Nine Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers by B. Wong

Nine Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers by B. Wong

(Link): Nine Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers by B. Wong

Excerpts:

Avoid a bad end by asking the right questions at the start.

Few people have a keener eye for relationship red flags thandivorce attorneys. They’ve seen firsthand how quickly personality quirks can turn into major annoyances and the problems that can lead to calling it quits.

That also makes them surprisingly good at giving dating advice.

Below, family law attorneys from across the country share nine pointed questions to ask on a first date if you want to avoid getting into a relationship with someone you’ll eventually divorce.

Continue reading “Nine Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers by B. Wong”

The CEO Behind Tinder, OkCupid on the Future of Online Dating by C. Cutter

The CEO Behind Tinder, OkCupid on the Future of Online Dating – by C. Cutter, from WSJ

(Link): The CEO Behind Tinder, OkCupid on the Future of Online Dating

Excerpts:

Match Group chief Mandy Ginsberg talks about her first year on the job, the Facebook threat and tackling loneliness through technology

A decade ago, when Mandy Ginsberg asked couples how they met, some would give a fictitious answer: “Oh, we met through friends.”

When she then revealed she worked at an online dating company, their answers shifted: “Oh, we actually met through Match,” they told her.

In her nearly 13 years at Match Group Inc., MTCH 7.98% where she became chief executive in January, Ms. Ginsberg has watched the stigma of online dating fade almost entirely.

Today, many people even proudly pursue a multiapp dating strategy.

Continue reading “The CEO Behind Tinder, OkCupid on the Future of Online Dating by C. Cutter”

Love Couldn’t Save Me From Loneliness By M. Puniewska

Love Couldn’t Save Me From Loneliness By M. Puniewska

Yes, it is possible to be in a relationship – dating or married to a man – yet feel all alone. Some men cannot or will not fulfill a woman’s emotional needs, or, some men prefer watching football to spending time with their wives, which leaves their wives feeling all alone.

This certainly happened to me. I was in a serious relationship with a man, we were engaged for the last few years of the relationship, and he was selfish, self-absorbed, didn’t care to meet my emotional (or other) needs, so I recall sitting in the same room with him yet still feeling as though I was all alone.

I also agree with the view of this author that there is a “loneliness shaming” that goes on in American society; if you admit to being or feeling lonely, you will be shamed for it, as though it’s unacceptable to admit to being lonely.

(Link): Love Couldn’t Save Me From Loneliness By M. Puniewska

[The author explains to a friend of hers over lunch that she has been feeling lonely]

…After listening carefully and making lots of affirming nods, she acknowledged how loneliness could be hard. However, she ultimately settled on something else. “But you have your boyfriend,” she said, matter-of-factly but not maliciously. “That’s something, right?”

Yes, it was something, and it was something that was going really well. But I didn’t feel like this was about him.

This was about those other empty holes in my life, left by friends I had lost touch with or family who didn’t call. I didn’t think he could fill them — and I wouldn’t expect him to.

Continue reading “Love Couldn’t Save Me From Loneliness By M. Puniewska”

Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

(Links): Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

Dec 2018

A bride on Reddit detailed how she asked a couple at her wedding to leave after they brought their infant and toddler

She had explicitly stated on the wedding invitation that the event was kid-free

Other kids at the ceremony, like the flower girl, were picked up before the reception

Continue reading “Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her”

I Had A Baby At 40, And It Was Awesome by J. Delfino

I Had A Baby At 40, And It Was Awesome by J. Delfino

I think I understand what medical professionals mean by the term “geriatric mother,” but they need to drop it – women who are 40-something are not old geezers.

(Link): I Had A Baby At 40, And It Was Awesome by J. Delfino

Excerpts:

Dec 2018

Let me start by saying I didn’t mean to have a baby at 40. I meant to have a baby, but I had hoped to have one much earlier.

When I was 24, I told my boyfriend that he had better get me pregnant soon because my eggs were going to shrivel up and die. For some reason, we didn’t last.

Continue reading “I Had A Baby At 40, And It Was Awesome by J. Delfino”

The Twinkly Christmas Rom Com Feeds Off the Disappointment of Women

The Twinkly Christmas Rom Com Feeds Off the Disappointment of Women

(Link): The Twinkly Christmas Rom Com Feeds Off the Disappointment of Women

Excerpts:

….These films are also objectively bad. They hinge on undefined traditional values, and imply that there’s a literal magic that spurs improbable behavior around Christian holidays.

The characters—particularly the women—are completely one-dimensional. The plots are improbable at best and completely far-fetched at worst. And yet, they’ve never been more popular.

While there’s surely some aspect of escapism in these films, there’s also something darker at play: These movies don’t just depict a world that’s brighter and cheerier than our own; they depict one drastically different, where being a woman who Has It All is as simple as embracing the holiday spirit.

At the end of another year where the news cycle highlighted the inequalities, hurdles, and abuse that women around the world still face, one reason these movies are still so appealing is that they can be watched with both envy and outrage.

We can laugh at them because they’re so far from the truth of modern women’s experience.

Continue reading “The Twinkly Christmas Rom Com Feeds Off the Disappointment of Women”

The Five Years That Changed Dating by A. Fetters

The Five Years That Changed Dating by A. Fetters

(Link): The Five Years That Changed Dating by A. Fetters

Excerpts:

Dec 2018

When Tinder became available to all smartphone users in 2013, it ushered in a new era in the history of romance.

….But in 2018, seven of the 53 couples profiled in the Vows column met on dating apps.

And in the Times’ more populous Wedding Announcements section, 93 out of some 1,000 couples profiled this year met on dating apps—Tinder, Bumble, Hinge, Coffee Meets Bagel, Happn, and other specialized dating apps designed for smaller communities, like JSwipe for Jewish singles and MuzMatch for Muslims.

The year before, 71 couples whose weddings were announced by the Times met on dating apps.

Matt Lundquist, a couples therapist based in Manhattan, says he’s started taking on a less excited or expectant tone when he asks young couples and recently formed couples how they met. “Because a few of them will say to me, ‘Uhhh, we met on Tinder’—like, ‘Where else do you think we would have met?’” Plus, he adds, it’s never a good start to therapy when a patient thinks the therapist is behind the times or uncool.

Continue reading “The Five Years That Changed Dating by A. Fetters”

Police Officer Convicted of Sex Assault for Stealthing (Removing Condom During Sex Without Partner’s Permission) In Landmark Trial

Police Officer Convicted of Sex Assault for Stealthing (Removing Condom During Sex Without Partner’s Permission) In Landmark Trial By C. Gollayan

Why is pays to be celibate….

(Link): Police Officer Convicted of Sex Assault for Stealthing (Removing Condom During Sex Without Partner’s Permission) In Landmark Trial

Dec 2018

A German police officer was found guilty of sexual assault after he removed his condom during intercourse without telling his partner, a disturbing trend called “stealthing.”

This marks the first case of “stealthing” that’s been prosecuted in Germany. The 36-year-old defendant was sentenced on Dec. 11. He received an eight-month jail sentence, was fined $3,400 in damages and is required to pay a $109 fine to pay for the victim’s STI test.

Court spokesperson Lisa Jani told CNN the perp carried out the offense at his apartment in Berlin.

The victim “explicitly requested” that the police officer wear a condom, and she did not give consent to having unprotected sexual intercourse. She realized he was not wearing a condom when he ejaculated.

Continue reading “Police Officer Convicted of Sex Assault for Stealthing (Removing Condom During Sex Without Partner’s Permission) In Landmark Trial”

Polish Man Charged Men £4 to Rape Wife He Fed Semen Sandwiches

Polish Man Charged Men £4 to Rape Wife He Fed Semen Sandwiches

This news story is beyond repulsive.

  1. Stories like this one make me feel glad I never married.
  2. Marriage does not make people more godly, mature, compassionate, or responsible, contrary to secular and Christian conservative opinion.

Some Christian gender complementarians would say that this woman should’ve stayed married to this abusive pervert no matter what. And complementarians have the audacity to say that their biblical interpretation is respectful of women? No, it’s not.

(Link): Polish Man Charged Men £4 to Rape Wife He Fed Semen Sandwiches

Dec 2018

by Luke Kenton

The woman, who has not been named, was subjected to four years of vile sexual abuse at the hands of her husband – including two locked in a darkened cellar

A man dubbed the ‘Polish Josef Fritzl’ has been sentenced to 25 years behind bars for imprisoning his wife in a dark cellar and subjecting her to years of sexual abuse.

In the small village of Parszczyce, in northern Poland, husband Mariusz Sz. severely abused his wife across a four-year period between 2006 and 2010, locking her in a pitch-black cellar for two of the years.

Continue reading “Polish Man Charged Men £4 to Rape Wife He Fed Semen Sandwiches”

What Loneliness Does to the Human Body by Ashley Fetters

What Loneliness Does to the Human Body by Ashley Fetters

(Link): What Loneliness Does to the Human Body By Ashley Fetters

Excerpts:

January 2018

…When researchers study loneliness, they tend to define it as “the perceived discrepancy between one’s desired level of social connection and their actual level of social connection,” says Brigham Young University psychology and neuroscience professor Julianne Holt-Lunstad.

Some people who are socially isolated don’t necessarily feel lonely, and some people who are lonely are surrounded by people who make them feel more alienated, not less.

But 9 million lonely people probably aren’t just a damper on the national morale; they’re likely to be a strain on national productivity and health-care systems, too.

The bodies of lonely people are markedly different from the bodies of non-lonely people.

Continue reading “What Loneliness Does to the Human Body by Ashley Fetters”

Serial Rapist Used Job As Photographer to Drug and Attack Male Models

Serial Rapist Used Job As Photographer to Drug and Attack Male Models

(Link): Nigel Wilkinson: Drug rape photographer guilty of more attacks

(Link): Convicted rapist Nigel Wilkinson revealed he had ‘many more victims’ to prison inmate, court hears

(Link): Rapist photographer who preyed on male models ‘liked robbing their masculinity’

(Link): Serial Rapist Used Job As Photographer to Drug and Attack Male Models

Excerpts:

December 18, 2018

A serial rapist used his job as a fitness photographer to ‘lure men to his house where he drugged and raped them’. Nigel Wilkinson, 45, was found guilty of nine offences against six men at court today.

He was jailed for 11 and a half years in 2016 after admitting two counts of rape and three counts of administering a substance with intent to rape.

Continue reading “Serial Rapist Used Job As Photographer to Drug and Attack Male Models”

Rome’s Vestal Virgins: Rome’s Most Powerful Priestesses by E. Biggi

Rome’s Vestal Virgins: Rome’s Most Powerful Priestesses by E. Biggi

(Link): Rome’s Vestal Virgins: Rome’s Most Powerful Priestesses

Excerpts:

The privileged position of the Vestal Virgins in Roman society survived for more than a thousand years—but the cult did not survive Christianity

Chosen as young girls, the priestesses of Vesta, goddess of the hearth, swore a 30-year vow of chastity and in turn were granted rights, privileges, and power unavailable to other women in Rome.

…One of the most remarkable elements of this story is the fact that Licinia owned a villa in the first place. Unlike other women, Licinia could own property precisely because she was a Vestal Virgin.

Continue reading “Rome’s Vestal Virgins: Rome’s Most Powerful Priestesses by E. Biggi”

A Romantic Partner Is Not Meant to Be Won and Will Power Is Not Love by B. Cooper

A Romantic Partner Is Not Meant to Be Won and Will Power Is Not Love by B. Cooper

(Link): A Romantic Partner Is Not Meant to Be Won and Will Power Is Not Love by B. Cooper

Excerpts:

[Cardi B. is a woman rap singer whose estranged husband, named “Offset,” approached her while she was performing on stage to force a reconciliation with her]

… Stalking behaviors and emotional boundary–breaching have been normalized as romance and desire through popular-culture written and produced by a system controlled by men.

Patriarchy works by making women think that the man who will override her will is the one who loves her most.

Continue reading “A Romantic Partner Is Not Meant to Be Won and Will Power Is Not Love by B. Cooper”

British Couple Who Named Their Infant After Hitler Was Arrested For Terror Group Membership

British Couple Who Named Their Infant After Hitler Was Arrested For Terror Group Membership

To all the secular and Christian conservatives out there promoting this false idea (and yes, some of them do in fact do this), that being married and being a parent is necessary to make people more godly, mature, and responsible, I present to you yet another example demonstrating that being a parent does not do didley squat didley to improve a person’s character.

(Link): British Couple Who Named Their Infant After Hitler Was Arrested For Terror Group Membership

by Josh Halliday, Dec 2018

A neo-Nazi couple who named their baby son after Adolf Hitler and made their home a “shrine to extreme racism” have been jailed for membership of a terrorist group.

Adam Thomas was pictured cradling his son while wearing the hooded robes of the Ku Klux Klan. His partner, Claudia Patatas, believed “all Jews must be put to death”, a trial at Birmingham crown court heard.

Continue reading “British Couple Who Named Their Infant After Hitler Was Arrested For Terror Group Membership”

Man, 84, Died After Nursing Home Staff Failed to Bathe Him and His Genitals Rotted Off

Man, 84, Died After Nursing Home Staff Failed to Bathe Him and His Genitals Rotted Off

(Link): Man, 84, Died After Nursing Home Staff Failed to Bathe Him and His Genitals Rotted Off

Excerpts:

York Spratling contracted gangrene after staff at Consulate Health Care in Jacksonville, Florida, failed to help him with his personal hygiene, even though they could smell the stench of his rotting flesh as soon as they entered his room.

The Florida state review ruled that workers there failed to seek treatment for Spratling or report his condition, but no action was taken against the facility, according to News-Press.

Continue reading “Man, 84, Died After Nursing Home Staff Failed to Bathe Him and His Genitals Rotted Off”

Male Teen Virgin Pays Prostitute For Sex, Now Says He’s in Love With Her (*Barf*)

Male Teen Virgin Pays Prostitute For Sex, Now Says He’s in Love With Her (*Barf*)

First, this news story is totally gross.
(I’m convinced this thing about teen boys losing their virginity to a hooker is less about their libido and probably has more to do with most cultures shaming anyone who is a virgin into their mid to late teens and adulthood.)

Secondly, he’s a naive idiot.

Notice the headline:

“Virgin, 16, ‘who won unlimited sex holiday falls in love with prostitute he slept with’”

He didn’t “sleep” with her. He paid her for sex. It was a business transaction.

Continue reading “Male Teen Virgin Pays Prostitute For Sex, Now Says He’s in Love With Her (*Barf*)”

The Misguided Backlash Against ‘Purity Culture’ by G. Shane Morris

The Misguided Backlash Against ‘Purity Culture’ by G. Shane Morris

I agree with most of this editorial by Morris, but I have one slight area of disagreement, which I will discuss below the link and excerpts.

All in all, this is an excellent editorial, so you will want to click the link below to go to Patheos, where it’s hosted, to read it in its entirety, but please remember to come back to this blog post to read some of my comments much farther below.

(Link): The Misguided Backlash Against ‘Purity Culture’

by G. Shane Morris
December 2018

[Author Morris discusses an anti-Purity Culture, anti- I Kissed Dating Goodbye editorial by Abigail Rine Favale, and refutes some of her arguments.]

…But one thing I’ve noticed is how many of those complaints come from people who admit they never took Harris’ advice in the first place. Favale is one of them.

She confesses: “I opted for more conventional forms of kissing and bade farewell to my virginity instead.” Nevertheless, she claims, “the ideas in Harris’ book influenced me—if not my habits, certainly my sense of self.”

It’s not clear what she means by this, except perhaps that she felt guilty about having premarital sex. No one needs Joshua Harris to experience the prick of conscience, though. Which is why one detects in recriminations against “purity culture” by those who openly engaged in impurity more than a hint of sour grapes.

Continue reading “The Misguided Backlash Against ‘Purity Culture’ by G. Shane Morris”

Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse

Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse

On the December 10, 2018 episode of Christian program “The 700 Club,” (which you can view (Link): on You Tube here, the letter comes at 45.27 mark in the video) some single lady wrote to Pat Robertson (adult singles, (Link): stop writing Pat Robertson with your relationship questions, you will seldom get an empathetic reply!), and she said,

[Dear Pat],
I have been asking God for a godly husband for years, but it hasn’t happened yet.  So does that mean God doesn’t want me to be married?
[Signed,]
Cathy

Pat Robertson basically tells Cathy that he doesn’t know what to say, but he tacks on his standard “God puts the lonely in families” reply, which I’ve discussed before on this blog: the truth is that no, despite that Bible verse about God putting the lonely in families, that is not true.

Continue reading “Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse”

Woman Who Married 300 Year Old Ghost Pirate Says Pair Have Split Up

Woman Who Married 300 Year Old Ghost Pirate Says Pair Have Split Up

(Link): Woman Who Married 300 Year Old Ghost Pirate Says Pair Have Split Up

by K. Highnett – Dec 2018

In July 2016, Irish woman Amanda Teague declared that she had married the undead spirit of Jack Teague, a 300-year old Haitian pirate she claims inspired the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series’ iconic Jack Sparrow.

Teague, who is a Jack Sparrow impersonator, announced the split on social media, writing, “So I feel it’s time to let everyone know that my marriage is over. I will explain all in due course but for now all I want to say is be very careful when dabbling in spirituality, it’s not something to mess with,” The Mirror reported.

Continue reading “Woman Who Married 300 Year Old Ghost Pirate Says Pair Have Split Up”

What is the Purpose of Marriage? Is It to Display Christ’s Love for the Church? by B. Roberts

What is the Purpose of Marriage? Is It to Display Christ’s Love for the Church? by B. Roberts

The following comes from a Christian blog that specializes in domestic violence in Christian marriages, and how churches usually let down victims of domestic violence.

I’ve always had a problem with the “marriage serves to illustrate God’s love for the church,” or however it’s put, because it leaves out adult singles. What of adult singles who never marry?

The fact is the Bible says anyone who accepts Christ as Savior is part of the “bride of Christ,” so adult singleness also serves as an illustration of the relationship between God and the church, but one never hears this from the marriage-idolizing Christians.

(Link): What is the purpose of marriage? Is it to display Christ’s love for the church? by B. Roberts

Excerpts:

Many Christian leaders these days are echoing the Roman Catholic view more than the Protestant view
Some protestants take the idea that marriage signifies unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church …and turn this signifying quality into one of the purposes of marriage.

Continue reading “What is the Purpose of Marriage? Is It to Display Christ’s Love for the Church? by B. Roberts”