Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities

Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities

I am a social conservative, and I don’t support homosexuality. I probably wouldn’t be too opinionated about homosexual marriage either way if not for the homosexuals who are absolutely militant about their lifestyles and try to sue the crud out of anyone who doesn’t agree with it, or bakers who, due to religious reasons, (Link): don’t want to provide cakes for homosexual marriage ceremonies.

I also realize that militant homosexual groups are very vocal and active in trying to cram their views down the throats of all Americans, which annoys me to no end. I don’t particularly care if people are homosexual, as long as they’d get off their soap boxes about it and stop forcing the matter.

However, many conservative Christians, and certainly the Southern Baptist Convention and series of churches, remains abnormally fixated on all things homosexual (and on other aspects of secular culture), as well as too keen to try to push Christian agendas via politics.

At the recent SBC (Southern Baptist Convention) held in Houston, Texas, here is one consensus they reached:

(Link): Southern Baptists condemn Boy Scouts over admission of gays

Excerpt (by the way, this article incorrectly refers to Southern Baptists as “Protestants”. Southern Baptists are not Protestants):

    The nation’s largest Protestant denomination stopped short of calling for its member churches to boycott the Boy Scouts, but voiced strong opposition to acceptance of gay scouts – with a top church leader predicting at the annual gathering of Southern Baptists that a “mass exodus” of youths from the program that has been a rite of passage for more than a century.

Instead of being preoccupied by those outside the church, Christians are supposed to help fellow Christians first and foremost ((Link): Galatians 6:10), and primarily judge those who are within the body of Christ, not obsessively focus on judging Non Christians in secular culture:

    What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? (1 Cor 5:12)

Southern Baptists and a lot of other Christians claim they are concerned about the inroads homosexuals are making in culture, not just with the BSA (Boy Scouts), but concerning the erosion of “traditional marriage.”

The deterioration of traditional marriage by homosexuals does not really matter all that much, when there is currently a sizable section of Americans, particularly unmarried Christian hetero-sexual women, who desire marriage, but there are no marriage partners (single Christian men of comparable age) for them to marry.

Continue reading “Southern Baptists on Boy Scouts and Homosexuals – Misplaced Priorities”

“He’s Got Muscles” – Pat Robertson Weirdness (Discussing Tebow’s Sexiness)

“He’s got muscles” – Pat Robertson Weirdness (Discussing Tebow’s Sexiness)

I almost forgot about this! On the June 11, 2013 broadcast of “The 700 Club,” host Pat Roberston was talking about Tim Tebow, the football player.

Robertson got a little nutty, though, going into details about Tebow’s physique. If I can find video of it on You Tube, I’ll add it to this post.

I don’t recall Robertson’s exact words, but he mentioned something about Tim Tebow’s “muscular body,” and I think Tebow’s “wide shoulders” and developed chest.

And I sat there listening, thinking, “What the hell? Did I just hear Robertson describe Tim Tebow like a randy woman would a Chippendale’s dancer in Vegas? I do believe I did. Ew. There is just something wrong about that.”

Continue reading ““He’s Got Muscles” – Pat Robertson Weirdness (Discussing Tebow’s Sexiness)”

Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

(Link): Source

Please note: I offer a link to this with a caveat: the author appears to be a ‘gender complementarian,’ and I completely disagree with the CBMW-ish type of view of “complementarianism.” I am a gender egalitarian. However, this author does get some points right, including the portion I have excerpted below.

Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)

  • Lie #3: Women Can’t be Fulfilled or Spiritually Effective Without a Husband or Children.
  • The third lie is that women can’t be fulfilled or spiritually effective without a husband or children. Some churches teach that God’s perfect plan for every woman is to be a wife and mother. Period. Sometimes Christian women successful in business or some other professional field are made to feel unwelcome at a church, as if they are an unhealthy influence on “purer” women.
    Continue reading “Lies The Church Tells Single Women (by Sue Bohlin)”

Being Single in the Church (article)

Being Single in the Church (article)

I was brought up in the Southern Baptist church and do not agree with all teachings of the Roman Catholic Church (such as their rejection of sola fide and sola scriptura), but while the following article addresses singles in the Roman Catholic Church, I could totally relate to it. If you are Baptist or Protestant (and unmarried), I think you will be able to relate to it, too.

Being Single in the Church (article)


    By Emily Stimpson – OSV Newsweekly, 7/24/2011

    Although it may be reassuring, in some ways, that today’s unmarried Catholics have lots of company in the single life, it’s also a problem. Never before have quite so many adults, Catholics or otherwise, delayed marriage quite so late in life. Some delay by choice. Others by chance. But marriage is delayed regardless. And the results are often less than rosy.

    Continue reading “Being Single in the Church (article)”

The Train Wreck That Is the Southern Baptist Denomination

The Train Wreck That Is the Southern Baptist Denomination

As I was just remarking in the comments of the previous post to someone else:

    [About the SBC’s stance on men viewing pornography and what they consider success in conquering this issue.] That’s only the half of it. There have been a ton of articles the past two weeks about how membership in Southern Baptist Churches has dropped.

    There is also in-fighting, in that the Neo Calvinists (aka YRRs) are trying to take over the SBC.

    SBC guy Al Mohler continues to stand by SGM leader CJM who allegedly covered up child sexual abuse for over ten years in SGM churches.

    I’m thinking maybe I should do a new post about this. Hmm. I was brought up in the SBC, btw.

As long as the SBC continues to…

  • ignore child sexual abuse and turn a blind eye to it; as long as the SBC continues to
  • obsess over politics and the culture wars (battling homosexual marriage etc),
  • as long as they keep allowing Al Mohler and other Calvinists sneak young, hyper Neo Calvinists into churches that don’t want to be Calvinist, and as long as
  • they keep insisting on a sexist (gender complementarian) view of women, and as long as Southern Baptists continue
  • to focus mainly or only on the traditional, nuclear family and traditional marriage and overlook the never married or divorced or widowed adults past the age of 30;

they will keep on losing members.
Continue reading “The Train Wreck That Is the Southern Baptist Denomination”

Lookism in or Hinted At in Church Woman Conference Title

Lookism in or Hinted At in Church Woman Conference Title

Cottonwood Church, headed by pastor Conley, ((Link): site), based out of California, has a woman’s convention called “Beautiful.”

Maybe this church means well. Maybe the word “beautiful” is meant to focus on a woman’s “inner” beauty – but given the fact that women get bombarded with the “you must be physically attractive at all times, your whole life, and your value resides in nothing else but your physical beauty” message both from secular and Christian culture, I do wish this church had chosen another theme or word to describe their woman’s conference, one other than “Beautiful.”

Why didn’t they choose to call this woman’s conference “Brainy,” “Clever,” “Sharp as a Tack,” “Savvy,” “Witty” or “Awesome”?

Here is a screen shot of their 2013 Woman’s “Beautiful” conference (a.k.a. “Real Women Conference”) : (Link): site):


Related Posts, this blog:

Conflicting Message to Christian Women by Christians About Physical Appearance

Gender Complementarian Product for Females: Don’t Base Your Value on Your Looks, but Wait, Yes, You Should

The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

Atlantic Article: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.’”

Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, More Examples – and Women and Porn

Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, Married Preachers and Sexual Abuse, More Examples – and Women and Porn

Many married Christians like to assume that married Christian couples are not engaging in sexual sin, that sexual sin is something that only impacts un-married Christians. I’ve blogged about these stereotypes before.

It is also assumed by conservative Christians, and this seems even more so of the males, that women (including Christian women), are not “visually oriented,” are not visually stimulated, do not view porn, and have little to no sex drive. These are other topics I’ve blogged about on a recurring basis as well.

Here are some more examples. The first is a link to a page that – and this is virtually unheard of – a Christian author and speaker who acknowledges that married Christian men are addicted to pornography, he holds the men (not their wives) accountable for their porn viewing, and also (but sadly only briefly) mentions that some Christian women view and enjoy pornography.

(Link 1): Southern Baptist Convention 2013: ‘One Million Men Porn Free’ Among Featured Programs at Annual Meeting


Excerpts from Link 1,
“So. Baptist Convention 2013: ‘One Million Men Porn Free’ Among Featured Programs at Annual Meeting”

    By Melissa Barnhart , CP Reporter
    June 7, 2013|1:24 pm

    To combat the bondage and destruction of pornography that has seeped into millions of American households Pastor Jay Dennis of First Baptist Church at the Mall in Lakeland, Fla., created his own program, “One Million Men Porn Free.” He is hopeful that more pastors will fearlessly address the issue after they learn more about it at the Southern Baptist Convention’s annual meeting in Houston next week.

    … He’s [Dennis has] also completed two new books to help Christians deal with pornography, one for men and one for women. The women’s book will address 50 things Christian women need to know about pornography, and will teach them how to deal with their own struggles with porn.

    … In an interview with the CP earlier this year, Dennis emphasized that women should never feel at fault or responsible for their spouse or boyfriend’s addiction to pornography because of something they did or didn’t do.

    “They should not accept responsibility for his choice,” he said. “Yes, there are triggers and issues in men’s lives that help to create the atmosphere for them to be tempted; however, it’s still his responsibility to live a holy life. No wife or girlfriend should tolerate continued pornography use in her man’s life. There should be strong boundaries and consequences enforced. She should demand accountability on his part. She should be his strongest prayer warrior, but not become his accountability partner.”

    Continue reading “Married Christian Couples and Sexual Sin, More Examples – and Women and Porn”

Famous Evangelical Says Drinking Coffee is Destroying Marriage

Famous Evangelical Says Drinking Coffee is Destroying Marriage

And with this coffee news story, we have a perfect convergence of several topics I regularly cover on this blog:

1. Conservative Christianity’s frustrating, unbiblical obsession with many aspects of (hetero) marriage

2. Conservative Christianity’s frustrating, unbiblical obsession with homosexuality / homosexual marriage

3. Conservative Christianity’s frustrating, tiring obsession with secular sin and the culture wars

(If you’re new to this blog, you may want to read the (Link): “About” page (which was updated a month or two ago) – because if you read this entry assuming, “Oooh, this blogger must be liberal and hates religion and right wingers!,” you would be mistaken. I’m borderline Christian veering into agnosticism, am right wing, but am critical of some of the lunacy I see in conservative Christianity and the Republican Party.)

Apparently, evangelical history buff and history spokesguy David Barton, thinks drinking Starbucks coffee is an attack against or affront to God, and an attack on traditional marriage:

(Link): Christians can’t buy Starbucks: speaker [David Barton]

    David Barton tells an Alabama Baptist congregation there is no way to drink Starbucks coffee and be “biblically correct.”

    By Bob Allen

    A guest preacher told worshippers at a prominent Southern Baptist church in Alabama that Christians should not drink Starbucks coffee because the company supports gay marriage.

    “Starbucks is pouring all this money into destroying traditional marriage,” David Barton of WallBuilders said May 19 from the pulpit of Whitesburg Baptist Church in Huntsville, Ala.

    Barton, a former preacher and teacher controversial for his advocacy of Christianity playing a more prominent role in American society and politics, cited news about Starbucks CEO Howard Schultz defending the global coffee giant’s support of same-sex marriage at a shareholder meeting in March among examples of how Christians should apply Bible principles to daily life.

    “At their stockholder meeting one of the folks, a stockholder, said ‘You know, we’ve got a whole lot of people who support traditional marriage.’ We’re out front on gay marriage. We’re going to lose a lot of people who buy Starbucks coffee who don’t believe in that,” Barton said. “And he [Schultz] said profits that roll into this company are going to be poured into overturning traditional marriage.”

    “They funded big time trying to destroy marriage in California through Prop. 8,” Barton said. “They did successfully pour a ton of money into whipping traditional marriage in Washington. In the election of 2012 Washington said, ‘No, we want homosexual marriage, not traditional marriage.’”

    “So Starbucks is pouring all this money into destroying traditional marriage,” Barton said. “The question is, can a Christian give money to a group he knows will use it to attack what God supports? If you know that when you buy a cup of Starbucks, 5, 10, 15 cents is going to be used to defeat marriage, can you do that? The answer is no.”

    “Biblically, there’s no way a Christian can help support what is attacking God,” he continued. “I’m sorry. You’ve got to find some other coffee to drink. You can’t drink Starbucks and be biblically correct on this thing. It’s just a real simple principle.”

    Barton’s comments gained national attention after People For the American Way posted a 37-second excerpt two-thirds of the way through a 31-minute sermon on the organization’s Right Wing Watch blog.

Yeah. All the complaining against secular culture by conservative Christians and Republicans for the past 30 years has done nothing to halt the culture’s erosion, and which brand of coffee to drink seems to be a Romans 14 matter for the Christian.

Until conservative Christian culture in America starts showing as much fervor for and interest in never-married Christian adults past the age of 30 (as well as other marginalized groups in Christianity) and taking productive steps to help older singles actually get married (and help them in other ways), I will continue to scoff and eye-roll at their outrage over people’s lifestyles and morality of Non-Christians.

Video of Barton telling Christians not to drink Starbucks coffee:

—Related posts, this blog:—-

(Link): Conservative Christianity Stuck in 1950s Leave it To Beaver-ville

(Link): Have we made an idol of families? (copy)

(Link): Reviewers of Dobson’s book about parenting girls confirms it – U.S. Christians fixated on 1950s culture

Atlantic: “The case for abandoning the myth that ‘women aren’t visual.'”

Atlantic: What Being Editor in Chief of Playgirl Taught Me About Female Desire – The case for abandoning the myth that “women aren’t visual.” by Ronnie Koenig

You’ll notice that this editorial from The Atlantic I linked to below says the same thing I have said in previous posts on this blog – women, and yes, this includes Christian women, are in fact visually oriented, but this is a fact that some men, especially conservative Christian men, find threatening or uncomfortable.

Men coming to terms with the notion that women are visually oriented might require men to get off their flabby asses and work out at a gym, jog five days a week, and go on a diet to lose the beer gut – just like women have felt pressured to do for decades.

It’s not enough for a man to have a healthy bank account -or to pray daily and read the Bible- to nab a woman, he needs a nice bod and pretty face to go with all the other qualities, too.

Excerpts from The Atlantic editorial by by Ronnie Koenig:

… But I figured there had to be some women out there who actually got turned on by the images in our magazine.

“Who exactly reads Playgirl, anyway?”

It was a question I got all the time during my time at Playgirl, where I eventually became editor in chief. I knew what it implied—that no straight woman in her right mind would actually volunteer to look at naked male genitalia.

But the magazine, which has been a cultural icon since its inception in 1973, is not just for gay men. Some women like their beefcake, and others (like me) prefer the skinny rockstar look. But I was pretty sure that all of us, at some point, want to ogle naked men. Because I felt so certain that there was a female audience for Playgirl and because there was little demographic research made available to me, I began to seek these women out.

….Then there were the throngs of women the other editors and I met on a night out scouting for new talent at Hunkmania. I figured stuffing dollar bills into the G-strings of hunks with enough oil on their chests to keep us from fracking for at least a decade was the enterprise of bored suburban housewives, but these were hot young 20-somethings cheering and screaming for the guys.

At the office, when I opened our Centerfolds’ fanmail, the envelopes were addressed in girly, bubble handwriting. Along with glitter and confetti, out of these letters spilled all the dirty things these women wanted to do with our hunks.

And although the men in our magazine were never my cup of tea, it bothered me that people would repeat the old refrain that “men are visual” and women require an emotional connection in order for their panties to get wet. The idea that women ARE visual when it comes to sex makes people uncomfortable.

It’s a lot safer to say that women prefer erotic fiction (“he put his hand on my pulsing sex”) or the images found in a silly romantic comedy montage: couples holding hands, feeding each other strawberries, and taking long, luxurious bubble baths together. The idea that we want to be visually turned on, that we expect potential partners to be visually appealing (and not just good providers or charming jokesters) is, to many people, pretty threatening.

A recent study at the Washington University School of Medicine in St. Louis backs up my theory. Study leader Andrey Anokhin measured the brain activity of women while they were viewing erotic images. Anokhin expected the women’s response to be slower compared to men, which would align with previous research on the subject, but in fact it was just as fast. “Women have responses as strong as those seen in men,” he said.

Whether it’s Daniel Craig emerging from the ocean in a cock-revealing bathing suit, Brad Pitt in Fight Club or Adam from Girls with his shirt off (yes, please) women desire visual stimulation just as much as the next guy.

Women may not be turned on by a full-page picture of a penis the way men might like to look at close-ups of vaginas in porn, but what we’re discovering is that male and female sexual desire is more alike than different.

In his new book, What Do Women Want? Adventures in the Science of Female Desire, journalist Daniel Bergner finds there can be a vast divide between what society expects women to desire and what actually turns them on. In an interview with Time he explains how scientific evidence forces us to reevaluate old assumptions about women and sex.

“We’re speaking in generalities here, but on average, we’re told that women are sexually programmed to seek out one good man and thus more suited to monogamy. That seems so convenient and comforting to men and so soothing to society, that we can rely on women as a kind of social glue.”

By citing studies using plethysmography, which measures blood flow to the vagina, Bergner begins to demystify a subject that had previously seemed unknowable. Instead of relying on hearsay about what women want, we are challenged to look at the hard science.

Harry Reis, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester and a co-author of a study published in the February 2013 issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology says that while the psychological differences between men and women have historically been neatly lumped into two distinct categories, statistical evidence does not support that. The study authors write:

Contrary to the assertions of pop psychology titles like Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, it is untrue that men and women think about their relationships in qualitatively different ways… Even leading researchers in gender and stereotyping can fall into the same trap.

What turns women on is not a mystery wrapped in an enigma. The pervasive idea that female arousal is a circuitous, delicate, and finicky thing is a sneaky way of spaying us.

It’s certainly more socially acceptable for men to value physical appearance. Case in point— male nudity at the movies. When we see male nudity on film it’s often played for laughs.

While men (and women) are treated to Halle Berry’s breasts, the best we girls can get is “joke dick” — think Jason Segel in Forgetting Sarah Marshall or Mark Wahlberg at the end of Boogie Nights.

If we acknowledge that women are visual creatures then it puts more pressure on men to look good.

While a shlubby sitcom writer might try to convince us that hot girls do, in fact, want to marry fat, funny bald guys, most women want to be visually attracted to their partner.

In fact, a 2012 survey conducted by Harris Interactive revealed that physical attraction matters to both men and women. Seventy-eight percent of over 1,000 men and women polled said being attracted to their partner is “very important.”

Sexuality is not a one-size-fits all proposition. And I’ll admit that many women are not turned on by the images in Playgirl.

But I’m against downplaying the strength, vigor and animalistic quality of female sexual arousal by dressing it up with flowers and chocolate-dipped strawberries. When it belongs to the right person, a naked male body can be exactly what a woman wants.

— Related Posts This Blog–

(Link): New study: Average American man is ugly and fat – And yes, men, you should panic because American women DO judge you based on your looks

(Link): Women Are Visually Oriented Too – Reminder 1

(Link): Why Doesn’t Your Husband Want to Have Sex? by E. Bernstein

(Link):  Yes Women Are Visually Oriented – Hundreds of female marathon runners abandon their race to mob ‘impossibly handsome’ policeman for selfies

(Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

(Link): The Annoying, Weird, Sexist Preoccupation by Christian Males with Female Looks and Sexuality

(Link): Article: Scientists: Why penis size does matter [to women]

(Link): Married Women Engage in Sexual Sin – and most men in denial particularly Christian conservatives

(Link): More ‘Men Are Visual’ Baloney, Discussed at Another Blog

(Link): Conservative Christian Sexist Immature Imbecilic Pressure on Women to Look Pretty and Skinny and to Put Out Sexually


Percentage of Christians, Americans Who Have Read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ the Same

Percentage of Christians, Americans Who Have Read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ the Same

I haven’t read the ’50 Shades’ book myself. It’s some kind of soft-pr0n book.

It looks like members of contemporary Christianity, despite all their sermonizing, yelling, and fist-shaking at promiscuity and pre marital sex, has done nothing to keep Christians from misbehaving just as badly sexually as Non Christians.

Pervy pastors such as Mark Driscoll and Ed Young would probably want to use “50 Shades” as lesson material for their church sermons.

(Link): Percentage of Christians, Americans Who Have Read ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ the Same

    By Jeff Schapiro , Christian Post Reporter
    June 5, 2013|2:40 pm

    A new study has revealed there is no difference between the percentage of Christians who have read Fifty Shades of Grey and the percentage of all Americans who have read the book, which has at times been described as “mommy porn.”

    According to Barna Group researchers, nine percent of practicing Christians have read E.L. James’ erotic novel, and the same percentage of all American adults have done the same. Sixteen percent of women have read the bestseller, which was more popular among older readers – one out of ten of both Busters (ages 29-47) and Boomers (ages 48-66) say they have read the book. Among those adults who read Fifty Shades, one-in-five (19 percent) were practicing Christians.

    Barna Group surveyed 1,075 American adults in January to find out who is reading some popular titles. For the purpose of the research, “practicing faith Christians” were those who self-identified as Christian or Catholic, who had attended a church service in the last month and who strongly agreed that their faith is “very important” to them.

Marriage from online meetings is more stable, satisfying (article)

Marriage from online meetings is more stable, satisfying

(Link): Marriage from online meetings is more stable, satisfying

    by John Timmer – June 3 2013, 2:10pm CDT

    Like everything else, dating has moved online in recent years through a combination of organized dating services and incidental meetings (the Ars forums have enabled a number of matches). Now, a new survey of American households shows just how important this phenomenon has become: since 2005, a third of marriages were the result of online meetings, with nearly half of those coming through online dating services. The good news? Fewer relationships that started online ended up in divorce, and people were generally more satisfied with the ones that survived.

    The numbers come from a survey sponsored by eHarmony, a dating site that frequently uses its advertisements to suggest that it makes matches based on psychologically validated personality profiles. As revealed in the conflict of interest statement, one of the researchers involved in the new study is a scientific advisor to eHarmony. But the researchers got the dating company to allow them to publish their survey analysis no matter what it showed, and the group hired an outside statistician to validate the work.

    Overall, the survey included more than 19,000 people who had married between 2005 and 2012. Although it was performed online, the demographics of those who responded suggest it is broadly representative of the US population.

    All told, about a third of the marriages that occurred during that period arose from relationships that started online. A total of 45 percent of these came from online dating sites, 20 percent occurred through social networks, and another 10 percent came from chat rooms. Things like e-mail, blogs, and instant messaging all accounted for less than five percent of the relationships (online gaming came in at 3.6 percent). The real world was even more heavily fragmented: work and mutual friends accounted for 20 percent each of the introductions; school and social gatherings came in at around 10 percent each.

    Males and Hispanics are more likely to meet someone online. Online success stories are more likely to occur with older individuals (30-50) who are currently working and financially secure. There is a demographic shift in the medium used, of course. Older people are more likely to use e-mail, while younger people were more likely to meet via social networks or in virtual worlds.

    Is all this meeting online distorting our social fabric? Not if this survey is to be believed. Less than six percent of the marriages that started online ended up in divorce or separation; for real-world meetings, that figure was more than 7.5 percent. Hispanics and Asians experienced even greater benefits from online meetings. (Oddly, both Catholics and Atheists also saw a boost in marital stability if they met online.) Within the marriages that were still in existence, the marital satisfaction was higher among those who met online. Both these effects shrank a bit when demographics were controlled for, but they remained significant.

    The survey also provided some hints about what to avoid if you want to experience higher marital satisfaction. For real-world relationships, these include blind dates, bars, and meeting your future spouse through work. If it’s online, stay away from chat rooms and virtual worlds.

    Why might meeting online have a significant effect? The authors can’t rule out that there’s something specific to the personalities of those who choose to set up dates online. But they note that past studies have shown that just about everyone who communicates online is more willing to disclose things about themselves, which may help people evaluate their potential partners. In addition, they are undoubtedly able to choose from a larger group of potential partners than they’re likely to meet through work or friends.

    In the end, the survey told the company that paid for it, eHarmony, that it both is and isn’t anything special. It’s special in terms of size: it and combined account for half of the marriages that resulted from dating sites. The next closest competitor, Yahoo, only accounts for seven percent of the market. But it’s not especially good at setting up lasting relationships. The different sites initially had slight differences in how well they generated marriages, but those differences vanished once demographic factors were controlled for. So at least as far as this survey is concerned, all dating sites are pretty much the same. And they’re all better than a chat room.

_____Related posts this blog:_____

(Link): Stop Telling Your Single Friends to Try Dating Sites – Please.

(Link): Why Online Dating Doesn’t Work

(Link): Online Dating Vs Meeting in Real Life (copy)

Christian Media’s (Christian Post’s) Obsession with Marriage and A Couple Other Issues

Christian Media’s (Christian Post’s) Obsession with Marriage and A Couple Other Issues

Granted, Christian television networks such as TBN are guilty of regularly airing shows whose hosts constantly discuss marriage and offer tips to married people on how to have a great marriage, but online publications such as “Christianity Today” and “Christian Post” are no better.

Within the space of several days, the Christian Post ran a few articles/editorials about marriage (about three of these appeared in a single day), such as…

Is Your Church Ready for the Marriage Revolution? BY RUSSELL D. MOORE

Greg Laurie: How to Get a ‘New’ Husband

    After messages directed towards men in the previous weeks, Pastor Greg Laurie of Harvest Church in Riverside, Calif., turned to women on Sunday, speaking to them about how they can get a “new” husband if they heed advice by Apostle Peter. Laurie’s wife joined him on stage.

Greg Laurie: 4 Words That Can Change Your Marriage

One guy in this video says he is single, but the rest of the video is about married guys complaining about their wives (this video was linked to from Christian Post’s home page):

(Link): Video: “Romantically Challenged”

When main stream and fringe kook Christians are not busy pontificating about HETERO-sexual marriage (offering advice to marrieds on how to have a great marriage), or bemoaning the dissolution of hetero marriages, or worrying that hetero marriage is being delayed, they are hand-wringing over “the millennials” (those who are currently in their 20s), abortion and homosexuality, such as (these are more headlines from the past three days from Christian Post):

ABC to Debut Jennifer Lopez-Produced ‘The Fosters’ Series About Lesbian Couple

    ABC Family will debut on Monday night a new drama series, “The Fosters,” which is produced by Jennifer Lopez and tells the story of a lesbian bi-racial couple who raise biological and adoptive children together.

How a Four-Year-Old Reacts to Abortion

The Kids Are (Not Quite) All Right: Millennials and Narcissism

Hard Questions: Marriage, Same-Sex Marriage, and Birth Control BY JOHN STONESTREET

GOP Should Not ‘Crusade Against Same-Sex Marriage,’ College Republicans Say BY NAPP NAZWORTH

IRONY ALERT (this from the magazine that discusses almost nothing BUT homosexuality on a daily basis):
(Link):Are You Tired of the Homosexuality Debate? BY JIM DENISON

Noah’s Ark Inspires Gay Wedding Cruise? Christians Call Painting Ironic

Pro-Traditional Marriage Group Claims ‘Victory’ in Illinois

Gay Advocates Want to Shutter Christian Bakery That Refused to Make Wedding Cake for Lesbians

Washington Post Poll Claims Majority in Bible Belt State Support Gay Marriage

Of the few shout outs to singles, but which are cliches’ in that they focus on dating sites (how about more editorials about how churches marginalize or ignore older singles):

“The Peril and Potential of Online Dating by Rod Anderson”

Is Online Dating Biblical? BY JIM DALY

Being Unequally Yoked

Being Unequally Yoked

Since I was a kid, I believed very strongly in following the Bible, and that meant following the Bible’s imperative about not being “unequally yoked” (ie, don’t get married to a Non Christian). I kept waiting, waiting, waiting for God to direct a Christian guy across my path, but it never happened. (I was engaged years ago to a guy who claimed to be a Christian, but I’m still single.)

Anyway, in light of the fact it’s unrealistic for an unmarried Christian woman to hold out for a Christian person as a spouse, and in light of the fact every other week I’m seeing news stories about Christian men who rape people, murder their wives, or fondle children, I’m not seeing an advantage in dating or marrying a Christian over a Non-Christian.

I recently found this:

(Link): Is Interfaith Marriage Always Wrong, Given that the Bible Teaches Us Not to Be ‘Unequally Yoked’?


    …Genuine interfaith marriage is a challenge I don’t recommend. But as marriage has shifted in purpose over time, many Christians have added layers of meaning onto Paul’s wise command. “Unequally yoked” has evolved into a graded criterion for an optimal mate rather than a simple test for an acceptable one. This is a problem.

    Why? Spiritual maturity is not equally distributed among men and women in the peak marrying years. Quality survey data reveal only two serious, churchgoing evangelical men for every three comparable women. Thus, one out of every three evangelical women is not in a position to marry a man who’s her “spiritual equal,” let alone “head.”

    This elevated standard now translates—for women, at least—to something like this: “Find that uncommon man who is your spiritual equal or leader, not to mention kind, virtuous, industrious, employed, and, if possible, handsome, and then figure out how to make him want to marry you.” A tall order it is. As a result of the increasing “failure to launch,” evangelicals find themselves saying lots of nice things about the benefits of singleness (which certainly do exist), but seem unwilling to move their boundary stones for marriage. Except that they have moved them, away from acceptability and toward ideals. It’s not a surprising move, since marriage is far more voluntary and economically unnecessary for women (and men) today than it was as recently as 50 years ago.

    The pressure we put on marriage to be fabulously great is at an all-time high. Marriage is slowly becoming something that only an elite will attain on a natural timetable connected to their height of fertility. Thus, this is not the time to further restrict supply by adding layers of spiritual qualifications. Marriage is a good thing— a school for sinners and a source of grace—and I don’t wish for Christians to miss out on it except by their own active choice or vocational call.

Although the author does say at one point (and I disagree with him on this score):

    What I don’t recommend is a marriage to an unbelieving spouse, to one who professes an altogether different religion, or to an obstructionist who systematically places barriers in the way of your Christian development.

If you search this blog, you will find numerous copies of news stories about “Christian” men who cheated on their wives, use prostitutes, or who were arrested for murder, rape, or child molestation. It really doesn’t matter if a Christian woman marries a Non-Christian or not, as there is no difference between Christian males and Non Christian ones.

Related post(s) this blog:

(Link): Forget About Being ‘Equally Yoked’ – Article: ‘My Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage’

(Link): Why I Now Reject “Be Equally Yoked” – and on Becoming More Agnostic

(Link): Being Equally Yoked: Christian Columnist Dan Delzell Striving to Keep Christian Singles Single Forever

(Link): Wife of Preacher Shoots, Kills Him, Recounts Years of Physical and Sexual Abuse – So Much for the Equally Yoked Teaching and the Notion that Christian married sex is Mind Blowing

(Link): Being Equally Yoked: Christian Columnist Dan Delzell Striving to Keep Christian Singles Single Forever

(Link): Obnoxious and Sexist Preacher Mark Driscoll Wants Christian Singles to Stay Single Indefinitely – And Even Though Unwanted, Prolonged Singleness has Been a Huge Issue For Christian Singles for A Couple Decades Now – Driscoll: ‘Christians should not marry pro choicers’

Women Are Visually Oriented Too – Reminder 1

Women Are Visually Oriented Too – Reminder 1

Huge myth out there among Christian conservatives that women are purely emotional, sentimental, and only want cuddles and enjoy knitting sweaters and brewing tea… while all men are sexified types who are visually oriented, sex- obsessed sex beasts.

Women – Christian women- are not blind. Women are visually oriented. Women do not lack a libido.

One of my top Hollywood crushes is actor Hugh Jackman (yes, I’ve heard the rumors about him, don’t know if they are true, don’t care – I just enjoy looking at the pretty picture that he is). I’m borderline Christian (I’ve turned a bit towards agnosticism lately, not entirely), and I have eyesight.

But for years I was a very conservative Christian. I have sexual desire, even during years I was a staunchly conservative Christian, and I appreciate a fine looking man. Many other Christian women are the same as I am.

But the vast majority of Christian teachings and content about dating, sex, gender differences, and marriage continually assume that women don’t want sex at all, don’t like it at all, and that women supposedly don’t care about men’s physical appearance, when most of us do. Very much.
Men need to stay in shape – the ladies do not like scrawny, ugly, or fat guys, but most Christian preachers and publications don’t teach men this, they instead tell women to stay in shape and look pretty.

Women do enjoy looking at guys who look like this (these are photos of actor Hugh Jackman):


Christian women would prefer looking at a guy like Hugh Jackman, than say, Barney Fife.

Really, preachers need to stop assuming that all women totally lack sex drives, that they all hate sex all the time, or that women only care about a man’s “spirituality” or inner qualities and will happily date (or marry) a fat baldy, if only he’s really nice and he carries a Bible under one arm. Oh puh-leeze. That is not reality.

Here’s a musical reminder that women have sex drives and enjoy hot looking men:


Related posts, this blog:


(Link): Women Are Visual And Like Hot Looking Men (Part 1) Joseph in Genesis Was A Stud Muffin

Weird Ass Farmer’s Dating Site Commercial

Weird Ass Farmer’s Dating Site Commercial

I wrote about these guys before (Link): here.

I just saw a new commercial for their dating site:


“City folks just don’t get it.” I’m a suburban girl, and no, I don’t get it, I guess, because that is one weird ass commercial and dating site niche.

See more posts about dating sites on this blog:

(Link): Dating Sites

Magical Christian Thinking: If you have pre-marital sex you won’t get a decent spouse

More Magical Christian Thinking: If you have pre-marital sex you won’t get a decent spouse

As was astutely pointed out in the comments of this other site below this article (at The Christian Post), this Christian propaganda is dishonest: one can be a Christian virgin over 30 years of age and still never get married.

It's Magical
It’s Magical

In the Bible, God does not promise great spouses to people who remain virgins, nor does he promise any sort of spouse at all (but see note below), but Christian publications keep publishing these articles, or the occasional editorial, which suggest if you have sex before marriage, no man will ever want you, or God will punish you by with-holding a husband, or the husband you do get will be a great big loser.

(Note: Though I will say that a case can perhaps be made that in a round-about way, the Bible does promise a spouse to people: there are numerous verses in the Bible that talk about God sending you the desires of your heart, that if you pray and have faith, God will grant you anything you ask, and so on and so forth.)

This article is also another example of Christian fear mongering in regards to sex: trying to scare people, especially women, from having sex before marriage (note the emphasis in the article on women’s sexuality, not male sexuality – which is funny, because usually, conservative Christians assume that women are emotional and not sexual anyhow).

(Link): How Premarital Sex Rewires Your Brain, Affects Your Chances of Finding Life Mate

  • By Leonardo Blair , CP Reporter
  • May 30, 2013|6:54 pm
  • Dopamine, Oxytocin and Vasopressin are three powerful and important products released during sex between a man and a woman in a committed relationship and helps couples bond. When they are introduced in casual sexual relationships, however, they can cause much trouble.
  • Working together, the two hormones and one chemical produced by the human body during sex helps to bond a man and a woman together for long-term relationship.
  • “When someone is involved sexually it makes them want to repeat that act. Their brain produces lots of Dopamine – a powerful chemical, which is compared to heroin on the brain. Dopamine is your internal pleasure/reward system. When Dopamine is involved, it changes how we remember,” notes a Conquer Series report.
  • …So when a woman becomes intimate with a man, her body also releases Oxytocin and she becomes emotionally bonded to him. “Have you wondered sometimes why a woman will stay with a man who’s abusing her? We know now, it’s because she bonds to him emotionally, because of the Oxytocin release during sex,” the report said.

That last bit about why women stay with an abusive man – they are incorrect. Why women stay with an abuser has nothing to do with “hormones” and everything to do with lack of boundaries and low self esteem.


Related Posts:

(Link):  Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”

(Link):  Older Christian Singles and Celibacy (There Are No Consequences for Sexual Sin)

(Link):  Churches Would Rather Hear From Ex Porn Stars Than Adult Celibates or Virgins – Church Invites Ex Porn Star to be Guest Speaker

The Rise of the Single Mother and of Women Out-Earning Men

The Rise of the Single Mother and of Women Out-Earning Men

There will be weeping and gnashing of teeth, and much sorrow over the demise of the 1950ish nuclear family and the Ward Cleaver type father, among Christians who have made an idol out of the Culture Wars and social conservativism who see these news stories:

(Link): Moms Now Primary or Sole Breadwinner in Record-Breaking 40 Percent of US Homes With Children

    In a record-breaking 40 percent of U.S. households with children under 18, mothers are either the primary or sole breadwinner, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of data from the U.S. Census Bureau.

    According to the analysis, the share of primary breadwinning moms was just 11 percent in 1960.

    ….When it comes to American sentiment on single mothers, some 64 percent feel that the growing trend is a “big problem.” Young people, however, are less concerned about the trend than older adults. More whites are also likely to see the growing trend of single mothers as a “big problem” and men and women are equally divided on the issue.

    ….Other highlights of the analysis point out that the total family income is higher when the mother, not the father, is the primary breadwinner; married women are increasingly better educated than their husbands and most people reject the idea that it is bad for a marriage if the wife out-earns her husband.

Acceptance of single-motherhood grows, poll shows

    Everson and women like her are part of a shift in American society. An Associated Press-WE tv poll of people younger than 50 found that more than 2 in 5 unmarried women without children – or 42 percent – would consider having a child on their own without a partner, including more than a third, or 37 percent, who would consider adopting solo.

    Continue reading “The Rise of the Single Mother and of Women Out-Earning Men”

Are Christians Tossing Out Prohibitions Against Pre Martial Sex (radio show)

Are Christians Tossing Out Prohibitions Against Pre-Martial Sex (radio show)

Radio show you can listen to online:

(Link): Hour 1- Glenn Stanton from Focus on the Family discusses evangelicals and pre-marital sex [with host Janet Mefferd].

Mefferd and some Focus on the Family guy named Glenn Stanton talk about this article on the Atlantic (which I have not read and don’t know if I will or not):

(Link): “Why Some Evangelicals Are Trying to Stop Obsessing over Pre Marital Sex”

On this radio show, Mefferd and Stanton explain, as I have previously on this blog, that sexual purity and pre-marital sex teachings are under attack by liberal Christians, some feminists, and emergents (they mention Rachel Held Evans by name), mostly because women who have pre-marital sex feel guilty or ashamed by sexual purity teachings.

My reasons for giving up on pre-marital abstinence teachings (I remain a virgin at 40+; I was waiting until marriage to have sex, I never got married but had hoped to be) is in part because the church does not support Christian never married virgins past age 30.

We older Christian virgins and our particular struggles are left alone, are ignored, especially the females: if you are not a wife and mommy, churches will not permit you to serve.

We older Christian virgins are ignored by the larger Christian community. We get no support to hang on to chastity, we get no other kind of support (married couples don’t invite us to their homes for holiday dinners and the like). All the focus goes to teens and 20-somethings and supporting them with friendships and support in fighting sexual struggles.

So, I no longer see the point in waiting until marriage to have sex.

I’ve already decided that when I begin dating again, I will have sex before marriage, provided I esteem the guy I’m dating enough. If he’s an idiot, I won’t bother – I’m not giving it up for just any chump to come along. I’ll still have standards, don’t get me wrong, but not the lofty, “I’m waiting for a Christian Prince Charming to marry me first” unobtainable kind of standard. (But by the way: sex outside of marriage is still a sin, even if I do it. I’m at least honest enough to admit it.)

Contrary to what Mefferd and Glenn say on the radio show, there are indeed segments of the Christian community, usually the fringe kook types, but sometimes by mainstream, well- meaning- but- idiotic clods, who do indeed tell fornicators they are dirt and ‘used goods’ if they have sex outside of marriage; RHE and other emergents, as well as some feminists and liberals, are not entirely making this up, as Mefferd and Stanton claim.

Mefferd and Stanton, on the radio show, discuss a book by some guy entitled “Unclean,” about sexual issues as taught among Christians, a book that maintains that the sexual purity lectures are sexist because they always focus on the female’s sexuality and virginity. I agree – it’s something I’ve noticed that is frequently done, even by FEMINISTS who discuss this topic. HOWEVER, the solution is not to toss out sexual purity teachings because they focus on females, but to hold males up to the same standards, because the Bible does.

The male host, Stanton, though, says there is something “special” about a woman’s purity – what the hell? He adds that sex and boyfriend-girlfriend breakups, is a more emotional ordeal for females. Maybe or maybe not, but this is getting back into the sexist, lop-sided expectation and viewpoints that purity standards are really not equally applicable to males.

The Bible nowhere says that sexual purity, or ‘virginity- until- marriage,’ are more important for females to practice because females are supposedly “more emotional” or have “more unique hearts” than men. The Bible doesn’t get into the psychology of men and women and how, when, or if one gender is more damaged by or sensitive to sex than the other – the Bible just expects both genders to save sex for marriage, period, end of story.

The Bible nowhere teaches that women are more dainty, emotional and ergo more heavily damaged by pre-marital sex than men are – even if it could be proven they are, so what? The Bible does not use that as a rationale for why people should abstain. I’m not saying it’s not a point females should not consider before boinking a man, BUT I am saying it AIN’T IN THE BIBLE.

Anyway, you can listen to the interview yourself at the link I provided above.

Related posts this blog:

(Link): No, Christians and Churches Do NOT Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – Easy Forgivism

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless [and Celibate] Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Emergents, Sexual Abuse Victims, some Feminists, and Liberals attacking sexual purity teachings and virgin until marriage teachings mentioned in the following post):

(Link): Emergent Christian Guy Says Christians Need to “Celebrate Pre Marital Sex” (Fornication)

Robertson Defends His Horrible Advice to Married Woman

Robertson Defends His Horrible Advice to Married Woman

On today’s broadcast of “The 700 Club,” Pat Robertson’s co host, Terri, read a message from a woman who had divorced years ago and said she thought Robertson’s advice was great and she wishes she had heard that advice years ago.

This is the same awful advice Robertson was dragged over the coals for a week ago, because he did not hold the cheating male spouse accountable for his cheating but blamed the cheating on the wife.

Out of the 100,000 people who heard Robertson’s advice, 999,999 of them thought it was sexist and horrible, but one lady, one (who wrote their show today) found it sage and helpful.

Today, Robertson again brushed off the sexism and crappiness of his advice by saying, “I’m not “PC” in case you haven’t noticed.”

You can watch and listen to Robertson defend his lousy advice here:

(Link): Pat Robertson Bring It On, Defends Lousy Sexist Advice

Robertson said in that video that only Non Christians are attacking him for that advice: wrong. I’ve been a life long Christian (on the edge of agnosticism lately), and I found his advice sexist and deplorable, and I’ve seen other Christians online who thought his advice was terrible.

Read more about this topic here on this blog:

(Link): Pat Robertson Expects Men to Commit Sexual Sin (and it’s not the first time)

(Link): Pat Robertson to married woman: All men are cheaters and sex crazed horn dogs, but that’s okay because they’re men

(Link): Advocate of Family Values Doesn’t Uphold Family Values | Stop Asking Pat Robertson for Advice America!

Related Post:

(Link):  Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single  – Pat Robertson Replies to Letter from Four Time Divorced Woman Who Wants to Know If God Will Send Her a Non-Abusive Husband


Famous Historical Christian Figure Expects Everyone To Fail At Sexual Purity

Famous Historical Christian Figure Expects Everyone To Fail At Sexual Purity

Go to this page and click on the dark red colored link that says “Podcast 25”

(Link): Mere Christianity: Politics, Sex, Marriage

I listened to that podcast one time yesterday, in which the host discusses C S Lewis’ views about sex. It is possible either the host unintentionally misrep. the guy’s views, or I didn’t understand what he’s saying.

Based on my understanding of his podcast, it sounded to me as though he said Lewis was saying nobody, and I mean nobody, not even Christians, can be expected to live a life of sexual purity – and as such, because EVERYONE misses the mark in sexual purity, we should all be super duper, super forgiving about sexual sin.

I’ve heard of C. S. Lewis over the years, though I’ve never actually read any of his books for myself. I thought this Lewis guy was supposedly a great stalwart defender and expositor of the Christian faith – but he thinks it’s impossible for Christians to remain sexually pure? Not quite the defender of Christian morals I thought he would be.

One reason of several why there is so much fornication among Christians today is not due solely to delayed marriage, it’s not all the smut in society, it’s not due to The Pill and feminism, but that Christians have no expectation that people, whether Christian or Non, can practice sexual self control.

See my previous posts on this issue:

(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity

(Link): Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – Easy Forgivism

(Link): Never Married Christians Over Age 35 who are childless [and Celibate] Are More Ignored Than Divorced or Infertile People or Single Parents

(Emergents, Sexual Abuse Victims, some Feminists, and Liberals attacking sexual purity teachings and virgin until marriage teachings mentioned in the following post):

(Link): Emergent Christian Guy Says Christians Need to “Celebrate Pre Marital Sex” (Fornication)