Teenagers Given Condoms at School Likelier to Become Pregnant and get STDs / STIs: 2016 Study

Teenagers Given Condoms at School Likelier to Become Pregnant and Get STDs / STIs: 2016 Study

(Link): New Study Shows ’90s Era Condom Programs Increased Teen Fertility Rates

Excerpt:

by MICHAEL J. NEW

June 17, 2016

A new study by a pair of Notre Dame economists received some media attention this week. It found that school districts that instituted condom distribution programs in the early 1990s saw significant increases in the teen-fertility rate [as well as an increase in sexually transmitted diseases].

Why Aren’t Millennials Having Sex Anymore? via Relevant Magazine

Why Aren’t Millennials Having Sex Anymore? via Relevant Magazine

This article opens by citing various stats showing that today’s 20 somethings are not having sex, and a lot more of them are virgins.

This article seems pretty familiar – hopefully I have not blogged on it before.

(Link):  Why Aren’t Millennials Having Sex Anymore? via Relevant Magazine. by A. C. Hansbury

Excerpts:

October 26, 2015

….Of all the study shows, the most out-of-place finding doesn’t relate to sex but to virginity. Nearly 40 percent of college students claim they’ve never had sex.

Only five years ago, as the Esquire editorial notes, a (Link): 25-year, “exhaustive” study called “Sex Lives of College Students: A Quarter Century of Attitudes and Behaviors,” found that college students who say they’re virgins made up only 13 percent. If both numbers hold up, that’s a startling, 27 percent jump in a really short time span.

….They continue: “It’s as if sexual freedom has become a burden as well as a gift.”

We’re Casual About Sex and Serious About Consent. But Is It Working? by J. Zimmerman

We’re Casual About Sex and Serious About Consent. But Is It Working? by J. Zimmerman

And left wing, secular feminism actually encourages some of the very behavior that so many women find hurtful and damaging that is described in this editorial. This is one area where feminists really do deserve some blame.

There is nothing liberating, feminist, or empowering or freeing about women having casual sex with men at any age.

Nor is there anything feminist about feeling pressured into having sex because some left wing feminists insist women of all ages should be engaging in casual sex to be “real women” or to be sexually liberated, or whatever nonsense they spout.

(Link): We’re casual about sex and serious about consent. But is it working? By Jon Zimmerman /  October 13, 2015

Excerpts:

… That’s a question about intimacy, not just about consent. And the discussion about emotional connection and communication is mostly missing from the endless role-plays, workshops and online courses that we foist upon our students when they get to college.

In fact, it’s the great contradiction at the heart of our college sex wars.

University administrators take it for granted that a certain amount of sex will be “casual,” that is, devoid of intimate emotion or connection.

But our rules now require the sharing of feelings, even in an encounter that is by definition divorced from them.

We simply assume that virtual strangers will be having sex. But we urge them — or, even legally enjoin them — to communicate openly and explicitly about it.

Good luck with that. We might succeed in cajoling more students into some kind of verbal consent. But that’s a script, a bedroom contract between sexual vendors.

Yes, it will make the whole transaction legal. But consensual? Really?  If you met somebody an hour ago, how can you tell what they want? And  since you know so little about them, aren’t you more likely to do something that they don’t want, no matter what kind of “consent” they have given?

Why Are Christian Guys Silent About Abstinence? by C. Hill

Why Are Christian Guys Silent About Abstinence? by C. Hill

The link to the editorial by C. Hill is much farther down the page. I wanted to spend several paragraphs discussing the editorial itself before linking to it.

I sometimes wonder if authors on sites such as Christianity Today or Christian Post read my blog or comments I’ve left on other blogs (under other names or sometimes under the “Christian Pundit” moniker), because some of the points this guy makes are ones that I have made before, that I have not seen other writers make.

One such point: we live in a culture that increasingly demands that we respect everyone else’s sexual behavior and choices, everything from having pre-marital sex, to having homosexual sex, to engaging in adultery.

I’ve even seen increased acceptance of Asexuality.

However, if one is a heterosexual with a normal sex drive and interest in sex who never the less chooses to refrain from sex (i.e., to stay a virgin or be celibate), and especially if one is past one’s mid or late 20s age-wise, one is judged, mocked, or condemned by that same culture.

That is, the same people demanding that I, a hetero celibate / virgin, respect or applaud homosexuality or adultery, are the very same people who would make fun of a person or criticize them for being a virgin over the age of 18 or 25, or being celibate, if having been sexually active before. It’s a very hypocritical position and one that is common, but it’s  seldom a point I’ve seen called out by others.

Meagan Good Tells Single Women Why They Should Stop Having Sex

Meagan Good Tells Single Women Why They Should Stop Having Sex

I’ve never heard of her before – Megan Good.

At least she isn’t running around promoting use of terms or concepts that annoy me to no end, such as “born again virgin” or “spiritual virgin” (see this link for more).

I’ve not started having sex yet myself, so I find it funny that a portion of this headline reads, “why you should stop having sex”.

It’s sad how even this 30-something actress seems to assume that all unmarried women are boinking outside of marriage. Not all of us are.

There is no acknowledgement among Christians (and Non) that there are any virgins over the age of 25 or 30.

Christians continually assume all singles past a certain age are fornicating. I find this continual assumption unfair and possibly discouraging to adults who have stayed the course on biblical sexual ethics, Christians who are virgins over the age of 25 or 30 and beyond.

I’m not having an easy time following this story I am linking to below.

Based on what I’ve read before, it sounds to me (and yes, I could have this totally wrong),  is that she was NOT a virgin before she married.

It sounds as though she was fornicating (with other men), but when she got engaged, she and her honey pie (who she eventually married, or will marry) decided to stay celibate with each other until they married. Maybe I have that wrong, but that’s what it sounds like to me.

Anyway, here is the link.

(I have a few  more comments below this long excerpt):

(Link):  Meagan Good Tells Single Women Why They Should Stop Having Sex

Excerpts:

“Minority Report” actress Meagan Good is speaking out about the importance of encouraging young women to abstain from sex in a way that’s seemingly not religious.

Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians

Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians

I don’t normally discuss atheism a lot on my blog, though I do sometimes write posts about my quasi-agnostic status, but I couldn’t help but notice this phenomenon.

My time on Twitter has taught me that some atheists – especially the ones with an irrational hatred of all things theist, especially Christianity – are just as stupid, prejudiced, or narrow-minded about adult singleness and celibacy and adult virginity, as are many Protestant Evangelical Christians, and other types of Christians.

Liberal, progressive, and feminist Christians are also biased against adult celibates and celibacy itself, as are secular, left wing feminists.

I normally don’t usually go looking for fights with total strangers on Twitter.

A few days ago, I was looking for Tweets with the hash tag “single” or “celibate.” You never know if you do what may turn up – you may come across some links to some good articles that way.

In the midst of skimming the tweets with the “celibate” hash tag, I saw two tweets that were very dismissive of celibacy, by two different people, one apparently an atheist, and I think the other guy was an atheist as well.

I was polite in my replies to their Tweets. I was not rude. I didn’t insult either one.

I heard back from both guys.

One guy was definitely an atheist, and I’m not sure about the second guy – though I think he was atheist too, or maybe agnostic.

The second guy wasn’t so bad. He was cordial, so there wasn’t much back and forth with him.

However, first atheist guy, with the handle @atheistic_1, either tagged his buddies in the exchange, or of their own volition, they started to chip in.

The other guys were @JeffMunroe51 and a @lobsterchin.

I don’t remember the JeffM guy being too obnoxious, and he tried to bow out of the discussion after awhile.

The lobsterchin guy began acting like a jackass, and I banned him after a few tweets.

First off, these jokers assumed I was a man. I had to correct them on that.

These atheists who were tweeting me, particularly the “atheistic_1” guy, do not understand biblical views on celibacy or singleness or natalism any more than most Christians do.

As a matter of fact, the atheist and his Twitter buddies sounded remarkably like the ignorant conservative, Reformed, Baptist, fundamentalist, and evangelical Christians whose writings about celibacy, virginity, and singleness I have been regularly criticizing and correcting on this blog the last few years.

When True Love Keeps Waiting – What Celibacy Feels Like for Older Singles by A. McCracken

When True Love Keeps Waiting – What Celibacy Feels Like for Older Singles by A. McCracken

She basically says the same things here I’ve been saying on this blog the last three or four or however many years I’ve been blogging here (edit: note: people in the comments say that the woman who wrote this article has written on other sites that she is no longer waiting for marriage to have sex, but for a long term relationship):

(Link): When True Love Keeps Waiting – What celibacy feels like for older singles by A. McCracken

Excerpts (use link above to read the entire page):

• At 15, I took a vow of celibacy, “True Love Waits.” I stood in front my church, alongside teens who’d betrayed that promise before it began—including a girlfriend who (I later learned) was secretly having sex and my high school crush, who’d proudly told me he’d hooked up with a girl at church camp.
• … At 37, I’m still waiting. And while I recognize that my strong sense of self-discipline and self-worth has created a possibly endless quest, I can’t deny what I feel in my heart to be spiritually sacred.
• For women who remain virgins into their late 20s, 30s, and beyond, it feels like our choices are constantly called into question. From the church, we hear: Why haven’t you gotten married yet? From the rest of society, it’s: Why don’t you just do it?
• When my essay “Does My Virginity Have a Shelf Life?” was published in November 2013 in The New York Times, I went through a roller coaster of emotions: fear, pride, shame, vulnerability, and excitement. A female writer from Slatesupported me. A female writer from Cosmopolitan tore me apart. Secular media seems to be fascinated with my experience, though with each story, editors have downplayed my church ties and Christian roots.
• I’ve since written about my virginity for Glamour and appeared in a segment on Katie Couric’s talk show. (Even Katie told me off camera I had “fairytale princess syndrome” and I should go ahead and have sex.)

• Following the publicity, several of my Christian girlfriends in their 30s reached out to me. Some, still virgins, were thrilled to hear someone who had a similar story. Others shared their experiences giving up the conviction to wait.

Married Virgin Asexual Woman Allows Her Husband To Have Sex with Other Women – Why Christians Need to Emphasize Sexual Self Control For Everyone, Not Just Teen Girls

The married virgin ‘repulsed’ by sex who encourages her ‘perfect’ husband to sleep with escorts while helping him to find a live-in lover

Asexuals are not the same thing as celibates. Asexuals either experience little sexual desire, or none. Celibates experience sexual urges but chose not to act upon them, or cannot, if they are single and believe sex prior to marriage is wrong.

I find it sad I need to explain this up front, but many Christians are very ignorant about celibacy and often confuse it with asexuality: they assume that celibates and virgins over 30 have no sexual desire or urges, or, many Christians assume that celibates find staying celibate easy breezy, that God has “gifted” older virgins so that the older virgin experiences no interest in or desire for sex – which is a wrong view. Totally wrong.

This also goes to show that married sex is not, as Christians teach, “mind blowing.” Christians try to offer incentives to people to stay virgins until marriage, one of which is, “Once you marry, the sex will be frequent and awesome.”

In this article, you have a virgin woman who is also asexual. She wants male companionship minus sexual activity, so she is allowing her husband to have sex with other women.

This is yet another reason why Christians need to emphasize that sexual self control and celibacy is for everyone, even married people, not just for teen-aged girls – but Christians, when they do bother to address the issues of virginity and sexual self control – often only frame it in terms of teen-aged girls. They do not usually remind married couples that they too need to practice sexual self-restraint.

I would also like to remind Christians that married couples do in fact engage in sexual sin. Often times, Christians think that marriage is a cure-all for sexual sin, that if only people marry and marry by the time they are 25 years old, that the couple will not fall into sexual sin.

Christians seem to assume that any and all un-married adults over the age of 25 or 30 are having hot panther sex with a different person every week, which is not so. Yes, our culture is sex saturated, and there is a lot of pre-marital boinking going on, but at the same time, there are people who are sexually abstaining.

The people who are over 25 and 30 and older -who are celibate or who are virgins- could use examples of themselves on television, in sermons, and in books, so they can see they are not alone, so they can have figures in the culture that represent their lifestyle who they can relate to.

Adult celibates and virgins could maybe use some encouragement at remaining chaste, but Christians give them none. All of the Christian community’s energy is directed at supporting “the nuclear family,” and defending “traditional marriage” from homosexual marriage advocates. There is next to no effort at giving practical or emotional support to adult celibates and adult virgins.

(Link) The married virgin ‘repulsed’ by sex who encourages her ‘perfect’ husband to sleep with escorts while helping him to find a live-in lover

As to the news story above. I do not agree with adultery (or “open marriages”) even if both partners agree to it or know about it in advance. I have posted several stories on this blog of married couples who “allow” their partner to cheat on them, or who are “swingers.” This whole thing is awful and makes a mockery out of marriage.

Excerpts from the article.

Asexual Woman Repulsed By Sex Allows Her Spouse to Sleep with Escorts

• By GEORGINA BISVAL FOR DAILYMAIL.COM
• PUBLISHED: 13:25 EST, 13 March 2015 | UPDATED: 14:41 EST, 13 March 2015
• Erica Holloway, 30, has known that she was asexual since the age of 15
• She and husband Andrew, 30, have been married since 2012 but have never had sex
• IT consultant Andrew has slept with ten other women, including a number of professional escorts, since he married Erica  
• In the one and a half years they have been married Andrew and Erica Holloway have never argued, have no secrets and are more in love today than the moment they met.
• Yet incredibly this Melbourne-based couple, both aged 30, have never consummated their marriage – and Erica admits that she has no intention of ever doing so.
• For while Andrew would love to rip his wife’s clothes off, Erica is in fact still a virgin and reveals to the Daily Mail Online that the very idea of making love to her husband is a complete turn off rather than a turn on.

• ‘I wish I wanted to have sex with my husband,’ Erica, a graphic designer, explains.

  ‘But I don’t and I know I never will as, while I love him, the idea of sex repulses me.

  ‘We are still very affectionate with each other and love to hold hands and kiss and cuddle, but that’s as far as I could ever go.

  ‘People might think our marriage would be a disaster because of this, but we are as happy now as the day we met.’

  She added that she has known since the age of 15 that she was asexual, after realizing she had never felt sexually attracted to anyone.

Christian, or Feminist? from The Atlantic (discusses sexuality, virginity, other topics)

Christian, or Feminist? by Emma Green

(Link): Christian, or Feminist? by Emma Green, March 4, 2015

Excerpts:

• A new book about purity culture shows the difficulty of reconciling women’s liberation with evangelical faith.

• But the tension between political feminism and political Christianity is fundamentally philosophical, Anderson argues: Whereas feminism relies on the idea that individual women should have control over their bodies, certain Christian theological traditions have more of a communal focus.
• By way of example, she points to the theologian Stanley Hauerwas, who wrote in 1991 that Christians “do not believe that we have a right to do whatever we want with our bodies … because when we are baptized we become members of one another … In the church, we tell you what you can and cannot do with your genitals.”
• Despite being at odds in their politics, evangelical Christians and feminists share a fixation on sex. Arguably, the focus on “purity” in evangelical culture arose in response to a secular, sex-obsessed American culture; for example, the first purity ball was hosted in 1998 by a Christian family in Colorado Springs as a celebration of father-daughter relationships and girls’ virginity.
• “Endeavoring to claim the title of counterculture, the modern evangelical church responds to what it sees as a sexually permissive culture by locking down on purity and virginity,” Anderson writes.
• Yet even the language Christians and feminists use to talk about sex is different. While being “countercultural” in the 60s might have involved orgies and free love, in the evangelical world, it means preserving one’s emotional and sexual purity despite the mores of “mainstream” culture.
• For that matter, “the way we talk about intimacy is less about physical intimacy—it’s about emotional intimacy,” Anderson said. “When people talk about affairs [in secular culture], they usually mean the physical relationship, but in evangelical culture, there’s a discussion of the emotional affair, the emotional giving-away-of-yourself.” Growing up, Anderson’s youth-group leaders would warn against the temptation of sexual “petting,” and they cautioned against “solo sex”—”Christianese for masturbation,” Anderson writes.
• Although her book is all about sex and sexuality, Anderson maintains that a single-minded focus is counter-productive. “Sexual purity—rather than a relationship with Jesus, caring for the poor, or loving one’s neighbor—has become the marker of a good Christian,” she writes. Conversely, at times, “sex becomes the god we worship, and we will go to any length to obtain it.” The solution, she writes, is to recognize that “sexuality is not the center of a person’s life, faith, or health.”
• … But it is probably more honest. Anderson really wrote Damaged Goods because, as she puts it, “I felt like a freak because I was a feminist, a Christian, and a virgin.” For the next generation, this might be a useful framework for engaging with both Christianity and feminism, and one that will probably resonate: understanding the work of Jesus and the identities of women not in abstract political terms, but as glimpses of truth people use in shaping their own lives.

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Related Posts:

(Link): Sexual Purity, Virginity, and Celibacy As Product – and: Christian Myths That Are Keeping Marriage Minded Single Women Single Courtesy Dannah Gresh

(Link):

A Teen Tried To Kill Three Women “In Revenge” Because He Was A Virgin – felt that women “were the weaker” breed

A Teen Tried To Kill Three Women “In Revenge” Because He Was A Virgin

Talk about male entitlement run amok. First of all, there is nothing bad, wrong, or unusual with being a virgin at age 17 or 18, for males or females.

Secondly, women do not owe men dates, sex, companionship or anything. I’m not sure what this young man’s religious beliefs were, but I can tell you I have seen some of the same entitlement mentality towards women from Christian adult men, not just Non Christians.

At the end of it all, these murders (or attempted murders) were this guy’s responsibility. However, maybe if our culture did not shame and mock virginity so much some of these men would not feel compelled to murder people, or stigmatization of virginity would not add to whatever pathologies they suffer.

One of the comments he made in a diary reads,

• “I attack women because I grew up to believe them as a more weaker part of the human breed.”

And that is the same mindset of Christian gender complementarians: that women are “the weaker” half of humans. It’s why some of them use the rationale that women should not lead or preach in churches or have equality in marriages.

I bet John Morgan will see this story on my blog and mention it on his blog, which I find a problem because,

• (Link): Blogger Guy Who Accused Me Of Being Untrustworthy Finds My Blog Trustworthy Enough to Use as Resource

(Link):  Teenager Ben Moynihan found guilty of attempted murder of three women out of revenge because he ‘could not lose his virginity’

A teenager has been found guilty of the attempted murder of three women who he attacked out of revenge because he could not lose his virginity.

Ben Moynihan, 18, stabbed three women aged 20, 45 and 67 in random attacks as they walked alone in the north area of Portsmouth, Hampshire, in June and July last year.

Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions / Bro Choice Men – Abortion Benefits Men Who Want No – Consequence – To – Men Sex With Women

Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions / Bro Choice Men – Abortion Benefits Men Who Want No – Consequence – To – Men Sex With Women

This is from a left wing, secular feminist site (“Jezebel”), which is usually quite hostile towards Republicans and traditional values:

(Link): Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions

This is one of those topics where I’m not particularly on either side of the debate.

I am pro-life, right wing, and don’t generally agree with left wing feminists often.

While I think I understand the motives behind this pro-life video (which I have not watched, I’ve only read the summary of it by the secular feminist author), I think it was maybe not thought out well (again, going by the feminist’s description of it).

I can’t say as though I agree with feminists that men should have no say at all in abortion.

Interviews With Various Adult Celibates

Interviews With Various Adult Celibates

(Link):  For Some, It’s No Sex Before Marriage. For Them, It’s No Sex Until…

Interviews With Various Adult Celibates

Excerpts:

• Curated by Chie Davis

• In a time where there’s so much emphasis on being sexy, sex before marriage, sex with no marriage, bringing sexy back, having sex in the city … you get it. There’s messages everywhere screaming sex, sex, sex!
• Here’s a refreshing take that actually puts all that talk in perspective. It’s about NO SEX. But for these folks, it’s not the sleepy desert of loneliness that’s often painted … it’s more empowering.
• My name is Isaac. I’m 31 years old and I live in Brooklyn. My first attempt with celibacy had to do with me traveling to the Amazon and working with various plants down there. In order to properly absorb the plants and work with them on a deeper level, you needed to abstain from sex for a month.
• This time around, it’s a little different. I’ve been celibate for about one year. It has to do with me getting divorced, ending a relationship of six years, feeling like I needed to recharge and take a break from the pursuit of sex, and I just needed to take a period of time for my own healing.
• In a way, I’m channeling all of that sexual energy into musical energy, creative energy, and I am working on mastering myself in the process and being the best musician that I can possibly be.

  My name is Antonia. I’m 42 and I’m from Brooklyn. Before two years ago, I didn’t know that there was such a thing as asexuality. I was writing a dating profile and I was trying to describe myself, and the term I came up with was naturally celibate.

• I saw this thing called asexual and I was like, “Oh, what’s that?” And so I clicked on it and now, I was like, “Oh, my God, that’s like totally me.”
• I’ve had sex, you know, because that’s the normal thing you’re supposed to do, and it’s just like other things I could be doing. I think I’m more of a sensual person. I would much prefer laying in bed hugging.
• That turns me on as opposed to the sex per se. You know, I’ve always been a spiritual person. I think for me, it’s important that sex have that spiritual component to it, that’s what would interest me, you know, as opposed to just a regular physical thing.

  My name is Anthony. I’m 26. I work in Manhattan. Before I fight, I usually choose to abstain for about two months.

• I choose to abstain because it gives me an edge when I fight. It makes me angrier and I feel just stronger.
• My favorite fighters are old-school fighters and they chose to abstain before their fights, so I decided to abstain also, give me that extra edge. When I haven’t abstained, I’ve noticed that I was weaker. I wasn’t as strong fighting and wasn’t as sure.

There were two or three other interviews on that page.

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Related:

(Link): Virgins and Celibates are Sexual – Not Asexual and Androgynous – You don’t have to have sex to possess sexuality

(Link):  Typical Erroneous Teaching About Adult Celibacy Rears Its Head Again: To Paraphrase Speaker at Ethics and Public Policy Center: Lifelong Celibacy is “heroic ethical standard that is not expected of heteros, so it should not be expected of homosexuals”

(Link):  Douglas Wilson and Christian Response FAIL to Sexual Sin – No Body Can Resist Sex – supposedly – Re Celibacy

(Link):  Male Entitlement and Adult Virginity: Who has it worse, Male Vs. Female? (critique of post at other blog)

(Link):  On ‘Late’-In-Life Virginity Loss (from The Atlantic)

(Link): Why Some People Become 30 Year Old Virgins (Article / Study)

(Link): Asexuality and Asexuals

(Link): Virginity Lost, Experience Gained (article with information from study about virginity)

(Link): Living Myths About Virginity – article from The Atlantic

(Link): Article: Our Born-Again Virgin Bachelor – Secondary or Spiritual Virginity

(Link):  “Even more bizarrely, Christianity held up lifelong celibacy as an even more exalted state of life” (editorial by P. Gobry)

(Link):  Pastors avoid ‘controversy’ to keep tithes up, author says – Confirms What I’ve Been Saying All Along, Re: Churches: Contrary to Progressive Christians, Churches / Christians Do Not Support or Idolize Sexual Purity, Virginity, or Celibacy – they attack these concepts when not ignoring them

(Link):  Want To Grow Your Church? Advertise Sex (Story via A Little Leaven Blog)

(Link):  The Decisive Marriage – Study Says Couples Who Don’t Have Pre-Marital Sex, or Not Much or Not Many Sexual Partners Pre-Marriage, Have Better Quality or Longer Lasting Marriages

(Link):  No Christians and Churches Do Not Idolize Virginity and Sexual Purity – Christians Attack and Criticize Virginity Sexual Purity Celibacy / Virginity Sexual Purity Not An Idol

(Link):  Preacher: ‘They Will Know We Are Christians By Our Hot SEX Lives’ – and once more, never-married celibate adults and their experiences, wisdom, and input are ignored

(Link):  Study on Male, Christian Sexual Abstinence Reveals Many Christians Still Clinging to Gendered Sexual Stereotypes

(Link):  Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric ( Re Driscoll Rant known as Pussified Nation )