How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life

How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life

(Link): How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life

The “solo” movement is quickly becoming popular, especially among women who are tired of being told they need to settle down.

Jan 19, 2022
By Joyann Jeffrey

It’s projected that 1 in 4 millennials will never tie the knot — and that’s absolutely OK. Recent studies show that getting married isn’t necessarily the key to happiness.

Single people tend to exercise more, have more friends and are more likely to volunteer in their communities than married folks.

That’s why Peter McGraw, a 51-year-old behavioral economist, started an online community known as (Link): the “solo” movement that celebrates single life and rewrites the misconception that “singles are sad and lonely.”

“Why is it that when you ask a married person, ‘Are you happy?’ and they say yes, you believe them,” he told TODAY’s Maria Shriver. “And then when someone asks a single person, ‘Are you happy?’ and they say yes, there’s still some doubt there? If someone says they’re happy, trust them — because there’s many ways to be happy in life.”

What is the “solo” movement?
This movement aims to enforce the notion that people can find happiness and fulfillment outside of marriage.

Continue reading “How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life”

Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps

Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps

(Link): Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps

Dating apps have made it easier than ever to find a partner. Paradoxically, the ease of finding matches means some remain perpetually single.

January 8, 2022
by Scotty Hendricks

Dating can be drudgery. The trouble of finding someone to date, going to a restaurant for a quasi-job interview, having to scrutinize everything they say for red flags like you’re trying to root out a communist agent, and then having to decide if the whole experience was enjoyable enough to do it again might make a person want to stay single forever.

Dating apps were supposed to make this easier by simplifying the first part: finding the potential mate.

With the swipe of a finger, you can search through eligible bachelors and bachelorettes all over the globe.

However, a forthcoming study in the American Economic Journal: Microeconomics suggests that the ease of using dating apps can, and does, cause some people to think that “the one” is merely one more swipe away — so they never actually go on a date.

Continue reading “Can’t Find “The One”? Blame Easy Dating Apps”

People Have Been Having Less Sex—whether They’re Teenagers or 40-Somethings

People Have Been Having Less Sex—whether They’re Teenagers or 40-Somethings

(Link): People Have Been Having Less Sex—whether They’re Teenagers or 40-Somethings

Excerpts:

Among the young, social media, gaming and “rough sex” may contribute to this trend

By Emily Willingham on January 3, 2022

…A recent study evaluating what is happening in the U.S. has added to the pile of evidence, showing declines from 2009 to 2018 in all forms of partnered sexual activity, including penile-vaginal intercourse, anal sex and partnered masturbation.

The findings show that adolescents report less solo masturbation as well.

The decreases “aren’t trivial,” as the authors wrote in the study, published on November 19 in Archives of Sexual Behavior.

Between 2009 and 2018, the proportion of adolescents reporting no sexual activity, either alone or with partners, rose from 28.8 percent to 44.2 percent among young men and from 49.5 percent in 2009 to 74 percent among young women. …

Continue reading “People Have Been Having Less Sex—whether They’re Teenagers or 40-Somethings”

What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up? By Kaitlyn Greenidge

What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up? By Kaitlyn Greenidge

(Link): What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up? By Kaitlyn Greenidge

Excerpts:

January 4, 2022

[The author discusses how she didn’t get married until around her late 30s, but then she got divorced, and she lives in a noisy home with many family members]

…What has not materialized is the intense loneliness that people warned me would come with divorce.

…It’s a different world from the one my parents inhabited when they divorced, one in which many people treated their separation as if it were an infectious disease and shunned us for a number of years.

…Marriage, of course, can be all those things to many people, but my own brought something different, which has led to this desire to be alone again.

Continue reading “What Does Marriage Ask Us to Give Up? By Kaitlyn Greenidge”

Can She Bake or Not? (Emma The Ex Friend – How Honest Is She?)

Can She Bake or Not? (Emma The Ex Friend – How Honest Is She?)

All names and identifying information have been changed in the post below, so as to keep people anonymous.


Emma – the ex friend of mine who (Link): got into a spat with me in October 2021, asked me to defriend her on social media (which I did) – told me once a few years ago that she cannot bake.

She told me she cannot use an oven.

By the way, I’ve since discovered that this Emma person has blocked me on at least one social media platform, not sure about the other.

She had no reason to block me, as I have not tried to contact her at either account, nor have I “tagged” her. (I can still see her content to her account if I log out to view it.)

I did visit one of her social media accounts a few times up to late December 2021.

Emma found me years ago via my Twitter account and this blog, where she saw posts I had already made about problems I had with friends and family of mine, and my ex fiance.

Emma approached me wanting to know if she could be friends with me (not vice versa).
She spent several months asking me if she could know me better, asking if I would friend her on Facebook, but I was very reluctant to do that but finally gave in after months and months of her asking me.

“Emma” (not her real name), last I checked in December 2021, is still posting a lot of politically argumentative type content on her social media, but I noticed that she had an exchange with a lady about a recipe at that time, as well.

Let’s say the recipe was for home-made muffins (it was not, it was for something else. I am changing details or omitting them in this post so as to keep Emma anonymous).

Some lady posted a photo of some new muffin recipe she had tried, and Emma gushed to her about how delicious it looked, and she wished she had the recipe.

So, the lady responded by linking her to the muffin recipe.

I clicked on the muffin recipe, and in at least two of the several steps, it mentions pre-heating an oven, putting the muffins in the oven, then taking the muffins out of the oven briefly to pour in more ingredients, then putting the muffins back into the oven to let them finish cooking.

Emma then informed this woman she was looking forward to trying this recipe herself – so I take it that Emma will be baking these muffins in an oven?

I find this very odd, because a few years ago (this was probably around 2017 or 2018), when Emma told me her depression had gotten really bad, I wrote back, told her I was sorry to hear that, and I told her, you know, when I had clinical depression for over 30 years, and especially in the years after my mother died, I found that baking cookies lessened my depression at least for a little while.

Emma wrote me back years ago at that time and told me, “Oh, I can’t bake like you do! I can’t use an oven! It’s due to my hand injuries.”

Well, first of all, when I told her that I had tried baking (and jogging, bike riding, and other techniques) to manage my depression, I was not necessarily suggesting that she herself try baking, bike riding, and so on, but I knew even back then that she was apparently not doing enough to manage her depression.

Emma chooses (yes, it’s a choice she’s making) to spend a lot of time in passive activities, such as being on social media and watching television.

And spending a lot of time in front of screens will make depression worse, if a person has depression.

If you have depression, it is vital you take breaks from screens.

Get out of the house, go on a walk, play frisbee with your pet dog, meet a friend in person for a cup of coffee – that sort of thing.

Continue reading “Can She Bake or Not? (Emma The Ex Friend – How Honest Is She?)”

Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay


Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay

In the last two months, I’ve seen two different editorials from conservative site The Federalist in support of marriage (or parenthood).

I’m a conservative. I am not in opposition to marriage or people choosing to have children.

My issue with other conservatives is that they are so paranoid of liberals and assume all liberals are anti-marriage and anti-parenthood to the degree that they leave no room for nuance, meaning, that unfortunately, many pro-marriage and pro-parenthood conservatives end up “trash talking” singleness and the state of being childless (or being childfree).

I’m a conservative woman who has never married, and I’ve never had children, yet I do not hate marriage or married people having children, and I am so tired of these conservative authors or pundits feeling it necessary to put down single or childless adults like myself in their quest to defend marriage and natalism – conservative single adults like myself get caught in the cross-fire.

If you are a conservative who believes too many liberals are anti-marriage or anti-parenthood, and you want to speak out in favor of either station, that’s fine with me, but as a single, childless, conservative woman, I do get very hacked off and offended to read these conservative articles and editorials whose authors assume that any and all single and childless (or childfree) adults are awful, selfish, anti-family, weird, under-developed, or jerks.

Not every one in the United States today who is single past the age of 30, or who is childless or is childfree, is a feminist, a liberal, a progressive, pro-abortion, Democrat, or anti-family.

So, to my fellow conservatives, stop assuming that all single adults who remain single by choice OR by circumstance, or who are childless or childfree, are terrible, selfish, or are baby-hating progressives.

There is ZERO NEED to defend or promote marriage by talking in a derogatory manner about singleness or the state of being childless or childfree.

Make your case in favor of marriage or natalism without resorting to insulting all single adults, or assuming and making the false case that all single adults hate marriage, hate babies, or vote Democrat.

Here is the first of two recent pro-marriage or pro-natalism editorials at conservative site The Federalist  that manage to work in insults and slams against single adults or singleness itself – which is totally shameful and unnecessary!

(Link):  Joy Behar Accidentally Admits Social Conservatives Were Right About Sex

Pertinent Excerpts:

BY: NATHANAEL BLAKE
December 10, 2021

… In particular, large numbers of unattached men are bad for society; having a family encourages men to be productive and protective, rather than idle drones or predators.
— end excerpts —

I mean, really? It’s not necessary or fair to refer to or describe men who remain single as being “idle drones or predators.”

I have a long-running list of news headlines at my blog (in this post) of married men (some who even work as church pastors) who were arrested for wife abuse, making child porn, or raping children.

Serial killer John Wayne Gacy was married to a woman, had two biological children by her, but he went on to rape and murder over two dozen young men. Did marriage and fatherhood make Gacy more “loving” and “giving?” No, no it did not.

Marriage does not stop a man from being “a predator.”

Continue reading “Authors at The Federalist Keep Bashing Singleness in the Service of Promoting Marriage – Which Is Not Okay”

Where the Sexual Revolution Went Wrong by Maria Albano

Where the Sexual Revolution Went Wrong by Maria Albano

I don’t think I agree with all of the views in the following editorial; I may be omitting most of the portions I’m not sure I agree with.

(Link): Where the Sexual Revolution Went Wrong

Sex is now at the centre of everything. That’s not liberating – it’s oppressive.

by Maria Albano
December 20, 2021

…But have the freedoms ushered in by the sexual revolution of the 1960s been wholly beneficial?

…Over the past decade, a healthy embrace of sex as an everyday part of human living has morphed, Fifty Shades of Grey-style, into the pursuit of ever more extreme sexual exploits, including painful, or sometimes even deadly, sex.

In the name of sex positivity, youths are handed sex-work toolkits as part of their £9,250-a-year undergraduate packages.

And young people’s minds are increasingly being polluted by pornography, a problem both pop singer Billie Eilish and children’s charity Barnardo’s have recently drawn attention to.

Indeed, exposure to pornography has been proven over and over again to compromise young people’s early sexual experiences, sometimes even paving the way for abuse. Yet still porn ambushes children at every turn.

Until not so long ago, sex was kept out of sight. If you wanted to seek out sexually explicit imagery, you’d have to look for it in the X-rated section of a shady video store.

But no more.

Continue reading “Where the Sexual Revolution Went Wrong by Maria Albano”

What is a Platonic Life Partnership? These Couples are Breaking Societal Relationship Norms

What is a Platonic Life Partnership? These Couples are Breaking Societal Relationship Norms

(Link): What is a Platonic Life Partnership? These Couples are Breaking Societal Relationship Norms

(Link): Read a Copy of the Same Piece on Yahoo News Here

January 4, 2022
by Sara M Moniuszko, USA TODAY

For Jay Guercio, 24, a platonic life partnership “just made sense” after realizing how much her life goals aligned with her best friend Krystle, who she first met in 2012 and had filled her life with “companionship, love, laughter and adventure.”

…Guercio describes a platonic partnership as “a committed relationship to someone that doesn’t involve romance or sex.”

Cyndi Darnell, a certified clinical sexologist, therapist and couple’s counselor, says platonic partnerships can “absolutely” be as successful as a traditional marriage, because “partnership is based on shared values.”

Continue reading “What is a Platonic Life Partnership? These Couples are Breaking Societal Relationship Norms”

What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers – Critique: Some Christians Marketing Sexual Abstinence as “Purity in Jesus”

What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers – Critique: Some Christians Marketing Sexual Abstinence as “Purity in Jesus”

I have a lot of commentary to make below this long article, because one of the topics I discuss below is one aspect that bugs me when reading how Christians have been addressing the topic of sexual abstinence and fornication for the past decade or so:

(Link): What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers

By Nicole Alcindor, December 20, 2021

While many Christians are taught that premarital sex and cohabitation aren’t advisable for many reasons, a growing number of single believers are following secular society’s model instead of the biblical model. 

In the most recent episode of “Challenging Conversations” on the edifi podcast network, host Jason Jimenez, who’s also a pastor and founder of Stand Strong Ministries, was joined by apologist Sean McDowell to discuss why some 60% of professing Christians believe cohabitation and sex outside of marriage are OK.

Jimenez said he and McDowell, who hosts classes on premarital sex and marriage at Summit Ministries, wanted to speak truth in love, as Ephesians 4:15 says, and began the discussion by reading what the Biblical Counseling Coalition says about sex outside of marriage:

[P]remarital cohabitation has become common in the Church because many Christians have made today’s secular values their own. Our society cherishes ‘trying before buying,’ convenience at any cost, sex without rules, companionship without commitment, and relationship without responsibility — everything premarital cohabitation provides. Instead of questioning such values — if not downright opposing them — countless Christians have adopted them. It’s no wonder so many of them are living together before tying the knot.

Speaking about the saturation of unbiblical ideas about sex, pornography and relationships that Gen Zers and youth are exposed to, McDowell noted that, unlike the 1980s and ’90s when exposure was limited to select movies, MTV and a few other sources, today, youth have easy access to porn and are inundated with unhealthy messages.  

Continue reading “What’s Wrong With PreMarital Sex, Cohabitation and Watching Porn? Apologist Sean McDowell Answers – Critique: Some Christians Marketing Sexual Abstinence as “Purity in Jesus””

Lundy Bancroft on Narcissists vs Abusers for The Audacious Life podcast

Lundy Bancroft on Narcissists vs Abusers for The Audacious Life podcast

The first half to two thirds of this video of what the speakers describe, how they describe the typical views of abusive men, is reminiscent of some Christian Gender Complementarians and their views, and what some complementarian adherents believe.

Especially if you are a Christian single woman who’s wanting to marry AND in particular you were raised by Christian parents or in a church that taught traditional gender roles (perhaps under the phrase or label of “gender complementarianism“) please pay special attention to the video below.

Under “gender complementarian” teachings (and just mainstream, evangelical or Baptist and Christian dating advice), Christian women have been taught to accept all sorts of toxic teachings and to accept on-going mistreatment from a spouse (and from other people in their lives).

Chances are good that if you’re a single Christian woman who was brought up to believe in gender complementarian teachings that you were heavily encouraged to adopt people pleasing or codependent behaviors, beliefs, and attitudes, which will make you attractive to abusers and people with personality disorders (many of whom can be abusive).

Additionally, if you do marry an abusive person (whether he is emotionally, sexually, verbally, or physically abusive) the majority of Christian churches and denominations teach women that divorce is not an option, not even in cases of abuse.

You (if you’re an abused wife asking a Christian for advice or help in regards to your marriage) will usually be told just to “submit more,” give your spouse more sex, and to pray about it – but none of those methods will change your spouse or cause him to stop abusing you.

There is nothing you can say or do that will get your husband to stop abusing you – (Link): nor is it your responsibility to try to fix or change your spouse in the first place.

You have to go into a marriage to a self professing Christian man knowing before-hand  that if your spouse turns abusive, that you must eventually divorce the guy, and you most likely won’t get any help or encouragement in that area from your church, church group, church friends, or pastor.

Most churches and pastors will shame, pressure, and guilt trip an abused wife to stay in the abusive marriage at all costs, because they value the institution of marriage above the safety and mental health of the abused wife.

If you’re a Christian woman in an abusive marriage, your church, church friends, and your preacher will never, ever give you permission to divorce – but you don’t need their permission or approval – you just need your own. It’s your life, not theirs.

(Link – to video on You Tube): Lundy Bancroft on Narcissists vs Abusers for The Audacious Life podcast

Excerpts, video description (from text below the video on the You Tube page):

I’m happy to interview Lundy Bancroft, author, and expert on male abuse behaviors and tactics.

Lundy has 30 years experience working in the field of abuse. His book “Why Does He Do That” is a one of the first I read and it helped tremendously.

Lundy is a lifelong advocate for the safety of women and children and it shines through in his books. You may be wondering whether you’re in a relationship with a Narcissist or an Abuser or someone who’s both.

Continue reading “Lundy Bancroft on Narcissists vs Abusers for The Audacious Life podcast”

HBO Max’s ‘Sex and the City’ Reboot Also Revives Outdated Marriage Tropes by M. Weldon

HBO Max’s ‘Sex and the City’ Reboot Also Revives Outdated Marriage Tropes by M. Weldon

(Link): HBO Max’s ‘Sex and the City’ Reboot Also Revives Outdated Marriage Tropes 

The televised pursuit of fictional and real-life dating partners is an outdated cultural obsession.

By 

…There were many emotionally — and sexually — dangerous encounters over the original six seasons of “SATC” from 1998 to 2004; 10.6 million people tuned in for the finale, which was spun off into feature-length movies. But through all the adventures, and misadventures, the overall goal stayed mostly the same: find a male soul mate and settle down.

This mate hunt has always seemed like a strangely reductive life goal for confident women. But in 2021, it feels sorely outdated.

Continue reading “HBO Max’s ‘Sex and the City’ Reboot Also Revives Outdated Marriage Tropes by M. Weldon”

Acceptance (vs. Denial, Anger, or Should-ing) – Helps in Healing and Getting Through Painful Events and Dealing With Things You Cannot Change

Acceptance (vs. Denial, Anger, or Should-ing) – Helps in Healing and Getting Through Painful Events and Dealing With Things You Cannot Change

Disclaimer: All names have been changed in the post below to keep people’s identities anonymous.


One of the things I’ve noticed in the last few years is that when I’ve accepted a situation, whether something current or something from years ago that once bothered me a lot, is that it speeds up the recovery process.

I used to hold on tightly to people or dreams or hopes. In the last few years, I’ve gotten better at Letting Go.

(I’ve not arrived at perfection at this, but I have improved a lot in the last couple of years.)

Instead of constantly regretting, feeling sad or angry about a past incident, or that my life is not where I want it to be now, I’ve learned to accept my past and present, and that has definitely been good for my mental health – and I’m more able to enjoy each day as it is, instead of sitting around angry or upset that things aren’t how I had hoped or planned.

I don’t get as upset by set backs as I once did.

Continue reading “Acceptance (vs. Denial, Anger, or Should-ing) – Helps in Healing and Getting Through Painful Events and Dealing With Things You Cannot Change”