Divorce Coach Shares 4 Reasons Women Are Happier Than Men After A Marriage Ends by A. Blogier

Divorce Coach Shares 4 Reasons Women Are Happier Than Men After A Marriage Ends by A. Blogier 

I will NOT be copying the entire list to my blog post here – I am copying only TWO of the four points from the page.

In years past, I’ve heard or seen various Christian book authors or preachers bring up the un-biblical point that a single adult is not “whole,” sharing the false teaching that it takes a man married to a woman to be a whole person. Aside from the fact that the Bible teaches no such thing – if it were true, we’d not expect to see so many divorces.

But we do see couples divorce.

Many women actually “lose” themselves in a marriage, especially if their partner is a narcissist or some other type of abuser – these married women have to LEAVE their husband (divorce) to become WHOLE again, to find themselves, to figure out who they are.

Yes, in singleness and solitude, you can figure out who YOU are, what YOUR values are, what YOUR goals and dreams in life are, and what YOU want to do with your life.

You cannot usually find those traits, goals, and dreams in a romantic relationship with another person, where you’re attuned to their needs and wants all the time. Sometimes, to be whole, you have to be un-married, you have to be single!

(Link): Divorce Coach Shares 4 Reasons Women Are Happier Than Men After A Marriage Ends

Excerpts:

Divorce doesn’t always equal heartbreak.
By Alexandra Blogier
Written on Mar 28, 2024

…Divorced women reported feeling significantly happier than even their baseline level of happiness, for up to five years after ending their marriages.

Here are 4 reasons women are happier than men after a divorce, according to a divorce coach:

1. Women are more likely to get into therapy
Leah Marie Mazur is a divorce coach who specializes in helping people recover after the upheaval caused by ending a marriage.

In a recent TikTok, she referenced the Kingston University study, which found that women are more likely than men to seek professional support for emotional traumas during the divorce process.

This could be based on the various stigmas that surround mental health struggles. In a world where men are told that expressing their emotions makes them weak, they might hesitate to process whatever pain they’re experiencing.

Mazur highlighted how asking for help after a divorce is an act of self-care and love. “Not reaching out for support prolongs your suffering,” she added.

I’m a Real-Life 40-Year-Old Virgin – Here’s the Truth About Why I’ve Never Had Sex by K. Karruli

I’m a Real-Life 40-Year-Old Virgin – Here’s the Truth About Why I’ve Never Had Sex by K. Karruli

Having sex or being married, dating, or in some other type of romantic relationship, is just not a priority for some people, or, some people would like to marry but never met the right person, so they remain single.

All of which is to say, if you’re not having sex, if you’re chaste, or if you’re single, all of that is okay.

Yes, it can be frustrating or hurtful if you’re single but had hoped to be married, but don’t let anyone shame you for being single, or for being sexually abstinent, or for not dating, or for not wanting to date.

Also be aware that being married is not a guarantee of happiness or meaning.

I have many examples on this blog taken from news articles and advice columns of married couples who admit to being unhappy in their marriages because their spouse ignores them, chronically invalidates them, or, they find out their spouse is a pedophile, or a serial adulterer, or their spouse is abusing them.

Furthermore, remember that marriage should not be a pathway to find identity or purpose.

You should be figuring out who you are on your own, and not relying on another person to define you.
If you go through life that way, you will in fact attract a lot of mentally disturbed or violent people, ranging from Borderlines, to Narcissists, to Sociopaths, who will make your life worse, not better.

(I am quite serious about that. If you’re looking to others for meaning, identity, or validation, there are mentally disturbed people who will pretend upfront -in befriending or dating you –
at wanting to fulfill those needs for you, but once you’re really in the relationship (usually months or a year or more into it),
they will begin to with-draw those functions and start emotionally or physically abusing you, or else neglecting you, while conditioning you to meet all of THEIR needs while they’re ignoring yours and abusing you.)

(Link): I’m a real-life 40-year-old virgin – here’s the truth about why I’ve NEVER had sex

Excerpts:

• • The unnamed man, who is based in the US, took to Reddit to reveal he’s a virgin
  • He said that his lack of interest in having sex started at puberty
  • People on the web  flooded the comments section and asked him questions

by Kelsi Karruli
13 March 2024

A real life 40-year-old virgin has candidly opened up about the real reasons he has never had sex in a candid Q&A forum online.

The anonymous man, who is based in the US, took to Reddit to dish about his lack of interest in sex and why he ‘doesn’t care’ if he is ever intimate.

In a thread titled, ‘Ask Me Anything,’ the ‘semi-retired’ entrepreneur explained that from a young age, he never was interested in relationships because they had ‘limited return’, so he never lost his virginity.

He revealed that he never had any inclination to pursue things further with women, adding that the majority of his ‘relationships’ never made it past the ‘first or second date.’

He wrote: ‘I’m the real 40 year old virgin, ask me anything. I turned 40 two weeks ago, ask away.’

33 Year Old Man Kills 19 Year Old Woman On Their First Date, Dismembers Her Body

33 Year Old Man Kills 19 Year Old Woman On Their First Date, Dismembers Her Body

updates below – April 19, 25 2024 – her torso and one of her arms washed up recently on a beach – second update: the pervert loser had a sex dungeon in his basement

(Link): Milwaukee man, 33, allegedly dismembered teen college student, 19, after seafood date night: ‘Sick son of a bitch’

A Milwaukee man allegedly murdered a college student after a date and then dismembered her body with a saw and spread the remains across the city, according to court documents.

Maxwell Anderson, 33, was charged with murder on Friday for allegedly killing 19-year-old Sade Carleena Robinson, who vanished after excitedly heading out for a date allegedly with him on April 1, according to CNN.

Robinson was studying criminal justice at Milwaukee Area Technical College.

She reportedly chatted with an employee in her apartment building about how excited she was to be going on a date that night, according to a criminal complaint against Anderson. …

Workers at the Twisted Fisherman restaurant confirmed the pair dined there on April 1 before heading to a downtown bar.

Robinson’s phone indicated she went to Anderson’s home after 9 p.m., the Milwaukee Journal Sentinel reported.

After midnight her phone began to ping at several locations across Milwaukee, before finally dying around 4:30 a.m. near the beach park where her severed leg was discovered. …

(Link): Teen girl went on date with man, 33, then her dismembered remains were scattered in Milwaukee, family demands justice for Sade Robinson

April 14, 2024

A teen girl went on a date with a 33-year-old man, and a day later, her dismembered remains were scattered around in Milwaukee. The mother of the murder victim is passionately demanding justice for their slain daughter.

Sade Carleena Robinson went on a date with Maxwell S. Anderson on April 1. A building secretary informed police that Robinson told her on April 1 that she was excited for a date that night. ..

(Link):  ‘Who the f— would do something like this to my beautiful baby?’: Man arrested after woman’s leg found in lake following first date, cops say

by David Harris
April 14, 2024

A first date turned deadly when a man allegedly killed a woman and proceeded to dismember her body and dump the parts in Lake Michigan.

Prosecutors in Milwaukee County on Friday charged 33-year-old Maxwell Anderson with first-degree intentional homicide, mutilation of a corpse, and arson of property other than building.
He’s accused of killing 19-year-old Sade C. Robinson, dismembering her body and later torching her car to hide evidence, the Milwaukee County Sheriff’s Office said.

Robinson’s mother Sheena Scarbrough told reporters after Anderson’s first appearance in court on Friday that he is a “sick son of a b—-.”

How Spending More Time Alone Could Boost Your Wellbeing: Solitude Is Beneficial and a Lack of It Can Lead to a Problem Called ‘Aloneliness’

How Spending More Time Alone Could Boost Your Wellbeing: Solitude Is Beneficial and a Lack of It Can Lead to a Problem Called ‘Aloneliness’

I’m not a supporter of evolutionary biology, but articles like this can be interesting.

(Link): Loneliness Beyond Friendship: What Brain and Biology Tell Us

Recent research shows that loneliness is similar when people spend 75% of their time alone or 75% with others.

Much of loneliness is therefore explained by perceptions, suggesting a need for deeper friendships.

Evolutionary biology and social neuroscience perspectives say people need to live in supportive communities.

Loneliness may be about lacking the “social resources” we have evolved to expect from communities.

(Link): How spending more time alone could BOOST your wellbeing: Solitude is beneficial and a lack of it can lead to a problem called ‘aloneliness’, a fascinating new book reveals

Excerpts:

…It may surprise many people to learn that the average adult spends nearly one third of their waking life alone, and even more as we get older.

According to the Global Change Data Lab, based in Oxford, which looked at trends from 2009 to 2019, 15-year-olds, on average, spend 200 minutes a day on their own. By the time we hit 80, that time increases to 500 minutes (just over eight hours) a day.

The number of people living on their own is higher than at any point in history and, in general, fewer people in wealthy countries are marrying or living in a cohabiting union.

In 2021, the proportion of one-member households in the UK ranged from about 26 per cent in London to 36 per cent in Scotland. Only around 5 per cent of the population lived in one-person households before 1911.

Whether people ended up living solo by chance or choice, that trend is seen by some as a crisis of wellbeing and the unravelling of our social fabric.

Commentators in the journal World Psychiatry in 2021, for instance, noted warnings of society suffering ‘an epidemic of loneliness’ or a ‘loneliness time bomb’.

In fact, feeling lonely is an intrinsic part of our nature.

Older Adults Who Never Got Married Are Revealing The “Myths” About Being Single Later In Life That More People Should Know

Older Adults Who Never Got Married Are Revealing The “Myths” About Being Single Later In Life That More People Should Know

I will not be pasting in all entries on the page below, only some of them. If you’d like to see every single entry, then please use the link below to the BuzzFeed page to read them all.

(Link): Older Adults Who Never Got Married Are Revealing The “Myths” About Being Single Later In Life That More People Should Know

Excerpts:

by Liz Richardson

We recently shared a post where older married adults revealed the “marriage myths” that more people should know, and their insights gave an honest and insightful look into marriage.

So, for another perspective, we asked the older adults of the BuzzFeed Community who never got married to tell us the “myths” about being single later in life. Here are the eye-opening results:

1. “I think the biggest myth is that we are all sad and lonely, filled with regrets and scared no one will take care of us when we are old. At least for me, I value my alone time and independence and know I have many good friends who would help me out if I needed help. I don’t need a husband or kids to feel fulfilled, and I have zero regrets.”

—travelcat147

3. “One common myth is something must be wrong with you if you’ve been single or never been married. The truth is my long-term relationships were so horrible (two relationships equaling 20 years) that I decided to be single and see what happens.

“During that time, I had so much peace in my life and completely focused on myself and my son. I have no regrets about doing it because it nurtured my growth and happiness.”

“I traveled and explored different career paths. At some point, I also wanted to have a partner to travel with and have some fun with. This is when I decided to join the dating pool but quickly realized that there were more negatives than positives.

“Very few are looking for meaningful relationships and are just interested in a more casual situation. It may be a symptom of dating platforms and the quality has deeply suffered. I’m still in it but contemplate being off of it every day. Single may just be enough.”

—52, California

7. “Myth: You will meet ‘the right one some day.’ It always makes me bristle when I am told that.

You see, it implies that my life won’t be complete until I meet ‘him,’ the ‘right one.’ That somehow my life’s mission is to find my missing piece, and then, I will be able to live a full life.

“I’ve always known that to be malarky. My life is whole. There is no missing piece. I am not waiting for someone ‘right’ or dodging someone ‘wrong.'”

“In fact, I am not waiting at all. I am living my best life, not alone or lonely. Marriage doesn’t determine my happiness — I do. No pun intended”

—44, Maine

Older Women Don’t Want to Live With Their Male Partners. Here’s Why – by V. Larson

Older Women Don’t Want to Live With Their Male Partners. Here’s Why – by V. Larson

Older Women Don’t Want to Live With Their Male Partners. Here’s Why

Excerpts:

They’re just not interested in giving up their sense of freedom to have companionship

by Vicki Larson

A rift is emerging between single older women and the men they date, according to a recent Globe and Mail article. Increasingly, 60-something men are discovering that women their age are all in for having a male partner, but they just don’t want to live with them, preferring to be LATs — live apart together partners. As one 70-something woman quoted in the article says, “I don’t want to take care of anybody. I want to take care of me.”

… But they’re [older single women are] just not interested in giving up their sense of freedom to have all that, adamant that they were “willing to be lonely before sacrificing independence.”

… That older women overwhelmingly would rather be alone than give up their independence is a sure sign of who has historically benefited more from “traditional” marriage.  …

(Link): The new reality of dating over 65: Men want to live together; women don’t

Excerpts:

by ZOSIA BIELSKI

…D’Alfonso’s push-and-pull with his partners reflects a rift emerging between single women older than 65 and the men they date. Increasingly, these men are encountering resistance from older women who want their own lives, not a full-time relationship

…Some of these women completely forego dating while others opt for “living apart together” (LAT) arrangements, in which partners in committed relationships choose to keep separate residences.

…Now, divorce is driving the trend: the share of separated or divorced seniors living alone more than tripled between 1981 and 2016, according to the agency.
Increasingly it is personal choice – not death – that sees senior-age women going it alone, with 72 per cent reporting they were highly satisfied living on their own, according to data from the 2017 General Social Survey.

Romantic Relationships Turn Off Women More Than Men by Bella DePaulo

Romantic Relationships Turn Off Women More Than Men by Bella DePaulo

(Link): Romantic Relationships Turn Off Women More Than Men

Excerpts:

Women with previous romantic partners are more likely to want to stay single.

Updated April 3, 2024

Marriage and romantic relationships are relentlessly celebrated in the US and other nations. In popular culture, romantic plots are ubiquitous. Characters who love being single and want to stay single – I call them “single at heart” – are rare. …

[Previous studies have shown that more people are not interested in obtaining romantic relationships]

… How Previous Romantic Relationship Experience Matters in Opposite Ways for Men and Women

…For those who did have previous romantic relationship experience, the results were exactly the opposite. Women were more likely than the men to say that having a romantic partner was not at all important.

Among those who had previous romantic relationship experience, but had never been married, more than 40 percent of the women said that having a romantic partner was not at all important, compared to just over 20 percent of the men who said the same thing.

Among those who had previously been married, more than half of the women (about 55 percent) said that having a romantic partner was not at all important, compared to just over 30 percent for the men

My Date’s Behavior Was So Gross I Had to Walk Out by A. Shaffer

My Date’s Behavior Was So Gross I Had to Walk Out  by A. Shaffer

(Link): My Date’s Behavior Was So Gross I Had to Walk Out

by Annie Shaffer
Feb. 11, 2024

I went on a terrible date recently.

We met on a popular dating app. I don’t recall too much about his profile, but I only match with men who have something of substance written, have a career, and appear to be looking for something serious. So I know he had that at the very least.

But within five minutes of getting there, he was putting his hand on my knee, and he leaned in and tried to kiss me. I just gave him the cheek.

I was repulsed. I felt so uncomfortable. In hindsight, I should have just left right then.

He made several hyper-sexual comments about me. I remember he commented on boobs a few times; that he likes big boobs and was glad I have them. I understand most men probably think things like this on a date—but they never say it!

I kept thinking each thing he said would be the last comment like that because of my horrified reaction. But no, he kept on with this nasty behavior.

Finally, I had to say: “Listen. This isn’t OK. We just met. I prefer a man who wants to get to know me and respect me. You need to stop touching me, trying to get close to me, making sexual comments about my body—it’s not OK.”

Instead of being a good guy and saying was sorry and thanking me for letting him know he was making me feel uncomfortable, he just became a sourpuss and so nasty for the rest of the night.

He pretended like I was the issue. He said I have intimacy problems. He also asked: “What do you bring to the table then?” Insinuating that if I’m not letting him touch or sexualize me, then what is my value to him?

The date lasted another 20 minutes or so before I excused myself. I thanked him for his time but let him know we weren’t compatible and I had no desire to see him again—and then I just left.

He wanted me to come back to his place. He acted tough when I excused myself, like he didn’t care. But he did—he texted me two minutes later.

After making a TikTok about this experience, I did an experiment. I downloaded a popular Los Angeles kink app. I was curious to see who was on there; who is trying to meet people by aligning on sexual preferences and desires so openly.

Well, as you can probably guess, he was on there—along with a few other men that I recognized from similar dating experiences.

I’m not saying that everyone on a kink app is like this man—grabby, inappropriate, overtly sexual—but my worst dates in LA all had profiles on the kink app. I think that says something.

Tinder Matched Me With My Dream Date – Then He Asked Me to Pay His $376 Electric Bill by A. Klausner

Tinder Matched Me With My Dream Date – Then He Asked Me to Pay His $376 Electric Bill by A. Klausner

Good on her for turning this guy down and blocking him!

Had this been me, many years ago, I might have actually given him the money, back in my severe Codependent days, where my mother and the faith tradition (Baptist) raised me (and all girls and women) to be doormats, to allow others to use us, because we were taught that having boundaries and looking after our own self-interest was “selfish.”

It’s common for people with Narcissism or Sociopathy to test your boundaries early on in a relationship, to see how much they can abuse or exploit you before you break things off.

If this woman had given him this money he was asking for, I can about guarantee you he would start asking her for more and more money as time goes by – and he has no intent of paying any of it back.

I was engaged to a guy for a few years (back in my 30s), who, though he way out-earned me, was financially exploiting me.
And I knew he was exploiting me, but I felt I could not tell him “no” any time he asked me for money, because dear old Codependent Mom and the garbage Baptist, Protestant evangelical interpretation of the Christian faith I was raised in taught me that saying “no” for any reason would be “mean” and “selfish.”

(Link): Tinder matched me with my dream date — then he asked me to pay his $376 electric bill

by A. Klausner
Feb 29, 2024

She pulled the plug on that one.

A woman who felt an electric connection with a Tinder match was turned off when her potential Mr. Right randomly asked for nearly $400 — to pay his energy bill.

Kendra Roxberry, 29, said she’d been seeing a “charming” man named Josh for several months before he suggested the two of them go out to a nice dinner.

After being assured “the budget doesn’t matter,” the mom-of-two from Pittsburgh picked a pricey seafood restaurant, with the assumption that the man’s “finances would be in order,” she told Kennedy News and Media.

A week later he sent Roxberry, who works as a nurse, an entirely surprising message.

Could he have $376, in order to “get his lights turned back on,” he wanted to know.

Is It Really Happy Every After? Singles are JUST as Happy or Even Happier Than Married Couples, Researchers Say by X. Leatham

Is It Really Happy Every After? Singles are JUST as Happy or Even Happier Than Married Couples, Researchers Say by X. Leatham

(Link): Is it REALLY happy ever after? Singles are JUST as happy or even happier than married couples, researchers say

Feb. 23, 2024
by Xantha Leatham

Marriage does not make people any happier or healthier than singles, research suggests.

Scientists examined the physical and mental health of married people and those who never said ‘I do’.

Getting married showed ‘little evidence’ of improving wellbeing in the long term, University of California researchers said.

Dr Bella DePaulo, who led the study, expands on the findings in her book Single At Heart: The Power, Freedom And Heart-Filling Joy Of Single Life.

A study by the author, which was published in 2016, says: ‘The media, and even scientific journals, are filled with claims that marriage is good for health and well-being.

A closer look at the research, though, with an eye on the methodological biases, shows that such claims often misrepresent or exaggerate the results of the research.’

Article: What Happens To Christian Influencers When They Get Married? (They Act Like Marriage Gives Them a License to Become Salacious)

Article: What Happens To Christian Influencers When They Get Married? (They Act Like Marriage Gives Them a License to Become Salacious)

If you’ve visited this blog before, you may be surprised to discover I rarely go to You Tube and look up videos about Christian views on singleness, marriage, dating, and sex. I also don’t visit TikTok much.

All of this means I’m not hip to all the dopey, no doubt annoying, cloying, Christian or goody two shoes Mormon channels and accounts that pertain to dating, singleness, marriage and sex.

It does seem that some of these religious influencers who emphasize abstinence are being a little inappropriate, weird, and hypocritical upon marriage by doing a sharp turn into “sex positive” content.

And you know, as a life long celibate, let me tell all the married religious people out there: while the Bible is fine with sex within marriage, it is salacious to go on and on about it the way these influencers do, or the way pastors like Mark Driscoll do in their sermons and videos.

If you’re a pastor, maybe keep the “sex tips” type garbage behind closed doors, for married couples only, so that singles don’t have to hear “45 saucy ways for a wife to give her husband a blow job” messages in church sermons or Christian podcasts (because you know these sexists will never expect the men to perform cunnilingus).

This doesn’t mean that single Christian adults cannot or should not be allowed to discuss sex or sexuality, but I’d say, partition it off, so that the singles discuss those topics from the singleness perspective, rather than force your singles to sit through sermons for married couples about “why and how married sex is hot and steamy.”
It’s insensitive, tasteless, and stupid, like making your friend who is on a diet sit and watch you eat a big piece of chocolate cake.

(Link): What Happens To Christian Influencers When They Get Married? 

Excerpts:

by Kelsey Weekman
BuzzFeed News Reporter
Posted on July 6, 2022

….There’s no shortage of influencer couples doing vaguely sexy gags on the platform, but this post was a striking departure from Beal’s former content.
For 12 years, she encouraged single people to avoid all sexual content (including, for example, watching TV shows and Instagram Reels that mention sex) on Girl Defined, the Christian lifestyle blog and YouTube channel she shares with her sister Kristen Clark.
After first going viral in 2021 about how she saved her first kiss for her wedding day at 30, Beal pivoted to content about sex, like selling a $12 PDF with tips for wives on how to talk about it.

Beal and Clark’s content was predominantly known only in Christian circles until YouTuber Cody Ko shared a video of himself and Noel Miller reacting to videos from the Girl Defined YouTube channel such as “Is It OK to Be Obsessed With Guys?” and “Six Guys You Shouldn’t Date, Court, or Marry.” As a result, Redditors and YouTubers called Beal and Clark out as promoters of harmful purity culture.

Beal is one of several purity influencers who are now posting sexual content after years of posts encouraging abstinence and shame around premarital sex.
Bailey McKnight, a 22-year-old Mormon who skyrocketed to YouTube fame with her identical twin Brooklyn, shifted to selling vibrators after getting married last year. Chelsea Hurst used to dispense “Christian teen advice” on avoiding sexual situations, and now she’s made multiple videos about her “first time” with her husband, which she described as “joyful … not painful.”

…It’s not necessarily inconsistent for Christian women who talk about not having sex before marriage to then start talking about sex after marriage. But the change can be jarring for some followers who are used to the influencers’ pro-abstinence messaging, and the swerve typically happens without any explanation of the transition.

Tinder and Hinge Dating Apps Are Designed to Addict Users, Lawsuit Claims

Tinder and Hinge Dating Apps Are Designed to Addict Users, Lawsuit Claims

(Link):  Tinder and Hinge dating apps are designed to addict users, lawsuit claims

Excerpt:

There may be a reason so many hopeful singles on dating apps say they bank hours a day on the platforms swiping and scrolling without great results.

Match Group-owned apps including Tinder and Hinge are designed to addict users and lock them “into a perpetual pay-to-play loop,” according to a proposed class-action lawsuit, filed in California district court on Wednesday — Valentine’s Day.

The hidden algorithms that drive users’ addiction to the apps run counter to the company’s claims that its products are meant to help people find and establish offline relationships. Hinge markets itself as an app that’s “designed to be deleted.”

Six plaintiffs allege the apps violate consumer protection and other laws, and are purposefully addictive, with Match “doing everything in its power to capture and sustain paying subscribers and keep them on-app.”