Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields

Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields

Please note this blog post has undergone some modifications here and there since I first published it – a few fixed typos, some additional thoughts have been added here and there.


Here’s the link to the editorial – below it, I will comment about it, then a bit later, provide some excerpts from it, followed by yet more critiques):

(Link):  When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield –  Let’s reimagine ways we can honor mothers without wounding others.   by L L Fields via Christianity Today magazine

Here are some of my thoughts about the editorial:

As I first began reading it, I had high hopes. I was optimistic.

It started out on the right foot but descended into a let-down where Fields is arguing for the status quo, which is inexcusable, especially after she admits she was educated, (after she publicly asked for feedback from women), as to how so many women find church Mother’s Day celebrations so painful.

(The summary of her piece: she doesn’t really care about your pain, you childless woman, or you women who are grieving for their dead mothers; she still wants her mother’s day carnation handed to her by a pastor, dammit, and culture doesn’t do near enough, she argues, to honor motherhood!
She would no doubt want to push back and say, ‘hey, I do care about other women’s pain’ – but no, she does not, if she is still arguing to keep Mother’s Day in place as-is. Please keep reading.)

First of all, motherhood is a choice for many women.

You chose to have a child. If there is one thing I cannot stand, it’s women who deliberately walk into a pregnancy and then spend 15 – 20 years complaining about how exhausting motherhood is.

Continue reading “Your Church’s Mother’s Day Carnation is Not Worth Any Woman’s Broken Heart – A Critique of ‘When Mother’s Day Feels Like a Minefield’ by L. L. Fields”

Porn Star Angers Churchgoers by Declaring She Is An Evangelical Christian And God Sees Nothing Wrong With Her Work

Porn Star Angers Churchgoers by Declaring She Is An Evangelical Christian And God Sees Nothing Wrong With Her Work 

Talk about making God into your own image.

Some time ago, I posted a link to (Link): an editorial by a Christian sociologist who says Christian single women should not omit men based on the men’s use of porn – he says single women should marry men who use pornography.

Well, then, if a lot of Christian women suddenly started appearing in porn, would this same sociologist tell Christian single men that this should not be a deal breaker?

Would he advise single males that they should go ahead and marry women who appear in porn films?

Granted, there are a lot of perverted Christian men out there who would likely find the idea of marrying a porn film actress a turn-on, but for the tiny portion of those Christian men who actually take the faith seriously, I would assume that the idea of marrying a woman who screwed around a lot, and for money for movies, is a nauseating idea.

(Link):  Porn Star Angers Churchgoers by Declaring She Is An Evangelical Christian And God Sees Nothing Wrong With Her Work 

A PORN star has outraged churchgoers by declaring she is an Evangelical Christian who believes there’s nothing wrong with her work in the eyes of God.

Kamilla Warneck is one of the hottest adult movie stars in Brazil and has appeared in hundreds of erotic movies.

Now the 25-year-old, who grew up in a deeply religious household, has caused controversy with her claims in an interview on X-rated TV show Pornolandia.

The hardcore actress declares she has an “Evangelical faith” and says she doesn’t believe it clashes with her career because she is a “good person at heart”.

Continue reading “Porn Star Angers Churchgoers by Declaring She Is An Evangelical Christian And God Sees Nothing Wrong With Her Work”

‘Deadly Wives’ Reality TV Series – ‘Very Devoted Christian’ Woman Who Held Bible Studies Drowned Her Husband in a Pool of Hydrochloric Acid

‘Deadly Wives’ Reality TV Series – ‘Very Devoted Christian’ Woman Who Held Bible Studies Drowned Her Husband in a Pool of Hydrochloric Acid

As I’ve said many times on this blog, there are times I am glad I have never married. After watching this show a few times, I definitely feel that way.

Here is a link or two about the show:

(Link): Deadly Wives: Acid Lady

(Link): Deadly Wives: Crime and Investigation

(Link): Deadly Wives

(Link): Deadly Wives TV Show

I caught a couple of episodes the other day on LIFEtime channel or whatever it’s called of a reality series called “Deadly Wives.”

Usually, it seems abuse and crimes in marriages are male- on- female, but in this show…

It’s a show about women who murder their husbands, female- on- male violence.

The first episode I saw was about a woman who killed her husband by giving him horse tranq via drops in his mouth from a Visine bottle, then she buried him in a vineyard.

The second episode I saw disturbed me far more than the first.

It was about a woman named Larissa, a chemist, who was married to Tim. She knocked Tim out with chloroform, and when he was only partially knocked out (he may have still been alive), she had a male accomplice named James stuff Tim into a large, blue barrel, where upon she dumped about four gallons of Hydrochloric acid on him.

Continue reading “‘Deadly Wives’ Reality TV Series – ‘Very Devoted Christian’ Woman Who Held Bible Studies Drowned Her Husband in a Pool of Hydrochloric Acid”

Teen Girl Gets Raped at Summer 2016 Baptist-Hosted Youth Event by Staff Cook

Teen Girl Gets Raped at Summer 2016 Baptist-Hosted Youth Event by Staff Cook

This sort of thing sends chills up my spine. I was raised by my Christian parents to ASSUME that Christian areas – such as churches and so on – are safe places to be, and a good place to meet single men to flirt with in the aim of getting married. But I continue to see news story after news story of girls and women who are raped, fondled, or secretly recorded on church grounds or at church-sponsored events (and by men who are Christians, too).

(Link):  Girl, 13, Allegedly Raped by Cook at Popular Church Summer Camp

March 2017

by L. Blair

The world’s largest church summer youth camp, hosted at a conference center owned and operated by the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma, could come under greater scrutiny this year after it was alleged in a recent lawsuit that a 13-year-old girl was tied up and brutally raped by a 35-year-old cook last summer.

…In the civil lawsuit that names the Baptist General Convention of Oklahoma, Country Estates Baptist Church of Midwest City, and First Baptist Church of Terrell as defendants, the unidentified 13-year-old girl claims she was raped by camp cook Benjamin Lawrence Petty of Midwest City on June 16, 2016.

Continue reading “Teen Girl Gets Raped at Summer 2016 Baptist-Hosted Youth Event by Staff Cook”

Church Weddings Hit Historic Low; Priest Says Some Avoid Church Due to Judging (UK-based news)

Church Weddings Hit Historic Low; Priest Says Some Avoid Church Due to Judging (UK-based news)

(Link):   Anglican church weddings reach record low

March 2017

The number of couples choosing to get married in an Anglican church in England and Wales has fallen to its lowest level ever.

(Link): Church Weddings Hit Historic Low; Priest Says Some Avoid Church Due to Judging by S. Zaimov

The number of Anglican church weddings in England and Wales has fallen to a historical low, with more people choosing to have civil weddings, statistics show.

…Overall, among all opposite sex marriages in the two countries, only 28 percent were religious ceremonies.

Continue reading “Church Weddings Hit Historic Low; Priest Says Some Avoid Church Due to Judging (UK-based news)”

Jeannie Mai Says Church People Pray for Her to Want Babies: Stop Shaming Me

Jeannie Mai Says Church People Pray for Her to Want Babies: Stop Shaming Me

It is truly disgusting how deeply Christians and secular culture demand and expect all women to reproduce, even if the woman in question has absolutely no interest in having children.

I cannot BELIEVE how terribly OBNOXIOUS people are! It’s none of anyone’s business why or why not this woman has kids, or if she doesn’t want them and why not, and so on.

Breeding is not an imperative – in the New Testament (see 1 Cor 7), Paul states it is better NOT to be having sex! But Christians push and harass people who choose to stay single and childless, or who find themselves as such due to circumstance.

(Link): Jeannie Mai Says Church People Pray for Her to Want Babies: Stop Shaming Me

BY CHRISTINE THOMASOS , CHRISTIAN POST REPORTER

March 7, 2017

Jeannie Mai is speaking out against those who have shamed her for not wanting children, including people in her church who have laid hands on her and prayed for her desire to give birth.

Mai, the 38-year-old co-host of daytime talk show “The Real,” was emotional as she explained the frustration she felt when people expected her to announce her pregnancy with her husband, Freddy Harteis, of 10 years. While she is outspoken about her Christian faith on the show and social media, Mai expressed her issues with people at her church praying for her to want children.

“I’ve even had people like at church, which is why sometimes it throws me off from church, but they lay hands and they’ll pray for me that I’ll want that. [They] lay hands like ‘God you’re going to put that moment in Jeannie where she will be an amazing mother,” she recalled. “‘Let her know, let her feel that.'”

Continue reading “Jeannie Mai Says Church People Pray for Her to Want Babies: Stop Shaming Me”

Abusive North Carolina Church Dictates When, Where, Etc, Members May Have Sex

Abusive North Carolina Church Dictates When, Where, Etc, Members May Have Sex

I first read about this story about a week ago. I tweeted about it at least once. Now, several spiritual abuse blogs are covering it.

The following story kind of reminds me of one about a (Link): church in Ohio I blogged about a long time ago, where the Pastor ordered women in his church to get abortions, and he would ask the men at his church if he could look at their genitalia.

Regarding this church, the elders and preachers of it apparently controlled the sex lives of its members.

There is NO WAY I would tolerate this amount of abuse or control from any one, pastor or not. If I was at this woman’s church, and she started bossing me around, she’d get my middle finger in her face.

(Link): NC church has unconventional rules for sex and marriage

When it comes to relationships, marriage and sex, Word of Faith Fellowship members must follow strict and unusual rules — or risk severe punishment, former members say.

Some of the edicts:

— Congregants need permission from leader Jane Whaley and other ministers to get married, and it then can take months — or even a year — before the newlyweds are allowed to have sex.

— No one is allowed to date without permission, and most relationships and marriages are arranged by Whaley and ministers.

Continue reading “Abusive North Carolina Church Dictates When, Where, Etc, Members May Have Sex”

Death, Grief, Marriage, Single Again, Soul Sleep, Christianity, Obnoxious Male Fixation on Female Looks

Death, Grief, Marriage, Single Again, Soul Sleep, Christianity, Obnoxious Male Fixation on Female Looks

I have several topics I’d like to address here. I’m going to discuss death, grief, dating, how men are too fixated on women’s looks, etc, and so on, all in the same post.

I learned from watching the Christian program “It is Written” today (Feb 2017) that the wife of Christian TV host Mike Tucker, Gayle, died. I’m not sure when the episode was first filmed or first aired.

You can read a transcript of that episode, “From Grief To Hope” (Link, off site): here.

You might be able to watch that very episode or one like it here: (Link, off site): Coping with Grief.

I see from an online obit that Gayle Tucker passed away in April 2016.

I am sorry for his loss.

I lost my mother, and it hurt a lot.

(Link, off site):  Gayle Tucker, Beloved Marriage Counselor on Faith For Today TV, Dead at 60

April 2016 –  The prominent Adventist television personality dies after a brief struggle with pancreatic cancer.

(Link, off site):   Beloved Christian TV Host, Couples’ Counselor Dead at 60

I learned a few years ago that the hosts and backers of “It Is Written” are SDAs (Seventh Day Adventists).

I also learned from a glance over google search results that Mike Tucker is a Seventh Day Adventist.

Part of SDA theology is something called “Soul Sleep,” a view that I totally disagree with and find discouraging and cruel.

Continue reading “Death, Grief, Marriage, Single Again, Soul Sleep, Christianity, Obnoxious Male Fixation on Female Looks”

Alpha Females Part 2 – Defining the Terms – How Anti-Feminists and Complementarians Misrepresent Concepts or Terms

Alpha Females Part 2 – Defining the Terms – How Anti-Feminists and Complementarians Misrepresent Concepts or Terms

This commentary will be divided up among a few posts. Here is part 2.

(This post may be edited in the future to re-word things, polish things, add new thoughts or links)

More pages in this series:

Visit Part 1. | Part 3 |  A Response to Venker: Re: Personal Experience

Part 4

Introduction.

For those new to my blog:

I am a right winger. I was a Republican until recently. I am now a conservative Independent.

I was a conservative Christian for many years (I am no longer sure about what my religious views are), and I (Link): Am A Former Gender Complementarian (someone who believed in and lived out traditional gender roles, views which are based in large measure on incorrect interpretations and applications about gender in the Bible).

I sometimes agree with secular left wing feminists on some topics, but not always. At times, I disagree with secular and religious left wing feminists and have written several blog posts critiquing some of their views.

This series of blog posts is addressing the dating and relationship advice of author Suzanne Venker, who wrote a book called “The Alpha Female’s Guide to Men & Marriage” which she has lately been marketing online and on TV news shows.

Here is one article by Venker about her relationship views:

(Link, off site):  Society is creating a new crop of alpha women who are unable to love by S. Venker


Venker, like many conservative authors, conflate the word or concept of “feminine” (and “nice“) with terms, behaviors, or concepts, such as, but not limited to, being passive, quiet, demure, agreeable, docile, and “being a doormat.”

I have no doubt that Venker, and women like her, would likely reject that she is asking women to be doormats – but that is precisely what she is doing when she asks women, as she does in the articles I have read, to give up certain behaviors, especially if those behaviors are part and parcel of a normal, healthy adult’s boundaries and identity.

And Venker is insisting women do these very damaging things, insisting that they inflict damage on themselves, change themselves, make themselves smaller, all for the goal of capturing a man while single, or to keeping one happy while married. This is most definitely a throw back to 1950s America and earlier.

We’re in 2017, Venker, please join us here.

By the way, the type of man who needs a woman to repress her fierce nature, true views, or her voice and needs, to “be happy” in a relationship, and not feel like he’s being bossed around, are usually highly insecure or selfish men. Such men are not worth dating or marrying or trying to cajole or placate in the first place.

Many Conservatives further conflate the term “feminine” with women refusing to get their own needs met, and with always putting a man’s needs before their own (or the needs of children or other women ahead of their own).

Being feminine is defined as, or thought of, or confused by many conservatives and with most complementarians, with being a 1950s television show June Cleaver housewife, as though that is the one and only appropriate way for a woman to be.

In a nutshell, conservatives (this would include Christian gender complementarians) confuse “being feminine,” or mistake “being feminine,” with Being Codependent.

Codependency is not healthy for girls, women, or for their relationships.

However, codependent behaviors and attitudes are applauded and expected in girls and women by much of culture (certainly by most conservatives), and complementarian Christians often mistakenly assume that God designed girls and women to be codependents. This is so, even though the Bible through-out warns against anyone, male or female, being codependent.

The word “nice” is also often confused by a lot of people, certainly by complementarians and by some conservatives, with codependency.

When someone is “nice,” this generally means she will exhibit codependent traits.

She will not be assertive and stand up for herself or insist on getting her own needs met, but will go through life doing such things as quietly enduring suffering as boyfriends cheat on her repeatedly, co-workers take advantage of her on the job, or a husband strikes her with his fist.

Continue reading “Alpha Females Part 2 – Defining the Terms – How Anti-Feminists and Complementarians Misrepresent Concepts or Terms”

Too Cool for School: The Ex, Quasi, or Liberal Christians (and Atheists) Who Think Their Snarkiness Against Christians Makes Them Clever (But It Doesn’t)

Too Cool for School: The Ex, Quasi, or Liberal Christians (and Atheists) Who Think Their Snarkiness Against Christians Makes Them Clever (But It Doesn’t)

This post contains some vulgar language.

edited to add: I’ve already been told by two different people that this post is too long. Sorry, being concise has never been a talent of mine.

Someone also informed me that this blog post of mine has been linked to at a sub thread on Reddit (Link): here / on (Link): Reason and Faith on Reddit

Someone in that Reddit thread thinks my title of this post is “an atrocity,” but I feel it pretty much accurately sums up what I’ve seen online the last decade or more


In my faith crisis of the last few years, I’ve visited more sites, blogs, groups, and forums that are critical of Christians or Christianity. I sometimes find myself agreeing with some of their criticisms of evangelical, Protestant Christianity (sometimes not).

One of the recurrent tendencies that crops up in such blogs, forums, and groups that disturbs or annoys me  (or has me doing a lot of eye rolls) are that many of the people who post to these types of groups act as though they are Too Cool for School.

Continue reading “Too Cool for School: The Ex, Quasi, or Liberal Christians (and Atheists) Who Think Their Snarkiness Against Christians Makes Them Clever (But It Doesn’t)”

Pew Report: Religion Plummeted During Obama Era

Pew Report: Religion Plummeted During Obama Era

(Link): Pew Report: Religion Plummeted During Obama Era by T D Williams

Excerpts

January 2017

In a new study of President Obama’s legacy, the Pew Research Center found that religious affiliation and practice dropped off dramatically during his two terms in the White House.

“When it comes to the nation’s religious identity, the biggest trend during Obama’s presidency is the rise of those who claim no religion at all,” Pew notes in a report released this week titled “How America Changed During Barack Obama’s Presidency.”

When Barack Obama took office, those who identified as atheists or agnostics along with those who said their religion was “nothing in particular” totaled only 16 percent of the U.S. adult population. On leaving office 8 years later, the non-religious in America now make up nearly a quarter of the population.

On the contrary, the percentage of Americans who say they believe in God, consider religion to be very important in their lives, pray daily and attend religious services at least monthly have all dropped during the Obama years, Pew found.

Continue reading “Pew Report: Religion Plummeted During Obama Era”

Pastor Refuses to Step Down After Sex Tapes With Multiple Women Are Made Public

Pastor Refuses to Step Down After Sex Tapes With Multiple Women Are Made Public

Many of today’s American churches are more consumed with making sure the rank and file, average pew sitters are held accountable to church discipline, but pastors (especially of mega churches or famous pastors, like the ones who have their own TV shows) don’t feel that the same rules apply to them.

This article says that this guy was married (later got divorced) and was a preacher at a church.

Let all those facts belie usual conservative Christian propaganda and stereotypes which say things like – Marriage is necessary to make people more godly and mature (singles are supposedly not as godly and mature as marrieds); marriage makes people more sexually pure than singles; and, you have to be godly or close to perfect before God will send you a spouse or allow you to marry.

My parents taught me to buy into the idea that church is the safest and best place for a single adult like me who wants to be married to find a great marital partner.

Supposedly, the thinking goes, the quality of people one finds at a church will be a step above those one would find at a bar or night club. After seeing millions of stories like this one, about a church pastor who was boinking church members and/or those outside his church, I realize this is faulty thinking. I now suspect the quality of people one finds at a local bar may be of HIGHER quality than that of a church.

Also, I see no point in holding out for an “equally yoked” marriage, since so many self professing Christian men are abusive or sexual perverts.

As an added bonus, at least one article quotes a former church member as saying this same debauched pervy pastor was preaching against sexual sin (such as fornication) in the pulpit, all the while he himself was fornicating with numerous women and asking them to make sex tapes with or for him.

(Link):  Pastor Refuses to Resign Despite Multiple Sex Tapes Surfacing

(Link):  Houston Church Wants ‘Pastor’ Out After Admitting to Making Sex Tapes

HOUSTON, Texas — Some members of a congregation in Houston, Texas are calling for their pastor to resign after he admitted to making multiple sex tapes while serving in the ministry when a woman came forward about the matter.

“He’d been preaching multiple times about fornication, about shacking up. And to find out that you’ve been making sex tapes throughout your whole adult life—[as] recently [as] two or three years ago—and you’re a man of God at the highest point in a church,” member Lecobeun Lewis told local television station Fox 26 earlier this month. 

He says that he won’t return to Salem Missionary Baptist Church, led by Hosea Stubblefield, 32, until Stubblefield steps down.

Continue reading “Pastor Refuses to Step Down After Sex Tapes With Multiple Women Are Made Public”

Come, Let Us Adore … Family? Churches Closing Their Doors on Christmas Day to Be With Family by J. Roys

Come, Let Us Adore … Family? Churches Closing Their Doors on Christmas Day to Be With Family by J. Roys

Yes. I’ve been noting on this blog for the last few years that Christians have turned the Nuclear Family into idols, and this comes at the expense of divorced, widowed, childless, childfree, and never married adults.

(Link): Come, Let Us Adore … Family? Churches Closing Their Doors on Christmas Day by J. Roys

Excerpts:

Christmas this year falls on a Sunday, which has some churchgoers in a tizzy.

…Religion writer Amy Sullivan once suggested that the reason American Christians don’t normally go to church on Christmas is because we’ve adopted a civil religion that elevates the ideal of family “to a sacrosanct level.” The Norman Rockwell image of a family gathered around a tree, she argues, has become a Christmas icon that rivals baby Jesus.

“For most Christians,” she said, “Christmas is a day for family, not faith.”

I think Sullivan has a point. Recently, I was listening to a Christmas album by the a cappella group Pentatonix, which I absolutely love. But the lyrics to their song “That’s Christmas to Me” pierced my heart. The song is beautiful and nostalgic — and completely godless.

After talking about Santa and stockings and mistletoe, they croon, “The only gift I’ll ever need is the joy of family. Oh why? ‘Cause that’s Christmas to me.”

I love my family dearly. But Christmas is about the birth of my savior without whom I’d have no hope for the future. And to me, there’s no better way to celebrate Christmas than to join with my church family, as well as my natural family, to worship our savior.

But again, many Christians attend services on Christmas Eve. So, what’s wrong with foregoing church on Christmas Day? However, Sullivan notes that many Anglican and Catholic Churches similarly hold midnight masses or vigils the night before Easter. (My church does that, and it’s a highlight of my year.) But everyone still shows up the next morning for Easter services. No devout Christian would ever consider missing church on Easter! So why do we not have the same attitude toward Christmas?

As Scott McConnell, executive director of LifeWay, notes, “If Christmas falls on Monday through Saturday, churches might be closed on December 25 — but almost never on a Sunday.”

Still I wonder, how many will attend church on Christmas Day joyfully as opposed to dutifully? And how many church members will actually show up? Many churches, which normally hold multiple services on Sunday morning, are only holding one service on Christmas day.

…That’s my hope too. I fear we have replaced adoring God with adoring family on Christmas. And as much as I love family, and see it as an incredible gift from God, I love Jesus even more.


Related Posts:

(Link):  The Neglected God Calls Us to Reach Out to the Neglected at Christmas: God with Us and Them—Immanuel (Re: People Who Are Alone At the Holidays)

(Link):  Merry Christmas to Single People

(Link):  Please Shut Up About Family and Christmas – by Laura (some people are alone at the holidays; they are not married, have no kids)

(Link):  Churches Ignoring The Olds: Increasing Population of Senior Citizens In America – Yet Churches Keep Obsessing About Kids and 20 Somethings

(Link):  “Who is my mother and who are my brothers?” – one of the most excellent Christian rebuttals I have seen against the Christian idolatry of marriage and natalism, and in support of adult singleness and celibacy – from CBE’s site

(Link): Post by Sarah Bessey Re: Churches Ignore Never Married Older and/or Childless Christian Women, Discriminate Against Them

(Link):  If the Family Is Central, Christ Isn’t

(Link): Neither Fully Widow Nor Fully Wife – Married People Will Be Single Again (Married people who have spouses with dementia)

Married Reformed Baptist Preacher Tom Chantry Indicted On Multiple Child Sex Abuse Counts and His Reformed Buddies Are Ticked This is Being Discussed Online by Other Christians

Married Reformed Baptist Preacher Indicted On Multiple Child Sex Abuse Counts and His Reformed Buddies Are Ticked This is Being Discussed Online by Other Christians

Warning: This post contains a few crass terms or salty language. There is an update below, and a new link or two.

Dec 27, 2016 update, from “Thou Art The Man” blog:

(Link): Chantry Jailed; ARBCA Appears To Have Covered Up Abuse


According to different sources I’ve read here, there, and around the internet, this guy who is in trouble for alleged child sex abuse, Tom Chantry, is married, a pastor, he worked at a church, and later worked at a Christian school of some kind, and he has some children of his own (though I am not clear if these are his biological kids or kids by his wife’s previous marriage – I think she may have been married before).

I’m not sure if am understanding correctly, but I think this Chantry guy may have been married twice. I might have that wrong – he might only have the one marriage.

Christians will often tell single Christians that they must abide by the “equally yoked” teaching, which they say means a single Christian can marry only another Christian.

I see no purpose in that restriction, since, first of all, it’s impractical (single female evangelicals out-number the male ones), and secondly, there is no difference overall, say, in behavior, between a professing Christian man and ordinary Non-Christian men.

I cannot think of any reason a normal, sane single Christian woman would want to marry, or stay married to, a professing Christian man who is a child molester.

News items like this also go to show that marriage does not make a person more sexually pure, ethical, godly, mature, or loving.

There is nothing intrinsic about marriage which causes a person to be more moral than someone who is not – if there were, I doubt the Bible would tell us humanity’s only “cure” for sin was Jesus Christ. The Bible would prescribe marriage for sin if marriage could “cure” anyone, but it does not.

Many conservative Christians continue to hold this attitude, and even to publish blog posts or give sermons, that suggest that there is something wrong or flawed with any adult being single past the age of 25 or 30. Christians continue to behave as though marriage is some sort of magical elixir that makes a person responsible, mature, godly, and loving.

Lastly, that even a perverted, gross, deviant alleged child molester is capable of getting married should also put to bed at long last the other conservative or evangelical Christian common teaching that God requires all single adults to be perfect, or “in shape,” before he will reward them with a spouse.

When we keep seeing (Link): so many stories of married Christian men who are arrested for child molesting, domestic violence, and all manner of other terrible things, reveals a person does not have to earn some level of perfection before God will permit that person to have a spouse.

To start, here is a news story about Chantry – with more commentary and more links below (there are other angles to this story):

(Link): Former Prescott pastor [Tom Chantry] charged with child molestation

A few excerpts:

by Scott Orr, Nov 26, 2016

PRESCOTT – A minister in the Baptist church, who left the area 10 years ago, has been indicted on multiple counts accusing him of sexually molesting children in 1995, 1996, and 1998 to 2001 while he was pastor of a church in Prescott.

Thomas Jonathan Chantry, 46, faces five counts of molestation of a child, related to two minors, and three counts of aggravated assault on three separate minors as well.

Continue reading “Married Reformed Baptist Preacher Tom Chantry Indicted On Multiple Child Sex Abuse Counts and His Reformed Buddies Are Ticked This is Being Discussed Online by Other Christians”

Church Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church

Churches Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church

Several spiritual abuse blogs covered this story, as well as a handful of mainstream media outlets. (Links to the story are farther below).

From what I’ve read, this adult married man raped a young lady. He was, I think, in his mid-30s at the time of the rape, and his victim was around 13 years old. (Some of these articles are saying he had more than one young victim.)

At the time this story broke, I believe he was working in a library.

One of the spiritual abuse blogs dug up the information that this guy’s current wife is his THIRD WIFE, and they have children (however, I am unclear if these kids are his biological kids with this third wife, or if they are her kids from a prior marriage).

This church in Tennessee was allowing this sicko to act as a bass player on stage during various church services.

Many conservative Christians like to teach this falsehood that being married and being a parent are vital to making a person mature, godly, ethical, and loving, which is so much BUNK and nonsense, considering we have stories such as this one, where a man has been married THREE times in his life but raped kids before.

How did being thrice married prevent this creep from sexually assaulting girls? It did not. Marriage is not some kind of special salve or condition that makes a person behave in a moral fashion.

Continue reading “Church Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church”

Christian University, Liberty University, Hires Guy for Athletic Director Role Who Ignored Gang Rape Reports by Women At His Previous College Employer – according to news reports

Christian University, Liberty University, Hires Guy for Atheletic Director Role Who Ignored Gang Rape Reports by Women At His Previous College Employer – according to news reports

I can’t say as though I am surprised by this story.

A lot of Christians and Christian institutions have sexist, out-dated views about women and sexual assault. They still blame women for being raped, while diminishing the role the male rapist plays in the rape.

Many of these conservative Christian groups, colleges, and persons (who tend to be “gender complementarian” in outlook) claim to care deeply about women and the safety of women, but their actions show they do not truly care about girls and women.

I find it hypocritical that so many conservative Christians place a lop-sided premium on a woman’s virginity (and no value on a man’s virginity), but they do nothing to safe-guard a woman’s virginity being taken from her against her will by a rapist.

Or, if a woman is raped and her virginity is taken (assuming she was a virgin at the time of the rape), these Christian groups, persons, and universities do nothing to hold the rapist accountable – or they seem very reluctant to do so.

Even under Old Testament laws, a male rapist had to marry his female victim or face other consequences (which was a way for a female rape victim in those days to avoid facing ostracism and other negative ramifications – not that I advocate for rape victims to have to marry their attackers). How strange that certain types Christians these days take rape less seriously than Old Testament cultures in some ways.

I am not comfortable with trans-women being allowed into women’s restrooms as I discuss (Link): in this post, and I see many conservative Christians are also wary of allowing men into women’s restrooms, and this fear is in large part due to the idea that men with bad motives will use Trans rules and laws to rape or otherwise sexually harass girls and women in areas once considered female-only (such as women’s bathrooms or locker rooms).

However, I wonder why those same Christians are so willing to have such lackadaisical attitudes towards women being raped by Christian men in or on Christian university sports programs or Christian campuses?

There are two different links below related to this story. First link:

(Link 1): Liberty University’s hiring of ex-Baylor AD sends a chilling message about sexual assault by Adam Kilgore

Excerpts:

Liberty and its president, Jerry Falwell Jr., hired a man in the midst of ongoing litigation relating to the high-profile disgrace that forced him from his old job.

McCaw ran the athletic program in which law firm Pepper Hamilton, tabbed by the school to perform an independent investigation, found “a failure to identify and respond to a pattern of sexual violence by a football player, to take action in response to reports of a sexual assault by multiple football players, and to take action in response to a report of dating violence.”

Evidently, that did not disqualify McCaw from landing the same position at Liberty.

Fifty-three percent of the roughly 15,000 students who attend Liberty University are women. How were they supposed to feel when they woke up Tuesday morning? How should their parents feel?

Continue reading “Christian University, Liberty University, Hires Guy for Athletic Director Role Who Ignored Gang Rape Reports by Women At His Previous College Employer – according to news reports”

Report: Sleazy Christian Celebrity Evangelist Clayton Jennings Uses Youth Ministry to Groom Young Women Into Casual Sex Then Offers Them Morning After Pill

Report: Sleazy Christian Celebrity Evangelist Uses Youth Ministry to Groom Young Women Into Casual Sex Then Offers Them Morning After Pill

This report comes by way of J. D. Hall, who I am not a fan of (I’ve blogged about him before). My Twitter acquaintance, DefendTheSheep, first tweeted the link to this page, which was written by Hall; she felt it was worth a look.

Even though I do not much care for Hall and consider him somewhat of a bully, I do think it’s good he’s shedding light on this instance of sexual abuse.

(Link): Celebrity Preacher Clayton Jennings: Sex, Alcohol, and the Morning After Pill

Updates:

(Link): Clayton Jennings: His Admission, New Victims and FAQ

(Link): Disgraced Evangelist Clayton Jennings Enlists “Mentor” Tony Nolan for Dramatic Apology Video

(Link): Clayton Jennings: His Victim Speaks Up

(Link): Revoked: Clayton Jennings Loses Ministry Endorsement of Home Church

(Link): Celebrity Preacher Loses ‘License’ After Wooed Women Come Forward Citing Sex, Booze & Morning-After Pill

(Link):  Evangelist Clayton Jennings Steps Away From Ministry After Multiple Sex Partners Come Forward (Dec 2016)

According to Hall’s report, this evangelist guy, Jennings, uses his ministry to groom young women into one-night stands.

According to Hall, Jennings targeted one young woman who he saw on Facebook – he contacted her first and began flirting with her (my understanding is that she was following his Facebook ministry page). He started messaging her, asking her to send him nude photos of herself.

She attempted to rebuff him, but Jennings was quite persistent. He told her he felt as though God wanted him to marry her, etc, and so on – lots of sweet talk.

It appears to me, based on Hall’s writing, as though this Jennings guy is using his ministry to exploit naive, young women who have terrible boundaries.

His pastor father stepped in to defend him, too. The whole family sounds like a family of dirt bags.

This is yet another example of why I encourage single, Christian women to drop the “equally yoked” teaching.

Continue reading “Report: Sleazy Christian Celebrity Evangelist Clayton Jennings Uses Youth Ministry to Groom Young Women Into Casual Sex Then Offers Them Morning After Pill”

30 Girls Rescued From Pastor’s Sex Camp – Some of The Girls Say the Pastor Raped Them

30 Girls Rescued From Pastor’s Sex Camp

(Link): 30 Girls Rescued From Pastor’s Sex Camp

Sep 1, 2016

General Overseer, Tongue of Fire Restoration Ministry, Chukwuma Nkwocha, is now in the custody of police in Lagos for allegedly camping about 30 young girls as sex slaves.

The 38-year-old Nkwocha, whose church is located at Sogunle area of Lagos metropolis, was accused of sleeping with the young girls, whose ages range from 10 to 15 years.

The state Police Public Relations Officer (PPRO), SP Dolapo Badmos, confirmed the arrest of the GO. The PPRO said the Commissioner of Police, Mr. Fatai Owoseni, had ordered investigation into the case. She said: “The command rescued about 30 young girls from the pastor’s custody.

Two of them acknowledged he had canal knowledge of them. However, investigation is ongoing.”

(Link):  “I have only slept with one of them” Says General Overseer who was Allegedly Using over 30 Girls as Sex Slaves

The General Overseer of Tongue of Fire Ministry, Shogunle, Lagos, Chukwuma Nkwocha, 38, who was arrested by the police for camping over 30 teenagers in his house and using them as sex slaves, has said that he only slept with one of them.

Vanguard reports that one of the girls had reported to the police after she and the pastor had a misunderstanding.

Continue reading “30 Girls Rescued From Pastor’s Sex Camp – Some of The Girls Say the Pastor Raped Them”

Christian Married Father (Promoted by His Christian Employer as being a Family Values Guy) Sexually Assaulted Boys at Christian Camp, Some During Bible Study, Say News Reports – And He Led Sexual Purity Classes for Kids

Christian Married Father (Promoted by His Christian Employer as being a Family Values Guy) Sexually Assaulted Boys at Christian Camp, Some During Bible Study, Say News Reports – And He Led Sexual Purity Classes for Kids

Several Christian blogs have been covering this story lately.

A married Christian father named Peter Newman is reported to have sexually assaulted under-aged boys that he met at a Christian camp called Kamp Kanakuk in Missouri.

A guy named Joe White is the CEO of Kanakuk Ministries, which includes Kamp Kanakuk.

Newman, the reports say, invited some of these boys over to camp property in off-season, after hours, or to his home – sometimes under the pretense of having them over for Bible study.

According to online news, Newman told some of the boys if they allowed him to masturbate them (or vice versa), it would eliminate sexual temptation for them. These reports say Newman also went on to sodomize these boys or perform oral sex on them (or them on him).

If I am understanding the blog coverage and secular news reports correctly, even though the Christians who ran the camp knew (yes, they knew) that this Newman guy was allegedly fondling children, they did nothing about it.

Further (again, if I am understanding the coverage correctly) Newman was later hired to work at Fellowship Memphis Church, a church which (Link): also protected another known sexual deviant who preyed on girls and women within their church during church hours, despite the fact the folks there were aware of his deviant history.

Of course I find child sexual abuse to be horrible, evil, and deviant.

However, the focus of my blog is not child abuse per se.

I tend to focus on the topic of adult singleness and issues that may be of interest to singles – such as how Christians love to discriminate against, or otherwise ignore, singles, and how they promote this bogus notion that married parents are morally superior to single, childless adults. So, when I link to stories about child abuse, it tends to be in a way that relates to singleness.

When I was reading up on this story – mostly skimming articles, I’ve been a little busy lately to devote much time to writing posts for this blog – I noted how some of the promotional work for this Newman guy by Christians at the camp kept emphasizing what  a godly, stand-up guy he supposedly is.

These Christian groups were saying he’s a real great example of “Family Values.”

At one point, the Christians (either the Christian camp or the church, I don’t recall which) had Newman work as a (get this!) speaker about sexual purity for teens at some Christian conference.

Continue reading “Christian Married Father (Promoted by His Christian Employer as being a Family Values Guy) Sexually Assaulted Boys at Christian Camp, Some During Bible Study, Say News Reports – And He Led Sexual Purity Classes for Kids”

Preacher Flogs Two Adult Singles for Fornicating

Preacher Flogs Two Adult Singles for Fornicating and Contemplating Abortion

I believe I first saw this news story via Watchkeep’s Twitter.

I do think most (American) churches are too lax about sexual sin – they either refuse to call fornication (pre-marital sex) out for the sin it is, or they water it down to make it sound like not such a big deal (as do a lot of people who complain about “purity culture” on blogs and social media).

Having said that, I do think that flogging people for pre-marital sex is extreme and should not be done. That is a kooky over-reaction to fornication, to say the least.

I wonder if this preacher also flogs married people who commit adultery?

About the only positive thing I can say about this (and no, I’m not condoning it) is the guy at least held the young man equally responsible. Often times, these types of religious guys will blame the woman, and only the woman, for sexual sin, while the male gets off scot-free.

(Link):  Ghanaian Pastor who Flogged Church Members for Fornicating Arrested over N964m Fraud

August 2016

Police have arrested the controversial Ghanaian Preacher Bishop Daniel Obinim, who was seen in a viral video, flogging two people, purported to be his step children, for allegedly having sex and attempting to abort the resulting pregnancy.

Continue reading “Preacher Flogs Two Adult Singles for Fornicating”