A Newly Published Survey Shows that Only Half of US Women Under 45 Have Children

A Newly Published Survey Shows that Only Half of US Women Under 45 Have Children

I am not anti-marriage or anti-Nuclear Family, but I also don’t support conservatives who marginalize or shame adult singles for being single (and/or for being childless) and who slavishly focus on things like the marriage or birth rate declining.

All my fellow conservatives will do when or if they see reports like the one below (about half of women not having children) is to write more propaganda pieces shaming women for being childless, when they should accept the situation for what it is and start asking themselves how can they, or society, support childless adult women better?

No amount of conservative shaming will cause women to suddenly run out and start having children.

As to the women who’d like to marry prior to having children – they don’t believe in or want to have children out of wedlock – conservatives have no solutions, including Christian ones.

Christians scream and yell at single Christian women to marry, but there are no single men for Christian women to marry, unless they are willing to marry Non-Christian men, and the Christians who cling to the “equally yoked” rule won’t tolerate that.

All these conservatives – Christians and otherwise – won’t lift a finger to actually help a single women who’d like to marry (and possibly have children) to marry.

If you’re a conservative who complains about single women being single (and/or childless), and yet, you’re not lifting a finger to actually help marriage-desiring single women to marry, you are part of the problem and have not earned a right to opine on these issues. So keep your nuclear-family- and pro-natalism- worshipping pie hole shut.

All those types of conservatives do is shame women for being single (and childless) and complain about women being single and childless…. shaming women for being single or childless won’t help women get married and / or have children, and complaining about a problem will not solve a problem.

Writing editorials extolling the supposed wonders of motherhood will not actually bring a husband into a woman’s life.

Help the single women get married first, then those women can have children (if they choose to have children).

Shaming, guilt tripping, pressuring, or lecturing women into marrying and/or having children does not work, and it may end up in some women making some very long lasting harmful decisions – and those pushing these women into marriage and motherhood won’t be there to pick up the pieces.

(Link):  US births continue to decline as nearly half of women under 45 are childless: study 

January 12, 2023

The number of births in the US has continued to decline — repeating a decades-long trend — as nearly half of American women under 45 are childless, according to a new study.

(Link): U.S. birth rates reach record lows – even though number of kids most people say they want remains steady 

(Link):  The modern family size is changing. Four charts show how.

Delayed parenthood and fewer kids: An analysis of new fertility data shows how the modern U.S. family has evolved over time.

January 12, 2023

By Aria Bendix and Joe Murphy
Families are smaller and people are waiting longer to have children than in years past, according to an NBC News analysis of data released this week by the National Center for Health Statistics.

The overall fertility rate in the U.S. declined from 2015 to 2020, additional NCHS data shows, reaching a low of fewer than 6 births per 100 women ages 15 to 44. (The rate then rose 1% from 2020 to 2021, though the overall trend still faces downward.)

The U.S. birth rate — the number of births per 1,000 women — declined from 2018 to 2019 among women in their 20s and early 30s but increased among women ages 35 to 44, the report showed.

Sociologists pointed to a few factors that may explain these trends. One is that contraception has become more reliable, while another is that people are getting married later in life, and most births in the U.S. still happen within marriage.

Dating Deal Breakers: Why You’re Being Rejected

Dating Deal Breakers: Why You’re Being Rejected

(Link): Why you were rejected: Body odor and being a ‘know-it-all’ top list of dating dealbreakers

Jan 10, 2023
by Chris Melore

LONDON — Rejection can sting, but the not-knowing why you were rejected can sting far longer. New research is shedding some light into the various reasons that people suddenly end relationships.

The strangest reasons people have called it off with a partner include them having dirty fingernails, being rude to a waiter, ugly tattoos, and being too clingy.

The poll of 2,000 British adults finds that over half (65%) have ended a relationship because of an “ick” — trait that turns them off — and 88 percent of them have ghosted someone completely.

For example, one in seven men (14%) would  happily break it off with someone who wanted to share food on a first date. Sixteen percent of women find wearing a tacky watch is an “ick,” while 15 percent judge someone else for referring to their favorite sports team as if they were part of the actual team.

It seems as if superstition may not be so welcomed by singles. Nearly one in six (15%) have called it quits with a romantic interest because they were obsessed with astrological star signs.

Tragedy as Man Dies Two Weeks After His Fiancee Was Killed in House Fire – Pending Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Health or Happiness

Tragedy as Man Dies Two Weeks After His Fiancee Was Killed in House Fire – Pending Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Health or Happiness

Yet another news story that shatters the conservative narrative about marriage – that it will make you happy and healthy (and I say this as a conservative myself).

Both members of this couple (who were slated to get married weeks away) are now dead.

I’d rather be ‘single and alive’ than ‘planning to get married shortly yet dead from a fire.’

(I have other examples on my blog of people who died during their wedding, or shortly before or after.)

(Link): Tragedy as man dies in hospital on Boxing Day two weeks after his fiancée was killed in a fire that ripped through their home – as heartbroken family say ‘perfect couple’ are now ‘reunited forever’

Dec 28, 2022

A man has died following a deadly fire at a home in Cheshire just two weeks after it claimed the life of his fiancée, as their grieving families say they are ‘reunited forever’.

Kieran Naylor, 33, died on Boxing Day after spending two weeks in a critical condition in hospital after the fire in the early hours of December 12 at their home on Delph Lane, Daresbury.

Partner Rebecca Foster, 32, died from her injuries on December 13, leaving Mr Naylor fighting for his life at Whiston Hospital.

The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin – Why Women Are Still Single in Their 30s and Older

The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin

I’m a conservative, but I’ve been beyond fed up for years now at how so many other conservatives, as well as sexists of whatever variety, assume that the reason why most women are single past the age of 30 is because they chose career before marriage.

Along with that is the other annoying, very wrong, and sexist assumption by men online that all of us women who remain single past the age of 30 had lots and lots of “nice guys” who wanted to date us back in our 20s, but we coldly, cruelly turned them all down.

I don’t know what the hell those men are talking about, because I did not have lots and lots of men asking me out on dates when I was in my twenties.

But it’s simply not true that all women choose career over “marriage and family.”

Why aren’t men giving up careers to be stay at home fathers, taking care of children?

I never cared much one way or the other if I ever had children, but I had wanted to be married. And I’m not single because I “chose career over spouse.”

I have more observations about this essay below:

(Link): The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin

The image of the single, childless “career woman” is drawn so sharply in our minds, so deeply ingrained in culture and overused in media, it obfuscates the real story. Contrary to popular belief, most working women are not putting their careers ahead of love, marriage and motherhood.

Never mind that there are no “career men” — no one accuses a single, childless man of prioritizing career over love and family just because he’s single and can pay the rent.

But women are made to wear this label — though I have yet to meet a woman who has declined a date with a guy she’s interested in because she’d rather be on a Zoom call.

While college-educated women are settling down and having children later than was once the case, the “career woman” is mostly a mid-century myth, an outlier like Mad Men’s Peggy Olson, who belongs to a time when women went to college to earn their “MRS” degree.

Florida Man Throws Christmas Tree at Wife After Being Asked to Help With Dinner

Florida Man Throws Christmas Tree at Wife After Being Asked to Help With Dinner

🎄🎄🎄

Ho ho ho! 🎅 Does being married guarantee happiness, contentment, and inner peace? No it does not!

So if you’re single this holiday and bummed out about it, don’t be! You can enjoy your own company… which is preferable to having an idiot spouse throw a Christmas tree at you.

(Link): Florida man is arrested after hitting his wife with a CHRISTMAS TREE after she asked him to help her with dinner

Dec 15, 2022

A Florida man was arrested after bashing his wife with a Christmas tree after he became enraged when she asked him to help prepare dinner.

Richard Daniel Atchison, 52, was arrested on Monday around 7pm on felony charges including false imprisonment, violation of an injunction and domestic battery, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by DailyMail.com.

…The disturbing incident occurred when Atchison ‘lost his temper’ after the couple got into an argument inside their Fruitland Park home.

(Link): Florida Man Throws Christmas Tree at Wife After Being Asked to Help With Dinner

December 14, 2022
By Pilar Arias , Fox News

A Florida man allegedly threw a Christmas tree at his wife during an argument that was sparked when she asked him to help make dinner, authorities said.

Richard Atchison, 52, “lost his temper” in the couple’s Fruitland Park home Monday evening after his wife asked for help and put a spoon in the sink, accidentally splashing him with water, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by FOX 35 Orlando.

Simple Steps for Managing Holiday Loneliness by C. Pearson

Simple Steps for Managing Holiday Loneliness by C. Pearson

(Link): Simple Steps for Managing Holiday Loneliness – NY Times, paywall

Excerpts:

by C. Pearson

…Loneliness is subjective. During the holidays, you can be surrounded by friends and family and feel totally isolated. Alternatively, you can be alone and feel completely at peace.

…When loneliness hits, it is possible to help yourself through it and lighten the feeling, experts say. These five strategies can help.

Do something for others

Volunteering is a proven buffer against stress and depressive symptoms and can be particularly effective in lessening feelings of isolation. That is because loneliness tends to draw people’s attention inward, while giving back turns it outward, Dr. Floyd said.

…Informal gestures help ease feelings of isolation, as well. Dr. Holt-Lunstad led research showing that performing small acts of kindness toward neighbors — like dropping off groceries, watering their plants or simply chatting for a bit — can help people feel less solitary.

Tap into your creativity

[Studies have shown that people feel less lonely if they are engaging in a creative activity, even if they are doing the activity alone]

…Creative expression can take many forms, Dr. Holt-Lunstad said. You might paint or craft. Perhaps you write or play an instrument. Maybe you finally take on that D.I.Y. project in your home.

The One Question You Should Never Ask a Single Person at Christmas by J. Hocking

The One Question You Should Never Ask a Single Person at Christmas by J. Hocking

(Link): The one question you should never ask a single person at Christmas

Excerpts:

by Jana Hocking
December 15, 2022

This time of year can put a shiver up the spine of most singletons.

Yes, it’s Christmastime, and oopsy daisy, you forgot to bag yourself a partner in time for dinner with the family.

You’re armoring up for the “Why haven’t you got yourself a partner yet?” question from annoying relatives with good hearts, and the idea of waking up by yourself instead of to a boisterous house full of children and a sexy husband can seem pretty darn crappy.

Except … it’s not.

You see, we focus so much on the traditional side of Christmas, we forget that this time of year as a singleton is actually ridiculously fun.

Don’t believe me? Let me point out a few reasons why you can thank the Lord he didn’t throw your soulmate into your direct path this year.

1. Sweet, sweet freedom

Unlike partnered-up couples who are arguing about who will be designated driver, and trying to figure out whose family gets Christmas and whose gets Boxing Day, you get the glorious gift of freedom to pick and choose to do whatever the heck you want for Christmas.

A Fake Romeo, Patrick Giblin, Charmed More Than 100 Women with Promises of Romance, Then Scammed Them. Now He’s Going to Prison

A Fake Romeo, Patrick Giblin, Charmed More Than 100 Women with Promises of Romance, Then Scammed Them. Now He’s Going to Prison

Christians really set women up to make easy targets for the man in this news story, and Christians, with their “gender complementarian” teachings, pressure women to stay IN relationships with dishonest, manipulative trash like this, if the woman marries the guy.

Christians, by and large, are naive, and the way they teach believers, especially girls and women, to live life, makes them very susceptible to being taken in by scammers.

(Link): STOLE HER HEART Inside heartless crimes of ‘fake Romeo’ Patrick Giblin likened to Tinder Swindler who scammed hundreds out of thousands 

(Link): Police say this dude presented himself as a rich, suave Romeo to con dozens of women out of more than $250,000

(Link): A fake Romeo, Patrick Giblin, charmed more than 100 women with promises of romance, then scammed them. Now he’s going to prison

by Faith Karimi, CNN
Dec 10, 2022

Patrick Giblin was like the American version of the “Tinder Swindler” – but without the private jets.

He wooed women with stories about his respectable family – his father was a judge, he said – and beachfront property in Atlantic City, New Jersey, where he said he worked in the casino industry, according to a federal criminal complaint. He told them he was ready to settle down and was more interested in a woman’s inner beauty than her outward appearance.

He vowed that distance was not an issue because he had access to discount flights and was even ready to move to a woman’s city to further their romance.

But federal officials say those were all lies, concocted to swindle women looking for love through dating sites. A review of plea agreements and federal complaints show that Giblin conned at least 100 women over two decades, coaxing them out of more than $250,000 with false promises followed by requests for short-term loans that were never repaid.

“He preyed on vulnerabilities, promising to end the loneliness of a woman who had recently ended a long-term relationship or soothing someone who recently suffered the death of a loved one,” said a report by federal prosecutors in New Jersey. “Giblin would convince these women that he was willing to relocate to their locales but needed money wired to do so.”

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study – reportage by Leonardo Blair

And what do conservative Christians (who tend to be hyper-pro-marriage-and-pro-parenthood-and-pro-nuclear family) do BUT to highly pressure and shame single, childless adults into marrying.

I did a post here years ago about a woman who says she felt pressured to marry by her church, so she ended up marrying the wrong guy, and she regretted it, and she divorced (link to that is below, under “Related Posts”).

Christians and pro-nuclear family conservatives deify marriage (and parenthood and the nuclear family) to such an un-biblical, absurd degree that they end up alienating, insulting, and marginalizing any adult who doesn’t marry or have kids for whatever reason, and it needs to stop.

And by the way, for single adult women who had wanted to marry but remain single after the age of 30, 40, or older, getting married is not easy, but so many conservatives incorrectly assume that if you want marriage, it is easy-peasy, it’s a total snap, that if you want marriage, it will “just happen”,

(or, conservatives – and sometimes secular liberals, too – incredibly, insultingly, and unrealistically – expect single, adult women to “settle” for marrying stupid, abusive, weird, disturbed, sexist, ugly, fat, or idiot men
– of course, they hypocritically would not expect their own single adult daughter to marry a loser or weirdo (no, they advise their own single adult daughter to hold out for a quality catch),
but they feel fine advising non-family single females they run into to marry ANY GUY with a pulse who they cross paths with – it is so hypocritical and demeaning).

If one is a single, adult woman who desires marriage, it is not easy to find a decent, compatible man to marry – not on dating sites, bars, or in churches, either (most churches lack marrying-age single men, and some of the men who attend are abusive or are pedophiles who want to marry an adult woman to act as a “beard” to hide their sexual attraction to children).

(Link): Couples Who Marry Due to Family, Social Pressure 50% More Likely to Divorce: Study by Leonardo Blair

Excerpts:

Nov 2, 2022
by Leonardo Blair

Couples who get married due to family or social pressure are up to 50% more at risk of having a union that ends in divorce, according to a recent study from the Marriage Foundation in England and Wales.

The study, “Attitudes towards marriage and commitment,” published in October, asked 2,000 adults who had ever married how much they agreed or disagreed with each of 12 reasons presented by researchers for why they got married.

To ensure that the findings were relevant to today’s families, researchers then focused on 905 couples from the sample who married for the first time after the year 2000 when online dating emerged.

“What this research shows conclusively is that the reasons why people get married has a significant material impact to whether they stay together. While this might seem obvious, this has never been quantified,” said Harry Benson, Marriage Foundation’s research director, in a statement about the study shared with The Christian Post. “But the message is clear. Get married for love and your future together and not because it is either expected of you or because of family pressure.”

What I Wish the Church Knew About Singles by Elizabeth Riese

What I Wish the Church Knew About Singles by Elizabeth Riese

(Link): What I Wish the Church Knew About Singles by Elizabeth Riese

-via Relevant’s site, which permits the reader five free articles per month…. anything beyond that requires a subscription

Excerpts:

October 27, 2022

… Singleness is not a subject that is foreign to me — I have been single the majority of my 30 years of life. In recent years, I have found myself declaring to my friends often how tragically imperfect the Church is in its attitude toward single people.

There often seems to be a sense in Christian circles that being single means you have not yet “arrived” or been made complete. Marriage is often spoken about as the most sanctifying experience a believer can have, helping a person become more like Jesus as they learn to unconditionally love their spouse.

Yet, as Dr. Bella DePaulo pointed out on the CXMH: On Faith & Mental Health podcast, there are many events in life besides marriage that are sanctifying. Grief, suffering, pain, loss — each of these experiences can deeply shape a person and make them more like Christ. Why do we like to hold up marriage as the experience that makes us most like our Savior, who was never married Himself?

Even further, the Church’s focus on and exaltation of marriage often leads to a neglect of discussing the very real struggles and issues inherent in singleness.

…The truth is that being single is not a curse, but that doesn’t mean it’s easy. It can be lonely and isolating and downright discouraging at times. And it often feels like the Church is doing little to help.

Another Misleading Christian Propaganda Piece About Marriage: ‘She Was Widowed With 3 Kids At 25 But God Had Plans For Her And A Widower To Find Love Again’

Another Misleading Christian Propaganda Piece About Marriage: ‘She Was Widowed With 3 Kids At 25 But God Had Plans For Her And A Widower To Find Love Again’

If this married couple is happy, I’m happy for them.

My problem is not with the couple particularly (well, maybe a little bit, but more on that way below), but my primary concern is that Christian outlets keep carrying these stories, stories which can be very misleading to single, Christian adults who read them and wonder,
“Why did God bless these two in this story with a spouse, but God never sent me a spouse? Where is the spouse I spent years praying for and trusting in God for?”

There are a lot of Christian women out there who wanted to be married, but it never happened for them, including devout Christian women who followed all the evangelical, Baptist, or otherwise Christian, rules they were taught to follow when younger on how to get married.

A devout Christian single who desires marriage can live a godly life, devoted to Jesus, and follow all the “how to get married” books and magazine articles by Christians – but still never get married. Such a person can find him or herself single into his or her 30s, 40s, 50s, or older.

I don’t see too many Christians or publications admit to that possibility and reality – and it’s not just me. In my years of blogging here, I’ve seen many other single, Christian women (and some men) say they are in the same situation, and not just online but on occasionally on Christian television shows that take viewer questions for advice.

I have a lot more to say below this link and excerpts, so please keep reading and scrolling:

(Link): She Was Widowed With 3 Kids At 25 But God Had Plans For Her And A Widower To Find Love Again

Excerpts:

By Mel Johnson On June 23, 2022

Brittany and Daniel Brooker were both widowed at young ages and both had small children to raise. But God led them through their grief to one day find love again as the Brooker Bunch!

At weddings, a couple vows to love one another for “as long as they both shall live.” And most of us assume that life will span multiple decades.

Sadly, though, that’s not always the case. Sometimes lives are cut short. And that was the case for the first marriages of Brittany and Daniel Brooker.

What do Female Incels Really Want? By Kaitlyn Tiffany

What do Female Incels Really Want? By Kaitlyn Tiffany

(Link): What do Female Incels Really Want?

Excerpts:

By Kaitlyn Tiffany
May 12, 2022

“We were all ugly,” Amanda, a 22-year-old student from Florida told me, recalling the online community she found when she was 18. “Men didn’t like us, guys didn’t want to be with us, and it was fine to acknowledge it.”

This Reddit forum was called r/Trufemcels, and she commented there under the username “strangeanduglygrl.” Amanda didn’t post very often, but she checked in every day on the community of self-identified “femcels,” or involuntarily celibate women. (I agreed to refer to her by her first name only, to separate her current life from her former internet identity.)

They came to complain about the superficiality of men and the privilege of pretty women, and to share their experiences moving through the world in an unattractive body, which therefore disadvantaged them romantically, socially, and economically.

They were finding the modern dating landscape—the image-based apps, the commodified dating “market,” the illusory “freedom” to be found in hookup culture—to be unnavigable, and they talked about taking a “pink pill,” and opening their eyes to the reality that society was misogynistic and “lookist.”