Inside the Growing Movement of Women Who Wish They’d Never Had Kids by S. Treleaven
Inside the Growing Movement of Women Who Wish They’d Never Had Kids by S. Treleaven
Prayer and The 700 Club – Some Observations and Suggestions
There’s this Christian TV show called “The 700 Club” that comes on Monday through Friday. During the show, the male and female host usually pray for people in the viewing audience, but most often for particular people, not just people in general.
The hosts of this television show will claim that God is speaking to them and telling them who to pray for.
For example, the lady host might say something like,
“There is someone in the audience named Britney. Britney, you have jaw problems. You find it painful to chew your food. I want you to know that God is healing that for you right now, in Jesus’ name!!”
Usually, the male host on the show is Pat Robertson, but sometimes, his son, Gordon is the male host. The female host is either a lady named Terri or a woman named Wendy.
In all my years of watching this show – which has been daily for over ten years – I’ve noticed a few things.
One minor thing I’ve noticed is that whenever Pat mentions a name, it almost always starts with the letter “M.”
For example, Robertson will say,
“There is someone named Mary in the audience who has been praying for a healing…”
Or, the name might be “Marie,” “Marge” or “Margaret.”
Does God have a secret preference for people with names that start with the letter “M” or something?
MOST OFTEN ABOUT PHYSICAL HEALTH OR FINANCIAL PROBLEMS
On a more serious note, it bothers me that about 99% of the time, when the hosts address issues during their prayer time, it’s usually about physical sickness, and if Pat Robertson is the male host, sometimes finances will be mentioned.
Rarely do the hosts address problems people have that do NOT pertain to physical health or finances.
Over 30, Single and Very Content
(Link): Over 30, Single and Very Content
I am over 30 and single. There, I said it! It was tough but phew, it’s out there, now you know. Excuse me whilst I go hide under a rock from shame or embarrassment or both
Taking the Fear and Desperation Out of Online Dating – via The Atlantic
(Link): Taking the Fear and Desperation Out of Online Dating by J. Beck
“In the last decade, [dating sites] marketed to the desperate, to people who were lonely and hopeless,” she [Whitney Wolfe, the founder of the dating app Bumble] said on Wednesday at the Washington Ideas Forum, an event produced by The Aspen Institute and The Atlantic. “Therefore when someone used it they felt this sense of shame or embarrassment.”
… Wolfe said she hoped her app could erase some of those fears for heterosexual women who are online dating; the gimmick of Bumble that separates it from Tinder, Hinge, and the scads of others is that the woman has to send the first message.
Why Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton Aren’t Fighting the Culture Wars by D Linker
(Link): Why Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton Aren’t Fighting the Culture Wars by D Linker
by D. Linker
The most momentous thing about Monday night’s presidential debate wasn’t anything Donald Trump or Hillary Clinton said. It’s what they didn’t say.
Not a word was spoken about abortion, same-sex marriage, religious freedom, “family values,” or any other issue championed by the religious right over the past few decades.
Prudie Counsels a 32-Year-Old Virgin Too Anxious to Go Out with Women.
Mallory Ortberg, aka Dear Prudence, is online weekly to chat live with readers.
Q. 32-year-old virgin:
I’m a 32-year-old straight man and I’ve never been in a relationship with a woman. I can count on one hand the number of dates I’ve been on.
I’ve had many female friends and am perfectly comfortable around women in that context, but as soon as it’s a “date” my anxiety takes over and ruins everything.
Just Because You’re Married, Doesn’t Mean Sexual Temptation Goes Away – Relevant
I’ve been saying this for ages on my blog: being married does not remove sexual temptation or guarantee sexual purity.
All Apostle Paul said in the Bible is that if one burns with lust, one should marry – but Christians often read into that Bible verse that Paul was implying that being married means a person will never sexually sin – which is not what he was saying.
I have (Link): many examples on my blog of married Christian men who have been arrested for, or caught, raping people, fondling children, having affairs, or using pornography.
The tweet for this put out by Relevant magazine was, “Just because you’re married, doesn’t mean sexual temptation goes away” but the headline on the page was:
Singles and newlyweds alike often assume that, after getting hitched, married sex resolves the issue of lust. Personally, that was my assumption before I was married, but lust doesn’t go away even though marital sex may fulfill desire.
Lustful thoughts and glances for someone other than your spouse can still occur after the wedding night, and lust just doesn’t disappear even if you have a healthy marital sex life (as evidenced by pornography and adultery within marriage). And to state the obvious, it isn’t just men who have this issue within marriage.
After being married for two years, I found myself lustfully daydreaming about other men around the same time I discovered that pornography was an issue for my husband.
Long story short, through anger, tears, prayer, support from our church community and the grace of Jesus Christ, pornography isn’t an issue in our relationship anymore. But honestly, that doesn’t mean that lusting after others outside of marriage doesn’t still happen.
(( click here to read the rest ))
(Link): Christian Married Father (Promoted by His Christian Employer as being a Family Values Guy) Sexually Assaulted Boys at Christian Camp, Some During Bible Study, Say News Reports – And He Led Sexual Purity Classes for Kids
Getting Married Is Not an Accomplishment by N. Brooke
Many of the commentators at the bottom of this page written by N. Brooke at “Huffington Post” don’t get it.
Often times, when someone points out how culture makes much too much out of marriage and parenthood, to the detriment of singles or childless and childfree people, married parents take this as being some kind of attack on their lives or lifestyle choices (which it is not), and they get defensive and act offended.
I’ve said many times on this blog that I have nothing against marriage or parenthood per se – my quibble, my problem, is with a culture and church that either ignores those who are NOT married parents, or else insults singles and the childless, and treats them as though they are not “real” grown-ups, or treat them as though they are flawed.
I maintain that women get FAR more pressure to marry and/or have children than men do. Women are judged on the basis of their marital status in a way and level that men are not.
Women are valued by culture ONLY for virtue of being baby-making machines, and/or if they are attached to a man.
Men may face some of this pressure from church or culture, but not anywhere near the level of insanity that women do.
Men have more freedom in our culture to stay bachelors – nobody thinks them pathetic, sad, peculiar, a loser, or a failure if they never marry or never have kids. Not so for women.
I too tire of a culture that makes more a big deal out of weddings than a woman’s non-martial achievements, such as purchasing her own home, or getting a promotion at her job.
Love Does Not Have to Be Romantic or Erotic: Maleficent Movie
Usually, secular culture (including Hollywood) and Christian culture prioritize romantic (or erotic) love.
Jesus Christ taught in the New Testament that his followers are supposed to place him at the center of their lives, with spiritual brothers and sisters taking priority, or at least equal to, their family of origin (read more about that (Link): here).
Christians, however, continue to prioritize biological family or spouse over spiritual family, which alienates the widows, the divorced, and other Christians who are single or who don’t have nuclear families.
Every once in awhile, I come across a movie or television show that “gets it,” which gets that sometimes, friends or friendship means more than “family,” or more than a spouse. Sometimes, you’ll end up alone if you don’t have friends.
Or, sometimes the message presented in entertainment is that family is what you make it – meaning, the friends you choose to associate with, not the family you’re born into.
I’m not opposed to marriage. Part of me would still like to marry eventually, but, I so tire of the culture making the message out to be that the only true, valid form of love is romantic love (i.e., dating or marriage).
I watched the movie “Maleficent” on cable television the other day, and was pleased to see that this story acknowledges that sometimes, “true love” does not come from a Prince Charming, but from one person caring about another one in a platonic way.
My Marriage Broke Down Around Age 30 — And So Did Most of My Friends’ Relationships by E. Woods
I must say I appreciate these articles that show that getting married is not an end-all, be-all to satisfaction in life, one reason of which is that divorce is a reality.
Sometimes, I do wonder about living in a secular culture (and Christian culture) that treats singleness like a failure or second-class status, without taking into account things like divorce, or stuff (Link): like this, where people find themselves single again.
Getting married for the first time when one is age 25 or so is NOT a guarantee that said marriage will last or be a happy one – maybe your spouse turns out to be a serial cheater, or ignores your emotional needs.
We began dropping like flies, one divorce or breakup after another…
Things started out so well. My wedding day was perfect. The sun shone down on the 15th-century castle we’d hired for a hundred guests, even though it was April in Ireland. I wore a silk and lace gown with hundreds of tiny sequins, and I was marrying the man I’d been with for three years.
We’d met working for a charity, and we both cared about trying to make the world better – we imagined ourselves living overseas, and probably having a baby in a year or so. He was straightforward, and kind, and supported me. Surely marriage would be easy… Yet just a year later I was contemplating divorce.
Things seemed to change at our one-year anniversary when we went to Germany for a friend’s wedding.
On that trip I remember wondering: is this all there is? Spending whole days apart on holiday, because I wanted to go to museums and he wanted to shop? Having to beg him to turn off his work emails for a few days? Coming home and not speaking for hours at a time.
At the time, I dismissed these as silly doubts. There was no question of it not working out. And all my friends seemed happily settled too, and my parents and sister had both been married since they were teenagers – I didn’t know how to admit to them marriage wasn’t quite what I’d hoped for. I told myself was just being naïve, expecting everything to be perfect.
But things continued to change. I would lay awake at night and wonder about leaving –where would I live? We owned a beautiful house together and I hadn’t rented in years.
….However, I was amazed when, the year my friends and I all turned thirty, a wave of break-ups began.
Ask Amy: Wife Says She Is Turned Off By Husband’s Fat Body and Muffin Top
I am publishing this to disprove one or two common stereotypes among conservative Christians: that women are not interested in sex, and women are not “visually oriented.”
Here we have an example of a woman who is sexually turned off by the sight of her husband’s obese body and muffin top. Women do in fact pay attention to what men look like and DO CARE about what men look like, though I’d have to say women are a lot less strict and picky about the looks.
Women might be willing to date a “so-so” looking man, so long as he compensates in other areas, like, he treats her really well, or he has a great sense of humor.
But women do notice and care about what men look like, and women can and do get turned off by flabby male bodies, receding hairlines, and so on.
Letter to Ask Amy advice columnist (Sept 2016):
How do I tell the man in my life that his huge muffin top is a turn off for me? He is more than plump, Amy, he is obese.
He blames his diabetes on the fact that he cannot satisfy me sexually, but I maintain that it is his obesity that is the reason he has diabetes.
I do not want to insult him or cause him any embarrassment, but I need to get across to him that he has to lose at least 30 to 40 pounds. Even his daughter gives him grief about his weight.
Please tell me how to talk to him without hurting his feelings.
Pastor Commits Suicide After Accidentally Sexting Photos Meant For Mistress to Church Members
The picture caption said “Wife is away, it’s all yours tonight”.
September 20, 2016 15:14 BST
By Staff Reporter
A South African pastor has killed himself after accidentally sending pictures of his penis to his church WhatsApp group chat
Pastor Letsego, from the Christ Embassy – a Christianmegachurch founded in Nigerian in the 1990s – is believed to have sent the pictures accompanied by the caption: “Wife is away, it’s all yours tonight”, the Daily Post reported.
Letsego, who was married, was allegedly trying to send the pictures to his lover, also a member of the church.
Being Single is Hard by E. Lindsay
This was first brought to my attention by zolemica2 on Twitter. I appreciate her passing this along.
This was certainly a page I related to. The author definitely captures some of the hypocrisy that married people engage in.
(Link): Being Single is Hard by E. Lindsay
…If you’re single, and you complain about being single, you’ll normally get some advice about learning to accept yourself before being able to be with a partner. The current model is work on yourself, “improve” yourself, when you’re alone then when you are sufficiently “un-broken” you will be able to attract a mate.
To admit that you’re unsatisfied being single is almost like an admission that you’re not ready to be in a relationship; if you’re not “complete” when you’re alone, you’re not worthy of a partner.
…[The author took all that advice and took on self-improvement.] But, I don’t think it made me any more datable.
Sex is Holy – by M. Lucado
Sex is holy.
Many people see sex as recreation; in the same league as golf or sailing. God sees sex as a unique portrayal of divine intimacy. “Honor marriage, and guard the sacredness of sexual intimacy between wife and husband.” (Hebrews 13:4 MSG) God is not anti-sex. After all, he invented it! He regards it as a holy act; a portrayal of the relationship he desires with us.
Secular Liberal Author Doesn’t Think A Woman Choosing to Be Celibate is A Form of Feminism – Especially if Motivated in Part by Religious Convictions
This is another one of those posts I didn’t want to write.
Previously, I blogged about this:
This editorial by Bryan, which was originally published on The Washington Post, did not sit well with writer Aimée Lutkin over at left wing feminist site Jezebel. Lutkin spends much of her post summarizing Bryan’s editorial.
Here are excerpts from Lutkin’s piece,
(Link): Purity Culture May Get You What You Want, But That Doesn’t Make It Feminist
Being happy and fulfilled and a woman at the same time does not automatically make one a feminist.
….Considering Bryan’s scholarly pursuits and her immersion in purity culture, it seems likely that her choices are influenced more by her Catholicism than the fight for equality between the sexes.
But hey, if Bryan feels free to disregard the needs of men to pursue goals like learning to scull on the Potomac and working a job she says is the best she’s had in her life, perhaps she has achieved her idea of equality through sexual abstinence.
In a world that frequently feels like it specifically wants to make women miserable, feeling some measure of happiness as an independent woman is a triumph. But although equality is a kind of triumph, triumph is not necessarily equality. Bryan says:
…Personally, my feminist dream definitely includes lots of consensual, joyful, sexual congress outside of marriage, without shame or religious condemnation, but we’re all dreaming a different dream.
Regarding this comment by Lutkin:
But hey, if Bryan feels free to disregard the needs of men…
I’m sorry, but what? Since when is sex a “need,” and who of the female sex cares if men are going without sex? Women are not obligated to give men sex to meet their supposed “need for sex.”
I thought feminists fought against men objectifying women to be used as sex objects? I thought feminists at Jezebel like to say, “Men, we don’t care about your boners.” Now, here we have a feminist writer at Jezebel telling women that they really need to care about men’s boners.
I note that left wing feminists are arrogant enough to think they alone get to determine and define for other women what feminism is.
Ex-Actor Sentenced to Death After Being Found Guilty of Killing Two People to Raise Money for his Wedding
Pretty extreme – killing people to finance your own wedding.
(Link): Daniel Wozniak has been sentenced to death for the murders of his neighbor and his neighbor’s friend, according to a press release from the Orange County district attorney’s office.
Woman Has Abortion Because She Couldn’t Fit Into Her Wedding Dress
Depending on the situation, I may at times attempt to understand WHY a woman had an abortion and even attempt to be compassionate about it. But most abortions take place because the baby conceived was done so via consensual sex. In these cases, I am not generally charitable.
As to the article I link you to below: a woman aborted her kid because she was afraid she wouldn’t be able to fit into her wedding dress later. What a selfish bitch (as are several of the other women mentioned in this article – some of them had abortions for trivial and/or purely selfish reasons).
Contrary to secular, left wing feminists, some of the women mentioned in this article, and/or their choice, should absolutely be “slut shamed” – to the hilt.
(The men who got them pregnant should also be slut shamed, because they are sluts too, and irresponsible ones.)
Some of the women in this article are so cavalier about killing an unborn child – or a blob of tissue that would otherwise turn into a baby – and some are ditzes who are too lazy or sloppy about birth control use.
In All Likelihood, You Are Ruining Sex For Your Lady, by A. Maloney
More than half of men regularly make one mistake in bed that could be ruining their love life.
A new sex survey found that men who bolt the minute sex is over are killing the joy for their partners.
Sexual Morality in a Christless World – Re: Book by M. Rueger
Please note: if my one time stalker John Morgan is still at this blog, don’t be surprised if he sees this post by me and either leaves comments on the blog posts I link to below, or else does a new blog post on his blog mentioning this book. Why do I find this habit of Morgan’s annoying? Please (Link): click here to find out.
Someone did a post or two about a book by M. Rueger called “Sexual Mortality in a Christless World.” Here are a few links about it.
Please note: I do (Link): NOT agree with the “Gift of Celibacy” rhetoric, and it appears the author of this book uses that rhetoric in the book.
There are Christian singles who find themselves celibate not because they WANT to be but because they could not find a spouse. They are “Circumstantially Celibate,” as opposed to being “Deliberately Celibate.” Such celibates were not “gifted with Celibacy” by God, nor were they chosen or foreordained by God to be single and celibate.
(Link): Sexual Progress
(Link): Progressively Regressive Sexuality: A Return to Pagan Morality (on Free Republic)
(Link): Progressively Regressive Sexuality A RETURN TO PAGAN MORALITY (on BreakPoint)
(Link): America’s Progressively Regressive Sexuality: A Return to Pagan Morality (copy on CNS)
(Link): Traditional sexual ethics vs. Christian morality by Gene Veith
And I have some additional comments below this excerpt:
The Rev. Dr. Rueger includes a fascinating treatment of sexual morality in the Greco-Roman world. The wide practice of homosexuality in that classical culture–specifically, pederasty, the sexual use of young boys–is particularly illuminating.
He also treats sexual morality in the ancient Hebrew world, which was not without problems of its own (such as easy divorce). The Christian perspective on sexual morality, he shows, has always been counter-cultural. It took its shape from consideration of our identity in Christ.
He says that those who are hailing a “new” sexual morality that has progressed past “traditional values” have it exactly backwards. The “traditional” sexual morality exemplified in the ancient world was one of promiscuity, homosexuality, pederasty, prostitution, and rape. In contrast, Christianity offers a “new” perspective on sex, one that challenges culture in a way that is truly progressive.
…His approach is not just laying down the Law, insisting on a moralism that no one can live up to.
I will say that this one comment –
His approach is not just laying down the Law, insisting on a moralism that no one can live up to.
-Sets off a red flag for me.
Depending on how the author of that blog post means it, and how that concept the book author uses it, it may be the same spin I see from Christians often – that sexual purity, or celibacy, is an (Link): “heroic feat” that (Link): only a few, who have been gifted by God, can manage. This view (Link): is incorrect.
I’m over 40 years of age, I most certainly have a libido, and it’s sexual self control that has kept me a Virgin this long. It hasn’t been due to prayer; not God’s grace, not purely “faith in Jesus,” and other vaguely spiritual talk that Christians often apply to this topic.
Staying a virgin is based on one’s personal choice; there is no spiritual mumbo-jumbo involved. God did not wave a magic wand over me and remove my sexual desires.
If I can do it (and I’ve done it), anyone can – but most choose not to because they are lazy and lack self discipline.
(Note I am talking about consensual sex here. Too often, anti-sexual purity crusaders like to muddy the water by conflating sexual abuse with consensual, extra-marital sexual behavior.)
(Link): Typical Erroneous Teaching About Adult Celibacy Rears Its Head Again: To Paraphrase Speaker at Ethics and Public Policy Center: Lifelong Celibacy is “heroic ethical standard that is not expected of heteros, so it should not be expected of homosexuals” (ie, it’s supposedly an impossible feat for any human being to achieve)
(Link): Singleness Is Not a Gift
(Link): False Christian Teaching: “Only A Few Are Called to Singleness and Celibacy” or (also false): God’s gifting of singleness is rare – More Accurate: God calls only a few to marriage and God gifts only the rare with the gift of Marriage
(Link): Seven Truths About Marriage You Won’t Hear in Church by F. Powell
(Link): Permissiveness, Cheap Grace, and Easy Forgivism Run Amok in Christianity – Dallas Preacher Todd Wagner Says Christians Can Use Heroin (parallel to topic of sex, celibacy) / Why some Christians turn agnostic
Italy’s Campaign for More Babies is Called Racist and Sexist
After having skimmed this page over, yes, this campaign sounds very sexist and very condescending towards women.
by E. Lyman, Sept 2016
ROME — Italy launched a program Thursday aimed at reversing one of the world’s lowest birthrates, but the first “Fertility Day” initiative produced a backlash with charges of sexism, racism and comparisons to wartime dictator Benito Mussolini.
The Ministry of Health campaign focuses in part on measures to combat sterility, but the notion of encouraging women to think about having children earlier produced the most fire.
One ad, for example, showed a smug pregnant woman holding an hourglass with a tagline that reads, “Beauty doesn’t have an age. Fertility does.” Another showed the outline of a long-beaked bird reading, “Hurry up! Don’t wait for the stork.”
“It’s incredibly condescending to think that Italian women don’t understand how their biological clock works,” said Rebecca Winke, 45, a Chicago native operating a bed and breakfast in the central Italian town of Assisi. “What women here need is the same opportunities men have in the workforce, affordable child care and a generation of Italian men who can do their fair share at home.”