Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

I believe I first saw this link on Melanie Notkin’s Twitter:

(Link):  Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

Excerpts:

  • I’m a PANK. Yeah, you’re reading that right. I’m a PANK, a Professional Aunt No Kids.
  • ….I recently shared something on my personal Facebook page that reads, “I’m tired of hearing, ‘When are you going to get married and have kids?’ Let me tell you, I could have done that already and chose not to.

Continue reading “Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes”

James Dobson’s Flawed Take on Population Decline (no.1: We’re Not in Decline) by T. Grant

James Dobson’s Flawed Take on Population Decline (no.1: We’re Not in Decline) by T. Grant

As this report notes (link is much farther down this blog page), more pressure is placed on WOMEN to marry and have children than is placed on MEN.

I know that culture and Christians can treat single / celibate / childless men like trash, but they are TEN TIMES worse on Christian WOMEN in these regards.

Women get far more pressured to marry and have kids than men do or ever will.

Women get more shamed and insulted by Christians (and at times, secular culture) for staying single, celibate, and childless than males ever are.

Just because most women are capable of carrying a baby inside them, society and churches think it’s their DUTY to have a baby (as though women serve no other purpose in life), and if they choose to opt out (or cannot have a kid), they are still marginalized or insulted for it.

Men don’t face nearly as much insult or pressure to have kids as women do.

I am right of center – but I agree with this left wing (liberal) guy that other right wingers such as Dobson’s real goal is to be against what he perceives as liberal threats to the church or culture. That is one very real motivator some right wingers have, in why they do things like harass women to have children.

I also want to say how utterly moronic I find this approach by Dobson.

Continue reading “James Dobson’s Flawed Take on Population Decline (no.1: We’re Not in Decline) by T. Grant”

A Woman’s Fertility is Her Own Business, not Everyone Else’s by L. Bates

A Woman’s Fertility is Her Own Business, not Everyone Else’s by L. Bates

I may have blogged on this before. I apologize if this is a repeat. I’m pretty sure I already read this, or something very similar to it, about a month ago, and I may have blogged on this before.

(Link): A Woman’s Fertility is Her Own Business, not Everyone Else’s by L. Bates

Excerpts (I have a few comments to make below this long series of excerpts):

  • We obsess over fertility as if women are slot machines who simply need to be primed and pumped at the optimal socially acceptable moment for a baby to shoot out like a prize
  • When Michigan-based writer Emily Bingham took to her Facebook page to vent her frustration at intrusive baby questions, she probably expected a few of her friends to share or “like” her post. Accompanied by an ultrasound photo she had found online, (Link): her post implored:
  • Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family … before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works … before you ask a single thirtysomething if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock’s ticking … just stop.

    Please stop.

    You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues.

    You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right. You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids.

    You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever. You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration.

    But instead of reaching a few dozen of her friends, Bingham’s post went viral, shared by more than 77,000 people and liked by more than 42,000. It’s not surprising that Bingham’s message struck such a chord.

Continue reading “A Woman’s Fertility is Her Own Business, not Everyone Else’s by L. Bates”

My husband forgot Mother’s Day flowers, so I had sex with someone else – New York Post Says Number of Married Women Applying on Cheater Site Ashley Madison Increases After Mother’s Day

My husband forgot Mother’s Day flowers, so I had sex with someone else – New York Post Says Number of Married Women Applying on Cheater Site Ashley Madison Increases After Mother’s Day 

In light of stories like this one below, HOW can conservative Christians, Republicans, and my fellow social conservatives continue to insist that “the family” is the bedrock of society, that marriage is necessary for keeping social fiber intact, or that marriage instills qualities such as godliness and maturity in a person?

Notice also that the cheating woman in this story got married to her husband while she was in her mid-20s, which is the age at which conservatives and Christians (and including the ones who promote “early marriage”) say a man and woman should marry, but this very fact – her marrying in her 20s – is what contributed in part to this woman feeling bad about herself, about her marriage, and why she says she cheated on her husband.

(Link): My husband forgot Mother’s Day flowers, so I had sex with someone else

  • by Jane Ridley
  • May 2, 2015
  • The adulterers website Ashley Madison is expecting a massive 500 percent spike in sign-ups from women on the day after Mother’s Day.
  • According to its data, there was a 442 percent increase in sign-ups (compared to the daily norm) after last year’s holiday, following an upward trend since 2010.
  • So what drives a woman to commit adultery after spending time with her family on Mother’s Day? Ann, a 42-year-old finance worker from Bergen County, NJ, who asked The Post not to use her last name, tells Jane Ridley her cheating story.
  • Opening the Mother’s Day card last year from my husband, Derek*, my heart sank. We’d been married for more than 15 years, and I was the mom of his two young children — but he hadn’t even thought to buy me flowers, let alone jewelry.
  • The whole run-up to Mother’s Day had been depressing. It made me feel old, like I was losing my sexiness. My marriage was stuck in a rut.

  • We’d gotten hitched when I was in my mid-20s. Things were great at first, but they started to fall apart almost as soon as our kids arrived.

  • Derek is only 48, but he might as well be in his 70s — he’s always tired and unmotivated. We have sex about once a week, though it’s hardly passionate. I never orgasm and just go through the motions.

  • So, the day after Mother’s Day, I set up a profile on the cheaters’ website Ashley Madison.

    I’d had a bit to drink and was feeling flirtatious, so I wrote how I was a voluptuous brunette looking to have an affair.

  • Within minutes, I had responses from several guys, including a man called Tom with three children. He was 42, worked in the medical field and his marriage was even more dysfunctional than mine. He wasn’t having sex with his wife at all.

Continue reading “My husband forgot Mother’s Day flowers, so I had sex with someone else – New York Post Says Number of Married Women Applying on Cheater Site Ashley Madison Increases After Mother’s Day”

Maryland: Woman Charged For Contaminating Her Family’s Milk With Dead Skin Shavings From Her Feet – Happy Mother’s Day 2015

Maryland: Woman Charged For Contaminating Her Family’s Milk With Dead Skin Shavings From Her Feet  – Happy Mother’s Day 2015

I can’t say as though I plan on making Mother’s Day related posts every year. I just saw this and it fit – and I believe Mother’s Day is tomorrow.

You can see my previous posts on how terrible Mother’s Day is for people who are infertile, for women who never married, etc., and how churches wrongly hype motherhood year round only to make it worse on Mother’s Day.

Evangelical Christians like to teach that becoming a parent automatically confers godliness and maturity on to a person, but it does not.

Evangelical Christians, in addition to other types of conservative Christians, like to point to getting married and/or having children as markers of maturity, when the Bible itself does no such thing.

Jesus never married, never had children, but I doubt many Christians would consider Jesus an irresponsible, selfish, backwards, dolt, yet they do this constantly with the followers of Jesus who never marry, or who are childless or childfree.

Here’s yet another example of how motherhood or marriage does not make a person more honest, godly, loving, or mature (the woman in this story is a mother, I think, and I believe married, too. I could be wrong, though, as the story does not explain who “family” is… these could be her aunts or nephews – most of the time, culture and reporters equate the word “family” to mean “married person who has kids”):

(Link):  Woman ‘put dead skin shavings from her feet in her family’s milk’

(Link): Maryland: Woman Charged For Contaminating Her Family’s Milk With Dead Skin Shavings From Her Feet 

  • Sarah P. Schrock, 56 of Mechanicsville, Maryland, was arrested on Wednesday. The charges against her are connected to an incident where she served her family milk that she contaminated with dead skin shavings from her feet.
  • The Mechanicsville woman was jailed in lieu of 10 percent of a $10,000 bond related to food contamination, as well as second-degree assault on Allison Depriest and Jessica Whitney Hurry during an incident at her home located off of Golden Beach Road.
  • According to the Southern Maryland Newspaper Online, Schrock was home alone until around dinner time when Hurry and Depriest arrived. Schrock served milk with dinner. Depriest began to choke and coughed up what appeared to be human skin.
  • Court papers state that Hurry also gagged while drinking the milk. An unnamed witness found dead skin in the milk after pouring it into a strainer.

Continue reading “Maryland: Woman Charged For Contaminating Her Family’s Milk With Dead Skin Shavings From Her Feet – Happy Mother’s Day 2015”

The Childless Millennial

The Childless Millennial

I am normally loathe to publish anything on millennials, because the media never shuts up about them (and Baby Boomers). But, I see shades of this in older generations too.

(Link): The Childless Millennial

  • A new report finds that today’s twentysomethings have a lower birthrate than any previous generation.
  • ….It’s no wonder Millennial audiences relate to the show so well: Today’s twentysomething women have been slower to have children than any previous generation.
  • ….In a new report, the Urban Institute think tank writes that in 2012, there were only 948 births per 1,000 women in their 20s, “by far the slowest pace of any generation of young women in U.S. history.” In 2007, the rate was 1,118 births per 1,000.
  • The decline in births was largest among Hispanic women, at 26 percent, followed by black women, at 14 percent, and an 11 percent drop for white women.
  • The researchers put forward a few theories for the decrease.
  • One is the Great Recession, which might have hit pause on pregnancy plans because babies are, among other things, expensive. Past studies have estimated that the recession led to a 2.4 percent decrease in the fertility rate, or about 426,850 live births. The recession also slowed the trickle of immigrants to the U.S., and immigrants tend to have more children.
  • … For white women, though, the story was very different: “81 percent of the decrease in fertility is attributable to declining marriage rates.” (Granted, white women were less likely to be single mothers to begin with.) All the single ladies of countless Internet essays are, indeed, staying unhitched—and they’re not having kids as a result.
  • …The report authors say they don’t know whether Millennial women will eventually catch up in childbearing like women who lived through past recessions did.Overall, the report paints a positive picture for women of color and a neutral one for white women. On one hand, women might be enjoying living carefree and childless into their 30s.

Why Women Aren’t Having Children – from The Atlantic

Why Women Aren’t Having Children – from The Atlantic

(Link): Why Women Aren’t Having Children – from The Atlantic

Excerpts:

  • As detailed in essays by 16 different writers, both male and female: because they don’t want to, and because not wanting to is perfectly reasonable
  • by Sophie Gilbert
  • Pope Francis is widely believed to be a cool Pope—a huggable, Upworthyish, meme-ready, self-deprecating leader for a new generation of worshippers. “He has described himself as a sinner,” writes Archbishop Desmond Tutu in Pope Francis’ entry on Time’s list of the 100 most influential people in the world,  “and his nonjudgmental views on … issues such as sexual orientation and divorce have brought hope to millions of Roman Catholics around the world.”
  • But there’s one issue that can make even Cool Pope Francis himself sound a little, well, judgy. “A society with a greedy generation, that doesn’t want to surround itself with children, that considers them above all worrisome, a weight, a risk, is a depressed society,” the pontiff told an audience in St. Peter’s Square earlier this year. “The choice not to have children is selfish. Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: It is enriched, not impoverished.”
  • Ignore the irony of a man who’s celibate by choice delivering a lecture on the sacred duty of procreating, and focus instead on his use of the word “selfish.” This particular descriptor is both the word most commonly associated with people who decide not to have children, and part of the title of a new collection of essays, Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed, by 16 different writers (both female and male) who fall into exactly that category.
  • While the association appears to be so deeply embedded in the collective psyche that it’d take dynamite to shift it, if the book reveals anything, it’s that there’s an awful lot more to not wanting children than the impulse to put oneself first.

Continue reading “Why Women Aren’t Having Children – from The Atlantic”

Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians

Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians

I don’t normally discuss atheism a lot on my blog, though I do sometimes write posts about my quasi-agnostic status, but I couldn’t help but notice this phenomenon.

My time on Twitter has taught me that some atheists – especially the ones with an irrational hatred of all things theist, especially Christianity – are just as stupid, prejudiced, or narrow-minded about adult singleness and celibacy and adult virginity, as are many Protestant Evangelical Christians, and other types of Christians.

Liberal, progressive, and feminist Christians are also biased against adult celibates and celibacy itself, as are secular, left wing feminists.

I normally don’t usually go looking for fights with total strangers on Twitter.

A few days ago, I was looking for Tweets with the hash tag “single” or “celibate.” You never know if you do what may turn up – you may come across some links to some good articles that way.

In the midst of skimming the tweets with the “celibate” hash tag, I saw two tweets that were very dismissive of celibacy, by two different people, one apparently an atheist, and I think the other guy was an atheist as well.

I was polite in my replies to their Tweets. I was not rude. I didn’t insult either one.

I heard back from both guys.

One guy was definitely an atheist, and I’m not sure about the second guy – though I think he was atheist too, or maybe agnostic.

The second guy wasn’t so bad. He was cordial, so there wasn’t much back and forth with him.

However, first atheist guy, with the handle @atheistic_1, either tagged his buddies in the exchange, or of their own volition, they started to chip in.

The other guys were @JeffMunroe51 and a @lobsterchin.

I don’t remember the JeffM guy being too obnoxious, and he tried to bow out of the discussion after awhile.

The lobsterchin guy began acting like a jackass, and I banned him after a few tweets.

First off, these jokers assumed I was a man. I had to correct them on that.

These atheists who were tweeting me, particularly the “atheistic_1” guy, do not understand biblical views on celibacy or singleness or natalism any more than most Christians do.

As a matter of fact, the atheist and his Twitter buddies sounded remarkably like the ignorant conservative, Reformed, Baptist, fundamentalist, and evangelical Christians whose writings about celibacy, virginity, and singleness I have been regularly criticizing and correcting on this blog the last few years.

Continue reading “Some Atheists Are Just As Ignorant About Adult Singleness and Celibacy as Progressive Christians, Secular Feminists, and Protestant Evangelical or Conservative Christians”

Why Do We Still Have To Justify The Choice To Be Child-free? by H. Freeman

Why do we still have to justify the choice to be child-free? by H. Freeman

(Link): Why do we still have to justify the choice to be child-free? by H. Freeman

Excerpts.

  • April 8, 2015

Woman Left Quadriplegic Son in Woods in Philadelphia, Say Police

Woman Left Quadriplegic Son in Woods in Philadelphia, Say Police

And tell me again, evangelicals, Reformed, fundamentalists, and Baptists, considering news stories like the one linked to farther below, how parenthood automatically makes a person more godly, considerate, mature, and loving?

By the way, I would encourage you to visit my Twitter page (Link to my Twitter page) once in awhile, because I come across one or more stories like the one below at least weekly, but I don’t always have the time or interest to blog about each story here. (I find it easier to Tweet these types of stories on Twitter than make blog entries for each and every one.)

A lot of secular and Christian people assume that people who are childless or childfree are not fully mature, or are selfish. The woman below is a mother, but she dumped her 21 year old paralyzed son off in the woods for one or two weeks to go visit her boyfriend.

So excuse me, just because a woman never gives birth or never adopts does not mean she is a selfish, horrible person – I’ve never had a child, but I sure as hell would NOT dump a paralyzed or mentally impaired child off in the woods. Or hell, even if the child was NOT mentally impaired and had no health problems, I would STILL not do something this vile and selfish.

Being a parent does not confer certain positive qualifies on someone, such as being giving, loving, and godly.

(Link): Woman Left Quadriplegic Son in Woods in Philadelphia, Say Police

  • April 12, 2015 08:23 IST
  • PHILADELPHIA:  A mother abandoned her quadriplegic son in a wooded area of a Philadelphia park for nearly a week so she could visit her boyfriend in Maryland, police said.

    The 21-year-old disabled man was found by a passerby on Friday night lying on leaves and covered by blankets with his wheelchair and Bible nearby, said Philadelphia police Lieutenant John Walker.

    Police said the man who was abandoned in the woods is unable to talk and suffers from cerebral palsy.

  • …The man was taken to a Philadelphia hospital to be treated for dehydration and malnutrition.

More U.S. Women Are Going Childless (2015 Report)

More U.S. Women Are Going Childless (2015 Report)

(Link): More U.S. Women Are Going Childless (2015 Report)

  • The percentage of U.S. women in their 30s and 40s who are childless is rising, new data from the U.S. Census Bureau show.
  • Some 15.3% of U.S. women aged 40 to 44 were childless in June 2014, up from 15.1% in 2012.
  • (Link): Changes in Census’s data processing likely affected its estimates for 2010 to 2012. But even before that, the trend was up: 9.6% of women in this age group were childless in 2010, up from 9.2% in 2008.
  • For women in their late 30s, the rise in childlessness is sharper. Around 18.5% of women 35 to 39 were childless last June, up from 17.2% in 2012.
  • All told, 47.6% of U.S. women aged 15 to 44 were without children last year, up from 46.5% in 2012.

Continue reading “More U.S. Women Are Going Childless (2015 Report)”

Talking to Meghan Daum About Selfishness, Being Childless by Choice – and how secular society idolizes parenthood and the nuclear family

Talking to Meghan Daum About Selfishness, Being Childless by Choice

It’s not just Southern Baptists and evangelical Christians who have turned the nuclear family into an idol – secular society does so as well. This interview discusses that topic, among others.

(Link): Talking to Meghan Daum About Selfishness, Being Childless by Choice

Excerpts

  • … By email, Daum and I discussed everything from why childless-by-choice people are often forced to produce a “why?” for the (sometimes) well-intentioned crowd who demand an explanation for their decision to not procreate; the hubbub around egg freezing; what drives people to remain child-free; and why the phrase “child-free” itself needs to be retired.

Continue reading “Talking to Meghan Daum About Selfishness, Being Childless by Choice – and how secular society idolizes parenthood and the nuclear family”

Mother Had Own Daughter Raped To Pay For Drugs

Mother Had Own Daughter Raped To Pay For Drugs

In the last few weeks, I’ve not been posting too much at this blog. During this time, I’ve seen several news stories of parents who have raped or murdered their own children, sometimes because they have mental problems, or they are selling the kid for drugs, or what have you. I don’t have time to blog on all those stories (I’d advise you to visit (Link): my Twitter page for the latest marriage, dating, and abuse stories.)

Social conservatives (of which I am one myself, though I don’t agree with them on every topic) and conservative Christians have repeatedly suggested or claimed that being a parent (or being married) matures a person, is more representational of God, and makes a person more loving and responsible. Here is another story which shows all that is biased hog-wash.

(Link): Mother Had Own Daughter Raped to Pay For Drugs

  • Thirty-year-old mom April Corcoran allegedly had her daughter (Link): raped in order to pay for heroin. Those are the charges made by Ohio prosecutors after indicting her on 27 felony counts.
  •  Those counts include “complicity in rape, complicity in gross sexual imposition, endangering children, and human trafficking,” according to the Cincinnati website.
  • Corcoran pleaded not guilty to the charges on Thursday, but is being held on a $5 million bond.

    There were two individual instances of rape for heroin, prosecutors say, claiming that one occurred in February 2014 and the other a few months later in June.

    The daughter of April Corcoran, who was not named for her own safety and protection, was reportedly just 11 years old at the time when her mom allegedly dropped her off at the home of a 41-year-old accused drug dealer named Shandell Willingham.

    A report from USA Today reveals that Willingham will face one less charge than Corcoran (26). Among those charges: human trafficking, rape, and allegedly videotaping himself raping the little girl multiple times.

    In comments to WCPO TV, Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters called the case “sad beyond measure,” adding that instead of protecting her child, April Corcoran “saw her as a way to get drugs because the lure of heroin was apparently too strong.”

Sounds like Christian Patriarchy or Extreme Christian Gender Complementarians – Iran aims to ban contraception and stop childless women from getting jobs

Sounds like Christian Patriarchy or Extreme Christian Gender Complementarians – Iran aims to ban contraception and stop childless women from getting jobs 

(Link): Iran aims to ban contraception and stop childless women from getting jobs 

This is quite similar to some Christians, who push early marriage and baby-making for everyone in America. I have more posts about it (please see the “related posts” section at the bottom of this post for those links).

I bet Southern Baptists, Reconstructionsists, and other types of Christians wish they could enforce this on American women.

I used to be a Southern Baptist, and I still have pretty traditional values, but, some Southern Baptists and other right wingers are way more strident than I am on some topics, and some of them are more severe.

This article mentions that this ban – which is obnoxious and sexist to start with – would also penalize women who are UNABLE (due to physical issues) to have babies.

See, this comes up among conservatives and Christians in the United States constantly – they tend to automatically assume that if a woman is still single past age 30 or 35, and is childless, that she deliberately chose to not marry and chose not to have children.

Please realize I have nothing against women who choose to forgo marriage and/or children. I do not have a problem with those choices.

However, I am someone who had wanted to marry but never met Mr. Right, so I am still single in my 40s. I never cared one way or another if I ever had a child or not, but I wasn’t intentionally avoiding having one. If I had a kid, it would have to be while I was married – if I don’t have a spouse, I cannot have a kid.

I find it very insulting when I read articles and editorials by Christians (especially Southern Baptists) who immediately assume that every last unmarried (or childless) woman is single (or childless) due to deliberate choice, or from being too picky when younger –

Christians – and Republicans and social conservatives – often assume that women get hundreds of marriage proposals by the time they are 30 years old but turned them all down, because they were too demanding and refused to marry a man unless he had the income of Bill Gates and the looks of actor Brad Pitt.

I got one marriage proposal in my entire life, it was after I hit the age of 30, and I had to break up with that guy, and no other proposals have been forthcoming. It just makes me infuriated when so many other Republicans, social conservatives, and Christians assume I CHOSE to be single this long, when such has not been the case.

Continue reading “Sounds like Christian Patriarchy or Extreme Christian Gender Complementarians – Iran aims to ban contraception and stop childless women from getting jobs”

The Global Flight From the Family – from the WSJ

The Global Flight From the Family

This is from the WSJ. You might have to log in to read the whole thing. I visited their page three different times. The first two times, I was told to subscribe if I wanted to read it, on the third visit, I was granted full access.

As a celibate, middle aged, never married lady who never had kids, I don’t care if marriage rates are falling and people are refraining from having kids. This is another one of those panicked, hand-wringing editorials about how people are not marrying or having kids.

As Melanie Notkin pointed out on Twitter in regards to this WSJ editorial, not all people are deliberately choosing to delay marriage or avoid it altogether – there is a huge number of women who want to marry and have no idea why they’ve never been married.

Such women did not plan on being single and childless into their 30s and older, but there they are – and yet, they get blamed for it, by commentators who assume they intentionally avoided marriage and motherhood, for selfish reasons, or to worship career, or whatever.

These types of editorials almost never mention the scores of women who had planned and hoped on marrying (and/or having children), but it did not pan out for them because they never met a suitable partner.

(Link): The Global Flight From the Family 

Excerpts

  • Much the same has been taking place around East and Southeast Asia for at least a generation. From South Korea to Singapore, China is rimmed by countries where marriage is being postponed or, increasingly, forgone; where networks of extended kin are withering due to extreme sub-replacement fertility; and where childlessness is on the rise.
  • Nowadays about one-sixth of Japanese women in their mid-40s are still single, and about 30% of all women that age are childless. Twenty years hence, by Mr. Kaneko’s projections, 38% of all Japanese women in their mid-40s would be childless, and an even higher share—just over 50%—would never have grandchildren.
  • To be sure, unlike Europe and the U.S., Japan still severely stigmatizes childbearing outside marriage. Childlessness, on the other hand, is socially acceptable.
  • Japanese women are availing themselves of these new choices. Given recent trajectories, demographers Miho Iwasawa and Ryuichi Kaneko project that a Japanese woman born in 1990 stands less than even odds of getting married and staying married to age 50.
  • Contemporary Japanese women have lifestyle options that were unthinkable for their grandmothers, including divorce, separation, cohabitation and remaining single.
  • Lest one suspect that there is something about this phenomenon that is culturally specific to Western countries, we have Japan, whose fabled “Asian family values” are now largely a thing of the past.
  • But it is not primarily driven by the graying of European society, at least thus far: Over twice as many Danes under 65 are living alone as those over 65.
  • The rise of the one-person home coincides with population aging.

Continue reading “The Global Flight From the Family – from the WSJ”

Remaining childless can be wise and meaningful. The pope should know – by Gaby Hinsliff

Remaining childless can be wise and meaningful. The pope should know Gaby Hinsliff

Yes, the pope was at it again, shaming and criticizing people who are childless or child free. Here are one or two rebuttals.

(Link): Dear Pope Francis: Not having kids IS selfish … and that’s ok.

(Link): Remaining childless can be wise and meaningful. The pope should know by Gaby Hinsliff

Excerpts (if you want to read the entire piece, please use the link above)

  • Feb 2015

On Being Circumstantially Childless by A. Pearson

On Being Circumstantially Childless by A. Pearson

I never cared if I had children or not. What perturbs me about being childless (or childfree) is how women such as myself are treated as, or assumed to be, selfish, losers, failures, etc. This is also true of churches and Christians.

I’ve read of never married, childless women talk of walking into churches and treated rudely because they do not have children. I’ve had similar experiences in churches. Being childless isn’t bad… what’s bad is how people tend to treat you like a freak once they find out.

Men, by the way, very seldom get the same harassment over being childless as women do – not the same amount and not the same kind. Men seldom get hounded or pestered over if they have kids, or why do they not have them or don’t want any, etc.

(Link): On Being Circumstantially Childless by A. Pearson

Excerpts

  • They expected to have babies but found themselves at the end of their natural fertility without having done so. Perhaps it was due to prioritising work, study or travel. Maybe it was due to not having met someone they wanted to have children with.
  • Whatever the case, the impact of “unintended” or “circumstantial” childlessness on women’s lives needs to be more widely acknowledged, University of Canterbury researcher Dr Lois Tonkin says.

    “They are in the unusual position of being neither voluntarily childless nor involuntarily childless …  an unexpected consequence of other choices,” she says.

  • A GRIEF LIKE MOURNING

    Tonkin, who has a background in counselling, has written a thesis on the subject for a PhD in sociology, examining the experiences of 26 New Zealand women in their 30s and 40s who expected to have children but found themselves at the end of their natural fertility without having done so.

    “Circumstantially childless women very often grieve for the loss of the opportunity to become a mother and for some this grief is likened to the death of someone close,” she says.

    “My study participants often said they felt misunderstood, judged, unacknowledged, ignored and isolated by others around them. Many talked about feeling like a failure.”

Continue reading “On Being Circumstantially Childless by A. Pearson”

Newborn baby dies after mother ‘douses it in flammable liquid and sets it on fire’

Newborn baby dies after mother ‘douses it in flammable liquid and sets it on fire’

And some conservative Christians like to teach that becoming a parent is necessary to be loving, responsible, mature and godly.

If that is so, why didn’t motherhood produce those effects in this woman?

(Link): Newborn baby dies after mother ‘douses it in flammable liquid and sets it on fire’

  • January 17, 2015
  • Young child was found burning alive in Pemberton Township, New Jersey  
  • Medics rushed to the scene and airlifted child to a Philadelphia hospital 
  • However the newborn succumbed to its injuries a short time later 
  • Hyphernkemberly Dorvilier, 22, has been charged with murdering the child 
  • One resident said the woman told them she was burning ‘dog feces’   
  • She has since been arrested as Burlington County Prosecutors investigate 
  • A newborn baby has died after its mother allegedly doused it in a flammable liquid, set it alight and left it burning in a road.
  • Witnesses say 22-year-old Hyphernkemberly Dorvilier got out of her car and stopped in the middle of Simontown Road in Pemberton Township, New Jersey, on Friday night and burned the child alive.
  • Medics rushed to the scene and airlifted the young child, which was still alive and breathing when they arrived, to St Christopher’s Hospital in Philadelphia with severe burns.
  • However the baby succumbed to its injuries a short time later.

    Emergency services were called to the scene after residents described a ‘commotion’ inside a nearby home before the horrific act

    The woman, who witnesses say lit the child on fire, was taken to Deborah Hospital, in Brown Mills, New Jersey according to NBC Philadelphia.

    She was then arrested after her condition stabilized.

    Neighbor Dave Joseph, 45, told Bucks County Courier Times the woman said she was burning dog feces and said she had a calm demeanor.

    Mr Joseph’s wife then notice what was really going on and screamed. The woman then tried to flee but residents stopped her.

  • ..’Officers from the Pemberton Township Police Department were dispatched to Simontown Road just before 11 p.m. yesterday after a resident called to report the fire in the roadway.

    ‘At approximately 11:15 p.m., the baby was airlifted to Saint Christopher’s Hospital in Philadelphia and was reported to be alive and breathing at that time. The baby died approximately two hours later.

    ‘The investigation revealed that the infant had been doused with an accelerant prior to being set ablaze. Dorvilier was taken into custody at the scene.

    ‘An autopsy will be performed by Burlington County Medical Examiner Dr. Ian Hood.

    ‘The details of the baby’s birth are being investigated. The investigation is being conducted by detectives from the Pemberton Township Police Department and the Burlington County Prosecutor’s Office.’

Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions / Bro Choice Men – Abortion Benefits Men Who Want No – Consequence – To – Men Sex With Women

Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions / Bro Choice Men – Abortion Benefits Men Who Want No – Consequence – To – Men Sex With Women

This is from a left wing, secular feminist site (“Jezebel”), which is usually quite hostile towards Republicans and traditional values:

(Link): Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions

This is one of those topics where I’m not particularly on either side of the debate.

I am pro-life, right wing, and don’t generally agree with left wing feminists often.

While I think I understand the motives behind this pro-life video (which I have not watched, I’ve only read the summary of it by the secular feminist author), I think it was maybe not thought out well (again, going by the feminist’s description of it).

I can’t say as though I agree with feminists that men should have no say at all in abortion.

Continue reading “Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions / Bro Choice Men – Abortion Benefits Men Who Want No – Consequence – To – Men Sex With Women”

Single, pregnant mother fired from church for not being married

Single, pregnant mother fired from church for not being married

This is very similar to a post I did several months ago. You can read my opinions about story like the one below in (Link) this post here.

By the way, note that this woman is considered single by her church because she did not go to a courthouse and obtain a marriage license, contra to blogger John Morgan, who has the weirdo idea that this woman is already married to the baby daddy because the two had sex at one time.

Well, as far as this woman’s church employer is concerned, she is SINGLE (as in shacking up), since she is carrying a baby but not legally wed (by her state). If you would like to know more about that, please see these posts at this blog:

(Link):  Church Fires Pregnant, Unwed Mother

(Link):  Baptist church fires engaged and pregnant employee ‘for not being married’

  • Apryl Kellam, 21, was employed at the daycare center at Staples Mill Road Baptist Church in Henrico County in Virginia since September
  • She lost her job Monday for ‘violating policies’ she told Daily Mail Online
  • Miss Kellam lives with her fiancé, James, five-year-old stepdaughter and two-year-old daughter
  • The daycare worker, who is 25 weeks pregnant, said it would ‘stressful’ for the family to live off one salary

(Link):  VA woman says she’s being fired because she’s single and pregnant

(Link):  Single, pregnant mother fired from church for not being married

  • Jan 13, 2015
  • A single, pregnant mother is considering legal action after apparently being fired from her job at a Virginia baptist church.
  • Apryl Kellam is engaged to her fiancé, James Coalson, but church leaders allegedly demanded she get married after falling pregnant.
  • Kellam began working at Staples Mill Road Baptist Church in September, but claimed she never received or signed a copy of the employee handbook.The handbook allegedly said that church daycare employees must be married, although Kellam insisted she never hid her personal life.

Continue reading “Single, pregnant mother fired from church for not being married”