The married virgin ‘repulsed’ by sex who encourages her ‘perfect’ husband to sleep with escorts while helping him to find a live-in lover
Asexuals are not the same thing as celibates. Asexuals either experience little sexual desire, or none. Celibates experience sexual urges but chose not to act upon them, or cannot, if they are single and believe sex prior to marriage is wrong.
I find it sad I need to explain this up front, but many Christians are very ignorant about celibacy and often confuse it with asexuality: they assume that celibates and virgins over 30 have no sexual desire or urges, or, many Christians assume that celibates find staying celibate easy breezy, that God has “gifted” older virgins so that the older virgin experiences no interest in or desire for sex – which is a wrong view. Totally wrong.
This also goes to show that married sex is not, as Christians teach, “mind blowing.” Christians try to offer incentives to people to stay virgins until marriage, one of which is, “Once you marry, the sex will be frequent and awesome.”
In this article, you have a virgin woman who is also asexual. She wants male companionship minus sexual activity, so she is allowing her husband to have sex with other women.
This is yet another reason why Christians need to emphasize that sexual self control and celibacy is for everyone, even married people, not just for teen-aged girls – but Christians, when they do bother to address the issues of virginity and sexual self control – often only frame it in terms of teen-aged girls. They do not usually remind married couples that they too need to practice sexual self-restraint.
I would also like to remind Christians that married couples do in fact engage in sexual sin. Often times, Christians think that marriage is a cure-all for sexual sin, that if only people marry and marry by the time they are 25 years old, that the couple will not fall into sexual sin.
Christians seem to assume that any and all un-married adults over the age of 25 or 30 are having hot panther sex with a different person every week, which is not so. Yes, our culture is sex saturated, and there is a lot of pre-marital boinking going on, but at the same time, there are people who are sexually abstaining.
The people who are over 25 and 30 and older -who are celibate or who are virgins- could use examples of themselves on television, in sermons, and in books, so they can see they are not alone, so they can have figures in the culture that represent their lifestyle who they can relate to.
Adult celibates and virgins could maybe use some encouragement at remaining chaste, but Christians give them none. All of the Christian community’s energy is directed at supporting “the nuclear family,” and defending “traditional marriage” from homosexual marriage advocates. There is next to no effort at giving practical or emotional support to adult celibates and adult virgins.
(Link) The married virgin ‘repulsed’ by sex who encourages her ‘perfect’ husband to sleep with escorts while helping him to find a live-in lover
As to the news story above. I do not agree with adultery (or “open marriages”) even if both partners agree to it or know about it in advance. I have posted several stories on this blog of married couples who “allow” their partner to cheat on them, or who are “swingers.” This whole thing is awful and makes a mockery out of marriage.
Excerpts from the article.
Asexual Woman Repulsed By Sex Allows Her Spouse to Sleep with Escorts
- By GEORGINA BISVAL FOR DAILYMAIL.COM
- Erica Holloway, 30, has known that she was asexual since the age of 15
- She and husband Andrew, 30, have been married since 2012 but have never had sex
- IT consultant Andrew has slept with ten other women, including a number of professional escorts, since he married Erica
- In the one and a half years they have been married Andrew and Erica Holloway have never argued, have no secrets and are more in love today than the moment they met.
- Yet incredibly this Melbourne-based couple, both aged 30, have never consummated their marriage – and Erica admits that she has no intention of ever doing so.
- For while Andrew would love to rip his wife’s clothes off, Erica is in fact still a virgin and reveals to the Daily Mail Online that the very idea of making love to her husband is a complete turn off rather than a turn on.
‘I wish I wanted to have sex with my husband,’ Erica, a graphic designer, explains.
‘But I don’t and I know I never will as, while I love him, the idea of sex repulses me.
‘We are still very affectionate with each other and love to hold hands and kiss and cuddle, but that’s as far as I could ever go.
‘People might think our marriage would be a disaster because of this, but we are as happy now as the day we met.’
She added that she has known since the age of 15 that she was asexual, after realizing she had never felt sexually attracted to anyone.
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