Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband

Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband

A couple of days ago, I saw this episode of The 700 Club.

A celibate Christian woman wrote Pat Robertson this question –

And her question is one all Christians avoid: they just scream at a 20 year old today to MARRY NOW NOW NOW!

They have no advice and no encouragement to give any adult over 35 who wants to be married but still finds him or herself single.

The usual Christian response is just to shame this lady for supposedly not having done enough to marry when younger, in spite of not knowing her background, or what she did to try to marry – Christians just arrogantly ASSUME if you are not married past a certain age, it is all your fault, and there were no mitigating circumstances.

So here’s her question to Pat, host of The 700 Club:

  • Dear Pat,
  • The Bible says that it’s better to marry than to burn with lust, but what about someone like me who can’t find someone to marry?

Continue reading “Celibate Christian Woman Asks Christian Host Why God Will Not Send Her a Husband”

Woman Book Author – Andrea Tantaros – Suggests That Single Women Are Miserable And Can’t Get Husbands Because Feminism. My Critique of Her Article / Book

Woman Book Author – Andrea Tantaros –  Suggests That Single Women Are Miserable And Can’t Get Husbands Because Feminism. My Critique of Her Article / Book

(This post has been edited to add several new comments and a link or two)

Aug 2017 – (Link): Author Claims Andrea Tantaros’ Book About How Feminism ‘Made Women Miserable’ Was Ghostwritten by a Man


If you are new to my blog: I am right wing, I don’t agree with most secular feminism, but I do think secular feminism is correct on a point here or there.

This article I link you to farther below is about a book a woman wrote (I believe she is right wing), and it reads like one of those “blame feminism” type works. The book is by Andrea Tantaros, and its title is “Tied Up in Knots: How Getting What We Wanted Made Women Miserable.”

I have not read the book; I have only read the author’s article about the book, which you see linked to farther down the page. I take it that her article is a sort of preview about what one can expect to see in the book.

This article argues that most women got what they wanted (via feminism), and they are miserable as a result: they are not getting men. Women want marriage and are not getting married. The women want to have great careers, but they also want a manly- man who will marry them and sometimes take care of them; they want a partner to share life with.

Continue reading “Woman Book Author – Andrea Tantaros – Suggests That Single Women Are Miserable And Can’t Get Husbands Because Feminism. My Critique of Her Article / Book”

The Single American Woman via NY Magazine

The Single American Woman via NY Magazine

Pretty long article, but very interesting.

Please use this link I’m giving you if you’d like to read the entire page (it’s a little bit farther below).

I am a right winger, have been a Republican my whole life (though the GOP has been annoying me more and more the last few years, but no, I am not fine with the Democrats), and I am a single woman who was raised in a Christian home.

My parents were Christians who had very traditional values.

The one thing I dread when reading articles like this one I am linking to in this post is imagining how my fellow right wingers will react to what it discusses.

Typically, rather than help single women where they are (which is what they should be doing), they will more likely, instead, complain and yell about singleness, about what a shame it is people aren’t marrying as much or not as young as they did decades ago, and yell at single women to run right out and get married immediately.

(One thing these types of idiots overlook is that marrying is not that easy. I’ve always wanted to be married, but I never met the right guy. I am not going to marry just any guy with a pulse just for the sake of being married.)

Anyway, following that initial reaction of my fellow right wingers, they will then, at that point – by “they,” I refer more specifically to the conservative marriage concern trolls among the secular right wingers and the conservative Christians – will write fear-mongering articles (like (Link): this one) to scare single women into marrying the first man they meet who has a pulse.

The fear mongering and pressure by conservatives to scare or cajole women to marry has gotten so bad with right wing marriage concern trolls, that some of them are even directing Christian women to marry (Link): known pornography addicts.

The majority of my fellow conservatives don’t give a rat’s ass about doing anything to assist single women so long as those women are single.

Many conservatives would prefer to sit back in their rocking chair on the front porch, sipping on lemonade, smoking on their pipes, complaining about how times have changed for the worst, and how the nation was so much better back in 1952. They would rather pine away for the so-called “good old days” than to help people in practical ways in 2016 where ever they find themselves in life.

Though I am right wing, I think this author makes a few good arguments against conservative views about singleness and marriage and the roles of women.

(Link): The Single American Woman via NY Magazine

Excerpts:

  • The most powerful voter this year, who in her rapidly increasing numbers has become an entirely new category of citizen, is THE SingleAmerican Woman
  • By REBECCA TRAISTER
  • ….In 2009, the proportion of American women who were married dropped below 50 percent. In other words, for the first time in American history, single women (including those who were never married, widowed, divorced, or separated) outnumbered married women.
  • Perhaps even more strikingly, the number of adults younger than 34 who had never married was up to 46 percent, rising 12 percentage points in less than a decade. For women under 30, the likelihood of being married has become astonishingly small: Today, only around 20 percent of Americans ages 18–29 are wed, compared to nearly 60 percent in 1960.
  • It is a radical upheaval, a national reckoning with massive social and political implications. Across classes, and races, we are seeing a wholesale revision of what female life might entail.
  • We are living through the invention of independent female adulthood as a norm, not an aberration, and the creation of an entirely new population: adult women who are no longer economically, socially, sexually, or reproductively dependent on or defined by the men they marry.
  • This reorganization of our citizenry, unlike the social movements that preceded it and made it possible — from abolition and suffrage and labor fights of the 19th and early-20th centuries to the civil-rights, women’s, and gay-rights movements of the mid-20th century — is not a self-consciously politicized event. Today’s women are, for the most part, not abstaining from or delaying marriage to prove a point about equality.
  • They are doing it because they have internalized assumptions that just a half-century ago would have seemed radical: that it’s okay for them not to be married; that they are whole people able to live full professional, economic, social, sexual, and parental lives on their own if they don’t happen to meet a person to whom they want to legally bind themselves.
  • The most radical of feminist ideas—the disestablishment of marriage — has been so widely embraced as to have become habit, drained of its political intent but ever-more potent insofar as it has refashioned the course of average female life.

Continue reading “The Single American Woman via NY Magazine”

Lonely Sunday: Single Christians and the Church’s Opportunity by K. Beckert

Lonely Sunday: Single Christians and the Church’s Opportunity by K. Becker

(Link): Lonely Sunday: Single Christians and the Church’s Opportunity

Excerpts:

  • … As a pastor who happens to be single right now, I think I can speak for the 45% of the U.S. population who is single right now and say it’s not an easy place to be.
  • … And some of us listen to the culture around us for advice on what to do with that desire. This culture echoes a duplicity of voices, of ways to “handle” singleness, and it shines at us on small screens and big screens.
  • … Marriage is marketed to us as a blissful, everlasting date – not as the covenant it’s supposed to be, but as an item on a shelf to be paid and bartered for. We fall in love with a wedding.

Continue reading “Lonely Sunday: Single Christians and the Church’s Opportunity by K. Beckert”

The Global Flight From the Family – from the WSJ

The Global Flight From the Family

This is from the WSJ. You might have to log in to read the whole thing. I visited their page three different times. The first two times, I was told to subscribe if I wanted to read it, on the third visit, I was granted full access.

As a celibate, middle aged, never married lady who never had kids, I don’t care if marriage rates are falling and people are refraining from having kids. This is another one of those panicked, hand-wringing editorials about how people are not marrying or having kids.

As Melanie Notkin pointed out on Twitter in regards to this WSJ editorial, not all people are deliberately choosing to delay marriage or avoid it altogether – there is a huge number of women who want to marry and have no idea why they’ve never been married.

Such women did not plan on being single and childless into their 30s and older, but there they are – and yet, they get blamed for it, by commentators who assume they intentionally avoided marriage and motherhood, for selfish reasons, or to worship career, or whatever.

These types of editorials almost never mention the scores of women who had planned and hoped on marrying (and/or having children), but it did not pan out for them because they never met a suitable partner.

(Link): The Global Flight From the Family 

Excerpts

  • Much the same has been taking place around East and Southeast Asia for at least a generation. From South Korea to Singapore, China is rimmed by countries where marriage is being postponed or, increasingly, forgone; where networks of extended kin are withering due to extreme sub-replacement fertility; and where childlessness is on the rise.
  • Nowadays about one-sixth of Japanese women in their mid-40s are still single, and about 30% of all women that age are childless. Twenty years hence, by Mr. Kaneko’s projections, 38% of all Japanese women in their mid-40s would be childless, and an even higher share—just over 50%—would never have grandchildren.
  • To be sure, unlike Europe and the U.S., Japan still severely stigmatizes childbearing outside marriage. Childlessness, on the other hand, is socially acceptable.
  • Japanese women are availing themselves of these new choices. Given recent trajectories, demographers Miho Iwasawa and Ryuichi Kaneko project that a Japanese woman born in 1990 stands less than even odds of getting married and staying married to age 50.
  • Contemporary Japanese women have lifestyle options that were unthinkable for their grandmothers, including divorce, separation, cohabitation and remaining single.
  • Lest one suspect that there is something about this phenomenon that is culturally specific to Western countries, we have Japan, whose fabled “Asian family values” are now largely a thing of the past.
  • But it is not primarily driven by the graying of European society, at least thus far: Over twice as many Danes under 65 are living alone as those over 65.
  • The rise of the one-person home coincides with population aging.

Continue reading “The Global Flight From the Family – from the WSJ”

Kerry Shook Marriage Mystery Sermon Series. Singles Ignored AGAIN.

Kerry Shook Marriage Mystery Sermon Series. Singles Ignored AGAIN.

Feb 15, 2015

Oh geeze. Kerry Shook is starting a new series tonight called “Marriage Mystery.”

I’d say the majority of this guy’s sermons are about marriage. Why? When over half of the American population is NOW single, why does he fixate on marriage?

I’ve tweeted Shook before – links to some of my blog posts here pointing out that he preaches on marriage far too much.

Shook offered the (Link):  Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon” line at the start of his sermon.

I am a never-married woman over the age of 40. I will probably never marry. So no, Shook, your endless sermons on marriage won’t or do not help me.

When are you going to present yearly sermon series addressing adult singleness and celibacy? Enough already with marriage, marriage, marriage.

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Related Posts:

(Link): Kerry Shook ‘Shark Weakness’ – yet another marriage sermon

(Link): Pastor Kerry Shook’s Marriage-centric Sermons

(Link): Statistics Show Single Adults Now Outnumber Married Adults in the United States

(Link):  Stop Overlooking Singles in Church By Joy-Elizabeth Lawrence

(Link): Kerry Shook Devotes Yet *Another* Show / Sermon to Marriage

(Link): Kerry Shook on Marriage AGAIN. About not letting your flame die down.

(Link): Shocker: Kerry Shook Show Last Night NOT About Marriage

(Link):  Preacher Whose 90% of Sermons are About How to Have a Great Marriage Warns Audience Not to Make Marriage an Idol – Kerry Shook Update and Irony Alert

(Link): The World Does Not Need More Marriage Sermons – They Don’t Stop Divorce or Get People Married

(Link): The Obligatory, “Oh, but if you’re single you can still benefit from my marriage sermon!” line

(Link):  If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

(Link):  Really, It’s Okay To Be Single – In order to protect marriage, we should be careful not to denigrate singleness – by Peter Chin

(Link):  Are Single People the Lepers of Today’s Church? by Gina Dalfonzo

(Link):  Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless

China’s Brutal One-Child Policy Ruins Men’s Marriage Prospects, Resulting in Human Trafficking

China’s Brutal One-Child Policy Ruins Men’s Marriage Prospects, Resulting in Human Trafficking

(Link): China’s Brutal One-Child Policy Ruins Men’s Marriage Prospects, Resulting in Human Trafficking

  • by SARAH ZAGORSKI   JAN 23, 2015   |   10:29AM
  • (Link): According to the Chronicle Independent, China’s brutal one-child policy is ruining young men’s marriage prospects. This isn’t surprising considering that (Link): 400 million children have been aborted since the policy took effect 34 years ago.In 2013, Adam Minter, a writer for (Link): Bloomberg View, said that the Chinese government reported that 117.6 boys were born for every 100 girls. The normal ratio is 103 to 106 boys per 100 girls.Kinter writes, “In China, daughters are expected to marry up — and in a country where men far outnumber women, the opportunities to do so are excellent, especially in the cities to which so many of China’s rural women move. The result is that bride prices — essentially dowries paid to the families of daughters — are rising, especially in the countryside. One 2011 study on bride prices found that they’d increased 70-fold between the 1960s and 1990s in just one representative, rural hamlet.”
  • …Valerie Hudson, a professor at Texas A&M and Andrea den Boer, a lecturer at the University of Kent in the U.K., also explained how the one-child policy is affecting society.
  • …In the case of China, the fact that a sizeable percentage of young adult males will not be making that transition will have negative social repercussions, including increased crime, violent crime, crimes against women, vice, substance abuse and the formation of gangs that are involved in all of these antisocial behaviors.”
  • …. Additionally, (Link): as LifeNews previously reported, China accounts for 60% of the world’s sex trafficking. Statistics show that in Asian American populations, if a family’s first child is a girl, the gender imbalance ratio is the same for the second child as it is for the first child in China. In the end, the only reason baby girls are not allowed to be born is because they are girls.

Click link at top to read the rest of the article

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Related posts

(Link):  Oil Town Where Single Male Population Vastly Outnumbers Females and they practically rape the women – Reflections on the Christian argument that men will treat women better if women in short supply

(Link):  Diamond too small? Chinese marriage proposals are SO over the top

(Link):  What Two Religions Tell Us About the Modern Dating Crisis (from TIME) (ie, Why Are Conservative Religious Women Not Marrying Even Though They Want to Be Married. Hint: It’s a Demographics Issue)

(Link): Man / Husband Shortage in Hong Kong – just like in American Christian circles

(Link): Interesting (and Disturbing) Editorial On How Males Outnumbering Females Leads to More Violence Against Women – Men Cannot Find Women To Marry, etc (Re Demographics in India, Gender Selective Abortion etc)

(Link): (Article) Young People in Japan Have Stopped Having Sex – sekkusu shinai shokogun – Celibacy Syndrome

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

Single Woman Wants To Know Why She Keeps Picking Losers (Ask Amy)

Single Woman Wants To Know Why She Keeps Picking Losers (Ask Amy)

I related to this lady’s letter to Ask Amy on a few levels. One of which is, I’m an attractive person, educated, intelligent (though you can’t always tell on this blog, because I sometimes write casually or when I’m half asleep), but I can’t seem to attract quality guys (well, years ago I did have a few, but I had zero self esteem back then and did not feel deserving of a great catch).

I’ve also wondered how it is Losers get girlfriends or boyfriends so easily.

I don’t think my ex moved on very quickly after we broke up (I dumped him), but I’ve seen this play out with other people. I have seen people who are idiots, drug addicts, unattractive, whatever, get a new husband or boyfriend IMMEDIATELY after being dumped by someone, or dumping their ex.

Near as I can tell (and Amy agrees with this) is that people who get new sweeties pronto fast are usually not being picky or choosy.

My sister is like this. I’ve never known her to be single for long, but then, she picks different types of losers constantly (my sister will date any man who can fog up a mirror; if it breathes, she will date it), then she would phone our mother up to cry and ask why she couldn’t meet a decent man for a change. I never told her so, but it was because she kept picking losers.

If you want a winner, you will have to resign yourself to being single for weeks, months or years, because as the saying goes, a good man is hard to find. Dirt bags and losers, not so much, especially in this day of Internet, where male morons are a dime a dozen and will send you unsolicited “dick pics” on dating sites.

Letter to Ask Amy:

Dear Amy:

  • I’m a single, childless woman in my early 30s who seems to always attract the wrong men, and I keep wondering how to break this pattern.

Continue reading “Single Woman Wants To Know Why She Keeps Picking Losers (Ask Amy)”

Conservative Jews question notions on dating, marrying only Jews – Equally Yoked

Conservative Jews question notions on dating, marrying only Jews

It’s interesting to see people of other faiths question this (intermarriage).

(Link): Conservative Jews question notions on dating, marrying only Jews

As for Christians, I no longer accept or agree with the “Be Equally Yoked” teaching.

If you’d like to know why I’m no longer on board with it, I have several posts on that topic, including, but not limited to these posts:

If you do a search for the phrase “equally yoked” using this blog’s search feature, you can find even more, similar posts.

I’ve also done posts about Mormon women having problems finding Mormon husbands – there are more Mormon, single women than there are Mormon, single men.

When you tell women it is sin or wrong for them to marry outside of their faith, you are dooming them to a life time of singleness.

And I use the word “doom” there because some religious ladies want very much to marry – I was one. I find myself single past age of 40, however.

I’ve had to learn to grieve and cope with and accept being single, and there were next to no resources for me; I had to find my way alone. Most literature by Christians about singles like me shames and blames me for my singleness, rather than help me navigate my life as it is.

(Link): Conservative Jews question notions on dating, marrying only Jews

A few excerpts:

  • Jan 08, 2015 by Lauren Markoe
  • (RNS) Whether Jews should only date and marry other Jews is not a new question, but it’s one that has come into stark relief in recent weeks.

    In two separate instances in December, groups within Conservative Judaism—the second-largest movement of American Jews—appeared to challenge some of their own rules that discourage interfaith dating and matrimony:

    • A prominent Conservative rabbi asked his Massachusetts congregation to consider allowing him to preside at weddings between Jews and non-Jews, as long as the couples committed to raising Jewish children.
    • The Conservative movement’s youth group adopted a policy that seemed to relax a ban prohibiting its leaders from dating non-Jews.
  • Unlike rabbis in Reform Judaism, the largest American stream of Judaism, Conservative rabbis may not preside at interfaith marriages. Conservative Judaism has stood fast on this, even as it has embraced female rabbis and same-sex weddings and welcomed the non-Jewish spouses of congregants into its synagogues.
  • But Rabbi Wesley Gardenswartz of Temple Emanuel in Newton, Massachusetts, said he floated the proposal because he wanted to keep families connected to his synagogue.
  • … “Jewish tradition says Jewish marriage occurs between Jewish people,” she said. “As rabbis, our role is to teach, inspire, and promulgate that tradition.”
  • … To Rabbi Rick Jacobs, head of the Union for Reform Judaism, the Conservative movement stands at the same crossroads where the Reform stood about a generation ago. As he put it, an increasing number of Jews are recognizing that “intermarriage is a fact of life, as gravity is.”

That paper also contains quotes from conservative Jews who bemoan this (ie, intermarriage) as an affront to Judaism. Christians who are staunchly against Unequally Yoked marriages are the same way.

Once you start putting your religion, or rules, or the institution of marriage, above the welfare and happiness of human beings, you’ve made an idol out of marriage.

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Related:

(Link): When Mormonism Sounds Like Gender Complementarian Christianity – Also: Man Shortage in Mormonism Just Like Christianity

(Link): Should Christian Women Marry Non Christian Men? (discussed at another blog) Be Not Unequally Yoked Dangerous Teaching to Single Christian Women

(Link): ‘Chained wives,’ refused Jewish divorces by their husbands, take to social media

(Link):  Forced Child Marriages in Canadian Jewish Cult

(Link): Forget About Being ‘Equally Yoked’ – Article: ‘My Abusive ‘Christian’ Marriage’ (written by a lady at another blog)

(Link): Wife of Christian Preacher Shoots, Kills Him, Recounts Years of Physical and Sexual Abuse – So Much for the Equally Yoked Teaching and the Notion that Christian married sex is Mind Blowing

(Link): Christian Host Pat Robertson Tells Christian Woman Who Married Christian Man Who Turned Out to Be Totally Unethical That She has Discernment of a Slug – Single Women: toss Be Equally Yoked teaching in the trash can