Victim Syndrome (‘Are You A Victim of the Victim Syndrome’) – by Insead

Victim Syndrome (‘Are You A Victim of the Victim Syndrome’) – by Insead

Via “Insead,” (this is in PDF format):

(Link): Are You A Victim of the Victim Syndrome?

Excerpts:

Do you know people who always behave like victims? People who blame others when bad things happen to them?

And do they blame their family, partner, people at work, or any number of things that they perceive to be victimizing them? … and if you have ever tried helping them, have you discovered that “rescuing” them from the trouble they are in can be an excruciating process?

Do you resent the way every bit of advice you offer is brushed aside or rejected, often contemptuously?

If any of these observations apply, you may be dealing with people who suffer from the victim syndrome (Fenichel, 1945; Zur, 1994).

These are people who always complain about the “bad things that happen” in their lives, due to circumstances beyond their control. Nothing feels right to them. Trouble follows them whereever they go.

This is not to suggest that they are making it up. On the contrary, there is always truth in their stories.

Bad things happen to all of us; that’s life. It’s not a rose garden. But there are many different ways of dealing with the difficulties that come our way.

Most of us, when faced with life’s obstacles, do something about them and get on with it.

But people with a victim mentality are incapable of doing so.

Their negative outlook on life transforms every setback into a major drama.

…. Worse, people with a victim mentality are very difficult to handle. they have an extremely fatalistic outlook on life.

Because they believe they have no control over the way events unfold, they have a poor sense of responsibility. Every negative outcome in their life is attributed to people or circumstances beyond their control.

Every effort made to help them, or to present a solution to their predicament, is met by a huge arsenal of reasons why it will not work, some of them quite ingenious.

Bride Passes Out, Vomits and Gets Pooped on During Disaster Wedding

Bride Passes Out, Vomits and Gets Pooped on During Disaster Wedding

(Link): Bride Passes Out, Vomits and Gets Pooped on During Disaster Wedding

by Asia Grace
December 2, 2021

This bride went from blushing to barfing in a matter of seconds.

Wife Hollee Lynnea-Kolenda Darnell unintentionally put her groom’s “in sickness and in health” loyalty to the test when she passed out, puked and got pooped on during their wedding ceremony.

“I kept trying to tell my husband I didn’t feel good and he thought I was joking,” Darnell, 23, captioned a trending TikTok of her mid-marriage medical mishap.

Dutch Pedophile Selling “Therapeutic” Baby Sex Dolls by Anna Slatz

Dutch Pedophile Selling “Therapeutic” Baby Sex Dolls by Anna Slatz

Quick summary of the article:
A pervert (a pedophile, but then, I repeat myself) is selling life-like looking infant dolls with vaginal openings so that grown men pedophiles can order one and have sex with the dolls.

The guy making and selling these infant sex dolls also offers toddler and child sex dolls.

The dolls are discussed and advertised at online pedophile forums. According to this article, some pedophiles participate in a genre of porn called “Nepi,” which focuses on the “rape and torture of babies.”

Unbelievable. There are no words in the English language that can describe the depths of evil and deviancy for this.

(Link): Dutch Pedophile Selling “Therapeutic” Baby Sex Dolls

Excerpts:

by Anna Slatz
Nov 29, 2021

Warning: This report contains disturbing content related to discussions of pedophilia. All photos in this article have been censored by 4W, and information will be passed on to the authorities for their review (see end of article notes for details). Reader discretion is appreciated.

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A Dutch merchant selling sex dolls in the likeness of toddlers and babies is advertising the disturbing items as being “therapeutic for pedophiles,” and hosting forums where sick men – some of whom say they are fathers to young girls – can discuss their fantasies.

Bram Joosten of Bennekom, Netherlands is the first manufacturer and vendor of penetrable baby dolls, operating multiple websites specializing in the sale of sex dolls made to look like infants and toddlers.

Most of Joosten’s sites provide the same merchandise under different brand names, and most are hosted on the Shopify platform, which recently banned a women’s rights activist for selling her crafts under an accusation she was promoting “transphobia.”

LoliDolls, one of Joosten’s main outlets, advertises itself under a banner with smiling cartoon children and text reading “Adopt a Loli, Become a Daddy.”

Convicted Sex Offender on the Run for 20 Years Found Living New Life as Pastor, or “Musical Minister,” in Alabama

Convicted Sex Offender on the Run for 20 Years Found Living New Life as Pastor, or “Musical Minister,” in Alabama

My parents used to tell me as I was growing up that church is a better place for single adults who’d like to marry to go “spouse-hunting” than other places, especially bars or night clubs.

I can see how maybe that was true in the past, but these days, I’m not so sure.

I don’t know or care if this bogus, sex offending pastor or minister mentioned was a “true” Christian or not; the point is, a lot of his church mates assumed he was a real-deal Christian.

So, could you imagine if you are a single, Christian woman, and he was single, you walk into this guy’s church, and you may just assume this guy is safe to date or marry?

Especially for those of you single, Christian ladies who are way too beholden to the “equally yoked” teaching.

If you’re a single, Christian woman who’d like to be married one day, you really need to get rid of the “equally yoked” teaching in regards to whom you choose to date or marry, as it will increase your dating odds if you get rid of following that rule.

If you insist on limiting yourself to dating only self-professed Christian men, you could end up dating or marrying a self-professing Christian man who by all appearances seems to be a devout Christian but who ends up being a child rapist, like the pastor in this news story below.

You may as well ditch that dippy, stupid rule and judge men by their behavior, not by what religion they claim to follow.

(Link): Fugitive sex offender caught working at Alabama church after 20 years on the run

A convicted sex offender who spent 20 years on the lam was busted in Alabama — where he’d been working at a church for a decade, authorities said.

Larry Albert Flake, 75, was nabbed Friday in Birmingham, where FBI officials said he was living under an assumed name, Larry White, and was known to locals as Rev. White, FBI spokesman Paul Daymond told AL.com.

Officials at the Evergreen True House of Prayer Missionary Baptist Church told the outlet Flake was a minister of music and not a pastor.

50-Year-Old Woman Gives Birth to First Child: ‘We Wouldn’t Give Up’

50-Year-Old Woman Gives Birth to First Child: ‘We Wouldn’t Give Up’

(Link): 50-Year-Old Woman Gives Birth to First Child: ‘We Wouldn’t Give Up’

Nov 24, 2021
By Ann W. Schmidt

Susie Troxler always wanted to be a mother. Now, at the age of 50, she is.

Troxler gave birth to her first child, Lily, on Sept. 29 at Cone Memorial Hospital in Greensboro, North Carolina.

“It was so surreal,” Troxler said in a press release from the hospital. “Everything had come together for that moment to happen. It’s hard to wrap our heads around. We’re no longer just husband and wife, we’re ‘mommy’ and ‘daddy.’”

Troxler and her husband Tony, 61, were married in 2008 and tried multiple times to have children at first, naturally. Then, about two years ago, she started in-vitro fertilization treatment and later, egg donation, FOX Television Stations reported.

Fewer Americans See Their Romantic Partners As a Source of Life’s Meaning

Fewer Americans See Their Romantic Partners As a Source of Life’s Meaning

This doesn’t bother me, and it is as it should be.

There’s nothing wrong with marriage or wanting to be married, but, too often times, secular culture, many religions, and in particular, Christian gender complementarians, have made far too much out of marriage, to the degree all these groups make women who never marry, or who marry only past their mid-30s, or who are divorced, feel like they are big, worthless losers.

Some secular conservatives and Christians even run around on their podcasts, tweets, and blogs saying as such – that single or childless adults are selfish or losers.

Complementarians especially are pretty bad about this, because they tend to define “womanhood” as, and to tie a woman’s worth and purpose, to if she marries and has children .

While I am not a supporter of the far left’s anti-nuclear family views, I also don’t agree with how so many Christians have gone the opposite and equally damaging route by advising women that their value or identity resides only in being a wife and a mother – something the Bible does not teach, by the way, but actually says that being single is better than being married (see 1 Cor. 7).

Christians often seem to forget that Jesus of Nazareth never married and never had children – yet Christians shame or exclude adults today who don’t marry and/or who do not have children.

(Link):  Fewer Americans See Their Romantic Partners As a Source of Life’s Meaning

• Pew research found 9% of Americans saw their partner as a source of meaning, down from 20% in 2017.
• Dating during a pandemic is hard, and couples had to confront unhappy relationships in quarantine.
• Paired with the declining birth rate, it seems Americans are finding fulfillment on their own terms.

Some people spend a lifetime looking for their soul mate. But more Americans are finding life’s meaning in other things.

A new report from Pew Research Center that surveyed more than 2,500 Americans found that 9% of respondents cited their spouse or romantic partner as a source of meaning in life.

That’s quite a drop from 2017, when 20% said the same.

Pastor Tells Men: “The Best Person to Rape is Your Wife” by Sarah Einselen

Pastor Tells Men: “The Best Person to Rape is Your Wife” by Sarah Einselen

(Update Below)

Another indication of why single, Christian women especially should never, ever take any type of dating advice by Christians…
Because if Christian pastors are teaching it’s acceptable for married men to rape their wives, you can feel sure in assuming such men and their churches or denominations won’t have YOUR best interests at heart if you are a single woman. 

You – if you are a woman, whether you are married or single – need to look out for you and not expect to get loving, wise counsel from such sexist douche waffles, like this male pastor, who always prioritize the feelings and needs of men above that of women.

Contrary to what this guy is teaching, yes ladies, you are your own; you have a right to have boundaries. Here we go again with patriarchal, complementarian Christian men assuming that Codependent relationship habits for women are “biblical,” though the God of the Bible frowns on Codependent behavior in EITHER biological sex (men or women).

Also, the “equally yoked” rule is bunk. If you’re a single, Christian woman, don’t limit yourself to only dating Christian men – because some of these self-professing Christian men are dirt bags who have no regard for women; you’d be better off dating and marrying an ethical, loving NON-Christian man than a dirt-bag Christian one who thinks it’s acceptable for a husband to rape his own wife.

(Link): Pastor Tells Men: “The Best Person to Rape is Your Wife” by Sarah Einselen

Nov 22, 2021

A New York pastor recently told men in a video clip posted on YouTube that “the best person to rape is your wife.”

The pastor, Dr. Burnett L. Robinson, is senior pastor of (Link): Grand Concourse Seventh-Day Adventist Temple in New York City. And in the clip, Robinson urges womento submit to their husbands and tells them, “In this matter of submission, I want you to know up front, ladies, that once you get married, you are no longer your own. You are your husband’s!”

Robinson then expresses dismay that a woman can sue her husband for rape and states, “I would say to you, gentlemen, the best person to rape is your wife.”

The video was posted by Sarah McDugal, an advocate and abuse recovery coach.

(link to You Tube video: Pastor Promotes Rape & Abuse from the Pulpit)

But the doctrine he preached is common in some fundamentalist evangelical circles, too.

Single at Thanksgiving

Single at Thanksgiving

Several web pages linked to below:

(Link): How to Cope When You Are Alone on Thanksgiving

Excerpts:

by Arlin Cuncic

…Whatever the reason for being alone, there are ways that you can feel less lonely.

Thanksgiving

 Accept Being Alone
Accepting being alone doesn’t necessarily mean staying home and feeling lonely. There are many things that you can do on Thanksgiving that put you in the company of people, or connect you with people, while you are still alone.

Be Productive
Make it a productive day and get your house organized. Clean out closets, get the paperwork in order, make to-do lists, and generally get control of the little details in your life. You will end the day with a feeling of accomplishment, and the ability to focus on your relationships with others because your life is manageable.

Megachurch Pastor Coerced Girls, Women to Have Sex with Him Under Threat of ‘Eternal Damnation’: DOJ by L. Blair

Megachurch Pastor Coerced Girls, Women to Have Sex with Him Under Threat of ‘Eternal Damnation’: DOJ

(Link): Megachurch pastor coerced girls, women to have sex with him under threat of ‘eternal damnation’: DOJ

Excerpts:

by Leonardo Blair

Claiming that sex with him was a “privilege” and “God’s will,” controversial megachurch pastor and founder of the Philippines-based Kingdom of Jesus Christ Church, Apollo Quiboloy, and two of his top administrators have been charged with trafficking young women and girls in the U.S. who were coerced into having sex with him under threats of “eternal damnation.”

…Quiboloy, Dandan and Salinas allegedly recruited girls ranging in age from 12 to 25, to work as personal assistants or “pastorals,” for Quiboloy, the indictment adds.

The victims prepared Quiboloy’s meals, cleaned his residences, gave him massages and were required to have sex with him.

Lundy Bancroft: How to Spot Red Flags When Dating

Lundy Bancroft: How to Spot Red Flags When Dating

(Link): video on You Tube: Lundy Bancroft: How to Spot Red Flags When Dating

Also embedded here:

(Link): Warning Signs Of A Controlling And Abusive Man, According To A Domestic Violence Specialist

Excerpts:

by Gwen Farrell

….All of His Exes Are “Crazy”

…Maybe all of his exes really were “crazy,” but more often than not, this claim points to the fact that this guy doesn’t like taking any blame for any misdeeds or wrongdoing, and if he didn’t own up or take responsibility for his actions in his past relationships, chances are slim he’ll suddenly decide to do so with you.

…He’s Disrespectful to You

If he’s verbally disrespectful, careless with the way he talks to you and about you to others, get the heck out. Psychologist Lundy Bancroft says, “Disrespect is the soil in which abuse grows.

Wedding Photographers Say There are Three Signs that a Marriage Won’t Last

Wedding Photographers Say There are Three Signs that a Marriage Won’t Last

(Link): Wedding Photographers Say There are Three Signs that a Marriage Won’t Last

by Cortney Moore

A wedding photographer is dividing the internet after sharing a marriage longevity theory that says there are three telltale signs on whether a couple will go the distance.

In a TikTok video titled “3 signs a couple may split,” Arkansas-based photographer Shayla Herrington relayed a theory she once heard when she worked with a wedding photographer who had more than a decade of experience.

Men with ‘Golden Penis Syndrome’ Are Ruining Sex and Dating for Women

Men with ‘Golden Penis Syndrome’ Are Ruining Sex and Dating for Women

The following reminds me of an article I linked to months ago, about how single men in conservative religious communities, such as Mormonism and Judaism, know they out-number single women, so they act like entitled, overly demanding jerks towards single women.

(Link):  How ‘Golden Penis Syndrome’ is ruining dating for university women: Deficit of male students means men develop inflated egos and become ‘Casanovas’ who ‘cheat’ – despite a ‘lack of social and sexual skills’

(Link): Men with ‘Golden Penis Syndrome’ Are Ruining Sex and Dating for Women

By Andrew Court
Nov 2, 2021

Beware of the college grad cad!

Men with college degrees have become so cocky that they’re ruining romance for their female counterparts, one “leading expert” alleges.

Just 40.5% of college students in the United States are male, according to the National Student Clearinghouse, meaning they’re in short supply and high demand when dating on campus.

A lack of competition has led these men to develop (Link):  “golden penis syndrome” — an arrogance that stems from the assumption that a steady supply of females will be sexually interested in them.

“Golden penis syndrome” has led these smug males to engage in dastardly dating practices, such as cheating and ghosting, because they’re confident that another woman will always be waiting around the corner.