Book Review: The Struggle to Stay: Why Single Evangelical Women Are Leaving the Church – Review of Gaddini Book by E. Feyas

Book Review: The Struggle to Stay: Why Single Evangelical Women Are Leaving the Church – Review of Gaddini Book by E. Feyas

This author says she “left the faith” in a podcast interview she gave (that podcast is on You Tube – it is linked to and embedded further below).

The author, when asked by the atheist interviewer, which Christians are giving, in her opinion, good sexual advice to Christians today, she unfortunately cites perverted Christian personality Nadia Bolz Weber, who you can read about here.  Nadia Bolz Weber would be the last person I’d go to for sex advice if I wanted sex advice.

Not that most conservative Christians are any better on some sexual topics, but, two wrongs don’t make a right. Many conservatives and many liberals and progressives are wrong about many a thing.

The author explains in the book and the podcast that single, Christian women are leaving the church “faster than ever before.” Some are leaving the faith for agnosticism or atheism, while others remain Christian but stop attending church.

This book was released a year or more ago, and I already made at least one blog post about it around a year ago (that other post is linked to below, under “Related Posts”)

(Link): Book Review: The Struggle to Stay: Why Single Evangelical Women Are Leaving the Church

Feb. 2024
by Emma Feyas

Combining deep ethnographic research with personal experience and cultural realities, Katie Gaddini tells relatable stories and asks difficult questions. Her research seeks to understand not merely why single women might leave the evangelical church, but what exactly makes them stay.

Walking alongside four women—Carys, Jo, Maddie, and Liv—who move from deep commitment and service to evangelical congregations to “Christian-ish,” Gaddini’s narration provides an empathetic window into the reality of evangelical women, especially single evangelical feminist women.

Gaddini’s objective to “expose the costs of being an evangelical woman” is successful in three distinct ways. …

In between the narratives of each of the women in the study, Gaddini explains evangelical norms and cultures for readers who may be unfamiliar. White, mid-upper-class evangelicalism provides the boundaries for the study.

Married Father, SBC Pastor, Who Wrote Complementarian Marital Advice Books With His Wife Fired After Flirting With, Texting, Other Men and Underaged Boys

Married Father, SBC Pastor, Who Wrote Complementarian Marital Advice Books With His Wife Fired After Flirting With, Texting, Other Men and Underaged Boys

Southern Baptists, and other conservative, Christian groups adhere to something called “gender complementarianism,” which is essentially a very unbiblical, toxic, sexist world view and interpretation of the Bible.

I was raised Southern Baptist and considered myself one until my late 30s or so, I guess (I cannot pin point an exact date or age when I decided the SB is not for me).

Southern Baptists who buy into comp (gender complementarianism) frequently teach women that divorce is forbidden, that they must unilaterally submit to their husband (even if the husband is physically, emotionally, verbally, financially, or sexually abusive). They also issue shoddy dating and “how to get married” advice to Christian singles.

So, this news headline showed up recently about a Southern Baptist pastor and elder who, his employer, a Southern Baptist church, says, has a pattern of being a sexual predator. This married guy – and he’s married to a woman – was texting other men, and at least one minor male.

Complementarians always promote their version of marriage (where the man gets all the authority in the relationship, and the wife is supposed to “joyfully submit,” even if her husband is abusive) is the best, most godly, productive, happiest version of marriage – but then they are quick to brush aside any and all examples that disprove this claim and this marketing tactic.

I have an example on this blog from a few years ago about a man who wrote marital advice books who murdered his wife (he shot her in the head), and a man who worked as a marriage counselor or some such job who murdered his lady fiancee. I also posted news stories about the woman who wrote romance novels who murdered her husband.

I find it so ironic and disturbing that people who write books or lecture other people about how to have healthy, safe marriages end up being pedophiles, rapists, or they murder their partners.

If your church, gender doctrine, or lifestyle includes instances that undermine what you’re espousing, maybe it’s time you re-evaluate your views, your life, how you think life, marriage, or dating is meant to be handled, and stop peddling those views. Have more humility.

I myself rejected gender complementarianism over 15 years ago – it’s flaming, hot, sexist garbage that is un-biblical and does not work.

You’ll notice that being married and a parent did not make the man in this news story more mature, ethical, responsible, or godly.

God did not with-hold a spouse from this guy, so obviously, God doesn’t have some kind of rule in place saying a person has to achieve some level of godliness or whatever other quality before He will allow them to marry or send them a spouse.

Anyway – complementarians need to realize that complementarian interpretations of the Bible are false, and they need to realize they’ve been giving wrong, stupid advice to not only married people about marriage for years, but also that they’ve been giving stupid, wrong advice to single people about how to get married and how to date.

(Link):  Famous self-help podcaster and author is ‘devastated’ after her Texas church pastor husband was exposed as ‘predator’ who ‘sexually exploited three MEN and teenage boy’

A self-help podcaster has shared her devastation after her pastor husband was fired over claims sexually exploited three men and a teenage boy.

…On February 11, elders at the prominent Austin church revealed that they had fired Ivey due to ‘inappropriate and explicit ongoing text messages with an adult male.’

… Elders from The Austin Stone explained in a message posted on Sunday that they had fired Aaron Ivey over a series of ‘abhorrent instances,’ revealing that the most recent shocking revelation was not an isolated incident.

(Link): Aaron Ivey, Pastor and Husband of Podcaster Jamie Ivey, Accused of ‘Indecent’ Texts with Men

Excerpts:

by Roxanne Stone
Feb 12, 2024

The Austin Stone Church, a multicampus evangelical church in Austin, Texas, announced on Sunday that it had dismissed its head worship pastor after discovering he had engaged in “inappropriate and explicit ongoing text messages with an adult male,” according to a statement from the church’s elders.

…After firing Ivey, the elders said, they then discovered that Ivey, the husband of bestselling author and popular podcaster Jamie Ivey, had a history of texting with men, including one who had been underage at the time of the explicit texts, according to the statement.

“Since then, we have uncovered multiple similar instances with different individuals dating back to 2011 that show a very clear pattern of predatory manipulation, sexual exploitation, and abuse of influence,” the statement said.

The elders detailed a timeline of texts they had discovered, alleging that they began in 2011 with the exchanges with a minor, which they said they had reported to the “appropriate authorities.”

(Link): Texas SBC Pastor Aaron Ivey Fired for ‘Clear Pattern of Predatory Manipulation’

Excerpts:

February 12, 2024
By Stephanie Martin

On Sunday, Feb. 11, elders at The Austin Stone Church in Austin, Texas, revealed that they had fired Aaron Ivey, a pastor and elder, due to “inappropriate and explicit ongoing text messages with an adult male.” Ivey, 45, had been pastor of worship and creativity at the church, which has six locations in central Texas. The Austin Stone Church is affiliated with the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC).

According to a statement from church elders, they learned of the “disqualifying situation” on Feb. 4 and, after reviewing the text messages, terminated “Aaron’s eldership and employment” the next day.

(Link): Aaron Ivey, pastor and husband of podcaster Jamie Ivey, accused of ‘indecent’ texts with men

Elders at his Austin, Texas, church said in a statement announcing his dismissal that they had discovered a ‘very clear pattern of predatory manipulation, sexual exploitation, and abuse of influence’ by Ivey.

Feb 11, 2024

(RNS) — The Austin Stone Church, a multicampus evangelical church in Austin, Texas, announced on Sunday (Feb. 11) that it had dismissed its head worship pastor after discovering he had engaged in “inappropriate and explicit ongoing text messages with an adult male,” according to a statement from the church’s elders.

The Cruelty of Natalism – “A student asked if infertility is nature’s way of saying we have no value” – by A. Maier (Re: CNBC: Childless Not by Choice)

The Cruelty of Natalism – “A student asked if infertility is nature’s way of saying we have no value” – by A. Maier

As for me personally, I didn’t care strongly if I ever had children or not; I was only willing to have children if I could have them by the age of 35. Even if I had married by age 36, I was not willing to have children at that point – so I don’t fit neatly into any one group, not Childfree, not the CNBC. I don’t think I’m infertile.

Where this author asks everyone to check their “natalistic” impulses – such as, don’t make every conversation about babies and children, don’t assume everyone you meet has or wants to have children – I’d say the same rule should apply to marriage vs. singleness, especially in conservative and Christian contexts and venues.

Are you a Christian preacher who always or often uses  marriage and married couples as examples in your sermons (if so, stop doing that)?
Are you assuming everyone in your congregation wants to be married (because some of them do not want to be – some single adults are happy being single and have no intention of marrying)?
Are you assuming everyone who is single is single because they hate marriage, men, or place career above seeking marriage (not true; plenty of single Christian women want to be married but are unable to find a suitable partner because churches lack men their age and “Christian” men on dating apps are jerks or perverts)?

Stop being so marriage-centric, because doing so alienates single adults, turns them off, and they may stop coming to church.
Some single adults may find marriage-centric behavior and sermons (from pastors, church people, friends and family) rude, hurtful, and off putting. So knock it off.

(Link): The Cruelty of Natalism – “A student asked if infertility is nature’s way of saying we have no value.”

Excerpts:

KEY POINTS

• • People without children may struggle to survive in a natalist world.
  • Natalism can render individuals without children invisible.
  • Natalism holds no space for those without children.

Ashley Maier, MSW, MPA
June 19, 2023

I am childless not by choice. That’s not easy in a natalist world.

Never heard of either of those terms? Well, you have now.

Childless Not by Choice
The growing childless not by choice (CNBC) community is probably the largest group you’ve never heard of. Just go to Instagram, search any version of that label or acronym, and there we are.

CNBC means just what it says: It describes individuals who don’t have children and that wasn’t their choice. It doesn’t mean that everyone who is CNBC has experienced infertility, but a lot have. It doesn’t mean that everyone who is CNBC has undergone fertility treatments, but a lot have.

Natalism
Whether by choice or not by choice, not having children in a natalist society is nearly impossible to navigate. There just isn’t room for us.

Natalism is, essentially, the promotion of childbearing. It’s when having children is the norm. Don’t have kids? You’re not normal. Welcome to life in the U.S. and most other countries.

Lawsuit Accuses SBC Executive Committee of ‘Maliciously and Systematically’ Covering Up Abuse, Seeks $10 Million

Lawsuit Accuses SBC Executive Committee of ‘Maliciously and Systematically’ Covering Up Abuse, Seeks $10 Million

Wow.

The SBC is big time into pushing the anti-biblical stance called “gender complementarianism,” where they falsely teach and/or behave like only women who are married mothers matter,
falsely teach that women are to submit to men, wives are to unilaterally submit to husbands, women cannot divorce an abusive husband,
women cannot teach or preach or lead men, and some go so far as to continue to teach the unbiblical position that all women are irrational, too emotional, and easily deceived.

(Link): Lawsuit Accuses SBC Executive Committee of ‘Maliciously and Systematically’ Covering Up Abuse, Seeks $10 Million

February 6, 2024
by Liz Lykins

A federal lawsuit brought by alleged abuse victims accuses the Executive Committee of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBCEC) of “maliciously and systematically” covering up sexual abuse and seeks $10 million in damages.

The suit, filed in a U.S. District Court in Tennessee, also calls out several prominent pastors for being a part of alleged cover-ups. These include Steve Gaines, pastor of the megachurch Bellevue Baptist Church in Cordova, Tennessee, and former president of the Southern Baptist Convention (SBC).

Named as defendants in the 20-page suit are the SBCEC and four SBC churches where plaintiffs claim they were sexually abused as minors.

…The abuse cited includes fondling, masturbation, and in some cases penetration. This caused harm to the plaintiffs, ranging from depression and anxiety to post-traumatic stress and the inability to maintain gainful employment and relationships, the suit says. 

Oklahoma Proposal Would Make Watching Porn a Felony, Ban Sexting Outside of Marriage

Oklahoma Proposal Would Make Watching Porn a Felony, Ban Sexting Outside of Marriage

I don’t support porn or fornication – but this seems a little excessive, like something one would find about Islamic nations that go by Sharia law.

(Link): Oklahoma proposal would make watching porn a felony, ban sexting outside marriage

By Jesse O’Neill
Published Jan. 23, 2024

An Oklahoma state senator has proposed a law that would make watching pornography a felony and ban sexting among people who are not married.

The bill, set to be introduced next month by state Sen. Dusty Deevers (R-Elgin), would prohibit consuming or producing sexual content that “lacks serious literary, artistic, educational, political, or scientific purposes or value” in any medium.

The measure defines “obscene material” as the depiction or description of any “acts of sexual intercourse,” including those that are “normal or perverted, actual or simulated.”

Southern Baptists Say Denomination Faces DOJ (Department of Justice) Investigation

Southern Baptists Say Denomination Faces DOJ (Department of Justice) Investigation

(Link): Southern Baptists Convention says denomination faces DOJ investigation

(Link):  Justice Department Investigates Southern Baptist Convention Over Abuse

SBC has commited to cooperating with the federal investigation, which spans multiple entities.

by Kate Shellnut
August 12, 2022

federal investigation will look into the largest Protestant denomination’s response to abuse, following a bombshell report commissioned and released by the Southern Baptist Commission (SBC) in May.

… The general counsel for the Executive Committee (EC)—which oversees day-to-day business for the convention and was the subject of the SBC’s own abuse investigation—said the EC has received a subpoena, but no individuals have been subpoenaed at this point.

(Link): Southern Baptists say denomination faces DOJ investigation

by Holly Meyer
August 12, 2022

 Leaders of the Southern Baptist Convention said Friday that several of the denomination’s major entities are under investigation by the U.S. Department of Justice in the wake of its multiple problems related to clergy sex abuse.

The SBC’s Executive Committee has received a subpoena, but no individuals have been subpoenaed at this point, according to the committee’s lawyers.

“Financial Infidelity” Is When A Person Hides or Withholds Money-Related Issues and Decisions from Their Partner

“Financial Infidelity” Is When A Person Hides or Withholds Money-Related Issues and Decisions from Their Partner

Abuse comes in different types, not just in the physical form – abuse can be emotional, verbal, relational, sexual, or financial.

(Link): “Financial infidelity” is when a person hides or withholds money-related issues and decisions from their partner.

While many discuss sexual infidelity as a serious breach of trust, money-related cheating can sink relationships too.

by Arman Khan.
April 18, 2022

Vinod, a 38-year-old writer, believes that for some, love is a luxury and the price you’ve to pay for it could often be crushing. He said he learnt this the hard way when, nearly a decade before gay sex was decriminalised in India, his first boyfriend cheated him off money just because Vinod could not easily break off their relationship for the fear of crushing loneliness.

“He didn’t earn much and used to borrow money from me, which at first I thought was OK,” Vinod told VICE. “At first, he would tell me that he needed the money for commuting, food, buying clothes, paying bills, etc. But with time,  it became a habit for him to borrow without even batting an eyelid. I think somewhere down the line I got him used to it as well, which I shouldn’t have.”

Vinod would keep a note of how much money he was lending but when he started noticing how his boyfriend’s wallet would never emerge from his pocket, he started asking him where the money he lent him actually went.

The Obnoxious Abuse Survivor Community Is Targeting Julie Roys Again – this time begun by R L Stollar

The Obnoxious Abuse Survivor Community Is Targeting Julie Roys Again – this time the witch hunt was begun by R L Stollar

The “abuse survivor community” has taken their pitchforks out again, and again their pitchforks and torches are for journalist Julie Roys.

This time, the bullying is being carried out by a R L Stollar, a name I’ve seen on twitter off and on in the last few years.

I believe he originally began speaking out against harms caused by Christian homeschooling? Good on him for that (I mean that, that was not snark).

Beyond that, though, I’m not familiar with Stollar. He may have even tweeted a few things in the past I saw shared by others I follow on Twitter that I agreed with.

To Julie Anne (“Defend the Sheep” on twitter) – why are you  participating in this continued pile on?

(Edit: I believe Julie Anne “Liked” some of the comments in that thread, or I saw her share it on her Twitter account, which is how I became aware of it in the first place)

Why are you, Julie Anne, continuing to associate with people who behave this way?
I’m sorry if you feel that Roys did not credit you or friends of yours or whatever on older reportage she did (which she tried to discuss with you), but what is the deal with cozying up to the people singling her out every few weeks?

Anyway. Roys is being bullied online again, and this time it was started by Stollar.

Yes, I said “again” – see (Link): my previous post about this weird, disturbing anti-Roys obsession from the Amy Smiths, Ashley Easters, and other so-called abuse survivor advocates.

If you take note of this obnoxious behavior, as I did, (that is, noting their bullying and mob mentality where they target someone), some of them will erroneously misconstrue you as being a “Julie Roys Stan,” or use that as an ad hominem against you (see embedded tweets below for more on that).

Birth Control Movie

Now, the “abuse survivor community” is targeting Roys for having once appeared in a several years old (conservative created, I believe) movie about birth control and the sexual revolution.

I’ve not seen the movie they are referring to, but I did watch and listen to a clip of Roys presumably from the film (that clip located in a tweet by someone else here), and the comments Roys made were pretty conventional.

There was  nothing “far out” there by Roys in that clip, not unless, I suppose, you’re operating from a faulty, far left liberal paradigm, in which case pointing out that sexual behaviors with little- to- no boundaries can result in things like disease or other harmful ramifications will sound judgmental, fuddy duddy, and stodgy.

Speaking of which:

(Link): Monkeypox virus could become entrenched as new STD in the US – via ABC News (warning: auto-playing video file with audio on that page)

Excerpts:

The spread of monkeypox in the U.S. could represent the dawn of a new sexually transmitted disease, though some health officials say the virus that causes pimple-like bumps might yet be contained before it gets firmly established

By Mike Stobbe AP Medical Writer
July 22, 2022

… So far, more than 2,800 U.S. cases have been reported as part of an international outbreak that emerged two months ago. About 99% have been men who reported having sex with other men, health officials say.
— end excerpts —

Secular Criticisms of Birth Control and the Sexual Revolution

In the past year, a few secular books criticizing the consequences of the sexual revolution (including the role of the advent of birth control pills) have been published
(which I’ve blogged about here (Where the Sexual Revolution Went Wrong by Maria Albano) and here (The Sexual Revolution Has Backfired on Women by S. Moore),
so it’s not only those evangelicals all you hipster “Exvangelicals” despise pointing out the flaws and dangers with no-holds-barred sexual behavior.

In the past few years, more and more liberals and feminists have been speaking out about the excesses and harms of loose sexual behavior; these are just a couple of examples on my blog:

(Link): Why Sex-Positive Feminism is Falling Out of Fashion by S. Greenberg – excerpts via New York Times

(Link): Did Hell Freeze Over?: Liberal Rag Promotes Idea that Celibacy is Acceptable, and a Valid Life Choice / Re: 2016 Study Says Millennials Aren’t Having Much Sex

Progressives / Abuse Advocates Define Christianity to = Democrat Party, Progressive Values and Views

Many of the abuse advocates under consideration in this blog post I am discussing are politically driven (or some have left-leaning sympathies).

They conflate Christianity with leftism, progressive views, causes, and the Democratic Party, and reject anyone who doesn’t agree with all their socio-political views.

Here is my reaction to what got the ball rolling (tweet link – my comment – and here is a link to the original R L Stollar comment I was replying to):

Another witch hunt against Julie Roys by loving, tolerant progressive Christians 🙄
Is Amy Smith in on this one too, or did she put down her pitchfork this time?

You guys still using the goofy #EmptyThePews and #Exvangelical hash tags?#abuseSurvivorCommunity https://t.co/CY3wRfFQc7

— sololoner (@sololoner2) July 23, 2022

Link to Tweet embedded below.

As I told this guy, I'm not a "Julie Roys stan," but most abuse survivor advocates I've seen are more loyal to a leftist political agenda than in actually helping victims. It's gross.
They've been targeting Roys for a couple of months now. That's also gross.#ChurchToo #JulieRoys https://t.co/fciN2nsYJT

— sololoner (@sololoner2) July 23, 2022

So this Stollar guy initially did a tweet with a link to this page (also linked to below, with excerpt) at Right Wing Watch – of course he did.

Does Stollar ever follow sites with names like “Left Wing Watch” (i.e., any accounts that are critical of progressive ideology?) – probably not.

When Narcissists Fake Being Sick to Manipulate You – Re: Boundaries, etc

When Narcissists Fake Being Sick to Manipulate You – Re: Boundaries, etc

I just blogged about this very topic just yesterday, June 25 (today is June 26) when I saw this video on You Tube today! Talk about coincidental timing!

So this psychologist, Dr. Ramani, made this 11.54 video (I’ll embed it below, you can also watch it on You Tube here) who discusses a letter by a woman married to a guy who uses (fake) illness as an excuse to leave social functions early.

The woman said her husband has a habit of faking sickness to get out of social obligations or to depart them early.

Well, the woman’s kid sister was turning 18, the family was throwing a birthday party / dinner for the young lady, and this married woman had her husband go with her.

The husband said he didn’t want to go, but the wife wouldn’t take No for an answer on this one – the husband never wanted to go to parties, and she seemed to feel like the husband would or could make an exception for this, since it was for her kid sister.

So they go to the party, the husband vomits on purpose while at the party but makes it look as though he’s sick – all so he can leave the party early and force his wife to go with him.

The psychologist who is discussing this story (she’s reading from a letter the woman wrote asking for advice) points out that so many people are quick to tell people like the woman who wrote this letter “to have boundaries,” which the woman tried on her (probably narcissistic) husband, but he didn’t heed her boundaries and instead actually doubled down on his obnoxious behavior.

I’ve seen several of Dr. Ramani’s videos before, she’s quite good, and I like her, but I always cringe a little when I hear mental health professionals who specialize in narcissism (as she does) sort of denigrate the concept of having boundaries, which she sort of does in the video embedded below.

Boundaries Usually Work And Are A Good Thing To Have

I spent 35 or so years (Link): as a severe codependent.

I believe boundaries are very important and can be life-saving and can improve one’s mental health.

Boundaries may not work in all situations or with all people, true enough, but by and large, boundaries DO work with most people and most situations and can save your self esteem, energy, mental health, and possibly your bank account in the long run.

Guidepost Solutions’ LGBT Pride Tweet Sparks Uproar in SBC

Guidepost Solutions’ LGBT Pride Tweet Sparks Uproar in SBC 

Well, LOL! So much for “experts,” I guess.

An abuse survivor who is quick to go on witch hunts against supposed abusers (calling himself or herself “BAaccountablity” on Twitter) screamed at me a few weeks ago that I have to believe anything and everything that “GRACE” (an organization which studies how Christian groups handle abuse) says, does, or believes, nor can I question any view or practice of “GRACE” because they are “experts” at abuse
(and apparently they’re also experts at Codependency, according to “BAaccountability,” though when I visited the GRACE site a few weeks ago, I saw nothing about the topic of Codependency at their site using their search feature.
Time, energy, and interest permitting, I will be making more blog posts about that topic and more in the future.)

I’m sure that the people at GRACE are not complete morons nor totally inept concerning the topic of abuse (I am assuming).

However…
Just because a group or person are considered “experts” in their field does not mean they are infallible or lacking a bad or misplaced agenda.

They may be somewhat competent at commenting on abuse, but those who are employed there (at GRACE – or at Guidepost Solutions, for that matter) are still capable of making mistakes, like any other group or person.

That a group or person may be considered an “expert” on a topic (and given that even experts can and do make mistakes) does not mean that I must un-questioningly or un-critically agree with any and all opinions of all their contributors, or that they necessarily know everything about abuse, abusive dynamics, Codependency, or understand Codependency correctly. (More on that in a possible future post or two.)

Here lately, these “experts” at Guidepost Solutions tweeted a “pride month” type comment with a rainbow flag.

I’ve nothing against homosexual people (at least not the ones who are not far left authoritarians), but if a group or organization is virtue signaling during pride month by slapping rainbows in their tweets, it tells me, it hints, that they just may be leftist, progressive, and “woke,” which makes them a little suspect in my eyes.

If you’re someone who is serious about fighting abuse in churches and getting churches to be more transparent in how they handle abuse, my advice to you is to drop any and all “woke” commentary, symbols, and language from your site or social media, because most of the churches you’re at odds with are conservative, and conservatives are not “pro-woke.”

I am a conservative, and I can tell you right now most conservatives will tune you out the moment they see “intersectional,” woke type language, view points, or imagery from you in person, in e-mails, texts, or on your social media.

You either need to make your “save and help victims!” a priority, or you make your leftist politics a priority here – you cannot have both if your goal is to honestly get conservative churches to fix how they usually mishandle abuse cases in their midst.

The far left is trying to erode boundaries around sexuality – they are trying to normalize pedophilia (links to more content about this issue below).

That is part and parcel of the LGBTQ movement (that is what the rainbow flag has now come to symbolize); the LGBTQ movement is not about getting Christians or mainstream Americans to merely “tolerate” the idea that two men want to kiss or marry each other.

It’s moved way beyond that, if you have been paying attention the last few years.

I agree that most churches don’t properly or sensitively deal with abuse (whether rape of women, molestation of children, or wife abuse), but the way to tackle it is not via “woke” organizations that are inadvertently platforming pedophilia.

There are more comments by me below the following two links with excerpts:

(Link): Guidepost Solutions’ LGBT pride tweet sparks uproar in SBC

June 10, 2022
by Leonardo Blair

Guidepost Solutions, the investigative firm that recently produced a report on how the Southern Baptist Convention’s leadership mishandled sexual abuse allegations, is coming under fire from high-profile leaders in the denomination over a tweet supporting LGBT pride.

“Guidepost is committed to strengthening diversity, equity and inclusion and strives to be an organization where our team can bring their authentic selves to work,” the firm declared in a tweet Monday. “We celebrate our collective progress toward equality for all and are proud to be an ally to our LGBTQ+ community.”

As the secular firm’s tweet made the rounds on social media, Randy C. Davis, president and executive director of the Tennessee Baptist Mission Board, denounced the company’s statement and urged SBC entities receiving funding from the denomination’s Cooperative Program to “immediately break ties with Guidepost Solutions.”

Report on Southern Baptist Churches: the SBC Covered Up Cases of Abuse and Mistreated Abuse Victims for Years

Report on Southern Baptist Churches: the SBC Covered Up Cases of Abuse and Mistreated Abuse Victims for Years

This report about sex abuse cover up by the Southern Baptists was actually released around May of 2022, but I’m not blogging about it until now.

I was brought up in the Southern Baptist Church. My parents took me to different SB churches when I was a kid – we moved often.

I think I kind of stopped considering myself as being a Southern Baptist a few years ago, long before the abuse blow-ups and other scandals started to be revealed more and more a few years ago.

Southern Baptists used a secular group called Guidepost Solutions to investigate how the SBC has dealt with abuse, and lately, (Link):  some Baptists are very unhappy with Guidepost Solutions.

I’m sorry for all the people who were abused in the church or by church staff and that the SBC covered it up.

On another level, as I grow older and periodically reflect back on my life, this is another one of those regrets.

I wasted so many years on things, like belief in the Christian faith, being a Southern Baptist, and believing in Southern Baptist, evangelical precepts.

I was told when I was a kid and older – by my Baptist parents, in Sunday morning sermons, or in Sunday school classes, and in books by Christian authors my Mom brought home back then – that if I just trusted in God, lived a clean life, had faith in God, that God would protect and provide – but that turned out not to be true.

I was told by Southern Baptists (and other types of Christians) that if I stayed sexually abstinent, went to church, lived a clean life (as defined by Baptists), etc, not to worry about finding a spouse by my own efforts, that God would provide .

I was also told by Christians on TV, Christians at church, in Christian books, etc not to date outside the faith (the “equally yoked” rule). I was assured if I was a good Christian girl that God would bless me with a Christian “Mr. Right,” which turned out to also be a bunch of garbage.

What a waste of time it was for me to be a Christian for all those years!

My parents taught me, that as I was a single woman, that Southern Baptist Churches would be a preferable place to meet single men as opposed to night clubs or bars.

As I’ve been saying for years now, considering all the Christian perverts found in churches, I don’t see how churches are any safer to use as a place to meet potential dates than your average bar or dating site.

Looks like a bunch of sexist, abusive men love to attend Southern Baptist churches. If not all the Southern Baptist men are abusing women, the other ones are busy denying it’s taking place or making excuses for the men who are abusive.

This means that Southern Baptist churches are not a good or safe place for single women to meet men (then there’s the gender imbalance problem, with more women than men in attendance).

I don’t necessarily regret in its entirety living a clean life, though, because that kept me from dabbling in drugs, alcohol, sleeping around and getting diseases and so on.

But the rest of the Christian faith, as it was taught to me, and as I lived it, was not effective in many areas. And quite a bit of what was taught to me was in a Southern Baptist context.

(Link): Report: Top Southern Baptists Stonewalled Sex Abuse Victims

May 23, 2022

Leaders of the Southern Baptist Convention, America’s largest Protestant denomination, stonewalled and denigrated survivors of clergy sex abuse over almost two decades while seeking to protect their own reputations, according to a scathing 288-page investigative report issued Sunday.

(Link): Southern Baptist leaders mistreated abuse survivors for decades, report says

Excerpts:

A blockbuster report found that SBC lawyers worked for years to protect the institution and demonized abuse survivors and accused a prominent pastor of abusing a colleague’s wife.

May 22, 2022

(RNS) — For decades, a handful of leaders in the nation’s largest Protestant denomination treated sexual abuse survivors as enemies of the church, denied responsibility for the actions of local churches and downplayed the number of sexual abuse cases in those churches, all in the name of protecting the institution, according to a report released Sunday (May 22).

The report, conducted by a third-party investigations firm, Guidepost Solutions, and made public by the Southern Baptist Convention’s sex abuse task force, reveals a callous disregard for abuse survivors and a relentless commitment to protecting the denomination from liability.

Guidepost Solutions found that SBC leaders were well aware of abuse cases in the church and even compiled a list of offenders but took no steps to find out if alleged abusers remained in ministry, instead focusing on protecting the SBC from liability.

(Link): SBC Leaders to Release Secret List of Pastors, Church Leaders Accused of Sex Abuse

(Link): SBC leaders ‘grieved’ over report finding sexual abuse claims ignored for years to avoid liability

Excerpts:

by Leonardo Blair
May 23, 2022

Leaders of the Southern Baptist Convention have said they are “grieved” after an independent investigation found the denomination’s leadership mishandled sexual abuse allegations, mistreated victims and advocates, engaged in an abusive pattern of intimidation and repeatedly resisted reforms aimed at making their churches safer largely to avoid liability.

The report from Guidepost Solutions was promised to be delivered ahead of the denomination’s annual meeting set for Anaheim, California, in June. Released on Sunday, the report alleges that for the last 20 years, the SBC sought to protect the interests of the denomination above alleged sexual abuse victims even as they fielded credible claims of abuse.

These claims include one made against former SBC President Johnny Hunt, who was accused of sexually assaulting another pastor’s wife while on a beach vacation in Panama City, Florida.

Christian Gender Complementarians and Far Left Woke Progressives and Transactivists – What They Have in Common

Christian Gender Complementarians and Far Left Woke Progressives and Transactivists – What They Have in Common

There are a few things Christian gender complementarians have in common with the following: the woke; progressives; social justice warriors; anti-Trumpers; exvangelicals (ex evangelicals); transactivists; critical theory advocates; BLM; Antifa, and anti-racists.

I don’t want to get into all the similarities I see among these seemingly- at- first- glance- totally- in- opposition groups, but one or two I did want to mention for now:

Both the Christian complementarians and the Progressives participate in “identity politics.” You’re not allowed to be an individual.

Complementarians divide people into the groups of “men” and “women,” and then ascribe gender stereotypes to both groups. They believe that all women are, or should be, passive, non-confrontational, and docile and enjoy crocheting tea cozies, for example.

If you’re a woman who is not passive, docile, or who does not enjoy knitting tea cozies and has no desire to do so, they either ignore you, or other types of complementarians may insult you or question your fealty to Jesus, the Bible, and the nuclear family.

The progressives, of course, put everybody into groups and then in sub-groups; the progressives will not only divide people up by biological sex, for instance, but if you are a “person of color” AND a woman, you’re now in a sub-group.

The progressives will then try to determine, via “intersectionality,” which group or sub-group is the “most” oppressed, and which ever group is deemed most victimized gets all the cookies (devotion, protection, attention, energy).

Members of these groups, who are declared to be most marginalized, are given carte blanche permission by woke liberals to treat other groups terribly, and to stomp all over other groups’ needs, rights, and concerns (one example of this on my blog).

Women Are Not Allowed to Have Their Own Opinions On Either Side, Christian Complementarian OR Progressive

Christian gender complementarians and woke, far left liberals (including transactivists, BLM supporters, and even a lot of progressive Exvangelical, anti-Trump persons, and some abuse survivor advocates) all have the distasteful, unfortunate habit of pressuring women to think a certain way.

All those groups also tend to guilt trip women or shame them when they won’t cave in to the pressure, and they also advise – more like command and dictate! – women to “let this group do your thinking for you. You are not allowed to question the group or its assumptions or opinions. You are not allowed to have or hold a dissenting view from that of the group.”

Women Who Disagree With Christian Gender Complementarianism

If you’re a woman who doesn’t agree with Christian gender complementarianism (or Christian patriarchy, which is essentially the same thing as complementarianism, but usually more severe),
complementarian men (and some of the women) in those belief sets will accuse you of being a liberal, a feminist, and/or a Democrat and will sometimes also accuse you of hating babies, men, meritocracy, due process, or the nuclear family.

The more crude, overtly sexist ones will also suggest on occasion you are “trying to be like a man,” you are “too old, past your expiration date,” you own 47 pet cats, and you never shave your legs.

Women Who Disagree With Progressives or Any Progressive View or Behavior

If you’re a woman who doesn’t agree with progressives on, well, any of their socio-political views (CRT, pro-choice, BLM, transactivism, etc), they will accuse you of being bigoted, racist, homophobic, transphobic, and/or of possessing “Internalized Misogyny,” and they’re rarely civil in how they express those views.
(This is, laughably and remarkably, after they stress repeatedly, especially in their online communities, how, unlike Trump voters and evangelical Christians, how tolerant and loving they are.)