So, Which Is Harder, Marriage or Singleness? (via Relevant magazine)

So, Which Is Harder, Marriage or Singleness? (via Relevant magazine)

The author comes down more on the side of singleness- she believes that singles have life a bit more difficult in the overall scheme of things, since they have to do everything alone.

Some of the comments by the singles in the comments section below are annoying. Some of them are the sort who were single until the age of 29, so they’re like, “Hey man, I know how tough it is to be single, I didn’t marry ’til age 29.”

I’m like, shut up. I’m in my 40s and have never married, my dear. Being still single at age 40+ is not the same as getting married off once you hit age 29, 30 or 35.

Just because you didn’t marry until you were 29 doesn’t make you an expert on what extended singleness is like.

People who marry by their mid-30s who act as though they know how hard or frustrating it is to still be single at 40+ annoy me to no end, and they piss me off.

Then you have your adult singles in the comments on the ‘Relevant’ magazine page whining things like, “Aw jeeze, you make singleness sound so terrible. Speak for yourself, I be lovin’ the single life.”

To those people, I in turn am like, why don’t YOU shut up, because some of us are tired of being single and would like to be married? Great for you if you have reached full peace and contentment in your singleness, but some of us still would like to be married.

Here’s the link:

(Link): So, Which Is Harder, Marriage or Singleness? (via Relevant magazine) by Lizzy Harford

Singleness is often viewed as an undesirable life stage. If you ask anyone in the Church, for the most part, they despair at their single years. Singleness is hard, often lonely and unwanted.

When you’re married, you’re working and living in tandem.

You and your spouse, though separate individuals, are living together, moving along the same path with the same goals. While God is the true source of our comfort and reliance, there is an added feeling of security in marriage that singleness does not have.

…But singles are inevitably going to encounter multiple instabilities not once, not twice, but perhaps numerous times, for as long as they are single and unable to afford living on their own.

Continue reading “So, Which Is Harder, Marriage or Singleness? (via Relevant magazine)”

Why We Should Stop Telling Teens The “Friend Zone” Exists by M. Mercado

Why We Should Stop Telling Teens The “Friend Zone” Exists by M. Mercado

The following comes from a site that appears to be somewhat left wing in nature. As you may recall, I am moderately right wing, so I am not in total agreement with all views and presuppositions on this page, but I’d say I agree with about 98% of the views on this page:

(Link): Why We Should Stop Telling Teens The “Friend Zone” Exists by M. Mercado

Excerpts:

…. The “friend zone” has fallen time and time again under the heading of (Link): “Things I’ve Had Mansplained To Me.” It’s just one of the many complicated ways we’re taught to view relationships between men and women: Men and women (Link): “can’t be friends.” Men and women (Link): “can’t eat dinner alone together.”

It’s worth noting that the phrase “men and women can’t be friends” is often shorthand for “men and women can’t be friends because one of them is going to want to ~*get freaky*~ with the other and that ruins everything.”

…The “friend zone” insinuates that (Link): sex and relationships are transactional. It implies that if you do a certain number of nice favors or just believe yourself to be good, kind person, you are owed something in return. But let’s be very clear about this: Nothing entitles you to sex. Nothing entitles you to a relationship.

Continue reading “Why We Should Stop Telling Teens The “Friend Zone” Exists by M. Mercado”

My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)

My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)

(Link): My parents excluded me when I was single — now they’re doing it to my sister (Ask Amy column)

DEAR AMY: I am a 35-year-old woman. I live in the same town as my parents.

My sister lives nearby. She married young, while I traveled and enjoyed the single life.

My parents spent a lot of time with my sister and her husband. They shared dinners, vacations and holidays. I have generally not been invited or included, as these were “couple things,” though I fail to see how Christmas is a “couples-only” event.

Continue reading “My Parents Excluded Me When I Was Single — Now They’re Doing It to My Sister (Ask Amy Column)”

Woman Wildly Happy She Got Divorced (Dear Abby Column)

Woman Wildly Happy She Got Divorced (Dear Abby Column)

There’s no point in being married if the guy you are married to is inept, self-absorbed, selfish, and/or abusive. Here’s another example of that:

Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: I am writing to share a positive experience I hope will help others. It’s what a relief divorce can be.

I was miserable married to my husband. I used to hear people on the radio talk about their beloved husband or wife, and my heart would twist with regret that I never felt that way.

I spent years almost numb because I was lying to myself about my marriage. I spent years reading books on how to improve our relationship, years going to workshops.

Continue reading “Woman Wildly Happy She Got Divorced (Dear Abby Column)”

Obnoxious, Below- Average- Looking Dude Explains Why He Won’t Date “Hot Women” Any More

Obnoxious, Below- Average- Looking Dude Explains Why He Won’t Date “Hot Women” Any More

I almost forgot to post about this. I saw this story go through my Twitter feed a few days ago, and from there, a lot of people on other sites mocked this guy for his arrogant demeanor.

In all seriousness, the guy quoted is not that good-looking. In my opinion, he’s a little on the homely-looking side, but he seems to feel he’s a real hottie and that hot women find him hot.

I find it amusing that some of the people in this article (men and women) describe themselves as “nines or tens” but they look like “fives” to me (there are photos of some of the people interviewed on the page).

(Link): Obnoxious, Below- Average- Looking Dude Explains Why He Won’t Date “Hot Women” Any More

Excerpts:

When it came to dating in New York as a 30-something executive in private equity, Dan Rochkind had no problem snagging the city’s most beautiful women.

“I could have [anyone] I wanted,” says Rochkind, now 40 and an Upper East Sider with a muscular build and a full head of hair. “I met some nice people, but realistically I went for the hottest girl you could find.”

He spent the better part of his 30s going on up to three dates a week, courting 20-something blond models, but eventually realized that dating the prettiest young things had its drawbacks — he found them flighty, selfish and vapid.

Continue reading “Obnoxious, Below- Average- Looking Dude Explains Why He Won’t Date “Hot Women” Any More”

Charlize Theron, Bella Thorne & More Celebs Who Totally Get the Dating Struggle

Charlize Theron, Bella Thorne & More Celebs Who Totally Get the Dating Struggle

As I said a couple of years ago, even if you, by the world’s standards, are perfect and great dating material – you’re wealthy, famous, successful, and sexy – you are still not guaranteed an easy or great dating life or marriage.

Look at all the celebrities who meet all the criteria that Christian and secular dating advisors tell us we should gain before we are worthy to date, yet who can’t get a date, or they go through one break up after another.

(Link): Charlize Theron, Bella Thorne & More Celebs Who Totally Get the Dating Struggle

Excerpts:

BRITNEY SPEARS (pop singer)

The next time you’re sitting there, trying to find a way to get out of a really awkward, terrible date without being obvious about it, just think to yourself: Britney Spears has to deal with this, too. “I had a really bad date. I mean, it was really bad,” she recently told Marie Claire. “I’ve been single for ages and had a date with a guy I liked. I was getting anxious, worrying he wouldn’t like me.”

Continue reading “Charlize Theron, Bella Thorne & More Celebs Who Totally Get the Dating Struggle”

Regarding Tacky or Inappropriate Christian Themed Jokes, Signs, or Art by Christians or By Non-Christians

Regarding Tacky or Inappropriate Christian Themed Jokes, Signs, or Art by Christians or By Non-Christians

About a week ago, Facebook group owner of SCCL (Stuff Christian Culture Likes) did a post with a photo of a sign celebrating Easter season in front of a church with the words “Nailed It.”

You can view that particular Facebook post (Link): here.

Many in the comments section found the church “Nailed It” sign to be tacky, as did the guy who runs the “Friendly Atheist” blog (see here).

In turn, a Christian guy wrote a post about this whole thing here.

I don’t care for this kind of cheap marketing, either. I think it makes light of the crucifixion of Jesus.

However, there may be a tiny bit of hypocrisy going on here.

Continue reading “Regarding Tacky or Inappropriate Christian Themed Jokes, Signs, or Art by Christians or By Non-Christians”

Teens Too Busy Playing Video Games to Have Sex

Teens Too Busy Playing Video Games to Have Sex

(Link): Teens Too Busy Playing Video Games to Have Sex

Sure, New York City parents still worry about their teens having sex, drinking and smoking — but the kids are far more interested in smartphones and video games like Pokémon and Grand Theft Auto, a new survey has found.

Nearly half of city teens — 45.6 percent — spend at least three hours a day playing their computer or video games, according to the 2015 biennial Youth Risk Behavior Survey conducted by the federal Centers for Disease Control and Prevention.

Continue reading “Teens Too Busy Playing Video Games to Have Sex”

TBN’s New Line Up and Other Changes as of 2017

TBN’s New Line Up and Other Changes as of 2017

I noticed that starting some time around January or Feb. 2017, TBN (Trinity Broadcasting Network – Christian entity), changed its programming a little bit.

They also changed their P.T.L. (“Praise the Lord”) show.

It’s no longer called PTL – they dropped the “TL” and now just call the show “Praise.”

The PTL show used to come on at 4 p.m., and then later around 9 or 10 p.m.

They not only switched up when the “Praise” show airs, but they changed how the show is run, which I am not happy with.

Continue reading “TBN’s New Line Up and Other Changes as of 2017”

‘Deadly Wives’ Reality TV Series – ‘Very Devoted Christian’ Woman Who Held Bible Studies Drowned Her Husband in a Pool of Hydrochloric Acid

‘Deadly Wives’ Reality TV Series – ‘Very Devoted Christian’ Woman Who Held Bible Studies Drowned Her Husband in a Pool of Hydrochloric Acid

As I’ve said many times on this blog, there are times I am glad I have never married. After watching this show a few times, I definitely feel that way.

Here is a link or two about the show:

(Link): Deadly Wives: Acid Lady

(Link): Deadly Wives: Crime and Investigation

(Link): Deadly Wives

(Link): Deadly Wives TV Show

I caught a couple of episodes the other day on LIFEtime channel or whatever it’s called of a reality series called “Deadly Wives.”

Usually, it seems abuse and crimes in marriages are male- on- female, but in this show…

It’s a show about women who murder their husbands, female- on- male violence.

The first episode I saw was about a woman who killed her husband by giving him horse tranq via drops in his mouth from a Visine bottle, then she buried him in a vineyard.

The second episode I saw disturbed me far more than the first.

It was about a woman named Larissa, a chemist, who was married to Tim. She knocked Tim out with chloroform, and when he was only partially knocked out (he may have still been alive), she had a male accomplice named James stuff Tim into a large, blue barrel, where upon she dumped about four gallons of Hydrochloric acid on him.

Continue reading “‘Deadly Wives’ Reality TV Series – ‘Very Devoted Christian’ Woman Who Held Bible Studies Drowned Her Husband in a Pool of Hydrochloric Acid”

2017 Pew Study: Number of U.S. adults cohabiting with a partner continues to rise, especially among those 50 and older

2017 Pew Study: Number of U.S. adults cohabiting with a partner continues to rise, especially among those 50 and older

(Link): 2017 Pew Study: Number of U.S. adults cohabiting with a partner continues to rise, especially among those 50 and older

Excerpt:

As (Link): marriage rates have fallen, the number of U.S. adults in cohabiting relationships has continued to climb, reaching about 18 million in 2016. This is up 29% since 2007, when 14 million adults were cohabiting, according to U.S. Census Bureau data.

Roughly half of cohabiters – those living with an unmarried partner – are younger than 35. But an increasing number of Americans ages 50 and older are in cohabiting relationships, according to a new Pew Research Center analysis of the Current Population Survey. In fact, cohabiters ages 50 and older represented about a quarter (23%) of all cohabiting adults in 2016.

Continue reading “2017 Pew Study: Number of U.S. adults cohabiting with a partner continues to rise, especially among those 50 and older”

Complementarians and Single Women via New Life Blog

Complementarians and Single Women via New Life Blog

(Link):  Complementarians and Single Women – New Life Blog

This is a topic I have blogged on time and again on my blog the past few years – that complementarianism is not truly applicable to never-married, divorced, or widowed or child-free or childless women, such as in this post:

(Link): The Irrelevancy To Single or Childless or Childfree Christian Women of Biblical Gender Complementarian Roles / Biblical Womanhood Teachings

Christian Gender Complementarianism remains fixated with married mothers. They do not give a whit about women who do not marry, who are not married, who may never marry (by choice or by circumstance), or who are not mothers.

Christian Gender Complementarianism is fixated on trying to find apparent Biblical justification to keep married women oppressed, to convince Christian women that their only or best or most “godly” option in life is to marry and have children, and they try to convince women that being equals to men in all aspects – including in marriage and employment – is evil propaganda of liberal, secular feminists.

Complementarianism is also reactionary – it’s a knee-jerk reaction against societal changes that some Christians find threatening; the Bible actually does not teach or support complementarianism.

Continue reading “Complementarians and Single Women via New Life Blog”

Do Millennial Men Want Stay-at-Home Wives?

Do Millennial Men Want Stay-at-Home Wives?

Article via NY times linked to farther below.

Can I just say that wanting something does not make it so, nor does wanting something make it come to pass.

I think it would be cool to be Cleopatra, Queen of Ancient Egypt for a day, but it’s never going to happen.

Our society has changed to the point we’re not going back to 1950s nuclear family demographics.

So, these millennial men can want to live in a traditional, Nuclear Family arrangement, where the man works full time and the wife stays at home all day, but it’s not possible. I keep reading articles about how men today or “prime working age” are unemployed and having a hard time getting careers.

If you want to be a married man with a stay at home wife who has children, you need a big, steady income to do that. And it looks to me like most men today are incapable of pulling that off.

While I realize that other nations are far more sexist and oppressive towards women than the United States, sexism still exists in American culture, including in the workplace.

We have not yet had “enough change” in America in making things a level playing field for girls and women (not in careers and other areas of life), and millennial men (and millennial women) who think things are “already” equal for women in the USA, or “equal enough,” are blind and delusional.

(Link): Do Millennial Men Want Stay-at-Home Wives?

Excerpts:

The political scientist Dan Cassino suggests that the increased support for male leadership in home life among 18- to 25-year-olds may reflect an attempt to compensate for men’s loss of dominance in the work world.

Youths surveyed in 2014 grew up in the shadow of the financial crisis, which accelerated the longstanding erosion of men’s earning power.

Continue reading “Do Millennial Men Want Stay-at-Home Wives?”

Dating, Marriage, Male Entitlement, and ‘My 600 LB Life’ TV Show

Dating, Marriage, Male Entitlement, and ‘My 600 LB Life’ TV Show

This is going to be one of those posts that meanders all over the place.

I’m not really sure where to start.

I’ve been watching a cable TV show called “My 600 LB Life” for over a year now. Aspects of content I see on this show remind me of some of the subjects I blog about on here.

I’m not sure exactly why I watch this show, but I find it riveting, and sometimes horrifying. It’s a reality program. Each show features a real-life person who is 600 or more pounds over-weight.

I do not watch the show to make fun of or laugh at the obese people.

I watch, I suppose, because I am interested in their life stories and what drove them to cope with life’s problems by over-eating to the point they become morbidly obese.

I also tune in to learn medical information about what happens to a body once it gets up to 600 pounds.

I learned from this show that not only does the body get a lot of fat on it (obviously), and the heart has a harder time pumping, but obese people can and do develop all sorts of secondary issues, such as painful bumps, scales, and swelling on their legs (which are referred to as, or the result of, things such as (Link): Cellulitis and (Link): Lymphedema).

The majority of the time, I feel empathy for the obese people on this show.

I am wishing them all the best and hoping they lose the weight and recover and get over whatever childhood horror and pain led them to over-eat (most cases of this show consist of someone who turned to food as comfort after they were neglected, molested, or abused in childhood).

There have been a few cases on this show, such as Steve Assanti, Chuck, and James K., where I have little to no empathy at all, because the person is whiny, ungrateful, abusive, rude, or incredibly self-absorbed.

Continue reading “Dating, Marriage, Male Entitlement, and ‘My 600 LB Life’ TV Show”

The Biggest Threat To Middle-Aged Men: Loneliness (Study)

The Biggest Threat To Middle-Aged Men: Loneliness

(Link):   The biggest health threat facing middle-aged men is loneliness

(Link):   Middle-Aged Men Need More Friends

Men and friendship. By middle age, many have too little of it. And it’s a threat to men’s health.

(Link):   The biggest threat facing middle-age men isn’t smoking or obesity. It’s loneliness.

Excerpts:

As men grow older, they tend to let their friendships lapse. But there’s still time to do something about it.

…The editor told me there was all sorts of evidence out there about how men, as they age, let their close friendships lapse, and that that fact can cause all sorts of problems and have a terrible impact on their health.

…Vivek Murthy, the surgeon general of the United States, has said many times in recent years that the most prevalent health issue in the country is not cancer or heart disease or obesity. It is isolation.

I TURNED 40 IN MAY. I have a wife and two young boys.

..During the week, much of my waking life revolves around work. Or getting ready for work. Or driving to work. Or driving home from work. Or texting my wife to tell her I’m going to be late getting home from work.

Much of everything else revolves around my kids.

…I rarely see those people anywhere outside those environments, because when everything adds up, I have left almost no time for friends. I have structured myself into being a loser.

“YOU SHOULD USE THIS story suggestion as a call to do something about it.”

That’s Dr. Richard S. Schwartz, a Cambridge psychiatrist, and I had reached out to him because he and his wife, Dr. Jacqueline Olds, literally wrote the book on this topic, The Lonely American: Drifting Apart in the Twenty-First Century.

…“Since my wife and I have written about loneliness and social isolation, we see a fair number of people for whom this is a big problem,” Schwartz continues.

Continue reading “The Biggest Threat To Middle-Aged Men: Loneliness (Study)”

Single, Virgin Women Do Not Have Another Standard by Which to Be Saved, Contra Complementarian Group CBMW

Single, Virgin Women Do Not Have Another Standard by Which to Be Saved, Contra Complementarian Group CBMW

The Bible does teach that people should remain virgins until marriage, but oddly, some Christians do things like omit men from this teaching (as though virginity applies only to women).

In this case, they seem to be conflating being single, and a virgin, with receiving salvation, as though there’s some other standard by which others are saved. Christians also frequently make much too much out of the marriage analogy, in which they pretty much seem to suggest that a person has to be married (and having sex) to truly know God or be in relationship with God.

Via the Biblical Personhood blog:

(Link): Is “Biblical” manhood and womanhood compatible with the gospel of Christ?

The Biblical Personhood blog reproduces this quote from a Council for Biblical Manhood and Womanhood resource:

[from complementarian, CBMW, material:]

48. How can a Christian single woman enter into the mystery of Christ and the Church if she never experiences marriage?
[Their answer promotes offering your virginity to God. Nothing about becoming a Christian.] – CBMW, “Fifty Crucial Questions, Question 48

… The mystery of Christ and the church, likewise, is not about marriage or celibacy. Jesus loved you – male or female, single or married or divorced or widowed – first. Know you are loved by God, love God back, experience God’s love, and see how it never ends, and how it changes you to live for Him.

Continue reading “Single, Virgin Women Do Not Have Another Standard by Which to Be Saved, Contra Complementarian Group CBMW”

Why Opposites Rarely Attract by V. Swami

Why Opposites Rarely Attract by V. Swami

(Link): Why Opposites Rarely Attract by V. Swami

Excerpt:

But it’s not just Disney: the idea that opposites attract has completely saturated the film industry – think of the neurotic comedian who falls for the free-spirited singer in Woody Allen’s Annie Hall, for example. In fact, (Link): one study found that almost 80% of us believe in the idea that opposites attract.

But a (Link): new study tracking people’s digital footprints – how they behave online – suggests this isn’t actually true in real life. And it isn’t the first time science has come to that conclusion. For decades, psychologists and sociologists have pointed out that the idea that opposites attract is a (Link): myth.

Continue reading “Why Opposites Rarely Attract by V. Swami”

The Surprising Danger of Being Good at Your Job (The Drawbacks to Being Self Controlled, Competent, and Reliable in Relationships) by R. Sugar

The Surprising Danger of Being Good at Your Job (The Drawbacks to Being Self Controlled, Competent, and Reliable)

Even though this article originally has the word “job” in the headline, it also discusses the impact of being reliable, competent, and self controlled in a person’s dating life, friendships, and so on.

People such as myself who are sexually abstinent into their 40s have a hell of a lot of self control (obviously, I’d say). I’m also pretty disciplined at exercise and dieting and in other areas of life.

I was the reliable, competent one in my relationship with my ex-fiance’, and yes, as a result I was over-worked and grew resentful of that idiot. I ended up carrying more than my fair share of the workload.

I was also reliable on jobs I held in the past, as well as in group assignments I was placed into by college professors to the point that bosses or other team members would over-work me, take me for granted, etc.

I definitely related to this article…

(Link): The Surprising Danger of Being Good at Your Job (The Drawbacks to Being Self Controlled, Competent, and Reliable) by R. Sugar

Science confirms what high performers have known for years: It’s not easy being so competent.

(Link): A study from Duke’s Fuqua School of Business suggests that people with high self-control — the kind of people who remember birthdays, choose the salad instead of the fries, take on extra projects at work, and resolve conflicts easily — might actually pay a price for those virtues.

“People always talk about how having high self-control is a good thing,” says researcher Christy Zhou Koval, a Ph.D. candidate and first author on the study, which was published in this month’s Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. And in many ways, it is a good thing: “Go-getters get what they go after,” she points out. “They’re better at goal pursuits. They make very good relationship partners.”

They’re also better-off financially than their less-disciplined peers; they tend to be in better health, and they generally have higher-quality personal relationships.

But all that comes at a cost: High-self-control people, the researchers found, end up burdened by their own competence.

Continue reading “The Surprising Danger of Being Good at Your Job (The Drawbacks to Being Self Controlled, Competent, and Reliable in Relationships) by R. Sugar”

Dating Sites: In Defense of Ghosting: It’s a Valuable Dating Tool, Not a Problem to Be Fixed by T. Amini

Dating Sites:  In Defense of Ghosting: It’s a Valuable Dating Tool, Not a Problem to Be Fixed by T. Amini

(Link): Dating Sites:  In Defense of Ghosting: It’s a Valuable Dating Tool, Not a Problem to Be Fixed by T. Amini

Ghosting is everywhere, and dating apps (Link): are desperate to put an end to this disappearing act. But ghosting doesn’t need a solution — it is the solution.

If you didn’t already know before plunging into the deep, dark depths that is online dating, you certainly learned quickly thereafter: dating is a numbers game. And when you’re messaging with what turns out to be your third lamest match of the day, ghosting becomes a necessary tool to manage the exhaustion that is mining through the hundreds of (probably boring) people at your fingertips.

…. So when someone doesn’t chat you back, the rejection isn’t necessarily personal. It’s cheesy but it’s true: It’s not you, it’s them. You’re not a fit, and that’s okay.

Continue reading “Dating Sites: In Defense of Ghosting: It’s a Valuable Dating Tool, Not a Problem to Be Fixed by T. Amini”

Single Men So Desperate For Girlfriends They Call Up Random Women

Single Men So Desperate For Girlfriends They Call Up Random Women

Yeah. Good luck with that. I don’t see myself dating some guy who randomly dials me up. Do they not have dating sites or apps in India?

I have a few more comments below these excerpts….

(Link):   Indian men unable to find a girlfriend resort to ringing wrong numbers in hope of striking up a relationship as police report 700 complaints of ‘phone romeos’ each day 

  • Around 680 million Indians have mobile phones and many are lonely hearts
  •  Single men often ring random numbers and try to strike up a conversation 
  •  Victim Geetika Chakravarty, 24, said: ‘I do not know what their mindset is’ 
  •  One gang in Uttar Pradesh sell ‘beautiful’ girls’ numbers for 500 rupees (£6)

by Chris Summers

March 23, 2017

Lonely Indian men are so desperate to find girlfriends they are resorting to calling random phone numbers in the hope of striking up a relationship with a potential future wife.

The ‘phone Romeos’ have become a scourge in India and neighbouring Bangladesh.

Continue reading “Single Men So Desperate For Girlfriends They Call Up Random Women”