Leaving Christianity gave me the fairy-tale ending I always wanted / Divorce and pre-marital sex destroyed my relationship with Christianity by T. Sheehan

Leaving Christianity gave me the fairy-tale ending I always wanted / Divorce and pre-marital sex destroyed my relationship with Christianity by T. Sheehan

Even though the details of my life and situation are different, I sure did relate to this lady’s story.

My eye brow did raise at one or two points of this essay, such as her claim that people at her church encouraged her to get an abortion when she became pregnant out of wedlock, and from the way she discusses her church, they sound pretty conservative and legalistic.

Perhaps she is telling the truth and that really did happen, it’s just that most conservative Christians are pro-life, not pro-choice, so I am having a hard time picturing any of them advising a pregnant woman to get an abortion.

With possibly a few wacko Protestant church exceptions, (Link): like this one, where the church’s preacher allegedly encouraged the women members to get abortions. But then, of course, there is information such as this: (Link): 2015 Poll: 70% of American Women Who Have Abortions Identify As Christian

By and large, though, most churches are pro-life, not pro-choice.

At one point in this essay, Sheehan says that although she and her male friend were not having sex, that due to being constantly suspected and accused of having sex by Christians at her church, is actually what in large measure drove her and her boyfriend to become sexually active with one another.

Major irony there. Or maybe not…

As I have said time and again at my blog, most Christians, just like secular culture, just blindly assumes that celibacy is impossible for anyone over the age of 25 or so, and that it is impossible for men and women to be platonic friends.

It is entirely possible for men and women to remain friends, and it is entirely possible for an adult to stay celibate for months or years at a time.

I have also explained before, in previous posts, that one reason there is so much fornication among Christian singles is precisely because most Christians have such low expectations: they expect that single adults will, or have, had sex outside of marriage. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy quite often.

The couple discussed in this post were expected, assumed to be, and suspected by their fellow congregants of sleeping together; this couple got tired of being falsely accused, so they figured, well, we might as well have sex, since everyone is already assuming we are and harassing us over it.

I also notice that one reason this woman’s husband, who was a Christian at one time, but is now an atheist or agnostic, began losing his faith over how miserably his grief (over the death of his father) was mishandled by Christians.

Oh yes, I relate: after my family member’s passing a few years ago, rather than receiving love, empathy, and encouragement from Christians in my family or churches I went to, I instead received judgment, criticism, platitudes, or indifference. This in turn is one of several things that caused me to partially leave the Christian faith.

One of a few things that caused Sheehan to leave the faith is over how one church she attended mishandled her abusive marriage – her priest told her to stay with the abusive husband.

This advice is also usually given in Baptist or Protestant situations. Christians often put keeping an (abusive) marriage before the welfare of the two persons who comprise the marriage.

Abused wives are usually instructed to stay with the abusive spouse and submit to the abuser more, or just pray about things. None of this resolves the situation but actually prolongs it.

I am not surprised in light of all the insensitive treatment that she and her husband endured at the hands of other believers, that they both developed major doubts about Christianity and walked away from it.

There were a few supportive comments to the woman who wrote this, in the comments area under the essay, but there were also a lot of hateful, judgmental, or naive posts left to her by Christians.

There were also a few annoying posts by atheists who were just there to say “all religion is idiotic, there is no God” to any of the well-meaning, yet naive Christians who were telling her to hold on to the faith, in spite of the Christians who had been mean to her at her prior churches.

Honestly, I wish those types of atheists would refrain from posting under articles like this one by Sheehan. I find their opportunistic, anti-theism drivel and rants to be about as bad as the nasty posts by the Christians who scolded Sheehan for leaving Christianity.

(Link): Leaving Christianity gave me the fairy-tale ending I always wanted 

  • Divorce and pre-marital sex destroyed my relationship with Christianity by T. Sheehan
  • My family has always been part of the Catholic Church, including being actively involved in fighting for those beliefs in Ireland and France through the centuries. It is all I knew and I never imagined a life without it. Even in today’s permissive society, divorce is still a huge don’t in the Catholic Church.

    When my priest advised me to stay in an abusive marriage rather than lose access to the Catholic religion, I stayed — until my husband left me for one of the many women he had been seeing.

    I went back to my priest for help but instead found myself without a church.

    Confused and directionless, I ended up seeking help at a Word of Faith Christian Church in Texas.

    Although the church and I both believed in Jesus, the similarities ended there. Everything was so different from what I had grown up with, it made the transition very difficult.

    They kept trying to break down my identity by using scripture to suggest that everything about me, from Catholicism to my Irish culture, was evil and against God. It was like going through spiritual boot camp as they attempted to rebuild me into a person that could gain access to heaven.

    During my time there, I met my current husband. He was also having a tough time as his father had died suddenly the year before, causing him to question the church he had been raised in and even the existence of God due to how they handled his grief.

    We became really good friends who spent hours talking as we each struggled with our sheltered worlds collapsing around us, no matter how hard we tried to fight to keep the walls intact.

    The damage in our lives, caused by blind devotion to a religion, forced us to question all the truths we had been raised to believe.

    Continue reading “Leaving Christianity gave me the fairy-tale ending I always wanted / Divorce and pre-marital sex destroyed my relationship with Christianity by T. Sheehan”

Pro-Life Groups Pit Abortion Against Animal Cruelty – How Much People Care Outrage

Pro-Life Groups Pit Abortion Against Animal Cruelty – How Much People Care Outrage

A brief recap, if you are new to my blog:

  • I am pro-life on the abortion topic, I am right wing, pretty socially conservative, and have voted Republican my entire life. None of which is to say I always agree with how social conservatives and Republicans handle or speak about every issue.

I follow a few pro-life accounts on Twitter, because I am pro-life.

Though I am pro-life, I do not always agree with every last stance of pro-life groups, or how they choose to speak out on the topic.

Unfortunately, Pro-life organizations and individuals tend to idolize the nuclear family and shame or criticize women who are infertile, who use IVF, who are child free, or who never marry, for whatever the reason.

Some of them do this in part because they wrongly assume the Bible or God commands all, or prefer for most, to marry and have children,  and they also assume God feels that a woman’s only supreme purpose in life is to have children. I have written of these issues before (Link): here and (Link): here, among other posts.

I recently “got into it” with a pro-life Twitter account, again. More about that in a few moments.

Continue reading “Pro-Life Groups Pit Abortion Against Animal Cruelty – How Much People Care Outrage”

Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians

Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians

I don’t normally discuss atheism a lot on my blog, though I do sometimes write posts about my quasi-agnostic status, but I couldn’t help but notice this phenomenon.

My time on Twitter has taught me that some atheists – especially the ones with an irrational hatred of all things theist, especially Christianity – are just as stupid, prejudiced, or narrow-minded about adult singleness and celibacy and adult virginity, as are many Protestant Evangelical Christians, and other types of Christians.

Liberal, progressive, and feminist Christians are also biased against adult celibates and celibacy itself, as are secular, left wing feminists.

I normally don’t usually go looking for fights with total strangers on Twitter.

A few days ago, I was looking for Tweets with the hash tag “single” or “celibate.” You never know if you do what may turn up – you may come across some links to some good articles that way.

In the midst of skimming the tweets with the “celibate” hash tag, I saw two tweets that were very dismissive of celibacy, by two different people, one apparently an atheist, and I think the other guy was an atheist as well.

I was polite in my replies to their Tweets. I was not rude. I didn’t insult either one.

I heard back from both guys.

One guy was definitely an atheist, and I’m not sure about the second guy – though I think he was atheist too, or maybe agnostic.

The second guy wasn’t so bad. He was cordial, so there wasn’t much back and forth with him.

However, first atheist guy, with the handle @atheistic_1, either tagged his buddies in the exchange, or of their own volition, they started to chip in.

The other guys were @JeffMunroe51 and a @lobsterchin.

I don’t remember the JeffM guy being too obnoxious, and he tried to bow out of the discussion after awhile.

The lobsterchin guy began acting like a jackass, and I banned him after a few tweets.

First off, these jokers assumed I was a man. I had to correct them on that.

These atheists who were tweeting me, particularly the “atheistic_1” guy, do not understand biblical views on celibacy or singleness or natalism any more than most Christians do.

As a matter of fact, the atheist and his Twitter buddies sounded remarkably like the ignorant conservative, Reformed, Baptist, fundamentalist, and evangelical Christians whose writings about celibacy, virginity, and singleness I have been regularly criticizing and correcting on this blog the last few years.

Continue reading “Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians”

China’s Brutal One-Child Policy Ruins Men’s Marriage Prospects, Resulting in Human Trafficking

China’s Brutal One-Child Policy Ruins Men’s Marriage Prospects, Resulting in Human Trafficking

(Link): China’s Brutal One-Child Policy Ruins Men’s Marriage Prospects, Resulting in Human Trafficking

  • by SARAH ZAGORSKI   JAN 23, 2015   |   10:29AM
  • (Link): According to the Chronicle Independent, China’s brutal one-child policy is ruining young men’s marriage prospects. This isn’t surprising considering that (Link): 400 million children have been aborted since the policy took effect 34 years ago.In 2013, Adam Minter, a writer for (Link): Bloomberg View, said that the Chinese government reported that 117.6 boys were born for every 100 girls. The normal ratio is 103 to 106 boys per 100 girls.Kinter writes, “In China, daughters are expected to marry up — and in a country where men far outnumber women, the opportunities to do so are excellent, especially in the cities to which so many of China’s rural women move. The result is that bride prices — essentially dowries paid to the families of daughters — are rising, especially in the countryside. One 2011 study on bride prices found that they’d increased 70-fold between the 1960s and 1990s in just one representative, rural hamlet.”
  • …Valerie Hudson, a professor at Texas A&M and Andrea den Boer, a lecturer at the University of Kent in the U.K., also explained how the one-child policy is affecting society.
  • …In the case of China, the fact that a sizeable percentage of young adult males will not be making that transition will have negative social repercussions, including increased crime, violent crime, crimes against women, vice, substance abuse and the formation of gangs that are involved in all of these antisocial behaviors.”
  • …. Additionally, (Link): as LifeNews previously reported, China accounts for 60% of the world’s sex trafficking. Statistics show that in Asian American populations, if a family’s first child is a girl, the gender imbalance ratio is the same for the second child as it is for the first child in China. In the end, the only reason baby girls are not allowed to be born is because they are girls.

Click link at top to read the rest of the article

——————-

Related posts

(Link):  Oil Town Where Single Male Population Vastly Outnumbers Females and they practically rape the women – Reflections on the Christian argument that men will treat women better if women in short supply

(Link):  Diamond too small? Chinese marriage proposals are SO over the top

(Link):  What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis (from TIME) (ie, Why Are Conservative Religious Women Not Marrying Even Though They Want to Be Married. Hint: It’s a Demographics Issue)

(Link): Man / Husband Shortage in Hong Kong – just like in American Christian circles

(Link): Interesting (and Disturbing) Editorial On How Males Outnumbering Females Leads to More Violence Against Women – Men Cannot Find Women To Marry, etc (Re Demographics in India, Gender Selective Abortion etc)

(Link): (Article) Young People in Japan Have Stopped Having Sex – sekkusu shinai shokogun – Celibacy Syndrome

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

Christian Man to Pregnant Girlfriend: Convert to My Religion or Have an Abortion

Christian Man to Pregnant Girlfriend: Convert to My Religion or Have an Abortion

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it: there is no advantage or benefit to Christian single women to keep following the “Be Equally Yoked” teaching in regards to dating and marriage when so many (I did not say ALL but MANY, or a significant portion of) Christian men turn out to be so deviant.

I would hope and assume if a man claims to follow the teachings of Jesus, he would be a person of integrity, compassion, and grace, but more often than not, that does not seem to be true. Here is another example.

(Link): Christian Man to Pregnant Girlfriend: Convert to My Religion or Have an Abortion

  • Jan 23, 2015
  • A Christian man got his girlfriend pregnant and urged her to have an abortion. He said that he would marry her and let her have the baby only if she would convert to Christianity for him.
  • However, she was hesitant, not wanting to embrace a religion for the wrong reasons. Therefore, he continued to pressure her to have an abortion. He was afraid, he said, what his church would think. And even though he was fine having sex with her, he would not marry a woman who was not a Christian.
  • [long quote by the woman about the situation]
  • Sadly, she had an abortion.

——————————

Related Posts:

(Link): Christian Single Women: Another Example of Why You Should Abandon the “Be Equally Yoked” Teaching: 21-Y-O Christianity Student, Children’s Minister Charged With Murdering Fiancée He Was to Wed in August; Made It Look Like Suicide

(Link): Christian Women Sexually Assaulted by Christian Men At Christian College – College Blames The Victims / Re: Patrick Henry College

(Link):  19-Year-Old Student at Christian College Bleeds to Death After Secretly Delivering Stillborn Baby in Dorm Room

Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions / Bro Choice Men – Abortion Benefits Men Who Want No – Consequence – To – Men Sex With Women

Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions / Bro Choice Men – Abortion Benefits Men Who Want No – Consequence – To – Men Sex With Women

This is from a left wing, secular feminist site (“Jezebel”), which is usually quite hostile towards Republicans and traditional values:

(Link): Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions

This is one of those topics where I’m not particularly on either side of the debate.

I am pro-life, right wing, and don’t generally agree with left wing feminists often.

While I think I understand the motives behind this pro-life video (which I have not watched, I’ve only read the summary of it by the secular feminist author), I think it was maybe not thought out well (again, going by the feminist’s description of it).

I can’t say as though I agree with feminists that men should have no say at all in abortion.

Continue reading “Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions / Bro Choice Men – Abortion Benefits Men Who Want No – Consequence – To – Men Sex With Women”

Single, Pregnant Mother Fired From Church For Not Being Married (2015)

Single, Pregnant Mother Fired From Church For Not Being Married (2015)

This is very similar to a post I did several months ago. You can read my opinions about story like the one below in (Link) this post here.

By the way, note that this woman is considered single by her church because she did not go to a courthouse and obtain a marriage license, contra to blogger John Morgan, who has the weirdo idea that this woman is already married to the baby daddy because the two had sex at one time.

Well, as far as this woman’s church employer is concerned, she is SINGLE (as in shacking up), since she is carrying a baby but not legally wed (by her state). If you would like to know more about that, please see these posts at this blog:

(Link):  Church Fires Pregnant, Unwed Mother

(Link):  Baptist church fires engaged and pregnant employee ‘for not being married’

Apryl Kellam, 21, was employed at the daycare center at Staples Mill Road Baptist Church in Henrico County in Virginia since September

She lost her job Monday for ‘violating policies’ she told Daily Mail Online

Miss Kellam lives with her fiancé, James, five-year-old stepdaughter and two-year-old daughter

The daycare worker, who is 25 weeks pregnant, said it would ‘stressful’ for the family to live off one salary

(Link):  VA woman says she’s being fired because she’s single and pregnant

(Link):  Single, pregnant mother fired from church for not being married

Jan 13, 2015

A single, pregnant mother is considering legal action after apparently being fired from her job at a Virginia baptist church.

Apryl Kellam is engaged to her fiancé, James Coalson, but church leaders allegedly demanded she get married after falling pregnant.

Kellam began working at Staples Mill Road Baptist Church in September, but claimed she never received or signed a copy of the employee handbook.The handbook allegedly said that church daycare employees must be married, although Kellam insisted she never hid her personal life.

Continue reading “Single, Pregnant Mother Fired From Church For Not Being Married (2015)”