Why Women Aren’t Having Children – from The Atlantic

Why Women Aren’t Having Children – from The Atlantic

(Link): Why Women Aren’t Having Children – from The Atlantic

Excerpts:

  • As detailed in essays by 16 different writers, both male and female: because they don’t want to, and because not wanting to is perfectly reasonable
  • by Sophie Gilbert
  • Pope Francis is widely believed to be a cool Pope—a huggable, Upworthyish, meme-ready, self-deprecating leader for a new generation of worshippers. “He has described himself as a sinner,” writes Archbishop Desmond Tutu in Pope Francis’ entry on Time’s list of the 100 most influential people in the world,  “and his nonjudgmental views on … issues such as sexual orientation and divorce have brought hope to millions of Roman Catholics around the world.”
  • But there’s one issue that can make even Cool Pope Francis himself sound a little, well, judgy. “A society with a greedy generation, that doesn’t want to surround itself with children, that considers them above all worrisome, a weight, a risk, is a depressed society,” the pontiff told an audience in St. Peter’s Square earlier this year. “The choice not to have children is selfish. Life rejuvenates and acquires energy when it multiplies: It is enriched, not impoverished.”
  • Ignore the irony of a man who’s celibate by choice delivering a lecture on the sacred duty of procreating, and focus instead on his use of the word “selfish.” This particular descriptor is both the word most commonly associated with people who decide not to have children, and part of the title of a new collection of essays, Selfish, Shallow, and Self-Absorbed, by 16 different writers (both female and male) who fall into exactly that category.
  • While the association appears to be so deeply embedded in the collective psyche that it’d take dynamite to shift it, if the book reveals anything, it’s that there’s an awful lot more to not wanting children than the impulse to put oneself first.

Continue reading “Why Women Aren’t Having Children – from The Atlantic”

Why Do We Still Have To Justify The Choice To Be Child-free? by H. Freeman

Why do we still have to justify the choice to be child-free? by H. Freeman

(Link): Why do we still have to justify the choice to be child-free? by H. Freeman

Excerpts.

  • April 8, 2015

The Global Flight From the Family – from the WSJ

The Global Flight From the Family

This is from the WSJ. You might have to log in to read the whole thing. I visited their page three different times. The first two times, I was told to subscribe if I wanted to read it, on the third visit, I was granted full access.

As a celibate, middle aged, never married lady who never had kids, I don’t care if marriage rates are falling and people are refraining from having kids. This is another one of those panicked, hand-wringing editorials about how people are not marrying or having kids.

As Melanie Notkin pointed out on Twitter in regards to this WSJ editorial, not all people are deliberately choosing to delay marriage or avoid it altogether – there is a huge number of women who want to marry and have no idea why they’ve never been married.

Such women did not plan on being single and childless into their 30s and older, but there they are – and yet, they get blamed for it, by commentators who assume they intentionally avoided marriage and motherhood, for selfish reasons, or to worship career, or whatever.

These types of editorials almost never mention the scores of women who had planned and hoped on marrying (and/or having children), but it did not pan out for them because they never met a suitable partner.

(Link): The Global Flight From the Family 

Excerpts

  • Much the same has been taking place around East and Southeast Asia for at least a generation. From South Korea to Singapore, China is rimmed by countries where marriage is being postponed or, increasingly, forgone; where networks of extended kin are withering due to extreme sub-replacement fertility; and where childlessness is on the rise.
  • Nowadays about one-sixth of Japanese women in their mid-40s are still single, and about 30% of all women that age are childless. Twenty years hence, by Mr. Kaneko’s projections, 38% of all Japanese women in their mid-40s would be childless, and an even higher share—just over 50%—would never have grandchildren.
  • To be sure, unlike Europe and the U.S., Japan still severely stigmatizes childbearing outside marriage. Childlessness, on the other hand, is socially acceptable.
  • Japanese women are availing themselves of these new choices. Given recent trajectories, demographers Miho Iwasawa and Ryuichi Kaneko project that a Japanese woman born in 1990 stands less than even odds of getting married and staying married to age 50.
  • Contemporary Japanese women have lifestyle options that were unthinkable for their grandmothers, including divorce, separation, cohabitation and remaining single.
  • Lest one suspect that there is something about this phenomenon that is culturally specific to Western countries, we have Japan, whose fabled “Asian family values” are now largely a thing of the past.
  • But it is not primarily driven by the graying of European society, at least thus far: Over twice as many Danes under 65 are living alone as those over 65.
  • The rise of the one-person home coincides with population aging.

Continue reading “The Global Flight From the Family – from the WSJ”

Remaining childless can be wise and meaningful. The pope should know – by Gaby Hinsliff

Remaining childless can be wise and meaningful. The pope should know Gaby Hinsliff

Yes, the pope was at it again, shaming and criticizing people who are childless or child free. Here are one or two rebuttals.

(Link): Dear Pope Francis: Not having kids IS selfish … and that’s ok.

(Link): Remaining childless can be wise and meaningful. The pope should know by Gaby Hinsliff

Excerpts (if you want to read the entire piece, please use the link above)

  • Feb 2015

Mother Allegedly Tried to Murder Her Children by Crushing Poison Into Their Apple Juice

Mother Allegedly Tried to Murder Her Children by Crushing Poison Into Their Apple Juice

As I was just saying on the previous post about the mother who burned her infant child to death:

And some conservative Christians like to teach that becoming a parent is necessary to be loving, responsible, mature and godly.

If that is so, why didn’t motherhood produce those effects in this woman?

(Link):  Poisoned Kids Saw Mom Crush Pills Into Their Apple Juice, Say Police

  • Jan 17, 2015
  • Police say two children who were allegedly poisoned by their mother remember seeing the woman crush pills into apple juice that they were then forced to drink, according to ABC News affiliate WLS-TV in Chicago.
  • Krystale El Khatib, 29, is being held on two counts of attempted murder after she allegedly tried to poison her two children this week.
  • “One of the children indicated that he observed mom crushing the pills into a powder form, and put in a substance, and forcing them to drink it with their juice,” Schiller Park Police Chief Anthony Brzezniak told WLS-TV.
  • …Khatib also took medication and after she passed out her children were able to text their father that they were sick, according to WLS-TV. The children’s father then took them to a hospital, where the medical team alerted police about the alleged poisoning. The children were treated and released from the hospital and are now with their father, according to WLS-TV.

Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions / Bro Choice Men – Abortion Benefits Men Who Want No – Consequence – To – Men Sex With Women

Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions / Bro Choice Men – Abortion Benefits Men Who Want No – Consequence – To – Men Sex With Women

This is from a left wing, secular feminist site (“Jezebel”), which is usually quite hostile towards Republicans and traditional values:

(Link): Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions

This is one of those topics where I’m not particularly on either side of the debate.

I am pro-life, right wing, and don’t generally agree with left wing feminists often.

While I think I understand the motives behind this pro-life video (which I have not watched, I’ve only read the summary of it by the secular feminist author), I think it was maybe not thought out well (again, going by the feminist’s description of it).

I can’t say as though I agree with feminists that men should have no say at all in abortion.

Continue reading “Manly Christian Bros ‘Apologize’ for Letting Their Women Get Abortions / Bro Choice Men – Abortion Benefits Men Who Want No – Consequence – To – Men Sex With Women”

Mother says in interview: ‘I wish I’d aborted the son I’ve spent 47 years caring for’

Mother says in interview: ‘I wish I’d aborted the son I’ve spent 47 years caring for’

And how do stories like this fit with the usual conservative Christian propaganda that motherhood makes a woman more mature, godly, loving, and self-less? It does not.  Stories like this go to show that becoming a parent does not necessarily make a person better or more ethical or caring than a person who does not procreate.

(Link):  ‘I wish I’d aborted the son I’ve spent 47 years caring for’: It’s a shocking admission – but read on before you judge

Continue reading “Mother says in interview: ‘I wish I’d aborted the son I’ve spent 47 years caring for’”

AZ GOP (Republican) vice-chair calls for sterilizing poor women: If you want a baby, get a job

AZ GOP vice-chair calls for sterilizing poor women: If you want a baby, get a job

I am right wing and a Republican. Several left wing sites were reporting this story.

If it’s true, it’s strange and hypocritical. Although I am right wing and socially conservative, I do not agree with the habit of other right wingers and conservative Christians who place too much emphasis on family and marriage.

I’m rather puzzled when any right winger speaks out against helping families or single mothers, as this man has done.

Much of the time, right wingers complain about how single women are having abortions, or they complain about how many women are delaying childbearing or choosing to skip motherhood altogether, or they complain about how secularists and liberals are destroying marriage and the traditional family.

I don’t see how a party can on the one hand, say they support those things, but then turn around and want to punish or shame women who get pregnant prior to marriage but rather than have an abortion, decide to keep and raise the baby? That doesn’t make any sense to me, and I am a right wing Republican myself.

This politician’s views also work against the standard Republican or conservative Christian belief that a woman’s only, or most high calling in life, is to be a wife and mother.

You can’t be consistent by saying on one hand you’re deeply disturbed that women are choosing NOT to be mothers and wish they would chose to be mothers, and also arguing that women were created by God to do nothing but pop babies out (that’s supposedly their “highest calling or role in life”), then turn around and say you want to sterilize women so that they cannot be mothers and have babies.

(Link):  AZ GOP vice-chair calls for sterilizing poor women: If you want a baby, get a job

  • by Travis Gettys
  • Sept 12, 2014
  • The recalled Arizona senate president who proposed the state’s controversial anti-immigration law said he could fix public assistance programs by forcibly sterilizing women who receive aid and by requiring drug tests for all recipients.“You put me in charge of Medicaid, the first thing I’d do is get Norplant, birth-control implants, or tubal ligations,” said Russell Pearce on his weekly talk radio program. Then we’ll test recipients for drugs and alcohol, and if you want to [reproduce] or use drugs or alcohol, then get a job.”He suggested drastic cuts to food assistance for needy families, (Link): reported Phoenix New Times, and he urged strict limits items that could be purchased what little help was available.
  • …“No cash for Ding Dongs and Ho Hos, you’d only get money for 15-pound bags of rice and beans, blocks of cheese and powdered milk – all the powdered milk you can haul away,” Pearce said. “If you want a steak or frozen pizza, then you’d have to get a job.”He also suggested Spartan accommodations and strict rules for anyone who received government housing assistance.“Ever live in a military barracks?” he said. “You’ll maintain your property in a clean, good state of repair, and your home will be subjected to an inspection at any time, possessions will be inventoried. If you want a plasma TV or an X-Box 360, then get a job.”Despite his apparent endorsement of draconian policies, Pearce insisted he favored a small-government solution to poverty.

(Link):  AZ Republican Wants to Sterilize Poor Women: ‘If You Want to Reproduce, Get a Job!’

(Link):  Arizona Republican Advises Sterilizing Women On Welfare

Edit. Sept 23, 2014:

(Link): Russell Pearce’s resignation isn’t enough for protestors

(Link):  Top Arizona GOPer Russell Pearce resigns after sterilization comments

  • The far-right former lawmaker who helped push Arizona’s “papers please” immigration law has resigned as a top official with the state GOP after making comments about sterilizing poor women.
  • Russell Pearce, a former state senator, resigned as the party’s first vice chair late Sunday, the Arizona Republican Party announced.
  • On Saturday, the state Democratic Party highlighted comments Pearce made recently on his radio show. Discussing the state’s public assistance programs, Pearce declared: “You put me in charge of Medicaid, the first thing I’d do is get Norplant, birth-control implants, or tubal ligations…Then we’ll test recipients for drugs and alcohol, and if you want to [reproduce] or use drugs or alcohol, then get a job.”
  • The comments were quickly repudiated by Republican candidates for several statewide offices.

—————————————–

Related posts:

OFF SITE:

(Link):  It’s come to this: Planned Parenthood now attacking GOP plans to expand access to birth control

THIS BLOG:

(Link): Why Are Conservatives Forcing Mothers From Their Kids? by M. Walther

(Link):   Family Research Center (Christian group) thinks people (including the Nuclear Family) should be cut off food stamps

(Link):  Judges who Force Insane, Negligent Women, or Addicts to Get Abortions or Undergo Sterilization – Also: Court Ordered Male Sterilization – Being A Parent Does Not Make A Person More Godly, Mature, or Responsible

(Link):  Are Marriage and Family A Woman’s Highest Calling? by Marcia Wolf – and other links that address the Christian fallacy that a woman’s most godly or only proper role is as wife and mother

(Link): Southern Baptists Pushing Early Marriage, Baby Making – Iranians Pushing Mandatory Motherhood – When Christians Sound Like Muslims

(Link):  Baby Making Fixation at Christianity Today Magazine Online – Shaming Women For Not Procreating, or For Delaying Motherhood, or For Limiting the Number of Children

(Link):  Editorial at Christianity Today Actually Suggests that It Takes Motherhood To Make A Woman Become Mature / Also: Homeless Mother Stays In Hotel Room and Makes Her Toddlers Sleep on the Street

(Link):  Conservatives and Christians Fretting About U.S. Population Decline – We Must “Out-breed” Opponents Christian Host Says

(Link): Fox News Channel Guest Encourages Female Host To Quit, Get Married, Have Babies – Look, I’m Right Wing, But Also A Never-Married Woman, and I Find This Obnoxious

(Link):  Christian School Fires Single Woman For Having PreMarital Sex But Offers Her Job to Her Single Boyfriend Who They Know Had PreMarital Sex Too (and similar news stories – Re Christian Employers and Sex)

(Link):  Republicans And Women: Single Women Vote Democratic Because They Wish They Were Married, Pundit Says

(Link): Women in Sao Paulo Must Provide Proof of Virginity to Be Hired as Teachers