Why Happy People Cheat – A good marriage is no guarantee against infidelity. by E. Perel

Why Happy People Cheat – A good marriage is no guarantee against infidelity. by E. Perel

(Link): Why Happy People Cheat – A good marriage is no guarantee against infidelity. by E. Perel

…Strange as it may seem, affairs have a lot to teach us about marriage—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They reveal our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment—attitudes that have changed dramatically over the past 100 years.

….Affairs are not what they used to be because marriage is not what it used to be. For much of history, and in many parts of the world today, marriage was a pragmatic alliance that ensured economic stability and social cohesion.

Continue reading “Why Happy People Cheat – A good marriage is no guarantee against infidelity. by E. Perel”

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Aspiring Pastor Accused of Killing Wife in His Sleep Blames Cold Medicine

Aspiring Pastor Accused of Killing Wife in His Sleep Blames Cold Medicine

Stories like this make the Christian “Equally Yoked” rule look stupid and unnecessary.

(Link): Aspiring Pastor Accused of Killing Wife in His Sleep Blames Cold Medicine

A 28-year-old North Carolina man is facing a murder charge after allegedly stabbing his wife in bed — but the newlywed claims he doesn’t remember carrying out the alleged crime because he might have done it in his sleep, PEOPLE confirms.

Matthew Phelps, of Raleigh, called police distraught early Friday morning, declaring that his wife, Lauren, was dead on their bedroom floor covered in blood.

Continue reading “Aspiring Pastor Accused of Killing Wife in His Sleep Blames Cold Medicine”

Jeff The Married Church Attending Guy Who Likes to Wear Diapers and Be an Adult Baby

Jeff The Married Church Attending Guy Who Likes to Wear Diapers and Be an Adult Baby

Because you may think I am making this up (I can assure you I am not), there is a video below in this post from a clip of this episode.

I don’t hardly ever watch the TV show “Cheaters,” but I was up really early a few mornings ago and watched the last 5 – 10 minutes of one episode.

The husband in the episode (I believe his name was Jeff) was sneaking around with another woman behind his wife’s back. The “Cheaters” TV show crew caught him in bed with another woman, and he was wearing a diaper.

His wife, Susan, came in to the motel room, confronted the “mistress” (or whatever she was) and started screaming at Jeff her husband.

Jeff claimed there was nothing sexual going on, it was only about him pretending to be an adult baby.

Continue reading “Jeff The Married Church Attending Guy Who Likes to Wear Diapers and Be an Adult Baby”

Wife ‘Cut Off Husband’s Penis and Flushed It Down the Toilet Because He Spent Too Much Time on the Golf Course’

Wife ‘Cut Off Husband’s Penis and Flushed It Down the Toilet Because He Spent Too Much Time on the Golf Course’

(Link): Wife ‘Cut off husband’s penis and flushed it down the loo because he spent too much time on the golf course’

Excerpts:

She is said to have attacked the 50-year-old with a kitchen knife as he slept – but stunned neighbours told cops the couple appeared to have a ‘good relationship’

A wife allegedly cut off her husband’s penis because he spent too much time playing golf.

She is said to have attacked the 50-year-old with a kitchen knife as he slept before flushing his manhood down their loo [toilet].

Stunned neighbours told cops the couple appeared to have a good relationship.

But the wife, 54 – referred to as Mrs Kim – reportedly confessed to officers that her old man had ignored her.

He had also been violent against her in Yeosu, South Korea, she claimed.

Poll: Half of Men Cannot Label Where the Vagina Is On a Picture of the Female Body

Poll: Half of Men Cannot Label Where the Vagina Is On a Picture of the Female Body

(Link): Poll: Half of Men Cannot Label Where the Vagina Is On a Picture of the Female Body 

It should be day one of any sex education class, when schoolchildren learn the basic parts of the female anatomy.

But half of men are embarrassingly unable to correctly label where a woman’s vagina is on a picture of the female body.

Much to their shame, 500 out of 1,000 men failed when asked to identify it on a diagram also showing the vulva, cervix, ovaries and Fallopian tubes.

Continue reading “Poll: Half of Men Cannot Label Where the Vagina Is On a Picture of the Female Body”

Older Dads Are More Common Than Ever Before

Older Dads Are More Common Than Ever Before

So, even though men are also delaying having children, you notice that Christians, and my fellow conservatives, continually guilt trip, pressure and shame WOMEN who do not have kids, and harass them into having a ton of kids before they turn 25 years old.

I have linked to other studies on this blog that say that while men can have kids when older, that once they hit around age 40, their sperm becomes rather “defective” and tends to produce babies that have autism or other sorts of health issues.

(Link):  Older Dads Are More Common Than Ever Before

August 31, 2017

Women aren’t the only ones putting off having children in the United States these days. The average age of fathers has also increased—by three and a half years over the past four decades, according to a new study in Human Reproduction.

The average paternal age at the time of an American child’s birth rose from 27.4 in 1974 to 30.9 in 2015. Over that same period, the percentage of dads over 40 when their children were born more than doubled—from 4.1% to 8.9%—and the percentage over 50 grew from 0.5% to 0.9%, according to data from all live births reported to the U. S. government from 1972 to 2015—a total of nearly 169 million babies.

Continue reading “Older Dads Are More Common Than Ever Before”

12-Year-Old Boy told to ‘Turn the Other Cheek’ as Christian School Refuses to Report Rape Case: Lawsuit

12-year-old boy told to ‘turn the other cheek’ as Christian school refuses to report rape case: lawsuit

A lot of Christians, Christian schools, universities, churches, etc., take this same attitude when anyone gets molested or raped: they blame the victim, and demand the victim instantly forgive the abuser, and they normally will not report cases to the police.

Considering this, I don’t think it’s wise for anyone to take dating or marriage advice from most Christians.

I think this also shows that just because someone is in a Christian environment (church, school, where ever) does not mean that the people you meet there are good, nice, moral people who are worthy of dating.

(Link): Yahoo News Source

(Link):  12-year-old boy told to ‘turn the other cheek’ as Christian school refuses to report rape case: lawsuit

Aug 2017

An exclusive Christian private school in a wealthy suburb of Nashville is accused of covering-up up the repeated sexual assaults of a 12-year-old boy.

The Brentwood Academy is being sued for $60 million for allowing four eighth-grade bullies to repeatedly sexually assault a sixth-grade student, the Tennessean (Link): reports.

The lawsuit was filed by the mother of the victim.

Four male students are alleged to have “conspired to engage in male on male sexual harassment, sexual assault and/or rape upon John Doe in the locker room not supervised by an adult,” according to the lawsuit. “(The boy) would place his penis before John Doe and forcibly penetrated it into the mouth of Plaintiff John Doe without consenting claiming ‘eat it, eat it, eat it, open your mouth, accept it.’”

The same student is alleged to have bragged he “f—ed that boy up the ass and stuck a Gatorade bottle in him.”

Brentwood Academy Headmaster Curtis G. Masters allegedly told the victim to “turn the other cheek” and that, “everything in God’s kingdom happens for a reason.”

The headmaster allegedly said he considered the allegations to be “boys being boys and he could not investigate each of those and run a school.”


Related Posts:

(Link):   Consider The Source: Christians Who Give Singles Dating Advice Also Regularly Coach Wives to Stay in Abusive Marriages

(Link):  ‘She Was A Sex Slave’: Wife of Preacher Reveals Horrific Torture At Hands Of Her Husband by L. Little

(Link): Church Forced Out Woman Who Complained Pastor Regularly Sexually Harassed Her

(Link):  Depressing Testimony: “I Was A Stripper but Jesus Sent Me A Great Christian Husband”

(Link):  Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single  – Pat Robertson Replies to Letter from Four Time Divorced Woman Who Wants to Know If God Will Send Her a Non-Abusive Husband

Formerly Jailed Pedophile Looking for Dates with Women on Dating Site

Formerly Jailed Pedophile Looking for Dates with Women on Dating Site

Disgusting. This is from a UK site. There are several photos of this person on the page linked to below:

(Link): LONELY HEART PAEDO Hulking perv who was caged for sex attacks on schoolgirls is looking for love on Plenty of Fish

August 2017

Kelvyn Jackson tells potential dates he ‘doesn’t want kids’ and describes himself as a ‘teddy bear’

He was caged in 2011 for eight years but has now set up a profile on the popular online dating site after being released from prison.

Jackson calls himself a “teddy bear” and a “coffee snob” and even tells potential dates he is “medically retired” – but fails to mention he is on the Sex Offenders’ Register.

The bald paedo has also uploaded a string of images – including a pouting selfie showing off his beard.

Continue reading “Formerly Jailed Pedophile Looking for Dates with Women on Dating Site”

‘Insecure’ Star Proud to Be a 33-Year-Old Virgin

‘Insecure’ Star Proud to Be a 33-Year-Old Virgin

(Link): ‘Insecure’ Star Proud to Be a 33-year-old Virgin

Excerpts:

Despite her character Molly having tons of sex on HBO’s “Insecure,” 33-year-old Yvonne Orji is saving herself for marriage.

“I wasn’t going to hide it just because I’m on TV,” the Nigerian-born star told People. “I’m grounded in who I am.”

Continue reading “‘Insecure’ Star Proud to Be a 33-Year-Old Virgin”

New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart

New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart

And most conservative Christians, gender complementarians in particular, will continue to ignore information such as this, because they basically feel that women don’t like sex, don’t want sex, and only a man’s sexual needs or preferences are important.

(Link): New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously

Excerpts:

….In a study published this summer in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapytitled “Women’s Sexual Experience With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm: Results From a U.S. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to 94,” researchers from Indiana University asked that age-old but oft-neglected question: What feels good to you?

Continue reading “New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart”

A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez

A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez

(Link): A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher

Successful abstinence education begins with establishing and reiterating every child’s invaluable self-worth.

Excerpts:

…Many Young People Are Learning the Hard Way

My conversation with Kimberly comes at a time where abstinence-until-marriage curricula are being dragged through the media as an archaic form of moralistic sexual repression reserved exclusively for only the most backwards cities and states.

The Trump administration was chastised for its hire of pro-abstinence education leader Valerie Huber, and more recently for ending federal funding for a number of “teen pregnancy prevention” programs under the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.

It should be noted that “teen pregnancy prevention” is a remarkably pliable term and can include harmful curricula that don’t focus on self-worth or developing healthy boundaries.

If teens aren’t learning that mistakes have consequences, how are they to truly comprehend deciding to have sex this weekend at a party can affect their health, future fertility, and future families?

…Lost amid this battle is the one message teenagers need above all: that they are worthy of a love that is unconditional and comes without the cost of their body.

Continue reading “A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez”

15% of Married Adults have Romantic Feelings for Someone Else

15% of Married Adults have Romantic Feelings for Someone Else

(Link): 15% of married adults have romantic feelings for someone else

Unrequited love – a classic trope for many a melodrama or Victorian romance. But this theme is not strictly for the pages of heart-wrenching novels and tear-jerker films. In fact, recent YouGov data shows that 23% of Americans, including 15% of married adults, have romantic feelings for someone they are not currently romantically involved with.

Similarly, developing feelings for a friend’s significant other can be a difficult, often awkward, situation – 29% of of Americans have been in this predicament, and one in ten men currently are. Similarly, 30% of US adults have found themselves with feelings for a friend that extend past the platonic.

Continue reading “15% of Married Adults have Romantic Feelings for Someone Else”

Hax Column: 30-Something Guy Refuses to Marry Anyone Who’s Already Been Married

You have to like these guys who sound like awful people but who are very demanding and picky about who they want to date and marry.

Like the guy described in this letter.

DEAR CAROLYN (Hax):

My brother has been dating a woman for about a year, and my entire immediate family does not like her. Even my super easygoing husband thinks she is terrible. I am serious. She is manipulative, passive-aggressive, immature, and has a self-righteous streak that goes for miles.

My mom is just crushed that this girl will likely marry my brother. I think if he thinks she is so great then let him make this HUGE mistake.

He is 34 and complains that there are so few women out there who have never married and have no kids (requirements for him), so I think he is feeling a bit desperate.

Continue reading “Hax Column: 30-Something Guy Refuses to Marry Anyone Who’s Already Been Married”

America, Home of the Transactional Marriage

America, Home of the Transactional Marriage by Victor Tan Chen

(Link):  America, Home of the Transactional Marriage

by Victor Tan Chen

The country’s exceptionally thin safety net prompts residents—especially those with less-steady employment—to view partnership in more economic terms.

Over the last several decades, the proportion of Americans who get married has greatly diminished—a development known as well to those who lament marriage’s decline as those who take issue with it as an institution.

But a development that’s much newer is that the demographic now leading the shift away from tradition is Americans without college degrees—who just a few decades ago were much more likely to be married by the age of 30 than college graduates were.

Today, though, just over half of women in their early 40s with a high-school degree or less education are married, compared to three-quarters of women with a bachelor’s degree; in the 1970s, there was barely a difference.

Continue reading “America, Home of the Transactional Marriage”

Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch

Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch

(Link): Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch

Excerpts:

…. Despite lingering doubts, she ended up in a marriage by her mid-20s — with a husband whose enthusiasm was not, in fact, all it had seemed to be. It waned over time.

He did not defend her in front of his family members, they fought constantly, he did not consider her feelings. By her late 20s, she was divorced, with a whole slew of different (and correct) thoughts about “how things should be” the next time around.

Addison isn’t alone in her previous beliefs about dating and relationships. Somewhere along the way, women were told, “You deserve to be pursued!” and, yeah, we just went with it.

Through my research (and even among friends), I’ve met plenty of women who’ve literally gone their entire lives letting men sort themselves by early, most-evident interest.

Their “single girl” dating ritual is simple: Strongest pursuer wins. (Side note: This is a heteronormative exploration of dating rituals and for that reason a heteronormative article on said rituals.)

With a (Link): culture of ghosting, bread-crumbing, zombie-ing, and just flat-out constant shuffling, I get that things seem inherently fragile out there, and lots of people want to insulate against rejection.

Continue reading “Why You Shouldn’t Date the Guy Who Acts the Most Interested by J. Birch”

The False Teachings Regarding Celibacy from City Church of San Francisco

The False Teachings Regarding Celibacy from City Church of San Francisco

Here we go again. I’ve seen this issue come up before with other Christians, other churches, who hold all sorts of falsehoods about celibacy.  I will be offering comments and criticisms of the views presented in this letter from a San Francisco Church – a link, with excerpts from the page, is below.

The Bible teaches that abstaining from sexual behavior is for all single persons, regardless if they are hetero, bi-sexual, or homosexual, or of some other orientation.

Furthermore, the Bible does (Link): not teach that God “gifts” people with celibacy or that only some, only a few, will be celibate, or that (Link): life long celibacy is an heroic feat possible for only a minority.

Review a bit of my life story: I am over the age of 45, a hetero-sexual woman who long desired marriage, marriage did not happen for me (and it may never), yet I am a virgin, but God did not remove my sexual desire. I still have a desire for marriage, and also a libido.

If I can remain celibate this long, and I have in fact done so, there is no reason for this San Francisco church to imply it is cruel, impossible, or unrealistic for LGBT persons to remain celibate over a life time.

While being celibate over a lifetime is not always easy, it is in fact possible.

Remaining celibate for a long time comes down to self-control and choice, not some magical rare gifting where-in God only zaps a few people with celibacy and removes a sexual drive. The Bible says all believers in Christ (Link): have self-control but churches such as this one operates under the assumption that this is not so.

(Link): A Letter from the Elder Board of San Francisco

Excerpts:

A Letter From The Elder Board

…..WHY ARE WE TALKING ABOUT THIS NOW?

1. God is bringing LGBT Christians through the doors of City Church.
As you read this perhaps you, your friend, or family member are one of them. They desire to follow Jesus, and are eager to live faithfully to the gospel and desire spiritual growth. Some have been living celibate lives and want to know if we can talk out loud about this.
Others report they have become Christians at City Church. Some report that while they were raised in the church, they left it, but have returned and experienced great renewal.
And many hope for a life long partnership one day that will fulfill their basic human need of belonging, companionship, and intimacy.
Others are already married or partnered and know this is a safe place for them to grow in their relationship.

2. Our pastoral practice of demanding life-long “celibacy”, by which we meant that for the rest of your life you would not engage your sexual orientation in any way, was causing obvious harm and has not led to human flourishing.
(It’s unfortunate that we used the word “celibacy” to describe a demand placed on others, as in Scripture it is, according to both Jesus and Paul, a special gift or calling by God, not an option for everyone). In fact, over the years, the stories of harm caused by this pastoral practice began to accumulate.
Our pastoral conversations and social science research indicate skyrocketing rates of depression, suicide, and addiction among those who identify as LGBT. The generally unintended consequence has been to leave many people feeling deeply damaged, distorted, unlovable, unacceptable, and perverted. Imagine feeling this from your family or religious community:
“If you stay, you must accept celibacy with no hope that you too might one day enjoy the fullness of intellectual, spiritual, emotional, psychological and physical companionship. If you pursue a lifelong partnership, you are rejected.” This is simply not working and people are being hurt. We must listen and respond.

3. We feel a growing sense that this counsel is not necessarily the way of the gospel.
While members of the LGBT community have always been welcome at City Church, we prevented people from joining our church if they were unwilling or unable to practice lifelong celibacy. ….

..SUMMARY: WHAT HAS ACTUALLY CHANGED HERE?

…On the other hand, we want to be clear what this now means. We will no longer discriminate based on sexual orientation and demand lifelong celibacy as a precondition for joining. For all members, regardless of sexual orientation, we will continue to expect chastity in singleness until marriage.

/// end excerpts from City Church web page

If your church position is that any and all sexual behavior is fine and peachy, so long as the person is married, AND you’re arguing you are now hunky dory with homosexuality, that would mean, I take it, that you are saying  you are fine with LGBT marriage, and are saying LGBT persons may have same-sex relations so long as they are married to their same-sex partner?

And what if marriage never happens?

I’ll tell you what happens and what should happen:

The person has to remain celibate, if they claim to be a Christian who wants to respect God, God’s morals, and what the Bible has to say about it.

Look, guys at San Fran church, I would dearly love to marry, but no “Mr. Right” is materializing on my front door step.

I may never marry.

If I were still completely a Christian (I am quasi agnostic currently), I’d have to sexually abstain. And I am HETERO. You should expect no less from LGBT persons.

In my time blogging or Tweeting about being a hetero celibate, I have heard from other other HETERO celibates, some in their 40s, 50s, and older, all of them to date have been Christians, I believe.

These heterosexuals are still abstaining – many of them wanted to marry, but they never met the right person, so they remain single.

Please stop acting as though life long, or decades-long, celibacy is so very difficult that it’s this impossible standard nobody can achieve, so you drop it as a biblical sexual ethic.

Just because something is difficult does not mean it stops being right or possible.

Just because it seems that everyone else is doing something (i.e., sex outside of marriage) does not mean you should just say, “Aw, screw it, nobody is living this celibacy stuff out any more, let’s just drop this expectation!”

Where does the Bible say to base morality on popularity or on how many people are doing or not doing something?

If everyone began robbing banks tomorrow, would your church start saying,

“We no longer demand our members to be honest, and work for a living to pay their bills, but it’s okay if they rob banks.”

If you wouldn’t slack off on other biblical mores such as stealing and robbing, why would you do so in the area of sexuality? Why is sexuality an exception here?

Due to liberal political correctness, is that it? That’s not a solid reason, either.

I have to laugh at all the liberal Christian and ex-Christian accounts, blogs, and groups I follow on Twitter, Facebook, and elsewhere, who keep arguing that Christians have turned virginity (or celibacy) into idols – oh no they don’t. This post serves as another example of that.

Christians are ditching and dumping celibacy and virginity teachings faster than you can blink and eye.

There is no so-called Christian “idolizing of virginity” going on, as liberal and ex Christians proclaim – spare me.

Christians should be among the forefront of society defending sexual abstinence, but here they are, acquiescing to culture. Or they (Link): don’t want people to be angry with them, nor do they be perceived as “mean”

They are fine with fudging on biblical ethics in the process.

I have to say, every time I see these types of web pages – such as the one published by this San Francisco church – all I can think is that they are robbing some Christian celibates of a motivation to continue sexually abstaining, since they continue to chip away at a basis or rationale for anyone to remain a virgin or celibate.

Churches like this one are sapping hetero celibates of the the strength to keep going and holding on. Churches such as “City Church” are supporting LGBT persons at the expense of hetero celibate adults – enough of that! They should knock that off.


By the way (and I’ve already tweeted them a link to this blog post)…

the (Link): San Fran City Church Twitter account

@CityChurchSF


Related Posts:

(Link):   Typical Erroneous Teaching About Adult Celibacy Rears Its Head Again: To Paraphrase Speaker at Ethics and Public Policy Center: Lifelong Celibacy is “heroic ethical standard that is not expected of heteros, so it should not be expected of homosexuals” (ie, it’s supposedly an impossible feat for any human being to achieve)

(Link):   False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): “God’s gifting of singleness is rare” – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage -and- God gifts only the rare the exceptions the few with the gift of Marriage

(Link):  Self Control – everyone has it, is capable of it, but most choose not to use it

(Link): The Gift of Singleness – A Mistranslation and a Poorly Used Cliche’

(Link): Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link): Singleness Is Not a Gift

(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One

(Link):  The Myth of the Gift – Re Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy

(Link): Pastors avoid ‘controversy’ to keep tithes up, author says – Confirms What I’ve Been Saying All Along, Re: Churches: Contrary to Progressive Christians, Churches / Christians Do Not Support or Idolize Sexual Purity, Virginity, or Celibacy – they attack these concepts when not ignoring them

(Link): Theology of Convenience, Expediency, and Borne of Culture – Christian Preachers and Writers Diminishing Seriousness of Sexual Sin

(Link):  Some Researchers Argue that Shame Should Be Used to Treat Sexual Compulsions

(Link):  Christian Preacher Admits He Won’t Preach About Sexuality For Fear It May Offend Sexual Sinners

(Link): No, Christians Do NOT Support or Idolize Virginity and Celibacy, they attack both)

(Link): No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

(Link):  Some Researchers Argue that Shame Should Be Used to Treat Sexual Compulsions

(Link): Christians Selling Out Hetero Celibacy By Defending Homosexual Behavior – Re: Jars of Clay Controversy

(Link): Editorialist at WaPo Argues That Single Christian Adults Can Have Sex So Long As They are Chaste About It – Also Speculates that Jesus Was “Probably” Celibate

(Link): Sometimes Shame Guilt and Hurt Feelings Over Sexual Sins Is a Good Thing – but – Emergents, Liberals Who Are Into Virgin and Celibate Shaming

(Link): Sometimes the Bible is Clear – Regarding Rachel Held Evan’s Post

(Link): Sex, Love & Celibacy by Christian Author Dan Navin

(Link): Nobody Bats An Eye at Condemnation of Hetero Sexual Sin – Observations from Duck Dynasty Controversy

(Link): Southern Baptists open to reaching out to LGBT – but still don’t give a flying leap about HETERO CELIBATE UNMARRIED ADULTS

(Link): Church Touts Homosexuality as a Gift, Not a Sin

(Link): The New Homophiles: A Closer Look (article) Re: Christian Homosexual Celibates and Christian Homosexual Virgins

(Link): Christian Double Standards on Celibacy – Hetero Singles Must Abstain from Sex but Not Homosexual Singles

(Link): The Activist Who Says Being Gay Is Not A Sin – double standards for homo singles vs hetero singles

(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner

(Link): Why So Much Fornication – Because Christians Have No Expectation of Sexual Purity

(Link): Why Do Christians Ask if Homosexuals Can Change Their Orientation – Why Not Explain that Celibacy is an Option?

(Link): Being Against Gay Marriage Doesn’t Make You a Homophobe (editorial by a homosexual man)

(Link): Ever Notice That Christians Don’t Care About or Value Singleness, Unless Jesus Christ’s Singleness and Celibacy is Doubted or Called Into Question by Scholars?

No, John Piper, God Doesn’t Kill Babies Because Their Dad Looked At Porn by B L Corley

No, John Piper, God Doesn’t Kill Babies Because Their Dad Looked At Porn by B L Corley

Piper is a crackpot Calvinist preacher who is, for some reason, don’t ask me why because I don’t see it, revered by a lot of Christians.

But he holds to some weird or repugnant views, such as refuted on this page by a guy named Corley.

(Link): No, John Piper, God Doesn’t Kill Babies Because Their Dad Looked At Porn by B L Corley

Nov 2016

…On a recent episode of (Link): Ask Pastor John, a distraught father wrote in and asked about his wife’s recent miscarriage and his struggle with looking at pornography.

Here’s what the man asked:

“Pastor John, did God cause, or would God cause, my wife to miscarry our child because I have a struggle with lust and pornography? I have a lot of guilt right now, and I don’t know how to think about God’s discipline and punishment for my sin. I’m very confused, please help.”

Piper’s answer was lengthy, and ultimately was, “I don’t know if God killed your baby because you looked at porn.” But the mere fact that Piper doesn’t know if his god would do something like this should be enough to reject his entire belief system.

Continue reading “No, John Piper, God Doesn’t Kill Babies Because Their Dad Looked At Porn by B L Corley”

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts

The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog

Warning: I discovered through further reading that the author of the blog is a complementarian. I disagree with complementarianism; more on that below.

Had I known from the start she is a complementarian, I may not have started composing this post. I am leery of pointing anyone to a complementarian resource, but here we are.


As of today, I see only a small number of posts on the The Rhetoric of Singleness blog, dating from April 2017, and this blog appears to be from a Christian perspective – but then, her blog does not display a list or pull down menu of all her posts.

Even though the blog looks to be on hiatus, I’ll link to it on the off chance the blogger resumes writing again.

The person behind this blog says she’s single, in her 30s, and has yet to marry but would like to.

(Link): The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – main page

Some of the only posts I am seeing on this blog include:

(Link): Pursuing Marriage

In that “Pursuing Marriage” post, she says she is a believer in gender complementarianism.

For example, here’s part of what she writes:

So, what options does that leave me, a woman with a complementary view of gender roles, of pursuing marriage? I know for some women who see no options left to them there is a strong temptation to bitterness, resentment, and to denigrate our single brothers who are called by God to the leadership role in the pursuit of marriage.

// end excerpt

Oh no. I (Link): used to be a complementarian myself but ditched it by my mid 30s.

I heard all the same stuff from conservative Christians growing up, as this other blogger likely did, such as, how (Link): men are supposed to be the heads in marriages, God supposedly created women pretty much to exist (Link): only to wait on menand so on.

(And I remained a conservative, even after I realized that complementarianism is false and actually quite sexist – it doesn’t just teach that men and women “complement” one another but that there should be a male hierarchy, of men ruling over women.

Contrary to what complementarians would have you believe, abandoning gender complementarianism will not turn you into a left wing, abortion-supporting, man-hating feminist. I am still right wing, even after leaving complementarianism.)

I am no longer a complementarian, but can pin point complementarianism, among a few other things, as being (Link): one reason as to why I am in my 40s and never got married.

Continue reading “The Rhetoric of Singleness Blog – Links, Comments, Thoughts”

Advice Letter – 41 Year Old Never Married Woman To Marry Twice Divorced Guy, Her Mom Worried

Advice Letter – 41 Year Old Never Married Woman To Marry Twice Divorced Guy, Her Mom Worried

Oh. All sorts of bad things going on here. I’m not a supporter of May-December relationships.

Then you have the fact that this dear lady so sick and tired of being single, she’s willing to marry the first man who has a pulse who shows interest, even though he sounds not only too old for her, but possibly like a user. Red flags all over this.

I also have to say this is a switch – before on this blog, I have copied in letters from parents who are freaked out or disappointed that their adult child is age 30, 40, or older and hasn’t married yet, so the parent is begging the kid to marry anyone, just marry.

(Link): Hax Advice Column

DEAR CAROLYN: My smart, successful and never-been-married 41-year-old daughter has recently become engaged to a twice-divorced man whom she has nothing in common with except a desire to not be alone anymore.

I am worried she is his “retirement plan,” as he can’t wait to retire early from his job and live the expat lifestyle with her overseas. They have only known each other for a year, and six months of that have been long-distance.

My daughter complains he won’t stop seeing his “ex-girlfriend/best friend” who lives in the same apartment complex as him — on a different continent — and it is making her insecure.

How do I support my daughter? They have a 13-year age gap, and I just want her to slow down and think carefully about what she is getting herself into. Wanting to “check the marriage box” off your to-do list is not a reason to rush into this.

(Signed), Just Want Her to Slow Down

Dear Just:

You say: “I love you and worry about your safety.”

She will hear: “My mother thinks I can’t take care of myself.”

You say: “You barely know this man and are rushing into marriage for the sake of it.”

She will hear: “My mother thinks ‘single and 41’ = desperate and pathetic.”

You say: “He can’t wait to use you to retire early.”

She will hear: “My own mother thinks a man can’t like me for anything but my money.”

You say: “He’s obviously still seeing his ex, right under your nose.”

She will hear: “My mother thinks I’m an idiot.”

You have a message problem, one that stems from the even bigger problem of trying to be a parent to someone who is 20 years into being an adult.

(read more here)


Related Posts:

(Link):   Avoid Dating Divorced Guys Who Are Dating on the Rebound – and Icky May December Relationships

(Link):  Pat Robertson Says 44 Year old Never Married Woman Who Wants Marriage is “Desperate”

(Link):  Mom Is Ashamed of 30-Something Daughters Who’ve Never Been Married or Dated

(Link):  Dad Buys Full-Page $900 Newspaper Ad Seeking a Wife for His 48 Year Old, Never Married Son

(Link):  Idiot Assumes His 44 Year Old Sister Is A Lesbian Because She’s Never Been Married

(Link):  Never-Married Men Over 40: Date-able or Debate-able?

(Link):  How Sorry Do We Feel for the Lonesome Single Bachelors of New York? by T. Moore (never married men in their 40s talk about being tired of being single)

(Link):  Singles Shaming Mother: Her Sons are in their 30s, Great Guys, But She’s Freaking Because They’re Not Married (letter to Hax columnist)

(Link):  Creepy, wrong, immature and pathetic: older men chasing after much younger women

(Link):  Decent Secular Relationship Advice: How to Pick Your Life Partner

(Link):   Mom Is Ashamed of 30-Something Daughters Who’ve Never Been Married or Dated

(Link): My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)

(Link): Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless

(Link): I’m 45, Single And Childless. No, There’s Nothing ‘Wrong’ With Me. by M Notkin

(Link):  Grieving widow doesn’t need to start dating in order to heal (letter from advice column) 

(Link): Guy So Depressed Over Being Single He Cut Off His Own Penis (article)

(Link): Otherhood – An overlooked demographic – the Childless and Childfree Women and Singles Especially Women Who Had Hoped to Marry and Have Kids But Never Met Mr. Right (links)

(Link):  Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link): Typical Incorrect Conservative Christian Assumption: If you want marriage bad enough, Mr. Right will magically appear

 

Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study

Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study

From the UK:

(Link): Almost 60% of women want more sex than their partner does

Excerpts:

If you believe what you see in American films, all men are desperate for sex, and most women don’t want to give it to them.

This is, of course, complete bollocks. As we know, women have sexual identities, desires and fantasies of their own, just like men do. In fact, as new research from Voucher Codes Pro demonstrates, many women actually have even more of a sex drive than men.

Continue reading “Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study”