Supposedly Woman-Honoring and Pro-Marriage Focus On the Family Group Wants Wives to Blame Themselves If or When Their Husbands Commit Adultery – Re: Book: ‘How God Used the Other Woman,’ by Tina Konkin

Supposedly Woman-Honoring and Pro-Marriage Focus On the Family Group Wants Wives to Blame Themselves If or When Their Husbands Commit Adultery – Re: Book: ‘How God Used the Other Woman,’ by Tina Konkin

I have some new developments in my personal life that have kept me busy the last month or two, which is why I’ve not been blogging as often.

During this time, I do recall seeing comments on other people’s blogs and on Twitter, about some idiotic, sexist, stupid book that “Focus On The Family” was recommending or selling.

Here is a page about the book by Tina Konkin that created an uproar:

(Link): How God Used “the Other Woman”: Saving Your Marriage After Infidelity via Focus On The Family site

Excerpts about that book from the site:

In How God Used “the Other Woman,” Konkin shares how she and her husband Ron saved their marriage after his affair and fought to make it better than ever before.
——

I am horrified to see that this Tina Konkin works as (or claims to be) (Link): a “relationship expert.”

This awful book of hers is also being sold at Wal-Mart.

From what I can recall, it’s a book for Christian wives that tells them how to approach their husband or their marriage if and whenever their husband should commit adultery,
and their view is that you, you Christian wife, should blame yourself for  your husband’s adultery, don’t hold him accountable, and just write off the situation as a learning experience.

Below you will find a few links or videos to work by other people refuting such a disgusting viewpoint.

Before I get to those resources, though, I wanted to point out how utterly hypocritical these conservative secular and conservative Christian groups are, who proclaim they respect women, and marriage, and The Nuclear Family. Continue reading “Supposedly Woman-Honoring and Pro-Marriage Focus On the Family Group Wants Wives to Blame Themselves If or When Their Husbands Commit Adultery – Re: Book: ‘How God Used the Other Woman,’ by Tina Konkin”

No One Told Me Exactly What to Expect From Menopause. But the Messages I Did Get Were Very Wrong by D. Steink

No One Told Me Exactly What to Expect From Menopause. But the Messages I Did Get Were Very Wrong by D. Steinke

(Link): No One Told Me Exactly What to Expect From Menopause. But the Messages I Did Get Were Very Wrong

Excerpts:

I was 50 when I woke in my dark attic bedroom in Brooklyn, my heart speeding and my body incandescent with heat. I did not feel simply hot, no, I was being smothered by an internal fire that seemed to pool inside my body like lava.

At first I thought it was a heart attack.

After more flashes, over my morning bowl of oatmeal, as I rode the subway under the East River and while I taught, I realized it was not a heart attack. It was a hot flash.

I had entered menopause, that fraught transition in every woman’s life, known in an earlier time as The Dangerous Age.

Earlier life stages, going through puberty and giving birth, had opened up new worlds, the excitement of sexuality and motherhood.

But menopause arrived without absorbing directives. Instead of new obsessions and responsibilities, I felt a nothingness.

It’s a void created in part by our oversexed patriarchal culture, a world that has little respect for older women.

Valued most for our sexuality and role as mothers many women feel, once that phase is over, as I did. Marginalized. The message, never stated directly but manifesting in myriad ways, is an overwhelmingly nihilistic one: your usefulness is over. Please step to the sidelines.

…..I searched for books that might help me understand what was happening to me. I read Suzanne Sommers’ The Sexy Years and Gail Sheedy’s Silent Passages.

Both are fear-based.

Both authors are frantic to keep the veneer of a fertile femininity intact.

Continue reading “No One Told Me Exactly What to Expect From Menopause. But the Messages I Did Get Were Very Wrong by D. Steink”

A Man Allegedly Shot A Baby In The Head After Her Mom Rejected Him At A Party by B. Sacks

A Man Allegedly Shot A Baby In The Head After Her Mom Rejected Him At A Party by B. Sacks

Here is an example of Toxic Masculinity – a phenomenon that many conservatives either misunderstand or believe does not exist. (Note to any new-comers: I am a conservative. I am not a liberal, but I do agree with liberals and feminists that Toxic Masculinity is real.)

(Link) A Man Allegedly Shot A Baby In The Head After Her Mom Rejected Him At A Party

June 2019

The 10-month-old girl had surgery Sunday to remove bullet fragments from her skull. The suspect has been charged with attempted murder.

A man allegedly shot a 10-month-old baby in the head after her mother rejected him at a party, police said.

Officials in Fresno, California, say 23-year-old Marcos Antonio Echartea had continuously hounded Deziree Menagh at a party Saturday night.

Echartea allegedly met the 18-year-old woman the week before and, when he ran into her at the gathering, tried to grab her hand.

Continue reading “A Man Allegedly Shot A Baby In The Head After Her Mom Rejected Him At A Party by B. Sacks”

Problems With the Article ‘Tony Evans warns Satan attacking biblical manhood; society on ‘precipice’ of disaster’

Problems With the Article ‘Tony Evans warns Satan attacking biblical manhood; society on ‘precipice’ of disaster’

The article I will be addressing in this post:

(Link): Tony Evans warns Satan attacking biblical manhood; society on ‘precipice’ of disaster

Excerpt:

Evans told CP that until manhood is properly defined, culture cannot be saved.
—///—

I am a (Link): former gender complementarian, so I understand the outlook of a Tony Evans and guys like him, and many of the assumptions that are made about culture and gender roles, but these are views that I no longer share.

Gender Role malarky aside, one of my biggest problems with the views of Tony Evans brought forth in this article is that he is of the mindset -like many Christians are- that culture can or should be saved.

He further thinks that teaching Christian gender roles is the way to go about it.

As I’ve stated many times previously in other posts, the Bible says that Jesus Christ alone saves, and he saves on the individual level.

He doesn’t save groups or cultures.

Continue reading “Problems With the Article ‘Tony Evans warns Satan attacking biblical manhood; society on ‘precipice’ of disaster’”

Indian Women’s Rights Campaigner Says Porn Driving Surge in Underage Girls Being Raped

Indian Women’s Rights Campaigner Says Porn Driving Surge in Underage Girls Being Raped

Seems that about once a week, every week, I see a most horrendous title go through my Twitter feed, not just of women and girls being raped, but brutally so: they may be decapitated after being raped, or, there was a serial rapist who was breaking the legs of little six or eight year old girls prior to raping them.

And what do these news headlines have in common?

They all take place in India.

There are sexists and rapists ’round the world, but the brutality of the rapes and the commonality of it seems more prevalent in India. What the hell is going on in India that this happens, and that it happens so frequently?

I am sick and tired of “third wave feminists” defending sexist shit that hurts girls and women, such as pornography (they love to erroneously argue that porn is “empowering” for women – no, it’s not), and they actually argue in favor of prostitution.

(Link): Indian Women’s Rights Campaigner Says Porn Driving Surge in Underage Girls Being Raped

Exclusive: Rukmini​ Rao says many young girls and women are not properly educated about the definition of consent

by M. Oppenheim

An Indian women’s rights campaigner has said a surge in underage girls being raped can be attributed to the rise in men watching porn but condemned the decision to introduce the death penalty for such crimes.

Dr Rukmini Rao, who has campaigned for increased punishment for rape and the recognition of domestic violence, argued the growing popularity of porn was driving not just underage rape but also marital rape.

Continue reading “Indian Women’s Rights Campaigner Says Porn Driving Surge in Underage Girls Being Raped”

Introducing LoveSync, A Device For Telling Your Partner You Want Sex Without Speaking To Them – Perfect Solution for Doormat Complementarian Wives!

Introducing LoveSync, A Device For Telling Your Partner You Want Sex Without Speaking To Them – Perfect Solution for Doormat Complementarian Wives!

(Update below)

Complementarians falsely believe that women do not want, desire, or enjoy sex – they assume that only men want sex (see Doug Wilson, Mark Driscoll and others).

Further, many complementarians (see John Piper as one example) believe it is wrong for women to be direct when communicating, because a woman being blunt with a man may hurt that man’s male ego.

(Complementarians brainwash Christian women into thinking that being  Codependent is “Godly.”)

So, what is a randy, passive, doormat complementarian wife to do if she’s in the mood? I guess she can try this product:

(Link): Introducing LoveSync, A Device For Telling Your Partner You Want Sex Without Speaking To Them 

Excerpts:

February 2019
By Madison Malone Kircher

Are you in a relationship where you have sex with another person? Great.

That’s nice for you, if you’re into having sex with other people. Are you a little fuzzy on how to ask said other person if they’d like to have sex with you? Here’s a refresher.

You ask them.

You use words — spoken, typed, sky-written — and ask your partner if they are feeling likewise horny. If they consent … then you have sex.

Continue reading “Introducing LoveSync, A Device For Telling Your Partner You Want Sex Without Speaking To Them – Perfect Solution for Doormat Complementarian Wives!”

Five Behaviors That Seem ‘Normal’ But Could Be Signs Of Emotional Abuse by Kelsey Borresen

(Link): Five Behaviors That Seem ‘Normal’ But Could Be Signs Of Emotional Abuse by Kelsey Borresen

Excerpts:

Emotional abusers “groom” victims using kindness and affection. They win you over, then they turn on you.

Unlike physical abuse, (Link): emotional abuse can be subtle and can often go undetected by victims, as well as their friends and family.

In the early stages of dating, an emotional abuser often acts in ways that (Link): appear caring, loving and attentive — at least on the surface. This is part of the perpetrator’s “grooming process” — or a time where they use charm and flattery to make you believe they’re kind and trustworthy.

“That ‘kindness’ is designed to win over the trust and confidence of an unsuspecting victim, making them vulnerable to subsequent abuse,” saidLisa Ferentz, a licensed clinical social worker and educator specializing in trauma.

(Link): Emotional abuse may include (Link): behaviors such as threatening, insulting, shaming, belittling, name-calling, (Link): gaslighting and (Link): stonewalling, which are done in an attempt to chip away at the victim’s independence and self-esteem so the abuser can gain control in the relationship.

Continue reading “Five Behaviors That Seem ‘Normal’ But Could Be Signs Of Emotional Abuse by Kelsey Borresen”

Dear Advice Lady: My Boyfriend is a Fattie and I Feel Like His Mom

Dear Advice Lady: My Boyfriend is a Fattie and I Feel Like His Mom

About the letter below that some woman in a troubled relationship wrote to an advice columnist:

I just love how so many men fool themselves into thinking that women don’t care about what men look like – because we do.

This is ten times more true in Christian culture, especially within churches and denominations that teach that sexist, idiotic “complementarianism” drivel, where the pastors will browbeat the women to stay thin and pretty because supposedly all men are visually “wired by God”
(note: no, they’re not; men are socially conditioned by culture, including Playboy magazine, on what to find attractive in women),
so Christians guilt and pressure Christian women into starving themselves and being obsessed with their looks.

Continue reading “Dear Advice Lady: My Boyfriend is a Fattie and I Feel Like His Mom”

Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex

Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex

(Link): Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex – Raw Story Site

(Link):  ANONYMOUS EX-CHRISTIANS OPEN UP ABOUT THEIR DAMAGED SEX LIVES

Excerpts from Raw Story site:

In a confessional piece on The Feed, ex-evangelicals lamented the oppressive influence their faith had on their sex lives and personal relationships with their partners, saying they were haunted by feelings of guilt and shame.

As pointed out by Hemant Mehta at the Friendly Atheist, former fundamentalist Christian Ruby Bisson (Claire) who writes about Christianity at The Gravity of Guilt, has been compiling stories told her by her readers who detailed not only how their deeply-held religious beliefs crippled their sex lives, but the lingering effects after they lost their religion.

According to one anonymous woman, “I can’t orgasm because I can’t relax. I’m literally thinking about hell. It’s been three years since I left Christianity but I can’t shake the thought that a guy who isn’t a Christian just wants me for my bod and I project that insecurity onto him. This is ultimately what ended my only two relationships.”

She then admitted how she tried to make it work.

“I made him pretend he was religious and didn’t want to have sex,” she explained. “I had to convince him it was a good idea. I made him pray at the end of the bed. Through that role play I was able to be the other person and that power allowed me not to freak out.”

Another former Christain said that she spiraled into a world of pornography at the age of 12, that left her secretly living in “shame and self-hatred.”

Continue reading “Ex-Evangelicals Admit Their Religion Killed Their Love Lives: I’m ‘Literally Thinking About Hell’ During Sex”

The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism

The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s  Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism

Updated:

Lori Alexander has posted this (unhelpful) clarification of her post (about “Debt Free Virgins with Tattoos”) on an ultra-conservative political forum:

(Link): Godly Men Prefer Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos – by Lori Alexander, on Free Republic

Her new aspect is to add the word “Godly” prior to the word “Men,” as if that makes it less obnoxious or wrong, but it does not.

I used to lurk at the Free Republic site, back in my more conservative days, but I’m not surprised to see most of the posters under Alexander’s post on that site actually agreeing with it.

Of course they do.

I’m still a conservative, but I’m no longer off the reservation about it, as the Freepers are on some things, like on this topic.


The Unfortunate Anti- Virginity Fall Out Due to Lori Alexander’s “Debt Free Virgin” Post

If you’d like more background to this post, and an explanation for who Lori Alexander is, please see my previous post about it here:

(Link): Reflections On Lori Alexander’s Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos

If you are new to my blog, a recap:

I am over 45 years of age and still a virgin.

I was reserving sexual activity for marriage. I’ve never had sexual intercourse. I was expecting to be married but never found Mr. Right.

I do have a libido.

Contrary to what Christians ASSUME about older virgins, Celibacy, being sexually abstinent for as long as I’ve been, is not “a gift” where God granted it to me and supernaturally removed my libido and makes it easy-breezy to cope with.

For many years, I was dedicated to remaining a virgin until marriage, due to Christian ethics, (these days I’m semi-agnostic), but also due to other reasons as well, which I shall not get into here but have explained in older posts on the blog.

In the last ten or so years, I’ve seen a disturbing trend where secular, liberal feminist views about sex have trickled into liberal Christian corners, where there is much railing against “slut shaming” and there is strong opposition to judging any woman for her sexual behavior or choices.

This trend became so common that these same views, disturbingly, began appearing on liberal Christian blogs and sites, whose progressive, feminist, Christian authors began writing editorials saying virginity is of no import, God only cares about your heart and spiritual purity, and God does not care so much anyone’s sexual behavior, (Link): intact hymen, or sexual past.

This anti- sexual purity thinking (which includes the down-playing, condemning, or mocking of physical virginity and adult celibacy) has even crept into mainstream moderate- to- conservative churches and Christian writing and thinking, unfortunately.

Continue reading “The Unfortunate Anti-Virginity Fall-Out from Christian Misogynist Lori Alexander’s Wacky “Debt Free Virgins Without Tattoos” Post – The Problem is Not Supporting Virginity, It’s Complementarianism”

Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson

About me and this blog:

If you are new to my blog: I have been a conservative my entire life. I’ve never voted Democrat. I was a Republican until a few years ago. I am no longer in any political party.

I sometimes critique secular, left wing feminists on my blog (such as but not limited to (Link): this post and (Link): this one), but there are times when I believe other conservatives get feminists wrong, and feminists are actually correct on some issues.

I was brought up in a traditional values, conservative, Christian family where my parents brought me to Southern Baptist churches as I was growing up, where I was taught to believe in gender complementarianism, which I did for many years, until I finally realized how (Link): wrong and sexist complementarianism is.

Because I grew up as a complementarian, I am quite familiar with what they think and why they think as they do.

My current religious beliefs are somewhat “up in the air,” as I am waffling between being agnostic, (or a deist), and the Christian faith. (Note: I am not an atheist.)

I am by no means anti- Nuclear Family, anti- motherhood, or anti- marriage, though I do posit that many to most conservatives – especially the religious ones – have gone to un-biblical lengths and have turned the Nuclear Family, marriage, natalism, and motherhood and fatherhood into idols which is wrong of them.

— end introduction to me and this blog —

I saw a link to this essay go through my Twitter feed today:

(Link): Advice for Incels by Kevin D. Williamson

On one level, this essay – “Advice for Incels” was okay.

However, I think that while the guy who wrote it has his heart in the right place, I think he gets a lot of things wrong and is naive about how Baptist and conservative Protestant and evangelical churches are for adult singles.

I’ve spent the last several years on this blog covering these topics – I’d encourage Williamson and anyone who read his NRO piece to read the books  (Link): “Singled Out” by Field and Colon and  “Quitting Church” by Christian author Julia Duin for even more information.

Continue reading “Thoughts on the NRO Essay “Advice For Incels” by Kevin D. Williamson”

Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships

Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships

(Link): Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships

By Meera Jagannathan, Moneyish

Clinging to male dominance won’t do your relationship any favors.

Men who buy into the Sigmund Freud-coined “Madonna-Whore dichotomy” — i.e., viewing women as either “good” and chaste or “bad” and promiscuous — are more likely to embrace a “patriarchy-enhancing ideology” and feel less satisfied in romantic relationships, a recent studypublished in the journal Sex Roles found.

“These men may have difficulties feeling attracted to the women they love, or loving the women to whom they are sexually attracted, leading to chronic dissatisfaction in their romantic relationships,” lead author Orly Bareket said in a statement.

Continue reading “Men Who Believe ‘Madonna-Whore Dichotomy’ Have Less Satisfying Relationships”

Horrible Sexist Blog Post from John Piper’s Desiring God Site: ‘Husbands Get Her Ready for Jesus’

Horrible Sexist Blog Post from John Piper’s Desiring God Site: ‘Husbands Get Her Ready for Jesus’

My Twitter acquaintance Teresa R. first sent me a Tweet of this stupid complementarian based essay which is on Desiring God’s site and was written by one Bryan Stroudt, who should feel so embarrassed by this that he should stop blogging for six months or more.

Soon after Teresa sent me a tweet of this, I started seeing references to it pop up all over the internet, by Christians who felt it was terrible.

Here it is with reflections of how awful it is below, by me and by others:

(Link): Husbands, Get Her Ready for Jesus  by Bryan Stoudt

Here are a few excerpts from Stoudt’s work, before we get to the corrections of it:

(In which Stoudt discusses how Christian husbands – being the “male head” – should correct their wives and prepare their wives to meet Jesus):

A Call to Correction

It’s crystal clear: God calls husbands to be instruments of his sanctifying work in the lives of our wives.

…Just as Jesus set his church apart from sin through his sacrificial, loving death on the cross, husbands are to do everything in their power to promote their wives’ holiness.

This can take many forms. We can pray for our wives, read the Bible with them, and make space for them to pursue meaningful spiritual friendships with other women.

Continue reading “Horrible Sexist Blog Post from John Piper’s Desiring God Site: ‘Husbands Get Her Ready for Jesus’”

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag and Bob Who Detracts (Part 1.3)

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag and Bob Who Detracts (Part 1.3)

Part 1 | Part 2 | (Part 3)

Regarding the Tweets by a person named Bob‏ (Twitter handle: @JustBobThx) to Dee.

You can view several Tweets that Bob sent to Dee under Dee’s first Tweet (Link): here. I will be referring to those tweets through the remainder of the post.

In the midst of conservative, complementarian Christian men, such as (Link): Tim the Bible Thumping Wing Nut (his screen name) and Fred Butler mocking women sexual harassment and sexual abuse victims by way of the Twitter hash tag “Me Too,” and and (Link): Ricky Masuer  defending said aforementioned mockers, Bob jumped in to dress down Dee, who was responding to the sexist tweets.

Here is a text copy of one of his tweets:

Replying to @wartwatch (wartwatchis Dee) @JeffTheGK (JeffTheGK has been on Dee’s side in this debate)
Bob said:

Is that so. Here’s [he includes screen captures of other people’s tweets] 1 of ur many pro- LGBT buddies in ur “we stand against abuse” club. Waiting 4 ur outrage. Better get writing a blog 2 warn ppl. This is degrading, disgusting, & vile. Ur CONSTANTLY telling GOBC 2 call out their own-so go ahead & do it urself. @Biblethumpingwi ///

Bob is quite simply trying to change the subject.

(Bob later gripes and complains about gender egalitarian Jory Michah and rants about abortion).

The issue that initiated all this dialog was (Link): Tim (aka “Bible Thumping Wing Nut”) ridiculing the sexual harassment or sexual assault of women via the “Me Too” twitter tag.

The subject was not about LGBT topics or Christian gender egalitarian Jory Michah.

Bob, because he is sexist but probably thinks he’s NOT sexist, needs to read my (Link): Post 2 about Rick Mauser, as well, at least the portions of that post under the headings of

  • BIBLICAL PATRIARCHY
  • CHRISTIANS SEXUALIZE GIRLS AND WOMEN, NOT JUST SECULAR CULTURE
  • SEXISM EXAMPLES
  • SEXISM IN THE FORM OF UNCONSCIOUS BIAS

My Views

I have been a conservative over the duration of my life.

I have been pro-life on abortion, and I always voted Republican (though I am no longer Republican. In the last few years, I have come to realize that the Republican Party is either similar to the Democratic Party in some ways, or it has its own set of flaws).

As far as LGBT issues are concerned: I believe the Bible says that homosexual behavior is sinful, but, I’m rather “libertarian” on the topic – if two adults of the same gender want to get it on, it’s not hurting me, so I do not care what they do.

However, I do not generally support liberal, social justice warriors who want to do things such as sue Christian bakers out of business for refusing to bake wedding cakes for homosexual weddings. (I am open to being persuaded otherwise on this topic.)

I do not support things such as LGBT people bullying porn actress women (Link): who refuse to have sex with homosexual men. Liberals definitely get some things wrong.

I am definitely not a liberal.

BOB’S SEXISM AND “PASTRIX”

Bob is sexist.

Bob uses the sexist derogatory term “Pastrix” (which I believe was coined by sexist radio Christian host Chris Rosebrough) to refer to women pastors, or to women who write blog posts about theology.

(I refer you again to (Link): Bob’s posts in this Twitter thread to see for yourself).

If you want to have a respectful dialog with someone on the subject of whether women should be allowed to be preachers in churches or not, that’s all fine and good, but there is no reason to use sexist, disrespectful terms such as “Pastrix” in the process.  Continue reading “Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag and Bob Who Detracts (Part 1.3)”

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag (Part 1.2)

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag

Part 1 | (Part 2)| Part 3

This post contains salty language. If you are a snail, you might want to stay away.

Part 2.

To get you up to speed, if you skipped part 1

I myself am right wing and do not refer to myself as feminist either – however, I also despise sexism, no matter where it comes from, right wing or left wing.

Reminder, if you skipped part 1:

Here is the tweet containing a screen shot of two Christian men, “Bible Thumping Wing Nut” (Twitter handle: @Biblethumpingwi) and Fred Butler (Twitter handle: @Fred_Butler),  mocking the “Me Too” twitter tag, which women have been using to share their experiences of being sexually assaulted or sexually harassed on jobs:

Bible Thumping Wingnut’s tweet says,

Today a female security guard referred to me as “love”. #MeToo I don’t feel safe anymore. ///

Fred Butler replied:

Was she hot? ///

Note that both men, and the several who replied to defend those two, were ridiculing a serious issue: the (Link): “Me Too” tag began after sexual abuse and harassment stories (Link): about movie producer Harvey Weinstein broke.

This should be apparent to all, but it’s lost on those who are paranoid of the “Me Too” hash tag, of women wanting male accountability for male sexual misbehavior against women:
All sexual misconduct against women is wrong, A-L-L of it, whether it’s considered more serious – such as rape – or not as serious – such as cat-calling, or groping, or unwanted flirtation.

It’s not cute, appropriate, or funny to mock a hash tag that is being used by women to discuss their experiences with sexual abuse or harassment.

Some of the women using that Hash are Non-Christian women, and if or when they see the insensitive tweets by so-called Christian men mocking their rapes and abuse, such as published by Tim or Fred Butler, they will want no part of Christianity. Maybe that is what Tim and Fred really want.

Part 2 – RICKY MAUSER

I jumped in under one of the Tweets prompted by the complementarian Christian men who were mocking the “Me Too” hash tag, to make a comment or two earlier today (I began composing this post on Dec. 7, 2017) to Mr. Bible Thumper Wing Nut, and some guy named “Ricky Mauser” left me a few comments in return.

I don’t think Ricky Mauser is the sharpest tool in the shed, which will become clear to anyone reading along, as I discuss his objections.

Continue reading “Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag (Part 1.2)”

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag (Part 1.1)

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag  (Part 1.1)

(Part 1) | Part 2 | Part 3

In this post, I will mainly be discussing the insensitive, sexist tweet by a guy calling himself “Bible Thumper Wing Nut” (whose real name is Tim?), and Fred Butler’s participation. I’ll start by addressing Butler first, then move on to Tim who posts under the name “Bible Thumper Wing Nut”.

In part 2, I will be addressing Ricky Mauser’s replies to me, and, later, perhaps, maybe in a part 3, tweets from a Bob‏ (Twitter handle: “@JustBobThx”) to Dee.

I’d be very surprised if the Christian men in this Twitter conversation were not complementarian.

I seriously doubt they are egalitarian or would refer to themselves as “feminists”.

(I myself am right wing and do not refer to myself as feminist either – however, I also despise sexism, no matter where it comes from, right wing or left wing.)

First, here is the tweet containing a screen shot of two Christian men, “Bible Thumping Wing Nut” (Twitter handle: @Biblethumpingwi) and Fred Butler (Twitter handle: @Fred_Butler),  mocking the “Me Too” twitter tag, which women have been using to share their experiences of being sexually assaulted or sexually harassed on jobs:

Bible Thumping Wingnut’s tweet says,

Today a female security guard referred to me as “love”. #MeToo I don’t feel safe anymore.

Fred Butler replied:

Was she hot?

Note that both men, and the several who replied to defend those two, were ridiculing a serious issue: the (Link): “Me Too” tag began after sexual abuse and harassment stories (Link): about movie producer Harvey Weinstein broke.

This should be apparent to all, but it’s lost on those who are paranoid of the “Me Too” hash tag, of women wanting male accountability for male sexual misbehavior against women:
All sexual misconduct against women is wrong, A-L-L of it, whether it’s considered more serious – such as rape – or not as serious – such as cat-calling, or groping, or unwanted flirtation.

Although I am a conservative, I am absolutely appalled at the number of other conservatives or libertarians who think women and girls should just ignore, accept, or overlook “less serious” sexual harassment offenses.

Cat-calling may not be “as bad” as rape – but it is still bad. And no, no female should have to put up with it.

Unwanted flirtation is a form of sexual harassment, so no, it’s not acceptable when men do this to women.

Continue reading “Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 2 – Christian Men Mocking the “Me Too” Sexual Assault and Harassment Twitter Tag (Part 1.1)”

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 1 – Married, Family Values Ralph Shortey’s Sandwich Shirt

Complementarian Christians Do Not Think Women are of Equal Worth to Men – Case 1 – Married, Family Values Ralph Shortey’s Sandwich Shirt

My Twitter friend Teresa sent this my way:

(Link):  VIDEO: Republican politician Ralph Shortey who hired an underage male prostitute greeted cops in a novelty Bible verse T-shirt – via Twitchy

The video the page is mentioning shows Shortey answering the cop’s knock on his door, where he’s wearing a t-shirt that says ‘Ephesians 5:22‘ on it, there’s a drawing of a sandwich under it, and under that,  the shirt also says, “Now go make me a sandwich.”

According to the articles, Shortey was a family values politician, and he is married with four children.

Shortey was caught by cops with an underage male prostitute in his hotel room, along with a bottle of lotion, open box of condoms, and sex texts to the boy on his electronic devices.

After I copy these other links to news articles about it, I will explain what this has to do with complementarianism:

(Link):  Oklahoma police release body cam footage of former state senator caught with underage male

(Link): Bodycam footage shows moment Republican pol was busted in motel room with 17-year-old boy

Bodycam footage from Oklahoma police shows the moment they found a Republican state senator in a motel room with a 17-year-old boy.

Two-term state senator Ralph Shortey, 35, pleaded guilty to a federal charge of child sex trafficking last week after an investigation found the married father of four offered a teenage boy cash in exchange for “sexual stuff.”

 [Photo caption on the page]:
Shortey answered the motel room door wearing a T-shirt citing the Bible verse Ephesians 5:22 — which urges wives to submit to their husbands — with the words “now go make me a sandwich” emblazoned below.(MOORE POLICE DEPARTMENT)

…Shortey, who served as Trump’s Oklahoma campaign chair, was also wearing a T-shirt citing the Bible verse Ephesians 5:22 — which urges wives to submit to their husbands — with the words, “now go make me a sandwich” emblazoned beneath.

COMPLEMENTARIANS SAY WOMEN ARE EQUAL IN WORTH NOT IN ROLE

If you grew up complementarian (as I did (Link): but am no longer), you should be well aware that their motto is that they think that “women are equal in value or worth to men, but not in role.”

That motto is how they attempt to dodge the obviously unfair and sexist church rules where they do things such as forbid women to preach or lead in churches or in marriages.

But dang if they don’t try really, super hard to convince everyone who doubts their sincerity of supporting women that they are not sexist.

Complementarians reassure every one constantly that they don’t think women are below men, or believe sexist stuff like women are dumber than men, or women only exist to do stereotypical things for men, like be barefoot, pregnant, in the kitchen making sandwiches.

But isn’t in interesting that in spite of their insistence to the contrary, that the men in the complementarian, conservative movement, at the end of the day, find it appropriate or cute to wear a shirt with a sexist take on (Link): Ephesians 5:22 on it?

Complementarians put a spin on their sexist biblical interpretation to try to convince the public, or women taught to live under this garbage, that no, they’re not saying that they think women are second class citizens who are “second banana” to men, intended by God to be nothing but personal servants to men to engage in housework.

Complementarian actions, however, do not match their rhetoric.

Complementarians may say they think women are of “equal worth” to men, but here we have a man, who’d I’d bet anything is complementarian, thinking it’s funny to wear a t-shirt with a sexist twist of Ephesians 5: 22 upon it – proof that complementarians really do not believe their own advertising of “equal in worth, just not in role.”

If complementarians really and truly believe that women are equal to men in worth to God, why do we find them making sexist, degrading Ephesians 5:22 shirts, selling such shirts, or wearing them?

If complementarians want to explain that shirt is not representative of their position, then how is it that the t-shirt maker and the man who wore the shirt, understand their interpretation of Ephesians 5:22 in such a manner? I think it’s because it’s plain and obvious to anyone that complementarian interpretation of the Bible is in fact sexist.

You have to ask yourself, if you are a complementarian, how is it that any man would take the complementarian interpretation of a verse such as Ephesians 5:22 and think it’s acceptable to slap a drawing of a sandwich on it along with “now go make me a sandwich.”

If your complementarian message consists of the point that women are equal in worth to men, then I would assume I could expect to see this man wearing a shirt saying more along the lines of,  “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.” But he is not wearing a shirt with such a message of affirmation of the female biological sex…

Because complementarianism, in spite of all it’s “girl power” mottos to the contrary, is sexist and comes across as sexist to the average person.

An Editorial That Misses the Mark: More Women Have Joyless Sex Than You Think by Amy Wax

An Editorial That Misses the Mark: More Women Have Joyless Sex Than You Think by Amy Wax

I saw this really long article on The American Conservative site – the link to it, “Women Having Joyless Sex” is towards the bottom.

Here is the comment I left on their page, though I don’t see it published (okay, I later broke up my response in chunks, and their site says this is in moderation):

What a long-winded article. I read quite a bit of it but grew bored and skimmed over the remaining.

Anyway – towards the end of it, the author seems to be suggesting that it’s okay, good, or acceptable that women in stable, committed relationships (such as marriage) have sex when they don’t really want to.

I somehow doubt we’d see the reverse sentiment if the genders were swapped out.

I cannot imagine any writer, male or female, lecturing husbands that they should go ahead and have sex with their wife, even if they, the husband, is not in the mood for it, or, to persist in having bad or unsatisfying sex with their wives.

Too bad that too many people keep sort of defending or promoting this idea that women cannot or should not decide for themselves what to do with their bodies or their own sexuality.

Lastly, please, please do not quote Mark Regnerus, as you did in this essay above.

Regnerus is a Christian sociologist who has (Link): actually made the perverted argument in some of his online essays (which were repudiated by other Christians) that he thinks because marriage rates are declining, that Christian single women should go ahead and marry Christian men who are known porn users or known porn addicts.

There are a lot of Christian single women for whom a man viewing porn is a deal breaker, as is their right.

Women get to choose what they will and will not accept in a man they date or marry – but Regnerus, like a lot of my fellow conservatives – is so obsessed with promoting marriage that he’s turned marriage into an idol and will say or do anything to pressure or guilt trip single adults into marrying anyone.

Regnerus and other Christians mistakenly act as though singleness is a disease that needs to be cured.
This is in spite of the fact that the Bible says God honors singleness (see 1 Corinthians chapter 7).

God does not command every one marry, or say that he, God, views singleness as being “less than” marriage.

Nor does God prescribe marriage as a “cure all” that will “fix” a society, contrary to Mark Regnerus, Al Mohler, and other Christians who have deified marriage and denigrated singleness.

// end my comment on their page

As I said, this is a very long editorial. I skimmed most of it.

There were a few parts I may have agreed with, but I did not agree with all points:

(Link): More Women Have Joyless Sex Than You Think by Amy L. Wax

Excerpts:

….The problem might be sex without desire, or it might not. Even if the sex feels libidinous, the lack of emotional content can still make hooking up distressing.

If women are having sex that doesn’t bring much pleasure, or that is not the result of “ordinary motives” or “ordinary feelings” — whatever those might be— we shouldn’t be surprised that the rhetoric of sexual assault on campus is a confusing mash-up of labels and charges that are almost impossible to keep straight.

Some social conventions do better than others at protecting women from sex they don’t desire and really don’t enjoy.

One might take the position—as I do—that society and the campus culture currently do too little in this regard, especially for adolescents and young women, while at the same time recognizing that completely eliminating sex without desire from all women’s lives is not only impossible, but might sometimes come at too great a price.

Surely there are better and worse such encounters, and better and worse societies for minimizing the harms that can flow to women from this experience.

Some of the middle-aged women in The Bitch is Back tell us they don’t experience a sexual frisson from every intimate encounter in their lives.

The same seems to go for the overwhelmed young mothers who complain on the Internet.

Although these women may not feel sexual excitement at the moment, they sometimes do it anyway.

Unlike the girls who hook up, they do it for love, or out of gratitude, or as a gift, or to preserve something enduring, lasting, and valuable. In many cases it is a marriage that they seek to preserve, a mostly loving relationship that is central to their lives.

But when college women play the hook-up game, what are they trying to preserve or achieve?

They want male company and attention, and that’s the only way to get it. It really shouldn’t be that way.

/// end excerpts

Her editorial is extremely long, and I found it mind-numbingly boring.

You can click through using the link above to read the entire thing should you wish.

She seems to think women in marriages have to or should put up with lousy sex, and that’s okay, because it helps to preserve a marriage or some such nonsense, and she further feels that crappy, unrewarding sex for a married woman is somehow morally superior or something as compared to teen girls who have crappy, unrewarding sex with campus boys. I don’t agree. I think all of that is equally bad.

In trying to argue against casual sex (“hook up culture”) my fellow conservatives manage to deliver some sexist assumptions about women and dismal views about adult singleness, none of which I find acceptable.

Trying to argue your way against false rape charges or hook up culture should not be done in such a way you’re also arguing that it’s acceptable for women to have to feel they must put up with crappy marital sex, or that being married is a preferable state of life (to imply in the reverse that singleness is for losers, or worse for culture).


Related Posts:

(Link): Another Study Shows That ‘Hookup Culture’ Is a Myth

(Link):  Male Christian Researcher Mark Regnerus Believes Single Christian Women Should Marry Male Christian Porn Addicts – another Christian betrayal of sexual ethics and more evidence of Christians who do make an idol out of marriage

(Link): Men Aren’t Entitled to Sex: Crybaby Guy Throws Racist Fit at Woman Who Politely Refuses to Hook up by R K Bussel

(Link):  Woman Says She Refuses to Hook-up with Men ‘For Fun’ – Says Most Men She’s Met Are Willing to Wait

(Link):   Male Entitlement In Dating and In Marriage  – Single Christian Men Who Feel Entitled – Part 1

(Link): ‘It’s Not Me, It’s You’: A Loser’s Guide to Dealing with Rejection by The Guyliner

New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart

New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart

And most conservative Christians, gender complementarians in particular, will continue to ignore information such as this, because they basically feel that women don’t like sex, don’t want sex, and only a man’s sexual needs or preferences are important.

(Link): New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously

Excerpts:

….In a study published this summer in the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapytitled “Women’s Sexual Experience With Genital Touching, Sexual Pleasure, and Orgasm: Results From a U.S. Probability Sample of Women Ages 18 to 94,” researchers from Indiana University asked that age-old but oft-neglected question: What feels good to you?

Continue reading “New Research Is Taking Women’s Sexual Pleasure Seriously by L. Cowart”

Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study

Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study

From the UK:

(Link): Almost 60% of women want more sex than their partner does

Excerpts:

If you believe what you see in American films, all men are desperate for sex, and most women don’t want to give it to them.

This is, of course, complete bollocks. As we know, women have sexual identities, desires and fantasies of their own, just like men do. In fact, as new research from Voucher Codes Pro demonstrates, many women actually have even more of a sex drive than men.

Continue reading “Women Have A Higher Sex Drive Than Men, According to New (2017) Study”