Pastor Actually Questions, in the Year 2017, If It’s Acceptable for Mothers to Work Outside of the Home.

Pastor Actually Questions, in the Year 2017, If It’s Acceptable for Mothers to Work Outside of the Home.

I cannot believe we are in the year 2017, and Christians are still asking about this sort of thing and pontificating about it. To even ask and muse about this in 2017 is just sexist.

In regards to this story linked to below, Dee of Wartburg Watch asked on Twitter, something along the lines of, how much money does preacher Todd Wagner earn so that his wife (assuming he has a wife and kids) is able to stay at home all day to watch their kids?

How many of the women in Wagner’s church congregation (who may even be mothers themselves) have jobs outside the home, part of whose job income are paid to him in tithes, so that he can afford to have his wife stay at home and be a stay at home mother?

(Link): Does the Bible Say It’s OK for Moms to Work?

Excerpts:

July 28, 2017

by Sheryl Lynn

The pastor of a multi-site church in Texas [Watermark Community Church] recently responded to a question on whether the Bible says it’s OK for moms to work.

While it’s not forbidden, Todd Wagner questioned the motive behind a mother choosing to work over being at home with her children.

// end excerpt

“While it’s not forbidden.” – Yes, you can end it right there. Anything beyond this is Wagner’s opinion.

Continue reading “Pastor Actually Questions, in the Year 2017, If It’s Acceptable for Mothers to Work Outside of the Home.”

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Why does society still view childless women like me with suspicion? by E. Day

Why does society still view childless women like me with suspicion?

(Link): Why does society still view childless women like me with suspicion? by E. Day

Excerpts:

  • Remarks like Leadsom’s go far beyond the usual cut-and-thrust of the political arena and reveal how (Link): childless women are still viewed with innate suspicion. This, in spite of the fact that women in their mid-40s are now almost twice as likely to be childless as their parents’ generation. One in five women born in 1969 is childless today, compared with one in nine women born in 1942.
  • But there remains a taboo, a retrograde belief that (Link): we are in some way unnatural for not fulfilling our biological destiny. How else to explain the fact that the first question many people ask when I meet them is whether I have children, followed by an uncomfortable pause when I say that I don’t. “But why?” I can see them thinking. “What’s wrong with her?”

Continue reading “Why does society still view childless women like me with suspicion? by E. Day”

Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

I believe I first saw this link on Melanie Notkin’s Twitter:

(Link):  Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

Excerpts:

  • I’m a PANK. Yeah, you’re reading that right. I’m a PANK, a Professional Aunt No Kids.
  • ….I recently shared something on my personal Facebook page that reads, “I’m tired of hearing, ‘When are you going to get married and have kids?’ Let me tell you, I could have done that already and chose not to.

Continue reading “Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes”

Tokophobia – Too Afraid To Have A Baby by A. Lauretta

Tokophobia – Too Afraid To Have A Baby by A. Lauretta

(Link):  Too Afraid to Have a Baby

  • Tokophobia—a pathological dread of giving birth—might be causing some women to avoid pregnancy.
  • ….Though there aren’t statistics in the United States for a pathological anxiety over pregnancy and childbirth—known as tokophobia— (Link): studies in Australia and Britain have found that 6 percent of pregnant women report a disabling fear of having babies, while 13 percent of women who are not yet pregnant are afraid enough to postpone or avoid pregnancy altogether.
  • ….Pregnancy and childbirth do come with feelings of anxiety, of course: hopes that the mother and child will be safe and healthy, that there will be little to no complications during childbirth, that the first days and months at home will go smoothly.
  • So when do common pregnancy jitters cross the line into a clinical phobia? And, if the phobia is as prevalent as some research suggests, why isn’t it more widely recognized? The answer may have to do with the difficulty of being open about not looking forward to something that most people consider a miracle—especially when more than six million women in the U.S. alone have problems getting or staying pregnant and may dream of having children.
  • …Tokophobia is categorized in two forms: primary and secondary. The former can be understood through the lens of Mirren’s fear—often happening at a young age—when seeing disturbing images of birth or even resulting from sexual assault. The latter is often described similarly to post-traumatic stress disorder, resulting from a traumatic past birth experience.

Continue reading “Tokophobia – Too Afraid To Have A Baby by A. Lauretta”

Stop Pressuring Women to Be Moms: It’s Insulting to Assume We All Want The Same Thing by R K Bussel

Stop Pressuring Women to Be Moms: It’s Insulting to Assume We All Want The Same Thing by R K Bussel

(Link): Stop Pressuring Women to Be Moms: It’s Insulting to Assume We All Want The Same Thing

Excerpts

  • I used to wonder why my childfree friends were so adamant about what they didn’t want—but I get it now
  • We talk a lot about freedom of choice when it comes to reproduction, but there’s still one choice that women face an unconscionable amount of backlash over: the decision not to have kids. In an essay for (Link): Marie Claire, writer Starre Vartan details the opposition she’s faced in the dating and medical arenas over her choice to remain childfree, with a gynecologist telling her “That’s what we’re here for” and two boyfriends deliberately removing condoms during sex in a disgusting attempt to force her to change her mind:
  • “I…explained how terrified I was, physically and mentally, to be pregnant, to care for needy small humans. Two different, otherwise wonderful, handsome, and brilliant men said they ‘understood’ after I opened up about my fears. And then they each promptly sabotaged the birth control that I was very strict about.”
  • Assuming that all women automatically want kids is insulting—to everyone. It insults those who do plan to have kids or are parents already by diminishing the sheer amount of physical and emotional labor that goes into the undertaking. It insults those who don’t want kids, or aren’t sure, by elevating motherhood above every other option….
  • …Nobody wins by coercing someone else into becoming a parent, or making someone feel guilty, damaged or ostracized for not wanting kids.

Continue reading “Stop Pressuring Women to Be Moms: It’s Insulting to Assume We All Want The Same Thing by R K Bussel”

James Dobson’s Flawed Take on Population Decline (no.1: We’re Not in Decline) by T. Grant

James Dobson’s Flawed Take on Population Decline (no.1: We’re Not in Decline) by T. Grant

As this report notes (link is much farther down this blog page), more pressure is placed on WOMEN to marry and have children than is placed on MEN.

I know that culture and Christians can treat single / celibate / childless men like trash, but they are TEN TIMES worse on Christian WOMEN in these regards.

Women get far more pressured to marry and have kids than men do or ever will.

Women get more shamed and insulted by Christians (and at times, secular culture) for staying single, celibate, and childless than males ever are.

Just because most women are capable of carrying a baby inside them, society and churches think it’s their DUTY to have a baby (as though women serve no other purpose in life), and if they choose to opt out (or cannot have a kid), they are still marginalized or insulted for it.

Men don’t face nearly as much insult or pressure to have kids as women do.

I am right of center – but I agree with this left wing (liberal) guy that other right wingers such as Dobson’s real goal is to be against what he perceives as liberal threats to the church or culture. That is one very real motivator some right wingers have, in why they do things like harass women to have children.

I also want to say how utterly moronic I find this approach by Dobson.

Continue reading “James Dobson’s Flawed Take on Population Decline (no.1: We’re Not in Decline) by T. Grant”

All The Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister – Various Links to Reviews or Commentary About the Book and Its Issues

All The Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister  – Various Links to Reviews or Commentary About the Book and Its Issues

There are currently a million links about the new book “All the Single Ladies” by Rebecca Traister

Up til now, I have made individual blog posts about that book – reviews, commentaries that reference it, or interviews with its author.

I no longer feel like devoting that much effort into blogging about it, so here is a lone thread crammed with links about it.

This post may be edited in the future to add new links about this book as I find them.

Some of these links might only be tangentially related to the book. I only have one life to live, and I don’t want to spend it blogging about this one book.

It sometimes takes me a long time to put a single blog post together – especially hunting through the “Categories and Tags” area of the blog area, having to skim through a long list of tags. It’s a time consuming pain in the ass.

One thing you will notice in many of these articles is how often Traister points out that men do not usually face as MUCH social stigma or penalties as often in life -or employment- as single women do for being single. Which is true.

As I have written of before, (Link): Men are not hounded, judged, or shamed nearly as much as women are for remaining celibate, single, and/or childless.

The fact that a woman author had to write a book discussing singleness among women speaks to how much singleness is different for women than it is for men – it is far more socially acceptable (and among Christians) for a man to remain single and childless than it is for a woman.

Do some segments of culture harass men over being single or kid-free or question their manliness? Yes.

I am not saying that life or church is a cake-walk for never married or childless or childfree men. But as a matter of comparison, on a scale of one to ten, with one being “awesome and great” and ten being “terrible and hellish” single and childless men get treated to about a, I don’t know, a four on that scale, while women get a nine or a ten.

Because women have vaginas, they are expected to have babies. There is far more stigma attached for a woman to be single and without children than there is a for a man, because church and society do not expect having babies to be necessary for a man to be fully a man socially or biologically. Not near as much as it is for women.

Women get pressured for more often and more severely to marry and have babies than men ever do or ever will.

I am not saying men get ZERO pressure, only that they get a 1 or a 2 in pressure, where-as women get a 9 or 10 in pressure on the scale of marriage and natalism.

It is far easier to drift thru life as a single bachelor dude with no kids than it is for a woman to go through life with no husband or no kids – you won’t get judged as much by family, church, politicians, conservative think tanks, over this stuff as a woman does over it. And it’s sexist bullshit.

Here are the links (more might be added to this post in the future as I find them):

(Link):  The Single American Woman via NY Magazine

(Link):  Review: Rebecca Traister’s All the Single Ladies is a reassuring balm to the rhetoric that surrounds us 

  • Yet in spite of these harsh truths, All the Single Ladies is celebratory, the stories of real women who are single a reassuring balm to the rhetoric that surrounds us. Traister asks, by outlining the ways women can succeed when their societies support their choices, to consider what we really mean when we tell women to marry for better or worse.
  • Her argument – that our public policies are what need to change, not the rate at which we marry or the age we do it – prioritizes equal pay over joint accounts, better health-care provisions over shared plans, comprehensive child care instead of Mommy-and-Me clichés, and other tangible solutions instead of abstract platitudes.

(Link):  Rebecca Traister’s ‘All The Single Ladies’ is a singularly triumphant work

(Link):   Single Women are Quietly Remaking Our World

  • By Emily Simon
  • “Single women are taking up space in a world that was not designed for them.”
  • That sort of statement – at once radical and obvious – is characteristic of Rebecca Traister: a happily married mother of two who is currently encouraging us to recognize the cultural and political power of single women.

Continue reading “All The Single Ladies by Rebecca Traister – Various Links to Reviews or Commentary About the Book and Its Issues”

Why Being a Childless Woman is Rarely a Simple Case of Choice or Infertility – Childless by Circumstance by J. Day

Please note all you are getting here is a long excerpt. I did not paste in the whole article. The author discusses how she tried IVF at one time, or she considered using IVF, if I remember correctly.

(Link): Why being a childless woman is rarely a simple case of choice or infertilityby J Day

  • An estimated 80% of women who don’t have children are ‘childless by circumstance’, rather than choice or medical reasons
  • Feb 28, 2016
  • Before I became a statistic, by reaching my mid-forties without having children, I thought, as many of us do, that there were two ways to become a childless woman: you either didn’t want them (“child-free”) or you were infertile.
  • It has been estimated that 80 per cent of women who don’t have children are “childless by circumstance”, a phrase coined by the Australian academic Dr Leslie Cannold in her 2005 book, What, No Baby?
  • The figure comes from the work of Dr Renske Keizer, a professor at Erasmus University Rotterdam, who in a 2010 meta-analysis of data from the Netherlands and the US estimated that 10 per cent of women without children are childless by choice, 10 per cent for medical reasons, and 80 per cent by circumstance.
  • Applied to statistics about UK women, it can be estimated that there are (or shortly will be) almost 1.5 million women in their forties and fifties here who won’t have children, with only 10 per cent of those being unambiguously by choice.
  • ….Perhaps the most difficult-to-digest reason for childlessness is that of never having been in a suitable relationship.

Continue reading “Why Being a Childless Woman is Rarely a Simple Case of Choice or Infertility – Childless by Circumstance by J. Day”

Why Single Women Have Baby Fear Of Missing Out – via Daily Beast

Why Single Women Have Baby Fear Of Missing Out – by L. Crocker – via Daily Beast

Fortunately for me, I never cared much if I had any children or not, so I’m “meh” about not having kids.

(Link):  Why Single Women Have Baby FOMO by L. Crocker

Excerpts:

  • Single women have more power, influence, and freedom than ever before—but that freedom is still complicated by child-bearing.
  • It’s not easy for single women of a certain age to revel in their singledom. There comes a time—one that varies depending on cultural, geographic, and socioeconomic backgrounds—when the single woman in America feels like an anomaly among her peers, regardless of whether she’s single by choice or not.
  • In reality, the opposite is true: There are more single women now than ever.
  • In 2009, the number of American women who were married fell below 50 percent, and the number of women younger than 34 who had never been married climbed to 46 percent.
  • The numbers reflect a broader cultural shift that has allotted single women more power, influence, and freedom than ever before.
  • We’ve seen the single woman’s rise touted in books like Kate Bolick’s (Link): Spinster (2015), about how the author has managed to live independently for 39 years, taking cues from other unconventional women. We’ve seen it in television shows about powerful single women, too, like Liz Lemon in 30 Rock.
  • Now, feminist writer Rebecca Traister shows us just how far we’ve come in 50 years in her new book, All the Single Ladies: Unmarried Women and the Rise of an Independent Nation. (New York magazine ran a cover story adapted from the book last week, a viral essay about the (Link): value of the single woman’s vote in this election cycle.)
  • All the Single Ladies argues that single women, “untethered from the energy-sucking and identity-sapping institution of marriage in its older forms,” have long played crucial roles in our country’s defining social movements, from abolitionism to suffragism to feminism.

Continue reading “Why Single Women Have Baby Fear Of Missing Out – via Daily Beast”

Facebook’s motherhood challenge makes me want to punch my computer screen by F. Everett

Facebook’s motherhood challenge makes me want to punch my computer screen by F. Everett

I am friends with people on Facebook who have told me in private that their mother friends – one lady is Facebook friends with a sister of hers who has three kids – are actually terrible parents in real life.

Yet, these same terrible mothers who blather on about how wonderful their children are when they are on Facebook, who post scads of posts of their smiling kids, yell and scream at the kids in real life – or neglect them.

Remember that every time you see posts by parents on Facebook, with their sweet family snaps, who are bragging about their children. They are often times selectively editing their social media to present a glossy, happy version of their life that may not be real most of the time.

(Link):  Facebook’s motherhood challenge makes me want to punch my computer screen by F. Everett

(Link): Mommy Blogger Confesses in Blog Post that Mommy Blogging is a Bunch of Fake, Happy-Clappy B.S. – Kind of Like Most Christian Adult Singleness Blogs

  • Of course it’s meant to be a bit of fun, but this smug club fetishises motherhood, and creates a new way to measure women and find them wanting
  • There are certain phrases that make my heart sink. After “Can I be really honest?” and “Mind if I join you, ladies?” the latest to engender a sense of creeping misery must surely be (Link):Facebook motherhood challenge.Of uncertain origin, this viral “challenge” demands that mothers post a series of pictures that make them “proud to be a mum” and then tag other women who they think are “great mothers”.
  • Many of my friends have done this, bouncily posting shots of themselves with interchangeable babies, all of whom look like glow-worms in padded snowsuits, and tagging whole lists of other “awesome mums” inviting them to do the same.
  • And while I fully understand that they have no intention of hurting anyone, that they are simply happy to have their wonderful children, #blessed, #lovinglife and so on, I still want to punch the screen of my computer in whenever a new one pops up.
  •  The most offensive aspect of this is the idea that it’s a “challenge” at all.
  • A challenge is coping with grief when you wish you were dead, or pushing your mind and body to the limit in a feat of superhuman endurance. It’s not posting a few snaps of your toddler and waiting for your friends to type “aw gorgeous hun xxx” underneath. And it’s unclear whether the challenge in question is to prove what a great mother you are, or merely to challenge your friends to prove that they are too.
  •  This insidious idea of (Link): motherhood as a beatific vocational calling began with the Virgin Mary, and reached its peak with the Victorian notion of “the angel of the hearth”, when mothers who didn’t have to work, and had nannies and housekeepers and nursery maids rushing about looking after their children, were depicted as celestial beings radiating goodness, their sole purpose on Earth to gather little children to their rustling taffeta bosoms and gently instruct them.

Continue reading “Facebook’s motherhood challenge makes me want to punch my computer screen by F. Everett”

GOP Consultant Rick Wilson to MSNBC: Trump Supporters ‘Childless Single Men Who Masturbate to Anime’

GOP Consultant Rick Wilson to MSNBC: Trump Supporters ‘Childless Single Men Who Masturbate to Anime’

I am right wing, and a Republican (though I am lately thinking about leaving the GOP, but not for the Democrats. Both the GOP and the Democrats are disappointing, but for different reasons).

I have said on this blog before that many Republicans (or at least a percentage) are stuck in the 1950s, and that they idolize the nuclear family. They ostracize or marginalize anyone who is not married with children (which is quite what conservative Christians do).

Some of the following links pertain to Donald Trump. I know a lot of people find Trump polarizing, but I don’t have strong opinions for or against the guy.

I don’t keep up with politics as much as I used to do, so I just happen to see the occasional blurb or Tweet about Trump. From what I’ve seen the last several months, Trump says offensive or over the top things. Every so often, he makes a point that I agree with a tiny bit.

It’s highly inappropriate for a Republican to trash un-married or childless men for any reason, but I’d also include doing so for the sake of taking Trump down a peg or two. Insulting people for being single or childless, or in the context of scoring political points, is totally uncalled for.

I suppose the GOP yea-hoo who made these disparaging remarks about single or childless people is unaware that most Americans today are single, and more and more are forgoing parenthood (Link about that and see this link).

(Link): GOP strategist slams ‘crazy’ Trump fans: ‘Childless single men who masturbate to anime’

Continue reading “GOP Consultant Rick Wilson to MSNBC: Trump Supporters ‘Childless Single Men Who Masturbate to Anime’”

A Woman’s Fertility is Her Own Business, not Everyone Else’s by L. Bates

A Woman’s Fertility is Her Own Business, not Everyone Else’s by L. Bates

I may have blogged on this before. I apologize if this is a repeat. I’m pretty sure I already read this, or something very similar to it, about a month ago, and I may have blogged on this before.

(Link): A Woman’s Fertility is Her Own Business, not Everyone Else’s by L. Bates

Excerpts (I have a few comments to make below this long series of excerpts):

  • We obsess over fertility as if women are slot machines who simply need to be primed and pumped at the optimal socially acceptable moment for a baby to shoot out like a prize
  • When Michigan-based writer Emily Bingham took to her Facebook page to vent her frustration at intrusive baby questions, she probably expected a few of her friends to share or “like” her post. Accompanied by an ultrasound photo she had found online, (Link): her post implored:
  • Before you ask the young married couple that has been together for seemingly forever when they are finally gonna start a family … before you ask the parents of an only-child toddler when a Little Brother or Little Sister will be in the works … before you ask a single thirtysomething if/when s/he plans on having children because, you know, clock’s ticking … just stop.

    Please stop.

    You don’t know who is struggling with infertility or grieving a miscarriage or dealing with health issues.

    You don’t know who is having relationship problems or is under a lot of stress or the timing just isn’t right. You don’t know who is on the fence about having kids or having more kids.

    You don’t know who has decided it’s not for them right now, or not for them ever. You don’t know how your seemingly innocent question might cause someone grief, pain, stress or frustration.

    But instead of reaching a few dozen of her friends, Bingham’s post went viral, shared by more than 77,000 people and liked by more than 42,000. It’s not surprising that Bingham’s message struck such a chord.

Continue reading “A Woman’s Fertility is Her Own Business, not Everyone Else’s by L. Bates”

Sorry About Mother’s Day, My Childfree Girlfriends: Moms Aren’t Any More Special (or Unselfish) Than You

Sorry About Mother’s Day, my childfree girlfriends: Moms Aren’t Any More Special (or Unselfish) Than You

Some people were upset by the following editorial. Amazingly, some snobbish mothers say they don’t feel that any sympathy should go to women who are childless of childfree.

I suspect that such idiots are blind to how society and churches marginalize or out right insult women who do not have children for any reason – whether it’s due to being infertile, not being able to find a husband, not being interested in being a mother, whatever.

Society and religious circles are constantly venerating mothers and motherhood year round.

By contrast, women who are single or childless are frowned up, treated like losers, or, depending on the environment, are completely ignored. We childless women get our noses rubbed in this even more so on Mother’s Day, what with churches who make the entire church service about mothers, or what with all the advertisements for Mother’s Day gifts and flowers.

(Link): Sorry about Mother’s Day, my childfree girlfriends: Moms aren’t any more special (or unselfish) than you

  • Don’t let the cult of motherhood come between us
  • May 2015
  • Mother’s Day is a relatively non-landmine-filled day for me. I have a supportive family and two loving, sweet daughters who are happy to shower me in homemade cards and cookies. I’m proud of my role as a mom, and as far as I’m concerned my kids are the most fascinating people in the world, so it’s easy to have a day to celebrate that relationship.
  • But I know that Sunday is not going to be a great day for everybody. It’s hard for people who’ve lost their moms.
  • It’s hard for those who had crummy moms — and believe me, it hasn’t escaped my notice that in our cultural glorification of motherhood, the fact that a lot of women who’ve had children have (Link): done a piss poor of raising them seems to get conveniently left out a lot.
  • And it can also be hard for women who don’t have children, in this season of constant reminders that the (Link): best and most important “job” a woman could ever aspire to is motherhood. So to all my female friends who aren’t moms, I just want you to know that I call BS on this garbage too.
     There is a prevailing notion, even in an era in which women can presumably do other things with their lives than reproduce, that people who don’t are, as the title of a recent collection edited by the stellar Megan Daum puts it, (Link): “Selfish, Shallow and Self-Absorbed.”
  • And that’s pretty amazing, when you consider that lots of lots of women don’t have kids.
  • Anecdotally, I certainly know several childfree women, and I’d say the number of them I’d describe as selfish, shallow and self-absorbed is dead even with the number of mothers I’d describe that way. That’s why I’ve never understood women who circle the wagons and shut out their childfree friends once they cross over to Motherland.
  • Honestly, (Link): a lot of other moms are annoying. In contrast, I went out the other night with two female friends who don’t have children and you know what we talked about? Books.

Continue reading “Sorry About Mother’s Day, My Childfree Girlfriends: Moms Aren’t Any More Special (or Unselfish) Than You”

Maryland: Woman Charged For Contaminating Her Family’s Milk With Dead Skin Shavings From Her Feet – Happy Mother’s Day 2015

Maryland: Woman Charged For Contaminating Her Family’s Milk With Dead Skin Shavings From Her Feet  – Happy Mother’s Day 2015

I can’t say as though I plan on making Mother’s Day related posts every year. I just saw this and it fit – and I believe Mother’s Day is tomorrow.

You can see my previous posts on how terrible Mother’s Day is for people who are infertile, for women who never married, etc., and how churches wrongly hype motherhood year round only to make it worse on Mother’s Day.

Evangelical Christians like to teach that becoming a parent automatically confers godliness and maturity on to a person, but it does not.

Evangelical Christians, in addition to other types of conservative Christians, like to point to getting married and/or having children as markers of maturity, when the Bible itself does no such thing.

Jesus never married, never had children, but I doubt many Christians would consider Jesus an irresponsible, selfish, backwards, dolt, yet they do this constantly with the followers of Jesus who never marry, or who are childless or childfree.

Here’s yet another example of how motherhood or marriage does not make a person more honest, godly, loving, or mature (the woman in this story is a mother, I think, and I believe married, too. I could be wrong, though, as the story does not explain who “family” is… these could be her aunts or nephews – most of the time, culture and reporters equate the word “family” to mean “married person who has kids”):

(Link):  Woman ‘put dead skin shavings from her feet in her family’s milk’

(Link): Maryland: Woman Charged For Contaminating Her Family’s Milk With Dead Skin Shavings From Her Feet 

  • Sarah P. Schrock, 56 of Mechanicsville, Maryland, was arrested on Wednesday. The charges against her are connected to an incident where she served her family milk that she contaminated with dead skin shavings from her feet.
  • The Mechanicsville woman was jailed in lieu of 10 percent of a $10,000 bond related to food contamination, as well as second-degree assault on Allison Depriest and Jessica Whitney Hurry during an incident at her home located off of Golden Beach Road.
  • According to the Southern Maryland Newspaper Online, Schrock was home alone until around dinner time when Hurry and Depriest arrived. Schrock served milk with dinner. Depriest began to choke and coughed up what appeared to be human skin.
  • Court papers state that Hurry also gagged while drinking the milk. An unnamed witness found dead skin in the milk after pouring it into a strainer.

Continue reading “Maryland: Woman Charged For Contaminating Her Family’s Milk With Dead Skin Shavings From Her Feet – Happy Mother’s Day 2015”

The Childless Millennial

The Childless Millennial

I am normally loathe to publish anything on millennials, because the media never shuts up about them (and Baby Boomers). But, I see shades of this in older generations too.

(Link): The Childless Millennial

  • A new report finds that today’s twentysomethings have a lower birthrate than any previous generation.
  • ….It’s no wonder Millennial audiences relate to the show so well: Today’s twentysomething women have been slower to have children than any previous generation.
  • ….In a new report, the Urban Institute think tank writes that in 2012, there were only 948 births per 1,000 women in their 20s, “by far the slowest pace of any generation of young women in U.S. history.” In 2007, the rate was 1,118 births per 1,000.
  • The decline in births was largest among Hispanic women, at 26 percent, followed by black women, at 14 percent, and an 11 percent drop for white women.
  • The researchers put forward a few theories for the decrease.
  • One is the Great Recession, which might have hit pause on pregnancy plans because babies are, among other things, expensive. Past studies have estimated that the recession led to a 2.4 percent decrease in the fertility rate, or about 426,850 live births. The recession also slowed the trickle of immigrants to the U.S., and immigrants tend to have more children.
  • … For white women, though, the story was very different: “81 percent of the decrease in fertility is attributable to declining marriage rates.” (Granted, white women were less likely to be single mothers to begin with.) All the single ladies of countless Internet essays are, indeed, staying unhitched—and they’re not having kids as a result.
  • …The report authors say they don’t know whether Millennial women will eventually catch up in childbearing like women who lived through past recessions did.Overall, the report paints a positive picture for women of color and a neutral one for white women. On one hand, women might be enjoying living carefree and childless into their 30s.

Why Can’t We Accept That Some Women Don’t Want Kids? / We suffer from ‘Mom-opia’

Why Can’t We Accept That Some Women Don’t Want Kids? / We suffer from ‘Mom-opia’

I think at least one of these was written by Melanie Notkin – I first saw these articles mentioned on her Twitter feed. There are two different articles below.

(Link): Why Can’t We Accept That Some Women Don’t Want Kids?

(Link): We suffer from ‘Mom-opia’

Excerpts below each link.

(Link): Why Can’t We Accept That Some Women Don’t Want Kids?

  • There Is No ‘Normal’ American Family Anymore. But Heads Still Shake When It Comes to Women’s Reproductive Choices.
  • It used to be that the Cleavers—dad working an office job, mom raising two boys full-time—were the model American family. But the past several decades have seen dramatic changes—recent studies find that only about half of American adults are married today, compared to around 70 percent in 1960.
  • A Pew Research Center study from 2010 found that 20 percent of American women now end their childbearing years without having borne a child, compared to 10 percent in the 1970s. During that time, the public has become more accepting of these women, but 38 percent of Americans surveyed for that study felt this trend was bad for society.
  • …In advance of the Zócalo event “Why Have Kids?, we asked a panel of experts: If Americans have come to accept a range of non-traditional family structures, why does a woman’s choice not to have children still elicit skepticism and judgment?

(Link): We suffer from ‘Mom-opia’ (I believe the author for this is Melanie Notkin)

Excerpts:

  • We have “Mom-opia” in America—the myopic view of motherhood as womanhood. And yet, the latest U.S. Census Report on Fertility shows that 46 percent of women of childbearing years are childless.
  • This all-women-as-mother view generates “black and white” assumptions for why women make their choices, ignoring nuances and shades of gray. I worked closely with DeVries Global PR on a 2014 national demographic study entitled “Shades of Otherhood,” inspired by my book, Otherhood: Modern Women Finding a New Kind of Happiness, to better understand this cohort of modern women.
  • Of the 19 million childless American women ages 20 to 44, over one-third (36 percent) are childless by choice. Some never felt motherhood was for them. Some don’t feel financially secure enough for parenthood. Some enjoy the freedom to live life to what they envision as its potential. And 18 percent of all childless women are on the fence, having not yet made a choice on motherhood either way.
  • And then nearly half (46 percent) are involuntarily childless, some by biology, and more often, among the cohort I explore more widely in Otherhood, by circumstance.
  • The women of the Otherhood are often single, often not by choice, and they choose to wait for love before motherhood.

Why Do We Still Have To Justify The Choice To Be Child-free? by H. Freeman

Why do we still have to justify the choice to be child-free? by H. Freeman

(Link): Why do we still have to justify the choice to be child-free? by H. Freeman

Excerpts.

  • April 8, 2015

Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless

Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless

(Link): Woman killed herself after struggling to deal with being unmarried and childless by 30

My comments about this news story, before I get to the excerpts:

The way I first saw this story presented online, the woman’s suicide was due to her wanting to be married and a mother, but found herself still unmarried and childless at age 30.

She did, however, have a steady boyfriend at the time she took her life. The article also mentions that around 2011 her mother died.

I have no idea if this woman was a Christian or what her beliefs were.

I do wish that Christian church – conservatives, Reformed, evangelical, fundamentalist and Baptists – would do far more to minister to never married, childless adults in their churches and communities.

As it is, Christians in many nations have made getting married and being a parent the pinnacle of one’s life and regard marriage/parenthood as the only avenues to being a “grown up” and treat singles as though they are children – even 40 and 50 year old adults who have never married.

Women are constantly told by conservative Christians – who have an unhealthy obsession with and paranoid fear of secular feminism – that marriage and motherhood are their only choices in life, that they are the only God-ordained, God-approved roles for women (even though the Bible does not teach this).

Or, it is strongly implied by conservative Christians that marriage and motherhood are VASTLY SUPERIOR to singlehood and childlessness, and that God secretly prefers it if women marry and crank out children.

Yes, conservative Christians on occasion will pay “lip service” to respecting singleness, but they never-the-less usually strongly imply that singleness (and being childless) is “second best,” or in some way inferior, when compared to marriage and parenting, and that being single is not God’s preferred plan or intent for humanity.

For more on that flawed thinking, please see:

Never married, childless (and divorced, child free, widowed women) are either consistently ignored by most of Christian culture, or else, if they are spoken to or about, are treated like freaks, losers, and failures.

Continue reading “Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless”

On Being Circumstantially Childless by A. Pearson

On Being Circumstantially Childless by A. Pearson

I never cared if I had children or not. What perturbs me about being childless (or childfree) is how women such as myself are treated as, or assumed to be, selfish, losers, failures, etc. This is also true of churches and Christians.

I’ve read of never married, childless women talk of walking into churches and treated rudely because they do not have children. I’ve had similar experiences in churches. Being childless isn’t bad… what’s bad is how people tend to treat you like a freak once they find out.

Men, by the way, very seldom get the same harassment over being childless as women do – not the same amount and not the same kind. Men seldom get hounded or pestered over if they have kids, or why do they not have them or don’t want any, etc.

(Link): On Being Circumstantially Childless by A. Pearson

Excerpts

  • They expected to have babies but found themselves at the end of their natural fertility without having done so. Perhaps it was due to prioritising work, study or travel. Maybe it was due to not having met someone they wanted to have children with.
  • Whatever the case, the impact of “unintended” or “circumstantial” childlessness on women’s lives needs to be more widely acknowledged, University of Canterbury researcher Dr Lois Tonkin says.

    “They are in the unusual position of being neither voluntarily childless nor involuntarily childless …  an unexpected consequence of other choices,” she says.

  • A GRIEF LIKE MOURNING

    Tonkin, who has a background in counselling, has written a thesis on the subject for a PhD in sociology, examining the experiences of 26 New Zealand women in their 30s and 40s who expected to have children but found themselves at the end of their natural fertility without having done so.

    “Circumstantially childless women very often grieve for the loss of the opportunity to become a mother and for some this grief is likened to the death of someone close,” she says.

    “My study participants often said they felt misunderstood, judged, unacknowledged, ignored and isolated by others around them. Many talked about feeling like a failure.”

Continue reading “On Being Circumstantially Childless by A. Pearson”