Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos
(Post updated below.)
I used to be a gender complementarian, and I wrote about that in (Link): this post. I rejected complementarianism many years ago.
Lori Alexander is an extremist Christian gender complementarian (some may consider her more of a patriarchalist, I suppose) who has a Facebook group and a blog called “The Transformed Wife,” where she dispenses what many consider to be extremely toxic, harmful, and sexist advice to women, which makes most women want to gag or vomit.
Lori Alexander recently wrote a post called something like, “[Men Find] Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos [More Attractive].”
If you are new to my blog, a little about myself, so you can see my qualifications for addressing Mrs. Alexander’s commentary:
I was a conservative Christian for many years and a gender complementarian until around the age of 35. I am currently between the ages of 45 and 50 and am still a virgin (that’s right, I’ve never had sex, not even when I was a college student).
I was committed to the idea of waiting until marriage to have sex, and I never found “Mr. Right,” ergo, I never had sex.
I attended college, which my father paid for (thanks, dad!), so I never had any student debt.
I have a college degree.
I’ve never had any tattoos. I’ve also never drank alcohol, smoked, or abused drugs.
Someone on Twitter posted (Link): these screen captures of posts by Lori Alexander. In those screen caps, Alexander is recorded as writing the following (which I will critique below):
By Lori Alexander (“The Transformed Wife”)
Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men?
Unfortunately, there are so few of these types of young women anymore because of the high costs of college (debt) and sexual promiscuity even within those in the church. [snip URL Alexander cites to her blog post on this subject]
— end Lori Alexander quotes–
A summary of my conclusions and opinions on this matter:
Mrs. Alexander, you are simply incorrect. I am a virgin, I don’t have any tattoos, I have no debt, for many years I was the epitome of the good, godly, sweet, demure, lady-like complementarian, I’ve never identified as feminist – but none of that enabled me to catch a husband, Christian or otherwise. I remain single past the age of 45.
There are no guarantees that a woman will gain a spouse if only she follows a certain set of dating advice or rules, such as… prays for a spouse, “trusts the Lord” for a spouse, follows complementarian teachings, refrains from attending college, or refrains from receiving a tattoo or dabbling in feminism.