Thoughts Regarding the Essay “3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing”
Over at SCCL, this Relevant editorial was under discussion – (Link): here, on Facebook. You may want to read the comments there – this is one of those times I am in agreement with some (or most) of the SCCL commentators
Here is the article itself:
(Link): 3 Things Every Single Person Needs to Stop Doing by Q. Ross
I feel some of the advice on the page is okay – the author, Ross, basically tells you if you’re a single who wants to be married, go out and live your life – go on a cruise or whatever, don’t just sit around waiting for your life to start. That’s not necessarily bad advice.
In her editorial, Ross coaches singles not to complain about being single, which is a point I don’t agree with. Singles should be permitted to complain about being single if it helps them cope with the hurt, stress, or frustrations of being single, especially if the single in question had wanted to be married.
Singles needs to be heard (included any negative thoughts or emotions they’d like to share about singleness), not shushed by Christians who are uncomfortable with strong emotion. Singles don’t need any more platitudes, either.
Where things go south is where she suggests that if you’re still single, it’s because you have something wrong with you – God, she implies, is waiting for you to meet some kind of criteria before he will send you a spouse.
For example, Ross writes this:
Instead of complaining, show God that you are content with him alone and then maybe He’ll trust you with a relationship. He wants to know that when He does bring someone into your life, you won’t bail on Him and worship the gift rather than the gift-giver.
As I’ve said time and again on my blog, I’ve seen far too many losers, weirdos, and violent people – whether Christian or not – who get married to believe that God requires people to become wonderful, mature, godly, or what have you, to earn a spouse.