Sex ‘Highly Important’ to a Quarter of Middle-Aged Women, Study Shows

Sex ‘Highly Important’ to a Quarter of Middle-Aged Women, Study Shows

Christian gender complementarians need to get with the program – first and foremost, toss complementarianism in the trash can where it belongs – but secondly, toss out the sexist, strange, or unbiblical beliefs they have about women’s libidos.

Complementarians enjoy living in a fantasy world where they falsely believe that only men want and enjoy sex, and that women don’t enjoy or want sex. This alleviates them of taking responsibility for pleasing women in the bedroom, I suspect.

(Link): Sex ‘Highly Important’ to a Quarter of Middle-Aged Women, Study Shows

Excerpts:

Sept 2020
by Chris Melore

CLEVELAND, Ohio — There’s a common belief that people lose interest in sex as they age. A new study finds this isn’t exactly true for many middle-aged women.

Researchers say sex still remains important to the daily lives of over 70 percent of women entering midlife.

The North American Menopause Society (NAMS) shows 27 percent of women continue to rate sex as a high priority throughout midlife. The report looks at more than 3,200 participants in the Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation.

Pastor Quits Church To Become a Stripper and Now Sells X-Rated Pics and Videos Online

Pastor Quits Church To Become a Stripper and Now Sells X-Rated Pics and Videos Online

Before I get to the link about the woman pastor who left pastoring to be a sex kitten on line:

I never, ever want to hear another Christian woman complain on a blog, in a book, a podcast, or on social media that the church “values virginity or sexual abstinence too much,” nor do I need or want to hear any more women talk about how much Christian sexual abstinence pep talks comparing non-virgins to “used chewing gum” made them feel icky.

Because the times have changed.

It’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly when the change happened, but sometime in the last 10 to 20 years, the Christian community stopped supporting sexual abstinence, and they’ve never truly supported adult virgins who remain single over the age of 30.

(They only gave lip service to supporting anyone who is a virgin / celibate, but in practice, they aren’t there for the sexually abstinent; they’re only there to serve the married-with-children people.)

We are living in quite the opposite age now.

The culture has changed. Most people, including Christians and churches, no longer support celibacy and virginity – but rather mock or insult these things. 

In light of the news stories like the one below, or about how, what is it, 70% of (Link): Christian American women comprise abortion seekers, or how up to half or more of the church see (Link):  nothing wrong with unmarried sex, any Christians out there (especially women – it’s usually women, seldom men) who complain that the church emphasizes virginity or sexual purity too much – are quite full of sh*t and have things totally backwards.

The church now openly supports sexual hedonism, and they shame or question adults who remain virgins until marriage.

Are there double standards, sexism, and problems within “Purity Culture” and how sexual purity is taught, or are there problems with the content of it? Yes, certainly.

But none of those issues suddenly excuse extra-marital sex as being fine and dandy.  And the Bible does not support extra-marital diddling.

You can criticize some of the excesses, sexism, or weirdness of Purity Culture and its teachings without completely tossing aside the principles of sexual propriety or without criticizing, shaming, or mocking those adults who are still virgins or celibate.

A word of warning: I am an (Link): ex-complementarian. But as someone who realized complementarianism was false and abandoned it, I did not become a liberal or embrace sexual hedonism as a result.

I disagree with this woman’s lifestyle who is mentioned below. Rejecting complementarianism does not automatically or necessarily turn a woman into a liberal, feminist, bimbo harlot.

I’m putting this warning in here, because the article mentions the woman in the article became a stripper after joining a church that was more egalitarian in regards to gender roles.

I would imagine a lot of complementarians would see that part of the article and say, or reason to themselves, “A-ha, this is what happens when a woman rejects Christian gender complementarianism!” – but alas, no, it is not.

Again, I rejected complementarianism many years ago, but I did not turn into a sexual hedonist or a bi-sexual stripper.

Another warning: If you’re a Christian, stop assuming that the reason why some leave the Christian faith is because they want to live in sexual hedonism.

Some people leave the faith not to indulge in sexual sin, which is a common and false assumption a lot of Christians have, but due to other reasons, ones having nothing to do with sexual sins, or going after some goal or dream in life that may be considered incompatible with the Bible.

People do have legitimate reasons for questioning the faith, ones that don’t have to do with wanting to be kinky. 

There may be some people for whom wanting to be lascivious is one (or a main) motive in leaving the faith, but that is not true for all.

Additional comments by me are below this:

(Link): Pastor Quits Church To Become a Stripper and Now Sells X-Rated Pics and Videos Online 

Nikole Mitchell, a mum-of-three, said she has always wanted to become an erotic dancer but she was brought up in a strict Christian family which put a damper on her dreams

by L. King

She has now come out as bisexual and carved a new career as a stripper, model and erotic dancer.

The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men

The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men & That Women Are Oblivious To, or Don’t Care About, What Men Look Like

I am an ex-complementarian (yes, I am, read more about that (Link): here if you so choose).

I’m very aware of what complementarians teach and believe on many topics.

Many complementarians wrongly believe that women lack sexual drive, an interest in sex, and that women don’t care about what men look like.

Complementarians operate in this very strange worldview that only men are “visual.” The Bible does not teach that God created men to be visual or to have more of a sex drive than women, but Complementarians act as though it does. These views permeate their blogs, pod casts, books, sermons, and so on.

So, under complementarian teachings, women are often shamed and scolded about their physical appearance.

I’ve seldom heard complementarians tell male listeners or male readers to join a gym, work out, and get in shape so that they will be physically and visually appealing to women.

(Edit, Side Note:
Complementarians seem to assume that all single women are only interested in a man’s bank account. No, we’re not.

But there’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry a guy who has a steady job, steady pay check, who is financially responsible.

I was engaged to a man who took financial advantage of me for years. Most women I know were dating or married to men who refused to get jobs, so the women had to earn a pay check.

These women’s husbands would sit about the house all day in their underpants playing Playstation video games or watching sports.

I’ve never personally run across too many female gold diggers in my time, only one – the rest of the gold diggers I’ve met or known personally have been MEN who were leeching off their wives or girlfriends.

At any rate, complementarians wrongly assume that all women are obsessed with  looking for a husband or boyfriend with a very large income or expensive sports car, so they are always telling us women to “stop judging a man by his income or what kind of car he drives, and instead, focus on how much he loves Jesus.”

Well, I hate to break it to you complementarians, but some us ladies are busy checking out if the guy has great abs and muscular arms or not – we aren’t as obsessed with his credit score, car, or savings and investments as you may assume.)

No, the sexist complementarians reserve that rhetoric for women.

But women do notice and care about what men look like, as I’ve blogged about years ago in a series of posts, such as (Link): this one or (Link): this one.

(Even the (Link): Bible mentions women noticing hot looking men and getting turned on by them, but per usual, complementarians ignore or do not mention parts of the Bible that don’t fit their backwards views.)

All of that brings me to this…

The other day, I was scrolling down my Twitter page and saw this headline from The Daily Mail:

(Link): ‘Erotic weight gainer’ who tips the scales at 500lbs reveals he eats 10,000 calories a day to maintain his ‘ball gut’ and keep his OnlyFans followers entertained

Here are some excerpts:

A 500lb OnlyFans influencer who found a lucrative niche within the fat fetish community has revealed he has to eat around 10,000 calories a day to maintain his ‘ball gut’ and keep his followers entertained.

What’s Causing Women To Join the No Fap Movement?

What’s Causing Women To Join the No Fap Movement?

(Link): What’s Causing Women To Join the No Fap Movement?

Excerpts:

A Reddit forum dedicated to abstaining from masturbation has over 450,000 members – and about 5% of them are female

by Katie Bishop
Sept 2019

…Kristel is a follower of (Link): NoFap, a platform that encourages its users to refrain from masturbation. She claims her new lifestyle has led to a complete physical and mental reformation.

“After starting NoFap I felt more motivation, more willpower and more discipline,” Kristel tells me. “I decided to take part in the movement because I like challenging myself and I wanted to prove that I could accomplish this.”

The flippantly named NoFap community has gained a strange prominence since it was founded in 2011 by Pittsburgh web developer Alexander Rhodes.

Inspired by a small study that suggested that male testosterone levels rose after seven days of abstinence from ejaculation, followers avoid masturbation in order to “reboot” their brains.

Having first gained momentum among men in Reddit forums and backwaters of the internet, the community regards NoFap as a sexual health program to combat porn addiction.

Women Bored By Monogamy Says Study by W. Martin

Women Bored By Monogamy Says Study by W. Martin

(Link): The Bored Sex

Excerpts:

February 2019

Women, more than men, tend to feel stultified by long-term exclusivity—despite having been taught that they were designed for it.

…Marta Meana of the University of Nevada at Las Vegas spelled it out simply in an interview with me at the annual Society for Sex Therapy and Research conference in 2017. “Long-term relationships are tough on desire, and particularly on female desire,” she said.

I was startled by her assertion, which contradicted just about everything I’d internalized over the years about who and how women are sexually.

Somehow I, along with nearly everyone else I knew, was stuck on the idea that women are in it for the cuddles as much as the orgasms, and—besides—actually require emotional connection and familiarity to thrive sexually, whereas men chafe against the strictures of monogamy.

 But Meana discovered that “institutionalization of the relationship, over familiarity, and desexualization of roles” in a long-term heterosexual partnership mess with female passion especially—a conclusion that’s consistent with other recent studies.

Introducing LoveSync, A Device For Telling Your Partner You Want Sex Without Speaking To Them – Perfect Solution for Doormat Complementarian Wives!

Introducing LoveSync, A Device For Telling Your Partner You Want Sex Without Speaking To Them – Perfect Solution for Doormat Complementarian Wives!

(Update below)

Complementarians falsely believe that women do not want, desire, or enjoy sex – they assume that only men want sex (see Doug Wilson, Mark Driscoll and others).

Further, many complementarians (see John Piper as one example) believe it is wrong for women to be direct when communicating, because a woman being blunt with a man may hurt that man’s male ego.

(Complementarians brainwash Christian women into thinking that being  Codependent is “Godly.”)

So, what is a randy, passive, doormat complementarian wife to do if she’s in the mood? I guess she can try this product:

(Link): Introducing LoveSync, A Device For Telling Your Partner You Want Sex Without Speaking To Them 

Excerpts:

February 2019
By Madison Malone Kircher

Are you in a relationship where you have sex with another person? Great.

That’s nice for you, if you’re into having sex with other people. Are you a little fuzzy on how to ask said other person if they’d like to have sex with you? Here’s a refresher.

You ask them.

You use words — spoken, typed, sky-written — and ask your partner if they are feeling likewise horny. If they consent … then you have sex.

Dear Advice Lady: My Boyfriend is a Fattie and I Feel Like His Mom

Dear Advice Lady: My Boyfriend is a Fattie and I Feel Like His Mom

About the letter below that some woman in a troubled relationship wrote to an advice columnist:

I just love how so many men fool themselves into thinking that women don’t care about what men look like – because we do.

This is ten times more true in Christian culture, especially within churches and denominations that teach that sexist, idiotic “complementarianism” drivel, where the pastors will browbeat the women to stay thin and pretty because supposedly all men are visually “wired by God”
(note: no, they’re not; men are socially conditioned by culture, including Playboy magazine, on what to find attractive in women),
so Christians guilt and pressure Christian women into starving themselves and being obsessed with their looks.

Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex

Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex

(Link): Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex – Raw Story Site

(Link):  ANONYMOUS EX-CHRISTIANS OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR DAMAGED SEX LIVES

Excerpts from Raw Story site:

In a confessional piece on The Feed, ex-evangelicals lamented the oppressive influence their faith had on their sex lives and personal relationships with their partners, saying they were haunted by feelings of guilt and shame.

As pointed out by Hemant Mehta at the Friendly Atheist, former fundamentalist Christian Ruby Bisson (Claire) who writes about Christianity at The Gravity of Guilt, has been compiling stories told her by her readers who detailed not only how their deeply-held religious beliefs crippled their sex lives, but the lingering effects after they lost their religion.

According to one anonymous woman, “I can’t orgasm because I can’t relax. I’m literally thinking about hell. It’s been three years since I left Christianity but I can’t shake the thought that a guy who isn’t a Christian just wants me for my bod and I project that insecurity onto him. This is ultimately what ended my only two relationships.”

She then admitted how she tried to make it work.

“I made him pretend he was religious and didn’t want to have sex,” she explained. “I had to convince him it was a good idea. I made him pray at the end of the bed. Through that role play I was able to be the other person and that power allowed me not to freak out.”

Another former Christain said that she spiraled into a world of pornography at the age of 12, that left her secretly living in “shame and self-hatred.”

My Husband Caught Me Masturbating, and It Led to Our Divorce by Jane Doe

My Husband Caught Me Masturbating, and It Led to Our Divorce by Jane Doe

And some Christians, especially in their dating or martial advice books, would have you believe that if you just wait until marriage to have sex, that you’ll always have great, regular sex. Not so…

(Link):  My Husband Caught Me Masturbating, and It Led to Our Divorce by Jane Doe

Excerpts:

as told to CAYLIN HARRIS

Sure, it’s awkward being walked in on. But how my husband responded was what shocked me the most.

… Over time, though, our sex life changed. And by that I mean it became nonexistent. What once was us having sex at least a few times a week turned into one or two times a month, if I was lucky.

He grew more emotionally distant and had trouble getting aroused, and while I knew he was dealing with a lot of financial stress at work (and I was bringing in less money due to my job switch), he never wanted to have a conversation with me, or even see a doctor.

A Happy Marriage Can Now Include Cheating According to Cheaters

A Happy Marriage Can Now Include Cheating According to Cheaters

(Link): A Happy Marriage Can Now Include Cheating According to Cheaters

Excerpts:

by Hannah Sparks

Human sexuality is an ever-unfolding mystery, but two new books aim to shed some light on it. Here, psychiatrist Kenneth Rosenberg, author of “Infidelity: Why Men and Women Cheat” (Da Capo Press), and physician Erika Schwartz, author of “The Intimacy Solution” (Post Hill Press), share some surprising facts and figures about sex, love and divorce.

If your partner cheats, you’ll probably never know
“Ninety percent of people who cheat — their spouses never find out about it,” says Rosenberg. He also notes a reason why infidelity can be hard to detect: 50 percent of those who cheat say they’re happy in their marriage.

Grieving for My Sex Life After My Husband Died by A. Radosh

Grieving for My Sex Life After My Husband Died by A. Radosh

One minor theme I sometimes bring up on this blog is that getting married is not a recipe for ever-lasting happiness: your spouse, should you marry, can develop early on-set dementia, or die from cancer, a car accident, etc. Or, maybe your spouse turns out to be abusive or so self-centered that he doesn’t care to meet your emotional needs.

So, here we have an article by a lady whose husband died, so she’s not having sex.

I’ve mentioned before in a few other posts on this blog that married people should not think they’re off the hook just because they have a spouse and a spouse is providing companionship – because if your spouse dies before you, you will be single again and find yourself lonely.

In this case, if you know and believe sex outside of marriage is morally wrong you’re not going to start having sex with other people after your spouse dies. This should be another reason why Christians teach that sexual purity, chastity, and celibacy are for all people, not just teens or single adults.

(Link): Grieving for My Sex Life After My Husband Died by A. Radosh

Excerpts:

…Bart and I never bought into that stereotype. We were septuagenarians now, and the sex was still fun. It bound us together.

When Bart was diagnosed with multiple myeloma in his mid-70s, we were both stunned. He had always been strong, athletic, energetic, and healthy; but now the cells in the marrow of his bones were being destroyed by cancer. Within a few months, our hikes up the Catskill high peaks were replaced with quiet walks along the stream near our house.

TV Host Slut-Shames Woman Who Says She Had Sex With 20 Ghosts

TV Host Slut-Shames Woman Who Says She Had Sex With 20 Ghosts

This would be their choice of headline, not mine. Out of everything I’ve blogged about here in the past 6 or 7 years, this is probably one of the dumbest and weirdest stories I’ve blogged about yet

(Link): TV Host Slut-Shames Woman Who Says She Had Sex With 20 Ghosts

Excerpts:

by Christian Gollayan

Amethyst Realm, a 27-year-old Brit, is getting slut-shamed for claiming to have had sex with at least 20 ghosts — whom she purportedly prefers to living men.

Realm, from Bristol, England, went on the British TV show “ITV This Morning” on Thursday to discuss her out-of-body-on-body experiences. She says it all began in 2005, when she moved into a haunted home with her then-fiancé.

Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study

Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study

From the UK:

(Link): Almost 60% of women want more sex than their partner does

Excerpts:

If you believe what you see in American films, all men are desperate for sex, and most women don’t want to give it to them.

This is, of course, complete bollocks. As we know, women have sexual identities, desires and fantasies of their own, just like men do. In fact, as new research from Voucher Codes Pro demonstrates, many women actually have even more of a sex drive than men.

Ask Amy: Wife Says She Is Turned Off By Husband’s Fat Body and Muffin Top

Ask Amy: Wife Says She Is Turned Off By Husband’s Fat Body and Muffin Top

I am publishing this to disprove one or two common stereotypes among conservative Christians: that women are not interested in sex, and women are not “visually oriented.”

Here we have an example of a woman who is sexually turned off by the sight of her husband’s obese body and muffin top. Women do in fact pay attention to what men look like and DO CARE about what men look like, though I’d have to say women are a lot less strict and picky about the looks.

Women might be willing to date a “so-so” looking man, so long as he compensates in other areas, like, he treats her really well, or he has a great sense of humor.

But women do notice and care about what men look like, and women can and do get turned off by flabby male bodies, receding hairlines, and so on.

Letter to Ask Amy advice columnist (Sept 2016):

Dear Amy:

How do I tell the man in my life that his huge muffin top is a turn off for me? He is more than plump, Amy, he is obese.

He blames his diabetes on the fact that he cannot satisfy me sexually, but I maintain that it is his obesity that is the reason he has diabetes.

I do not want to insult him or cause him any embarrassment, but I need to get across to him that he has to lose at least 30 to 40 pounds. Even his daughter gives him grief about his weight.

Please tell me how to talk to him without hurting his feelings.

— Diabetes

You can read Amy’s reply (Link): here or (Link): here

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Related Posts:

(Link): The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men & That Women Are Oblivious To, or Don’t Care About, What Men Look Like

(Link): Dear Advice Lady: My Boyfriend is a Fattie and I Feel Like His Mom

Benevolent Sexism in the Christian Bedroom (Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality) by J. Kamps

Benevolent Sexism in the Christian Bedroom (Christian Stereotypes About Female Sexuality) by J. Kamps

Some parts of these posts tackle subjects I’ve mentioned before on my blog in the past.

(Link):  It’s my orgasm, not his [part 1] by J. Kamps

(Link): It’s my orgasm, not his [part 2] by J. Kamps

Excerpts from (Link):  It’s my orgasm, not his [part 1] by J. Kamps

Jasmine’s story is an example of Benevolent Sexism. Hostile Sexism is fairly easy to recognise. Benevolent Sexism is sneaky and far more socially pervasive. It parades around wearing a facade of chivalry, making out women to be weaker, lesser, diminished, objectified, by using what are perceived as good manners, male consideration, and role definition.

Benevolent Sexism operates on the fundamental belief that, whether observed in practice or not, there IS a gender hierarchy.

….Benevolent Sexism even uses compliments and praise to disarm and disempower women. “Women are kinder, gentler, naturally more loving. Women are not as strong as men, so they require protection. Women are not as naturally competitive.”

Prudie Counsels a Woman Whose Husband Stopped Initiating Sex. – But Most Christians Teach that Marriage Means Great and Regular Sex.

Prudie Counsels a Woman Whose Husband Stopped Initiating Sex. – But Most Christians Teach that Marriage Means Great and Regular Sex.

A lot of Christian teaching I heard while growing up – and even as an adult  – suggested if you wait until marriage to have sex that the sex would be so worth it, because it would be FREQUENT and GREAT QUALITY.

Lo and behold if that is not the case. Here is the one billionth example on my blog.

Oh, let this go to show that women are interested in sex too, not just men – Christians often falsely teach that only men want and enjoy sex, while they also teach that women only want cuddles and to sip tea.

(Link): Prudie counsels a woman whose husband stopped initiating sex

Q. Husband doesn’t initiate sex anymore:

I’m a 39-year-old woman, and my husband is 43. Our sex life has always been very good, and we each have done our own fair share of initiating.

However, in the past few years, the frequency of sex has really dwindled. Currently, as long as I do all of the initiating, our sex life remains great. If I don’t, no sex for months.

I’ve found myself becoming somewhat resentful, as it makes me feel like he no longer desires me or cares to make an effort. I’ve talked with him a number of times about this, and I only get the same responses over and over.

Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband

Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband

A couple of days ago, I saw this episode of The 700 Club.

A celibate Christian woman wrote Pat Robertson this question –

And her question is one all Christians avoid: they just scream at a 20 year old today to MARRY NOW NOW NOW!

They have no advice and no encouragement to give any adult over 35 who wants to be married but still finds him or herself single.

The usual Christian response is just to shame this lady for supposedly not having done enough to marry when younger, in spite of not knowing her background, or what she did to try to marry – Christians just arrogantly ASSUME if you are not married past a certain age, it is all your fault, and there were no mitigating circumstances.

So here’s her question to Pat, host of The 700 Club:

• Dear Pat,
• The Bible says that it’s better to marry than to burn with lust, but what about someone like me who can’t find someone to marry?

Women Are More Interested In Sex Than You Think, (2016) Studies Show – Men underestimate their wife’s or girlfriend’s sexual desire; read the signals

Women Are More Interested In Sex Than You Think, (2016) Studies Show – Men underestimate their wife’s or girlfriend’s sexual desire; read the signals

The majority of Christians will disregard this study, because it does not fit their culturally- based gender stereotypes that men are sexual animals and visually oriented while all women are supposedly, basically uninterested in sex and only interested in emotional closeness, weeping at beautiful poetry, and knitting scarves.

It is true: for all their bloviating on how they adhere to “sola scriptura,” many Christians take their secular-cultural based assumptions about women and read them back into the Bible. The Bible no where teaches that “God designed men to be visual” or that “men are more interested in sex than women are.” Christians get those assumptions from their culture or perceived personal experiences – not from the Bible.

(Link): Women Are More Interested In Sex Than You Think, (2016) Studies Show

Excerpts

• by E. Bernstein
• Men underestimate their wife’s or girlfriend’s sexual desire; read the signals
• Rarely are researchers’ findings so satisfying. Women may want more sex than their husbands or partners think.
• New research by psychologists at the University of Toronto and the University of Western Ontario, (Link): published earlier this month in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, found that men in long-term relationships often underestimate how often their wives or girlfriends want to be intimate.
• The research consists of three studies, following a total of 229 long-term couples, most of whom are heterosexual. (The sample of homosexual couples was too small to be statistically significant, the researchers say.) Participants ranged in age from 18 to 68 years old; the couples had been together six years on average, and they reported they had sex an average of one to two times a week.
• ….All three studies showed the same thing: Men consistently underestimated their female partner’s desire, while the women had an accurate read on whether or not their partner was interested in sex. And on the days when the men thought their partner was less sexually interested than she actually was, the women reported being more satisfied in and committed to the relationship.

We’re All Visual – Responding to Common Christian Claim that Only Men Are Visual – via God Loves Women blog

We’re All Visual – Responding to Common Christian Claim that Only Men Are Visual – via God Loves Women blog

Someone on my Twitter re-Tweeted a link to the link below.

The e-mail from Gross (that is mentioned at the other blog) also shames and blames women whose husbands are using porn; he actually tells them that their husbands are still owed sex, they should not “put walls up” with their spouse and treat their husbands with suspicion in all areas of their lives, and so on.

Gross’ comments were inappropriate and insensitive to women who find out their husbands are cheating on them by viewing pornography. You can visit this blog below to see those additional comments.

I’d like to add that this also goes to show the the Christian trope that Christian married sex will be hot, steamy, and satisfying is false. Obviously, some Christian men (and married Christian women) are using porn, so they are not being fully sexually satisfied in the sack by their Christian spouse.

Also note that this disproves the Christian myth that married persons are immune from sexual sin. They are not. Married people are not more sexually pure than adult singles.

(Link): We’re All Visual 

Excerpts:

• I received an email from Craig Gross at XXX Church the other day.  I had not signed up for emails from them.  This is because XXX Church and Craig Gross purchase email address lists to be able to market to the people on them.  Find out more about that (Link): HERE.
• This uninvited email was telling women how to deal with their husbands’ viewing pornography.  I was horrified and angered by the content that was in the email and took to Twitter to communicate that to Craig Gross.  I shall be spending this blog articulating WHY his email was so dangerous and will by referring t the email, the blog that the email is an excerpt from and my Twitter interaction with him.
• …Right, let’s get this VISUAL NATURE nonsense.
• Cordelia Fine’s book “Delusions of Gender” is a must read for anyone who wants to understand the basics of neurobiology.  NOTHING IS HARDWIRED IN THE BRAIN.  The last ten years has seen neuroscience reject the idea of hardwiring in the brain.  The most recent science states that NEUROPLASTICITY (http://www.whatisneuroplasticity.com) is how the brain works.
• The frontal cortex of the brain (the bit which deals with cognition) only really begins to develop after birth.  This means that almost everything brain based is malleable according to context and socialisation.
• It is not in men’s “nature” to be visual, it is in their socialisation.

Here Are 5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men – by G. Christina

Here Are 5 Stupid, Unfair and Sexist Things Expected of Men

I’m only copying one point off the page.

What this excerpt discusses from a secular view is similar to what occurs in Christianity: many Christians also believe that all men are randy horn dogs who want sex 24/7, but, they also believe and teach that women (especially married ones) hate sex and have to be convinced or shamed into having more sex.

I’ve posted links to news stories and studies before that mention that women want sex just as much as men. One headline I have on my blog that I saw in the news was something like, “Women’s sex appetite rivals men’s, when they think nobody is judging.”

See, in American society, if a woman is sexual or admits to wanting or liking sex, she will often be thought of as a slut. This happens both within and out the church – secular culture is kind of like this, too. Though it seems secular culture is a little more open to the idea of women wanting sex or having sex than Christian culture is.

Anyway, the cultural mores are such that even if a woman really enjoys sex, wants sex, she will be hesitant to act like it or admit it for fear of getting the “slut” label by other people or by her church. I don’t think that’s something that people often consider, especially not conservative Christians.

(Link): Here are 5 stupid, unfair and sexist things expected of men

Excerpts:

• … But we don’t talk as much about how sexism hurts men. Understandably. When you look at the grotesque ways women are damaged by sexism—from economic inequality to political disenfranchisement to literal, physical abuse—it makes perfect sense that we’d care more about how sexism, patriarchy and rigid gender roles affect women than we do about how they affect men.
• But men undoubtedly get screwed up by this stuff, too. Not screwed up as badly as women, to be sure… but not trivially, either.
• [Sexist Things Expected of Men]
• 3. Be hot to trot. Always. With anybody.
• This is another expectation that came up with striking (although hardly surprising) frequency.
• Men are supposed to want sex — and be ready for sex — all the time.
• With pretty much anyone of the right gender who makes themselves available for it.