Dear Prudence, Help! I’m Glad My Awful Husband Is Dead.

Dear Prudence: Help! I’m Glad My Awful Husband Is Dead.

(Link): Dear Prudence: Help! I’m Glad My Awful Husband Is Dead.

August 19, 2019

Question.
Happy: I am a 38-year-old widow. The day my husband died was the happiest day of my life.

He was a miserable, vindictive man whose greatest joy was tearing me down.

He cheated on me constantly and would cheerfully recount all my inadequacies compared with his mistresses.

If I left, he would “pursue me to the ends of the earth.”

He never hit me, for what it is worth. At the end, I was isolated and alone; my only social outlet was my family. They all knew how horrible my marriage was, which is what makes their reaction now more hurtful.

I am going to travel. I am going to visit exotic places, drink wine, and learn a foreign language.

I have enough money to be quite comfortable for the rest of my life.

I would rather shoot myself than ever get married again.

Continue reading “Dear Prudence, Help! I’m Glad My Awful Husband Is Dead.”

Dear Prudence, My Friend Won’t Stop Demanding I Get Pregnant

Dear Prudence, My Friend Won’t Stop Demanding I Get Pregnant

How frigging obnoxious. I would not have a problem telling this “Jane” person, if I knew her, to STFU and get out of my business.

I’m sure not opposed to people having children and so on, but even as a conservative, I find that most conservatives – especially the religious types – do this same thing that “Jane” is doing to her female friends on a bigger scale: they are forever publishing thought pieces, usually alarmist or shaming in nature, screaming at all women to run out and get pregnant, and they too can STFU about this.

(Link): Dear Prudence, My My Friend Won’t Stop Demanding I Get Pregnant 

By DANIEL MALLORY ORTBERG

Dear Prudence,

My friend “Betty” is single, and I’m about to get married, but we’ve both noticed a recent trend with our friend “Jane” that we can’t abide. Every time we see her, Jane expresses how excited she is for us to have children.

We hear some version of “You have to have kids!” or “I can’t wait till you have babies!”

Usually she is drunk when this happens, but she’s mentioned it sober too. It makes us both extremely uncomfortable.

Continue reading “Dear Prudence, My Friend Won’t Stop Demanding I Get Pregnant”

Christian Rock Star Arrested In Connection With Child Sex Assault Probe Before Going on Stage

Christian Rock Star Arrested In Connection With Child Sex Assault Probe Before Going on Stage

The article says that this Christian rock star has a son. So, this guy is a father. I would assume that the rock star was married at one point (unless he had his son out of wedlock).

I point this out to say that a lot of conservative Christians and conservative secular think tanks keep arguing that “family values” and being “pro marriage” and people having children will somehow “fix” the United States. No, it won’t.

First of all, no passage in the Bible argues that the way to “fix” culture is to have more marriage and more natalism – chapter seven in 1 Corinthians actually says it is better to remain single than it is to marry. The Bible says a person must be changed by accepting Jesus as her savior, not by getting married and having kids. The Bible doesn’t talk about cleaning up culture.

Secondly, personal observation. There are way too many married people with children we all know, or have read about who are selfish, rapists, child molesters, or into selling drugs and what all (see some examples of that on this blog (Link): here and (Link): here).

Marriage and parenthood are not guarantees of making a person more mature, ethical, godly, principled, and responsible – but conservatives keep arguing otherwise, and it’s a highly deceitful and unbiblical argument for them to continue to advance.

Please see the bottom of this post for more remarks by me.

(Link): Christian Rock Star Arrested In Connection With Child Sex Assault Probe Before Going on Stage

Excerpts:

By BRIAN NIEMIETZ
NEW YORK DAILY NEWS |
AUG 14, 2019 | 2:48 PM

A Christian rocker had to cancel his performance at eastern Minnesota’s Wood City Music Festival after Cloquet, Minn., cops arrested him on two charges of felony sex assault against a child, according to an ABC News affiliate in Duluth.

Continue reading “Christian Rock Star Arrested In Connection With Child Sex Assault Probe Before Going on Stage”

Don’t Settle for Crumbs: Hope for Christian Singles (video)

Don’t Settle for Crumbs: Hope for Christian Singles

Women Being Slut Shamed, Virgin Shamed, or Celibate Shamed at The Doctor’s Office

Women Being Slut Shamed, Virgin Shamed, or Celibate Shamed at The Doctor’s Office

So, I saw a headline go through my Twitter feed a few weeks ago about a woman who says while on a trip to the doctor’s office to get a check up, she was “slut shamed” by a nurse practitioner at that appointment. (The link to that is towards the bottom of this post.)

I don’t doubt her experience, but I chipped in under that Tweet or another related to mention that as a chaste woman – I’m over 45 and still a virgin myself – I had the same exact thing happen to me, but in the reverse, when I was in my mid or late 20s and had to see a doctor to get blood tests done (over a non-sexual related medical issue).

The doctor I saw at my appointment sort of “Virgin-Shamed” me at that time.

We’re all the time hearing about “Slut Shaming” in our culture, but there is far more Celibacy- and Virgin- Shaming taking place than Slut Shaming.

However, I don’t very often see feminists discussing Virgin-Shaming nearly as much.

As a matter of fact, some feminists who are always complaining about “slut shaming” participate in Celibate-Shaming, or Virgin-Shaming (and sadly, other conservatives also participate in virgin shaming or celibate shaming as well, though many conservatives CLAIM to respect sexual abstinence – but they really do not).

The lady doctor I saw when I was in my mid to late 20s said in addition to running the tests I was in to see her for that day (and I don’t recall now what they were, only that the tests were not related to anything of a sexual nature), she also wanted to run sexually transmitted disease tests on my blood samples to make sure I did not have any sexually transmitted diseases.

I laughed and told her that would be a waste of her time and the lab’s time, as I was still a virgin.

Continue reading “Women Being Slut Shamed, Virgin Shamed, or Celibate Shamed at The Doctor’s Office”

Why a Woman’s Sex Life Declines After Menopause (Hint: Sometimes It’s Her Partner) By T. Parker-Pope

Why a Woman’s Sex Life Declines After Menopause (Hint: Sometimes It’s Her Partner) By T. Parker-Pope

(Link): Why a Woman’s Sex Life Declines After Menopause (Hint: Sometimes It’s Her Partner)

Excerpts:

By Tara Parker-Pope
August 2019

A revealing new analysis gives voice to the many reasons a woman’s sex life often falters with age.

For many women, sex after menopause is not as satisfying as it used to be. But is menopause entirely to blame?

New research suggests that the hormonal changes that come with menopause are only part of the reason a woman’s sex life declines with age. It’s true that many women experience symptoms after menopause, including vaginal dryness, painful intercourse and loss of desire — all of which can affect the frequency and pleasure of sex.

But the new study shows that the reasons many women stop wanting sex, enjoying sex and having sex are far more complex.

While women traditionally have been blamed when sex wanes in a relationship, the research shows that, often, it’s the health of a woman’s partner that determines whether she remains sexually active and satisfied with her sex life.

(Most studies have focused entirely on heterosexual women, so less is known about same-sex couples after menopause.)

Continue reading “Why a Woman’s Sex Life Declines After Menopause (Hint: Sometimes It’s Her Partner) By T. Parker-Pope”

New York City Woman Turns 107: ‘The Secret’ Is ‘I Never Got Married’

New York City Woman Turns 107: ‘The Secret’ Is ‘I Never Got Married’ 

(Link): New York City Woman Turns 107: ‘The Secret’ Is ‘I Never Got Married’

Louise Signore celebrated her birthday on Wednesday and credited her long life to staying single

August 1, 2019

A New York City woman celebrating more than a century of life has some advice for other women looking to someday do the same: Don’t become a bride!

“I think the secret of 107 [is] I never got married. I think that’s the secret,” Louise Signore told WCBS with a laugh. “My sister says, ‘I wish I never got married!’ ”

Continue reading “New York City Woman Turns 107: ‘The Secret’ Is ‘I Never Got Married’”

Family Values Won’t Stop Mass Shootings – Lawmaker Who Blamed Dayton Massacre on Same-Sex Marriage and Break Down of the Family Urged by GOP Leader to Resign

Family Values Won’t Stop Mass Shootings – Lawmaker Who Blamed Dayton Massacre on Same-Sex Marriage and Break Down of the Family Urged by GOP Leader to Resign

I’m a conservative person and was a life-long Republican until 2014/2015. So, I’m certainly not a left wing, family- or family-values hating person.

However, I do believe that other conservatives over-estimate the importance of, or the effects of, the nuclear family, marriage, and “family values.”

I have (Link): plenty of examples on my blog of self-professing, God-fearing “family men,” who even tout family values, who do things like rape children or beat their wives.

Even if every one in our nation was married with children, and professed belief in Christ, we’d still continue to have sin – we’d have mass shootings, rapes, and the like.

Granted, if people were sincere about following Christ and his teachings, maybe some of those things would decline, but I don’t believe any of those things would give us a crime-free society.

The Bible doesn’t say any where the marriage, the nuclear family, and (Link): being a parent will make people into better, more ethical people. The Bible points people to Christ, not to marriage or pro-creation.

Family values, the family unit, marriage, and natalism have not stopped men from raping children and beating their wives – again, I have plenty examples on my blog of married men who are fathers to children who have been arrested for raping their own children, selling their own children to other men for sex, for beating and murdering their wives (see here and here).

And, by the way, I don’t think video games or homosexual marriage causes mass shootings, either. This lady is wrong.

(Link): Ohio lawmaker blames mass shootings on open borders, homosexuality, video games

Excerpts:

Candice Keller is a Republican state representative from Middletown, a small city 30 miles south of Dayton, where a gunman killed at least nine people and wounded 27 others early Sunday. In a now-deleted Facebook post, she wrote: “After every mass shooting, the liberals start the blame game. Why not place the blame where it belongs?”

 The post listed reasons Keller thought the United States is grappling with mass shootings, including “the breakdown of the traditional American family,”… Continue reading “Family Values Won’t Stop Mass Shootings – Lawmaker Who Blamed Dayton Massacre on Same-Sex Marriage and Break Down of the Family Urged by GOP Leader to Resign”

Man Confesses to Threatening to Rape, Murder Pro-Life Activists

Man Confesses to Threatening to Rape, Murder Pro-Life Activists

Many pro-choice adherents claim to be “pro woman,” but I don’t see how this guy can be “pro woman” when he’s willing to rape and murder women (or their daughters) over a difference of opinion on the abortion issue.

(Link): Man Confessed to Threatening to Rape, Murder Pro-Life Activists

Excerpts:

A Kansas man has admitted to the crime of threatening to rape and murder employees at a national pro-life organization.

Christopher M. Thompson, 22, of Wichita, plead guilty on Monday to one count of threatening members of Operation Rescue in 2018.

According to a statement by the Department of Justice’s U.S. Attorney’s Office for the District of Kansas, Thompson admitted to making three phone calls to Operation Rescue in one day that included threats against them.

Continue reading “Man Confesses to Threatening to Rape, Murder Pro-Life Activists”

Seven Reasons Not To Get Married, According to Science

Seven Reasons Not To Get Married, According to Science

(Link): Seven Reasons Not To Get Married, According to Science

Excerpts:

…According to the Pew Research Center, in 2012, (Link): one in five adults age 25 and older (at the time, that was about 42 million people) had never been married. Compare that to 1960, when only about one in ten adults of the same age range had never been married.

That rise in never-marrieds is attributed to the fact that folks are getting hitched later in life, and that more couples are cohabiting and raising children outside of marriage.

Right now, the median age for first marriages is its highest ever: 30 years old for men and 28 years for women, according to U.S. Census Bureau data taken in 2018.

Continue reading “Seven Reasons Not To Get Married, According to Science”

Aspiring Pastor Drowns on Honeymoon in Florida: ‘3 Days of Wedded Bliss Turned into a Nightmare

Aspiring Pastor Drowns on Honeymoon in Florida: ‘3 Days of Wedded Bliss Turned into a Nightmare

I have several news stories similar to this on my blog: people who marry, but within minutes or hours or days, one or both married people are dead.

This goes to show that marriage is not a guarantee of lifelong companionship, stability, or happiness, as so many marriage-promoting conservative Christian and secular groups depict it as being.

(Link): Aspiring Pastor Drowns on Honeymoon in Florida: ‘3 Days of Wedded Bliss Turned into a Nightmare

August 2019

After three short days of “wedded bliss” a young Iowa woman went from bride to widow after her husband tragically drowned while on their honeymoon.

Continue reading “Aspiring Pastor Drowns on Honeymoon in Florida: ‘3 Days of Wedded Bliss Turned into a Nightmare”

It’s A Woman’s Choice: Falling Fertility Rates Are Not the Business of Government by G. Hinsliff

It’s A Woman’s Choice: Falling Fertility Rates Are Not the Business of Government by G. Hinsliff

(Link): It’s A Woman’s Choice: Falling Fertility Rates Are Not the Business of Government

The British birthrate is at a record low, but policymakers should steer clear of trying to influence this most personal of decisions

August 2019

How many children should a woman have, and when? It’s a trick question, of course, because the answer is nearly always “none of your damn business”.

There is no one perfect solution to this most personal and intimate of dilemmas, no iron rule for getting it right, and yet that doesn’t stop the world and its aunt seemingly having an opinion.

Continue reading “It’s A Woman’s Choice: Falling Fertility Rates Are Not the Business of Government by G. Hinsliff”

Impure Motives Of ‘Purity Culture’ Critics by R. Dreher

Impure Motives Of ‘Purity Culture’ Critics by R. Dreher

Before we get to the link and excerpts to the page by Dreher, let’s talk for a moment about the liberal Christian and ex-Christian backlash against Purity Culture:

I’ve seen this as well, time and again from the “anti purity culture” brigade on Tweets and blogs:
They think that dismantling “Purity Culture” means rejecting all Christian sexual ethics, or the “rules” or specific morals of it they do not like, including the biblical teaching that fornication is considered a sin (some self-professing Christians are actually on blogs insisting that God doesn’t prohibit pre-marital sex, but they can’t point to verses that say that God accepts it, either).

But there is definitely a “throw the baby out with the bathwater” mindset among many of the “anti Purity Culture” adherents. They also tend to “look down their noses” at adults over the age of 30 who voluntarily sexually abstain – both liberals and Christian conservatives view adult celibates as repressed, weird, or as freaks.

I’m a woman who never married, was committed to the idea of abstaining until marriage, so I am still a virgin – and I’m currently in my forties. I mention that because one thing I’d like to make clear: not everyone who leaves the faith does so due to sexual considerations.

I myself am not quite Christian and not quite non-Christian – but I remain celibate. I’m now fine with the idea of having sex outside of marriage, but only in a committed relationship – but I arrived at this view years after my faith crisis began.

In other words, having sex was not a reason as to why I’m somewhat walked away from the faith – sex was not the cause or my reason.

So, if you are a Christian who tut tuts and shames people online for leaving the faith, please stop assuming that most who leave the faith do so because they are sexual libertines who want to have sex all over the place. That may be true for some ex-Christians or for some doubters, but it’s certainly not the case for all of them.

(Link): Impure Motives Of ‘Purity Culture’ Critics

Excerpts:

Matthew Lee Anderson (Link): makes a true and necessary point about Josh Harris’s apostasy and the subsequent critiques of Evangelical “purity culture.” Excerpts: [omit]

….As I’ve said before, I don’t have any direct experience with “purity culture,” though I have friends who are theologically conservative on sexual matters, but who say that they were damaged by it.

Their point, as I understand it, is not that traditional Christian sexual ethics are wrong, but that “purity culture” distorts them in a rigidly legalistic way that can harm the ability of particular believers to live out these ethics. I accept that this can be true. I have seen this kind of thing at work within non-Protestant religious circles too.

That said, Anderson is certainly right that whatever the problems with purity culture, they can never justify throwing out Christian sexual ethics, tout court.

Continue reading “Impure Motives Of ‘Purity Culture’ Critics by R. Dreher”

Thoughts Regarding ‘Both Purity Culture and Hook-Up Culture Failed Me’ by A. Murrish

Thoughts Regarding ‘Both Purity Culture and Hook-Up Culture Failed Me’ by A. Murrish

First, here is a link to the page I will be discussing:

(Link): Both Purity Culture and Hook-Up Culture Failed Me

I don’t care for this editorial.

For one thing it sort of spiritualizes the status of singleness, which is grating to any adult over the age of 35, who had hoped to marry, but is still single.

Next, the author points to the church as a solution for singles.

She is essentially telling marriage-desiring singles to lose themselves in church, to find belonging in church groups.

The problem with this is that for many never-married adults (and some divorced and widowed) over the age of 30, most churches either ignore adult singles, or they insult adult singles, because they are too preoccupied with promoting marriage and catering to the needs of married couples.

Continue reading “Thoughts Regarding ‘Both Purity Culture and Hook-Up Culture Failed Me’ by A. Murrish”

Matt Walsh V. Marriage Idolaters Such as Bradford Wilcox and Mark Regnerus

Matt Walsh V. Marriage Idolaters Such as Bradford Wilcox and Mark Regnerus

So, hyper conservative Matt Walsh tweeted this out in regards to a lady (I think she’s a model or actress? – her name is Julianne Hough) who says after she married her husband (who is a biological man) that she is “not straight” (which I assume means she is attracted to women – as well as to men(?)).

Here is Walsh’s tweet on the matter:

Oh so she lied to her husband and married him under false pretenses. What an inspiration.
—-

I’ve been a conservative for the duration of my life, but conservatives (who usually claim to be “Pro Family” and “Pro Marriage”) are often hypocritical about these topics, or hold some pretty odd, troubling views.

Many conservatives, especially ones who promote Male Headship Complementarianism, and the ones who are members of pro-family organizations and think tanks – such as Bradford Wilcox of the Institute For Family Studies – promote marriage at the expense of singleness (they regularly slam, insult, and put down singleness), or they promote some unethical, unbiblical views, as I’ve outlined in previous posts on my blog.

Continue reading “Matt Walsh V. Marriage Idolaters Such as Bradford Wilcox and Mark Regnerus”

How Often Do People Lie on Dating Apps? Here’s What Two Researchers Found

How Often Do People Lie on Dating Apps? Here’s What Two Researchers Found

(Link): How Often Do People Lie on Dating Apps? Here’s What Two Researchers Found

Excerpts:

BY DAVID MARKOWITZ, UNIVERSITY OF OREGON / THE CONVERSATION JULY 31, 2019

Nearly one-fourth of young adults are looking for love through dating websites or apps.

This relatively new form of courtship can give you access to a large pool of potential partners. It also presents a unique set of challenges.

For example, you’ve probably heard about — or have personally experienced — a date that was planned online but didn’t go well forone of the following reasons: He was shorter than his profile said he was, she looked different in person than she did in her photos, or he was talkative over text but it was like pulling teeth at dinner.

Continue reading “How Often Do People Lie on Dating Apps? Here’s What Two Researchers Found”

I Called Off My Engagement. I Didn’t Feel God’s Peace. by L. Wilbert

I Called Off My Engagement. I Didn’t Feel God’s Peace. by L. Wilbert

I’m not sure I agree completely with this editorial, which I have linked to and excerpted further below. I think it over-spiritualizes things.

When I was engaged, I didn’t feel God’s peace of lack thereof. I had to decide for myself if the guy I was engaged to was right or not. After several years together, I prayed for guidance, because I didn’t know if I should stay or go.

I never did get any guidance from God, not even when I was praying hardest. I ultimately had to make up my own mind.

I really wish that Christians would stop offering this view that if one just trusts God, that God will direct one’s life choices (such as if to marry a certain person or not).

God has never, ever guided me – not when I was engaged, not when I was in my twenties and asking God which college major and career I should pursue. I never felt God’s peace, nor did I feel God saying, “No” to any of those things (and I didn’t feel or hear God saying, “Yes,” either).

I think this article below is just as bad as those articles by Christians who claim God “led them” to their spouse, like the lady who says God sent her a spouse when she went for a walk on the beach (see links about all that at the bottom of this post, under “related”).

Sometimes, the Spirit is going to remain totally silent – the Spirit is not going to give you his blessing or with-hold it.

(Link): I Called Off My Engagement. I Didn’t Feel God’s Peace. by L. Wilbert

Excerpts:

Looking for the right fit in a spouse is often less important than praying for the Spirit’s blessing.

Continue reading “I Called Off My Engagement. I Didn’t Feel God’s Peace. by L. Wilbert”

Match.com Rapist Jason Lawrance Found Guilty of More Sex Attacks

Match.com Rapist Jason Lawrance Found Guilty of More Sex Attacks

This article says he is father to three children. So obviously, contrary to Al Mohler, Bradford Wilcox and other conservatives who push the narrative that parenthood makes people more godly, mature, and responsible, has been shown (once again) to not be true.

The article also says some of his rapes of various women were committed after he married one woman – so obviously, again, contrary to conservative Christian and secular think tanks and persons, marriage does not make people more godly, loving, or ethical.

(Link): Match.com Rapist Jason Lawrance Found Guilty of More Sex Attacks

July 2019

Former businessman assaulted 12 women between over a five-year period to ‘satisfy a selfish sexual need’

A convicted serial rapist has been found guilty of further sex attacks on five women he met on an internet dating site.

Father-of-three Jason Lawrance contacted thousands of women onMatch.com or its partner company Dating Direct between 2009 and 2014, attacking 12 of them to “satisfy a selfish sexual need”.

Continue reading “Match.com Rapist Jason Lawrance Found Guilty of More Sex Attacks”

Letter to Advice Columnist: ‘I’m A Virgin Age 55 and I Worry My Life is Wasted’

Letter to Advice Columnist: ‘I’m A Virgin Age 55 and I Worry My Life is Wasted’

I’m less perturbed by this guy’s homosexual orientation and more by his ageism. What is it with older men (LGBT or hetero) who insist on only boinking or dating and marrying much younger people?

And by the way: it’s a sad, sad misunderstanding and misconception by a lot of people that all people (or most) who are virgins or never-married by the age of 30 or 40 are all LGBT. That is not true! I too am a never married adult, am still a virgin, yet I am a hetero. I am NOT LGBT.

(Link): Dear Coleen: I’m a virgin age 55 and I worry my life is wasted

by C. Nolan
July 2019

Growing up in a small village community, I never felt comfortable declaring how I felt and only two or three people know the truth about me

Dear Coleen
I’m a 55-year-old gay man and I’ve known about my sexuality since my teens, but I’ve never had any sexual experiences or relationships with anyone.

I’m still a virgin and I keep my sexuality a closely guarded secret.

Continue reading “Letter to Advice Columnist: ‘I’m A Virgin Age 55 and I Worry My Life is Wasted’”

Gay People Exist Because Pregnant Women Have Anal Sex, Says Cypriot Bishop in Shocking Statement

Gay People Exist Because Pregnant Women Have Anal Sex, Says Cypriot Bishop in Shocking Statement

Well that’s news to me.

(And, by the way: Most women do not like anal sex – they only do it because their boyfriend or husband pressures them into doing it.)

(Link): Gay People Exist Because Pregnant Women Have Anal Sex, Says Cypriot Bishop in Shocking Statement

by James Gant
July 25, 2019

A bishop has been condemned for saying gay people exist because pregnant women have anal sex.

Church of Cyprus bishop Neophytos Masouras of Morphou said at a primary school in Akaki, Nicosia District, that the sexuality is passed on when expectant women enjoy the act.

Continue reading “Gay People Exist Because Pregnant Women Have Anal Sex, Says Cypriot Bishop in Shocking Statement”