What do Female Incels Really Want? By Kaitlyn Tiffany

What do Female Incels Really Want? By Kaitlyn Tiffany

(Link): What do Female Incels Really Want?

Excerpts:

By Kaitlyn Tiffany
May 12, 2022

“We were all ugly,” Amanda, a 22-year-old student from Florida told me, recalling the online community she found when she was 18. “Men didn’t like us, guys didn’t want to be with us, and it was fine to acknowledge it.”

This Reddit forum was called r/Trufemcels, and she commented there under the username “strangeanduglygrl.” Amanda didn’t post very often, but she checked in every day on the community of self-identified “femcels,” or involuntarily celibate women. (I agreed to refer to her by her first name only, to separate her current life from her former internet identity.)

They came to complain about the superficiality of men and the privilege of pretty women, and to share their experiences moving through the world in an unattractive body, which therefore disadvantaged them romantically, socially, and economically.

They were finding the modern dating landscape—the image-based apps, the commodified dating “market,” the illusory “freedom” to be found in hookup culture—to be unnavigable, and they talked about taking a “pink pill,” and opening their eyes to the reality that society was misogynistic and “lookist.”

Mom Dumped in Son’s Hockey Bag Allegedly Had Affair With Handyman Accused of Killing Her: Police

Mom Dumped in Son’s Hockey Bag Allegedly Had Affair With Handyman Accused of Killing Her: Police 

Not saying this woman ‘deserved’ to be murdered by this guy she had the affair with, but if she hadn’t have had an affair, maybe this would not have happened to her.

So… does being married make a person immune from sexual sin? Why no, it does not. Does being married make a person more godly, responsible, or ethical (as many hyper pro marriage advocates teach, such as Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox)? Nope, it does not.

This news story, and ones like it, also betray a common Christian teaching that married sex is so totally awesome (especially if you wait until marriage to have sex) that you will never, ever seek sex outside the marriage. Obviously, that is not so, because I frequently see news stories of married people who commit adultery.

I do feel very bad for her children – they will be without a mother now.

(Link):  David Bonola, suspected handyman lover, charged in Orsolya Gaal murder

April 21, 2022

The handyman lover of Queens mom Orsolya Gaal was charged Thursday with her murder – and police said he committed the “horrendous” crime during a fight her over their recently-ended on-off affair of two years.

David Bonola, 44, was already on the NYPD’s radar Wednesday evening when officers canvassing for surveillance video spotted him near the crime scene and took him back to the 112th precinct.

There, Bonola made “incriminating statements” about the slaying, NYPD Chief of Detectives James Essig said at a press conference.

He was charged with murder, criminal tampering and criminal possession of a weapon for allegedly stabbing Gaal, 51, nearly 60 times in the basement of her Forest Hills home with a kitchen knife early on Saturday, cops said.

…Bonola, who cops said has no prior arrests, was “a handyman who was employed by Mrs. Gaal” for about two years — and during that time they had “an intimate affair,” Essig revealed Thursday.

They had re-sparked their on-off affair earlier this month, just to break up again — and Bonola “came back … to speak about the relationship again,” added Chief Julie Morrill, who led the investigation.

(Link): Mom dumped in son’s hockey bag allegedly had affair with handyman accused of killing her: Police

Orsolya Gaal, 51, was stabbed dozens of times, according to police.

by Emily Shapiro

A New York City mother found stabbed to death inside a duffel bag was allegedly killed by a handyman she’d been having an off-and-on affair with for two years, the NYPD said.

The suspect, David Bonola, was arrested just before 1 a.m. Thursday, days after he allegedly dumped Orsolya Gaal‘s body in her son’s hockey bag, police said at a news conference Thursday.

More Couples Enjoying Open Relationships Because They’re ‘Bored With Each Other’

More Couples Enjoying Open Relationships Because They’re ‘Bored With Each Other’

(Link): More couples enjoying open relationships because they’re ‘bored with each other’

April 13, 2022
By James Somper, The Sun

Open relationships have soared since the pandemic as couples grow bored with each other, a sex expert is claiming.

Romantic burnout caused by spending too much time together during lockdowns has been blamed for lackluster lovers starting to stray.

Sex therapist Dr. Tammy Nelson reported a 45 percent leap in inquiries about discussing the subject with partners in recent months.

Why Men Have More Orgasms Than Women by David Ludden (Hint: Male Entitlement is Involved. Notify Every Christian Gender Complementarian, Christian Patriarchalist, MRA, and Incel Ever)

Why Men Have More Orgasms Than Women by David Ludden (Hint: Male Entitlement is Involved. Notify Every Christian Gender Complementarian, Christian Patriarchalist, MRA, and Incel Ever)

The essay below, which references studies, mentions that male entitlement plays a role in why hetero men orgasm more in sex with women than women do.

This should be an eye-opener to every sexist, hetero man ever, including the sex-obsessed, marriage-obsessed, Christian gender complementarian and Christian Patriarchy rat bastards who already hold a lot of false beliefs about women and sex, such as,
“Only men want sex; women hate sex, women are not visually oriented and just want emotional connection, therefore, husbands unfortunately have to always nag their wives into having sex!”

(Link): Why Men Have More Orgasms Than Women – Real Clear Science

Full article on…

(Link): Why Men Have More Orgasms Than Women – Psychology Today

Some portions below in bold face added by me for emphasis:

by David Ludden –  Psychology Today
February 13, 2022

Key Points:

• • It’s commonly thought that men orgasm more easily than women due to biology, but research doesn’t support this contention.
  • Men are enculturated with a sense of entitlement, and this may play out in the bedroom as well.
  • Research shows that both men and women believe men are more entitled to have orgasms.

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It’s common knowledge that men are more likely than women to orgasm during a sexual encounter. This is true in both casual affairs and long-term relationships. But why this is the case is not clear.

…It’s Not About Biology
As University of Michigan psychologists Verena Klein and Terri Conley point out in an article they recently published (Link): in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, this argument doesn’t hold water. First, there’s nothing about the clitoris to suggest that it’s less likely to produce orgasms than the penis since both have the same concentration of nerve endings.

Furthermore, women are capable of having multiple orgasms in short secession. In contrast, men are limited in the number of orgasms they can have within a given time period.

For reasons that are still unknown but highly debated, men experience a refractory period after each ejaculation, so multiple orgasms are out of the question. Given these facts, it seems that women should be having way more orgasms than men, not the other way around.

Since they ruled out biological reasons, Klein and Conley considered whether the gendered sexual pleasure gap could be explained by social attitudes about sex. They note that in Western society, men are taught to feel more entitled, whereas women are trained to act more deferential.

Christlike or Pornlike? A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage

Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage by Andrew J. Bauman and Taylor May

(Link): Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage

Excerpts:

by Andrew J. Bauman

I am proud to be writing this article in partnership with Taylor May, a survivor of emotional and spiritual abuse. She has boldly shared her own story about what it was like to be married to someone who had a Pornographic Style of Relating, (PSR) and what it felt like to be used by him with her Church’s consent.

*Trigger warning for those who have suffered this type of betrayal trauma.

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I’ve written about the pornographic style of relating here (PSR), but today we will hear from the perspective of a woman who has lived on the other side of this dynamic.

Many people have been talking about this with the release of this new book [Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life by Gary Thomas] and some of its disturbing implications.

How can we talk about what these women are experiencing, and what can we learn from them?

Taylor May has offered her story and her experience below. My hope is that this can begin to clear up the muddy waters of what it means to live a Christlike marriage in a deeply pornified world.

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by Taylor May

I didn’t realize how a pornographic style of relating was so deeply embedded into my first marriage until I was firmly planted into my second marriage.

That’s when I began to see the impact my first husband’s issue with lust had on my new, much healthier relationship.

Let me tell you my story, and how I and countless other women feel when our significant others lust for other women, on-screen or off.

Those of us who grew up in the evangelical Church have been told that we are responsible for men’s lust issues. This lie has been perpetrated by the church for far too long.

Many men are leading our church conversations with 90% of pastors being men, and considering that nearly 50% of those pastors self-report having used pornography, it would make sense that they would try to gaslight women by minimizing the destructive nature of porn use.

One way they do this is by framing it as a women’s issue or a sex issue, rather than the objectification of women/sin issue–one that stems from the person doing the objectifying.

Serial Killer Who Lured Victims on Dating Apps for Sex Is Caught Through Sting Operation, Sentenced to 160 Years

Serial Killer Who Lured Victims on Dating Apps for Sex Is Caught Through Sting Operation, Sentenced to 160 Years

(Link): NJ serial killer who murdered women he met for sex sentenced to 160 years

(Link): New Jersey Serial Killer Who Lured Women on Dating Apps Sentenced to 160 Years in Prison

….Prosecutors say the man [Khalil Wheeler-Weaver] had used a fake dating profile to lure and kill his victims: 20-year-old Sarah Butler, 19-year-old Robin West, and 33-year-old Joanne Brown.

Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)

Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)

I’ve read quite a bit about this “Sex Rescue” book, and it covers a lot of the topics I’ve been covering on this blog literally for years now.

Christians – especially the gender complementarians – operate under a faulty assumption that only men like and want sex, while women do not – so most of their sex lectures and sex material gives all sorts of sexist, awful advice, or tells Christians that women only have “emotional needs,” while women’s sexual preferences are never raised. 

Every pastor I’ve ever heard sermonize about the topic just tells men to occasionally cater to their wife’s emotional needs, but they don’t bring up what a woman may want sexually.

The Christian assumption is that all men are sex-crazed horn dogs, and the wives are obligated to have sex with their spouses, even if they are sick or not in the mood, etc.

I’ve discussed all that on this blog for years (and more), and this book apparently also discusses such issues.

(Link): Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue

Excerpts:

by Rachel Joy Welcher
June 3, 2021

The Great Sex Rescue sets out to correct harmful and unbiblical teachings on sex and marriage—specifically those messages perpetuated by the evangelical church and popular Christian books.

Not only that, it presents a way forward for couples who have suffered from these messages; a path that is guided by scripture and selfless love. 

…Sheila Wray Gregoire, along with her daughter, author and psychology graduate, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and epidemiologist and statistician, Joanna Sawatsky, bravely tackle these harmful teachings, with a high view of marriage, God’s plan for sex, and for scripture.

You may not agree with every conclusion or piece of advice, but this is a resource we need as we continue to deconstruct unbiblical teachings on sex, purity, and marriage. 

Welcher: It is clear from your writings that you care about female sexual flourishing; that you don’t want women left behind in marriage.
In The Great Sex Rescue, you cite example after example from popular Christian books where male sexual pleasure in marriage is prioritized and women are discussed merely as vehicles to accomplish this, rather than as equal sexual partners.
Why do you think the mutuality of sexual self-giving in marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:4–5 has largely been ignored in Christian writings and teachings on marriage?
Were you able to trace this idea to a specific book, era, or misinterpretation of the passage?

Gregoire: Let’s talk numbers: women buy the books, and men don’t. I’ve read that 74% of nonfiction relationship books are bought and read by women.
Why don’t men buy these books? Men often don’t feel the same societal pressure to fix relationships, while men are also discouraged from thinking about their feelings very much.

Florida Man with HIV Sentenced to Two Years for Not Informing Sexual Partners

Florida Man with HIV Sentenced to Two Years for Not Informing Sexual Partners

(Link): Florida Man with HIV Sentenced to Two Years for Not Informing Sexual Partners

July 24, 2021
by Amy Furr

A man in Port Orange, Florida, has been sentenced to two years in prison for not telling his sexual partners he was infected with HIV.

“Gentry Burns, 27, pleaded no contest Thursday to one count of uninformed HIV-infected sexual intercourse. Two other counts were dropped,” WESH (Link): reported.

Burns was initially charged in 2019 once an ex-girlfriend stepped forward with information that he was having sex with other women and apparently not telling them he was infected.
He will be put on probation for 12 months following his release from prison, the outlet stated.

How Evangelical Teachings Ruin Sex and Marriage For Many Women by L. Blair

How Evangelical Teachings Ruin Sex and Marriage For Many Women by L. Blair

Some of the issues discussed in this article and in her book are ones I’ve brought up on this blog over the years.

There is so much hypocrisy in Christianity, usually hypocrisy that works out in favor of men and to the detriment of women, especially in “gender complementarian” teachings.

Some of these teachings about marital sex, or marriage generally, can be directly or indirectly derogatory towards single, celibate adults (e.g., some Christians teach that having sexual intercourse is “necessary to know God,” while some preachers teach that to fulfill your purpose in life, you must marry.)

Here is the article about the book:

(Link): How Evangelical Teachings Ruin Sex and Marriage For Many Women

Excerpts:

By Leonardo Blair, Christian Post Reporter 

Evangelical blogger Sheila Wray Gregoire doesn’t care if her critics want to brand her a feminist. She wants the Church to know that “sex is for women too,” and ignoring that point can ruin sex, orgasms and marriages for women. 

New research shows that many evangelical women are unsatisfied in the bedroom due to some evangelical beliefs, and that’s the big takeaway Gregoire wants readers to get as she stages a scholarly intervention in her new book, The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended. 

The New Summer of Love: ‘People are Desperate to Have Sex – It’s Been A Long Year’ by A. Jones

 The New Summer of Love: ‘People are Desperate to Have Sex – It’s Been A Long Year’

Why are people so sex obsessed?

I’m not going to copy the whole article here to my blog, but one thing I noticed about it is that a lot of people quoted in the article are women – and they are women who talked about how much they miss having sex and would like to be having sex again.

That is definitely against moronic Christian gender complementarian teachings and assumptions that only men want sex. Complementarians assume all women lack a libido.

(Link):  The New Summer of Love: ‘People are Desperate to Have Sex – It’s Been A Long Year’

Whether single, curious or just plain horny, many people are planning to make the most of life after lockdowns. Are we ready to get up close and personal?

by A. Jones
June 5, 2021

he past year has changed 35-year-old Georgie’s outlook on dating. Several disappointing socially distanced dates and limp text exchanges meant she stopped using dating apps at the beginning of 2021.

And now her parents have been vaccinated, she feels confident about returning to physical dates, “but not to the apps”, she says. “As things open up, I’m going to lean into spontaneity; I’m going to say yes to every invitation and seize every opportunity. If I feel a connection with someone at a social gathering, a festival or even a bus stop, I’ll go and talk to them. I’m going to be way more carpe fucking diem about it.”

Dear Therapist: My Husband and I Don’t Have Sex Anymore

Dear Therapist: My Husband and I Don’t Have Sex Anymore

~INTRODUCTION (the letter from the sexless marriage lady to the therapist is below)~
Even today, some Christians run around (from what I’ve seen online) making this bogus promise that if people just wait until marriage to have sex, that the sex will be great, and it will be regular.
(This is something Christians did back in the 1980s and 1990s, and they are still doing this today in 2021 – maybe not as much(?), but it definitely still happens on occasion.)

A lot of Christians (and secular conservatives) shame and insult adults who do not have children. They have this false Gospel that The Nuclear Family will save mankind – as in culture, a nation, etc (parenthood and marriage are also included in this).

Well, every so often, I see people write in to advice columnists to say they are in sexless marriages, and quite a few of them say they are unhappy being in a sexless marriage.

Even more interesting is that many of those writing in to the columnists are WOMEN.
As in, these women like sex and want to be having more sex, but their husband, for whatever reason, is totally not into having sex.
Why mention this? Because a lot of idiot Gender Complementarian Christians have this false stereotype that women don’t want sex – they think only men want sex.

Just keep all that in mind as you are reading this, and please check out the links at the bottom, under “Related Posts.”

(Link): Dear Therapist: My Husband and I Don’t Have Sex Anymore

Excerpts:

by L. Gottlieb
June 22, 2019

“I miss the closeness we had before our baby was born.”

Dear Therapist,

[Woman writes in to say she and her husband had a great romance, and after a few months, moved in together. They were engaged, married about two years later, and she got pregnant]

….Our sex was always good before I got pregnant. When our baby was born, my husband had postnatal depression and I had to keep everything together. I was finding it hard inside, but just had to act strong for the both of us. That really put a strain on our marriage.

Our beautiful baby boy is now 15 months old and we never have sex. Our son has just started to sleep through the night, and I think we have gotten so used to taking care of our son at night and not having sex that now it feels so awkward.

My Husband Won’t Take His Mask Off – Not Even For Sex by T. Bosch

My Husband Won’t Take His Mask Off – Not Even For Sex by T. Bosch

Anyone out there who thinks snarking at another adult over the age of 21 that “you’re probably a virgin” (as though having sex is a mark of maturity or adulthood, ie, using sexual activity or lack thereof as an insult), needs to reconsider that in light of the stupid sex-related things that people who do have sex do. Such as…

(Link): My Husband Won’t Take His Mask Off – Not Even For Sex

We’re both vaccinated now. When will this stop?

Dear Prudence,

I have been married to a great guy for five and a half years. He is handsome, sexy, funny, and kind.

It’s true that he has always been a little “prissy” about illnesses, but I never thought it was a real problem.

However, during the pandemic, his terror about getting sick has reached new levels.

For the last year, he has refused to take off his face mask, even when we are at home—just the two of us. This is true even now that he is fully vaccinated for the virus.

He wears it to sleep, to do most of his bathroom activities, and, yes, even during lovemaking.