Study (from 2016) Claims Pre-Marital Virginity is Now ‘Antiquated’ – Is Virginity No Longer Virtuous?
I’ve said this numerous times on this blog, but both within Christianity and in secular culture, all sexual preferences and behaviors are tolerated these days (including asexuality), except for hetero adults who choose to remain virgins or celibate.
I don’t recall seeing anything about this study before, and we’re in 2018. I have no idea how over a year has gone by and this story or study never crossed my radar previously – not that I remember.
Not only do I lack sexual experience, but bonus!, I also lack sexually transmitted diseases, genital crabs, I’ve saved a fortune in not paying for lots of birth control, I’ve never had unwanted pregnancies, and I’ve avoided guys using me for sex only to kick me to the curb right after, all thanks to NOT fooling around.
(Nobody ever seems to count or appreciate the positives of being a virgin past one’s 20s.)
Many people are still confusing having sexual activity with being an adult. I’m in my 40s, have never had sex, but I’m an adult. People need to stop assuming it’s necessary to have sexual intercourse at some stage to reach adulthood, maturity, or what have you.
Realize that American culture asks or expects each of us to respect sexuality in any and all its forms, including pre-martial sex, bisexuality, homosexual behavior – but the groups who ask and expect this toleration or celebration never the less refuse to respect the choice by anyone to remain a virgin over the age of 30.
Adult virginity and adult celibacy are the two choices that un-nerve, anger, and confuse the pro-sex types. (And, by the way, I don’t consider myself “anti sex” merely because I was waiting until marriage to have sex.)
Before I get to the rebuttal piece, here is an article about the study, with some excerpts:
(Link): Has virginity lost its virtue?
By Megan Scudellari / MAY 09, 2016
Throughout history, virginity has been a prized quality before marriage. But though it would come as no surprise to many people, the times are a-changin’: A new look at sexual inexperience in the modern age suggests virginity in America has lost its virtue.
Lack of sexual experience is no longer a trait that most people want in a partner, according to researchers at the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction in Indiana. In fact, even virgins themselves did not find other virgins to be attractive partners.
While the findings aren’t great for virgins — suggesting virginity is now a barrier to a new relationship — there is an upside for everyone else. “As a society, we are moving away from judging sex as a negative thing,” says Amanda Gesselman, a postdoctoral fellow at the Kinsey Institute and coauthor of the new study in the Journal of Sex Research.
Gesselman and colleagues surveyed 560 heterosexual adults — both attached and single — about their sexual history and asked if they felt odd or abnormal because of their level of sexual experience. The virgins in the group perceived themselves to be outsiders, stigmatized in society and treated differently due to their inexperience.
But was that stigma accurate or just perception?
The team then turned to an annual national survey on dating and sexual behavior conducted by the Kinsey Institute and funded by Match .com.
The questionnaire asked, “How likely are you to consider getting into a committed relationship with someone who is a virgin?” A majority of the nearly 5,000 single adults were hesitant to do so. Surprisingly, Americans who were virgins were even less likely than non-virgins to want to be in a relationship with a virgin.
Gesselman hypothesized that the stigma stems from a mental archetype of an “involuntary virgin“ — that is, someone who is awkward or a loner and can’t find a partner. To test that theory, she invited a group of 353 young adults to evaluate the profile of a potential mate on a fictional dating website. The profile included the person’s degree of sexual experience and the number of previous romantic relationships.
Even if a virgin had been in many romantic relationships, participants still did not find them as appealing as a sexually experienced individual who had been in fewer relationships, suggesting the archetype of an involuntary virgin isn’t the root of the stigma.
Another reason people may not want to date virgins is because they consider taking someone’s virginity as a big deal and a strong commitment, Gesselman suggests.
Whatever the reason, virginity appears to have shifted from an appealing characteristic to an undesirable one, says Gesselman. But that’s good news for non-virgins, she adds. “Since most people aren’t virgins in adulthood, it’s nice to see that sexual experience is a good thing to have in a partner.”
The rebuttal by M. Hodges:
(Link): Study (from 2016) Claims Premarital Virginity is Now ‘Antiquated’
Posted on Monday, July 11, 2016
by Fr. Mark Hodges
BLOOMINGTON, Indiana, July 5, 2016 (LifeSiteNews) — A new study from the Alfred Kinsey Institute claims premarital sex is so universally accepted and practiced that virgins are considered social misfits stigmatized as undesirable relationship partners.
Published in the peer-reviewed Journal of Sex Research, the study, titled “Has Virginity Lost Its Virtue? Relationship Stigma Associated With Being a Sexually Inexperienced Adult,” found that most participants would be less likely to consider entering into a marriage or committed relationship with a virgin.
…Study co-author Amanda Gesselman says the social mores of abstinence vs. promiscuity have undergone a “generational shift,” which she considers healthy. “People are becoming more sex-positive as a culture,” she explained.
Because the authors assume “sexual debut” occurs “in late adolescence,” they characterize those who remain chaste beyond late adolescence as “being developmentally off-time with first coitus (i.e., not yet engaging in coitus when most same-aged peers have done so).”
Kane Rice, the University of Sydney’s Chair of Gender and Cultural Studies, praised the study. “Prior to this time, notions of virginity indicated a woman’s value and respectability and purity before marriage.” However, “These seem like fairly antiquated notions in today’s more egalitarian climate.”
“Sex is more likely to be understood in terms of … developing emotional maturity,” Rice explained, adding, “Sexual inexperience may indicate that a person is not ready to settle down or that they don’t have the life and relationship skills one might look for in a sexual or romantic partner.”
Jennifer Roback Morse, who founded the Ruth Institute (RI) as an outreach of the National Organization for Marriage, told LifeSiteNews that immediately upon a cursory review, she saw through the authors’ intentions.
“The first thing to notice is the study is from the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender, and Reproduction, where the stated mission, ‘to advance sexual health and knowledge worldwide,’ served as a blueprint for the promotion of promiscuity and perversion, a precursor to the sexual revolution,” she said. “This is where Alfred Kinsey masturbated, took photos of his and others’ genitals, and basically firebombed his students’ natural wall of modesty.”
Morse then dissected the study’s abstract in less than one minute. “Notice the goal is for individuals and society to become ‘more sex positive.’ What does that mean? It’s a made-up word, meaning, ‘Have no conscience about promiscuous sex.’ That’s your tip-off that this ‘study’ is really just propaganda for the sexual revolution.”
The pro-marriage champion explained, “You see, in order to promote and expand the sexual revolution — in order to make what is harmful and demeaning look normal and even good — proponents need to deliver a steady diet of propaganda to their victims.”
Morse then took on the study’s characterization of virgins as “developmentally off-time.” “This basically tells the gullible that since everybody is having sex at the age of 10, if you wait until 12, there’s something wrong with you. You’re ‘off.’ You need to change your value system to conform to the norms of the sexual revolution.”
“While it is true that young people who are virgins often feel out of step with many of their classmates in terms of experience, the Kinsey Institute puts a spin on that, like being a virgin is a bad thing,” the pro-family leader said.
“Rather than tell the truth that Kinsey et al. started an extremely harmful movement, which promises enlightenment yet delivers only lies and disillusion — much like a certain serpent in a certain garden — the message is that virgins should be ashamed of their honor, and hurry up to find someone — anyone — to have sex with.”
“They are promoting the negative stigmatization of virtue,” Morse summarized.
After debunking the study, Morse exposed the true idea behind its conclusions. “The abstract admits, ‘Although abstaining from sexual activity may bestow some health advantages, our studies show that being a sexual “late bloomer” may result in negative interpersonal consequences such as limited opportunities for romantic relationships.’ Yeah, health advantages like no STDs, no sterility … So, in short: ‘Hey all you guys and gals dragging your feet, you need to get on with losing your virginity!’
“That message is ridiculous.”
Also check out:
(Link): People Were Asked to Guess A Virgin From A Group Of Strangers. The Results Were Unexpected
(Link): Annie Murphy’s Sex and Relationship Column Gives Some Fantastic Advice About “Losing Your Virginity” by Princess Weekes
(Link): Craigslist confessional: I’m in my 40s, never married, and a virgin—but I’m happy by Abigail
(Link): ‘I’m SO Glad I Waited To Have Sex Until Marriage. Here’s Why.’ by Classically Abby
(Link): CDC Report: Virgin Teens Much Healthier Than Their Sexually Active Peers (2016 Report)
(Link): ABC Won’t Let Us Forget That the New Bachelor Is A Virgin. Is That A Problem?
(Link): Living Myths About Virginity (via The Atlantic)
(Link): Why Some People Become 30 Year Old Virgins (Article / Study)
(Link): Woman Says She Refuses to Hook-up with Men ‘For Fun’ – Says Most Men She’s Met Are Willing to Wait
(Link): Salon Author Amanda Marcotte Thinks Media Shouldn’t Judge Women’s Sexuality But She Has Mocked Women Over Their Sexual Choices Before (To Remain Virgins)
(Link): On ‘Late’-In-Life Virginity Loss (from The Atlantic)
(Link): Why are young feminists so clueless about sex? by M. Wente
(Link): We’re Casual About Sex and Serious About Consent. But Is It Working? by J. Zimmerman
(Link): I Shouldn’t Need An Excuse To Be A Virgin – (Secular Editorial Defends Virginity – More Rare Than a Unicorn Sighting)
(Link): The Myth of Safe Sex by D. Foley
(Link): The Christian and Non Christian Phenomenon of Virgin Shaming and Celibate Shaming
(Link): Stop Pretending Sex Never Hurts, By D.C. McAllister
(Link): Virginity Lost, Experience Gained (article with information from study about virginity)
(Link): Gonorrhea Super Strain Becoming ‘Untreatable’ (in the UK; may be heading to the USA) – 2015 story
(Link): Planned Parenthood Tells Teenagers “It’s Great to be a Slut” (article contains medical info on how damaging promiscuity can be)
(Link): A Day In The Life Of An Abstinence Ed Teacher by S. Gomez
(Link): 105-year-old virgin says no sex the key to long life
(Link): Hypocrisy: Secular Pundits Judge Christian Sexuality: Josh Duggar’s So-Called Vanilla Sexual Preferences Deemed Dull
(Link): Sometimes Fornication Can Impact Another Relationship Later – One Example
(Link): Christians Who Attack Virginity Celibacy and Sexual Purity – and specifically Russell D. Moore and James M. Kushiner
(Link): Virginity is a Sacred Choice, Not a Shameful Status by C. Martin / Giving Sex to a Man is Not A Guarantee for a Lasting Relationship – Contra Comic Chelsea Handler
(Link): Ramifications of Pre Martial Sex – Sky Diver Husband; Also: Stereotypes About All Men Wanting Sex Constantly and Being Visually Stimulated Disproven Again
(Link): Celibate Shaming from an Anti- Slut Shaming Secular Feminist Site (Hypocrisy) Feminists Do Not Support All Choices
(Link): The Contemporary Church Undervalues Celibacy / Virginity
(Link): Virgins and Celibates are Sexual – Not Asexual and Androgynous – You don’t have to have sex to possess sexuality
(Link): Why Is There Shame Around Being a ‘Relationship Virgin’ by B. DePaulo