Parenthood and Marriage made people more godly, loving, and ethical, as some Christians teach?

Here we have an another example where none of that is true (my Twitter friend ymmarta passed this along to me):

(Link): Father, Son of Texas Baptist Church Both Arrested for Raping Teens, Sexual Assault of Children

And why should any single Christian woman who desires marriage bother sticking to the “Equally Yoked” rule when so many Christian men – even ones who work in and for churches!! – are perverts? It makes no sense.

And why do so many Christians keep telling singles who desire marriage that they won’t get a spouse until they become more spiritual, more mature, more holy, or more “whatever?” If God permitted these teen-raping perverts to have a spouse, why not a law-abiding single adult?

Teen Vogue Magazine Promoting Anal Sex (2017)

Teen Vogue Magazine Promoting Anal Sex

One wonders if this teen magazine ever offers celibacy or virginity as choices for teen girls? Probably not. Liberals generally do not support a girl or woman’s choice to sexually abstain, but will mock it.

I don’t think the vast majority of women want to have anal sex with a man but are usually pressured into it by a boyfriend. Ditto on oral sex and other non-missionary style forms of sex. (But perhaps the article was aimed at LGBT individuals.)

If you are a teen girl (I cannot imagine why a teen girl would be reading my blog, but regardless…) you can do with your body as you please. If you do not want to have any sex at all, then do not have sex. If you do not want to have anal sex, then do not have anal sex.

Do not allow feminists, boyfriends, magazines, or Hollywood pressure you, shame you, or guilt trip you into doing sexual activity you feel conflicted about or don’t want to participate in.

If you have a boyfriend who is pressuring you to have sex or to engage in a particular sex act you’d rather not perform, please realize it is better to be single than to stay in a relationship with a guy who guilt trips you, uses threats of breaking up, or whatever, to get his way with you sexually.

If a guy does not respect your boundaries and wishes in the area of sexuality, break up with him!  Please stop wasting your time with him. You will eventually get another boyfriend later. There is nothing wrong with being single.

(Link): Teen Vogue’s Bizarre Anal Sex Article Shows Women Are Still Being Defined in Relation to Men

Excerpts:

The supposedly progressive piece, intended for teenage girls, refers to women as ‘non-prostate owners’, ignores the organ for female pleasure and fails to mention any potential dangers

Defining women by the men around them is an issue feminists have sought to address, and correct, for years.

…It would stand to reason that we could assume that in 2017 any work aimed at women would be sure to avoid such regressive patterns.

However, in (Link): Anal Sex: What You Need To Know for Teen Vogue, sex educator and feminist activist Gigi Engle managed to harp back to a time where women were defined by their relationship to men.

…Not only is any potential pleasure a woman may feel during anal sex reduced to the lack of male body parts (she is a “non-prostate owner”) but the clitoris, the actual hub of female sexual pleasure, has been removed. The lack of a male body part is the focus of what defines the female body, and what is actually there isn’t identified at all.

What is this teaching the audience of a magazine aimed at teenage girls? It tells them their identity is not “woman”, but rather “non-man”.

It tells them that should they consent to anal sex, their body is just a hole for the man to penetrate, and the part of their body that is most sensitive and reliable for the female orgasm is so irrelevant that it doesn’t even warrant a label.

It tells them that consenting to anal sex is not about their pleasure, but about their partner’s.

What it fails to tell them is the potential dangers of anal sex. The possibilities of fissures and tears which can become infected very easily due to contamination by faeces, severe enough to need surgery, or lead to anal abscesses which increase the chances of catching HIV.

By treating anal sex as an equivalent to vaginal sex, you increase the chances that your audience will not understand the potential damage they can do to their own or their partner’s body, and in turn increase their chances of becoming seriously ill.

(Link): Parents outraged over Teen Vogue anal sex how-to column (but magazine still defends it)

Teen Vogue is defending its decision to publish a graphic tutorial to anal sex for children and teenagers – (Link): calling critics homophobic.

“This is anal 101, for teens, beginners and all inquisitive folk,” author Gigi Engle wrote in “A Guide to Anal Sex.”

… (Link): The original article did not include any references to practicing safe sex – but was later amended to include a line about condoms being “non-negotiable.”

“Here is the lowdown on everything you need to know about butt stuff,” the writer declared.

Parents across the nation became enraged upon learning that Teen Vogue wanted to turn their children in sexual deviants.

CDC Releases New Report on American Teens and Sex: Here Are 4 Things You Need to Know

CDC Releases New Report on American Teens and Sex: Here Are 4 Things You Need to Know

(Link): CDC Releases New Report on American Teens and Sex: Here Are 4 Things You Need to Know

by Gryboski, Jun 22, 2017

The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention released a report Thursday regarding issues surrounding American teenagers and sexual activity.

Titled “Sexual Activity and Contraceptive Use Among Teenagers in the United States, 2011–2015,” the report was authored by Joyce C. Abma, Ph.D., and Gladys M. Martinez, Ph.D., of the Division of Vital Statistics.

Here are four things you need to know about the CDC report, including a trend in the rate of sexual activity, the use of emergency contraception, and racial disparities.

Decline in Sexual Activity

The newly released CDC report found that sexual activity among unmarried teenagers in the U.S. continues to be considerably lower than it was over a generation ago.

Why We Should Stop Telling Teens The “Friend Zone” Exists by M. Mercado

Why We Should Stop Telling Teens The “Friend Zone” Exists by M. Mercado

The following comes from a site that appears to be somewhat left wing in nature. As you may recall, I am moderately right wing, so I am not in total agreement with all views and presuppositions on this page, but I’d say I agree with about 98% of the views on this page:

(Link): Why We Should Stop Telling Teens The “Friend Zone” Exists by M. Mercado

Excerpts:

…. The “friend zone” has fallen time and time again under the heading of (Link): “Things I’ve Had Mansplained To Me.” It’s just one of the many complicated ways we’re taught to view relationships between men and women: Men and women (Link): “can’t be friends.” Men and women (Link): “can’t eat dinner alone together.”

It’s worth noting that the phrase “men and women can’t be friends” is often shorthand for “men and women can’t be friends because one of them is going to want to ~*get freaky*~ with the other and that ruins everything.”

…The “friend zone” insinuates that (Link): sex and relationships are transactional. It implies that if you do a certain number of nice favors or just believe yourself to be good, kind person, you are owed something in return. But let’s be very clear about this: Nothing entitles you to sex. Nothing entitles you to a relationship.

Teens Too Busy Playing Video Games to Have Sex

Teens Too Busy Playing Video Games to Have Sex

(Link): Teens Too Busy Playing Video Games to Have Sex

by Carl Campanile

April 16, 2017

Sure, New York City parents still worry about their teens having sex, drinking and smoking — but the kids are far more interested in smartphones and video games like Pokémon and Grand Theft Auto, a new survey has found.

Nearly half of city teens — 45.6 percent — spend at least three hours a day playing their computer or video games, according to the 2015 biennial Youth Risk Behavior Survey conducted by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.