Miserable in a Marriage to a Covert Narcissist – Content by Renee Swanson – Complementarians Push People to Stay in Toxic Marriages Like This One (This Content Can Help Single Adults Too)

Miserable in a Marriage to a Covert Narcissist – Content by Renee Swanson (This Content Can Help Single Adults Too) – Complementarians Push People to Stay in Toxic Marriages Like This One

This post has been edited to add more material

It would be nice if more psychologists, therapists and lay persons wrote articles or blog posts from the vantage of how things affect single adults, but that’s not always the case.

As you know from my blog, I am a never married, middle-aged adult. Yet, I still find some content about marriage helpful in navigating or understanding my relationships with family members and friends.

This lady, Renee Swanson, has a blog, several social media channels, and a podcast about having been married to a Covert (Vulnerable) Narcissist for 21 years – in my opinion, based on what she’s written, her husband is not only a Covert Narcissist but displays elements of what is called Neglectful Narcissism (more on that below).

It looks to me as though some of Swanson’s accounts have not been updated in two or so years, but the content is still quite helpful and illuminating.

I’m going to excerpt a few of her blog posts below.

I want you to note that contrary to what extreme marriage (and parenthood and nuclear family) promoters have to say, that marriage (and parenthood, etc), does not necessarily make a person happy, safe, and secure, as Renee Swanson’s content once again demonstrates.

The person you marry, should you marry, can end up being emotionally, sexually, financially, or physically controlling, negligent, or irresponsible.

There are some personality disorders for which there is no cure, and for which the disorder is largely impervious to therapy.

Which means, should you marry someone with one of those disorders, such as severe pathological narcissism, your partner is never going to change or get better, no matter what you do, no matter how hard you try, or how much you do for them, love them, or pray for them.

I think that the Christian gender complementarian interpretation of the Bible is incorrect on many topics, but certainly in regards to divorce.

Many complementarian persons, churches, denominations, and pastors believe that the Bible never allows for divorce, including in cases of physical, sexual, and/or emotional abuse.

Such anti-divorce, complementarian churches and pastors frequently mistakenly teach people (usually women) who are married to abusers to simply submit more to their spouse, and that will make the mistreatment stop. Such pastors, churches, etc, are entirely ignorant about personality disorders and abuse dynamics.

If these complementarian, anti-divorce clowns spent any time at all looking up information on abuse dynamics or personality disorders, they would learn soon enough that there is nothing another person can do to fix, change, or heal an abusive or toxic person – and the spouse sure won’t be able to do it.

I’ve never married, but I’ve had family members, co-workers, bosses, friends, and acquaintances display presence of disorders or toxic behaviors, and no matter how kind and loving I was to those persons, it didn’t get their abuse of me to stop.

In each case, I either had to limit contact with the toxic person, or cut them out of my life entirely. The same should be true of marriage – you may have to limit contact with your toxic spouse (grey rocking or yellow rocking), or divorce the person.

The following blog post by Renee (the second one featured below, particularly) accurately explains many family and friendship relationships I’ve had over the course of my life.

I used to be extremely Codependent until a few years ago, and during the time I was Codependent, I often attracted Vulnerable Narcissists, or self absorbed, perpetually angry (or depressed) people, who would contact me mainly to complain to me about their problems, where they’d expect me to just listen and give empathy, something I did for many people for many years, and it left me mentally exhausted.

And those who used me as their “Free Therapist” rarely did anything to work on their own problems or their own mental health.

Such persons preferred to take their frustration, disappointment, pain, or anger in life, and phone or text me about it, and make their pain my pain.

It’s as though some of them wanted me to handle or carry their inner pain for them, so they wouldn’t have to face it or carry it themselves. But no person can do that for another person. It’s something we must each do for ourselves.

And the people dumping all their pain or anger in life on me very rarely (or never) allowed me to discuss MY pain or MY frustrations in life with THEM.

When you are a people pleaser, an emotional dependent, a Codependent, or an empath with no boundaries, you will often end up in these unfair friendships (or marriages), where you’re meeting the needs of the perpetually wounded or disordered person, but they generally refuse to meet your needs in return.

(Link):  The Narcissist’s Constant Victim Role

Excerpts:

by Renee Swanson

Covert narcissists are constant victims. Everyone has done them wrong. Everyone has injured their precious ego at some point or another.

The whole world is responsible for their anger, negativity, lack of initiative, lack of motivation, and even their lack of empathy. From the tiniest injury to the grandest, the narcissist continues to be the never-ending victim.

This causes all relationships with the narcissist to be strained and exhausting.

When the narcissist plays the victim so well, it leaves you with two roles in life. You are either the therapist or the enemy. You are either the rescuer or the perpetrator.

The trouble is that healthy people do not want to play these roles with their loved ones.

Your Role as a Therapist

Healthy individuals recognize that they cannot serve as a rescuer to their parent, spouse, adult child, friend, boss, etc. When a person is constantly relying on your approval and validation in order to feel good about themselves, this is not a healthy situation.

You are not helping them or yourself. You are not their therapist and should not serve as such. They need to be working on their own problems on their own, just as you should be with yours.

… Your Role As Enemy

… That peace, however [that you get from constantly apologizing to the Covert Narcissist], will be short-lived. There are not enough apologies in the world to satisfy the victim role of a narcissist.

Their pain comes from within, and yet they constantly look for external reasons and external solutions. Those solutions will NEVER be good enough. To stop being the perpetrator, you have to set your own boundaries and walk away.
— end excerpts —

You’ll note in this next blog post, excerpted below, how being married to this Covert Narcissist of hers, whom she refers to as Steven (not his real name) for 21 years did not bring this lady any joy or peace.

She does say in other podcasts or blog posts, and I think maybe this one, that there were a few moments of happiness with her husband here and there, but ultimately, her spouse would display his sullen, entitled, insensitive nature the majority of the time.

The thing about abusive or toxic people is that they are rarely abusive or toxic 100% of the time.

Abusive or toxic individuals have moments or days where they can be fun, loving, or considerate – so, you end up thinking the relationship is not so bad; it’s intermittent reinforcement (which I believe plays a role in “trauma bonding,” or is the basis of it) – that combined with fear and false hope can keep someone stuck in a terrible relationship for years.

Remember, just because your toxic or abusive person (family member, spouse, friend, whoever it is) occasionally acts nicely towards you, or treats you to a lovely dinner on your birthday, gifts you with a wonderful vacation or a ruby necklace, or whatever nice gesture or gift
– does not excuse or make-up for the rest of the relationship, where they are constantly invalidating you, neglecting you, nit picking you, overtly abusing you, or exploiting you!

Narcissists are known for “Love Bombing” their victims. You will waste years of your life on this person, longing to “bring back” the nice, sweet, kind funny version of them that they first put on display when you were first dating (or befriending) them, but that was a fake persona. It was never genuine.

The person who chronically invalidates or who ignores you now is the “real” them.

You’re never (permanently) getting back to that fake “nice, charming, loving” version of them again, unless they sense you are going to dump them, in which case, they will temporarily put on the “nice guy” (or the “I’m a poor, helpless victim in life, please help me, rescue me”) mask again (called “hoovering“) to “breadcrumb” you. Don’t fall for it.

(Link): How the Covert Narcissist Plays Rejection, Abandonment, and Abuse

Excerpts (you should read her ENTIRE post, not just the portion below):

by Renee Swanson

My marriage lasted almost 21 years. For most of these years, I convinced myself and the world that I had the perfect marriage. We were simply great together.

There was no other option available. The mind is powerful and can do amazing things. I truly believed that it was a match made in heaven and that he was perfect for me.

…Besides we had some really good days in between these outbursts. So I swept it under the rug every time and continued to believe that our marriage was great and wonderful.

Ever so slowly, my eyes started opening. …

Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England – All Other Churches, Christians, and Denominations Need To Take Direction from This Church on This Issue

Jesus was Single and Single People Should be Valued, Says Church of England

While I’m thrilled to see a church acknowledge single adults and correct the marriage-, parenthood-, and nuclear family- idolizing as committed by Baptists and other churches and denominations, unfortunately, the Church of England jumped on to the progressive ideology bandwagon by proclaiming they cannot, or will not, define “woman.”

Shame on the Church of England for enabling the sexist “transgender” movement, but they do at least correct the single-shaming views, attitudes, practices, and doctrines of so many other churches or denominations.

More Christians, more para-church groups, Southern Baptists, and other churches and denominations really do need to course-correct from the singles-shaming or singles-marginalizing they engage in, and they need to repent of worshipping Marriage, Natalism, The Nuclear Family, and Parenthood.

(Link):  Church of England Says To Celebrate Single People, Since Jesus Was Single, Too

The report is indicative of an attitude shift within the church, which has traditionally encouraged its followers to get married and have children.

(Link): Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, new report commissioned by two Archbishops urges

April 26, 2023

Single people should be valued by the Church of England just as much as couples, a major report has urged.

The study commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York points out that Jesus himself never married, and warns that single people may feel unwelcome if churches overuse the word family.

It also admits that being in a committed couple is no guarantee of being ‘happy ever after’ – and that even Adam and Eve had strains in their relationship.

…And it warns that ‘hook-up culture’ is now presented as normal to young girls but adds: ‘Loveless sex is not empowering.’

…The report says it is a ‘point of concern’ that the Government has increased the marriage age to 18 while leaving the age of consent at 16, saying: ‘It legally implies that sex before marriage is acceptable in a way that it was not legally until now.’

…Others who were divorced felt ‘unwelcome in their church and judged for their ‘failure’, with some leaving as a result.

‘Others commented that the declining numbers attending a church is symbolic of an institution which fails to understand and acknowledge the diversity of family life today,’ the report warns.

‘We heard that the Church of England often conveys an expectation of marriage which is not present in society, and that there is too much focus on marriage and family in the church community, especially as increasing numbers of people are choosing to remain single.’

…And it recommends that the Church: ‘Honour and celebrate singleness, whether through choice or circumstance, and recognise the full place of single people within the Church and society.’

It points out: ‘We are reminded that Jesus never married and remained single throughout his life. This was unusual as it was expected at that time that everyone would marry.’ 

(Link): A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

APRIL 26, 2023 / CBS NEWS

…A Church of England report released Wednesday said that single people “must be valued at the heart of our society.”

The 238-page report, titled “Love Matters,” was the third in a trilogy of major reports commissioned by the Archbishops of Canterbury and York. The first addressed housing and the second examined care and support.

The latest report, on families and households, reflected the church’s changing stance on singlehood and single-person households.

The church’s report acknowledged that a growing number of people elect to be single as a result of divorce, separation, the death of a partner, not having found a suitable partner, or as a deliberate lifestyle choice. It said that loving relationships matter to single people just as much as they do to those who are married with families.

The Gospel Coalition Says – in Sex Won’t Save You Essay – that (Married) Sex is a “Salvation Icon” that Supposedly “Points People to God” – TGC Making Christianity Irrelevant to Single, Celibate Adults

The Gospel Coalition Says – in Sex Won’t Save You Essay – that (Married) Sex is a “Salvation Icon” that Supposedly “Points People to God” -TGC Making Christianity Irrelevant to Single, Celibate Adults

I first began composing this on or around March 1 (or 2?), I have it set to be auto-published on March 4, and as of today, March 3, there’s been a lot more commentary on Twitter about this awful TGC marital sex article, to the point, TGC removed the original tweet linking to it, and I learned that one guy I quote-tweeted about it, a Brent McCracken, deleted his tweet that I quote tweeted (but I have a screen capture of it), and I was informed McCracken is head editor of TGC.

NOTE: I will edit this post after publication to add any more links or new content pertinent, so you may want to periodically re-visit this page and scroll down and skim over to find new links / videos, etc

I may be writing a follow up to this post later – a part two, if you will.

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Un-freaking-believable. I’ve been blogging here for over ten years, and during that time, have I not been pointing out that not only do most Christians now, even the conservatives, attack sexual purity, sexual abstinence, virginity-until-marriage, but they have also turned sex (and marriage, parenthood, the nuclear family) into idols that they worship, to the point they act distressed when they hear that fornication among singles has declined? (I have a few examples under “Related Posts” towards the bottom of this page.)

There’s more of this nonsense, courtesy of The Gospel Coalition.

It starts off well enough by recognizing that many in secular society have turned sex and relationships into idols, and seek to find love and purpose in romance and sex, but then it goes on to make the very distasteful point that sex can, or does, point people to God.

Also… if such a book begins by acknowledging that singleness is fine in a page or two (or paragraph or two) but then never-the-less 99% of the book remains focused on a Jesus-marriage-sex analogy, it’s undercutting any “it’s okay to be single” or “you don’t have to be married and having sex to have a relationship with God” message.

This is no different from the idiot pastors who make every other sermon in church about “how to have smokin’ hot sex with your spouse” but who thinks it’s okay to overly focus on marriage constantly, if they merely toss in the token, “Hey, you may be single, but this marital sermon can be applicable to you too.”

I’m sorry, but evangelical Protestants or Baptists making the majority of the non-stop deluge of comments, sermons, or books about marriage and married sex, while only offering passing lip service, to adult singleness and celibacy, is still elevating marriage (and sex) to an unhealthy, bizarre, un-Biblical degree that still marginalizes singleness.

Screen Cap of Gospel Coalition Tweet

While it is true for a long time that many in American culture have turned sex and romantic relationships into idols, or seek to find identity or purpose in such, it’s also true that for the past several years, many news headlines and studies have been published showing that a larger number of adults are declining to have sex, date, and/or marry.

If you’re trying to titillate a secular public into giving Jesus a try by using sex-God analogies or metaphors, in a society where having sex, dating, or marrying are no longer the norm and not very popular, it’s not going to work.

I mean, while Butler is writing his book comparing knowing the Trinity to marital sexual intercourse and pro-creation, other conservative outlets have been in pearl-clutching, severe worry mode, that marriage is on the decline, and they’re shaming women for not choosing motherhood, and some conservatives are even upset that single adults are not having as much sex prior to marriage as they used to.

(Link): Sex Won’t Save You (But It Points to the One Who Will)

Excerpts (citing free use):

by Josh Butler
March 1, 2023

…Our culture looks to sex for salvation too. We want romance to free us from solitary confinement, to deliver us into a welcome embrace. But idolizing sex results in slavery.

Sex wasn’t designed to be your salvation but to point you to the One who is.

Union with Christ
Sex is an icon of Christ and the church.  …

[The author then goes on to refer to a Bible verses which seem to refer to marriage, such as a man leaving his family and cleaving to his wife, etc]

… A husband and wife’s life of faithful love is designed to point to greater things, but so is their sexual union! This is a gospel bombshell: sex is an icon of salvation.

For Valentine’s Day, 5 Facts About Single Americans – from Pew Research

For Valentine’s Day, 5 Facts About Single Americans – from Pew Research

(Link): For Valentine’s Day, 5 facts about single Americans

Excerpts:

By Risa Gelles-Watnick

With Valentine’s Day around the corner, single Americans have a range of hopes when it comes to their romantic lives. Some dream of serious relationships, some are looking for casual dates and some are avoiding dating altogether.

 Here are five findings about single Americans, based on a Pew Research Center survey of U.S. adults conducted July 5-17, 2022.

… 2. The majority of single adults are not interested in being struck (or even grazed) by Cupid’s arrow. Among Americans who are single, the largest share – 57% – say they are not currently looking for a relationship or casual dates.

(In a February 2022 Center survey, single adults who were not looking for a relationship or dates identified a variety of reasons as to why, but enjoying being single and having other priorities topped the list.)

Even among adults who are “single and looking,” not everyone is interested in the same type of relationship.

Six Ways Single People Can Thrive This Valentine’s Day by J. Hocking

Six Ways Single People Can Thrive This Valentine’s Day by J. Hocking

(Link): Six Ways Single People Can Thrive This Valentine’s Day

by J. Hocking
February 2023

Confession.

I have been single for the last ten Valentine’s Days. Yes you read that right: T-E-N. So I’ve become quite the pro when it comes to navigating the day known to couples as ‘best day of the year’ and to singles, the day they want to curl up in a ball and die.

Those in a loved-up relationship will know the thrill of a big bunch of roses arriving at their work desk. To be paraded around the office as everyone comments “oh you lucky thing” while quietly filling their coffee cups up with hard liquor.

Seriously, nothing reminds you that you’re single like Valentine’s Day. And while we’ve been lucky enough to avoid the gross V-day for a couple of years thanks to lockdown – this year I’m afraid it’s unavoidable.

So what do you do when you know you’re going to be surrounded by smooching couples and roses that aren’t for you. You turn lemons into lemonade my friend!

You may not believe this, but I have honestly had the best Valentine’s Day as a singleton. I distinctly remember one year my two best friends and I were all single at the same time. So we decided to tackle it together and celebrate Galentine’s Day.

Who Does Best at Being Single? by B. DePaulo

Who Does Best at Being Single? by B. DePaulo

(Link): Who Does Best at Being Single?

Excerpts:

by Bella DePaulo

Living single can be such a vastly different experience for different people. At one end are the people who are distraught to be single and often invest heavily in becoming coupled.

At the other end are the “single at heart”—people for whom single life is their best life—their most authentic, meaningful, fulfilling, and psychologically rich life. The single at heart are not settling for being single—they are embracing it. In single life, they flourish.

[A study conducted by Girme and her colleagues was done on this topic]

Who Thrives When Single?

Girme and her colleagues mentioned many factors associated with happy and successful singlehood, including [I will not be copying the entire list below on this blog; you can view the entire list here]:

• • Embracing values such as freedom, creativity, and trying new things.
  • … Having good social support.
  • Having quality friendships.
  • Having a secure attachment style.
  • …Getting older. (Some research suggests that after about the age of 40, single people become happier and happier with their single lives. Starting at even younger ages, single people who are not pining for a romantic partner are especially likely to become happier and happier.)

Who Has a Harder Time With Single Life?

According to the researchers:

• • People who buy into ideologies that insist that being married or coupled is the normal, natural, and superior way to be.
  • People who believe in traditional norms about gender and parenting.
  • People who are afraid of being single.
  • People who really want to be romantically partnered.
  • People who are divorced.
  • People who don’t have much social support.
  • People who have an anxious attachment style.
  • … People who feel pressured to couple or marry by family members.
  • People who experience even more than the usual dose of singlism—the stereotyping, stigmatizing, and marginalization of single people, and the discrimination against them.

Female TikTok Users Ditch Dating Apps, Go Husband-Hunting at Home Depot

Female TikTok Users Ditch Dating Apps, Go Husband-Hunting at Home Depot

Well this is bizarre.

I don’t know how men feel about being flirted with when they’re out on tasks like shopping, but most women hate this. Most women don’t want men staring at them or flirting with them if they’re shopping or at a gym.

Considering that churches have gender imbalances that favor single men, if you’re a single Christian woman, you may have more luck meeting a single guy at a Home Dept – God knows you won’t meet many eligible single men at any churches. The men who do attend churches are pedophiles or perverts or abusers.

(Link): Hilarious social media challenge has women ditching dating apps to find love at Home Depot

(Link):  Female TikTok users say they’re deleting their dating apps and heading to Home Depot

Jan. 23, 2023
by Ben Tobin

…Could Home Depot be the destination to meet your future husband? If some TikTokers are to be believed, the retailer’s over 2,000 locations have become an unlikely spot to look for dates.

Of the many women on TikTok who say they’re “deleting the dating apps in 2023,” some say they’re looking for love in a surprise location. “I’m headed to Home Depot to look confused in the lumber aisle.”

The humorous trend has been building for almost two years.

“Ladies, no joke, Home Depot is where you go if you want to meet a man,” TikTok user meganlouise217 said in a video in March 2021.

(Link): How doers get more done: Female TikTok users ditch dating apps, go husband-hunting at Home Depot

January 24, 2023

A recent fad has some young, single women on TikTok using their phones for more than just swiping right on dating apps like Bumble and Tinder. Instead, these girls are heading to home improvement stores like Home Depot to find a husband — and using the camera on their phone to chronicle their experiences.

A Newly Published Survey Shows that Only Half of US Women Under 45 Have Children

A Newly Published Survey Shows that Only Half of US Women Under 45 Have Children

I am not anti-marriage or anti-Nuclear Family, but I also don’t support conservatives who marginalize or shame adult singles for being single (and/or for being childless) and who slavishly focus on things like the marriage or birth rate declining.

All my fellow conservatives will do when or if they see reports like the one below (about half of women not having children) is to write more propaganda pieces shaming women for being childless, when they should accept the situation for what it is and start asking themselves how can they, or society, support childless adult women better?

No amount of conservative shaming will cause women to suddenly run out and start having children.

As to the women who’d like to marry prior to having children – they don’t believe in or want to have children out of wedlock – conservatives have no solutions, including Christian ones.

Christians scream and yell at single Christian women to marry, but there are no single men for Christian women to marry, unless they are willing to marry Non-Christian men, and the Christians who cling to the “equally yoked” rule won’t tolerate that.

All these conservatives – Christians and otherwise – won’t lift a finger to actually help a single women who’d like to marry (and possibly have children) to marry.

If you’re a conservative who complains about single women being single (and/or childless), and yet, you’re not lifting a finger to actually help marriage-desiring single women to marry, you are part of the problem and have not earned a right to opine on these issues. So keep your nuclear-family- and pro-natalism- worshipping pie hole shut.

All those types of conservatives do is shame women for being single (and childless) and complain about women being single and childless…. shaming women for being single or childless won’t help women get married and / or have children, and complaining about a problem will not solve a problem.

Writing editorials extolling the supposed wonders of motherhood will not actually bring a husband into a woman’s life.

Help the single women get married first, then those women can have children (if they choose to have children).

Shaming, guilt tripping, pressuring, or lecturing women into marrying and/or having children does not work, and it may end up in some women making some very long lasting harmful decisions – and those pushing these women into marriage and motherhood won’t be there to pick up the pieces.

(Link):  US births continue to decline as nearly half of women under 45 are childless: study 

January 12, 2023

The number of births in the US has continued to decline — repeating a decades-long trend — as nearly half of American women under 45 are childless, according to a new study.

(Link): U.S. birth rates reach record lows – even though number of kids most people say they want remains steady 

(Link):  The modern family size is changing. Four charts show how.

Delayed parenthood and fewer kids: An analysis of new fertility data shows how the modern U.S. family has evolved over time.

January 12, 2023

By Aria Bendix and Joe Murphy
Families are smaller and people are waiting longer to have children than in years past, according to an NBC News analysis of data released this week by the National Center for Health Statistics.

The overall fertility rate in the U.S. declined from 2015 to 2020, additional NCHS data shows, reaching a low of fewer than 6 births per 100 women ages 15 to 44. (The rate then rose 1% from 2020 to 2021, though the overall trend still faces downward.)

The U.S. birth rate — the number of births per 1,000 women — declined from 2018 to 2019 among women in their 20s and early 30s but increased among women ages 35 to 44, the report showed.

Sociologists pointed to a few factors that may explain these trends. One is that contraception has become more reliable, while another is that people are getting married later in life, and most births in the U.S. still happen within marriage.

Dating Deal Breakers: Why You’re Being Rejected

Dating Deal Breakers: Why You’re Being Rejected

(Link): Why you were rejected: Body odor and being a ‘know-it-all’ top list of dating dealbreakers

Jan 10, 2023
by Chris Melore

LONDON — Rejection can sting, but the not-knowing why you were rejected can sting far longer. New research is shedding some light into the various reasons that people suddenly end relationships.

The strangest reasons people have called it off with a partner include them having dirty fingernails, being rude to a waiter, ugly tattoos, and being too clingy.

The poll of 2,000 British adults finds that over half (65%) have ended a relationship because of an “ick” — trait that turns them off — and 88 percent of them have ghosted someone completely.

For example, one in seven men (14%) would  happily break it off with someone who wanted to share food on a first date. Sixteen percent of women find wearing a tacky watch is an “ick,” while 15 percent judge someone else for referring to their favorite sports team as if they were part of the actual team.

It seems as if superstition may not be so welcomed by singles. Nearly one in six (15%) have called it quits with a romantic interest because they were obsessed with astrological star signs.

Tragedy as Man Dies Two Weeks After His Fiancee Was Killed in House Fire – Pending Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Health or Happiness

Tragedy as Man Dies Two Weeks After His Fiancee Was Killed in House Fire – Pending Marriage Doesn’t Guarantee Health or Happiness

Yet another news story that shatters the conservative narrative about marriage – that it will make you happy and healthy (and I say this as a conservative myself).

Both members of this couple (who were slated to get married weeks away) are now dead.

I’d rather be ‘single and alive’ than ‘planning to get married shortly yet dead from a fire.’

(I have other examples on my blog of people who died during their wedding, or shortly before or after.)

(Link): Tragedy as man dies in hospital on Boxing Day two weeks after his fiancée was killed in a fire that ripped through their home – as heartbroken family say ‘perfect couple’ are now ‘reunited forever’

Dec 28, 2022

A man has died following a deadly fire at a home in Cheshire just two weeks after it claimed the life of his fiancée, as their grieving families say they are ‘reunited forever’.

Kieran Naylor, 33, died on Boxing Day after spending two weeks in a critical condition in hospital after the fire in the early hours of December 12 at their home on Delph Lane, Daresbury.

Partner Rebecca Foster, 32, died from her injuries on December 13, leaving Mr Naylor fighting for his life at Whiston Hospital.

The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin – Why Women Are Still Single in Their 30s and Older

The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin

I’m a conservative, but I’ve been beyond fed up for years now at how so many other conservatives, as well as sexists of whatever variety, assume that the reason why most women are single past the age of 30 is because they chose career before marriage.

Along with that is the other annoying, very wrong, and sexist assumption by men online that all of us women who remain single past the age of 30 had lots and lots of “nice guys” who wanted to date us back in our 20s, but we coldly, cruelly turned them all down.

I don’t know what the hell those men are talking about, because I did not have lots and lots of men asking me out on dates when I was in my twenties.

But it’s simply not true that all women choose career over “marriage and family.”

Why aren’t men giving up careers to be stay at home fathers, taking care of children?

I never cared much one way or the other if I ever had children, but I had wanted to be married. And I’m not single because I “chose career over spouse.”

I have more observations about this essay below:

(Link): The Myth of the Career Woman by M. Notkin

The image of the single, childless “career woman” is drawn so sharply in our minds, so deeply ingrained in culture and overused in media, it obfuscates the real story. Contrary to popular belief, most working women are not putting their careers ahead of love, marriage and motherhood.

Never mind that there are no “career men” — no one accuses a single, childless man of prioritizing career over love and family just because he’s single and can pay the rent.

But women are made to wear this label — though I have yet to meet a woman who has declined a date with a guy she’s interested in because she’d rather be on a Zoom call.

While college-educated women are settling down and having children later than was once the case, the “career woman” is mostly a mid-century myth, an outlier like Mad Men’s Peggy Olson, who belongs to a time when women went to college to earn their “MRS” degree.

Florida Man Throws Christmas Tree at Wife After Being Asked to Help With Dinner

Florida Man Throws Christmas Tree at Wife After Being Asked to Help With Dinner

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Ho ho ho! 🎅 Does being married guarantee happiness, contentment, and inner peace? No it does not!

So if you’re single this holiday and bummed out about it, don’t be! You can enjoy your own company… which is preferable to having an idiot spouse throw a Christmas tree at you.

(Link): Florida man is arrested after hitting his wife with a CHRISTMAS TREE after she asked him to help her with dinner

Dec 15, 2022

A Florida man was arrested after bashing his wife with a Christmas tree after he became enraged when she asked him to help prepare dinner.

Richard Daniel Atchison, 52, was arrested on Monday around 7pm on felony charges including false imprisonment, violation of an injunction and domestic battery, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by DailyMail.com.

…The disturbing incident occurred when Atchison ‘lost his temper’ after the couple got into an argument inside their Fruitland Park home.

(Link): Florida Man Throws Christmas Tree at Wife After Being Asked to Help With Dinner

December 14, 2022
By Pilar Arias , Fox News

A Florida man allegedly threw a Christmas tree at his wife during an argument that was sparked when she asked him to help make dinner, authorities said.

Richard Atchison, 52, “lost his temper” in the couple’s Fruitland Park home Monday evening after his wife asked for help and put a spoon in the sink, accidentally splashing him with water, according to an arrest affidavit obtained by FOX 35 Orlando.