Divorced 50-Something Lady Named Andy Says Her Ex Husband Gave Her an STD

Divorced 50-Something Lady Named Andy Says Her Ex Husband Gave Her an STD

On the November 6, 2018 episode of “The 700 Club” the Christian show host received a letter from a 54 year old woman named “Andy.”

I do not as of yet see this letter uploaded on (Link): the 700 Club You Tube account,  (it would probably be uploaded under the “Your Questions, Honest Answers” section – edit: the just uploaded the ENTIRE day’s episode, the letter comes towards the end of the show/video), and I saw this letter only one time, so I am having to go on memory here.

(Whoever runs the 700 Club You Tube account has dropped the ball over the past year: they used to promptly upload each and every episode and the “Answers to Questions” segments every day within an hour after airing on TV, but they’ve not been doing that lately I have noticed. Anyway.)

From what I can recall, this Andy lady (who is apparently a Christian) said she was married to her husband for about twenty years.

Andy said at one stage of their marriage that her husband had an affair with another woman, which resulted in the husband contracting a very bad STD (sexually transmitted disease), and he passed it on to her.

This played a role in why she divorced her husband. She remains single now.

Calvary Chapel Pastor in Florida Pleads Guilty to Murdering his Mistress

Calvary Chapel Pastor in Florida Pleads Guilty to Murdering his Mistress

I first saw this story via Janey The Small on Twitter. This news story seems familiar – I hope I didn’t already post it to the blog.

I’ve said it before, and I’ll keep saying it: Christian singles: drop the “Equally Yoked” teaching. You need to judge people by their character if you want to date or marry them. You should not, for your safety, go by a label. Just because someone wears the label of “Christian” does not ensure they are a friendly, loving, ethical person.

I’d also have to say that stories like this go to show the Christian teaching of “hot, regular Christian married sex” is a great big falsehood. If married Christian sex was so great, why do I see these news stories of these men cheating on their wives?

By the way, this story also goes to show that contrary to a lot of Christian teaching, you do NOT have to earn a spouse, or be perfect or godly before God will send you a spouse. If that teaching were true, murdering slime balls like this guy in this story never would have been able to marry.

(Link): Calvary Chapel Pastor in Florida Pleads Guilty to Murdering his Mistress

Excerpt:

James Flanders, the Calvary Chapel Pastor from Florida who was suspected of murdering his mistress who he considered his “second wife” has now plead guilty to manslaughter charges as part of a negotiation for reduced sentencing and a plea deal to lessen his time in prison.
— end excerpts —

That post in turn links to this one:

(Link):  Former pastor pleads in murder case involving missing woman (VIDEOS)

April 2016

FORT WALTON BEACH — Former pastor James Ty Flanders pleaded guilty Thursday to killing Marie Jane Carlson in October, 2011 and has shown authorities where he buried her body.

Today will begin the “very tedious and time consuming” task of unearthing the corpse, according to State Attorney Bill Eddins.

…Flanders, who has been in jail facing the second-degree murder charge since last May 14, finally confessed during plea negotiations to killing Carlson, who he has said he considered his second wife.

We’re All Visual – Responding to Common Christian Claim that Only Men Are Visual – via God Loves Women blog

We’re All Visual – Responding to Common Christian Claim that Only Men Are Visual – via God Loves Women blog

Someone on my Twitter re-Tweeted a link to the link below.

The e-mail from Gross (that is mentioned at the other blog) also shames and blames women whose husbands are using porn; he actually tells them that their husbands are still owed sex, they should not “put walls up” with their spouse and treat their husbands with suspicion in all areas of their lives, and so on.

Gross’ comments were inappropriate and insensitive to women who find out their husbands are cheating on them by viewing pornography. You can visit this blog below to see those additional comments.

I’d like to add that this also goes to show the the Christian trope that Christian married sex will be hot, steamy, and satisfying is false. Obviously, some Christian men (and married Christian women) are using porn, so they are not being fully sexually satisfied in the sack by their Christian spouse.

Also note that this disproves the Christian myth that married persons are immune from sexual sin. They are not. Married people are not more sexually pure than adult singles.

(Link): We’re All Visual 

Excerpts:

I received an email from Craig Gross at XXX Church the other day.  I had not signed up for emails from them.  This is because XXX Church and Craig Gross purchase email address lists to be able to market to the people on them.  Find out more about that (Link): HERE.

This uninvited email was telling women how to deal with their husbands’ viewing pornography.  I was horrified and angered by the content that was in the email and took to Twitter to communicate that to Craig Gross.  I shall be spending this blog articulating WHY his email was so dangerous and will by referring t the email, the blog that the email is an excerpt from and my Twitter interaction with him.

…Right, let’s get this VISUAL NATURE nonsense.

Cordelia Fine’s book “Delusions of Gender” is a must read for anyone who wants to understand the basics of neurobiology.  NOTHING IS HARDWIRED IN THE BRAIN.  The last ten years has seen neuroscience reject the idea of hardwiring in the brain.  The most recent science states that NEUROPLASTICITY (http://www.whatisneuroplasticity.com) is how the brain works.

The frontal cortex of the brain (the bit which deals with cognition) only really begins to develop after birth.  This means that almost everything brain based is malleable according to context and socialisation.

It is not in men’s “nature” to be visual, it is in their socialisation.

Christian Author of a “Dude’s Guide to Marriage” Book Fired From Church Pastor Job for Inappropriate Behavior With Two Women

Christian Author of a “Dude’s Guide to Marriage” Book Fired From Church Pastor Job for Inappropriate Behavior With Two Women

I hope I am understanding this story correctly. This guy who was fired – the church who fired him (I think it was a church) – is being rather vague about it.

They did say in one of their released statements that this married pastor is not guilty of adultery, but that he did something inappropriate with two women.

Knowing what I know about conservative, evangelical Christianity and some of these Reformed guys, they will nit pick over how they describe sexual sin: this guy may not have strictly performed penis in the vagina sex on these other women, but I bet you anything he probably performed some other sexual sin.

Maybe this dude-bro pastor sent these women dirty text messages, unsolicited penis photos, they performed oral sex on him (or vice versa), or something else.

Christians who cover up sexual sins by pastors, or who try to diminish them, tend to be like former American president Bill Clinton when confronted on his dalliance with Lewinisky: they finely parse their language about it. They won’t come right out and say “this married pastor got a blow job from a hooker,” or what not, so they use euphemisms.

What kills me about this guy is that he’s apparently a gender complementarian preacher who has written books with titles such as “A Dude’s Guide to Marriage,” and some other book with a title like “How to Be a Manly Man.”

Baptist Preacher Hires His Mistress To Set His Wife On Fire

Baptist Preacher Hires His Mistress To Set His Wife On Fire

This news story is another indicator of how the Christian “equally yoked” teaching is bunk: I’d rather marry an Atheist guy who would NOT burn me alive than marry (and be “equally yoked” to) a Christian preacher who would hire his MISTRESS to set me on fire.

(This article says this MARRIED Christian also stole money from his elderly mother. What a P.O.S.)

Also note how being married does NOT, contra what Christians teach, make a person more loving, responsible, godly, or mature.

And why is a 33 year old woman having an affair with a 71 year old man? GROSS.

(Yes, it’s (Link): totally gross). I guess she was just using him for his money – this article says he bought her a new car and paid her bills.

You quite obviously do not have to be godly or perfect to merit a spouse, as this jerk creep guy was married. (A lot of Christians teach that you have to earn a spouse by being a good person or by being godly or by being more “whatever.”)

That so many losers, deviants, and creeps get spouses, (even so many losers who profess belief in Christ), it goes to show that no, you do not have to achieve some level of perfection or godliness before God will send you a spouse.

Also note that both cheaters in this story are MARRIED. Christians often depict un -married women as being harlots who set out to bed married men (usually, though not always, this is done under the “Billy Graham Rule”), when in fact, it’s usually married people who have affairs with other married people.

How mind-blowing is married Christian sex (something that Christian assert) that this married Christian man was apparently seeking nooky with another woman (I presume he was boinking the other lady)?

(Link): Baptist pastor sentenced to 50 years for hiring mistress and her husband to set his wife on fire

Excerpts:

• A Baptist pastor from Missouri has been sentenced to 50 years in prison last week for hiring his mistress and her husband to burn his house down with his wife inside of it, reports the Riverfront Times.

Church Knew of Preacher’s Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet

Church Knew of Preacher’s Affairs, Advised Him To Keep It Quiet

This is a follow up to my previous post (there are further updates at the bottom of this post):

• (Link): Preacher Tullian Tchividjian Possibly Involved in Another Inappropriate Sexual Relationship (March 2016) / Why Do Christians Not Have a RBGR – Reverse Billy Graham Rule

The pastor I reference in my headline of this blog post is Tullian Tchividjian.

I know I probably should not be surprised at this point, but I still find myself surprised or dumbfounded at how so many Christians or churches today do not take sexual sins seriously.

I already know that most churches prefer to hear sexual purity sermons (Link): from fornicators than they do from actual, honest- to- God adult virgins.

But I thought, maybe, just maybe, some churches out there at least have the sense to sermonize against adultery and other sorts of sexual sins, or hold sexual sinners  ~ especially pastors who commit adultery or some other sort of sexual sin – accountable.

But no. They don’t.

This article says that this church knew about their preacher’s adultery (even the previous one), and asked him to keep it hush-hush.

Unbelievable.

What is that verse from the Bible, again?: “God is shamed and judged negatively among the Gentiles because of your behavior.” -or something like that.

Okay, take that verse and reword it slightly to, “God is shamed and judged harshly among the Non-Christians because of your behavior,” and I think that would apply.

Do these churches and people claiming the name of Jesus Christ not care at all about what Jesus taught?

Do churches today and Christians not care about Christian ethics and morality, about doing the right thing, even if doing so may be unpopular?

How can anyone who claims to be a Jesus-follower be so causal about following His teachings?

Note that this other woman he had an affair with is MARRIED.

That’s right, Christians like to depict SINGLE women as the threats to married men, when here we have married people cheating on their spouses with OTHER MARRIED PEOPLE.

(Link): Coral Ridge Elders Knew of Tullian Tchividjian’s Affair With Married Woman, Advised Him to Keep Secret, Source Alleges 

• BY LEONARDO BLAIR , CHRISTIAN POST REPORTER
• March 18, 2016|4:07 pm

• At least two elders at Coral Ridge Presbyterian Church in Florida allegedly had knowledge that their former pastor, Tullian Tchividjian, grandson to evangelical icon Billy Graham, had engaged in an adulterous affair with a married member of his flock and advised him to keep it secret from his wife.

  Reacting to a (Link): report in The Christian Post Thursday that Tchividjian was fired by Willow Creek Church in Winter Springs, Florida, after they were blindsided by his latest confession, a highly placed source informed CP Friday that the recent disclosure is really the result of a “systemic cover up” by church leaders that began two years ago.

  “Tullian had actually been confronted about that two years ago. At the time, he was confronted by two elders at Coral Ridge and Steve Brown (Key Life Ministries), and confessed to having a relationship with a married woman,” said the source.

  “At the time, he was not advised to step down as lead pastor, but instead was advised not to immediately inform his wife about the matter — she only learned about this last week. To make matters worse, the two elders never informed the rest of the session about this situation. One can only wonder whether the second situation could have been averted if the first situation had not been covered up,” the source continued.

  “This is not a situation that Tullian had kept quiet and suddenly disclosed to someone for the first time last week. It’s been known by at least three others in addition to Tullian and the woman involved for over two years,” the source added.

60 Year Old Lady Contracted Herpes from Cheating Husband

60 Year Old Lady Contracted Herpes from Cheating Husband

Another example of how it can pay off to be single and celibate. Letter to advice columnist Ask Amy.

Jan 2016:

• Dear Amy:
• I am a 60-year-old divorced woman. My cheating ex-husband gave me herpes. Because of this I have been reluctant to date.
• I have visited a website for people with similar conditions but didn’t find it acceptable. My question is, at what point in a relationship do you tell a potential partner that you have a sexually transmitted disease?
• Signed,
• Full of Fear and Loathing
• Dear Full of Fear and Loathing:
• I hope you will find a way to shed the stigma of having this STD, which is quite common (estimates are that 1 in 6 adults have genital herpes, though many don’t know it). You have done nothing wrong.

Preacher Stole Five Figures From Church To Pay off Young Mistress

Preacher Stole Five Figures From Church To Pay off Young Mistress

The article says he’s a married guy who was a preacher at a church.

So much for the Christian “be equally yoked” teaching, or the idea that married sex is so rewarding and fulfilling that married people won’t sexually stray.

(Link):  Missouri pastor stole more than $21,000 from church to pay hush money to young mistress: police by T. Gettys

• A Missouri pastor is accused of stealing more than $21,000 from his church to pay off his 20-year-old mistress.
• Ralph Sawyer was charged with a felony count of theft after prosecutors said he ripped off money from Lindsay Lane Missionary Baptist Church in Florissant, where he served as a pastor, (Link): reported KSDK-TV.
• Prosecutors said the church treasurer discovered money missing from the congregation’s savings account and launched an investigation — which revealed Sawyer had used his church-issued ATM card to make 35 withdrawals in June and July totaling $21,727.50.
• The 30-year-old Sawyer resigned Aug. 11 and turned himself in to police Sept. 1.

  Police said Sawyer admitted to beginning an extramarital affair with the woman in March, and he began paying her to keep quiet about the relationship after she began asking for money.

  Sawyer, who goes by “Drew,” remains held on a $25,000 cash-only bond.

———————————-

Related Posts:

(Link): Preacher Found Guilty of Murdering His Second Wife, Probably Killed The First One, He Had Affair With Vulnerable, Grieving Woman at His Church

(Link): Married Christian Preacher and Mistress Try to Kill Wife – Married Christians not more stable, mature, or godly than Singles

(Link): (Married) Pastor Busted in Prostitution Sting – If Married Sex So Great Why Do So Many Married Christian Men Have Affairs

(Link): Pastor charged in wife’s murder was headed to Europe to marry boyfriend, prosecutor says – Single Xtian Ladies: Kick that Be Equally Yoked Teaching to the Curb! Also: Marriage and Parenthood do not make people more godly or mature or loving or ethical

Millions of Adulterers Could be Exposed as Cheaters’ Social Network (Dating Site) Ashley Madison Faces Data Breach

Millions of adulterers could be exposed as cheaters’ social network Ashley Madison faces data breach

(August 2015 update below)

This is another one of those times I’m glad I’ve never married.

If I were married, I don’t see myself committing adultery – unless the husband I’m married to is abusive, or the marriage is dead and dying.

There would have to be some pretty serious problems going on in a marriage before I’d consider committing adultery. I’m not the sort who would willy nilly run around cheating, or join a site for married cheaters.

Also, if it came down to me being tempted to cheat over something like my husband (if I had one) “let himself go” and became really large or unattractive, I think I would level with him about it, divorce him over it, and remarry – rather than have an affair.

The dating site “Cougar Life” was also hacked one article said. I think I’d feel too embarrassed to join a site like “Cougar Life” (it’s a site for older women to hook up with younger guys). Not that I support “May December” relationships anyway.

(Link):  Cheating website Ashley Madison has been hacked and customer details leaked

(Link):  Hackers threaten to reveal Ashley Madison cheaters

• A group of hackers who call themselves The Impact Team have threatened to expose the identities of the tens of millions of people who use hookup website Ashley Madison.
• The controversial website, which uses the tagline “Life is Short. Have an affair”, provides a matchmaking service for people already in relationships. It has more than 37 million anonymous members.

(Link):  Ashley Madison hacked: Attackers threaten to name and shame more than one million British love rats

(Link):  Hackers Threaten to Expose 37 Million Cheating AshleyMadison Users

(Link):  Hackers are threatening to out millions of users of Ashley Madison, the dating site for married cheaters

• Ashley Madison, the infidelity-focused matchmaking site whose slogan is “Life is short. Have an affair,” was the target of a huge hack this weekend, and hackers are threatening to reveal data related to the accounts of millions of members.
• The hack, which was reported by Krebs on Security, appears to have breached “sensitive internal data” from Avid Life Media (ALM), Ashley Madison’s Toronto-based parent company. The hacker or hackers, who go by the name “The Impact Team,” stole “maps of internal company servers, employee network account information, company bank account data and salary information,” in addition to information relating to 40 million users of Ashley Madison and its sister sites, Cougar Life and Established Men.
• According to Krebs on Security, some amount of Ashley Madison account data has already been published online. In a message posted online, the Impact Team took credit for the hack, and threatened to publish more information every day until its demands — a complete and permanent takedown of Ashley Madison and Established Men — were met.
• “We’ve got the complete set of profiles in our DB dumps, and we’ll release them soon if Ashley Madison stays online,” the hackers wrote. “And with over 37 million members, mostly from the US and Canada, a significant percentage of the population is about to have a very bad day, including many rich and powerful people.”
• …Ashley Madison, which drew national attention for its provocative ads, has become the largest online matchmaking site designed to facilitate infidelity. It’s safe to say that the vast majority of those users expected their profiles to remain secure and anonymous, and would be horrified if their names and other account details came to light.

(Link): Millions of adulterers could be exposed as cheaters’ social network Ashley Madison faces data breach 

• July 2015Ashley Madison, a social network for adulterers, has been hacked by an individual or group that’s also begun posting users’ personal data online, according to security blog Krebs on Security.The site, which claims to have over 37 million users, told Krebs on Security that it was working to take down leaked data, including account details of users apparently sampled at random.

  An individual or group of hackers calling itself The Impact Team has claimed responsibility for the attack. In a manifesto posted along with the stolen user information, it said that it decided to publish the leaked data in response to alleged lies Avid Life Media (ALM; the company that owns Ashley Madison, as well as hookup sites Cougar Life and Established Men) told its customers about a $19 fee for completely erasing their profiles.

  The Impact Team said that the ‘full delete’ feature didn’t actually wipe profiles as advertised and that it brought ALM $1.7 million in revenue last year.

August 2015 update

(Link):  Hackers dump data from cheating website Ashley Madison online: reports

• Hackers have followed through on a threat to release online a huge cache of data, including customer information, that was stolen a month ago from cheating spouses website AshleyMadison.com, several tech websites reported on Tuesday.
• Reuters was not immediately able to confirm the authenticity of the posting. The data was posted onto the dark web, meaning it is only accessible using a specialized browser, although vast lists of hundreds of email addresses including many linked to corporations and universities sprouted up on other sites hours after the news broke.
• The hackers, who call themselves The Impact Team, leaked snippets of the compromised data in July and threatened to publish names and salacious details of as many as 37 million customers unless Ashley Madison and EstablishedMen.com, another site owned by Toronto-based parent company Avid Life Media, were taken down.

—————————–

Related Posts:

(Link):   My husband forgot Mother’s Day flowers, so I had sex with someone else – New York Post Says Number of Married Women Applying on Cheater Site Ashley Madison Increases After Mother’s Day 

Link):  ‘It’s a break from the kids’: Why parents cheat more than childless couples

(Link): You May Be Surprised How Many Born-Again Christians Use Ashley Madison (web site for married cheaters); story from Huffington Post

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Lifelong Celibacy as an Option for All Instead of Merely Pressuring All to Marry – vis a vis Sexless Marriages, Counselors Who Tell Marrieds that Having Affairs Can Help their Marriages

(Link): Why Christians Need to Uphold Chastity / Celibacy For All People Even Married Couples Not Just Teens

My husband forgot Mother’s Day flowers, so I had sex with someone else – New York Post Says Number of Married Women Applying on Cheater Site Ashley Madison Increases After Mother’s Day

My husband forgot Mother’s Day flowers, so I had sex with someone else – New York Post Says Number of Married Women Applying on Cheater Site Ashley Madison Increases After Mother’s Day 

In light of stories like this one below, HOW can conservative Christians, Republicans, and my fellow social conservatives continue to insist that “the family” is the bedrock of society, that marriage is necessary for keeping social fiber intact, or that marriage instills qualities such as godliness and maturity in a person?

Notice also that the cheating woman in this story got married to her husband while she was in her mid-20s, which is the age at which conservatives and Christians (and including the ones who promote “early marriage”) say a man and woman should marry, but this very fact – her marrying in her 20s – is what contributed in part to this woman feeling bad about herself, about her marriage, and why she says she cheated on her husband.

(Link): My husband forgot Mother’s Day flowers, so I had sex with someone else

• by Jane Ridley
• May 2, 2015
• The adulterers website Ashley Madison is expecting a massive 500 percent spike in sign-ups from women on the day after Mother’s Day.
• According to its data, there was a 442 percent increase in sign-ups (compared to the daily norm) after last year’s holiday, following an upward trend since 2010.
• So what drives a woman to commit adultery after spending time with her family on Mother’s Day? Ann, a 42-year-old finance worker from Bergen County, NJ, who asked The Post not to use her last name, tells Jane Ridley her cheating story.
• Opening the Mother’s Day card last year from my husband, Derek*, my heart sank. We’d been married for more than 15 years, and I was the mom of his two young children — but he hadn’t even thought to buy me flowers, let alone jewelry.

• The whole run-up to Mother’s Day had been depressing. It made me feel old, like I was losing my sexiness. My marriage was stuck in a rut.

• We’d gotten hitched when I was in my mid-20s. Things were great at first, but they started to fall apart almost as soon as our kids arrived.

• Derek is only 48, but he might as well be in his 70s — he’s always tired and unmotivated. We have sex about once a week, though it’s hardly passionate. I never orgasm and just go through the motions.

• So, the day after Mother’s Day, I set up a profile on the cheaters’ website Ashley Madison.

  I’d had a bit to drink and was feeling flirtatious, so I wrote how I was a voluptuous brunette looking to have an affair.

• Within minutes, I had responses from several guys, including a man called Tom with three children. He was 42, worked in the medical field and his marriage was even more dysfunctional than mine. He wasn’t having sex with his wife at all.

Stupid Things Naive Christians Say (About Adultery, Divorce) from Divorce Minister Blog

Stupid Things Naive Christians Say (About Adultery, Divorce) from Divorce Minister Blog

If you’ve spent any time on this blog, you know I’ve never been married. Nonetheless, I am sometimes interested in articles about divorce and how and why marriages end in ruins, and how churches support – or, as is usually the case, fail miserably to support – people who are getting divorced.

Just as most evangelical and Baptist Christians are horrid, naive, and / or insensitive at comforting or advising adult, never married and/or celibate singles, so too, it appears, they are just as horrible about helping or advising divorced people. Read on (just some excerpts here, not the whole post):

(Link): Stupid Things Naive Christians Say (About Adultery, Divorce)

Remember, this is only a partial list, as I do not want to copy the entire page to my blog:

• Stupid Things Naive Christians Say To Faithful Spouses:
• “There’s always two sides to a story.”
  • Response: I am curious–what story could someone possibly tell that makes committing adultery okay in the eyes of God?

  “God hates divorce.”

  • Response: God may hate divorce, but He hates sin and adultery more. God divorces Israel over her repeated adulteries after all.

  “It’s a headship problem.”

  • Response: No, you’re confused. It’s a sin problem–as in in “Thou shalt not commit adultery” sin problem

Married Virgin Asexual Woman Allows Her Husband To Have Sex with Other Women – Why Christians Need to Emphasize Sexual Self Control For Everyone, Not Just Teen Girls

The married virgin ‘repulsed’ by sex who encourages her ‘perfect’ husband to sleep with escorts while helping him to find a live-in lover

Asexuals are not the same thing as celibates. Asexuals either experience little sexual desire, or none. Celibates experience sexual urges but chose not to act upon them, or cannot, if they are single and believe sex prior to marriage is wrong.

I find it sad I need to explain this up front, but many Christians are very ignorant about celibacy and often confuse it with asexuality: they assume that celibates and virgins over 30 have no sexual desire or urges, or, many Christians assume that celibates find staying celibate easy breezy, that God has “gifted” older virgins so that the older virgin experiences no interest in or desire for sex – which is a wrong view. Totally wrong.

This also goes to show that married sex is not, as Christians teach, “mind blowing.” Christians try to offer incentives to people to stay virgins until marriage, one of which is, “Once you marry, the sex will be frequent and awesome.”

In this article, you have a virgin woman who is also asexual. She wants male companionship minus sexual activity, so she is allowing her husband to have sex with other women.

This is yet another reason why Christians need to emphasize that sexual self control and celibacy is for everyone, even married people, not just for teen-aged girls – but Christians, when they do bother to address the issues of virginity and sexual self control – often only frame it in terms of teen-aged girls. They do not usually remind married couples that they too need to practice sexual self-restraint.

I would also like to remind Christians that married couples do in fact engage in sexual sin. Often times, Christians think that marriage is a cure-all for sexual sin, that if only people marry and marry by the time they are 25 years old, that the couple will not fall into sexual sin.

Christians seem to assume that any and all un-married adults over the age of 25 or 30 are having hot panther sex with a different person every week, which is not so. Yes, our culture is sex saturated, and there is a lot of pre-marital boinking going on, but at the same time, there are people who are sexually abstaining.

The people who are over 25 and 30 and older -who are celibate or who are virgins- could use examples of themselves on television, in sermons, and in books, so they can see they are not alone, so they can have figures in the culture that represent their lifestyle who they can relate to.

Adult celibates and virgins could maybe use some encouragement at remaining chaste, but Christians give them none. All of the Christian community’s energy is directed at supporting “the nuclear family,” and defending “traditional marriage” from homosexual marriage advocates. There is next to no effort at giving practical or emotional support to adult celibates and adult virgins.

(Link) The married virgin ‘repulsed’ by sex who encourages her ‘perfect’ husband to sleep with escorts while helping him to find a live-in lover

As to the news story above. I do not agree with adultery (or “open marriages”) even if both partners agree to it or know about it in advance. I have posted several stories on this blog of married couples who “allow” their partner to cheat on them, or who are “swingers.” This whole thing is awful and makes a mockery out of marriage.

Excerpts from the article.

Asexual Woman Repulsed By Sex Allows Her Spouse to Sleep with Escorts

• By GEORGINA BISVAL FOR DAILYMAIL.COM
• PUBLISHED: 13:25 EST, 13 March 2015 | UPDATED: 14:41 EST, 13 March 2015
• Erica Holloway, 30, has known that she was asexual since the age of 15
• She and husband Andrew, 30, have been married since 2012 but have never had sex
• IT consultant Andrew has slept with ten other women, including a number of professional escorts, since he married Erica  
• In the one and a half years they have been married Andrew and Erica Holloway have never argued, have no secrets and are more in love today than the moment they met.
• Yet incredibly this Melbourne-based couple, both aged 30, have never consummated their marriage – and Erica admits that she has no intention of ever doing so.
• For while Andrew would love to rip his wife’s clothes off, Erica is in fact still a virgin and reveals to the Daily Mail Online that the very idea of making love to her husband is a complete turn off rather than a turn on.

• ‘I wish I wanted to have sex with my husband,’ Erica, a graphic designer, explains.

  ‘But I don’t and I know I never will as, while I love him, the idea of sex repulses me.

  ‘We are still very affectionate with each other and love to hold hands and kiss and cuddle, but that’s as far as I could ever go.

  ‘People might think our marriage would be a disaster because of this, but we are as happy now as the day we met.’

  She added that she has known since the age of 15 that she was asexual, after realizing she had never felt sexually attracted to anyone.