Supporting Singles and How Churches Can Help Singles Get Married – Lessons from Match-Making by B. Lea
A caveat here: there are some singles who are happy being single and do NOT want church friends fixing them up with other singles.
Yet other singles do want to be married, but they’d rather not church friends or other Christians fix them up.
The bottom line is, before you try to play match-maker for a single adult you know, ask them for their permission first! They may say yes, but they may say, “no thank you.”
Many Christians – especially married ones (and they usually married in their 20s) are very hesitant to help their single friends get married, especially not in a church setting; they erroneously believe it would be turning church into a “meat market.” I guess they’d rather Christian singles try to meet other singles in bars or night clubs – but given how many pedophiles and creeps frequent churches, maybe that wouldn’t be a bad idea.
At any rate, getting married generally does involve human effort, but most Christians act as though God will just magically make a spouse appear at a single woman’s doorstep.
That’s not how it works.
You married Christians out there should be fixing up your single friends with other singles who would like to get married (with everyone’s permission). Dating sites are not a guarantee.
(Link): Netflix’s ‘Indian Matchmaking’ Offers Wisdom for Christians
Excerpts:
by B. Lea
August 28, 2020
Introducing singles can help build the local church.
…Nearly half of US adults say dating has become increasingly difficult in the past 10 years, according to a new (Link):
study from the Pew Research Center. Perhaps there’s a fresh case to be made for Christian matchmaking.
It is worth clarifying the definition of matchmaking in this context. The process is voluntary…
…It is worth clarifying the definition of matchmaking in this context. The process is voluntary…
Single and Looking
First, who is looking? Only half of single adults (Link):
say they are looking for a relationship or dates, which means that half of our single brothers and sisters are
not looking to date.
The church is not an awkward high school science project with mandatory two-to-a-table assignments.
It is important to affirm people’s full belonging in the broader family of God regardless of their nuclear family status and push against the “marriage is the goal of life” subtext that lies beneath much of contemporary culture.
But for the 15 percent of American adults who are in the single-but-looking category, dating remains hard, especially in the age of the coronavirus, when meeting people through school or work—how more than a third of adults report meeting their partner—is off the table.
The question “I know someone you might really get along with, would you like to be introduced?” could be a welcome and respectful upgrade from the painful “So, are you seeing anyone?” probe at the Thanksgiving dinner table.
…Those who are single and looking report that one of the hardest things about dating is that it’s hard to approach people, and even when you do, it’s hard to find someone looking for the same type of relationship as you. Signing up for Tinder is not the same as signing up for eHarmony, after all.
A thoughtful introduction by a mutual friend who knows you and what you’re looking for can go a long way toward making those challenges less daunting.
Read the rest of that page at (Link): Christianity Today
Related Posts:
(Link): Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will? by Anonymous via Sheila Wray Gregoire
(Link): Lifeway Research: Pastors Encourage Single Adults, Some Provide Targeted Ministries (How Churches Are Ministering to Adult Singles in 2022)
(Link): Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green
(Link): Christians: Please Stop Telling Singles that Their Singleness is “For God’s Glory” / Owen Strachan’s “Being Single To Bring God Glory” Essay
(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): “God’s gifting of singleness is rare”
(Link): To the Christians (especially married ones) Who Like to Instruct Single Christian Adults They Should Only Marry Other Christians, Listen Up (Re: Equally Yoked Rule)
(Link): Do You Need a Partner to Have a Happy Life? by D. LaBier
(Link): According to Pastor – Jimmy Evans – It Takes One Man and Woman Married To Equal A Whole – so where does that leave Christian singles?
(Link): Christians Advise Singles To Follow Certain Dating Advice But Then Shame, Criticize, or Punish Singles When That Advice Does Not Work
(Link): Christian Double Standard – Pray Earnestly For Anything & Everything – Except Marriage?
(Link): Codependence Is Not Oneness: What Christians Get Wrong About Relationships
(Link): Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini
(Link): Husband-Hunting is the Worst Part of a Christian Upbringing – Christianity Made Me Obsessed with Finding a Husband – by B. Ramos
(Link): The Gift of Singleness – A Mistranslation and a Poorly Used Cliche’
(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One
(Link): Thirty Year Old Woman Kills Herself Due to Being Single and Childless – Churches contribute to this by either Ignoring adult singles or shaming them for being single and childless
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