Former Mormon Homemaker, 49, Lays Bare ‘Dangerous’ Truth About Life as a ‘Trad Wife’: Woman Who Wed Husband at Age 20 Reveals Misery of Tending to His Every Need While Raising Their Four Children.

Former Mormon Homemaker, 49, Lays Bare ‘Dangerous’ Truth About Life as a ‘Trad Wife’: Woman Who Wed Husband at Age 20 Reveals Misery of Tending to His Every Need While Raising Their Four Children.

God bless the ex -Trad Wives who are going public with the pitfalls, traps, and problems with being a ‘Trad Wife,’ because some Conservatives are heavily and regularly promoting this sort of thing to young ladies.

I myself am a Conservative, but too many other Conservatives frame The Nuclear Family, Motherhood, and Marriage in totally un-Biblical terms. They will often spread propaganda to young, single women that being single and childless will make them miserable, and that their only meaning and purpose and happiness in life can be found in marriage and motherhood.

I am not opposed to The Nuclear Family, marriage, or parenthood, but I recognize that Conservatives make false promises regarding the Nuclear Family, marriage, and parenthood.

There have been studies showing that single and childless adults (or childless married couples) are just as, if not, more happy than married couples with children.

I have plenty of anecdotes on my blog of married parents who admit to being miserable with parenthood or miserable in marriage. I have plenty of news stories on my blog of married people who have affairs or murder their spouse or of parents who murder their own children.

I am not against marriage or parenthood, but marriage and parenthood are not guarantees of stable (or life-long) happiness and purpose in life, nor of dying surrounded in love, warmth, and the presence of family – you can be a married parent but still die all alone in a hospital bed.

About a year or more ago, Conservative publication authors at the The Federalist became hopping angry and upset that so many secular online magazines were showcasing stories of mothers who publicly admit to regretting motherhood.

The guys at The Federalist actually ran one essay begging mothers to submit essays to them saying how much they adore being mothers, because they want to publish those to counter-act all the “motherhood regret” testimonies.

I would not be surprised as more and more of these “Trad Wife Regret” testimonies begin being published (I’m starting to see more of them in the last few months), if we don’t again see sexist d-bag Conservatives – who worship The Nuclear Family, motherhood, and marriage – such as Mark Driscoll, Lyman Stone, Matt Walsh, and more, begin screaming and complaining about the “Trad Wife Regret” stories.

I think ex Trad Wives or Moms who publicly discuss the problems and stress with being a Trad Wife or a mother are providing a valuable public service to young women, or I guess women of any age. Girls and women should hear both sides of a lifestyle choice, not only the glowing, rosy, positive aspects.

I am a middle-aged, never married and childless Conservative woman, and my life is more or less doing fine – my life is not perfect, but nobody’s is, not even lives of married mothers.

I am not miserable being single and childless. Any problems I may have are not due to being single and childless.

I had wanted to be married, but as I grew older, I accepted my single status and am doing okay with that now.

The mere existence of single, childless Conservative women like myself who are well-adjusted shows how false Conservative negative narratives about single, childless ladies are.

If you remain never-married and childless over the age of 40, though you had wanted marriage and/or children, is not a guarantee that you will feel or be miserable for the rest of your life – unless you choose to be.

By all means, if you had hoped to marry but end up still single by age 40 or older, yes, allow yourself a few years to grieve, cry, and feel angry about  marriage not coming to pass for you, but determine to move on and enjoy your life as it is anyway.

You do not need a romantic partner or have a child to find meaning, have goals, be happy, or just enjoy life. If you determine to get to that point, where you can be content in your singleness (or in being childless), you can get there – it’s only the Nuclear Family worshippers like Matt Walsh-es, Al Mohler-s, and Brad Wilcox-es, and so on, who want to try to convince you otherwise.

(Link): Former Mormon homemaker, 49, lays bare ‘DANGEROUS’ truth about life as a ‘trad wife’: Woman who wed husband at AGE 20 reveals misery of tending to his every need while raising their four children

April 24, 2024
by Amy Walters

A former trad wife is sharing her harrowing journey in a bid to warn other women against the lifestyle as it sees a rise in popularity.

For Jennie Gage, from Arizona, this is a life she knows all too well – but one that the 49-year-old gracefully left behind after realizing that she had become ‘trapped.’

Now, she’s urging young women not to get caught up in the trend, which gets its name from the abbreviated ‘traditional wife.’

‘Do not ever become a trad wife,’ the social media advocate said.

‘A man is not a plan – he can be your lover, boyfriend, roommate, husband, whatever – but he should never be your financial plan.

‘No adult human should ever be dependent on another adult.

‘The greatest tragedy in my story is that I’m smart, capable and hard-working.

‘It’s a dangerous lifestyle that needs to stop being promoted.’

Jennie was raised in a conservative Mormon family, where all the women were taught to stay at home, and attend to domestic duties and childrearing while the men brought home the bacon.

From a young age, she recalls being told that, as a woman, she was sent to Earth to be a wife and mother – nothing else.

And while this way of life was all she knew, Jennie had a different dream in mind.

Conservatives and Liberals Both Blaming The Other Group for Women in New York City Getting Punched by Random Thugs in the Street – and Re: The Leopards Ate My Face Party Hypocrisy

Conservatives and Liberals Both Blaming The Other Group for Women in New York City Getting Punched by Random Thugs in the Street – and Re: The Leopards Ate My Face Party Hypocrisy

In the past few weeks, more and more articles have been popping up about different women getting punched in the face by random men on the streets of New York City.

I think some of these women first published stories of their physical assaults on TikTok, and New York Post and other publications ran stories on them.

The articles I skimmed about these attacks did not mention if the women being attacked are a-political, Democrats, Republicans, conservatives, liberals, or progressives.

I personally do not altogether care what their politics, if any, are – regardless of how these women vote, they do not deserve to be punched by thugs.

Starting about one or two weeks ago, I began seeing various conservative commentators online, including a few well-known ones, actually suggest that these women deserve getting punched in the face, because, the assumption is that these women “voted for it.”

While I myself am a Conservative and have been a Conservative my entire life (but am thinking of ditching conservativism to be an independent), I detest and loathe sexism with every fiber of my being.

The “they voted for it” rhetoric I’m seeing from other Conservatives online is disgusting, and it’s the new “she asked for being raped because she was out late or wearing a short skirt” in rape cases type of commentary – and it’s disgusting.

I do think that Liberal and Progressive women often support causes, or vote in ways, that are ultimately detrimental to their best personal interests or those of women as a group, but I am not going to then jump to the nauseating conclusion that they “deserve” to be personally attacked on the street by muggers or whomever.

A day or so ago, Liberal writer Amanda Marcotte (who unfortunately likes to mock women who choose to remain virgins until they marry, see this post or this one on my blog for more, which is more proof that Liberal feminists actually do NOT support a woman’s right to choose, if it conflicts with what liberals prefer), actually had the audacity to blame Conservative men or “MAGA voters” for women in New York City getting punched in the face.

Conservatives and “MAGA voters” are not responsible for violent male criminals punching women in the face, contrary to what Liberals and Progressives think.

The women targets are not to blame, either, contrary to what many of my fellow Conservatives think.

We do not even know if these women getting punched have ever voted – some appear to be in their late teens or in their 20s – so it is very sloppy to make the assumption they’re all Liberals or Democrats.

And yes, I’ve seen the studies saying that more young women today are liberal more so than men their age.

But still, you do not know how these women who got punched voted, unless these women specifically tell you how they vote. And I don’t recall any of the news reports I read telling us if the women targets voted Democrat or Republican.

Even if those women targets do (or did) vote Democrat, it doesn’t mean it’s acceptable for men to physically assault them as they walk down city streets or take the subway.

I thought Conservative men claimed to be champions and defenders of women, but I notice as I get older, this new breed of Conservative man means – and this is really sexist of them – they will only defend or help women who fulfill stereotypical patriarchal expectations for women, such as vote how the men think women should vote, and be deferential and subservient to men.

I have seen a few make such arguments on X (Twitter).
Months ago, I saw various conservative and “red pill” men argue that if women are not going to live by stereotypical sexist gender roles for women, that women do not “deserve” to receive any sort of help from any man. It’s a reprehensible view.

Jesus taught in the Bible that if the only people you are willing to defend or help are people who look or think exactly like you do, that your love means nothing.

From Luke 6, Jesus of Nazareth speaking:

32 “If you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners love those who love them.
33 And if you do good to those who are good to you, what credit is that to you? Even sinners do that.
34 And if you lend to those from whom you expect repayment, what credit is that to you? Even sinners lend to sinners, expecting to be repaid in full.
35 But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back.
Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because he is kind to the ungrateful and wicked.
36 Be merciful, just as your Father is merciful.

I used to see Liberals and Progressives, including self professing Christian ones, violate the teachings of Jesus found in Luke 6 frequently, while hypocritically screeching that conservatives, Republicans, evangelicals, and Trump voters are cold and mean – but they are just as bad.

Many Liberal and Progressive Christians only express empathy towards other Liberals and Progressives, and they often mock Conservatives who have been hurt in some regard.

In the past year or so, however, I am unfortunately seeing what appears to be an increase in self professing Conservatives adhere to the same mindset – they are only willing to help or show empathy towards those in their own group, and are quite willing to turn a blind eye to people being hurt who they disagree with politically.

Both sides of the political aisle have become more guilty of this attitude and behavior as time has gone by.

It used to be mostly a Progressive, Liberal, or Democrat phenomenon, but I’m seeing more and more Conservatives and Republicans adopt this mindset as well.

A Conservative man who thinks himself virtuous and a defender of women, and one who truly is that way, is not first going to stop and ask a woman being mugged by another man what political party she belongs to before he determines if he will call the police for her, or help her in some other way.

If you will only consider helping a woman in need if you know in advance that her politics align with yours, or if she lives out your preferred lifestyles for women (ie, traditional gender stereotypes), you do not truly care about nor respect women, no matter how much you insist you do.
What you really respect and care about are your political opinions and your sexist views about women.

Your allegiance is not to helping other people in need, but in supporting your politics and your particular worldview.

The Hypocritical, Usually Liberal, Women Online Who Taunt Conservative Women with the “Leopards Ate My Face Party” Line

Women left of center politically, or who are maybe not particularly political except they really detest Conservatives, often love to take screen captures of Conservative women who are, on social media, discussing sexism they see among Conservative men.

The women (and they’re usually liberal or progressive) who I am discussing adore taking screen grabs of those conversations taking place among Conservative women about sexism by other Conservatives to say – and this is a favorite line of theirs-
“Oh look what happens when you’re in the party of ‘The Leopard Ate My Face,’ the leopard ate your face too, and now you act surprised about it.”

I follow several such accounts on X, and I periodically see these Conservative-hating women engage in this behavior.

These are women who claim to support women as a group, but they never support Conservative women who are talking about being on the receiving end of sexism from men.

These women who claim to detest sexism actually engage in a lot of schadenfreude (see an explanation here on what “schadenfreude” means) when they see Conservative women talking about being treated poorly by some Conservative men.

Those types of women (and the occasional Liberal or Progressive men) who post the “Leopard ate my face party” commentary to mock Conservative women are extremely annoying and hypocritical about this subject.

Hey, ladies (and the occasional men) who post the “Leopards ate my face party” line to ridicule Conservative women experiencing sexism from Conservative men, your shit stinks too, as does that of your political party or your political group.

You can stop acting sanctimonious and above the fray.

After all, there is a shit ton of sexism among Liberals, Democrats, and Progressives, just as there is a lot of sexism among Republicans and Conservatives.

No political group is free and clear of sexism – the sexism just gets expressed differently depending on which group we’re considering.

Church is Banned from Displaying a Pride Flag with a Cross on Its Altar ‘For Trans People’ After Campaigners Complained that It Was ‘Politicizing’ a Place of Worship by A. Ward

Church is Banned from Displaying a Pride Flag with a Cross on Its Altar ‘For Trans People’ After Campaigners Complained that It Was ‘Politicizing’ a Place of Worship by A. Ward

Yes, Christian progressives and liberals merge their socio-political beliefs and views with their Christian faith, not just American, flag- waving, Trump- voting, conservative Christians!

But so many of the American left, who claim to be Christian (and apparently British liberal or progressive Christians), are either blind to this or in denial about this.

I frequently see left wing Christians, progressives, or liberals, (or whatever label they prefer; I am referring to the non-conservatives who support things like CRT, DEI, equity, who approvingly, without irony, use left wing buzz-words like “colonialism” or “intersectionalism”),
complain on social media on a consistent basis about conservative,
American Christians being into “Christian Nationalism,” or  about conservative believers wanting the American flag to be displayed in their church.
But these same guys complaining about this American patriotism, and who “ring alarm bells” about it every other day, turn around and display a “Progress Pride Flag” in a church or find nothing wrong with it!

(Link): Church is banned from displaying a Pride flag with a cross on its altar ‘for trans people’ after campaigners complained that it was ‘politicising’ a place of worship

by Alex Ward
Feb 16, 2024

St Nicholas’s Church, in Leicester, had hung a ‘Progress Pride flag’ from the altar during services before it was replaced by one with a chevron representing marginalised people of colour and trans people.

The row was ignited after the church sought to make the flag a permanent addition in 2022 and submitted a petition to the Diocese of Leicester.

In its application for a faculty – permission to undertake anything more than minor work to the church – it proposed adding a cross to the flag.

Details of the church’s claim have now been revealed in a judgement handed down by the diocese’s chancellor.

St Nicholas’s claimed by adding the flag it showed ‘God in Christ has redeemed the world – including Trans people, black and brown people, and LGBT people – through the death of Christ’.

It went on to state Jesus’s suffering during the crucifixion bore parallels to the experience of LGBQ+ people.

The petition read: ‘On this altar table, in each act of worship, we remember the death of Christ.

‘His experience of rejection and physical torture is not unknown to LGBTQIA+ people. This act of remembrance mediates the solidarity of Christ with the suffering of those in our community.’ The church has previously said the flag is a way of telling visitors the church is ‘a safe place for LGBTQIA+ people’.

Chancellor of the Diocese of Leicester Naomi Gyane admitted the petition had been divisive in her written judgement denying the faculty.

She wrote: ‘I deeply appreciate that the underlying matters raised by this Petition invokes strong convictions both in favour and against the grant of a Faculty.

‘In order to determine the matter, and having taken into account all relevant points, I have found it helpful to focus on one aspect of this Petition, that is at its core, and which in fact all agree: This Petition relates to one of the most symbolic parts of the building, the Altar.

‘The Progress Pride flag is not a Christian emblem. Whilst I agree it is a sign of welcome for people from the LGBTQIA+ community and although not itself political, it is a secular contemporary emblem used for many causes and contemporary discourse.’ Campaigners against the flag’s had claimed ‘our alter table has been hijacked by political activists’.

How the Sexual Revolution Has Hurt Women by Louise Perry

How the Sexual Revolution Has Hurt Women by Louise Perry

I read the entire article on Wall Street Journal’s site. I don’t know if I agree with every point in it, but some of it was okay. The article mentions the impact of pop culture (movies and tv shows) on people’s views of sex, but I don’t think I included those parts below.

(Link): How the Sexual Revolution Has Hurt Women

Excerpts:

In today’s hookup culture the sexual playing field is not even, but it suits men’s interests to pretend that it is. Women are entitled to be angry.

by August 2022
by Louise Perry

… the group of people who have done particularly well from the free-marketization of sex are men high in the personality trait that psychologists call “sociosexuality”: the desire for sexual variety.

… Worldwide [according to a questionnaire used by researchers used by researchers asking people how often they have sex, etc], there is a significant difference in average sociosexuality between the sexes, with men generally much keener to sow their wild oats than women are.

[Note: that point is in dispute by other studies and articles I’ve read, such as this one: (Link): When Society Isn’t Judging, Women’s Sex Drive Rivals Men’s ]

The vast majority of women, if given the option, prefer a committed relationship to casual sex.

…We see this play out in male and female sexual behavior. Men, on average, prefer to have more sex and with a larger number of partners, while the vast majority of women, if given the option, prefer a committed relationship to casual sex. Sex buyers are almost exclusively male, and men watch a lot more pornography than women do.

Men and women also differ dramatically in their baseline levels of sexual disgust, with women much more likely to be revolted by the prospect of someone they find unattractive. …studies find that, on average, the sexual disgust threshold is much lower for women than it is for men. …

Radical Acceptance is Not a Feminized or Victim Blaming Concept- Re: Shrink4Men Video Content

Radical Acceptance is Not a Feminized or Victim Blaming Concept – Re: Shrink4Men Video Content

In the past week, I’ve been watching a few videos by a woman therapist (or is the correct job title “psychologist” here?) who calls herself “Shrink4Men” on You Tube (her You Tube videos cite her actual name as Dr. Tara J. Palmatier, PsyD). Her You Tube video channel is located (Link): here.

I’ve agreed with about 99% of Dr. Shrink4Men’s (Palmatier’s) commentary that I’ve seen so far, in about 6 or 7 of her videos,
it aligns with what I’ve read competent mental health professionals say on these subjects, though at times, her personality rubs me the wrong way – but as I watch more videos, maybe she will grow on me?
She mainly discusses Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse.

Before I get to the main point of this post (which pertains to Dr. Shrink4Men’s take on the topic of Radical Acceptance), I wanted to say a few other things first.

➡️ (The specific topic of how Shrink4Men is misrepresenting Radical Acceptance is explained way, way below in this post under a heading that mentions the phrase “Radical Acceptance.”)

Disclaimers & Intro

I am not liberal, progressive, nor am I a feminist.

I do not hate all men – but I do notice that men as a group can adhere to sexist stereotypes about women or engage in sexist behavior, which I detest. (I detest sexism, not all men.)

Noticing that some men can be sexist, or that our culture tends to favor men (and at the expense of women, and yes, it does in fact do so) does not make me a “misandrist.”

I am not a mental health professional – but I do not have to be one to be educated on a topic, to have arrived at informed conclusions.

I don’t have to be a mental health professional to disagree with someone on mental health topics who is in the mental health profession.

I did take two psychology courses in my college years (that I earned A’s in), but I really began learning about people pleasing, Codependency, and personality disorders and toxic personality styles, on my own, in earnest, in my middle age, because I was trying to figure out why I had clinical depression for so many years and how to get rid of it.

I saw four psychiatrists (and briefly, a psychologist or two) in three states over two decades, from my childhood into my early or mid 30s, and none of the psychiatrists I saw could fix my depression.

(None of them really seemed interested in permanently curing me – they just wanted me to show up regularly to get a  pill prescription for anti-depressants from them.
None were interested in getting to the root of my depression, which shows me that people in this profession are not gods, they’re not all-good – some are inept and in the profession for the money only)

I had to cure myself of depression by doing my own research on various mental health topics in middle age!

That should not have been the case – the mental health professionals I saw years ago should’ve pointed the way out of my depression, but they did not.

I’m in my 50s at this point – I no longer have clinical depression after having been afflicted with it for around 35 years.  I am not a 20-something year old, naive, inexperienced kid.

Additionally, I am a recovered Codependent (much of my clinical depression was stemming from the Codependency, by the way
– it’s sad that I had to figure this out on my own
– the psychiatrists I saw when I was younger could have and should have connected those dots for me; would’ve saved me years or heartache and unnecessary struggle).

I arrived where I am today via life experience, reflection, hard work on myself, and a lot of reading articles, books, and/or listening to You Tube videos by therapists and psychologists (I can no longer financially afford to regularly see a therapist/psychologist), so I had to figure things out on my own, using free online resources by mental health professionals.

I do not have to have a license or a degree (in mental health) to adequately understand Narcissism, BPD, Sociopathy, or Codependency, or to be able to spot any of the traits of all those disorders or maladaptive relationship tendencies.

Pet Peeve

It’s a huge pet peeve of mine when people who are in school to become psychologists or therapists, or who already hold degrees in these areas, lecture me or those like me (and it’s usually in a patronizing, rude fashion) about how wrong I am on these subjects (according to them, to be “right” means I have to agree with THEM),
or how I do not have the right to hold whatever perspective  I do on Codependency, Narcissism, or whatever related issue, because I do not have a university or medical degree in psychiatry, psychology, or therapy.

It’s ten times more annoying and arrogant when those who lecture me on this blog or elsewhere do so in a very angry, “ranty” manner.

And believe you me, on this blog and other areas I write online, in years past, I have had people claiming to have mental health degrees, or they say they work as psychologists, leave me some of the bitchiest, cattiest, rudest messages.

They’re not polite in how they “correct” me or disagree, they are angry and nasty about it.

Bottom line:

I do not have to go to college to earn a degree in X to have an informed, educated opinion on X. No, I do not. Nope.

So get off my blog with that snotty attitude, and don’t post some You Tube video condescendingly lecturing me that I don’t have a right to my views, or that my views are automatically wrong because I did not earn a degree in Psychology.

I respect the hard work someone put in to obtain a PhD or medical degree, but I am not going to fall at your feet in worship of you and assume that you are competent or automatically know what you’re talking about, and that you are always correct on any and every topic (even the one where we disagree).

I don’t have to have a PhD or a medical degree to have educated opinions on Narcissism, BPD, relationships, verbal abuse, Codependency, etc.

I probably am more qualified to talk about Narcissistic Abuse and a few other topics like that than 99% of mental health professionals out there.

I don’t say that out of arrogance,
but because I’ve noticed some mental health professionals lack a basic understanding and get things wrong on those subjects
– I’m basing this not just on my personal life experience of having once attracted Narcissists and other Toxics into my life during the 30+ years I was Codependent,
but also based on what I’ve read competent mental health professionals themselves have said on these subjects.

(An aside:
I’ve actually seen a tiny number of what I consider Quacks on You Tube – folks claiming to be psychologists, life coaches, or therapists – who actually say, “Yes, narcissism can be treated or cured.”

No, it cannot.

If you see a psychologist or other type of mental health professional claiming that narcissism can be cured or treated, and the cherry on top is they also tell you to book appointments with them starting today and force your narcissistic spouse to see them for regular visits – it’s a money-making scam.

Some of these same Quacks think that videos by other psychologists educating the general public about how Cluster B persons (such as Narcissists) are harmful,
or educational content they put out on how to avoid getting entangled with Cluster B disordered persons,
are “mean,” “cruel,” and “judgmental”
– they ask us Normies (that is, the non-disordered people with self awareness and empathy)
to pity and have sympathy for the Cluster Bs (such as Narcissists) and to be “more understanding” of what the poor, poor Cluster Bs are going through, or what abuse the Cluster B must have endured as a child to end up being abusive in adulthood.

Let me tell you, if you pity Cluster B’s and don’t take steps to detach from them, it’s going to cause YOU damage.
You cannot save or rescue a Cluster B person, nor is it your responsibility to do so. Do not allow others to exploit or weaponize your empathy!

One reason so many Codependent, empathetic, caring people get suckered into these toxic relationships or stay trapped in them is due precisely to what those Quack therapist simps for Cluster B persons are telling you to do: to give pity and empathy to, to feel sorry for, the Cluster B person, etc.)

Even mental health professionals who specialize in Codependency, Narcissism, etc, will tell you that not many in their profession understand Codependency and Narcissism!

These are people who have degrees in psychology saying this!
The honest ones will tell you that their fellow psychologists are often ignorant about Codependency and Narcissistic Abuse,
so beware – not every psychologist or therapist you visit will understand what you’re going through (if you’re the victim),
and some may even victim-blame you for what your abuser is doing to you. That commentary is coming straight from people who DO have degrees in these areas.

The qualified, honest psychologists will explain that personality disorders are not covered deeply or for very long in their course work they are required to take in order to get a degree – which is why even people who WORK as professional, full time therapists and psychologists do not always understand things like Narcissistic Abuse (or Codependency).

The competent therapists will tell you when you are doctor shopping to “interview” your therapist before committing, be sure to ask them how much they know and understand about Codependency and Narcissism, because a lot of therapists out there don’t understand these issues.

As honest and competent mental health professionals have noted in their books, web articles, and/or You Tube videos, not all other practitioners in their field are competent,
and some therapists or psychologists may be Codependent (and not realize it themselves), or,
they themselves may have personality disorders or antagonistic personality styles (such as Narcissism or Sociopathy), which can make them damaging to their patients (especially for the Codependents) who are dealing with an abusive or toxic person.

⚠️ So again, no, I do not have to have a college degree in mental health or work as a psychiatrist, psychologist, or therapist to have educated, informed opinions about personality disorders, toxic people, Codependency, or how to handle such relationships or situations. ⚠️

❇️ If you are a therapist or a psychologist, people in your OWN PROFESSION do not accurately understand codependency and personality disorders as admitted to by some therapists and psychologists themselves! ❇️

So don’t lecture me, a fairly well read lay person on the issues, that I should not be publicly opining on this, or making blog posts about any of this, or drawing my own conclusions, and don’t act all huffy when I say I disagree with you on Narcissism (or Topic X).

Don’t act infallible because you “have a degree” in psychotherapy or psychology, or because you’ve been a clinician for 25 years, and so your word is FINAL and nobody has a right to disagree, puh-leeze.

Go talk to your fellow therapists and educate THEM.

I probably know more on this stuff than THEY do!
Same can be said for anyone who comes from an abusive or narcissistic family system,
or who’s worked for a toxic person or been married to one who has later gone on to research the hell out of Cluster B disorders or abuse dynamics via reading books or essays by psychologists on the subject
– we don’t all need to sit through four or more years of college to grasp what Narcissism, Codependency, or Trauma Bonding is, or what abuse dynamics are.

I healed myself of depression by way of researching free mental health topics on line, figuring out ON MY OWN where my depression came from, when the mental health professionals I saw in person for 20+ years could not or would not, so I don’t need any other so-called mental health professionals condescendingly lecturing me to shut up about this or that mental health topic because I don’t have a degree in their field.

Well, I saw people who DID have degrees in your field, and they could not or would not help me – I, with no mental health degree, had to help myself. I had to succeed at something your colleagues FAILED AT.

Returning to the topic of the “Shrink4Men” therapist (psychologist?) on You Tube

I’ve not watched every video this Shrink4Men person has created, I’ve not read any of her webpages or books so far – but if she is marketing herself as a psychologist primarily aimed at assisting men, I wonder why?

I’ve seen another woman psychologist on You Tube who’s taken the same approach: she often opens her videos by saying,
“Because there are so few resources out there by mental health professionals aimed at MEN who are in toxic relationships with toxic WOMEN, I thought I’d fill that missing need.”

I enjoy videos by that other woman psychologist/therapist, she’s very informative, she really seems to know her stuff, but I cannot figure out why she (like Dr. Shrink4Men and a few others I’ve seen) say they aim their content primarily at men.

Little Gendered Differences

As someone – a layperson – whose spent around eight or nine years researching Codependency and similar issues (People Pleasing, Dependent Personality Disorder, etc),
and who’s spent the last 4 or 5 years studying Narcissism (and occasionally BPD, Sociopathy, etc),
I have observed that there’s actually very little gendered differences among these disorders, how they present, or how they impact the recipient.

Migrants Are Being Raped at the Mexico Border at Record Levels as People Smuggling Gangs Torture Women for Money

Migrants Are Being Raped at the Mexico Border at Record Levels as People Smuggling Gangs Torture Women for Money

I believe in having a strong border. I am fine with legal immigration, but not illegal immigration.

If you are a Trump hater, a Democrat, a liberal or progressive, most of you ABHOR having a strong border. You’re a globalist, you hate Western Civilization and the USA,
and so you want an open border, sloppy migrant protocol, because all the under-educated migrants flowing across our border (some of whom are rapists or murderers) cause instability in the USA
– which is what you want.
Among those who want this, I would include Stephanie Drury and most of her participants at Facebook group “Stuff Christian Culture Likes,” and blogger Melody Kay Young.

Also, children and teen girls and women are getting raped, hurt, drowning, and some are possibly ending up in sex trafficking when trying to enter the United States illegally – and you, you progressives, ex-Republicans, Trump haters, and many liberals, support this.

You think having strong immigration polices, having a wall built, turning away illegals, is “cruel” and “mean.”

No, it’s not. What you’re doing is not only ruining the USA, but you’re supporting rape, drowning, and sex trafficking – some of these migrants will try to flee in a vehicle if pursued by Border Patrol in USA’s borders and consequently hit and kill American citizens (e.g., (Link): 2 Americans, 5 illegal migrants killed after human smuggling car hits SUV: authorities).

But, you have the audacity to go on “X” (Twitter) and gripe, bitch, and whine about Christian Nationalism,  the infamous Trump “grab ’em by the pussy” line, and colonization, while completely ignoring or denying the negative impact YOUR views have on the United States and girls and women migrating from South America and other regions.

How anyone can perpetually toss a fit over Trump’s “grab em by the pussy” remark from several years ago, gripe about Christian Nationalism, and yet remain blind or unconcerned about all the illegal immigration (with the subsequent rapes of teen girls and women in the process) is beyond my ability to comprehend.

(Lnk): Migrants are being raped at the Mexico border at record levels as people smuggling gangs torture women for money

Excerpts:

by Reuters
Sept 28, 2023

When Carolina’s captors arrived at dawn to pull her out of the stash house in the Mexican border city of Reynosa in late May, she thought they were going to force her to call her family in Venezuela again to beg them to pay $2,000 ransom.

Instead, one of the men shoved her onto a broken-down bus parked outside and raped her.

‘It’s the saddest, most horrible thing that can happen to a person,’ Carolina said.

A migrant advocate who assisted Carolina after the kidnapping, who spoke to Reuters on condition of anonymity due to security concerns, confirmed all the details of her account.

The attack came amid an increase in sexual violence against migrants in the border cities of Reynosa and Matamoros, both major transit routes for immigrants seeking to enter the U.S., according to data from the Mexican government and humanitarian groups, as well as interviews with eight sexual assault survivors and more than a dozen local aid workers.

‘The inhumane way smugglers abuse, extort, and perpetrate violence against migrants for profit is criminal and morally reprehensible,’ U.S. Department of Homeland Security (DHS) spokesperson Luis Miranda said in response to questions about the rise in reported rapes.

Criminal investigations into the rape of foreign nationals, excluding Americans, were the highest on record in the two cities this year, according to state data from 2014 to 2023 obtained by Reuters through freedom of information requests.

The U.S. State Department considers Tamaulipas, where the two cities are located, to be the most dangerous state along the U.S.-Mexico border.

Facing record illegal border crossings, U.S. President Joe Biden’s administration in May moved to a new system that required migrants to secure an appointment – via an app known as CBP One – to present themselves at a legal border crossing to enter the United States.

Nine experts, including lawyers, medical professionals, and aid workers, told Reuters the new system has had unintended consequences in the two cities, contributing to a spike in violence.

How Not to Have Sex: Why We Shouldn’t Treat Virginity Like a Burden by K. Rosenfield

How Not to Have Sex: Why We Shouldn’t Treat Virginity Like a Burden by K. Rosenfield

(Link): How Not to Have Sex: Why We Shouldn’t Treat Virginity Like a Burden by K. Rosenfield

Excerpts:

[The author discusses a new movie called “How To Have Sex,” where a British teen girl views being a virgin as shameful or embarrassing, and she wants to have sex as soon as she can/
The author mentions that in films from decades past, the situation was quite the opposite, where girls and women were shown to be carefully guarding their virginity]

… I didn’t notice it at the time, but this seems profoundly weird to me now: that the process whereby you were supposed to go from guarding your virginity with your life as a teen to having sex constantly and casually as a young adult was rarely depicted or discussed. How was a young lady meant to advance from never done it to elite level intercourse, just by moving to the city?  …

[The author claims that sex education and movies did not adequately explain female sexuality, which left female virgins in the dark]

…And, as we see in How To Have Sex, it still is — but now it is not purity to blame, but sex positivity. Pushed upon today’s Zoomers is the notion that sex itself is meaningless, and therefore so is virginity.
Once you begin to argue that having multiple partners is no big deal, it’s hard to preserve any significance around having sex for the first time: one progressive sex-ed provider in the UK invites students to think of virginity as “a damaging social construct”.
For this, we may thank feminism: women, who risk the most from penetrative sex — often while enjoying it the least — probably benefit from a culture in which it is no longer seen as a special prize to be won. We may also thank the increased visibility of LGBT people, for whom equating the loss of virginity with heterosexual intercourse presents obvious problems.

And yet, the resulting landscape is one rife with profoundly mixed messages about sex.

Being ‘Sex Positive’ Has Its Negatives by J. Williams

Being ‘Sex Positive’ Has Its Negatives by J. Williams

(Link): Being ‘sex positive’ has its negatives

Excerpts:

by J. Williams
November 10, 2023

…And, like everything to do with identity today, in order to be meaningful, our sexuality must be publicly affirmed and, if sufficiently diverse, celebrated. Being sex positive is less what you do and more what you say. And how often — and how loudly — you say it.

…Unlike “the world’s most popular free dating app,” Killing Kittens is aimed at the more discerning “sex positive” middle classes. This difference — between mass and niche, popular and picky — suggests that being sex positive means far more than just being absolutely positive you want to have sex.

… What’s important is that you talk about it [being sex positive] openly, frequently and shamelessly and that you listen to others talk openly and frequently about their sex lives while — crucially — not passing judgement.

Call me a prude, but I have a problem with this.

Mother Sentenced to Life in Prison After Repeatedly Slamming Infant Daughter on Concrete, Killing Her – Some Pro-Choice Feminists Would Want Me To Feel Sorry for This Woman. I Don’t.

Mother Sentenced to Life in Prison After Repeatedly Slamming Infant Daughter on Concrete, Killing Her – Some Pro-Choice Feminists Would Want Me To Feel Sorry for This Woman. I Don’t.

As I’ve said on previous, similar posts of mine:

I’ve seen pro-choice feminist women on X (Twitter) who I follow, or their posts show up in my timeline, demonstrate pity for women such as this.

I’ve seen them tweet in months past in sympathy over news stories over things like teen girls who murder their infant and then toss the dead, or barely living infant, into a trash can.

In the vast majority of cases, I don’t have any pity or empathy for these types of women or teen girls. Killing an infant and/or tossing it into a trash can or shed or leaving it to die from exposure under a tree is immoral, evil, selfish, and wrong.

I don’t recall any of the pro-choice feminists express empathy for the dead babies in these horrific news stories.

(I follow some feminists on social media though I am not a feminist because some of them provide good content fighting against progressive transgender activism. Unfortunately, a lot of them are also rabidly pro-choice too – and I mean rabid. It’s like a religious dogma to a lot of them.)

I’ll also mention, for the millionth time on my blog, but contrary to what my fellow conservatives often say, motherhood does not make women more godly, loving, ethical, responsible, or mature.

(Link): Makaylia Jolley, 21, is jailed for life for grabbing her two-month-old daughter by her ankles and repeatedly slamming her on the concrete in Mississippi town

A 21-year-old Mississippi woman has been found guilty of murdering her two-month-old daughter by grabbing her ankles and repeatedly slamming her on concrete.

(Link): 21-year-old mother sentenced to life in prison for ‘heinous’ killing of daughter by repeatedly slamming newborn on concrete

Excerpts:

November 10, 2023
by Paul Sacca

A Mississippi mother was sentenced to life in prison for killing her daughter by repeatedly slamming her newborn on the concrete.

…According to WLBT, “One reason for the decision to offer the plea was to prevent Rankin County jurors, law enforcement officials, witnesses, and family members from having to relive what they say was one of the most heinous crimes they worked on.”

Assistant District Attorney Kathryn Newman said, “Law enforcement, the EMTs, the firefighters, there were innocent people … the apartment owner witnessed it. The victim’s grandmother witnessed it. A truck driver witnessed it. A sweet lady who was going to call on a patient and just happened to be dropping by saw these terrible things. I don’t believe you can ever get those images out of your mind.”

Jolley accepted the plea deal, and she pleaded guilty to capital murder.

On Monday, Rankin County Circuit Judge Steve Ratcliff sentenced Jolley to life in prison without the possibility of parole for the death of her 2-month-old daughter named Khalysie Lashay Jolley.

… On the afternoon of May 12, 2022, witnesses contacted police to report that Jolley grabbed her baby by the ankles and slammed the newborn onto the concrete several times in Pearl, Mississippi. As Blaze News previously reported, when police arrived at the crime scene, bystanders informed law enforcement that the mother slammed the baby down on the pavement and left her lying in the road.

Newman said, “This was an innocent 7-week-old baby. Makaylia Jolley took Khalysie by the ankles, slammed her into the pavement multiple times and then left her there.”

Texas Mom Allegedly Killed Baby Son Then Tried to Make Jewelry from His Ashes – Some Pro-Choice Feminists Would Actually Having Empathy For this Woman – Me? Nope.

Texas Mom Allegedly Killed Baby Son Then Tried to Make Jewelry from His Ashes – Some Pro-Choice Feminists Would Actually Having Empathy For this Woman – Me? Nope.

I’ve seen pro-choice feminist women on X (Twitter) who I follow, or their posts show up in my timeline, demonstrate pity for women such as this.

I’ve seen them tweet in months past in sympathy over news stories over things like teen girls who murder their infant and then toss the dead, or barely living infant, into a trash can.
In the vast majority of cases, I don’t have any pity or empathy for these types of women or teen girls. Killing an infant and/or tossing it into a trash can or shed or leaving it to die from exposure under a tree is immoral, evil, selfish, and wrong.

I don’t recall any of the pro-choice feminists express empathy for the dead babies in these horrific news stories.

(I follow some feminists on social media though I am not a feminist because some of them provide good content fighting against progressive transgender activism. Unfortunately, a lot of them are also rabidly pro-choice too – and I mean rabid. It’s like a religious dogma to a lot of them.)

(Link): Texas mom allegedly killed baby son then tried to make jewelry from his ashes

Excerpts:

 By Christina Coulter

Texas mother Angel Lynn Marine Varner, 20, is accused of killing her seven-month-old infant Jackson Knight Blackmon before falling back asleep

Nov 10, 2023

A young Texas mother stands accused of killing her 7-month-old son, then asking for donations toward his funeral, cremation and the creation of funerary jewelry using his ashes on GoFundMe, per authorities in Amarillo.

Angel Lynn Marie Varner, 20, was charged on Wednesday with one count of murder in the death of Jackson Knight Blackmon, according to court documents obtained by KVII.

Ignore Al Pacino – Experts Tell Career-Focused Men to Try for a Family by 35 – Men Also Have a ‘Biological Clock’

Ignore Al Pacino – Experts Tell Career-Focused Men to Try for a Family by 35 – Men Also Have a ‘Biological Clock’

I have links to articles going back a few years on this blog that explain that men have “biological time clocks,” and that sperm from older men creates wonky babies – and yet, my fellow conservatives and all sexists of whatever political stances continue to try to fear-monger women into having babies, having them young, and giving up a career.

In the past couple of years or so, my fellow conservatives (and some right-leaning libertarian or politically independent types) began trying to tell women on their news or opinion television programs or in their memes that they are suckers for exchanging motherhood for career.
They try to frame a woman’s life choice as either “work for the man, be chained to a corporate desk, or, exchange such unrewarding drudge work to find a life of satisfaction and bliss as a stay at home wife and mother.”

For one thing, a lot of women are single and/or childless by Circumstance, not due to deliberately favoring career to marriage or motherhood.

Secondly, even married women back in the 1980s who had children had to hold down jobs to help pay their family’s bills. Sometimes the income from a married man is not enough for his wife and children to live off alone, so the mother has to get a career, too. Some women, whether single or married, find a career fun or rewarding – and that’s fine, too.

Thirdly, being a mother is not a guarantee of lifelong happiness or purpose. I have many examples on my blog of women who admit to having regret over having children, I have links to news articles of mothers who were murdered by their own children, or who find motherhood exhausting and depressing (I’ll put links to some of that material at the bottom of this post, under the “Related” heading).

There are two links/articles excerpted below.

Link/Article One:

(Link):  The rise of the older dad and the truth about the male biological clock

Excerpts:

Male celebrities make it seem like men don’t have a biological clock. That’s not the case, experts say

June 18, 2023
By NICOLE KARLIS

…When stories like these [older male celebrities fathering children] make headlines, people usually respond by being reminded that nature presumably favors the male sex when it comes to human reproduction. The myth goes that men can have children their entire lives. They have no “biological clocks.”
But after 35, a woman is considered to be “advanced maternal age.” And after menopause, when a woman’s ovaries stop releasing eggs, pregnancy is highly unlikely.

It’s not just Hollywood men who are becoming fathers at an older age. Between 1972 and 2015, the number of men having a child over the age of 40 nearly doubled in America, according to an analysis of 168 million births. Becoming an older father is now more common, sure, but does that really mean men don’t have these so-called “biological clocks” in advanced paternal age?

“As men get older, their sperm counts go down, as well as their DNA fragmentation and methylation rates go up,” Dr. Aimee Eyvazzadeh, a reproductive endocrinologist based in the San Francisco Bay Area, told Salon, referring to molecular processes that can damage DNA. “And with that comes increased risks of a number of diseases that should not be taken lightly — autism, schizophrenia, ADD, ADHD, imprinting disorders.”

Eyvazzadeh said when stories about older men in the news surface, she worries it gives the public “false reassurance” that fathering children at an old age is easy and comes without risk. Eyvazzadeh said she also suspects the public often isn’t getting enough information regarding whether pregnancy was achieved.
It’s possible a celebrity couple did in vitro fertilization (IVF), a type of assisted reproductive technology that helps people experiencing fertility issues to conceive. These famous older dads may have frozen their sperm at a younger age, and aren’t letting the public in on those details.

The Coming Attack on an Essential Element of Women’s Freedom [Regarding No Fault Divorce] by K. Wehle

The Coming Attack on an Essential Element of Women’s Freedom [Regarding No Fault Divorce] by K. Wehle

I’m a conservative, but I don’t defend sexism that other conservatives usually do – I for one do not have a problem with No Fault Divorce, and being opposed to No Fault Divorce is another expression of sexism, since opposing making divorce easier is more detrimental to women than it is for men.

While I am not opposed to marriage, parenthood, and the nuclear family, I keep all three in proper perspective, so I do not put any or all three on a pedestal and make more of them than warranted.

Unfortunately, too many other conservatives do make far more out of marriage, parenthood, and the nuclear family than is warranted, to the degree they are willing to mock and insult single adults for being single, and to sacrifice the physical or mental health and safety of men and women in marriages – by insisting they stay married to abusive, toxic, or chronically invalidating or negligent partners until they or their partner die.

Considering that so many men (and the occasional woman) can be toxic, controlling, or abusive, I think that No Fault Divorce is very much needed. Sometimes, also, people just grow apart as they age, and they are no longer able to maintain a marriage. I wouldn’t expect people in that situation to stay married, either.

The following appears on The Atlantic – their site permits you to read up to around three free articles a month, and anything over that, they insist you join their site and their articles are locked behind a paywall or access screen.

The article below quotes conservative commentator Steven Crowder saying that all a woman with no education or skill set has to do, if she is good looking, is to marry a man, divorce him, and take half his money. Well, why would a man want to marry a woman whose only redeeming quality (in his perception) is that she is “good looking?”

If you’re a man, and your criteria for “what kind of woman do I marry?” is along the lines primarily or only of, “I don’t care that a woman I am considering marrying lacks intelligence, a career, and/or lacks a college education, but it’s very important that she looks great in a bikini,” that seems to be a “you” problem, that is a problem with you having foolish wife-picking criteria, and not a problem of women generally, nor should it mean that no fault divorce should be barred.

The fact that so many men – like Crowder – do prioritize physical beauty above good character, personality, and intelligence – is to their detriment, it shows how narcissistic, sexist, and shallow they are, and, especially if they are a Codependent or have low self esteem, it about guarantees that they increase their chances of marrying a toxic woman (such as a female Covert Narcissist, or a Somatic Narcissist, or a woman with B.P.D.)
I don’t think that Crowder’s ex wife has a disorder, by the way – I have more to say about that below the article excerpts.

(Link): The Coming Attack on an Essential Element of Women’s Freedom (No Fault Divorce)

Excerpts:

No-fault divorce has improved the lives of millions. Now some extreme Republicans want to abandon it.

by K. Wehle
September 26, 2023

For the past half century, many women in America have enjoyed an unprecedented degree of freedom and legal protection, not because of Roe v. Wade or antidiscrimination laws but because of something much less celebrated: “no fault” divorce.
Beginning in the early 1970s, no-fault divorce enabled millions of people, most of them women, to file for divorce over “irreconcilable differences” or the equivalent without having to prove misconduct by a spouse—such as adultery, domestic violence, bigamy, cruelty, abandonment, or impotence.

But now conservative politicians in states such as Texas and Louisiana, as well as a devoutly Catholic husband who tried to halt his wife’s divorce efforts in Nebraska, are attacking no-fault divorce.

One of the more alarming steps taken in that direction came from the Texas Republican Party, whose 2022 platform called on the legislature to “rescind unilateral no-fault divorce laws and support covenant marriage.”

Given the Republican Party’s control of the offices of governor, secretary of state, and attorney general, and both chambers of the state legislature, Texas has a chance of actually doing it.

Until 1857, divorce in England—whose ecclesiastical laws formed the basis of divorce laws in most American colonies outside New England—was available only through an act of Parliament.

A total of 324 couples managed to secure one; only four of those were initiated by women. Husbands could divorce their wives based solely on adultery, but women had to prove additional aggravating circumstances. Proof of brutality, rape, or desertion was considered insufficient to support a divorce. …

… [The article goes on to discuss marriage in 18th century America, mentions a legal concept called coverture basically, where-in, once married, American women at that time had next to no legal rights once married, as the law considered them and their husband the same person, with the husband taking primary status under the law. The article also mentions that at that time, American women didn’t have the right to own property or to enter contracts on their own]

State standards for divorce varied, including the number of times a man could assault his wife before divorce was allowed. (Marital rape was not illegal in all 50 states until 1993.) …