Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)

Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)

I’ve read quite a bit about this “Sex Rescue” book, and it covers a lot of the topics I’ve been covering on this blog literally for years now.

Christians – especially the gender complementarians – operate under a faulty assumption that only men like and want sex, while women do not – so most of their sex lectures and sex material gives all sorts of sexist, awful advice, or tells Christians that women only have “emotional needs,” while women’s sexual preferences are never raised. 

Every pastor I’ve ever heard sermonize about the topic just tells men to occasionally cater to their wife’s emotional needs, but they don’t bring up what a woman may want sexually.

The Christian assumption is that all men are sex-crazed horn dogs, and the wives are obligated to have sex with their spouses, even if they are sick or not in the mood, etc.

I’ve discussed all that on this blog for years (and more), and this book apparently also discusses such issues.

(Link): Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue

Excerpts:

by Rachel Joy Welcher
June 3, 2021

The Great Sex Rescue sets out to correct harmful and unbiblical teachings on sex and marriage—specifically those messages perpetuated by the evangelical church and popular Christian books.

Not only that, it presents a way forward for couples who have suffered from these messages; a path that is guided by scripture and selfless love. 

…Sheila Wray Gregoire, along with her daughter, author and psychology graduate, Rebecca Gregoire Lindenbach, and epidemiologist and statistician, Joanna Sawatsky, bravely tackle these harmful teachings, with a high view of marriage, God’s plan for sex, and for scripture.

You may not agree with every conclusion or piece of advice, but this is a resource we need as we continue to deconstruct unbiblical teachings on sex, purity, and marriage. 

Welcher: It is clear from your writings that you care about female sexual flourishing; that you don’t want women left behind in marriage.
In The Great Sex Rescue, you cite example after example from popular Christian books where male sexual pleasure in marriage is prioritized and women are discussed merely as vehicles to accomplish this, rather than as equal sexual partners.
Why do you think the mutuality of sexual self-giving in marriage in 1 Corinthians 7:4–5 has largely been ignored in Christian writings and teachings on marriage?
Were you able to trace this idea to a specific book, era, or misinterpretation of the passage?

Gregoire: Let’s talk numbers: women buy the books, and men don’t. I’ve read that 74% of nonfiction relationship books are bought and read by women.
Why don’t men buy these books? Men often don’t feel the same societal pressure to fix relationships, while men are also discouraged from thinking about their feelings very much. Continue reading “Interview with the Authors of The Great Sex Rescue (book discusses erroneous, sexist Christian views about women and how this hinders sex – among other issues)”

Florida Man with HIV Sentenced to Two Years for Not Informing Sexual Partners

Florida Man with HIV Sentenced to Two Years for Not Informing Sexual Partners

(Link): Florida Man with HIV Sentenced to Two Years for Not Informing Sexual Partners

July 24, 2021
by Amy Furr

A man in Port Orange, Florida, has been sentenced to two years in prison for not telling his sexual partners he was infected with HIV.

“Gentry Burns, 27, pleaded no contest Thursday to one count of uninformed HIV-infected sexual intercourse. Two other counts were dropped,” WESH (Link): reported.

Burns was initially charged in 2019 once an ex-girlfriend stepped forward with information that he was having sex with other women and apparently not telling them he was infected.
He will be put on probation for 12 months following his release from prison, the outlet stated.

Continue reading “Florida Man with HIV Sentenced to Two Years for Not Informing Sexual Partners”

Conservatives In Civil War Over Whether or Not Porn Stars Can Be Considered Conservative or Should Be Permitted To Attend Conservative Events

Conservatives In Civil War Over Whether or Not Porn Stars Can Be Considered Conservative or Should Be Permitted To Attend Conservative Events

I am a conservative, I don’t support pornography, but I’m not sure if I agree with other conservatives who have been saying lately that pornography movie actors cannot be conservatives.

It’s my understanding that some conservative type symposium sponsored by TPUSA (Turning Point U.S.A.), aimed at high school and college aged students, recently invited or permitted to attend, a porn star named Brandi Love, in Florida.

Ever since, conservatives have been feuding about this.

Some are saying, yes, porn actors should be permitted into the “conservative tent,” (or into conservative functions) while other say, “no way!”

My opinion is that yes, even porn stars can be politically conservative if they like, but I’m not sure it’s wise for one to actually attend an event for college students – and some said that while she was in attendance, she wore some kind of name badge with her “porn name” on it, to advertise her porn site or something(?)

I don’t think conservatives should defend porn, because porn is ultimately harmful to society and to women in particular – defending sexual hedonism and perversion is the province of liberals and leftists.

I see some overlap here and among the Christian faith, because a lot of Christians and churches used to defend the practice of remaining a virgin until marriage  (as they should), but in years past, they have begun defending sexual impurity and saying sex outside of marriage is no big deal.

Some churches, when having a “pro sexual purity” or “pro celibacy” event during church hours have been known to hire known fornicators – I’ve done posts about this subject in the past.

The Christians will never ask or hire an honest- to god- adult virgin to give a “sexual purity” lecture, no, they’d rather hire a person who FAILED at sexual purity.

It would be like hiring a food-addicted, 600 pound adult to give a “pro healthy eating” lecture at a church. It makes no sense.

Cancel Culture?

Some people are trying to market this move – of TPUSA of revoking her day pass – as cancel culture, but I’m not so sure.

If conservatives were trying to “cancel” Brandi Love, they’d be trying to ruin her entire career; there would be an on-going Twitter campaign by conservatives to “dog pile” and harass her on Twitter (which is not going on, AFAIK).

(If conservatives are harassing her, they should knock it off. I did read that some conservatives are defending her on Twitter.)

So far as I am aware, there are no conservatives writing to any of Love’s employers and demanding that she be fired and never allowed to work ever again – that would be the sort of thing that “cancel culture” leftists do.

Also note Love was not banned from the political conference due to differences in political opinion – the left always cancels people over political dissent. This banning was more over morals, not over a difference in view points.

Here is some material about this conservative feud:

(Link):  Conservative porn star Brandi Love fumes on Twitter about ‘cancel culture’ after she’s uninvited from GOP student event

I’m not sure if I agree with all of this essay or not:

(Link): About Porn Stars and Conservatism

Excerpts:

by B. Morse

…Now, the conversation has begun on the internet (read flame war) about where pornography fits into the big tent of conservatism after a right-leaning porn star, Brandi Love, showed up and was subsequently booted from a Turning Point USA event due to her profession.

This sparked a debate about whether or not Love can actually be a “conservative” and be a porn star with many of conservatism’s big names saying she can and others saying she can’t.

Continue reading “Conservatives In Civil War Over Whether or Not Porn Stars Can Be Considered Conservative or Should Be Permitted To Attend Conservative Events”

Christian MLB Star Ben Zobrist Claims Wife Had an Affair With Their Pastor and Marriage Counselor

Christian MLB Star Ben Zobrist Claims Wife Had an Affair With Their Pastor and Marriage Counselor

Assuming this guy is telling the truth, this one, lone headline manages to summarize about three or four the usual ten or so topics I regularly blog about!

Where do I even start with this one?

Okay. Many Christians – the ones who are obsessed with promoting marriage, parenthood, and The Nuclear Family – often like to claim that marriage (or being a parent) makes a person more godly, mature, loving, responsible, or ethical.
Clearly, this is false, because I have a shit load of news stories on this blog of married people (and parents) who are law breakers, selfish, or perverts.

Let’s see, what other garbage do pro-family values Christians and secular conservatives frequently teach that this story shows to be false that I’ve been covering here for literally years now?

Let’s see, oh yes:
Marriage supposedly makes Christian adults impervious to sexual sin… if Christians just get married, they will have great, regular, hot sex (with their spouse) and never have an affair on their spouse, or molest children, or use porn. All of that is false.

Other falsehoods: single (unmarried) adult women are sexual harlots and temptresses, so married men should stay away from them per the “Billy Graham Rule” (or “Mike Pence Rule”).
Well, the woman in this story is MARRIED. She is not widowed, divorced, or never-married (single), but a married chick who allegedly screwed around on her husband.

The male headship rule – Christian complementarians, and some secular sexist men in our nation – like to assume that men are specially or uniquely qualified to lead women, to lead on the job, to lead in politics.
But yet gain, we see via this news story that men commit sexual sin, some men lack self control and mores, and there is nothing special about maleness that causes men to be more virtuous or better than women.

Complementarians teach that only men “need” or “want” sex, but obviously, unless the married lady in this story was having affairs to meet emotional needs, she clearly enjoys boning men.
Women do enjoy sex, too, not just men, but this flies in the face of the sexist assumptions of many people in American culture both inside and out of the church.

And there’s just something ironic about the fact that allegedly, one of the men she had an affair with was a marriage counselor!
This is like the news story about the (Link): marriage counselor who murdered the woman he was going to marry, because she asked him to sign a pre-nup agreement.

There is nothing about marriage that makes people more worthy, ethical, happier, more godly or whatever else, than people who are single, widowed, or divorced.

(Link): Former MLB Star Ben Zobrist Accuses Pastor of Affair With His Wife and Defrauding Charity

(Link):  Retired MLB Star Accuses Pastor of Extramarital Affair with His Wife and Defrauding His Charity: Lawsuit 

Retired baseball player Ben Zobrist – the 2016 World Series MVP who led the Chicago Cubs to the franchise’s first championship in 108 years – is accusing pastor Byron Yawn of having an extramarital affair with his wife Julianna and of defrauding his charity.

In a lawsuit filed in Tennessee on May 6, Zobrist, 40, claims Yawn “usurped the ministerial-counselor role, violated and betrayed the confidence entrusted to him by [Zobrist], breached his fiduciary duty owed to [Zobrist] and deceitfully used his access as counselor to engage in an inappropriate sexual relationship with [Zobrist]’s wife,” according to NBC News, the Peoria Journal Star, and the Chicago Tribune, which obtained the lawsuit documents.

(Link): Ex-Cubs star Ben Zobrist claims wife Julianna had affair with their pastor, lawsuit says

(Link): Christian MLB Star Ben Zobrist Claims Wife Had an Affair With Their Pastor and Marriage Counselor

Excerpts:

By Jeannie Ortega Law
June 22, 2021

A recent court filing on behalf of outspoken Christian and former MLB player Ben Zobrist alleges that his wife, pop singer Julianna Zobrist, had an affair with the couple’s former Tennessee pastor, who also served as their marriage counselor.

Zobrist, who played in the MLB from 2006 to 2019, is now suing the former minister for damages, claiming he defrauded his charitable foundation.

Continue reading “Christian MLB Star Ben Zobrist Claims Wife Had an Affair With Their Pastor and Marriage Counselor”

How Evangelical Teachings Ruin Sex and Marriage For Many Women by L. Blair

How Evangelical Teachings Ruin Sex and Marriage For Many Women by L. Blair

Some of the issues discussed in this article and in her book are ones I’ve brought up on this blog over the years.

There is so much hypocrisy in Christianity, usually hypocrisy that works out in favor of men and to the detriment of women, especially in “gender complementarian” teachings.

Some of these teachings about marital sex, or marriage generally, can be directly or indirectly derogatory towards single, celibate adults (e.g., some Christians teach that having sexual intercourse is “necessary to know God,” while some preachers teach that to fulfill your purpose in life, you must marry.)

Here is the article about the book:

(Link): How Evangelical Teachings Ruin Sex and Marriage For Many Women

Excerpts:

By Leonardo Blair, Christian Post Reporter 

Evangelical blogger Sheila Wray Gregoire doesn’t care if her critics want to brand her a feminist. She wants the Church to know that “sex is for women too,” and ignoring that point can ruin sex, orgasms and marriages for women. 

New research shows that many evangelical women are unsatisfied in the bedroom due to some evangelical beliefs, and that’s the big takeaway Gregoire wants readers to get as she stages a scholarly intervention in her new book, The Great Sex Rescue: The Lies You’ve Been Taught and How to Recover What God Intended. 

Continue reading “How Evangelical Teachings Ruin Sex and Marriage For Many Women by L. Blair”

Batman, Catwoman Oral Sex Scene Blocked From Series: “Heroes Don’t Do That”

Batman, Catwoman Oral Sex Scene Blocked From Series: “Heroes Don’t Do That”

Who the hell wants, or asked for, sex scenes in comics about superheroes?

Now, if your complementarians insist on continuing to teach about sex, they need to acknowledge that some women do and would enjoy receiving oral sex from their male partner – but – complementarians never, ever want to acknowledge women’s sexual (or even often, their non-sexual) preferences.

Complementarians have to keep living in this delusion that only men enjoy sex to justify why they think it’s okay for men to be selfish in the bedroom and not even concern themselves with what women prefer.

(Link): DC stopped Batman from performing oral sex on Catwoman

“Heroes don’t do that,” DC apparently decided. The tweetstorm says otherwise.

(Link): Batman, Catwoman Oral Sex Scene Blocked From Series: “Heroes Don’t Do That”

by James Hibberd
June 15, 2021

Batman can beat criminals to a pulp, take on supervillains and live a double life as a billionaire playboy and caped crusader … but he can’t, apparently, go downtown — not downtown Gotham City, he can, obviously, certainly go there, but he can’t go to, you know … the other downtown.

Continue reading “Batman, Catwoman Oral Sex Scene Blocked From Series: “Heroes Don’t Do That””

 The New Summer of Love: ‘People are Desperate to Have Sex – It’s Been A Long Year’ by A. Jones

 The New Summer of Love: ‘People are Desperate to Have Sex – It’s Been A Long Year’

Why are people so sex obsessed?

I’m not going to copy the whole article here to my blog, but one thing I noticed about it is that a lot of people quoted in the article are women – and they are women who talked about how much they miss having sex and would like to be having sex again.

That is definitely against moronic Christian gender complementarian teachings and assumptions that only men want sex. Complementarians assume all women lack a libido.

(Link):  The New Summer of Love: ‘People are Desperate to Have Sex – It’s Been A Long Year’

Whether single, curious or just plain horny, many people are planning to make the most of life after lockdowns. Are we ready to get up close and personal?

by A. Jones
June 5, 2021

he past year has changed 35-year-old Georgie’s outlook on dating. Several disappointing socially distanced dates and limp text exchanges meant she stopped using dating apps at the beginning of 2021.

And now her parents have been vaccinated, she feels confident about returning to physical dates, “but not to the apps”, she says. “As things open up, I’m going to lean into spontaneity; I’m going to say yes to every invitation and seize every opportunity. If I feel a connection with someone at a social gathering, a festival or even a bus stop, I’ll go and talk to them. I’m going to be way more carpe fucking diem about it.”

Continue reading ” The New Summer of Love: ‘People are Desperate to Have Sex – It’s Been A Long Year’ by A. Jones”

Dear Therapist: My Husband and I Don’t Have Sex Anymore

Dear Therapist: My Husband and I Don’t Have Sex Anymore

~INTRODUCTION (the letter from the sexless marriage lady to the therapist is below)~
Even today, some Christians run around (from what I’ve seen online) making this bogus promise that if people just wait until marriage to have sex, that the sex will be great, and it will be regular.
(This is something Christians did back in the 1980s and 1990s, and they are still doing this today in 2021 – maybe not as much(?), but it definitely still happens on occasion.)

A lot of Christians (and secular conservatives) shame and insult adults who do not have children. They have this false Gospel that The Nuclear Family will save mankind – as in culture, a nation, etc (parenthood and marriage are also included in this).

Well, every so often, I see people write in to advice columnists to say they are in sexless marriages, and quite a few of them say they are unhappy being in a sexless marriage.

Even more interesting is that many of those writing in to the columnists are WOMEN.
As in, these women like sex and want to be having more sex, but their husband, for whatever reason, is totally not into having sex.
Why mention this? Because a lot of idiot Gender Complementarian Christians have this false stereotype that women don’t want sex – they think only men want sex.

Just keep all that in mind as you are reading this, and please check out the links at the bottom, under “Related Posts.”

(Link): Dear Therapist: My Husband and I Don’t Have Sex Anymore

Excerpts:

by L. Gottlieb
June 22, 2019

“I miss the closeness we had before our baby was born.”

Dear Therapist,

[Woman writes in to say she and her husband had a great romance, and after a few months, moved in together. They were engaged, married about two years later, and she got pregnant]

….Our sex was always good before I got pregnant. When our baby was born, my husband had postnatal depression and I had to keep everything together. I was finding it hard inside, but just had to act strong for the both of us. That really put a strain on our marriage.

Our beautiful baby boy is now 15 months old and we never have sex. Our son has just started to sleep through the night, and I think we have gotten so used to taking care of our son at night and not having sex that now it feels so awkward.

Continue reading “Dear Therapist: My Husband and I Don’t Have Sex Anymore”

My Husband Won’t Take His Mask Off – Not Even For Sex by T. Bosch

My Husband Won’t Take His Mask Off – Not Even For Sex by T. Bosch

Anyone out there who thinks snarking at another adult over the age of 21 that “you’re probably a virgin” (as though having sex is a mark of maturity or adulthood, ie, using sexual activity or lack thereof as an insult), needs to reconsider that in light of the stupid sex-related things that people who do have sex do. Such as…

(Link): My Husband Won’t Take His Mask Off – Not Even For Sex

We’re both vaccinated now. When will this stop?

Dear Prudence,

I have been married to a great guy for five and a half years. He is handsome, sexy, funny, and kind.

It’s true that he has always been a little “prissy” about illnesses, but I never thought it was a real problem.

However, during the pandemic, his terror about getting sick has reached new levels.

For the last year, he has refused to take off his face mask, even when we are at home—just the two of us. This is true even now that he is fully vaccinated for the virus.

He wears it to sleep, to do most of his bathroom activities, and, yes, even during lovemaking.

Continue reading “My Husband Won’t Take His Mask Off – Not Even For Sex by T. Bosch”

I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf

I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf

Hunh, but growing up, and even now, my fellow conservatives (some secular, some Christian) keep promoting the notion that married people are happier!, healthier! and just doing better! than single adults. But this woman’s editorial says, nah.

Not that I am in total agreement with all of this woman’s choices.

(Link): I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again

Excerpts:

When my husband died, I vowed to stay single in my after-life. Not because I was grieving, but because domestic partnership was something I had no interest in doing again.

My marriage was traumatic in a way that I wasn’t fully cognizant of until it ended abruptly and my need to raise my four children in a household free of toxicity became my first priority.

My vow to stay a single mother would not mean limiting myself sexually and emotionally. I decided I would keep lovers — non-committal but satisfying short-term pairings.

What I came to find was that this decision, which steered me away from the kind of relationships I was conditioned to accept as status quo, would lead to the least toxic and most beneficial relationships I have ever been in.

Continue reading “I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf”

The Mark Gungor and Sheila Gregoire Dust Up, vis a vis SSB Blog – I’ve blogged about Gungor for Years

The Mark Gungor and Sheila Gregoire Dust Up, vis a vis SSB Blog – I’ve blogged about Gungor for Years

Back when I was still on Twitter, I had to un-Follow Gregorie, because she sometimes “likes” anti-Republican type comments, which I got tired of seeing after months – her anti-conservative etc tweets that she “liked” would appear in my feed. I got tired of seeing them (I’m a conservative). 

I’ve blogged about Gungor before, going back years, on this blog. Here are some of my posts about the guy:

(Link): Kind of Bad Analogy by Christian Marriage Guru Mark Gungor

(Link): The Right One – Do Unmarried Christians Only Need Jesus in Common to Marry ?

(Link): Mark Gungor on Sexuality and Singles on Jan. 2013 TBN Guest Appearance

Gungor, as I’ve noted before on older posts at this blog (going back years) is a Christian marital advice person. He used to host marriage advice television shows on Christian network TBN.

And most of what I saw of his work had Gungor trading in secular, sexist stereotypes about women, and also promoting gendered stereotypes about men.

Continue reading “The Mark Gungor and Sheila Gregoire Dust Up, vis a vis SSB Blog – I’ve blogged about Gungor for Years”

Sex ‘Highly Important’ to a Quarter of Middle-Aged Women, Study Shows

Sex ‘Highly Important’ to a Quarter of Middle-Aged Women, Study Shows

Christian gender complementarians need to get with the program – first and foremost, toss complementarianism in the trash can where it belongs – but secondly, toss out the sexist, strange, or unbiblical beliefs they have about women’s libidos.

Complementarians enjoy living in a fantasy world where they falsely believe that only men want and enjoy sex, and that women don’t enjoy or want sex. This alleviates them of taking responsibility for pleasing women in the bedroom, I suspect.

(Link): Sex ‘Highly Important’ to a Quarter of Middle-Aged Women, Study Shows

Excerpts:

Sept 2020
by Chris Melore

CLEVELAND, Ohio — There’s a common belief that people lose interest in sex as they age. A new study finds this isn’t exactly true for many middle-aged women.

Researchers say sex still remains important to the daily lives of over 70 percent of women entering midlife.

The North American Menopause Society (NAMS) shows 27 percent of women continue to rate sex as a high priority throughout midlife. The report looks at more than 3,200 participants in the Study of Women’s Health Across the Nation.

Continue reading “Sex ‘Highly Important’ to a Quarter of Middle-Aged Women, Study Shows”