Today’s College Girls Explain Why They Are By-Passing Relationships To Be Big Ol’ Whores (partly because guys are man-whores) (Article)

(article) Today’s College Girls Explain Why They Are By-Passing Relationships To Be Big Ol’ Whores (partly because guys are man-whores)

And, of course, the guys who are happy to oblige their one night stand mentality are him-bo’s, or “man whores.”

(Link): College women reveal why they’re skipping relationships in favor of a hook up lifestyle

    Jul. 14, 2013 9:31pm
    Dave Urbanski

    The skyrocketing (Link): hook-up culture, particularly at U.S. colleges, is not a new thing. The anecdotes are plentiful…and plenty lurid.

    And the idea that the “game” has been driven by men is also a long-known element.

    What’s newly emerging is the rise of young women on the prowl for casual, uncommitted sex.

    The author of a compelling New York Times article, (Link): “Sex on Campus: She Can Play That Game, Too,” interviewed more than 60 female college students at the University of Pennsylvania—ambitious, results-oriented, academically busy—who’re also committed to remaining relationally unattached for the foreseeable future.

    Indeed, one of them notes, they see a big payback from the “low risk and low investment costs” of hooking up.

    The following are quoted declarations by some of these young women, all of whom agreed to be interviewed anonymously or by middle initial or only first name:

    -“‘I’ve always heard this phrase, ‘Oh, marriage is great, or relationships are great — you get to go on this journey of change together.’ That sounds terrible. I don’t want to go through those changes with you. I want you to have changed and become enough of your own person so that when you meet me, we can have a stable life and be very happy.”

    -“I definitely wouldn’t say I’ve regretted any of my one-night stands. I’m a true feminist. I’m a strong woman. I know what I want.”

    -“Ten years from now, no one will remember — I will not remember — who I have slept with. But I will remember, like, my transcript, because it’s still there. I will remember what I did. I will remember my accomplishments and places my name is hung on campus.”

    -“I wasn’t very drunk — I was close to sober. I’m like, ‘O.K., I could [lose my virginity] now. He’s superhot, I like him, he’s nice. But I’m not going to expect anything out of it, either.’ I could take the chance that one night I get really drunk and sleep with someone that I don’t want to sleep with, which probably is what would have ended up happening.” After she had sex with him, he walked her home in the morning. “Honestly, all of my friends, they’re super envious, because I came back with the biggest smile on my face. All of my friends are jealous, because I had such a great first experience.”

    -“There’s this hypothetical, ‘I would like to be in a relationship, because it’s like comforting and stable and supportive.’ But then, the conversations that I’ve had, it’s always like, ‘Well, then what do I do when we get to May, because we’re graduating, and so where do we go from there?’ That uncertainty is a huge sort of stop sign.”

    -“It’s kind of like a spiral. The girls adapt a little bit, because they stop expecting that they’re going to get a boyfriend — because if that’s all you’re trying to do, you’re going to be miserable. But at the same time, they want to, like, have contact with guys.”

    And for variety, a bit of a different perspective from another student:

    “People kind of discount” how “difficult it is to find someone that you even remotely like, let alone really fall for. And losing that can be just as impractical and harmful to yourself, if not more so, than missing out on a job or something like that. What else do you really have at the end of your life?”

Advertisements

Trend Du Juor & Partially Off-Base Solution To – Sex Trafficking

Trend Du Juor & Partially Off Base Solution To – Regarding: Sex Trafficking

I disagree a tad with this author’s solution to the problem of sex trafficking:

(Link): To Fight Sex Trafficking, Fight the Ideology That Creates It, Expert Says

Before I get to that quibble, I wanted to complain a moment about how conservative Christians get “trendy” with causes, sometimes like secular culture does. I have written of this weird, odd habit of Christians before, in several posts, this is just one example: (Link): Suffering and Misery Trend Du Jour

Remember in the 1980s, when there was Hands Across America and LiveAid massive, public fund raising events and rock concerts? There was a real obsession with feeding the hungry, and in particular, hungry dark-skinned Africans.

Disclaimer: I think it’s great if Christians, or whomever, wants to feed hungry, and yes, the Bible encourages it; and no, I’m not opposed people of any skin color helping people of whatever skin color. I’m not opposed to people saving little girls or teens from sex trafficking, or helping orphans.

What has driven me up the wall for years, though, is this narrow focus on classes of suffering, and that many white Christians want to help only dark- skinned Africans, or other highly specific groups, such as American homeless crack addicts.

Your average, middle class Christian refuses to simply help the people who God (if He even exists) puts in his or her path daily – like maybe your 76 year old widowed neighbor, let’s say.

Maybe your elderly neighbor is lonely. Why don’t you invite her over for a spot of tea? Why don’t you mow her lawn for her, instead of running downtown to hand sandwiches out to… drunk homeless people you don’t even know?

Why not help the people in your immediate vicinity who need your help, rather than twisting your hands in concern over starving orphans you’ve never met on another continent, and mailing checks to “Feed Africa” charities you see advertised on television ministries?

There are Christian churches in Africa – but American Christians continue to behave as though there are no Christians in Africa.

I have noticed in the last five years an uptick in interest among Christians in the human (sex) trafficking situation. I’m sure human sex trafficking has been going on since time immemorial; why are Christians only showing interest in it lately?

Varieties of human suffering are not like fashions, one day 1860s hoop skirts, then 1950s poodle skirts, then polyester leisure suits, bell bottoms, then on to parachute pants and Members Only jackets. But Christians treat suffering in this way.

While I still see a lot of “feed the African” appeals on Christian TV shows, the overall spotlight seems to be on sex trafficking now. The attitude now seems to be, “Let’s forget about the starving African kids, now, the cooler, hip brand of human misery is six year old girls being sold as whores to adults, so let’s focus all our energy on that.”

Here are excerpts from ‘To Fight Sex Trafficking, Fight the Ideology That Creates It, Expert Says’

    By Napp Nazworth, Christian Post Reporter
    February 25, 2013

    PHILADELPHIA – In the fight against sex trafficking, the Church needs to address the root causes – the ideas in culture that break the linkage sex has to love, responsibility and children, Lisa Thompson, liaison for the abolition of sexual trafficking for the Salvation Army, said during a Friday presentation at The Justice Conference.

    “Sex trafficking is a battle of ideas,” Thompson explained during a pre-conference session on sex trafficking. The Church in America too often does not do enough to address the ideology upon which sex trafficking is based – “an ideology that disassociates sex from love, responsibility and children.”

    American culture embraces this idea, she continued, and it is “spewed upon us” by “media elites in our culture,” such as movies, books and TV shows.

    “One of the reasons sex trafficking is flourishing is that we, as a Church, do not do enough to address the ideology that disassociates sex from love,” Thompson explained.

    … “The Church is uniquely situated to do prevention,” Morgan said, through youth leadership and spiritual formation programs.

I appreciate that both ladies, Thompson and Morgan, are trying to fight this evil, I truly do. However.

With 80% -(or whatever the high rate is, stats are in other posts on my blog)- of conservative Christians fornicating (that is, having sex outside of marriage these days), and I think 80% is also a recent number I saw for number of conservative Christian men who are addicted to pornography…

And given that for decades now, preachers and Christian books have been telling Christians ‘sex is for marriage only,’ ‘don’t divorce sex from love,’ and all the rest of the usual sex shtick one hears from conservative Christianity mouthpieces…

If such propaganda and argumentation was not enough to keep Christian themselves chaste, virgins until marriage, and to keep men (and now, some women) away from pornography (and it has not for many of them, though certainly some have remained sexually pure), how oh how do these anti- sex trafficking women speakers expect the same rationale and arguments to work against sex trafficking of people?

I’ve seen a few secular news articles about sex trafficking, and some of the men who were caught soliciting sex from kids were employed as PREACHERS. That’s right, men whose job was to love people and spread the Gospel.

I have previous posts on this blog with lists of links to news articles about “Christians,” including preachers, who have been arrested for raping children, raping women, murdering people and similar, horrid things.

Regarding this quote from the article:

American culture embraces this idea [an ideology that disassociates sex from love, responsibility and children.”], she [Thompson] continued, and it is “spewed upon us” by “media elites in our culture,” such as movies, books and TV shows.

I hate to break it to her, but it’s not only “media elite” and secular movies, books and TV shows which have cheapened sex, but it is also the Christian church, certain preachers, and Christian culture in America today, that has cheapened sex and sexual purity and sexual self control. Rather than restate my arguments here on those points, I invite you to read my previous posts on those issues:

(Link): The Contemporary Church Undervalues Celibacy / Virginity [Christians do not support virginity, celibacy, or even traditional marriage, even though they say they do]

(Link): 50- Something- Year- Old Baptist Preacher Simulates Masturbation during church service in front of kids, teens, and adults – and the adults just sit there, do nothing to stop him. Same Preacher later arrested for statutory rape of teen girl

(Link): Preachers Who Use Strippers, Hula Girls, Topless Hunky Men, and Strip Poles During Church Services and Give Sex Diplomas to Teens – Yes, Really

(Link): [Christian personality with daily TV show] Pat Robertson Expects Men to Commit Sexual Sin (and it’s not the first time)

(Link – hosted on WND.com): The Church of Sex – mentions sex obsessed preacher Mark Driscoll and Ed Young Jr.

Excerpt:

    Exclusive: David Kupelian challenges Pastor Mark Driscoll about his ‘obsession’

    There’s a new form of Christianity sweeping the U.S. Its main focus: sex.

    …And while there is a surprising number of preachers, teachers and Christian websites today whose main focus is sex, the most prominent is Mark Driscoll, founding pastor of the wildly popular Seattle mega-church Mars Hill Church.

    …By the way, as runner-up for top mega-church pastor in “The Church of Sex,” I’d nominate Ed Young, senior pastor of Dallas-based Fellowship Church, who recently staged “a 24-hour bed-in with his wife atop his church,” a stunt designed to publicize his just-released New York Times best-seller, “Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy With Your Spouse.”

    … However, let’s just state the obvious: Mark Driscoll is utterly obsessed with sex.

    He tells, for instance, the following story of one female member of his congregation who – and I quote – “brought her husband to Christ” by giving him oral sex, in accord with Driscoll’s specific pastoral advice to her. Here’s how Driscoll, during a Nov. 18, 2007, sermon in Edinburgh, Scotland, described this particular husband’s “conversion”:
    [(Link): Read the rest here]

Again, I appreciate that Thompson and the other lady mentioned in the article are speaking out against human sex trafficking, but I do not think telling Christians to remember or spread the word that sex should not be divorced from love will do much of anything to decrease the selling of females for sex.

Conservative Christians have been telling other Christians, and secular society (at least the teenagers), that sex is for marriage only for several decades now, and that has not exactly diminished the number of people – as teens or as adults – having sex outside of marriage, cheating on partners once they do marry, or using pornography.

I fail to see how the same strategy could be all that helpful in fighting sex trafficking.

A lot of Christians today actually mock and ridicule or criticize the idea that any adult can practice sexual self control (I refer you again to my previous post: (Link): The Contemporary Church Undervalues Celibacy / Virginity [Christians do not support virginity, celibacy, or even traditional marriage, even though they say they do]).

These are Christians doing the mocking and questioning of sexual purity/ celibacy / virginity these days, mind you, not just secular society, where one would expect to find it. You can’t win an anti sex trafficking situation when even Christians have thrown in the towel on sexual purity concepts, which they have.

See also (on this blog):

(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

New Study Released: Cheaters: More American Married Women Admit to Adultery (links)

Cheaters: More American Women Admit to Adultery

But golly gee, secular and conservative Christian culture, I thought all that most women wanted was “security,” and “emotional intimacy” and didn’t care about sex!

And, goodness gee whiz, conservative Christians, I also thought that married people never, ever commit sexual sin, especially not wives (only males have a libido, am I right?) – only un-married women are harlots who sleep around. These articles say that just ain’t so.

(Link): THE PERCENTAGE OF WIVES HAVING EXTRA MARITAL AFFAIRS ROSE ALMOST 40 PERCENT

(Link ): Cheaters: More American Women Admit to Adultery

    By Frank Bass –
    Jul 1, 2013 7:00 PM CT

    American women, who trail men when it comes to making money, leading companies and accumulating wealth, are closing the gap on at least one measure: cheating on their spouses.

    The percentage of wives having affairs rose almost 40 percent during the last two decades to 14.7 percent in 2010, while the number of men admitting to extramarital affairs held constant at 21 percent, according to the latest data from the National Opinion Research Center’s General Social Survey.

    The narrowing gap, reported by a sociologist at Auburn University at Montgomery, reflects multiple trends. Wives with their own jobs have less to lose economically from a divorce, and social media have made it easier to engage in affairs.

    “Men are still more likely to cheat than women,” said Yanyi Djamba, director of the AUM Center for Demographic Research. “But the gender gap is closing.”

    Blacks, executives and managers, and Southerners were most likely to report extramarital affairs to the 40-year-old survey, the oldest continuous source of data on American behavior.

    The main impetus behind extramarital affairs was predictable, Djamba said: One in four men described their marriages as “not very happy,” more than twice the number of wives who rationalized their adultery that way.

    The survey results lend support to one researcher’s argument that what’s been presumed about female sexuality for centuries may be wrong. Daniel Bergner, the author of the newly published book “What Do Women Want?,” said cultural expectations have prevented women from having more affairs.

    Sex Drive

    “Women are programmed to seek out one good man, and men never have been really well-suited to monogamy, right?” Bergner said in a telephone interview. An increasing body of science suggests that women’s sex drives are as powerful as men’s libidos, Bergner said, though they’ve been repressed by thousands of years of male-dominated culture.

    Alton Abramowitz, president of the Chicago-based American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers, said he’s seen an increase in the number of divorce cases sparked by cheating wives.

    “We always had a few cases with women, but they were much more discreet about it,” he said. “In the past 10 years or so, though, there’s been an uptick in those cases coming through our office.”

    More women may feel free to cheat because the economic consequences aren’t as dire as they were when more women stayed at home, said Pepper Schwartz, a University of Washington sociologist who writes “The Naked Truth” column for AARP, the largest group representing the elderly in the U.S.

    Better Mate

    “They can afford the potential consequences of an affair, with higher incomes and more job prospects,” she said in an e-mail. “They have more economic independence and may meet a better class of mate.”

    The ease of online affairs and the prevalence of computer use among younger women may be responsible for a large share of the increase, Schwartz said.

    “Think Ashley Madison,” she wrote, referring to the online affair-matchmaking service [for married people].

    The website has grown since its 2002 creation to serve 3.5 million active users speaking nine languages in 26 countries, said Noel Biderman, the chief executive officer of Toronto-based Avid Life Media Inc., which operates Ashley Madison.

    “There’s been a cultural shift,” Biderman said, “and female infidelity is very linked to cultural change.”

    Younger Cheaters

    The website’s usage patterns by age highlight the shifts, he said. The ratio of males to females is greatest among users older than 65, with 14 men for every woman. The ratio is 4-to-1 among users in their 50s, 3-to-1 for spouses in their 40s, and evenly divided among people using Ashley Madison in their 30s.

    The number of female affairs still lags behind male dalliances. For every two women like actress Meg Ryan, who exchanged cheating accusations with her ex-husband Dennis Quaid, or Paula Broadwell, the biographer-turned-mistress of former CIA Director David Petraeus, there are three men like former President Bill Clinton, pro golfer Tiger Woods or onetime South Carolina governor, and now U.S. congressman, Mark Sanford, who have been the focus of much-publicized reports of extramarital affairs.

    As the nation’s median age increases, changes in attitudes about women engaging in sex with someone not their spouse may cause the gap to narrow more, Bergner said.

    “Once you strip away the stigma from the equation, interest in casual sex is about equal for women and men,” he said. “So we men may have a lot to worry about.”

Continue reading “New Study Released: Cheaters: More American Married Women Admit to Adultery (links)”

The Chaste Ways of Female Politicians – but some have extra marital affairs (Article)

The Chaste Ways of Female Politicians (Article)

(Link): The Chaste Ways of Female Politicians

    Women in office don’t dare to get themselves into tawdry situations—but that could be changing

    By HANNA ROSIN
    Fifty years into the sexual revolution, why is it that female politicians don’t get embroiled in tawdry scandals nearly as much as their male peers do?

    Sue Myrick, running for re-election as mayor of Charlotte, N.C., confessed to a relationship with her husband while he was married to another woman (and managed to win anyway). State Rep. Katherine Bryson of Utah was caught with a lover on a surveillance camera and opted not to seek re-election.

    … Women, by contrast, are said to be more altruistic and collaborative, seeking power so that they can share it with others. Plus men find women with power threatening, which leaves them with fewer options.

    There might be some truth to all this, but it isn’t enough to explain something so complex as transgression and desire, especially when gender roles are changing so rapidly. I imagine that the reason powerful women have fewer affairs is because they don’t dare to, not yet.

    … Women in high positions are a relatively new phenomenon.

    …. Today it is still hard to imagine a middle-aged married woman bouncing back from a full-fledged scandal, though men do it all the time. When Nikki Haley, now governor of South Carolina, ran for office in 2010, two men swore publicly they’d had affairs with her. But enough voters decided not to believe them, which was the only way Gov. Haley could win the race.

    Will it always be so? Not if we read the latest signs. According to the General Social Survey, younger women are cheating on their spouses almost as much as men: About 20% of men and 15% of women under 35 say they have ever been unfaithful. Women, like men, now spend late hours at the office and travel for business; they can text or email themselves into an intimate corner just as easily as men can.

    -—Ms. Rosin is the author of “The End of Men and the Rise of Women,” out in paperback this fall.

——————-
Related posts, this blog:

(Link): Married Women Engage in Sexual Sin – and most men in denial particularly Christian conservatives

(Link): Cheating Married Christian Women and Lessons I Take Away – and Being a Virgin Does Not Guarantee God will Send You a Spouse

(Link): Glad I’m Not Married series (another example): ‘Help! My Husband Caught Me Cheating and Now Wants an Open Marriage.’

(Link): Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, More Examples – and Women and Porn

(Link): Married Christian Preacher and Mistress Try to Kill Wife – Married Christians not more stable, mature, or godly than Singles

Confusing or Downer Messages from Charles Stanley (TV Baptist Preacher) Why I no longer watch In Touch that often

Confusing or Downer Messages from Charles Stanley (TV Baptist Preacher) Why I no longer watch In Touch that often

Charles Stanley certainly sends mixed messages. In a broadcast tonight, he said God wants believers to “prosper,” but on previous episodes, Stanley has mentioned God doesn’t care if followers are “happy.” I see the two as being similar; to be prosperous is to be happy. Maybe the concepts are not alike 100% of the time, but they are a little synonymous.

The entire message of his sermon tonight was something like, “The Courage to Obey.”

On Stanley’s weekly TV show, he frequently repeats a line he heard from his grandpa or someone when he was a kid, which was: “Obey God, and leave all the consequences to him.”

Not only am I becoming more agnostic as time goes by, but I’ve gotten to the point where I can’t stomach watching Christian TV shows I used to rather enjoy, including Stanley’s “In Touch” program.

I’ve noticed Stanley has the extremely annoying habit of blaming hurting people for their problems in life (when they write him on his TV show with questions about problems they are having), in addition to his preoccupation with having people “obey” God.

I read a few years ago that Stanley’s yearly income from his church is $300k – $400,000.

I understand the man grew up in poverty:

    That survival spirit was second nature for Charles, whose father died when he was 9 months old and who grew up so poor that he learned about Santa Claus the Christmas morning he discovered in his stocking the orange that had been in the refrigerator the night before. He lived in 17 homes by his 8th birthday.

    (Source: CNN article)

But it’s rather unseemly that someone earning 400k a year, who has been earning that amount for several years now, is and has been lecturing people who are unemployed or under-employed on tithing (Stanley has actually said on prior shows that people who don’t tithe are probably “living in sin”), or on tonight’s show, he sort of nit picked people for not tithing, saying they don’t trust God, so that is why they don’t give their funds to a church.

Considering that (if there is a God), God’s answer is sometimes “NO” to people’s petitions, I don’t blame people for not trusting God with their finances, or with other things.

Stanley is also horrible on mental health topics, and he has gone 180 degrees on that topic.

At one point, Stanley expressed sympathy for folks who have depression and anxiety and who need to see a medical doctor and take pills for it, but in broadcasts in the past few years, he has come out in complete opposition to those views: he chides Christians who have mental problems who see doctors and who take anti- depressant, anti- anxiety medications.

Stanley’s show used to be a bit encouraging, but in the past 5 – 7 years, his sermons have gotten depressing, and he blames people for their problems more and more, even if they did nothing to cause their problems.

There is more emphasis in Stanley’s attitudes and sermons on what YOU can do for God than on what Jesus did for you at the cross.

I’m not sure why I even bother to occasionally flip the channel to watch his show anymore. There are weekeneds when I have skipped it altogether.

Joseph Prince (despite being a WOFer) at least preaches regularly on the grace of God via Jesus.

And for all the lambasting he gets from conservative Christians, at least 90% of Joel Osteen’s sermons remind you that God loves you and is on your side. I’d much rather hear those types of upbeat sermons than depressing, semi-legalistic, “God doesn’t care about your happiness, you need to obey God, and what have you done for God lately” type sermons one gets from Charles Stanley, or John Hagee and others.

Some Advertisers Have Caught on that Women are Visually Oriented

Some Advertisers Have Caught on that Women are Visually Oriented

I’ve been seeing more of these kinds of commercials the last few years; these commericals of sexy and/or shirtless men are being directed towards women…. some advertisers have figured out something that most Christian and secular dating advice books, blogs, and magazine columns have yet to admit to….

The Zesty Guy Says Hey – KRAFT Dressing Commercial

Velveeta Cheesy Skillets

Liquid Plumbr commercial:

Flushing horny housewive’s drain: a plumber’s dream

“I’m hear to snake your drain”

—————————————————
Previous posts in this series:

Part 1 (Link):
Boy Bands, Rock Singers, and Other High School Crushes – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented

Ryan Gosling and Shirtless, Buff Cowboy Photos on Social Media – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented (Part 2)

— Related Posts This Blog–

(Link): Superman, Man Candy -and- Christian Women Are Visual And Enjoy Looking At Built, Hot, Sexy Men

(Link): Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

(Link): Women Are Visually Oriented Too – Reminder 1

(Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link): Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]

(Link): Married Women Engage in Sexual Sin – and most men in denial particularly Christian conservatives

(Link): More ‘Men Are Visual’ Baloney, Discussed at Another Blog

(Link): Conservative Christian Sexist Immature Imbecilic Pressure on Women to Look Pretty and Skinny and to Put Out Sexually

Ryan Gosling and Shirtless, Buff Cowboy Photos on Social Media – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented (Part 2)

Ryan Gosling and Shirtless, Buff Cowboy Photos on Social Media – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented (Part 2)

Part 1 (Link):
Boy Bands, Rock Singers, and Other High School Crushes – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented

As I said in Part 1:

    Conservative Christians and Non Christians continue to portray all men as “visually oriented” and as sex obsessed weirdos, so if you want a man, single ladies, they say, you better be stick thin, have a perfect body, and grow your hair long.

    Meanwhile, women are depicted in secular culture and from pulpits and in dating books by preachers as only being “emotional” and finding interest in knitting and petting kittens – never are women said to care about what a man looks like, and women, at least the married ones, are portrayed as sexless, lifeless ragdolls who don’t want sex.

    The problem with this is that none of it is true for all members of both genders, nor am I certain it’s true of even the majority of them.

    The fact is (and I have said this before and will say it again in future posts…), women – and this includes CHRISTIAN ones as well- like sexy looking, buff men.

As a teen and twenty-something, not only did I see women drool over sexy lead male singers of rock bands, but as an adult in my early 40s, I see women from their 20s into their 50s regularly – REGULARLY – posting shirtless photos of movie actor Ryan Gosling and muscular, shirtless male models dressed in chaps on Facebook and Pinterest.

You cannot throw a rock on Pinterest without seeing photos like this, almost daily (photo bottom left, actor Ryan Gosling):

Movie Actor Ryan Gosling
Movie Actor Ryan Gosling

Seriously. If you do a search for “Ryan Gosling” on Pinterest, you will get photo after photo of the guy. Try it: (Link): “Ryan Gosling” on Pinterest.

Salon. com (Link): mentions,

    …Pinterest’s U.S. demographics shake out very differently — hovering between an impressive 68.2 percent and an overwhelming 83 percent female audience.

    …Even a cursory glance at Pinterest makes it easy to see why so many of its critics have been dismissive about it – specifically about its girlishness.

    In Salon earlier this year, Jude Stewart called the site ”basically online scrapbooking.”

    Slate’s Farhad Manjoo summed it [Pinterest] up in a feature called “Cupcakes, Boots, and Shirtless Jake Gyllenhaal,” wherein he admitted, “I just don’t get it.”

Here’s a representative Jake Gyllenhaal photo taken from Pinterest (below right):

Jake Gyllenhaal
Jake Gyllenhaal

I have a 50-something married friend who occasionally posts photos like this one on Facebook (and she is a Christian too – photo below to the left, shirtless cowboy):

Cowboy
Cowboy

Whereupon several of her adult female friends (some of whom are married) hit the thumbs up link to “Like” the shirtless cowboy photos and fawn all over the guy under her photo, to say how hot he is.

I actually found that particular cowboy photo via a Pinterest board called “Eye Candy,” by a woman named Lisa. Her entire “Eye Candy” board consists of young, muscular men dressed as cowboys, many of whom are shirtless.

A few years ago, a series of movies came out called “Twilight,” which were based on the books of the same name. The books – and the movies – focus on a buff vampire named Ed Cullen and a teen named Jacob, who is also a werewolf.

Females of all ages were going bonkers over the actors who played Cullen and particularly Jacob.

The hysteria rose to such a fever pitch, the media began to notice and began doing stories on how 40-something married mothers were lusting after then- 17- year- old Taylor Lautner (the actor who plays Jacob). In most of one of the films, Taylor Lautner runs around shirtless, showing off his toned physique.

Women in their 40s were showing up to Twiglight openings carrying posters of Taylor Lautner shirtless, screaming his name.

Here are a few links about the older woman lusting after Twilight actors phenomenon (there were many more stories several years ago, discussing the entire situation, not just this one ‘panty’ incident, but I did not save any of those links):

(Link): [17 year old] Taylor Lautner Freaked Out By Older [40 year old woman] Panty-Less ‘Twilight’ Fan

(Link): EXCLUSIVE: ‘Twilight’s’ Taylor Lautner Harassed By Crazy Older Fan

    August 2009

    “Twilight” hottie Taylor Lautner, who plays hunk Jacob Black in the Vampire series, isn’t just a popular pin-up for tweens and teens across the world. The 17-year-old admits he has also had to contend with an agressive older female fan attempting to do some well, inappropriate things.

    “I had this 40-year-old woman trying to find a way to take her panties off for me to sign them. They had my name imprinted on them,” a somewhat amused yet kind of freaked out Lautner told Tarts last weekend. “So that was kind of strange … but you can’t expect anything from these ‘Twilight’ fans.”

(Link): Older women crave ‘New Moon’ vampires

    November 2009
    By Breeanna Hare, CNN

    They don’t call it “Twi Crack” for nothing.

    Lisa Hansen, for example, thought she had lost her mind the first time she read “Twilight.” Partly because she’s 36.

    “I was absolutely worried that something was wrong with me,” the Utah mother of two said. “I just couldn’t put it down — I was obsessed completely.”

    … Since so many of “Twilight” fan sites were overrun with teenagers, adult women have erected their own digital havens for fans who could take only so much of the “OMG Edward’s so hot!!!” reaction to “Twilight.”

    There’s Hansen’s Twilight Moms Web site, which she started for married women and mothers who want to revel in their “Twilight” fandom, and sites like 49-year-old Patricia Kopicki’s, which is for any adult “Twilight” fan, parent or not.

    “Many of us [fans] are happily married with kids, some as old as the male leads in ‘Twilight.‘ Some of them jokingly refer to themselves as ‘cougars’ because of this, but it’s used as a humorous way of saying we realize we are old enough to be Robert Pattinson’s mother [and] we still find him attractive,” Kopicki said.

    … Historically, any woman nearing menopause was expected to be at home, raising kids and uninterested in sex, said Valerie Gibson, who claims credit for the concept of the “cougar.”

    “I wrote a book about older women and younger men in 1990, and let me tell you, the world was not ready for older women having sex with younger men,” Gibson said. “Older women have always been indoctrinated to believe that they would get to a certain age and they were no longer wanted and sexy and desired. I think older women who have found their sexuality have always lusted after younger men but they were never, never allowed to say so.”

Now why in the holy hell do you suppose women, including grown women, past the age of 35, and some are married with children, run around collecting, sharing, and pinning photos of Ryan Gosling and shirtless cowboys on Pinterest, Facebook and other social media, and drooling over teen age actors in vampire movies and posting photos of them on sites and discussing their bodies in detail… unless of course they are “visually oriented,” “visually stimulated” and enjoy looking at good-looking guys who are obviously in shape?

Women are not collecting and oogling these hunky man photos for sheer kicks, and they are not pondering the man’s inner qualities, or wondering how often he reads the Bible or attends church, or if he graduated college with a 4.0.

Notice too, in some of the stories I included above, we see married women lusting after teen-aged male movie stars: Christians regularly tell adult singles if they want to get married, God will only grant them a spouse if they are sinless, if they are not immature. This is false.

We see example after example of married people who engage in sexual sin and behave in an immature fashion. I, as a never- married 40- something woman, while I do appreciate a fine looking man (hello movie star Hugh Jackman!) do not habitually sit around giggling at sexy photos of Hugh Jackman, or trying to meet him so he can sign my underwear – unlike some of the “Twilight Moms” mentioned in the articles above, with the objects of their affections. Married people are not more mature, self controlled, or sexually pure than singles.
_____________________________________________________________
— Related Posts This Blog–

(Link): Superman, Man Candy -and- Christian Women Are Visual And Enjoy Looking At Built, Hot, Sexy Men

(Link): Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

(Link): Women Are Visually Oriented Too – Reminder 1

(Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link): Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]

(Link): Married Women Engage in Sexual Sin – and most men in denial particularly Christian conservatives

(Link): More ‘Men Are Visual’ Baloney, Discussed at Another Blog

(Link): Conservative Christian Sexist Immature Imbecilic Pressure on Women to Look Pretty and Skinny and to Put Out Sexually

Link Dump – Virginity in Venezuela, Christian Sex Hang Ups and Gender Hang Ups – other Links

Link Dump – Virginity in Venezuela, Christian Sex Hang Ups

Link 1. From Christian Post:
(Link 1): How Do You Know If You Were Supposed to Marry Your Spouse?

Link 2. Yeah, good luck with that – I’ve already given up on the “virginity until marriage” propaganda spewed out by Christians.

(Link 2): 5,000 Venezuelan Youths Attend Luis Palau Fest; Thousands Commit to Sexual Purity

    By Jessica Martinez , CP Contributor
    July 11, 2013

    Some 45,000 people attended a youth festival hosted by evangelist Luis Palau in Venezuela last weekend, with thousands committing to sexual purity until marriage during the event.

    Festival goers descended upon the bicentennial fairgrounds of Barquisimeto, Venezuela, for Juventud Libre 2013, where Palau preached about faith and change under the theme, “Venezuela, open your heart to hope.” The event focused on offering an optimistic outlook for the nation’s future in light of its current political and social unrest, which caused 4,000 youths to dedicate their lives to God while the crowd chanted “yes to sexual purity.”

Link 3 discusses:

Churches depicting women (even married ones, so that’s a refreshing change of pace, usually it’s the singles) as sexual temptresses, and, in another rarity, one church instructs males to keep their shirts buttoned up (usually it’s the females who get the insipid “modesty” lectures), and sexual hang-ups by various churches are addressed.

I don’t condone abuse or neglect of women or children, but, I do have to commend this one Christian cult for at least pointing out that motherhood has been made into an idol by some Christians; they are at least right on that score.

(Link 3): Spiritual Abuse in Churches From book about Church abuse; author made the whole book available for free online.

    Chapter 7

    …Women of C-U ministries were totally submissive to males and were barred from leadership or decision-making roles, as well as from work outside the home. Pam says that, “It got to the point where what I had to say usually got suppressed because I knew it was a waste of time to discuss it. I’d lose.”

    …Unfortunately, the harshness of the discipline extended to the children as well. Pam says, “I could cry over some of the spankings they received. Bruised bottoms. They were even calloused.”

    … In December of 1987, ten-year-old Aaron Norman died as result of medical neglect and a beating administered by his father and Doug Kleber. The boy suffered from juvenile diabetes but his parents did not obtain medical care for him, preferring to rely on the healing power of prayer.

    When his physical condition worsened and prayer did not seem to be effective, elders of the church were consulted to determine what the problem was.

    According to a story in the June 21, 1988 issue of the Chicago Tribune, the elders determined that Aaron had sinned. The sin was masturbation, but Aaron would not confess to the sin.

    His father decided to spank Aaron with a board because the Holy Spirit had told him that he had been masturbating. As the Spokane County deputy prosecutor stated, “His father and the elders ‘rebuked’ Aaron to confess, but he wouldn’t. Aaron’s father and Kleber then beat the child . . . A wooden paddle was used at some point until Aaron confessed. On Sunday morning when his parents awoke, Aaron was dead. There were severe bruises on his buttocks.”

    [Regarding another wacko church:]

    …Like many other abusive churches, the Two-by-Two’s impose a restrictive and rigorous life-style on the membership. Women adherents shun makeup and wear long, uncut hair wrapped tightly in buns on the tops of their heads. Jewelry is proscribed, while plain dresses are the norm. Slacks, shorts, and sleeveless blouses are forbidden in public.

    They submit to the men of the group who tend to wear dark-colored clothes and carry black-covered King James Versions of the Bible. Marriages are performed by civil authorities only, since church “workers” do not register with state officials.

    Conformity to a strict life-style is expected of all children and young people in the Truth. They are discouraged from participating in after-school sports and other social activities. Their circle of friends does not extend beyond the group.

    Continue reading “Link Dump – Virginity in Venezuela, Christian Sex Hang Ups and Gender Hang Ups – other Links”

Article: ‘Getting to the Root of Female Masturbation’ / Also: Virgin woman gets next to no sex in marriage

Article: Getting to the Root of Female Masturbation / Also: Virgin Lady gets next to no sex in marriage

Interesting. Only about five days after I published my last post about female sexuality, with a link to an article specifically about the practice of masturbation by females, Christianity Today publishes this page:

Link: Getting to the Root of Female Masturbation – CT (Christianity Today)

About five days ago, I wrote this post on this blog:

Link: Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

Which had this link in it:
“For Women, Is Masturbation the Last Sex Taboo?”

This CT post about female masturbation is interesting on two levels:

One, because this is the second or third time that Christianity Today has published an article very similar to a blog post I’ve made to my blog here, and within days.

Secondly, because it is admitting that women even have sexual drives. This is not common. Christians (and secularists) only acknowledge male sexuality and libido, never female.

Regarding the CT editorial, “Getting to the Root of Female Masturbation” – who cares if women masturbate or not? The editorial, written by a Marlena Graves, seems against the practice, or maybe I am misunderstanding, and the author is only opposed to it in cases where it has become a crutch.

For Christians who are utterly opposed to masturbation in all cases, no matter the motive or circumstance, would these Christians rather have females (and males) practice this, or actually go out and literally have sex with another human being, i.e., commit actual fornication?

By the way, there is an interesting comment on the CT page – you know how Christians promise you sexual thrills unlimited if only you marry first, and save sex for marriage?… Well, that is a lie.

Many people wait for marriage to have sex, but their sex life is horrible, or they never get to have sex because their partner has no interest in sex.

Here is another example, by a “Mary Smith” in the comment section on CT – This is a comment by a woman who stayed a virgin until she got married, but her husband is rarely interested in sex, so they hardly ever have sex with each other:

    Mary Smith
    April 22, 2013

    I had to comment on this article. I am a 44 year old married woman, but my husband does not initiate sex very often. We went 4 months one time and I finally said something! It is so humiliating to feel unwanted.

    This area has been a struggle for us since we got married. We were both virgins but he actually said to me on our honeymoon, I don’t know what is wrong, but I am just not interested.

    For the first time in my life I wanted to kill myself.

    I had done it God’s way and we both had saved ourselves and it just fell apart.

    I went for the first six years with no orgasm.

    It was tormenting. When we would have sex he would “operate”just fine. I finally heard the Lord say, you are going to have to figure it out for yourself or it’s not going to get fixed.

    I was just like Peter, No Lord! I have never done anything like that. But I was so desperate I did figure it out. I really love my husband, but I still have to resort to pleasuring myself at times because he can go for a month and I can’t.

The older I get and I have lived my own life, and see testimonies by people such as “Mary Smith” above, I am more than okay with ignoring what other Christians say about most areas of morality, including sex.

And a lot of the Christians (such as preachers) who run around preaching virginity- until- marriage are the very same degenerates who hire prostitutes, had sex before marriage themselves, or are porn addicts. Yet they wag their fingers in my face, and the faces of other unmarried Christians, and tell us to abstain from sex. And some also prohibit masturbation in addition to that.

There is so much lunacy and stupidity taught by Christians about sex, marriage, and dating, I disregard it myself; I no longer follow the advice of Christians on any of these topics, not from famous preachers, not book authors… I still read it from time to time to critique it, but I don’t follow the advice myself.
—————
Related posts this blog:

(Link): Letter to Advice Columnist: Husband Upset That Wife Masturbates – Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Hot Regular Sex For Both or Either Partner, Contra Usual Christian Claims

(Link): Jason the Christian’s Sexless Marriage – Christians promise hot regular steamy married sex but it isn’t true

A Case Against Early Marriage by Ashley Moore (editorial)

A Case Against Early Marriage by Ashley Moore (editorial)

Read it here:
(Link): A Case Against Early Marriage by Ashley Moore (editorial)

Excerpts:

    Eight years later, I’m still not married. I’d tell you it’s been awesome, but you probably wouldn’t believe me. Society, and particularly the church, seems so uncomfortable with singleness. By the time we hit quarter-life, friendly faces are ready to pair us off at any moment, as if being single necessarily means we’re incomplete. Some even come at us with warnings that we’ll become “leftovers” if we don’t find our mate soon. (Ask me if I’ve ever been called leftovers. I dare you.)

Then come the blog posts and articles, with stats and theories on why all our friends who ended up marrying their high school or college boyfriends got it right. The 2009 Christianity Today cover story, “The Case for Early Marriage,” was just the beginning. This wedding season brought another bump in pro-early-marriage arguments in Christian publications and mainstream magazines.

…This line of thinking remains risky, presenting marriage as such a positive move for 20somethings when so many of them aren’t ready. Surrounded by proponents of young love and young marriage, I felt a pressure beyond my years to make a commitment, and I am so glad I didn’t give in to those expectations, having grown up and grown closer to God in the years since.

…The statistics about the sex lives of single adults, including single Christians, are grim. According to a recent study in Relevant magazine, 80 percent of Christian singles in their 20s have had sex, and 64 percent had done so in the past year. By age 20, 25 percent of single women in the general public have cohabited, but by age 30, 74 percent of women have done so.

So yes, early-marriage champs, the longer we stayed unmarried, the greater our chances of sexual screwups. You win on that one.

But sex isn’t enough to hold up an argument for early marriage (though we hear it (Link): again and again).

Single Christians have the opportunity to throw the curve—to demonstrate that a life devoted to honoring Christ is in fact possible outside of the binds of marriage.

Exercising restraint and resolve to live a biblical singlehood speaks volumes to our fellow single men and women who treat sex as a casual thing. Living out Christian singlehood might also instill a bit of hope in the hearts of our nonbelieving friends; hope that there is more to life in your 20s and 30s than sex on the first date and late night booty calls. And trust me, folks, God is sovereign in our singlehood.

Marriage isn’t the solution to the immaturity of today’s 20-somethings. We don’t become grownups by putting a ring on it. My prayer for my generation is that we can grow into more mature followers of Christ, living as brothers and sisters in the faith as we walk through this journey.

…God doesn’t give us a timeline for when we need to marry; never do we reach cutoff point and become “leftovers.”…

Read the rest by clicking here.
———————-
—–Related posts, this blog:—-

(Link): Male Preacher Marries For First Time At Age 44

(Link): The Nauseating Push by Evangelicals for Early Marriage

(Link):  Let’s Kiss Dating Hello – Ring By Spring Culture at Christian Campuses, by N. Sheets

(Link): Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex – Husband is Sexless for Eight Years (article)

(Link):  Salvation Army Bans Duggar / Quivering Cult’s ‘Retreat’ (Called ‘Get Them Married’) that Promoted Arranged Marriages for Teen Girls – Quivering Advocates Are Anti-Adult Singleness and Anti-Celibacy 

(Link): A Response by Colon to Regnerus Re: Misguided Early Marriage Propaganda

(Link): Rush to early marriage feeds Utah’s higher-than-average divorce rate (article)

(Link): Marrying Young – from “Stuff Christian Culture Likes,” by Stephanie Drury

(Link): Christian Teachings on Relationships: One Reason Singles Are Remaining Single (even if they want to get married)

(Link): Secular Media Also Pushing Early Marriage

(Link): Links: Delayed Marriage and How Straight People Paved the Way for Gay Marriage

Boy Bands, Rock Singers, and Other High School Crushes – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented

Boy Bands and Rock Singers – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented (from the time they are teens, too)

Conservative Christians and Non Christians continue to portray all men as “visually oriented” and as sex obsessed weirdos, so if you want a man, single ladies, they say, you better be stick thin, have a perfect body, and grow your hair long.

Meanwhile, women are depicted in secular culture and from pulpits and in dating books by preachers as only being “emotional” and finding interest in knitting and petting kittens (and I do mean literal kittens there; that phrase is not a euphemism) – never are women said to care about what a man looks like, and women, at least the married ones, are portrayed as sexless, lifeless ragdolls who don’t want sex.

The problem with this is that none of it is true for all members of both genders, nor am I certain it’s true of even the majority of them.

The fact is (and I have said this before and will say it again in future posts – yes, I am planing a part two to this post), women – and this includes CHRISTIAN ones as well- like sexy looking, buff men.

Christian women are not turned on by stick-thin, toothless, smelly, balding, or obese males. And we wouldn’t settle for an ugly fatso just because he “loves Jesus” or attends church every week.

But this is the erroneous picture Christian literature and preachers paint of Christian women – that Christian women only care about how “spiritual” a Christian guy is.

So the males never hear sermons filled with bon mots such as, “Hey, dumpy, saggy lard ass: get to a gym and lose your gut, women don’t find that attractive. Get some Rogaine while you’re at it. And when is the last time you used mouth wash or saw a dentist??”

No, no, those sorts of comments are tossed at women, even in sermons and in “Christian” books and blogs about dating and relationships, but of course tilted to feminine appearance, such as, “Hey you ugly fatso, men care about looks, so go join ‘JUST LADIES,’ get on a treadmill, and grow your hair long! You look like a butch lesbian with short hair. No man wants that.”

Women do of course care about what men look like. Yes, we do, even the Bible thumping variety.

When I was growing up, a lot of girls had crushes on bands such as British pop band Duran Duran.

Duran Duran British pop band
Duran Duran British pop band

While I enjoyed some of their music, I was never a Duranie per se. But let me tell you, debates used to rage, absolutely rage, among teen girls in the 1980s as to which D2 band member was the cutest. Most chose Simon Lebon, lead singer. (Obviously, John Taylor was the cutest back then, so that settles that – though Simon has, IMO, aged better than John, going by recent photos of the band.)

I remember two very rabid D2 fans who rode my school bus back in the day, who used to argue DAILY, and quite passionately, about who was cuter, Simon or John. ~And people think females only care about a man’s “personality” or other “inner qualities.” Riiiiight. Keep living in that land of delusion, people who are uncomfortable with females being sexual.

Before that, in the 1970s, it was The Bay City Rollers. Girls went nuts for the Bay City Rollers.

In the 1990s, girls went crazy for New Kids on the Block and Back Street Boys.

New Kids on the Block
New Kids on the Block – boy band

Girls have been lining their lockers with photos of males they find PHYSICALLY ATTRACTIVE in junior high and high school since the dawn of rock. (There are a sub-set of girls who will find a famous guy’s personality appealing, in addition to his looks, and will tape his photo up on that basis as well.)

There was Elvis and The Beatles in the 1950s and 1960s. Today, there is teen singer Justin Bieber.

I had a friend from junior high who seriously crushed on Patrick Swayze, the movie actor, all through high school. She used to tape his photos up all over her bedroom because she thought he was sexy fine with a nice body.

Movie actor Kevin Costner
Movie actor Kevin Costner

When I was in my late teens, I had a 50 something, married female co-worker on one job who loved movie actor Kevin Costner, who kept photos of him taped inside her employee locker.

Clearly, women like looking at men they consider handsome. This is fact. This is reality. I’ve been surrounded by this phenomenon my whole life but rarely do I see it acknowledged in Christian media -or secular- that women are visual, just as much as men are.

Instead, I keep seeing this idiotic notion bandied about in magazine articles, dating advice blogs, and in sermons, that Christian women (or any woman) only care about a man’s income or personality and don’t care an iota about what his face or body looks like.

I’m thinking maybe people are just comfortable with sexist stereotypes, and men feel it gives them an excuse to be fat and never work out at the gym. I’m not sure what other explanations can be in order.

Burt Reynolds centerfold
Burt Reynolds centerfold

The Burt Reynolds Cosmo centerfold. I almost forgot. Some women found him sexy, and they went a little crazy when that centerfold was published. I believe that was in the 1970s.

From (Link): an article (“Helen Gurley Brown, objectifier of men”) about the Burt centerfold:

  • She [Gurley Brown] did manage to get Burt Reynolds’ enthusiastic participation in her first-ever nude male centerfold. “There’s a big show in this country called ‘The Tonight Show,’” she explained to me. “He was a guest host, and I asked him off the air.”
  • The photo that ran was Reynolds’ personal pick. ”He’s got a good body, he’s got terrific legs, he’s handsome, he’s smiling up a storm and you can’t really see any” — here, she paused — “men’s genitalia … It’s about as sexy and revealing as a photo can be, but it doesn’t reveal anything that it shouldn’t.”
  • The photo, which ran with text proclaiming that male editors had previously “neglected the visual appetites of us equally appreciative girls,” was a sensation. Women mobbed Reynolds’ house.

    The founder of Playgirl even cited it as an inspiration for the entire creation of the magazine: ”When I saw Burt Reynolds naked in Cosmo and saw what a winner that was, it came to me, that’s what women want. If a woman says to me she wants to see a man’s smile, his eyes, I say, ‘Don’t lie to me — you want to see a man’s dong,’ that is if you’re normal.”

  • In “Bad Girls Go Everywhere,” Gurley Brown’s biographer, Jennifer Scanlon represents Gurley Brown as a feminist whose attitudes towards sex prefigured “sex positive” feminism.
  • That included acknowledging female desire, particularly a desire for men’s bodies. Gurley’s stubborn refusal to “demonize” men, or have any unpleasantness at all in her magazine, kept her at loggerheads with many second wavers; she saw it as simply practical. “I acknowledge that men keep women back,” Gurley Brown wrote, “but since sex is terrific and it comes from men, you can’t rule men out of this world and say they’re all terrible and rotten, because you’re going to need them for your own purposes.”

Women are “visually stimulated,” they are “visually oriented” and you damn skippy most women care about a man’s physical appearance. If they did not, they would not be taping shirtless photos of Patrick Swayze in his prime back in their school lockers way back when.
—————————
Part 2:

(Link): Ryan Gosling and Shirtless, Buff Cowboy Photos on Social Media – Yes, Women Are Visually Stimulated and Visually Oriented (Part 2)
_____________________________________________________________
— Related Posts This Blog–

(Link): Superman, Man Candy -and- Christian Women Are Visual And Enjoy Looking At Built, Hot, Sexy Men

(Link): Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

(Link): Women Are Visually Oriented Too – Reminder 1

(Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link): Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]

(Link): Married Women Engage in Sexual Sin – and most men in denial particularly Christian conservatives

(Link): More ‘Men Are Visual’ Baloney, Discussed at Another Blog

(Link): Conservative Christian Sexist Immature Imbecilic Pressure on Women to Look Pretty and Skinny and to Put Out Sexually

The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy

The Myth of the Gift – Re Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy

Excerpts from a book by Hsu below (same material is available for free on Google books). Some aspects of this material are good, as it clears up some of the nonsense about the insipid “GOS” (Gft of Singleness / Gift of Celibacy) teachings one often sees from Christians.

However, and this is a very big sticking point with me and other singles from Christian backgrounds, Hsu does not deeply or meaningfully deal with unwanted, unexpected, prolonged Christian singleness*, which is going on in spades these days *(at least not in the free excerpts I read).

Christians who desire marriage but who remain single are left wondering: if you prayed since childhood for a spouse, earnestly believed God to send a spouse, and you also put yourself in positions to meet spouses (such as attending church singles classes, joining dating sites and so on), and are still not married into your 40s, what then? Hsu glosses this all over in a mere statement or two by saying something about “of course if you desire marriage, then marry, if the opportunity presents itself, if one can find a partner able and willing to marry you.”

Hsu says as long as you remain single, then by default you have the “gift of singleness” (though he explains that this is not a “gift” in the sense most Christians teach it as being – he clears up several misconceptions. As I’ve noted in other posts, the phrases “gift of singleness” and “gift of celibacy” do not even appear in the original biblical text).

I don’t want to be single forever – that is the crux of the matter – why has God not directed a spouse cross my path, despite all the years of waiting, praying, and joining dating sites and going on the odd date here or there? Hsu does not wrestle with this. I have included below this excerpt, a rebuttal by a book reviewer who calls herself “NoGiftofSingleness” .

Singles at the Crossroads: A Fresh Perspective on Christian Singleness 

By Albert Y. Hsu

Chapter “The Myth of the Gift”

“Do you have the gift of singleness?”

No question makes singles more uneasy. And no concept generates more confusion for singles. “Ah, the gift of singleness,” one single friend mused. “Sometimes I wonder if it’s like a Christmas gift you want to return. You know, you get something from someone, and you’re like, ‘Okay, this is nice, but I’d rather have another sweater than this one.’ Well, I’d rather have the gift of marriage than this gift of singleness!”

“If you were to ask me, ‘Do you think you have the gift of singleness?’ I’d probably say no,” Maria said. “If you asked me why, I guess because I have a desire to be a wife and a mother, but I’m not necessarily sure that someone who has the gift of singleness doesn’t have those desires – that they’re completely not there. Some people imply that someone who has the gift of singleness doesn’t even have a sex drive, and I’m not sure that’s true.”

Is there such a thing as “the gift of singleness” or “the gift of celibacy”? What is meant when people talk about a gift of singleness? And if it really is a gift, why doesn’t anybody want it?

In this chapter we will examine the traditional view of the gift of singleness We weill see where these ideas come from, what problems this view may create, and how we’ve come to believe misconceptions about it. Then we will correct these misconceptions by examining the biblical material. Let’s discover what Paul really meant when he talked about singleness as a gift.

Continue reading “The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy”

Christian Gender Stereotypes Prevent Singles From Marrying – Re: Hunger Games

Christian Gender Stereotypes Prevent Singles From Marrying – Re Hunger Games

Many Christian singles have said online that gender stereotypes is one thing that is keeping them single, even though they want to be married. I’ve also seen this brought up in books by Christian singles that discuss singleness.

Here’s a web page that addresses one aspect of Christian gender stereotypes:

(Link Now Removed): What The Hunger Games Taught Me (and the Church Should Have) about Men

-THIS POST LIKELY TO BE DELETED IN THE FUTURE-
————————-
Related posts, this blog:

How Christians Keep Christians Single part 2 – The Unmarried Movie

Christian Teachings on Relationships: One Reason Singles Are Remaining Single (even if they want to get married)

How Christians Keep Christians Single (part 3) – Restrictive Gender Roles Taught as Biblical

————-

Women Reading and Enjoying Erotica (Fifty Shades of Grey) Yes, Females Are Interested In Sex – Contrary to Gender Stereotypes

Women Reading and Enjoying Erotica (Fifty Shades of Grey book)

Amy Simpson’s blog touches on issues I raise on this one from time to time, including the odd, common view that only men want sex and are visual while woman allegedly are not. Here’s her post which talks about these topics and similar ones:

(Link Removed): Why I’m Not Shocked by Fifty Shades of Grey

-THIS BLOG POST MAY EVENTUALLY BE DELETED-

—————-
Related posts this blog:

Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)

(Link): Superman, Man Candy -and- Christian Women Are Visual And Enjoy Looking At Built, Hot, Sexy Men

(Link): Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

(Link): Stop Telling Your Single Friends to Try Dating Sites – Please.

(Link): Women Are Visually Oriented Too – Reminder 1

(Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

(Link): Online Dating Vs Meeting in Real Life (copy)

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link): Why Online Dating Doesn’t Work (article)

(Link): Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]

(Link): Married Women Engage in Sexual Sin – and most men in denial particularly Christian conservatives

(Link): More ‘Men Are Visual’ Baloney, Discussed at Another Blog

(Link):Conservative Christian Sexist Immature Imbecilic Pressure on Women to Look Pretty and Skinny and to Put Out Sexually

(Link): Beware of Rapists on Christian Dating Sites

Mormons and Christians Make Family, Marriage, Having Children Into Idols

Mormons and Christians Make Family, Marriage, Having Children Into Idols –
Biblical Christians should be very concerned that they are mirroring Mormons

I did a little bit of reading about Mormonism several years ago. I don’t remember everything I read, but I do vaguely recall from what I did read that Mormons place a lot of emphasis upon marriage and family.

Mormons believe in the afterlife that a man can become a god, and he needs a wife and kids to repopulate the planet he becomes ruler over, or something like that (seriously, they believe this stuff.)

It’s very strange, nutty, and very sci-fi. You can read more about these beliefs (Link): here (CARM), (Link): here (CRI) or (Link): here (Let Us Reason).

Mormons place a lot of emphasis on family and marriage and having a lot of children, and it has something to do with how many planets they get to rule in the afterlife.

When doing an internet search about singleness, I’ve noticed about one-third of the blog pages and forum discussions that show up are for and by Mormons, complaining how there are so many un-married Mormon ladies who want to get married, but they remain single into their 30s and older.

The Mormon singles also complain about Mormon leaders ignoring singles, and about the special preference their denomination/church gives to married couples.

I am struck by how similar all this Mormon singleness talk is to how conservative Christianity treats marriage and singlehood, and how conservative Christianity worships marriage.

Some of the blog pages I’ve seen by Mormon single women sound like something I could have written about being a single in a Christian upbringing and environment.

I just came across this while doing a web search today:

    (Link): Family Values. Strengthening Families. [Mormon site]
    Mormon.org

    mormon.org/values/family‎
    The happiest marriages and families are those grounded on the principles Christ … She told me she had read The Book of Mormon but was unable to find anyone that …. We welcome all to visit and worship with us in our Sunday services.

On that Mormon web page is a heading that reads, “Families Come First.”

At the bottom of that same Mormon page is a category heading of “FAMILIES PREPARE US FOR ETERNAL LIFE.”

What is eerie about that Mormon web page title, tag line, and other content on the page is that it resembles the same “Rah rah, family values!” rhetoric conservative Christians continually publish and produce – such as, well, (Link): “Focus on the Family.”

(Glancing over the FoF (Focus on the Family) home page, I notice there is no mention made of the un-married, of singles – FoF should care, because if they can help singles get married, there would be more families for them to focus on. This fact continues to escape these marriage- and- family- obsessed Christian groups.)

Then, about a week ago, I found a page, (Link): Do You Rate Your Family Too High? (Christians Who Idolize the Family), whose Christian author also noticed that some portions of conservative Christianity have deified and idolized family and marriage as much as Mormons have. I would highly encourage you to read that page.

Here’s a blog page by a Christian guy who has lived around Mormons, and he has noted that Mormons have idolized family and marriage, much like some Christians are guilty of:

(Link): What Evangelicals Can Learn From Mormons: Family

Excerpts from that page:

    [After summarizing how Mormons idolize family, marriage]

    Who doesn’t want a happy family? Who wants to see their family die off one by one? Who wants to be alone? I certainly do not and nor does anyone if they have had a decent family experience or something similar.

    This is the hope that Mormons are peddling. It is the leading foot of their Gospel and the discerning believer will see it is just not the Gospel.

    So what can evangelicals learn from this perversion of the Gospel centered on the nuclear family?
    We must preach joy, hope, and love from the Gospel and not life circumstance.

    Whatever joy and happiness can be gleaned through family should pale in comparison to knowing Christ. If family is were you find joy and happiness then you will be sadly surprised in an eternity staring into the face of Christ. Paul considers “everything as loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus [his] Lord.” (Philippians 3:8).

    The Gospel can and will influence and improve our family relations but this is not the ultimate in view. A radical focus on the Gospel, Christ’s work, as our source of joy and happiness then opens the door for people of all life settings to begin to live in goodness of the Gospel among the wider family of God.

    We must reassert the Family of God as primary to the Gospel above the Nuclear Family.
    As Dan Edelen pointed out 1 Corinthians7:1-40, Luke 18:28-30, Mark 3:31-35, and Isaiah 56:3-5; these verses all give good counsel on what the new family of God looks like above and beyond the nuclear family.

    I might add to this list 1 Corinthians 12:1-31 with its picture of the body of Christ and the differently gifted members there within. I would further point my LDS friends to Christ’s discussion with the Pharisees in Mark 12:18-27.

    The marital arrangements of this world will be superseded by a much greater marriage arrangement and that is between Christ and His church.

    We must remember now that our marriages and families, as sweet and important as they are, are only meant to prefigure our future union as the church (family of believers) with Christ.

    We must work hard to understand the role of singles in the Family of God.

    In 1 Corinthians 7:1-40 Paul makes the case for the single’s ability to be free from the anxieties of this world and be anxious about the things of the Lord. This is set against those that are married that must be, by nature of life setting, concerned about the things of the world and not just about the Lord’s work (1 Corinthians7:32-33).

    In Fact Paul points to the fact that those that are married have divided interests (1 Corinthians7:34). Picking up Cheerios in a minivan may be more of a divided interest than living the dream.

    As the church we would do well to promote the health and Godly vitality that singles can bring to the church as those committed first to the work of the Lord; only to relinquish that work do to a calling to marriage or uncontrolled passions.

    Instead of always pushing and prodding singles toward marriage why not push and prod toward Gospel work! One’s singleness can lead to the most fruitful and enriching time with the Lord if the focus is on Christ and His work and not the lack of marital union.

    We must be careful not to take the renewed interest in family ministry within the church to far. The Mormon Gospel of family should serve as a warning to Evangelicals in our endeavors to more fully embrace the family in churches.

    It is a very good thing for us to think about how to minister to families in our churches, but we must not carry our ministry to far and eclipse the wider family of God we have been called to be a part of.

    While I doubt many evangelicals will wrap family in with the Gospel as Mormons have done, we have come dangerously close at times. Family is super-important and is the primary place most of us will live out our Christian witness, but we must keep first things first.

To read the rest of that blog page, (Link): please click here.

Continue reading “Mormons and Christians Make Family, Marriage, Having Children Into Idols”

Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)

Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men

Challenging more gender stereotypes….

(Link): Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men

    Evidence shows more ladies are embracing their inner cougar.

    By Alexandra Sifferlin
    June 13, 2013

    When it comes to dating, there’s an unscientific, but prevailing opinion that older men want younger women and vice versa. Turns out, the opposite may be true for women on the online dating scene. Numbers culled from various dating sites have consistently shown both sexes prefer to date down the age spectrum rather than up.

    AYI (Are You Interested?), is one of the largest websites and apps designed to help users find their mates, but it works in an unconventional way.

    Users allow the app to access their Facebook profile, and people are then are paired based on interests. To sweeten the appeal, AYI also flags any mutual friends the prospective pair share. Users who like what they see ”fave” the profile. If not, they can click “skip.”

    AYI pulled data from its 68 million downloads and 20 million Facebook profiles to see which subscribers are making successful matches.

    It focused in on the 1 million recommended pairings in a specific population of 35,942 users ages 30 to 49. The surprising finding: a woman was five times more likely to show interest in a man was five years her junior that one who was five years older.

    If only the men would catch on. Among the 26,434 men ages 30 to 49, 42% wouldn’t even consider a woman if she was older than him.

    However, if contacted by an older woman, men wouldn’t necessarily turn her down. The data shows that a man is only 22% less likely to respond to an older woman than a younger woman if she initiates contact.

    What are some of the reasons for this? AYI analysts suspect that younger women are inundated by requests from older men and while that might once have had some appeal— in a marrying-for-wealth sort of way — it simply doesn’t anymore.

    A 2008 study published in the journal Psychology of Women Quarterly found that women who are 10 or more years older than their partner report more satisfaction and relationship commitment compared to women who are the same age or younger than their partner.

    Continue reading “Online Dating: Women Want Younger Men (article)”

Rebound Guy and No Sex

Rebound Guy and No Sex

There are three points to walk away from with this letter below, points which are three of several that regularly arise on this blog:

1. This letter makes me feel a little better about my never-married status. I’d rather be single than living in misery with some guy who is a control freak, and where there is no love.

Which is not to say when I’m pining for marriage I appreciate it when married people tell me stuff like, “Aw, marriage can be hard at times, a husband won’t meet all your emotional needs…”

But I do occasionally see married women describe really hellish or awful sounding marriages, and I can see how being alone is preferable to putting up with some guy’s crap. (I was also engaged once, in a long term relationship and felt relief when I dumped the guy.)

2. Note also from this letter that the woman who wrote in says she and her husband are not having sex!

Evangelicals, Baptists, and Fundamentalists try to talk Christian teens into staying virgins by promising them that they will have “mind blowing” (yes, the phrase they usually choose is “mind blowing”) sex when they get married. This is not always so.

3. Notice in the letter that the woman says she never found her husband “physically attractive.”

Often, one hears and sees in both Christian and secular discussions about female sexuality, dating, and marriage that only men want sex and only men care about a partner’s physical appearance, while women supposedly do not care about either.

It is said women only care about things like nurturing and “emotional intimacy.” Hogwash! The fact is (Link): many women are “visually stimulated” and appreciate a sexy looking man.

Here’s the letter from the unhappily married lady:

(Link): Ask Dr. Sherry: Help! I Married My Rebound Guy for the Wrong Reasons

(Column by Dr. Sherry)

Lady writes to ask:

    Q: “I am a 30-year-old mother of two boys, ages 6 and 8, and I have been married for four years to the man I met during my last pregnancy. We have been together for six years on and off.

    [The] truth is, I am not happy with him.

    My family hates him and my kids merely tolerate him. I’ve never been attracted to him physically, but I fell in love with him because he was there for me when the man I loved left me while I was carrying his son.

    He has bought us a nice home and even helped me get my dream car, but he uses his assistance to control these things.

    Because of his personality, he has very few friends. He is not very family-oriented.

    We do not sleep together and barely talk.

    We don’t see eye-to-eye on the children at all.

    I dream of leaving but fear I cannot make it alone and I definitely don’t want to leave him in debt.

    Besides, I work crazy hours and he takes the kids to football practice and keeps them after school. I want to be happy and I get really discouraged when people tell me to work it out.

    I am also afraid of leaving and being lonely or meeting a guy who beats me or hurts my kids. Please help me!” —Anonymous

Continue reading “Rebound Guy and No Sex”

Christian Double Standards on Celibacy – Hetero Singles Must Abstain from Sex but Not Homosexual Singles

Christian Double Standards on Celibacy – Hetero Singles Must Abstain from Sex but Not Homosexual Singles

I have no doubt that the majority of Christians, maybe aside from some liberals and emergents, would tell you that they believe homosexuality is a sin – at least the behavior, maybe not the orientation – and that they believe homosexuals should refrain from sexual activity. So I would not be surprised if most of them look at the heading of this post and feel very confused.

Concerning heterosexual singles, the majority of Christians are opposed to them having sex outside of marriage – or, they at least claim to feel this way.

However, such Christians stress God’s forgiveness of pre-marital sex and fornication to the point they somewhat cancel out the Bible’s commands of sexual purity, making them appear rather moot.

As I discussed (Link): in a previous post, there is still a current of thought on some Christian blogs, forums, and comment sections under articles on issues such as homosexual marriage, that because one cannot reasonably expect any adult to indefinitely refrain from any and all sexual behavior, that is it unrealistic or cruel to expect homosexuals to never have sex (which in their case, obviously, would be with someone of the same gender).

And, of course, there is the same thought at play for hetero singles: many Christian preachers and even lay persons assume it is impossible for any Christian to refrain from sex for months, years or decades.

Many Christians assume that only a small minority of Christians have the “gift of celibacy” (never mind (Link): there is no such thing). Further, these same Christians usually assume celibacy bestowed upon those “gifted” with it is some kind of super power, wherein God removes all sexual desire (also untrue).

With un-married heteros who stumble into sexual sin, preachers frequently get around this by emphasizing “God’s forgiveness.”

That is, almost any time I read a Christian blog, article, or book about sexual sin among heteros, or hear a Christian on television discuss the single and hetero-sexual sin, it is always mentioned that God forgives sexual sin, so the single is advised to not fret about it.

(Contrary to liberal and emergent Christians, (Link): I rarely see an over-emphasis on virginity or a shaming of fornication or fornicators.)

There was a story in Huffington Post where a mother explained she and her husband were very devout Christians, and at some point when her son was a teen or early 20 something, he texted her one day and told her he was homosexual.

This was a son who she and her husband raised in the church. The son confided in his youth group that he had homosexual tendencies and urges, and they supported him as best they could.

As the son got older, the article said, the mother said she basically told the son he had to choose between his sexuality or Jesus, and he tried to suppress his homosexuality even more than before.

This was stressful for her son. He turned to drug abuse to cope.

Eventually, the son called home and asked if he could come back, if she could love him even if he were homosexual, etc. By this stage, the mother said yes, she just wanted her son back. She got him back, but he later died from a drug problem (one last drug binge).

Here is the part of the article I wanted to call out (from the Huffington Post article “Just Because He Breathes”); the mother said,

“Choosing God [over a homosexual orientation], practically, meant living a lifetime condemned to being alone. He [her homosexual son] would never have the chance to fall in love, have his first kiss, hold hands, share intimacy and companionship or experience romance.”

I am quite sorry about the death of her son. Having said that, I would like to point out that the situation is no less different for hetero Christian singles.

While hetero, un-married Christians might be able to share a “first kiss” and “hold hands,” they are instructed by the Bible not to get intimate.

~ No Guarantee of Marriage for Heterosexuals Either ~

I may never marry. I am hetero. I have made it to age 40+ and have not married, though I wanted to. I may die single.

Ergo, one common argument I see, which is “Oh yeah, well as a hetero, you at least have a CHANCE at getting married, homosexuals don’t even have that” is a bogus one. In order for me to have a “chance” at marriage, I must first have a boyfriend. I do not have one. I may never get another one.

I saw a book review once by a 50 year old, never- married Christian woman where she said that she has a circle of 40- and- 50- something, never- married Christian women friends who all desired marriage. She said one of those friends died at the age of 52 or 54 (from cancer, if I recall correctly).

This woman’s 50-something friend, who wanted marriage, never got to experience it. So please, stop with the “oh yeah, but at least you straights have the possibility of marriage!” argument – because we really do not.

Continue reading “Christian Double Standards on Celibacy – Hetero Singles Must Abstain from Sex but Not Homosexual Singles”

Helping Christian Singles Meet Christian Singles (to date)

Helping Christian Singles Meet Christian Singles (to date)

There is a category of postings at another blog for Christian Singles (links below).

Beware though, for its writers are Biblical Gender Complementarians.

(In a nutshell: Biblical Gender Complementarians believe the only or proper, biblical role for women is to be married with a baby, staying at home, making casseroles; they frown on women working outside the home, some of them are against women attending college, etc.

Some gender complementarians would deny my description of complementarianism and say it’s a strawman – only to turn around two minutes later and blame uppity feminist women who get college educations and use The Pill who do not want to stay at home with a kid, who do not want to stay home organizing a husband’s sock drawer, and who do not want to stay home cooking casseroles for the downfall of American society).

(Link): True Woman: Singleness Topic – several posts about singleness – Beware – this blog is by ‘Biblical Gender Complementarians’

About the only worthwhile material I found on their site so far was this (from (Link): Did I Kiss Marriage Goodbye? (An Interview with Carolyn McCulley, Part 2):

    What role can the church play in the lives of single adults who have a desire for marriage and family?

    I believe most Christian singles would value their pastors and married couples in their churches introducing them to godly prospective mates, rather than feeling the need to resort to such options as going online and wading through a pool of strangers.

    I know many marriages that started with a simple observation made from a married person to a single man:
    “Have you ever considered [insert name here]? I’ve observed your friendship with her and see many qualities in her that could make her an excellent wife for you.”
    I call that the Foot-In-The-Small-Of-The-Back Ministry and I commend it to married people everywhere! I can assure them their efforts would be received with much gratitude. // end quotes from other blog

WORD OF ADVICE, CAUTION FOR MARRIED CHRISTIANS WHO ARE CONSIDERING PLAYING MATCH MAKER FOR THEIR UN-MARRIED CHRISTIAN FRIENDS

May I add a warning and a caveat to what she said? While I mostly agree with her views on singles appreciating help from other Christians in being set up on dates etc, I am aware that (Link): some singles – particularly the Holy Roller, super spiritual types who are so damn irritating – would be deeply offended by church members trying to fix them up with men.

Then there is the problem of married Christian people thinking any old single with a pulse is a great match for any other single with a pulse! – WRONG. Contrary to “Christian marriage experts” (Link): it takes more than Christ in common for two singles to hit it off.

I have read testimonies by 27 year old divorced church- attending women, with kids from their previous marriages, whose married church lady acquaintances tried fixing them up with the never-married, 45 year old, 800 pound, overall- wearing hillbilly, church- going- guy named Bubba, who has bad breath, lives in his Mom’s basement, collects Star Trek dolls extensively, and is socially awkward and plain old unattractive.

While I do feel many singles (men especially) are way too damn picky about physical appearance in mate selection, nobody can be blamed for wanting to date or marry someone they find at least somewhat easy on the eyes.

Continue reading “Helping Christian Singles Meet Christian Singles (to date)”

Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)

Conservative Christians, men especially, keep assuming and teaching that men are “visually oriented” and want sex, while women are not “visually oriented” and that women hate sex and prefer “emotional intimacy.” I dispute both claims and stereotypes.

Below are some links to articles about the topic, where some researchers polled a bunch of men and women and found that some stereotypes about female sexuality are wrong.

At least two of these articles are written by a guy who seems perturbed by these findings for some reason I don’t quite understand, but I post them here just to provide information about the studies. I have also posted a few other related articles.

(Link): Women And Sex The Myth Buster – Zoe Williams talks to Daniel Bergner, the American author of What Do Women Want?, an explosive new book about female desire

(Link): Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1)

(Link): UPDATE: Women Like Sex (part 2)

(Link): (written by a guy): Are Women Turned on by Pictures of Naked Men? Well, the Better I Look, the More They Notice Me.

(Link): Are Women Turned on by Pictures of Naked Men? Yes, but Lose the Jorts.

(Link): Are Women Turned on by Pictures of Naked Men? Kevin Costner.

Part 1. Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex
A new study reveals that women, like men, enjoy sex. Here’s why this is dumb.

May 8, 2013 • By Ryan O’Hanlon •

Hold onto your codpieces, y’all. You’re not gonna believe the news coming out of Australia. I am currently shivering in a corner, feebly pecking away at a keyboard with my mouth, trying to finish up this post while I attempt to process all of this.

Here is the lede:

It’s a myth that men want sex and women want relationships, says a Sydney professor, as a long-simmering gender spat reaches Australia.

I am dead—and there’s still more:

It is not true that men are focused only on sex and women only want relationships, she says.

But. But. But. But. But how could she know?

Richters, an associate professor at the School of Public Health and Community Medicine at the University of New South Wales, uses data collected over 10 years from more than 25,000 Australians to make her case.

UPDATE: Women Like Sex A new book looks at why that isn’t totally obvious. (part 2)

    June 4, 2013 • By Ryan O’Hanlon •

Early last month we wrote about a decidedly not-fascinating study, which said: Women like sex.

… Over at Slate, Amanda Hess has a great piece on the topic, stemming from spending some time at a Playboy party—in which the editor-in-chief tells her, “We used to have a pickle shot now and again. Not anymore.” —and a book (Daniel Bergner’s What Do Women Want?) that’s out today. Bergner’s book, Hess writes, breaks down all the modern female stereotypes: “That women are not visual creatures; that their sex drive is lower than men’s; that they’re aroused by love, not sex; and that they’re naturally fitted to be sexual objects, not agents.”

Continue reading “Groundbreaking News: Women Like Sex (part 1, 2) (articles)”