Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

This editorial by Kandiah makes many of the same points I have been making on this blog the last several years.

Church is not just about spreading the Gospel (as so many Christians incorrectly assume), but God designed the church to also serve as a community, another family, where widowed, single, and divorced adults could get their needs for companionship met.

But most churches today do not want to engage in that role; all the church-goers want to go home to their homes in the suburbs with their biological families and just hang out with their families.

Many church-going Christians don’t care to invite over the divorcee’ or the widower or the never married woman and include any of those people in their lives.

(Link): Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah

Excerpts:

The Bible refers to fellow Christians as “brothers and sisters,” but how often do we treat them as family?

More Than an Event
I have met many pastors and church members who can tell similar stories. As I visit many churches that are embracing people in desperate need of family, my eyes are continually being opened not only to what family truly can be but to what church as family truly can be.

This shift in perception of what church is, and what church is for, has huge implications, not just for our own personal spiritual development but for our understanding of mission, evangelism, worship, justice, hospitality, and discipleship.

Continue reading “Church Is a Family, Not an Event by K. Kandiah”

‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’

I’m not exactly anti-marriage or anti-family, but.

However. I am tired of how other conservatives or how 99% of Christians “hype” marriage, children, and “the family” to the point they act as though everyone should get married and have a kid, and if you do not, they suggest or state point blank, that you have failed culture and society, and you’re a big Loser. Christians especially behave as though getting married and having a kid is a commandment from God (it is not).

Being married and being a mother did not bring happiness to this lady.

And notice how this lady says that she and her husband didn’t have sex for a year.

I bring that up, because one teaching I heard or saw a lot in Christian sermons or books when I was a kid growing up is that if one remains a virgin until marriage, that God will reward you and your spouse with regular, “mind blowing” sex. The reality is, a person can remain chaste but then end up having lousy sex in marriage, or none at all.

(Link): BABY BLUES – We rowed [argued] and hadn’t had sex for a year due to the strain of starting a family… I almost drove my car off a bridge

January 2019

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter’s life

By Hayley Richardson

HAVING a baby can feel like the icing on the cake for some couples but for others the strain of starting a family can push them to breaking point.

Aimee and Davin Bradley, both 35, were at each other’s throats for the first three years of their daughter Autumn’s life and didn’t have sex for a year.

Continue reading “‘I Almost Drove My Car Off A Bridge Because Of The Strain of Having a Family’”

Woman, Age 86, Beats Her 89 Year Old Husband To Death With A Cane

Woman, Age 86, Beats Her 89 Year Old Husband To Death With A Cane

I really do want conservative think tanks, pro-family groups, conservative television host Tucker Carlson, and complementarian or conservative Christians to explain to me how marriage or “the family” makes society better, or how marriage is necessary to make a person mature, godly, or a “true” adult,  when I keep seeing so many news stories of married people who kill each other, or news items about husbands who are caught using child porn, beating their wives, or visiting prostitutes.

Marriage did not do anything to make this woman behave in a godly, mature, kind-hearted nature towards her husband.

I am someone who is over the age of 45, I’ve never been married, and I deeply resent conservative talk show hosts or “pro-family” Christian groups who keep acting as though everyone needs to be married, and if they are not, they are ruining society or are incapable of being godly and mature.

The Bible teaches that being single is fine with God – see 1 Corinthians chapter 7. No where does the Bible teach that marriage is mandatory for any reason – not to “save” culture or to make people more “godly.”

This article says that the wife may have dementia or mental health problems – well, did marriage keep this woman from developing mental health issues? No, it did not.

Christians and conservatives need to stop holding marriage or “the family” up as some kind of magical fix-alls.

(Link): Woman, Age 86, Beats Her 89 Year Old Husband To Death With A Cane

An elderly Florida woman beat her husband to death with a cane on Saturday, police said.

Ramona Maxine Lund, 86, from Pace, is charged with 89-year-old Francis Lund’s murder,the Orlando Sentinel reported. She is the oldest person in the county to be charged with murder, Santa Rosa County Sheriff Bob Johnson said at a press conference Monday.

Continue reading “Woman, Age 86, Beats Her 89 Year Old Husband To Death With A Cane”

Preacher John David Terry Murdered and Beheaded Friend to Fake Own Death (1987) – Equally Yoked Is Pointless

Preacher John David Terry Murdered and Beheaded Friend to Fake Own Death (1987) – Equally Yoked Is Pointless

Some Christians insist that single Christian women can and should marry only Christian men.

But why on earth should any Christian woman bother dating or marrying Christian men, when some of them do things like murder other people? See the news coverage below.

(Link): Trial Begins for Preacher Accused in Decapitation of Handyman – 1988

NASHVILLE, Tenn. (AP) _ A minister went on trial Monday on charges of beheading a handyman and burning down his church in an alleged attempt to assume a new identity and disappear with $50,000 in church money.

Jury selection is expected to take most of the week in the first-degree murder and arson trial of the Rev. John David Terry, who faces the death penalty if convicted.

Terry may take the witness stand to break his yearlong silence in the decapitation of James C. Matheny.

The slaying and fire on June 15, 1987, at Emmanuel Church of Christ Pentecostal Oneness stunned Terry’s parishioners. Some have stuck by him since Matheny’s body was found rolled up in a scorched carpet.

(Link): Preacher John David Terry Murdered and Beheaded Friend to Fake Own Death

This week “Grave Secrets” examines the case of Rev. John David Terry, a pastor who took a very dark path indeed.

Nashville, June 16, 1987, and the 44-year-old pastor is found dead after a fire at the church where he preached but the investigation soon reveals something is amiss.

 Terry’s path to crime partly stemmed from his feeling of having failed in life, a feeling he claimed became stronger after his mother died in 1983.

He then hatched a plan to fake his own death and befriended 32-year-old down on his luck father of one James C. Matheny.

He wanted to fake a robbery that would result in his heroic death and claimed that his plan was to include Matheny in the plot.

However, the detectives believe that he lured Matheny to the church and then shot him in the back of the head.

Continue reading “Preacher John David Terry Murdered and Beheaded Friend to Fake Own Death (1987) – Equally Yoked Is Pointless”

Nine Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers by B. Wong

Nine Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers by B. Wong

(Link): Nine Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers by B. Wong

Excerpts:

Avoid a bad end by asking the right questions at the start.

Few people have a keener eye for relationship red flags thandivorce attorneys. They’ve seen firsthand how quickly personality quirks can turn into major annoyances and the problems that can lead to calling it quits.

That also makes them surprisingly good at giving dating advice.

Below, family law attorneys from across the country share nine pointed questions to ask on a first date if you want to avoid getting into a relationship with someone you’ll eventually divorce.

Continue reading “Nine Questions To Ask On A First Date, According To Divorce Lawyers by B. Wong”

Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

(Links): Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her

Dec 2018

A bride on Reddit detailed how she asked a couple at her wedding to leave after they brought their infant and toddler

She had explicitly stated on the wedding invitation that the event was kid-free

Other kids at the ceremony, like the flower girl, were picked up before the reception

Continue reading “Bride Kicks Couple out of her Kid-Free Wedding for Bringing Their Children but People are Defending Her”

A Romantic Partner Is Not Meant to Be Won and Will Power Is Not Love by B. Cooper

A Romantic Partner Is Not Meant to Be Won and Will Power Is Not Love by B. Cooper

(Link): A Romantic Partner Is Not Meant to Be Won and Will Power Is Not Love by B. Cooper

Excerpts:

[Cardi B. is a woman rap singer whose estranged husband, named “Offset,” approached her while she was performing on stage to force a reconciliation with her]

… Stalking behaviors and emotional boundary–breaching have been normalized as romance and desire through popular-culture written and produced by a system controlled by men.

Patriarchy works by making women think that the man who will override her will is the one who loves her most.

Continue reading “A Romantic Partner Is Not Meant to Be Won and Will Power Is Not Love by B. Cooper”

Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse

Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse

On the December 10, 2018 episode of Christian program “The 700 Club,” (which you can view (Link): on You Tube here, the letter comes at 45.27 mark in the video) some single lady wrote to Pat Robertson (adult singles, (Link): stop writing Pat Robertson with your relationship questions, you will seldom get an empathetic reply!), and she said,

[Dear Pat],
I have been asking God for a godly husband for years, but it hasn’t happened yet.  So does that mean God doesn’t want me to be married?
[Signed,]
Cathy

Pat Robertson basically tells Cathy that he doesn’t know what to say, but he tacks on his standard “God puts the lonely in families” reply, which I’ve discussed before on this blog: the truth is that no, despite that Bible verse about God putting the lonely in families, that is not true.

Continue reading “Cathy The Single Woman Asks Pat Robertson Why God Has Not Replied to Her Prayers for Years to Send Her a Spouse”

Woman Who Married 300 Year Old Ghost Pirate Says Pair Have Split Up

Woman Who Married 300 Year Old Ghost Pirate Says Pair Have Split Up

(Link): Woman Who Married 300 Year Old Ghost Pirate Says Pair Have Split Up

by K. Highnett – Dec 2018

In July 2016, Irish woman Amanda Teague declared that she had married the undead spirit of Jack Teague, a 300-year old Haitian pirate she claims inspired the Pirates of the Caribbean movie series’ iconic Jack Sparrow.

Teague, who is a Jack Sparrow impersonator, announced the split on social media, writing, “So I feel it’s time to let everyone know that my marriage is over. I will explain all in due course but for now all I want to say is be very careful when dabbling in spirituality, it’s not something to mess with,” The Mirror reported.

Continue reading “Woman Who Married 300 Year Old Ghost Pirate Says Pair Have Split Up”

What is the Purpose of Marriage? Is It to Display Christ’s Love for the Church? by B. Roberts

What is the Purpose of Marriage? Is It to Display Christ’s Love for the Church? by B. Roberts

The following comes from a Christian blog that specializes in domestic violence in Christian marriages, and how churches usually let down victims of domestic violence.

I’ve always had a problem with the “marriage serves to illustrate God’s love for the church,” or however it’s put, because it leaves out adult singles. What of adult singles who never marry?

The fact is the Bible says anyone who accepts Christ as Savior is part of the “bride of Christ,” so adult singleness also serves as an illustration of the relationship between God and the church, but one never hears this from the marriage-idolizing Christians.

(Link): What is the purpose of marriage? Is it to display Christ’s love for the church? by B. Roberts

Excerpts:

Many Christian leaders these days are echoing the Roman Catholic view more than the Protestant view
Some protestants take the idea that marriage signifies unto us the mystical union that is betwixt Christ and his Church …and turn this signifying quality into one of the purposes of marriage.

Continue reading “What is the Purpose of Marriage? Is It to Display Christ’s Love for the Church? by B. Roberts”

Dear Advice Lady: ‘My Husband’s Been Having Filthy Online Sex While Wearing Women’s Panties And Now Someone Is Blackmailing Him’

Dear Advice Lady: ‘My Husband’s Been Having Filthy Online Sex While Wearing Women’s Panties And Now Someone Is Blackmailing Him’

I see stuff like this and think, “I’m kind of glad I never married.”

If this is what marriage is, NO THANK YOU.

As to all that conservative Christian garbage about how marriage is necessary to make people godly, sexually pure, and what not – this is clear proof that once again, no, it does not.

Marriage did not keep the guy in this letter from using porn sites, wearing women’s underwear while masturbating, and engaging in phone or e-mail sex with various women online.

(Link): DEAR DEIDRE My husband’s hooked on filthy online sex and wears lingerie to pleasure himself

DEAR DEIDRE:
MY husband has been blackmailed by a girl he was having online sex with and I only found out when I found a letter from the police saying their investigation was complete.

I am 32, he is 34.

We have been together for ten years and have two kids aged eight and six.

I confronted him and he told me the girl added him on Facebook and it quickly escalated to online sex and mutual masturbation talk.

Then she tried to blackmail him. He went to the police but didn’t tell anyone. I feel sorry for him but it feels like the final straw.

Continue reading “Dear Advice Lady: ‘My Husband’s Been Having Filthy Online Sex While Wearing Women’s Panties And Now Someone Is Blackmailing Him’”

Couple Put Kids In Car Trunk for 900 Mile Drive So Dogs Could Sit on Back Seat

Couple Put Kids In Car Trunk for 900 Mile Drive So Dogs Could Sit on Back Seat

And 99% of conservative Christians go on and on about how being a parent is necessary to make a person a true adult, and to make someone more loving, giving, and godly. What a bunch of crap.

Here’s another example of how parenthood did not make people more loving, giving or godly:

(Link): Couple Put Kids In Car Trunk for 900 Mile Drive So Dogs Could Sit on Back Seat

by Jimmy McCloskey
Friday 7 Dec 2018 3:42 pm

A couple admitted putting two young children in a car trunk for a 900 mile drive so their German shepherds could ride on the back seat.

Continue reading “Couple Put Kids In Car Trunk for 900 Mile Drive So Dogs Could Sit on Back Seat”

Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes

Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes

Someone on Twitter, a @ExposingMammon, sent a link of this video to me on Twitter, so thank you to her. 

It’s a rather long video. I’ve so far only listened to about the first one fourth of it and would like to listen to it at a later date. For the the part I’ve listened to, it’s got some okay content.

(Link): Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes


Related Posts:

(Link): The Grief, Happiness, and Hope of Late-in-Life Singleness by H. Ferguson (she married for first time at age 58)

(Link):   True Love Waits . . . and Waits . . . and Waits – editorial about delayed marriage and related issues

Continue reading “Learning to Embrace Being An Older Single Woman by Pastor RC Blakes”

Couple Says 30-Year Age Gap Means Hotter Sex (*Barf*)

Couple Says 30-Year Age Gap Means Hotter Sex (*Barf*)

Give it another 30 or so years, and she’ll be changing his adult diapers. I wonder if she’ll find that hot, unless she’s one of those weirdos (Link): who is into adult playing baby fetishes?

Article says he’s 50-something, but IMO, he looks way older than 50-something.

Link below isn’t much on an article – it’s mainly a video, a video I haven’t watched.

(Link): Couple Says 30-Year Age Gap Means Hotter Sex (*Barf*)

Puke
Puke

 Vince and Wesleigh may have been born 30 years apart, but that hasn’t stopped them from falling in love. The couple, who live in Little Rock, Arkansas, just welcomed their first child together and plan to stay together for the rest of their lives.


Related Posts:

(Link): Creepy, Wrong, Immature and Pathetic: Older Men Chasing After Much Younger Women

(Link):  Study:  Big Gaps in Age Can Turn A Marriage Sour in Just Six Years

(Link):  Thirty Year Old Man Likes To Date and Have Sex with 80, 90 Year Old Women

Continue reading “Couple Says 30-Year Age Gap Means Hotter Sex (*Barf*)”

Yes, You Need to Prioritize Your Marriage Over Your Kids by V. Pelley

Yes, You Need to Prioritize Your Marriage Over Your Kids by V. Pelley

I’ve done one or two posts on this subject previously on this blog.

One reason I don’t want to date or marry men who have children from previous relationships is that they may put their kids before me.

Notice in the interview below how married couples are (Link): greedy, they’re self-involved: they even admit that the “lion’s share” of their time is devoted to their careers, next, their kids, and lastly, their romantic lives with their spouses.

This information flies in the face of warped, false, Christian teachings that married couples are more godly and giving than single adults.

Christians often wrongly and incorrectly portray single adults as being totally self-absorbed, sexually promiscuous people who are in a state of arrested development.

(Link): Yes, You Need to Prioritize Your Marriage Over Your Kids by V. Pelley

More than a few men joke that they fall third or fourth in their wives’ pecking order, after the kids and the dog.

But for a lot guys (and moms), it’s not really a joke. Many assume that’s the way it should be — after all, being a good parent means putting the kids’ needs first, no matter what.

And because in this day and age parents are expected to be more attentive and accommodating to children than ever before, that’s a pretty all-consuming job.

But many psychologists and relationship experts push back on that idea, arguing that your spouse should come before your children.

The theory is that without a strong marriage and loving home, kids won’t thrive, so you’re doing them a disservice by putting your spouse on the back burner, which can lead to marital trouble and even divorce.

Continue reading “Yes, You Need to Prioritize Your Marriage Over Your Kids by V. Pelley”

Woman Arrested AGAIN for Battering Man who Declined to Have Sex with Her…

Woman arrested AGAIN for battering man who declined to have sex with her…

It’s usually men who react violently to sexual rebuffs or dating rejection, but in this case it’s a woman.

(Link): Woman arrested AGAIN for battering man who declined to have sex with her… 

Second time Floridian, 31, busted after sex advances were spurned

November 2018

NOVEMBER 26–A Florida Woman battered her boyfriend after he “said no and went back to bed” after she “grabbed his genitals wanting to have sex” on Thanksgiving night, cops say.

Rebecca Lynn Phelps, 31, was arrested for domestic battery following a confrontation in the Tampa-area home she shares with the victim and the couple’s child.

Continue reading “Woman Arrested AGAIN for Battering Man who Declined to Have Sex with Her…”

The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father

The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father

There was a television special on a few days ago about Gary Ridgway, who is the Green River serial killer.

Several aspects of this pervert’s life are relevant to subjects I discuss regularly on this blog, so keep on reading…

Ridgway had upwards of around 70 women victims, most in age of about 15 to their early 20s, though a few may have been around 12 or 13 years old.

Most of Ridgway’s victims were prostitutes, some were runaway kids.

Ridgway later admitted to authorities to occasionally going back and having sex with the dead bodies of his murder victims.

Here is how this pervert’s story is relevant to this blog:

Point 1. Marriage and Parenthood Do Not Make People Into Godly, Mature, Responsible Adults

I grew up in Southern Baptist churches. Both my parents were Southern Baptists.

Like many other conservative Christian groups, Southern Baptists peddle some untrue and un-biblical notions about marriage, natalism, and the family unit: they tend to assume and they will also sometimes teach, that marriage or parenthood are necessary to make a person fully adult, mature, godly, responsible, and ethical.

Continue reading “The Green River Serial Killer and Necrophiliac Was A Christian Married Father”

Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It

Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It

The link to the news story is much farther below.

If I am understanding this article correctly, this woman sexually abused her own infant son as she was breastfeeding him, took video of it, and uploaded the video somewhere.

In the article, she says she made these child sex abuse videos because she has low self esteem because the father of the infant son she was abusing dumped her – he left her.

I grew up hearing from Christians – Christians in churches I went to, in Christian literature, and even now, sometimes I see on Christian magazine sites and blogs, that the nuclear family, marriage, and kids are all-important are the only things that can fix American culture.

Further, a lot of conservative Christians will teach that marriage and parenthood are necessary to make a person a true, full adult. They will teach that anyone who remains single and/or childless has stunted development, is immature, ungodly,  and irresponsible.

Continue reading “Mother Sexually Abused Her Own Infant Son While Breastfeeding Him And Video Taping It”

Actor Stephen Baldwin, Who is Married, Christian, and a Father, Accused of Having a Two Year Extra-Marital Affair

Actor Stephen Baldwin, Who is Married, Christian, and a Father, Accused of Having a Two Year Extra-Marital Affair

A few days ago, I saw headlines about a woman claiming that actor Stephen Baldwin had an affair with her for two years. I saw another headline where Baldwin is denying this.

I think it’s probably true. Several years ago, Baldwin was a frequent guest on Christian TBN, on various shows.

He was, at least for a time, making “extreme sports” films aimed at teens and with a Christian message.

Baldwin seemed to be one of those “family values” type of guys.

Over the duration of my life, I have listened to so many Christians, and so many secular conservatives, rail against liberals for not supporting traditional values or the “nuclear family.”

I’ve listened to other conservatives (yes, I am also a conservative) complain about how liberals or the culture doesn’t support (hetero) marriage.

I’ve also sat through sermons, or have seen blog posts and articles online, where conservatives and Christians, go on and on about how important (hetero) marriage is, and they insultingly conflate adult maturity with marriage. They will argue that adult singles are not as mature as married adults. Some Christians also mistakenly believe that married people are more godly, responsible, or sexually pure than adult singles – all of which is not true.

Reports such as this one (and I think it is true) – about conservative, married men who are also fathers who claim to be Christian – demonstrates that being married, embracing family values, and being a parent, does not make a man more decent, godly, sexually pure, or responsible than it does someone who is single, childfree or childless.

(Link): The born-again Christian was seen on video getting cozy with a masseuse.

The born-again Christian was seen on video getting cozy with a masseuse.

(Link): STEPHEN BALDWIN IS CHEATING ON HIS WIFE AND DENIES EVERYTHING

(Link): Stephen Baldwin Denies Having an Affair With Masseuse Ruth Perez Anselmi 

(Link): Stephen Baldwin Denies Reports He’s Having An Affair After Incriminating Photos Emerge

(Link): EXCLUSIVE: ‘I love Stephen but he wants to keep me secret.’ Baldwin’s mistress tells DailyMailTV of their two-year affair, the 15 ‘sexual fantasies’ they acted out and how the actor ‘disguised himself as a homeless man’ to sneak around together

by R P West, Nov 2018

Ruth Perez Anselmi, 39, says she and Stephen Baldwin began a sexual relationship during his business trips to LA

The married actor, 52, met Anselmi at a Reseda physical therapy school in the summer of 2016 in LA where she was learning how to be a masseuse

In an exclusive interview with DailyMailTV she said: ‘I guess I love Stephen but we can’t be together, he wants to keep me secret ‘

She said the two ‘made a list of 15 sexual fantasies’ including role-play, using sex toys, threesome sex with another woman, and she once even dressed as a man

Continue reading “Actor Stephen Baldwin, Who is Married, Christian, and a Father, Accused of Having a Two Year Extra-Marital Affair”

Pat Robertson’s Insensitive Reply to a Domestic Violence Victim (November 2018)

Pat Robertson’s Insensitive Reply to a Domestic Violence Victim (November 2018)

Before I present the viewer question from the domestic violence victim, and Pat Roberston’s horrible response to that person, I wanted to say a few words first.

I’ve already done a post on this blog called (Link): “Women, Stop Asking Pat Robertson Relationship Advice,” but women (and sometimes men) keep e-mailing Pat Robertson for relationship advice.

Here is the gist of that previous post:
If you write Robertson for relationship advice – especially if you are a woman – 9 out of 10 times, Robertson’s reply will be sexist, unsympathetic, and victim-blaming. So do not waste your time.

Secondly, you’re an adult.
You don’t need Pat or the Bible or any other person to tell you what you need to do or what you should do. You can make up your own mind as to what you think is best for you.

Abusers do not change, no matter how much you submit and pray for the abuser.

It is a waste of your time and “tossing pearls before swine” to stay with an abuser. If you consider divorce a sin (I don’t, certainly not in the case of abuse – and abuse can be verbal, emotional, and financial, not just physical), God says in the Bible he forgives sin.

What most all the competent articles and books about domestic violence say is this:
You will need to leave the abuser – contact your local domestic violence shelter for assistance in that.

Continue reading “Pat Robertson’s Insensitive Reply to a Domestic Violence Victim (November 2018)”