Southern Baptist Women on Porn and Families

Southern Baptist Women on Porn and Families

On the Christian Post is a story with this headline:

“So. Baptist Woman’s Mission Union Works to Eradicate Porn From Families’ Lives”

Here’s an excerpt from the page:

    HOUSTON – The Woman’s Mission Union made a bold proclamation at this past week’s Southern Baptist Convention in Houston, Texas, by announcing the partnership between the WMU, Ethics & Religious Liberty Commission and Pastor Jay Dennis of First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Fla., to eradicate the poison of pornography that is destroying marriages, hurting children, and fracturing the mission of the church.

    “Through this campaign,” she said, “we are calling out a million men to live free of pornography. And challenging one million women to come alongside them and commit to pray for their spouses, their sons and their friends, as we work together to combat this evil that is destroying our families and invading our churches.”

On the plus side, at least with this story we see that some Baptists are admitting that married people get involved in sexual sin.

The assumption by Southern Baptists and other conservative Christians is often that single Christians are the sexual hedonists who are sleeping around all over the place or viewing porn.

On the downside, why all the fixation on families? While not all un-married Christians are sexually active or viewing pornography, some might be. Where are the resources by Southern Baptists to help those singles?

Why don’t Christians do studies and research to see if porn is one of the reasons for unwanted, protracted singleness among Christian women? Are single Christian men getting their sexual needs met via porn, and that is the reason they are not seeking out single Christian ladies for dating and marriage?

But no, Christians typically don’t consider how anything impacts singles – they remain obsessed with how anything in spiritual or secular culture may impact “families” or “marriages.”

I also notice in the article that the Christians interviewed assume that only men view porn, even though other news sources have said that porn use among Christian women is on the rise. Christians continue to want to live in this world o’ denial where they think only men want sex and only men are “visually stimulated.”

Related posts, this blog:

Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

When The Female Libido and Female Gaze Is Acknowledged in Religion – and the Shirtless Boston Terrorist

Women Are Visually Oriented Too – Reminder 1

Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex / (also discussed): Gender and Sex Stereotypes (article)

Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]

The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

Conflicting Message to Christian Women by Christians About Physical Appearance

Gender Complementarian Product for Females: Don’t Base Your Value on Your Looks, but Wait, Yes, You Should

Marriage Doesn’t Necessarily Guarantee Great Sex or Any At All

Marriage Doesn’t Necessarily Guarantee Great Sex or Any At All

Evangelical Christians, Fundamentalists, and Southern Baptists often tell singles to wait until marriage to have sex, because the sex will be “mind blowing.”

Well (and a big LOL!) sometimes people get married to people who have no interest in sex, which I have blogged about before (see links bottom of this post under “Related Posts”). Here is another example (except this guy admits he and the wife engaged in pre-marital sex), from the June 16, 2013 “Ask Amy” advice column:

    DEAR AMY: I was recently married, and a problem I was hoping would get better seems to be getting worse. My wife seems to have no interest in sex — even though she says she does.

    We’ve been married for a month and have yet to consummate the marriage. When I try talking to her about it, she supplies myriad reasons, and I’m made to look like a sex-crazed bad guy.

    I love my wife and love intimacy with her. When we first started dating, we made love a few times a week. Then it became once or twice a month, and now it’s maybe every month or two. I really don’t know what to do. Is this normal? — Tired in Tennessee

So there you have it. Being married does not always equate into having great sex, or any at all, even in relationships where the two were having sex prior to marriage. LOL!

Related posts, this blog:

(Link): Getting Married Does Not Necessarily Guarantee Frequent Hot Satisfying Sexy Sex – Husband is Sexless for Eight Years (article)

(Link): Criticism of Purity Teachings by Christians via a Woman’s Personal Testimony [concerning woman who waited until marriage for sex and found sex to be TERRIBLE]

The Bible Does Not Teach Christians to “Focus On The Family” – The Idolization of Family by American Christians (article)

The Bible Does Not Teach Christians to “Focus On The Family” – The Idolization of Family by American Christians (article)

(Link): Idolizing the Family by Gary L. Almy

by Gary L. Almy

God created the family for His purposes and for our good. I am now in my thirtieth year of marriage to one wife; I will be forever grateful to my parents; they gave me the first birth, without which the second is certainly not possible; they cared for me; they fed, clothed, and educated me. Moreover, the Lord commands that I honor them. I am thankful to God for making me the father of five children and for what He taught me through that experience. Yes, God created the family, but as with any good thing created by God, it can become an idol.

I contend here that the Christian church in America today has made an idol of the family. Idolatry can be defined as the act of making a created thing an object of worship. It is no light matter to place any creature in the place of the Creator. Idolatry always takes the gifts of God and attempts to use them specifically to achieve what we want, i.e., to use them for our own comfort and/or power. Take the word “idol” and look up the verses listed under it in your concordance; this will show you how very seriously God views the matter of idolatry. It is not as though we have not been warned. We have and the warnings are heavy. Why is it such an important issue to our Creator-Redeemer? God simply says in Exodus 20:5, “for I the LORD thy God am a jealous God.”

Lest you doubt that something as lovely as family could ever be used by godless men for selfish purposes, consider the following from the bulletin insert entitled “The Church Around the World,” June 1999:

“James Dobson’s radio commentaries on the family are broadcast in China. Ai Jai is sanctioned by China’s Bureau of Radio and Television. Dobson, or Dr. Du as he is known in Chinese, is heard on more than four hundred facilities. The stations make up China National Radio, the government network. The government has asked Focus on the Family for permission to run the printed form regularly in the Beijing daily newspaper.”

The same Communist government tortures, imprisons, and places in slave labor those who bear real witness to Christ. In fact, this same bulletin has the following news:

“Hong Kong Christians are being pressured to stop ministering in mainland China. A magazine in Hong Kong that published articles detailing persecution of unregistered churches was closed, and leaders of a large evangelical church in Hong Kong were refused entry into the mainland recently. Three other Hong Kong churches said that mainland officials asked them to stop working in China” (“The Church Around the World,” July, 1999).

Is this government going to sponsor any genuine Christian message, any offense of the cross? Focusing on the family comes from the world, and the world loves it–as does the godless government of Communist China. The world loves the idea of the family, but hates the real Christian message. Don’t forget that fertility rites and worship of ancestors permeate paganism. Such things should have no part in real Christianity.

All of Scripture agrees with David in Psalm 119:112 in saying, “I have inclined mine heart to perform thy statutes alway, even unto the end.” Nowhere are we told in God’s revealed Word to focus on the family.

In fact, there has been no highway quite as broad anywhere for the Freudian heresy as the road that opens when the church makes marriage and family the focus and reason for existence, both for the individual and for the church itself. Look at church bulletins, letterheads, and general outreach if you think I am extreme in accusing the modern church of doing this.

Continue reading “The Bible Does Not Teach Christians to “Focus On The Family” – The Idolization of Family by American Christians (article)”

Un-Happy Father’s Day!

Un-Happy Father’s Day!

I don’t have much to say about this that hasn’t already been covered in my previous blog posts about how many Christians have turned Motherhood into idolatry, so I refer you to those posts:

(Link): Un Happy Mother’s Day – universal church continues to worship parenthood, family

(Link): American Christians Idolize Motherhood – Mommy Rhapsody

(Link): Mother’s Day Ain’t A Happy Holiday For Some

I will say that I don’t think men get subjected to the line that women do… which is (if you are female): “Your highest, or only calling in life, is to be a wife and mother.”

I don’t remember any preacher ever saying to males, “”Your highest, or only calling in life, is to be a husband and father.”

I have heard preachers and lay person Christians go on and on about how “important” fatherhood is (isn’t it interesting that they don’t harp on how important husbandhood is?), but I don’t see as much emphasis on men to be daddies as I do the pressure on chicks to get pregnant and pop out a baby.

Men who do not like babies are not thought of as weird, at least not anything I’ve seen. That is one bonus you males get.

If you are a female like me who does NOT like babies or children, and/or you don’t particularly want a kid, you are thought of as almost evil, or as a freak, because don’t you know, all women are supposed to ADORE babies and want one? We’re all supposed to be maternal (we’re not).

When will Christian churches begin honoring singles who don’t have kids?

Why do they obsess over how important fathers are, but never a peep about how singles are part of American society and the church too?

See, yet another “Oh my gosh, we’re so worried about the state of Fatherhood in the USA” article, from a Christian magazine:
Is Fatherhood Fading Out?, from Christianity Today

No concerns over how single, childless men are treated in society or church. Oh no, we’re going to clutch our pearl necklaces over the decline of fatherhood.


Related:

(Link): Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs

Christian Doctor Chooses Marriage Over Missionairy Work

Christian Doctor Chooses Marriage Over Missionairy Work

I wonder if the contemporary Eunuch-Makers in Christian America today, those who insist that merely wanting to get married is ‘to make marriage into an idol,’ will condemn this guy for choosing to save his marriage, as opposed to “putting his personal happiness and fulfillment aside and thinking of eternity, and putting others first”?

(Link): Choosing Marriage Over the Mission Field

    by Anna Broadway

    How Tim Kietzman, a successful missionary eye doctor, chose quiet faithfulness despite enormous needs in Pakistan.

    As a young man, Tim Kietzman wanted to do “something extraordinary, something very risky” for God. In his mind, that probably meant following in the footsteps of his father, who’d been a missionary eye doctor in Nigeria. As an adult, Kietzman did do great things—his innovative ophthalmologist work in Pakistan earned him one of his field’s most prestigious awards in 2012.

    But Kietzman’s boldest act for God may have been coming home from Pakistan to repair his marriage of almost 30 years.

    Continue reading “Christian Doctor Chooses Marriage Over Missionairy Work”

Married Christian Preacher and Mistress Try to Kill Wife – Married Christians not more stable, mature, or godly than Singles

Married Christian Preacher and Mistress Try to Kill Wife – Married Christians not more stable, mature, or godly than Singles

You should know the drill by now: one commonly held stereotype among married Christians is that single Christians, even those past the age of 30, are less godly and mature than married Christians.

Here’s another example of this not being the case: a married Christian preacher man who was not only having an affair, but he and his mistress tried to kill the guy’s wife.

The added bonus to this story is that some of the church members of this perverted rat bastard preacher are supporting him.

Pastor Indicted for Plotting To Poison Wife on Honduras Mission Trip

And Will He Be Giving Sermons on Sexual Purity? Re: Church Restores Pastor Removed for Adultery

And Will He Be Giving Sermons on Sexual Purity? Re: Church Restores Pastor Removed for Adultery

This is yet another example of how Christians do not truly uphold their stated beliefs about traditional marriage, sexual purity and virginity- until- marriage, and it’s another example that flies in the face of all the emergent and liberal Christian propaganda that sexual purity teachings are idolized in Christian culture.

(Link): Megachurch Restores Founding Pastor Removed for Adultery – Christianity Today

    Jim Bolin isn’t the only pastor to step down over adultery, but few receive pardons and return to their same church. However, most National Association of Evangelical board members say pastors can be restored to church roles after marital infidelity. The highest-profile case study: Ted Haggard.

I wonder, after this pastor is “restored,” will he be telling the teenagers in sermons that “true love waits” and telling older singles that “celibacy is a gift” or writing marital guides and dating advice books and blogs telling singles that fornication is a no-no?
(Please click the “read more” link to read the rest of this post)

Continue reading “And Will He Be Giving Sermons on Sexual Purity? Re: Church Restores Pastor Removed for Adultery”

‘Glory of Virginity’ Movement vis a vis Abortion / Porn other issues

‘Glory of Virginity’ Movement

‘Glory of Virginity’ Movement was mentioned in a CBN report about abortion (there is commentary by me about all this much farther down the page, under the link to a video):

(Link): Man Up! Men Urged to End Abortion’s War on Women

    Women may get abortions, but without men, there wouldn’t be any abortions — or sex trafficking, or pornography. These are almost exclusively areas where male users create female victims.

    …Paul Cole leads the Christian Men’s Network, which specializes in mentoring men. He says many abortions happen because of men who refuse to step up and father the lives they’ve created.

    Brian Fisher, president of Online for Life, says abortion is the perfect convenience for such boyish men who desire to satisfy their sexual urges with no danger of commitment. “Abortion is the ultimate get-out-of-jail-free card for men who want to be sexually promiscuous,” Fisher stated.

    Cole pointed out, “The vast majority of abortions are paid for by men. Why is that? Because they don’t want to accept responsibility for what they created.”

    …According to Fisher, that means “men can sleep with whoever they want to and if the woman gets pregnant, not only does the man have no responsibility, he has no legal right to have responsibility.”

    ‘Man Up and Get Off the Porn’

    In his book, Abortion: the Ultimate Exploitation of Women, Fisher advocates “manning up” to fight abortion. One major way may seem surprising.

    “Get off the porn,” Fisher said.

    The author points to decades of research that show the results of pornography.

    “Multiple sexual partners, adultery, wrecked marriages, issues with long-term commitment,” Fisher stated. “All those things have been extremely well-documented. Well, those are all the seeds of unplanned pregnancy.”

    Cole cites research that shows for every 10 men in the average church, five have a major problem with pornography.

    He believes mentoring young people and teaching young men to be sexually pure and responsible can help control this sexual chaos.

    …Cole shared how a program tied to his ministry slashed the 33 percent AIDS rate in Uganda.

    “They began to train young men and women, 11, 12, 13, 14 years old, what it is to be sexually pure, what it is to be married to one person,” Cole said. “They began to meet in all the churches, all the schools.”

    This program introduced all over Uganda is called Glovimo: the GLOry of VIrginity MOvement.

    “Today in Uganda, the rate of AIDS is 6.4 percent,” Cole pointed out. “It is the only nation in the continent of Africa that has reversed the rate of AIDS.”

Here is a video about the group (which I think is based in Africa?) – I have not watched this video myself:

(Link): The Glory of Virginity Movement

    “The amazing story of a message on a videotape that changed the culture of Uganda and brought the rate of HIV-AIDS down from 32% in 1989 to 6.5% in 2011.”

(Link): Video: Glory of Virginity Movement

Edit: I have just watched part of that video which contains a sermon by a preacher who holds men equally accountable in sexual purity – he (I’m para-phrasing here; this is not a direct quote) mentions God expects MALES to remain VIRGINS too not ONLY FEMALES – a point I have raised several times on this blog.

Both males and females who discuss sexual purity and modesty teachings rarely address MALE RESPONSIBILITY in these contexts. Only females are expected to remain chaste, pure, and covered up, and then the feminists, liberal Christians, and emergents go on and on about how sexist or repressive they find this.

Even the feminists, (secular and Christian and emergent), who hate “sexual purity and modesty” teachings only address females in conversations about sexuality purity, modesty and virginity, never males. This is sexism (ironically).

Everyone is holding only females accountable, or paying attention to female sexuality alone, but the Bible says God holds males equally responsible in matters of sexuality.
—————————-
Related posts, this blog:

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link): Emergent Christian Guy Says Christians Need to “Celebrate Pre Marital Sex” (Fornication)

(Link): Are Christians Tossing Out Prohibitions Against Pre Martial Sex (radio show)

The Deification of Family and Marriage (re: Kyle Idleman book)

The Deification of Family and Marriage (re: Kyle Idleman book)

You can find copies of Idleman’s book “Gods At War” for sale online.

I have written in a critical fashion of Idleman before, as I am not a fan (pardon the pun) of his “Not A Fan” book, which unintentionally sets out to place yokes and a works-based mentality upon Christians. Read more about that here and here and here (“Radical Christianity”).

I have not read the “Gods At War” book myself but have seen Idleman interviewed about the book, and I caught one or two episodes of a Christian show based on his book.

While I disagree with his “Not a Fan” works- based type of approach to living Christian daily life, I do feel Idleman is correct that most American Christians have made a deity out of marriage and family.

In the book “Gods At War,” Idleman discusses how Christians can turn anything into an idol from jobs to entertainment, and he has one chapter in his book on “family.” He mentioned in an TV interview that some Christians are guilty of turning their spouse, their marriage, into idols.

You can read free previews from the chapter “The God of Family” in Idleman’s book on Amazon .com. Or, you might be able to read free excerpts on (Link): Google Books here. Try (Link): Chapter 12 God Of Family (this link should take you directly to chapter 12, but it looks like it’s taking you to the intro. You’ll have to scroll down or jump to Ch 12).

(Please click the “read more” link to read the rest of this post and to see a video interview with Idleman about this topic.)

Continue reading “The Deification of Family and Marriage (re: Kyle Idleman book)”

Sex Regarded as Passage Into Adulthood

I found this comment in a review of an episode of the television show “Mad Men,” A Psychiatrist Analyzes Mad Men’s Traumatized Sally Draper.

First, some background (taken from the Vulture page):

MAD MEN TV SHOW EPISODE RECAP

    It’s every teenager’s nightmare: walking in on their parents having sex. Except in Sally Draper’s case, things get even worse. In the Mad Men episode “Favors” [spoilers ahead for those who haven’t seen it], 14-year-old Sally stumbled into seeing her father, pants around his knees, making love to their neighbor Sylvia, who — just to compound the embarrassment — is the mother of Sally’s crush.
    Don later tells his mortified daughter that the situation is “complicated” — which, for him, it’s not, particularly, but it certainly is complicated for Sally.
    Even if she recovers from the humiliation, how will she trust her father again? Or anybody, for that matter? To find out if Sally will be scarred for life, or just become a giant hippie, we turned once again to UCLA-affiliated psychiatrist and Mad Men obsessive Dr. Paul Puri.

Here we have the question by the interviewer, who is interviewing a psychiatrist:

  • Now that I think about it, Sally’s friends on Mad Men have all seemed more sexually aware than she is. Might this have something to do with Don and Betty’s messed-up attitudes about sex?

Here is the shrink’s response:

    It could be from her parents, in that they both keep sex in the shadows; nothing is ever talked about with the daughter. When Sally was masturbating, her mother didn’t say, “We’ll have the-birds-and-the-bees talk.” She said, “You don’t do that alone, and you especially don’t do it in public.” So there’s been a denial there,

in trying to infantilize her 

    , even at this age.
  • The friend we saw in “Favors” is the only person right now who is encouraging Sally’s development into adulthood , so to speak. She’s encouraging her to grow, maybe too fast for her age, but I think that’s someone to whom Sally will gravitate now.
  • Pay attention to this comment in particular:

      So there’s been a denial there, in

    trying to infantilize her 

      , even at this age. The friend we saw in “Favors” is the only person right now who is

    encouraging Sally’s development into adulthood 

      , so to speak. She’s encouraging her to grow, maybe too fast for her age…
      ———————–//End Article Excerpts

    It would appear as though the psychiatrist, Dr. Puri, is assuming that a person does not reach true adulthood until he or she has sex. He seems to assume that those who do not have sex by their teen years or young adulthood remain “infantilized” in their adult years.

    Really, Dr. Puri? You’re actually going to equate having sex to being an adult?

    It’s not that I think people under the age of 18 should be having sex, but that you do not factor into your view that there are virgins such as me who are over 40 years old. I am not a child, nor am I “infantilized.”

    Continue reading “Sex Regarded as Passage Into Adulthood”

    Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities

    Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities

    I am a social conservative, and I don’t support homosexuality. I probably wouldn’t be too opinionated about homosexual marriage either way if not for the homosexuals who are absolutely militant about their lifestyles and try to sue the crud out of anyone who doesn’t agree with it, or bakers who, due to religious reasons, (Link): don’t want to provide cakes for homosexual marriage ceremonies.

    I also realize that militant homosexual groups are very vocal and active in trying to cram their views down the throats of all Americans, which annoys me to no end. I don’t particularly care if people are homosexual, as long as they’d get off their soap boxes about it and stop forcing the matter.

    However, many conservative Christians, and certainly the Southern Baptist Convention and series of churches, remains abnormally fixated on all things homosexual (and on other aspects of secular culture), as well as too keen to try to push Christian agendas via politics.

    At the recent SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) held in Houston, Texas, here is one consensus they reached:

    (Link): Southern Baptists condemn Boy Scouts over admission of gays

    Excerpt (by the way, this article incorrectly refers to Southern Baptists as “Protestants”. Southern Baptists are not Protestants):

      The nation’s largest Protestant denomination stopped short of calling for its member churches to boycott the Boy Scouts, but voiced strong opposition to acceptance of gay scouts – with a top church leader predicting at the annual gathering of Southern Baptists that a “mass exodus” of youths from the program that has been a rite of passage for more than a century.

    Instead of being preoccupied by those outside the church, Christians are supposed to help fellow Christians first and foremost ((Link): Galatians 6:10), and primarily judge those who are within the body of Christ, not obsessively focus on judging Non Christians in secular culture:

      What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? (1 Cor 5:12)

    Southern Baptists and a lot of other Christians claim they are concerned about the inroads homosexuals are making in culture, not just with the BSA (Boy Scouts), but concerning the erosion of “traditional marriage.”

    The deterioration of traditional marriage by homosexuals does not really matter all that much, when there is currently a sizable section of Americans, particularly unmarried Christian hetero-sexual women, who desire marriage, but there are no marriage partners (single Christian men of comparable age) for them to marry.

    Continue reading “Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities”

    “He’s Got Muscles” – Pat Robertson Weirdness (Discussing Tebow’s Sexiness)

    “He’s got muscles” – Pat Robertson Weirdness (Discussing Tebow’s Sexiness)

    I almost forgot about this! On the June 11, 2013 broadcast of “The 700 Club,” host Pat Roberston was talking about Tim Tebow, the football player.

    Robertson got a little nutty, though, going into details about Tebow’s physique. If I can find video of it on You Tube, I’ll add it to this post.

    I don’t recall Robertson’s exact words, but he mentioned something about Tim Tebow’s “muscular body,” and I think Tebow’s “wide shoulders” and developed chest.

    And I sat there listening, thinking, “What the hell? Did I just hear Robertson describe Tim Tebow like a randy woman would a Chippendale’s dancer in Vegas? I do believe I did. Ew. There is just something wrong about that.”

    Continue reading ““He’s Got Muscles” – Pat Robertson Weirdness (Discussing Tebow’s Sexiness)”

    Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

    Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

    (Link): Source

    Please note: I offer a link to this with a caveat: the author appears to be a ‘gender complementarian,’ and I completely disagree with the CBMW-ish type of view of “complementarianism.” I am a gender egalitarian. However, this author does get some points right, including the portion I have excerpted below.

    Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

    • Lie #3: Women Can’t be Fulfilled or Spiritually Effective Without a Husband or Children.
    • The third lie is that women can’t be fulfilled or spiritually effective without a husband or children. Some churches teach that God’s perfect plan for every woman is to be a wife and mother. Period. Sometimes Christian women successful in business or some other professional field are made to feel unwelcome at a church, as if they are an unhealthy influence on “purer” women.
      Continue reading “Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)”

    Being Single in the Church (article)

    Being Single in the Church (article)

    I was brought up in the Southern Baptist church and do not agree with all teachings of the Roman Catholic Church (such as their rejection of sola fide and sola scriptura), but while the following article addresses singles in the Roman Catholic Church, I could totally relate to it. If you are Baptist or Protestant (and unmarried), I think you will be able to relate to it, too.

    Being Single in the Church (article)

    Excerpts…

      By Emily Stimpson – OSV Newsweekly, 7/24/2011

      Although it may be reassuring, in some ways, that today’s unmarried Catholics have lots of company in the single life, it’s also a problem. Never before have quite so many adults, Catholics or otherwise, delayed marriage quite so late in life. Some delay by choice. Others by chance. But marriage is delayed regardless. And the results are often less than rosy.

      Continue reading “Being Single in the Church (article)”

    The Train Wreck That Is the Southern Baptist Denomination

    The Train Wreck That Is the Southern Baptist Denomination

    As I was just remarking in the comments of the previous post to someone else:

      [About the SBC’s stance on men viewing pornography and what they consider success in conquering this issue.] That’s only the half of it. There have been a ton of articles the past two weeks about how membership in Southern Baptist Churches has dropped.

      There is also in-fighting, in that the Neo Calvinists (aka YRRs) are trying to take over the SBC.

      SBC guy Al Mohler continues to stand by SGM leader CJM who allegedly covered up child sexual abuse for over ten years in SGM churches.

      I’m thinking maybe I should do a new post about this. Hmm. I was brought up in the SBC, btw.

    As long as the SBC continues to…

    • ignore child sexual abuse and turn a blind eye to it; as long as the SBC continues to
    • obsess over politics and the culture wars (battling homosexual marriage etc),
    • as long as they keep allowing Al Mohler and other Calvinists sneak young, hyper Neo Calvinists into churches that don’t want to be Calvinist, and as long as
    • they keep insisting on a sexist (gender complementarian) view of women, and as long as Southern Baptists continue
    • to focus mainly or only on the traditional, nuclear family and traditional marriage and overlook the never married or divorced or widowed adults past the age of 30;

    they will keep on losing members.
    Continue reading “The Train Wreck That Is the Southern Baptist Denomination”

    Lookism in or Hinted At in Church Woman Conference Title

    Lookism in or Hinted At in Church Woman Conference Title

    Cottonwood Church, headed by pastor Conley, ((Link): site), based out of California, has a woman’s convention called “Beautiful.”

    Maybe this church means well. Maybe the word “beautiful” is meant to focus on a woman’s “inner” beauty – but given the fact that women get bombarded with the “you must be physically attractive at all times, your whole life, and your value resides in nothing else but your physical beauty” message both from secular and Christian culture, I do wish this church had chosen another theme or word to describe their woman’s conference, one other than “Beautiful.”

    Why didn’t they choose to call this woman’s conference “Brainy,” “Clever,” “Sharp as a Tack,” “Savvy,” “Witty” or “Awesome”?

    Here is a screen shot of their 2013 Woman’s “Beautiful” conference (a.k.a. “Real Women Conference”) : (Link): site):

    beautifulSite

    Related Posts, this blog:

    Conflicting Message to Christian Women by Christians About Physical Appearance

    Gender Complementarian Product for Females: Don’t Base Your Value on Your Looks, but Wait, Yes, You Should

    The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

    Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

    Atlantic Article: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

    Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, More Examples – and Women and Porn

    Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, Married Preachers and Sexual Abuse, More Examples – and Women and Porn

    Many married Christians like to assume that married Christian couples are not engaging in sexual sin, that sexual sin is something that only impacts un-married Christians. I’ve blogged about these stereotypes before.

    It is also assumed by conservative Christians, and this seems even more so of the males, that women (including Christian women), are not “visually oriented,” are not visually stimulated, do not view porn, and have little to no sex drive. These are other topics I’ve blogged about on a recurring basis as well.

    Here are some more examples. The first is a link to a page that – and this is virtually unheard of – a Christian author and speaker who acknowledges that married Christian men are addicted to pornography, he holds the men (not their wives) accountable for their porn viewing, and also (but sadly only briefly) mentions that some Christian women view and enjoy pornography.

    (Link 1): Southern Baptist Convention 2013: ‘One Million Men Porn Free’ Among Featured Programs at Annual Meeting

    (Link 2): SEXUAL ABUSE IN SOCIAL CONTEXT: CLERGY AND OTHER PROFESSIONALS

    Excerpts from Link 1,
    “So. Baptist Convention 2013: ‘One Million Men Porn Free’ Among Featured Programs at Annual Meeting”

      By Melissa Barnhart , CP Reporter
      June 7, 2013|1:24 pm

      To combat the bondage and destruction of pornography that has seeped into millions of American households Pastor Jay Dennis of First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Fla., created his own program, “One Million Men Porn Free.” He is hopeful that more pastors will fearlessly address the issue after they learn more about it at the Southern Baptist Convention’s annual meeting in Houston next week.

      … He’s [Dennis has] also completed two new books to help Christians deal with pornography, one for men and one for women. The women’s book will address 50 things Christian women need to know about pornography, and will teach them how to deal with their own struggles with porn.

      … In an interview with the CP earlier this year, Dennis emphasized that women should never feel at fault or responsible for their spouse or boyfriend’s addiction to pornography because of something they did or didn’t do.

      “They should not accept responsibility for his choice,” he said. “Yes, there are triggers and issues in men’s lives that help to create the atmosphere for them to be tempted; however, it’s still his responsibility to live a holy life. No wife or girlfriend should tolerate continued pornography use in her man’s life. There should be strong boundaries and consequences enforced. She should demand accountability on his part. She should be his strongest prayer warrior, but not become his accountability partner.”

      Continue reading “Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, More Examples – and Women and Porn”

    Famous Evangelical Says Drinking Coffee is Destroying Marriage

    Famous Evangelical Says Drinking Coffee is Destroying Marriage

    And with this coffee news story, we have a perfect convergence of several topics I regularly cover on this blog:

    1. Conservative Christianity’s frustrating, unbiblical obsession with many aspects of (hetero) marriage

    2. Conservative Christianity’s frustrating, unbiblical obsession with homosexuality / homosexual marriage

    3. Conservative Christianity’s frustrating, tiring obsession with secular sin and the culture wars

    (If you’re new to this blog, you may want to read the (Link): “About” page (which was updated a month or two ago) – because if you read this entry assuming, “Oooh, this blogger must be liberal and hates religion and right wingers!,” you would be mistaken. I’m borderline Christian veering into agnosticism, am right wing, but am critical of some of the lunacy I see in conservative Christianity and the Republican Party.)

    Apparently, evangelical history buff and history spokesguy David Barton, thinks drinking Starbucks coffee is an attack against or affront to God, and an attack on traditional marriage:

    (Link): Christians can’t buy Starbucks: speaker [David Barton]

      David Barton tells an Alabama Baptist congregation there is no way to drink Starbucks coffee and be “biblically correct.”

      By Bob Allen

      A guest preacher told worshippers at a prominent Southern Baptist church in Alabama that Christians should not drink Starbucks coffee because the company supports gay marriage.

      “Starbucks is pouring all this money into destroying traditional marriage,” David Barton of WallBuilders said May 19 from the pulpit of Whitesburg Baptist Church in Huntsville, Ala.

      Barton, a former preacher and teacher controversial for his advocacy of Christianity playing a more prominent role in American society and politics, cited news about Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz defending the global coffee giant’s support of same-sex marriage at a shareholder meeting in March among examples of how Christians should apply Bible principles to daily life.

      “At their stockholder meeting one of the folks, a stockholder, said ‘You know, we’ve got a whole lot of people who support traditional marriage.’ We’re out front on gay marriage. We’re going to lose a lot of people who buy Starbucks coffee who don’t believe in that,” Barton said. “And he [Schultz] said profits that roll into this company are going to be poured into overturning traditional marriage.”

      “They funded big time trying to destroy marriage in California through Prop. 8,” Barton said. “They did successfully pour a ton of money into whipping traditional marriage in Washington. In the election of 2012 Washington said, ‘No, we want homosexual marriage, not traditional marriage.’”

      “So Starbucks is pouring all this money into destroying traditional marriage,” Barton said. “The question is, can a Christian give money to a group he knows will use it to attack what God supports? If you know that when you buy a cup of Starbucks, 5, 10, 15 cents is going to be used to defeat marriage, can you do that? The answer is no.”

      “Biblically, there’s no way a Christian can help support what is attacking God,” he continued. “I’m sorry. You’ve got to find some other coffee to drink. You can’t drink Starbucks and be biblically correct on this thing. It’s just a real simple principle.”

      Barton’s comments gained national attention after People For the American Way posted a 37-second excerpt two-thirds of the way through a 31-minute sermon on the organization’s Right Wing Watch blog.

    Yeah. All the complaining against secular culture by conservative Christians and Republicans for the past 30 years has done nothing to halt the culture’s erosion, and which brand of coffee to drink seems to be a Romans 14 matter for the Christian.

    Until conservative Christian culture in America starts showing as much fervor for and interest in never-married Christian adults past the age of 30 (as well as other marginalized groups in Christianity) and taking productive steps to help older singles actually get married (and help them in other ways), I will continue to scoff and eye-roll at their outrage over people’s lifestyles and morality of Non-Christians.

    Video of Barton telling Christians not to drink Starbucks coffee:

    —Related posts, this blog:—-

    (Link): Conservative Christianity Stuck in 1950s Leave it To Beaver-ville

    (Link): Have we made an idol of families? (copy)

    (Link): Reviewers of Dobson’s book about parenting girls confirms it – U.S. Christians fixated on 1950s culture
    ————————

    Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.'”

    Atlantic: What Being Editor in Chief of Playgirl Taught Me About Female Desire – The case for abandoning the myth that “women aren’t visual.” by Ronnie Koenig

    You’ll notice that this editorial from The Atlantic I linked to below says the same thing I have said in previous posts on this blog – women, and yes, this includes Christian women, are in fact visually oriented, but this is a fact that some men, especially conservative Christian men, find threatening or uncomfortable.

    Men coming to terms with the notion that women are visually oriented might require men to get off their flabby asses and work out at a gym, jog five days a week, and go on a diet to lose the beer gut – just like women have felt pressured to do for decades.

    It’s not enough for a man to have a healthy bank account -or to pray daily and read the Bible- to nab a woman, he needs a nice bod and pretty face to go with all the other qualities, too.

    Excerpts from The Atlantic editorial by by Ronnie Koenig:

    … But I figured there had to be some women out there who actually got turned on by the images in our magazine.

    “Who exactly reads Playgirl, anyway?”

    It was a question I got all the time during my time at Playgirl, where I eventually became editor in chief. I knew what it implied—that no straight woman in her right mind would actually volunteer to look at naked male genitalia.

    But the magazine, which has been a cultural icon since its inception in 1973, is not just for gay men. Some women like their beefcake, and others (like me) prefer the skinny rockstar look. But I was pretty sure that all of us, at some point, want to ogle naked men. Because I felt so certain that there was a female audience for Playgirl and because there was little demographic research made available to me, I began to seek these women out.

    ….Then there were the throngs of women the other editors and I met on a night out scouting for new talent at Hunkmania. I figured stuffing dollar bills into the G-strings of hunks with enough oil on their chests to keep us from fracking for at least a decade was the enterprise of bored suburban housewives, but these were hot young 20-somethings cheering and screaming for the guys.

    At the office, when I opened our Centerfolds’ fanmail, the envelopes were addressed in girly, bubble handwriting. Along with glitter and confetti, out of these letters spilled all the dirty things these women wanted to do with our hunks.

    And although the men in our magazine were never my cup of tea, it bothered me that people would repeat the old refrain that “men are visual” and women require an emotional connection in order for their panties to get wet. The idea that women ARE visual when it comes to sex makes people uncomfortable.

    It’s a lot safer to say that women prefer erotic fiction (“he put his hand on my pulsing sex”) or the images found in a silly romantic comedy montage: couples holding hands, feeding each other strawberries, and taking long, luxurious bubble baths together. The idea that we want to be visually turned on, that we expect potential partners to be visually appealing (and not just good providers or charming jokesters) is, to many people, pretty threatening.

    A recent study at the Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis backs up my theory. Study leader Andrey Anokhin measured the brain activity of women while they were viewing erotic images. Anokhin expected the women’s response to be slower compared to men, which would align with previous research on the subject, but in fact it was just as fast. “Women have responses as strong as those seen in men,” he said.

    Whether it’s Daniel Craig emerging from the ocean in a cock-revealing bathing suit, Brad Pitt in Fight Club or Adam from Girls with his shirt off (yes, please) women desire visual stimulation just as much as the next guy.

    Women may not be turned on by a full-page picture of a penis the way men might like to look at close-ups of vaginas in porn, but what we’re discovering is that male and female sexual desire is more alike than different.

    In his new book, What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire, journalist Daniel Bergner finds there can be a vast divide between what society expects women to desire and what actually turns them on. In an interview with Time he explains how scientific evidence forces us to reevaluate old assumptions about women and sex.

    “We’re speaking in generalities here, but on average, we’re told that women are sexually programmed to seek out one good man and thus more suited to monogamy. That seems so convenient and comforting to men and so soothing to society, that we can rely on women as a kind of social glue.”

    By citing studies using plethysmography, which measures blood flow to the vagina, Bergner begins to demystify a subject that had previously seemed unknowable. Instead of relying on hearsay about what women want, we are challenged to look at the hard science.

    Harry Reis, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester and a co-author of a study published in the February 2013 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology says that while the psychological differences between men and women have historically been neatly lumped into two distinct categories, statistical evidence does not support that. The study authors write:

    Contrary to the assertions of pop psychology titles like Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, it is untrue that men and women think about their relationships in qualitatively different ways… Even leading researchers in gender and stereotyping can fall into the same trap.

    What turns women on is not a mystery wrapped in an enigma. The pervasive idea that female arousal is a circuitous, delicate, and finicky thing is a sneaky way of spaying us.

    It’s certainly more socially acceptable for men to value physical appearance. Case in point— male nudity at the movies. When we see male nudity on film it’s often played for laughs.

    While men (and women) are treated to Halle Berry’s breasts, the best we girls can get is “joke dick” — think Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall or Mark Wahlberg at the end of Boogie Nights.

    If we acknowledge that women are visual creatures then it puts more pressure on men to look good.

    While a shlubby sitcom writer might try to convince us that hot girls do, in fact, want to marry fat, funny bald guys, most women want to be visually attracted to their partner.

    In fact, a 2012 survey conducted by Harris Interactive revealed that physical attraction matters to both men and women. Seventy-eight percent of over 1,000 men and women polled said being attracted to their partner is “very important.”

    Sexuality is not a one-size-fits all proposition. And I’ll admit that many women are not turned on by the images in Playgirl.

    But I’m against downplaying the strength, vigor and animalistic quality of female sexual arousal by dressing it up with flowers and chocolate-dipped strawberries. When it belongs to the right person, a naked male body can be exactly what a woman wants.

    —————-
    — Related Posts This Blog–

    (Link): New study: Average American man is ugly and fat – And yes, men, you should panic because American women DO judge you based on your looks

    (Link): Women Are Visually Oriented Too – Reminder 1

    (Link):  Yes Women Are Visually Oriented – Hundreds of female marathon runners abandon their race to mob ‘impossibly handsome’ policeman for selfies

    (Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

    (Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

    (Link): Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]

    (Link): Married Women Engage in Sexual Sin – and most men in denial particularly Christian conservatives

    (Link): More ‘Men Are Visual’ Baloney, Discussed at Another Blog

    (Link):Conservative Christian Sexist Immature Imbecilic Pressure on Women to Look Pretty and Skinny and to Put Out Sexually

    —————

    Percentage of Christians, Americans Who Have Read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ the Same

    Percentage of Christians, Americans Who Have Read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ the Same

    I haven’t read the ’50 Shades’ book myself. It’s some kind of soft-pr0n book.

    It looks like members of contemporary Christianity, despite all their sermonizing, yelling, and fist-shaking at promiscuity and pre marital sex, has done nothing to keep Christians from misbehaving just as badly sexually as Non Christians.

    Pervy pastors such as Mark Driscoll and Ed Young would probably want to use “50 Shades” as lesson material for their church sermons.

    (Link): Percentage of Christians, Americans Who Have Read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ the Same

      By Jeff Schapiro , Christian Post Reporter
      June 5, 2013|2:40 pm

      A new study has revealed there is no difference between the percentage of Christians who have read Fifty Shades of Grey and the percentage of all Americans who have read the book, which has at times been described as “mommy porn.”

      According to Barna Group researchers, nine percent of practicing Christians have read E.L. James’ erotic novel, and the same percentage of all American adults have done the same. Sixteen percent of women have read the bestseller, which was more popular among older readers – one out of ten of both Busters (ages 29-47) and Boomers (ages 48-66) say they have read the book. Among those adults who read Fifty Shades, one-in-five (19 percent) were practicing Christians.

      Barna Group surveyed 1,075 American adults in January to find out who is reading some popular titles. For the purpose of the research, “practicing faith Christians” were those who self-identified as Christian or Catholic, who had attended a church service in the last month and who strongly agreed that their faith is “very important” to them.