What It’s Like To Date After Middle Age by F. Hill

What It’s Like To Date After Middle Age by F. Hill

For the record, I myself am NOT over the age of 50, but this article is mostly about folks age 60 and older.

(Link): What It’s Like To Date After Middle Age by F. Hill

Excerpts:

Newly single older people are finding a dating landscape vastly different from the one they knew in their 20s and 30s.

January 8, 2020

When Rhonda Lynn Way was in her 50s and on the dating scene for the first time since she was 21, she had no idea where to start.

Her marriage of 33 years had recently ended, and she didn’t know any single men her age in Longview, Texas, where she lives.

She tried to use dating apps, but the experience felt bizarre and daunting. “You’re thrust out into this cyberworld after the refuge of being in a marriage that—even if it wasn’t wonderful—was the norm. And it’s so difficult,” she told me.

Way is now 63 and still single. She’s in good company: (Link): More than one-third of Baby Boomers aren’t currently married.

Throughout their adult life, their generation has had (Link): higher rates of separation and divorce, and (Link): lower rates of marriage in the first place, than the generations that preceded them.

And as people are living longer, the divorce rate for those 50 or older is (Link): rising. But that longer lifespan also means that older adults, more than ever before, have years ahead of them to spark new relationships.

Continue reading “What It’s Like To Date After Middle Age by F. Hill”

The 10 Worst Dating Trends of the Decade, From 'Orbiting' To 'Breadcrumbing' (2019)

The 10 Worst Dating Trends of the Decade, From ‘Orbiting’ To ‘Breadcrumbing’ (2019)

(Link): The 10 worst dating trends of the decade, from ‘orbiting’ to ‘breadcrumbing’

Excerpts:

December 2019
BY ANNA IOVINE

The last month of 2019, and thus of the decade, is barreling to a close, and thus it is time to reflect not only the year but the decade in dating.

Romance in the 2010s will go down in history for a myriad of reasons, not least of them the rise of dating apps.

Match and eHarmony had already existed for awhile, but in 2012 Tinder came into the the world and ushered in nearly a full decade of “swiping” and all the consequences that came along with it.

The dating landscape in 2019 is much different than it was in 2009 (incidentally,the year Grindr launched — but that is an entirely different story).

Continue reading “The 10 Worst Dating Trends of the Decade, From 'Orbiting' To 'Breadcrumbing' (2019)”

Duck Seeking Duck: Man Posts Duck Wanted Ad For His Widowed Pet Duck

Duck Seeking Duck: Man Posts Duck Wanted Ad For His Widowed Pet Duck

(Link): Lonesome duck: Dating ad seeks match for man’s grieving bird 

(Link): Duck Seeking Duck: Man Posts Duck Wanted Ad For His Widowed Pet Duck

BLUE HILL, Maine — There’s no Tinder for waterfowl, but that didn’t stop a Maine bird owner from trying to find a match for a mourning duckling.

One of Chris Morris’ ducks, Yellow Duck, lost its mate to a hungry bobcat a couple of weeks ago at Morris’ yard in Blue Hill. Morris, a 31-year-old special education teacher, drew up a singles ad for Yellow Duck and placed it on a community bulletin board at a local grocery store.

Continue reading “Duck Seeking Duck: Man Posts Duck Wanted Ad For His Widowed Pet Duck”

Single or Taken: Why Do We Care So Much? by Haley Nahman

Single or Taken: Why Do We Care So Much? by Haley Nahman

(Link): Single or Taken: Why Do We Care So Much? by Haley Nahman

Excerpts:

Last fall, I had three isolated conversations with single friends that were eerily similar: Being single was fun for a while, they all said, but they were over it.

More pressingly, they felt ready for “the next step” in their lives but weren’t meeting the right people with whom to take it.

Each friend was feeling a distinct resulting sadness.

Continue reading “Single or Taken: Why Do We Care So Much? by Haley Nahman”

The Art of Being Single by E. Bernstein

The Art of Being Single by E. Bernstein

(Link): The Art of Being Single

Excerpts:

March 2019

After Katie Tomaszewski divorced at the age of 28, she felt ashamed to be alone.

So she did what she thought a single person should do: She over-dated, over-worked and over-socialized, inviting friends over for dinner nearly every night because she was afraid of being lonely.

“It was constant socializing and constant distraction,” says Ms. Tomaszewski, now a 36-year-old Pilates instructor in Chicago. “I became desperate and depressed, looking for someone—anyone—to save me from being alone.”

Yes, it can be tough to be single. But a new study published this past December in the Journals of Gerontology offers hope for those who are struggling.

Singles today are more satisfied with their lives than singles in the past, the study found.

Continue reading “The Art of Being Single by E. Bernstein”

Emma Watson on Being “Self Partnered” (Single) – The Editorial Round Up

Emma Watson on Being “Self Partnered” (Single) – The Editorial Round Up

A week or two ago, movie actress Emma Watson declared herself “self partnered,” rather than use the word “single” to describe her relationship status.

Watson got some amount of confusion or ridicule for using that term. As a never-married woman, I found the term a little strange, but hey, if it works for her, fine by me.

I was engaged for several years, from my late 20s into my early 30s. My ex fiance was a self absorbed idiot. I am better off single than in a relationship with a loser like that. 

Anyway, there have been a few editorials defending Watson on this point, such as this one:

(Link): Emma Watson looked shame in the face and won

Excerpts

…”I never believed the whole ‘I’m happy single’ spiel,” she told Vogue in an interview published this week. “It took me a long time, but I’m very happy [being single]. I call it being self-partnered.”

Now anyone might be forgiven for being blindsided by the “consciously uncoupled”-esque vibe of that remark at first glance. Indeed, many outright jeered. “Self-partnering means you can’t get a bloke, right?” suggested British TV host and, we can only assume, self-appointed relationship expert Piers Morgan.

“What’s wrong with being single?” Twitter users demanded.

But isn’t that kind of the point? If society was kinder to single women, and our associations with the word “single” were generally more positive, there wouldn’t be any need for Watson to coin the phrase.

Continue reading “Emma Watson on Being “Self Partnered” (Single) – The Editorial Round Up”

‘I Hate Dating Apps So Much!’ By Heather Havrilesky

‘I Hate Dating Apps So Much!’ By Heather Havrilesky

(Link): ‘I Hate Dating Apps So Much!’ By Heather Havrilesky

Dear Polly,

I’m a huge fan, and I’m so grateful for your writing. There is one area, however, where I think you may have a blind spot, and that is the absolutely terrible plight of trying to find love on dating apps.

Your general advice about the pursuit of love always resonates:
Build a life alone that you love; hold onto your belief that love exists even when it makes you feel vulnerable and uncool; if you meet someone you think you like but they’re tepid or not fully invested, go ahead and tell them to fuck off.

I now read this and think, “Yep, got it, great advice, duly noted.”

My execution is sometimes imperfect, but I remain fully convinced that you are right about these things.

However, that belief doesn’t change the day-to-day, grueling nature of what “being open to love” in 2019 entails.

I am 35 years old, and I have been on and off dating websites or apps for almost a decade.

During that time, I’ve met a very small handful of people I ended up caring deeply for, or felt I could deeply care for, but for various reasons it has never worked out.

Continue reading “‘I Hate Dating Apps So Much!’ By Heather Havrilesky”

The Man Using Equations To Find Love

The Man Using Equations To Find Love

(Link): All you need is maths? The man using equations to find love

Mathematician Bobby Seagull has tried to use numbers to solve his romantic difficulties. Is he on to something?

by Ellie Hunt

They say love is a numbers game. Bobby Seagull – the mathematician who rose to fame as a finalist on University Challenge in 2017 – took them literally.

A few years ago, he sat down to try to work out why he had been so unlucky in life. “I was 32 or 33, I was single, I loved maths and science – I thought: ‘Can I use maths and science to help me?’ It was a genuine, earnest attempt.”

Inspired by Peter Backus – a Manchester University economics lecturer who in 2010 wrote a paper titled Why I Don’t Have a Girlfriend – Seagull used the Drake equation, developed to estimate how many intelligent alien civilisations there might be in the galaxy, to determine his number of potential partners. “You start by assuming there’s infinitely many, then you keep on making the pool smaller and smaller.”

….Numbers have long factored into the dating game, even for those who have a ropey grasp on them. We might wonder, of a couple’s particularly serendipitous origin story: “What are the chances?” Or we might console someone who is unhappily single that “it only takes one”.

Continue reading “The Man Using Equations To Find Love”

High Schoolers Who Don’t Date Are Less Depressed Than Their Counterparts Who Do (2019) Study Says

High Schoolers Who Don’t Date Are Less Depressed Than Their Counterparts Who Do (2019) Study Says

(Link): High Schoolers Who Don’t Date Are Less Depressed Than Their Counterparts Who Do Study Says

Kirsi Goldynia, CNN
Updated 2:45 PM ET, Wed September 11, 2019

(CNN)Dating is a normal part of adolescence — and a formative one at that. Decades of research have suggested a link between romantic relationships and identity development as teenagers mature into young adults.

But a recent study published in the Journal of School Health reveals that adolescents who choose not to date fare as well as, or better than, their coupled counterparts in social and leadership skills.

They’re also less depressed.

Continue reading “High Schoolers Who Don’t Date Are Less Depressed Than Their Counterparts Who Do (2019) Study Says”

New York City Woman Turns 107: ‘The Secret’ Is ‘I Never Got Married’

New York City Woman Turns 107: ‘The Secret’ Is ‘I Never Got Married’ 

(Link): New York City Woman Turns 107: ‘The Secret’ Is ‘I Never Got Married’

Louise Signore celebrated her birthday on Wednesday and credited her long life to staying single

August 1, 2019

A New York City woman celebrating more than a century of life has some advice for other women looking to someday do the same: Don’t become a bride!

“I think the secret of 107 [is] I never got married. I think that’s the secret,” Louise Signore told WCBS with a laugh. “My sister says, ‘I wish I never got married!’ ”

Continue reading “New York City Woman Turns 107: ‘The Secret’ Is ‘I Never Got Married’”

Letter to Advice Columnist: ‘I’m A Virgin Age 55 and I Worry My Life is Wasted’

Letter to Advice Columnist: ‘I’m A Virgin Age 55 and I Worry My Life is Wasted’

I’m less perturbed by this guy’s homosexual orientation and more by his ageism. What is it with older men (LGBT or hetero) who insist on only boinking or dating and marrying much younger people?

And by the way: it’s a sad, sad misunderstanding and misconception by a lot of people that all people (or most) who are virgins or never-married by the age of 30 or 40 are all LGBT. That is not true! I too am a never married adult, am still a virgin, yet I am a hetero. I am NOT LGBT.

(Link): Dear Coleen: I’m a virgin age 55 and I worry my life is wasted

by C. Nolan
July 2019

Growing up in a small village community, I never felt comfortable declaring how I felt and only two or three people know the truth about me

Dear Coleen
I’m a 55-year-old gay man and I’ve known about my sexuality since my teens, but I’ve never had any sexual experiences or relationships with anyone.

I’m still a virgin and I keep my sexuality a closely guarded secret.

Continue reading “Letter to Advice Columnist: ‘I’m A Virgin Age 55 and I Worry My Life is Wasted’”

The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning by B. DePaulo

The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning by B. DePaulo

(Link):  The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning

Excerpts:

Once again, the claim that marriage is greedy has people riled up

July 11, 2019

To everyone who has been rooting for, and working on, the telling of a more accurate and affirming story about single people, and the shattering of myths about married people, there is good news: We are winning.

Continue reading “The War Over Marriage Is Raging; Single People Are Winning by B. DePaulo”

Study Says More American Couples Meet Online and in Bars Now than Through Family, Friends (2019)

Study Says More American Couples Meet Online and in Bars Now than Through Family, Friends (2019)

I think it’s sad, frustrating, and unfortunate for Christian singles who’d like to marry that so many churches and Christians do NOT want to take practical steps to help marriage-desiring singles to get married.

And as this study shows, when that happens, when friends, family, and church community refuse to get involved, people use bars and dating sites.

I don’t understand the Christians who promote the “Equally Yoked” rule and yet won’t help Christian singles who’d like to marry – if you’re an “Equally Yoked” advocate (I am not one), wouldn’t you want to ensure that your Christian single friend marries another Christian, rather than take her chances and dates Non-Christians she meets on dating sites and at night clubs?

(Link): Online dating, now the most common way for couples to meet, is desegregating America

(Link): Our Deepest Fears Realized: Most Couples Meet Online Now

Meeting online is trending upward, and fewer and fewer people are meeting at work, school, or through friends or family.

Continue reading “Study Says More American Couples Meet Online and in Bars Now than Through Family, Friends (2019)”

What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

The following article (book review) from Christianity Today covers several topics about singleness and the church I’ve been pointing out on this blog for literally years now.

One big point it brings up that I have: there are more single Christian women in the church than there are single Christian men. This means if a Christian single female insists upon following the “equally yoked” rule (that states a Christian may only marry another Christian), she will remain single.

If you are a single Christian woman who desires marriage, it is imperative you ditch the ‘equally yoked’ rule. You must learn to judge men based on their character, not what their stated religious beliefs are.

(Link): What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway

Excerpts:

New survey research sheds light on how believers navigate the stickier matters of dating and marriage.

July 10, 2019

Over the years, Christians have produced and read far more books on how relationships and singleness should work than on how these things actuallydo pan out. Vicky Walker’s new book Relatable: Exploring God, Love, & Connection in the Age of Choice, based on a survey of more than 1,400 people, aims to change that.

Walker writes from a more-or-less Protestant British perspective, but American Christians will find much they recognize.

Over the course of 12 chapters and several appendices, Relatable covers everything from the history of marriage to typical teachings on gender roles to, of course, sex. But she also gets into stickier matters like the role of technology and the church’s significant sex-ratio gap—the latter a topic that raises questions of dating outside the faith.

Continue reading “What Christians Really Think About the Church’s Relationship Advice by Anna Broadway”

Missing Tinder Date Woman Found Cut Into 14 Pieces, As Murder Suspect Blames ‘Rough Consensual Sex’ – by S. Lock

Missing Tinder Date Woman Found Cut Into 14 Pieces, As Murder Suspect Blames ‘Rough Consensual Sex’ – by S. Lock

(Link): Missing Tinder date woman found cut into 14 pieces, as murder suspect blames ‘rough consensual sex’

July 2019

A WOMAN who was murdered and found dumped in garbage bags after failing to return home from a Tinder date was cut up into 14 pieces, a court has heard.

Sydney Loofe, 24, was savagely murdered and dismembered before she was found dead and dumped in a field in December 2017 near Edgar, south-west of Omaha, about a month after she disappeared.

Aubrey Trail, 52, and his girlfriend Bailey Boswell, 25, have been chargedwith her murder.

Continue reading “Missing Tinder Date Woman Found Cut Into 14 Pieces, As Murder Suspect Blames ‘Rough Consensual Sex’ – by S. Lock”

People Using Tinder and Other Dating Apps Are ‘More Likely to Develop Eating Disorders, Take Laxatives or Use Steroids’ To Get Bodies Like ‘Unrealistic’ Celebrities

People Using Tinder and Other Dating Apps Are ‘More Likely to Develop Eating Disorders, Take Laxatives or Use Steroids’ To Get Bodies Like ‘Unrealistic’ Celebrities

(Link): People Using Tinder and Other Dating Apps Are ‘More Likely to Develop Eating Disorders, Take Laxatives or Use Steroids’ To Get Bodies Like ‘Unrealistic’ Celebrities

Excerpts:

May 2019

People who use dating apps such as Tinder may be up to 27 times as likely to use drastic or unhealthy techniques to try and stay slim.

Deliberately vomiting, taking laxatives and even using anabolic steroids is more common among dating app users, a study found.

Researchers found ‘unrealistic’ desires to look like celebrities on television and social media are driving people to damaging behaviour.

Continue reading “People Using Tinder and Other Dating Apps Are ‘More Likely to Develop Eating Disorders, Take Laxatives or Use Steroids’ To Get Bodies Like ‘Unrealistic’ Celebrities”

Unmarried and Childless Women Are the Happiest: 2019 Study

Unmarried and Childless Women Are the Happiest, Happiness Expert Claims

(Link): Women are happier without marriage and children, says new study

Behavioural scientist Paul Dolan says it’s time we reevaluated what success really means

(Link): Wondering why unmarried women without children are happiest? Listen to mothers and wives

Child-free women know that expecting something outside of yourself to bring happiness is a sure-fire way to end up disappointed

Continue reading “Unmarried and Childless Women Are the Happiest: 2019 Study”

It’s Not Too Late, And You’re Not Too Old

It’s Not Too Late, And You’re Not Too Old

I saw a Tweet by a lady the other day who said she is in her late 50s, that she would very much like to be in a serious relationship (she’s tired of being single, I think), and she was feeling discouraged because her friends are telling her that she is ‘too old to have a serious relationship at her age.’

No, she isn’t, and no, it’s not.

First of all, may I suggest that if you are constantly surrounded by recurrently negative friends and family, and ones who complain a lot and are fault-finders, who do things like talk negatively about your hopes, dreams, and goals, who tell you that your dreams will never come to pass, that you begin by limiting your time with these people?

Research has shown that it’s better for your mental health and increases your chances of success at whatever your goal is if you more often than not surround yourself with regularly positive people, and ones who support you and your goals.

If you are someone going through a difficult time right now, whatever your situation is, it’s not true that “you are too old” or “it’s too late” for your goal or dream in life.

This is for you.

(Link): Don’t Give Up On Your Dream

(Link): This Bride Found Love and Got Married At Age 93

(Link): 80 Year Old Bride Marries for First Time in Nursing Home

Continue reading “It’s Not Too Late, And You’re Not Too Old”

What Happened When Chonda Pierce Tried Online Dating

What Happened When Chonda Pierce Tried Online Dating

Pierce is a Christian stand-up comic.

There is an embedded audio file on the web page I am linking you to:

(Link): What Happened When Chonda Pierce Tried Online Dating

When it comes to comedy and faith, Chonda Pierce is unashamed.

Her bold, tell-it-like-it-is style has audiences begging her for more stories, and she delivers in the new documentary, Unashamed, in theaters May 7 and 9.

“It’s interesting, my life right now,” Pierce shares in a new interview. “I have my third documentary, and I’m still alive. You know, usually they do documentaries for dead people.”

Continue reading “What Happened When Chonda Pierce Tried Online Dating”

Dating App Horrors: The Untold Story | A&E

Dating App Horrors: The Untold Story | A&E

The A&E channel is airing a program about people (mostly women) who have been raped, robbed, or murdered by men they met for dates via dating sites.

From what I gather so far about this program, the show is high lighting that dating sites are not legally responsible for your safety, nor do they care to be, and there are all sorts of crazies and violent people using these dating sites.

By the way, one of the serial rapists mentioned on this show was a married man – so much for the conservative think tank and Christian propaganda that marriage makes people “better” or more responsible and ethical.

(Link): Dating App Horrors: The Untold Story | A&E

(Link): Dating App Horrors – About

(Link): Match.com predator stabbed a woman who dumped him after they dated for just 10 days then drew up a ‘kill list’ and murdered another girlfriend he met online: TV show explores the dark side of finding love on an app

-After Mary Kay Beckman’s partner died, she decided to go on Match.com
-Through the site, she met Wade Ridley and they went on a few dates in 2010
-After 10 days, she decided to stop seeing Ridley and moved on
-In January 2011, Ridley attacked her, stabbed her 10 times and left her for dead
-In February 2011, Ridley murdered Anne Simenson, another woman he met on a dating app
-Beckman’s story is part of an upcoming episode, ‘Dating App Horrors: The Untold Story’

(Link): Georgia woman recalls meeting serial rapist from dating app in doc: ‘He just looked like a normal, nice guy’

by Stephanie Nolasco

Kelly couldn’t have predicted that a clean-cut, charismatic suitor she met on a dating app was a serial rapist living a double life.

Continue reading “Dating App Horrors: The Untold Story | A&E”