The Horrible, Sexist Advice And Attitude Behind the ‘How Do I Approach A Girl With Headphones In?’ Post from the Absolute Ability Blog

The Horrible, Sexist Advice And Attitude Behind the ‘How Do I Approach A Girl With Headphones In?’ Post from the Absolute Ability Blog

I’m not a feminist.

But if you spend so much as ten minutes skimming over articles and blog posts about women, especially ones by feminists, you will discover on posts about what turns women off when, how, and why men approach them, that 99.9% of women, who are publicly using headphones, do not enjoy being approached when they have headphones or earplugs in.

Many women on forums and blogs have quite plainly said that they put on headphones in public precisely to use as a “Do Not Disturb Me” sign, as in, “I don’t want men to chat with me, ask me out, or flirt with me right now. I want to be left alone.” (I have a list of links to such comments, editorials, and blog posts farther below.)

But do the guys at this “Absolute Ability” blog below, which appears to be some kind of dating advice or P.U.A. (pick up artist) type site care about women’s stated preferences and explanations for their behavior?

Why no, they do not.

These men assume they know better than women what women want.

So, the short answer to the question, “How do I approach a girl wearing headphones” is – you do not.

(By the way, I am a woman. You can take my word over what men on a blog have to say about women.)

Do not take a woman wearing headphones as a challenge to overcome. It is not.

Do not view a woman’s “no” as an invitation to keep trying, to keep pestering her. Back off.

One clue that anyone and everyone should avoid taking dating or relationship advice from Tony D, is this Tweet on (Link): Tony’s Twitter (this is his Twitter linked to from his dating advice blog):

(Link): Tweet source (@TonyDAbsolute)

The Tweet by Tony reads:

I was sexually assaulted by Obama in the early, no mid, no early 90’s. Can’t remember when, where, how I got there, how I got back, and none of my friends I named remember it, or remember meeting him. But he’s definitely guilty. #touchedbyObama #BrettKavanaugh
–(end quote)–

Regardless of where one stands politically (I am moderately conservative), it shows a great deal of immaturity and insensitivity, and some sexism, to mock any woman who comes forward to say she was sexually assaulted – and note that Tony is also misusing the “me too” hash tag in his tweet.

Any man who thinks it’s acceptable to ridicule an alleged sexual assault victim, to mock sexual assault of women generally, is not a man to be taking dating advice from.

He clearly does not respect women, and if a man wants more success in dating, and if a man wants a lasting, healthy relationship with a woman, he will have to at a minimum, generally respect women.

Tony is also apparently a (Link): fan of Jordan Peterson, whom despite what his admirers think (and yes, I am familiar with Peterson’s work in context), holds to some sexist ideals and is in favor of traditional gender stereotypes for men and women, many of which elevate men at the expense of women.

Tony also tweeted on his Twitter (link) that

This is why the left is losing, and will continue to. They’re bullies and morons. twitter.com/SourcedReports–(end quote)–

Mmm. Now, I am a right wing woman (and yes I do believe that some liberals some of the time can behave like bullies), but Tony’s blog, from what I recall, does not say he is in the business of helping right wing men approach right wing women.

Well, considering that a lot of women are liberals and vote Democrat, how does Tony expect a man of whatever political persuasion, being able to approach  liberal or Democrat women for a date, when he holds them in such low esteem, and I’m sure that attitude would likely color his dating advice?

Or is Tony D. expecting male readers on his blog to approach only conservative women for dates? And how are those single men going to know which women are conservatives, if they’re not, for instance, wearing a M.A.G.A. ball cap?

Continue reading “The Horrible, Sexist Advice And Attitude Behind the ‘How Do I Approach A Girl With Headphones In?’ Post from the Absolute Ability Blog”

Pickup Artists’ Rape Survivor: ‘I Had to Do My Part to Break the Cycle’

Pickup Artists’ Rape Survivor: ‘I Had to Do My Part to Break the Cycle’

These PUA (Pick Up Artist) guys are sexist swine and dirt bags.

(Link): Pickup Artists’ Rape Survivor: ‘I Had to Do My Part to Break the Cycle’

After bringing her rapists to justice, an exclusive interview with a woman who infiltrated the online pickup artist community to investigate her own assault.

by

by BRANDY ZADROZNY | 02.07.17 1:21 PM ET

A woman’s mission to find and prosecute the (Link): men who raped her while she was drunk and unconscious in a downtown San Diego apartment ended this week, after a third man was sentenced to eight years in prison for his role in her attack—the maximum term possible under California law.

Friday’s sentencing of Jason Berlin, 28, wraps up a years-long investigation, undertaken in large part by the victim herself—a woman whom The Daily Beast has called Claire in previous (Link): exclusive reporting on the proceedings—and concludes a first-of-its-kind case that indicted not only Berlin and two co-defendants, 27-year-olds Jonas Dick and Alex Smith, but an entire underground community of so-called pickup artists, whose techniques San Diego Superior Court Judge Jeffrey Fraser likened to a “sophisticated criminal enterprise.”

Continue reading “Pickup Artists’ Rape Survivor: ‘I Had to Do My Part to Break the Cycle’”