What do Female Incels Really Want? By Kaitlyn Tiffany

What do Female Incels Really Want? By Kaitlyn Tiffany

(Link): What do Female Incels Really Want?

Excerpts:

By Kaitlyn Tiffany
May 12, 2022

“We were all ugly,” Amanda, a 22-year-old student from Florida told me, recalling the online community she found when she was 18. “Men didn’t like us, guys didn’t want to be with us, and it was fine to acknowledge it.”

This Reddit forum was called r/Trufemcels, and she commented there under the username “strangeanduglygrl.” Amanda didn’t post very often, but she checked in every day on the community of self-identified “femcels,” or involuntarily celibate women. (I agreed to refer to her by her first name only, to separate her current life from her former internet identity.)

They came to complain about the superficiality of men and the privilege of pretty women, and to share their experiences moving through the world in an unattractive body, which therefore disadvantaged them romantically, socially, and economically.

They were finding the modern dating landscape—the image-based apps, the commodified dating “market,” the illusory “freedom” to be found in hookup culture—to be unnavigable, and they talked about taking a “pink pill,” and opening their eyes to the reality that society was misogynistic and “lookist.”

Continue reading “What do Female Incels Really Want? By Kaitlyn Tiffany”

The Insidious Reason Women Have Fewer Orgasms (2022 Study)

The Insidious Reason Women Have Fewer Orgasms (2022 Study)

Will male Christian Gender Complementarians care about this study or even pay attention to it? Nope, probably not, because they’re still stuck in Gender Stereotype Land, where only men want sex (and supposedly “need” it – but sex is not a need), where women only want their “emotional needs” met and would just like their husband to pour them the occasional bubble bath.

Any time I read about studies like this, it usually comes down to 1) Male Entitlement and 2) Internalized Stereotypes held by women that what a woman wants in the sack does not matter / women aren’t “supposed” to like sex.

(Link): The Insidious Reason Women Have Fewer Orgasms

That link above will take you to this page:

(Link): Orgasm gap: The insidious reason women have fewer orgasms than men

Excerpts:

It’s the clitoris, stupid!

May 13, 2022

KEY TAKEAWAYS

    • Heterosexual men have far more orgasms during partnered sex than heterosexual women, resulting in a significant pleasure disparity.
    • New research suggests that the explanation for the gap is simple: Men don’t take the time to stimulate women’s clitorises. The clitoris is the primary anatomical source of female sexual pleasure.
    • The reasons for this inattention are more complicated. It seems that cultural norms around gender place the focus on men’s pleasure and vaginal sex while downplaying women’s desire for their own pleasure.

There exists a significant “orgasm gap” between heterosexual women and heterosexual men. A 2005 study found that 39% of women usually or always experience an orgasm during partnered sex compared with 91% of men.

A more recent survey conducted in 2018 discovered that the gap had narrowed, but a sizable 30-point divide remained.

So what will it take for women to reach “pleasure parity” with men? Continue reading “The Insidious Reason Women Have Fewer Orgasms (2022 Study)”

Mom Dumped in Son’s Hockey Bag Allegedly Had Affair With Handyman Accused of Killing Her: Police 

Mom Dumped in Son’s Hockey Bag Allegedly Had Affair With Handyman Accused of Killing Her: Police 

Not saying this woman ‘deserved’ to be murdered by this guy she had the affair with, but if she hadn’t have had an affair, maybe this would not have happened to her.

So… does being married make a person immune from sexual sin? Why no, it does not. Does being married make a person more godly, responsible, or ethical (as many hyper pro marriage advocates teach, such as Al Mohler and Brad Wilcox)? Nope, it does not.

This news story, and ones like it, also betray a common Christian teaching that married sex is so totally awesome (especially if you wait until marriage to have sex) that you will never, ever seek sex outside the marriage. Obviously, that is not so, because I frequently see news stories of married people who commit adultery.

I do feel very bad for her children – they will be without a mother now.

(Link):  David Bonola, suspected handyman lover, charged in Orsolya Gaal murder

April 21, 2022

The handyman lover of Queens mom Orsolya Gaal was charged Thursday with her murder – and police said he committed the “horrendous” crime during a fight her over their recently-ended on-off affair of two years.

David Bonola, 44, was already on the NYPD’s radar Wednesday evening when officers canvassing for surveillance video spotted him near the crime scene and took him back to the 112th precinct.

There, Bonola made “incriminating statements” about the slaying, NYPD Chief of Detectives James Essig said at a press conference.

He was charged with murder, criminal tampering and criminal possession of a weapon for allegedly stabbing Gaal, 51, nearly 60 times in the basement of her Forest Hills home with a kitchen knife early on Saturday, cops said.

…Bonola, who cops said has no prior arrests, was “a handyman who was employed by Mrs. Gaal” for about two years — and during that time they had “an intimate affair,” Essig revealed Thursday.

They had re-sparked their on-off affair earlier this month, just to break up again — and Bonola “came back … to speak about the relationship again,” added Chief Julie Morrill, who led the investigation.

(Link): Mom dumped in son’s hockey bag allegedly had affair with handyman accused of killing her: Police

Orsolya Gaal, 51, was stabbed dozens of times, according to police.

by Emily Shapiro

A New York City mother found stabbed to death inside a duffel bag was allegedly killed by a handyman she’d been having an off-and-on affair with for two years, the NYPD said.

The suspect, David Bonola, was arrested just before 1 a.m. Thursday, days after he allegedly dumped Orsolya Gaal‘s body in her son’s hockey bag, police said at a news conference Thursday.

Continue reading “Mom Dumped in Son’s Hockey Bag Allegedly Had Affair With Handyman Accused of Killing Her: Police “

More Couples Enjoying Open Relationships Because They’re ‘Bored With Each Other’

More Couples Enjoying Open Relationships Because They’re ‘Bored With Each Other’

(Link): More couples enjoying open relationships because they’re ‘bored with each other’

April 13, 2022
By James Somper, The Sun

Open relationships have soared since the pandemic as couples grow bored with each other, a sex expert is claiming.

Romantic burnout caused by spending too much time together during lockdowns has been blamed for lackluster lovers starting to stray.

Sex therapist Dr. Tammy Nelson reported a 45 percent leap in inquiries about discussing the subject with partners in recent months.

Continue reading “More Couples Enjoying Open Relationships Because They’re ‘Bored With Each Other’”

After 30 Years of Great Sex, My Husband’s New Look is a Total Turn-Off – Advice Column by P. Connolly

After 30 Years of Great Sex, My Husband’s New Look is a Total Turn-Off – Advice Column by P. Connolly 

And so much of secular culture, and goodness knows, complementarian Christians, are obsessed with the notion, which is false, that only “men are visual” or “men are visually stimulated,” when a lot of women are as well.

(Link): After 30 Years of Great Sex, My Husband’s New Look is a Total Turn-Off

He has grown his grey hair long and I don’t find it attractive. Am I being shallow – or is it the menopause?

April 5, 2022

My husband of more than 30 years decided to grow his hair long about three years ago. Sex has always been important to us and I have always felt strongly sexually attracted to him.

But he is 59, with thin, fine grey hair and, as far as I am concerned, this is not a good look. I’m struggling to maintain our previous spark.

Am I just completely shallow and unreasonable to allow a small visual difference get in the way of a previously active and loving intimacy?

Continue reading “After 30 Years of Great Sex, My Husband’s New Look is a Total Turn-Off – Advice Column by P. Connolly”

Why Men Have More Orgasms Than Women by David Ludden (Hint: Male Entitlement is Involved. Notify Every Christian Gender Complementarian, Christian Patriarchalist, MRA, and Incel Ever)

Why Men Have More Orgasms Than Women by David Ludden (Hint: Male Entitlement is Involved. Notify Every Christian Gender Complementarian, Christian Patriarchalist, MRA, and Incel Ever)

The essay below, which references studies, mentions that male entitlement plays a role in why hetero men orgasm more in sex with women than women do.

This should be an eye-opener to every sexist, hetero man ever, including the sex-obsessed, marriage-obsessed, Christian gender complementarian and Christian Patriarchy rat bastards who already hold a lot of false beliefs about women and sex, such as,
“Only men want sex; women hate sex, women are not visually oriented and just want emotional connection, therefore, husbands unfortunately have to always nag their wives into having sex!”

(Link): Why Men Have More Orgasms Than Women – Real Clear Science

Full article on…

(Link): Why Men Have More Orgasms Than Women – Psychology Today

Some portions below in bold face added by me for emphasis:

by David Ludden –  Psychology Today
February 13, 2022

Key Points:

    • It’s commonly thought that men orgasm more easily than women due to biology, but research doesn’t support this contention.
    • Men are enculturated with a sense of entitlement, and this may play out in the bedroom as well.
    • Research shows that both men and women believe men are more entitled to have orgasms.

It’s common knowledge that men are more likely than women to orgasm during a sexual encounter. This is true in both casual affairs and long-term relationships. But why this is the case is not clear.

It’s Not About Biology
As University of Michigan psychologists Verena Klein and Terri Conley point out in an article they recently published (Link): in the journal Social Psychological and Personality Science, this argument doesn’t hold water. First, there’s nothing about the clitoris to suggest that it’s less likely to produce orgasms than the penis since both have the same concentration of nerve endings.

Furthermore, women are capable of having multiple orgasms in short secession. In contrast, men are limited in the number of orgasms they can have within a given time period.

For reasons that are still unknown but highly debated, men experience a refractory period after each ejaculation, so multiple orgasms are out of the question. Given these facts, it seems that women should be having way more orgasms than men, not the other way around.

Since they ruled out biological reasons, Klein and Conley considered whether the gendered sexual pleasure gap could be explained by social attitudes about sex. They note that in Western society, men are taught to feel more entitled, whereas women are trained to act more deferential.

Continue reading “Why Men Have More Orgasms Than Women by David Ludden (Hint: Male Entitlement is Involved. Notify Every Christian Gender Complementarian, Christian Patriarchalist, MRA, and Incel Ever)”

Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage

Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage by Andrew J. Bauman and Taylor May

(Link): Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage

Excerpts:

by Andrew J. Bauman

I am proud to be writing this article in partnership with Taylor May, a survivor of emotional and spiritual abuse. She has boldly shared her own story about what it was like to be married to someone who had a Pornographic Style of Relating, (PSR) and what it felt like to be used by him with her Church’s consent.

*Trigger warning for those who have suffered this type of betrayal trauma.


I’ve written about the pornographic style of relating here (PSR), but today we will hear from the perspective of a woman who has lived on the other side of this dynamic.

Many people have been talking about this with the release of this new book [Married Sex: A Christian Couple’s Guide to Reimagining Your Love Life by Gary Thomas] and some of its disturbing implications.

How can we talk about what these women are experiencing, and what can we learn from them?

Taylor May has offered her story and her experience below. My hope is that this can begin to clear up the muddy waters of what it means to live a Christlike marriage in a deeply pornified world.


by Taylor May

I didn’t realize how a pornographic style of relating was so deeply embedded into my first marriage until I was firmly planted into my second marriage.

That’s when I began to see the impact my first husband’s issue with lust had on my new, much healthier relationship.

Let me tell you my story, and how I and countless other women feel when our significant others lust for other women, on-screen or off.

Those of us who grew up in the evangelical Church have been told that we are responsible for men’s lust issues. This lie has been perpetrated by the church for far too long.

Many men are leading our church conversations with 90% of pastors being men, and considering that nearly 50% of those pastors self-report having used pornography, it would make sense that they would try to gaslight women by minimizing the destructive nature of porn use.

One way they do this is by framing it as a women’s issue or a sex issue, rather than the objectification of women/sin issue–one that stems from the person doing the objectifying.

Continue reading “Christlike or Pornlike?  A Christian Woman’s Role in Marriage”

Serial Killer Who Lured Victims on Dating Apps for Sex Is Caught Through Sting Operation, Sentenced to 160 Years

Serial Killer Who Lured Victims on Dating Apps for Sex Is Caught Through Sting Operation, Sentenced to 160 Years

(Link): NJ serial killer who murdered women he met for sex sentenced to 160 years

(Link): New Jersey Serial Killer Who Lured Women on Dating Apps Sentenced to 160 Years in Prison

….Prosecutors say the man [Khalil Wheeler-Weaver] had used a fake dating profile to lure and kill his victims: 20-year-old Sarah Butler, 19-year-old Robin West, and 33-year-old Joanne Brown.

Continue reading “Serial Killer Who Lured Victims on Dating Apps for Sex Is Caught Through Sting Operation, Sentenced to 160 Years”

Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)

Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)

I’ve read quite a bit about this “Sex Rescue” book, and it covers a lot of the topics I’ve been covering on this blog literally for years now.

Christians – especially the gender complementarians – operate under a faulty assumption that only men like and want sex, while women do not – so most of their sex lectures and sex material gives all sorts of sexist, awful advice, or tells Christians that women only have “emotional needs,” while women’s sexual preferences are never raised. 

Every pastor I’ve ever heard sermonize about the topic just tells men to occasionally cater to their wife’s emotional needs, but they don’t bring up what a woman may want sexually.

The Christian assumption is that all men are sex-crazed horn dogs, and the wives are obligated to have sex with their spouses, even if they are sick or not in the mood, etc.

I’ve discussed all that on this blog for years (and more), and this book apparently also discusses such issues.

(Link): Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue

Excerpts:

by Rachel Joy Welcher
June 3, 2021

The Great Sex Rescue sets out to correct harmful and unbiblical teachings on sex and marriage—specifically those messages perpetuated by the evangelical church and popular Christian books.

Not only that, it presents a way forward for couples who have suffered from these messages; a path that is guided by scripture and selfless love. 

…Sheila Wray Gregoire, along with her daughter, author and psychology graduate, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and epidemiologist and statistician, Joanna Sawatsky, bravely tackle these harmful teachings, with a high view of marriage, God’s plan for sex, and for scripture.

You may not agree with every conclusion or piece of advice, but this is a resource we need as we continue to deconstruct unbiblical teachings on sex, purity, and marriage. 

Welcher: It is clear from your writings that you care about female sexual flourishing; that you don’t want women left behind in marriage.
In The Great Sex Rescue, you cite example after example from popular Christian books where male sexual pleasure in marriage is prioritized and women are discussed merely as vehicles to accomplish this, rather than as equal sexual partners.
Why do you think the mutuality of sexual self-giving in marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:4–5 has largely been ignored in Christian writings and teachings on marriage?
Were you able to trace this idea to a specific book, era, or misinterpretation of the passage?

Gregoire: Let’s talk numbers: women buy the books, and men don’t. I’ve read that 74% of nonfiction relationship books are bought and read by women.
Why don’t men buy these books? Men often don’t feel the same societal pressure to fix relationships, while men are also discouraged from thinking about their feelings very much. Continue reading “Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)”

Florida Man with HIV Sentenced to Two Years for Not Informing Sexual Partners

Florida Man with HIV Sentenced to Two Years for Not Informing Sexual Partners

(Link): Florida Man with HIV Sentenced to Two Years for Not Informing Sexual Partners

July 24, 2021
by Amy Furr

A man in Port Orange, Florida, has been sentenced to two years in prison for not telling his sexual partners he was infected with HIV.

“Gentry Burns, 27, pleaded no contest Thursday to one count of uninformed HIV-infected sexual intercourse. Two other counts were dropped,” WESH (Link): reported.

Burns was initially charged in 2019 once an ex-girlfriend stepped forward with information that he was having sex with other women and apparently not telling them he was infected.
He will be put on probation for 12 months following his release from prison, the outlet stated.

Continue reading “Florida Man with HIV Sentenced to Two Years for Not Informing Sexual Partners”

Conservatives In Civil War Over Whether or Not Porn Stars Can Be Considered Conservative or Should Be Permitted To Attend Conservative Events

Conservatives In Civil War Over Whether or Not Porn Stars Can Be Considered Conservative or Should Be Permitted To Attend Conservative Events

I am a conservative, I don’t support pornography, but I’m not sure if I agree with other conservatives who have been saying lately that pornography movie actors cannot be conservatives.

It’s my understanding that some conservative type symposium sponsored by TPUSA (Turning Point U.S.A.), aimed at high school and college aged students, recently invited or permitted to attend, a porn star named Brandi Love, in Florida.

Ever since, conservatives have been feuding about this.

Some are saying, yes, porn actors should be permitted into the “conservative tent,” (or into conservative functions) while other say, “no way!”

My opinion is that yes, even porn stars can be politically conservative if they like, but I’m not sure it’s wise for one to actually attend an event for college students – and some said that while she was in attendance, she wore some kind of name badge with her “porn name” on it, to advertise her porn site or something(?)

I don’t think conservatives should defend porn, because porn is ultimately harmful to society and to women in particular – defending sexual hedonism and perversion is the province of liberals and leftists.

I see some overlap here and among the Christian faith, because a lot of Christians and churches used to defend the practice of remaining a virgin until marriage  (as they should), but in years past, they have begun defending sexual impurity and saying sex outside of marriage is no big deal.

Some churches, when having a “pro sexual purity” or “pro celibacy” event during church hours have been known to hire known fornicators – I’ve done posts about this subject in the past.

The Christians will never ask or hire an honest- to god- adult virgin to give a “sexual purity” lecture, no, they’d rather hire a person who FAILED at sexual purity.

It would be like hiring a food-addicted, 600 pound adult to give a “pro healthy eating” lecture at a church. It makes no sense.

Cancel Culture?

Some people are trying to market this move – of TPUSA of revoking her day pass – as cancel culture, but I’m not so sure.

If conservatives were trying to “cancel” Brandi Love, they’d be trying to ruin her entire career; there would be an on-going Twitter campaign by conservatives to “dog pile” and harass her on Twitter (which is not going on, AFAIK).

(If conservatives are harassing her, they should knock it off. I did read that some conservatives are defending her on Twitter.)

So far as I am aware, there are no conservatives writing to any of Love’s employers and demanding that she be fired and never allowed to work ever again – that would be the sort of thing that “cancel culture” leftists do.

Also note Love was not banned from the political conference due to differences in political opinion – the left always cancels people over political dissent. This banning was more over morals, not over a difference in view points.

Here is some material about this conservative feud:

(Link):  Conservative porn star Brandi Love fumes on Twitter about ‘cancel culture’ after she’s uninvited from GOP student event

I’m not sure if I agree with all of this essay or not:

(Link): About Porn Stars and Conservatism

Excerpts:

by B. Morse

…Now, the conversation has begun on the internet (read flame war) about where pornography fits into the big tent of conservatism after a right-leaning porn star, Brandi Love, showed up and was subsequently booted from a Turning Point USA event due to her profession.

This sparked a debate about whether or not Love can actually be a “conservative” and be a porn star with many of conservatism’s big names saying she can and others saying she can’t.

Continue reading “Conservatives In Civil War Over Whether or Not Porn Stars Can Be Considered Conservative or Should Be Permitted To Attend Conservative Events”

Christian MLB Star Ben Zobrist Claims Wife Had an Affair With Their Pastor and Marriage Counselor

Christian MLB Star Ben Zobrist Claims Wife Had an Affair With Their Pastor and Marriage Counselor

Assuming this guy is telling the truth, this one, lone headline manages to summarize about three or four the usual ten or so topics I regularly blog about!

Where do I even start with this one?

Okay. Many Christians – the ones who are obsessed with promoting marriage, parenthood, and The Nuclear Family – often like to claim that marriage (or being a parent) makes a person more godly, mature, loving, responsible, or ethical.
Clearly, this is false, because I have a shit load of news stories on this blog of married people (and parents) who are law breakers, selfish, or perverts.

Let’s see, what other garbage do pro-family values Christians and secular conservatives frequently teach that this story shows to be false that I’ve been covering here for literally years now?

Let’s see, oh yes:
Marriage supposedly makes Christian adults impervious to sexual sin… if Christians just get married, they will have great, regular, hot sex (with their spouse) and never have an affair on their spouse, or molest children, or use porn. All of that is false.

Other falsehoods: single (unmarried) adult women are sexual harlots and temptresses, so married men should stay away from them per the “Billy Graham Rule” (or “Mike Pence Rule”).
Well, the woman in this story is MARRIED. She is not widowed, divorced, or never-married (single), but a married chick who allegedly screwed around on her husband.

The male headship rule – Christian complementarians, and some secular sexist men in our nation – like to assume that men are specially or uniquely qualified to lead women, to lead on the job, to lead in politics.
But yet gain, we see via this news story that men commit sexual sin, some men lack self control and mores, and there is nothing special about maleness that causes men to be more virtuous or better than women.

Complementarians teach that only men “need” or “want” sex, but obviously, unless the married lady in this story was having affairs to meet emotional needs, she clearly enjoys boning men.
Women do enjoy sex, too, not just men, but this flies in the face of the sexist assumptions of many people in American culture both inside and out of the church.

And there’s just something ironic about the fact that allegedly, one of the men she had an affair with was a marriage counselor!
This is like the news story about the (Link): marriage counselor who murdered the woman he was going to marry, because she asked him to sign a pre-nup agreement.

There is nothing about marriage that makes people more worthy, ethical, happier, more godly or whatever else, than people who are single, widowed, or divorced.

(Link): Former MLB Star Ben Zobrist Accuses Pastor of Affair With His Wife and Defrauding Charity

(Link):  Retired MLB Star Accuses Pastor of Extramarital Affair with His Wife and Defrauding His Charity: Lawsuit 

Retired baseball player Ben Zobrist – the 2016 World Series MVP who led the Chicago Cubs to the franchise’s first championship in 108 years – is accusing pastor Byron Yawn of having an extramarital affair with his wife Julianna and of defrauding his charity.

In a lawsuit filed in Tennessee on May 6, Zobrist, 40, claims Yawn “usurped the ministerial-counselor role, violated and betrayed the confidence entrusted to him by [Zobrist], breached his fiduciary duty owed to [Zobrist] and deceitfully used his access as counselor to engage in an inappropriate sexual relationship with [Zobrist]’s wife,” according to NBC News, the Peoria Journal Star, and the Chicago Tribune, which obtained the lawsuit documents.

(Link): Ex-Cubs star Ben Zobrist claims wife Julianna had affair with their pastor, lawsuit says

(Link): Christian MLB Star Ben Zobrist Claims Wife Had an Affair With Their Pastor and Marriage Counselor

Excerpts:

By Jeannie Ortega Law
June 22, 2021

A recent court filing on behalf of outspoken Christian and former MLB player Ben Zobrist alleges that his wife, pop singer Julianna Zobrist, had an affair with the couple’s former Tennessee pastor, who also served as their marriage counselor.

Zobrist, who played in the MLB from 2006 to 2019, is now suing the former minister for damages, claiming he defrauded his charitable foundation.

Continue reading “Christian MLB Star Ben Zobrist Claims Wife Had an Affair With Their Pastor and Marriage Counselor”