Hillsong’s Carl Lentz, Megachurch Pastor Who Ministered Justin Bieber, Fired and Admits Cheating on Wife

Hillsong’s Carl Lentz, Megachurch Pastor Who Ministered Justin Bieber, Fired and Admits Cheating on Wife

Many Christians claim that marriage will keep a person from sexually sinning. Many Christians claim that marriage will make a person more godly, mature, responsible, and ethical and that it is necessary to foster those qualities in a person.

But did being married, and being a parent, keep this guy from cheating on his wife? No. No it did not.

(Link): ‘He told me he wasn’t married’: Designer reveals Justin Bieber’s disgraced pastor Carl Lentz posed as an unmarried sports agent, says it was ‘love not just sex’ and they only broke up last week

(Link): Muslim woman claims she was in a relationship with Carl Lentz, unaware he was a pastor

(Link): Hillsong’s Carl Lentz, megachurch pastor who ministered Justin Bieber, fired and admits cheating on wife

Nob 6, 2020

BY LEANNE ITALIE / AP

Carl Lentz, the celebrity magnet of a pastor who brought the global megachurch Hillsong from Australia to the United States, has been fired, acknowledging on Instagram that he cheated on his wife.

The leader of HillsongNYC, who once ministered to Justin Bieber and a bevy of other celebrities and sports stars, wrote: “When you lead out of an empty place, you make choices that have real consequences. I was unfaithful in my marriage, the most important relationship in my life and held accountable for that.”

Continue reading “Hillsong’s Carl Lentz, Megachurch Pastor Who Ministered Justin Bieber, Fired and Admits Cheating on Wife”

Pastor Quits Church To Become a Stripper and Now Sells X-Rated Pics and Videos Online

Pastor Quits Church To Become a Stripper and Now Sells X-Rated Pics and Videos Online

Before I get to the link about the woman pastor who left pastoring to be a sex kitten on line:

I never, ever want to hear another Christian woman complain on a blog, in a book, a podcast, or on social media that the church “values virginity or sexual abstinence too much,” nor do I need or want to hear any more women talk about how much Christian sexual abstinence pep talks comparing non-virgins to “used chewing gum” made them feel icky.

Because the times have changed.

It’s hard for me to pinpoint exactly when the change happened, but sometime in the last 10 to 20 years, the Christian community stopped supporting sexual abstinence, and they’ve never truly supported adult virgins who remain single over the age of 30.

(They only gave lip service to supporting anyone who is a virgin / celibate, but in practice, they aren’t there for the sexually abstinent; they’re only there to serve the married-with-children people.)

We are living in quite the opposite age now.

The culture has changed. Most people, including Christians and churches, no longer support celibacy and virginity – but rather mock or insult these things. 

In light of the news stories like the one below, or about how, what is it, 70% of (Link): Christian American women comprise abortion seekers, or how up to half or more of the church see (Link):  nothing wrong with unmarried sex, any Christians out there (especially women – it’s usually women, seldom men) who complain that the church emphasizes virginity or sexual purity too much – are quite full of sh*t and have things totally backwards.

The church now openly supports sexual hedonism, and they shame or question adults who remain virgins until marriage.

Are there double standards, sexism, and problems within “Purity Culture” and how sexual purity is taught, or are there problems with the content of it? Yes, certainly.

But none of those issues suddenly excuse extra-marital sex as being fine and dandy.  And the Bible does not support extra-marital diddling.

You can criticize some of the excesses, sexism, or weirdness of Purity Culture and its teachings without completely tossing aside the principles of sexual propriety or without criticizing, shaming, or mocking those adults who are still virgins or celibate.

A word of warning: I am an (Link): ex-complementarian. But as someone who realized complementarianism was false and abandoned it, I did not become a liberal or embrace sexual hedonism as a result.

I disagree with this woman’s lifestyle who is mentioned below. Rejecting complementarianism does not automatically or necessarily turn a woman into a liberal, feminist, bimbo harlot.

I’m putting this warning in here, because the article mentions the woman in the article became a stripper after joining a church that was more egalitarian in regards to gender roles.

I would imagine a lot of complementarians would see that part of the article and say, or reason to themselves, “A-ha, this is what happens when a woman rejects Christian gender complementarianism!” – but alas, no, it is not.

Again, I rejected complementarianism many years ago, but I did not turn into a sexual hedonist or a bi-sexual stripper.

Another warning: If you’re a Christian, stop assuming that the reason why some leave the Christian faith is because they want to live in sexual hedonism.

Some people leave the faith not to indulge in sexual sin, which is a common and false assumption a lot of Christians have, but due to other reasons, ones having nothing to do with sexual sins, or going after some goal or dream in life that may be considered incompatible with the Bible.

People do have legitimate reasons for questioning the faith, ones that don’t have to do with wanting to be kinky. 

There may be some people for whom wanting to be lascivious is one (or a main) motive in leaving the faith, but that is not true for all.

Additional comments by me are below this:

(Link): Pastor Quits Church To Become a Stripper and Now Sells X-Rated Pics and Videos Online 

Nikole Mitchell, a mum-of-three, said she has always wanted to become an erotic dancer but she was brought up in a strict Christian family which put a damper on her dreams

by L. King

She has now come out as bisexual and carved a new career as a stripper, model and erotic dancer.

Continue reading “Pastor Quits Church To Become a Stripper and Now Sells X-Rated Pics and Videos Online”

Marriage-Pushing Zealot Wilcox Suggests that Being Single is Immoral: National Review Article

Marriage-Pushing Zealot Wilcox Suggests that Being Single is Immoral: National Review Article

I’ve written about Wilcox many times before. Wilcox is obsessed with marriage and advocating for it, and in the process, he enjoys insulting singleness and adult singles, although the Bible states in 1 Corinthians 7 it is better to remain single than to marry, and of course, as we all know, Jesus of Nazareth, who is highly regarded by many, never married.

Jesus remained single and celibate and never formed his own “nuclear family,” because he was more concerned with establishing a spiritual family, and he taught his followers to be just as, if not, (Link): more concerned with spiritual family than with biological family.

But marriage-idolaters and singles-shamers, such as Wilcox and Al Mohler, continue to promote marriage far too much, and they tend to do so consistently at the detriment of singles.

Allow me to first provide a few excerpts from the National Review piece by Wilcox, then I will explain the flaws with some of the points below the excerpt:

(Link):  Private Schools Outpace Public Schools in Putting Kids on the Path to Marriage

Excerpts:

By W. BRADFORD WILCOX , PATRICK WOLF & PEYTON ROTH
Sept 2020

There’s more to a quality education than academics; good schools give students a healthy moral environment that appears to shape their future family life.

… Different kinds of schools, with different moral ecologies, set our children up for success or failure in areas of life outside of the classroom. Chief among these is family life.

We know that men and women who forge strong and stable marriages are generally happier, healthier, and more prosperous. [Note from blog owner: this is a repeated but false claim across marriage-hyping articles; please see (Link): this post for refutations]

Continue reading “Marriage-Pushing Zealot Wilcox Suggests that Being Single is Immoral: National Review Article”

People Are Happier Spending Time With Their Friends Than With Their Families, Study Finds

People Are Happier Spending Time With Their Friends Than With Their Families, Study Finds

If marriage-idolater and single-adult-shamer Bradford Wilcox, of “National Marriage Project” and “Institute of Family Studies” gets wind of this, I fully expect him to try to refute it by saying that married people are happier spending time with their spouses.

Wilcox, Al Mohler, and other marriage-obsessed anti-singleness bigots don’t care about truth – they care about pushing their pro-marriage agenda at all costs.

(Link): People Are Happier Spending Time With Their Friends Than With Their Families, Study Finds 

People are happier when they are with their friends than with their partner or children, a study has found

More than 400 volunteers were asked to rank how much they enjoyed a recent moment with their friends and family

Continue reading “People Are Happier Spending Time With Their Friends Than With Their Families, Study Finds”

Deep Friendships and Other Asexual Connections Can Feel Romantic, Even Without The Sex. Here’s Why. by R. C. Savin-Williams

Deep Friendships and Other Asexual Connections Can Feel Romantic, Even Without The Sex. Here’s Why. by Ritch C Savin-Williams Ph.D.

(Link): Deep Friendships and Other Asexual Connections Can Feel Romantic, Even Without The Sex. Here’s Why.

Research demonstrates that sexual and romantic desire are not necessarily linked
Posted Aug 19, 2020

A sexologist argued a decade ago that “sexual interest is necessary for the development of romantic feelings.” Many appear to agree.

By contrast, if he had argued the reverse—that romantic feelings are necessary for the development of sexual desire and behavior—no one would have believed him.

….Romantic Asexuals vs. Aromantic Asexuals

An exception is recent research by Amy Antonsen and colleagues who combined data from seven previous studies to net over four thousand asexual participants.

Continue reading “Deep Friendships and Other Asexual Connections Can Feel Romantic, Even Without The Sex. Here’s Why. by R. C. Savin-Williams”

Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)

Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships by A. Kumar (2020)

I am not surprised. This is actually similar to another survey I saw a few years ago, and I may have covered it here on this blog (I don’t remember).

It’s disappointing, frustrating and bewildering how so many Christians are not only living in sexual sin – and sex prior to marriage is in fact sin – but that they think it’s just fine. 

The Bible does speak against fornication, and even if it is not or was not mentioned specifically (as some like to argue), it was still the societal expectation – it didn’t need to be stated specifically in the Bible, since it was already understood in the culture the Bible came from, that God was not okay with people having sex outside of marriage.

There are not, that I can recall, any Bible verses specifically condemning infanticide, child molesting, or bank robbing, but that does not mean that the Bible is okay with any of those behaviors.

I think a case can be made against those behaviors – and against fornication – by pointing to other biblical principles.

In light of the fact that Christians (Link): don’t even make a pretense at living by sexual ethics as taught in the Bible, or in defending them these days, I really do not need to see another Christian woman on another blog or on social media saying how harmful “purity culture” teachings were to women (depending on the context of their arguments. Are some facets of Christian purity culture sexist against women? Yes – but that does not negate that fornication remains a sin).

The pendulum regarding sexual behavior and attitudes held by Christians has now swung too far in the other direction – to pure hedonism and “don’t judge me, I’ll have sex with whomever and whenever I want to.”

And folks like me who actually “walked the walk” and did not have sex outside of marriage are shamed for it, or insulted for it, by Christians and conservative groups (see more about that under “Related Posts” at the bottom of this page).

(Link): Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)

Excerpts:

by A. Kumar
September 2020

Half of Christians say sex between consenting adults who are in a committed dating relationship is sometimes or always acceptable, and over half — with the exception of evangelical Protestants — say casual sex is OK, according to a survey by the Pew Research Center.

Some 62% of Catholics, 56% of Protestants in the historically black tradition, 54% of mainline Protestants, and 36% of evangelical Protestants say casual sex between consenting adults is sometimes or always acceptable, according to the survey.

Among those who are religiously unaffiliated, as many as 84% say

Continue reading “Half of U.S. Christians Say Sex is Sometimes, Always OK in Dating Relationships (2020)”

The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men

The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men & That Women Are Oblivious To, or Don’t Care About, What Men Look Like

I am an ex-complementarian (yes, I am, read more about that (Link): here if you so choose).

I’m very aware of what complementarians teach and believe on many topics.

Many complementarians wrongly believe that women lack sexual drive, an interest in sex, and that women don’t care about what men look like.

Complementarians operate in this very strange worldview that only men are “visual.” The Bible does not teach that God created men to be visual or to have more of a sex drive than women, but Complementarians act as though it does. These views permeate their blogs, pod casts, books, sermons, and so on.

So, under complementarian teachings, women are often shamed and scolded about their physical appearance.

I’ve seldom heard complementarians tell male listeners or male readers to join a gym, work out, and get in shape so that they will be physically and visually appealing to women.

(Edit, Side Note:
Complementarians seem to assume that all single women are only interested in a man’s bank account. No, we’re not.

But there’s nothing wrong with wanting to marry a guy who has a steady job, steady pay check, who is financially responsible.

I was engaged to a man who took financial advantage of me for years. Most women I know were dating or married to men who refused to get jobs, so the women had to earn a pay check.

These women’s husbands would sit about the house all day in their underpants playing Playstation video games or watching sports.

I’ve never personally run across too many female gold diggers in my time, only one – the rest of the gold diggers I’ve met or known personally have been MEN who were leeching off their wives or girlfriends.

At any rate, complementarians wrongly assume that all women are obsessed with  looking for a husband or boyfriend with a very large income or expensive sports car, so they are always telling us women to “stop judging a man by his income or what kind of car he drives, and instead, focus on how much he loves Jesus.”

Well, I hate to break it to you complementarians, but some us ladies are busy checking out if the guy has great abs and muscular arms or not – we aren’t as obsessed with his credit score, car, or savings and investments as you may assume.)

No, the sexist complementarians reserve that rhetoric for women.

But women do notice and care about what men look like, as I’ve blogged about years ago in a series of posts, such as (Link): this one or (Link): this one.

(Even the (Link): Bible mentions women noticing hot looking men and getting turned on by them, but per usual, complementarians ignore or do not mention parts of the Bible that don’t fit their backwards views.)

All of that brings me to this…

The other day, I was scrolling down my Twitter page and saw this headline from The Daily Mail:

(Link): ‘Erotic weight gainer’ who tips the scales at 500lbs reveals he eats 10,000 calories a day to maintain his ‘ball gut’ and keep his OnlyFans followers entertained

Here are some excerpts:

A 500lb OnlyFans influencer who found a lucrative niche within the fat fetish community has revealed he has to eat around 10,000 calories a day to maintain his ‘ball gut’ and keep his followers entertained.

Continue reading “The Obese, Overly Hairy ‘Erotic Eater’ Guy Should Be The Final Nail in the Coffin of Sexist Complementarian Teachings that Looks Matter Only To Men”

Husband Admits Having Sex With Chickens Three Times While His Wife Filmed It

Husband Admits Having Sex With Chickens Three Times While His Wife Filmed It

Let’s reflect on how news stories such as this one (I also have a blog post about a news story about a married man who has sexual intercourse with his pet horse, and his wife knows about it), demonstrates the falsehoods of teachings and opinions about marriage by Southern Baptist Al Mohler, other marriage-idolating Christians, and secular pro-marriage think tanks, such as Bradford Wilcox and his “National Marriage Project” group….

First of all. That this man is married to a human woman and yet also having sex with chickens goes to show that God does not grant marriage as a reward or gift to those who reach some level of maturity or godliness
(yes, this is a common teaching among Christians in much of their dating and marriage material I read while a teen and in my 20s – and I still sometimes see this same view even now, in the past few years.
Such Christian material suggests if you’re not married by some age or the other, it’s because God is intentionally with-holding a spouse from you, until you mature more, or become more godly, or more “whatever.”)

Secondly, marriage obviously did not make this man more mature, godly, or responsible than someone who doesn’t marry.

I’ve never married but would never have sex with an animal – it’s a form of animal abuse, it’s gross, and in this situation, a grown human man’s penis in an orifice of a much smaller being (including chickens or human infants – yes, some grown men have been known to rape infants) can physically injure or even KILL the recipient.

There is NOTHING about marriage that forces or causes everyone to suddenly become more loving, ethical, mature, godly, or responsible. Being married sure didn’t keep the guy in this story from being an animal abuser and a pervert, after all.

Also contrary to some guy who dropped by this blog of mine years ago – the Bible teaches that when people engage in sexual sin, their offense is not just hurting the person (or animal) they are molesting, but they are degrading THEMSELVES in the process.

I’d rather stay single than marry a man who has sex with animals.

(Link): Husband Admits Having Sex With Chickens Three Times While His Wife Filmed It

by John Davies

August 2020

Rehan Baig and his wife Haleema appeared at Bradford Crown Court, where he admitted to a series of disturbing offences involving animals

Rehan Baig, 37, appeared at Bradford Crown Court with his wife Haleema, also 37, on Friday.

Continue reading “Husband Admits Having Sex With Chickens Three Times While His Wife Filmed It”

Married Couple (Man, Woman) Rape and Murder Eight Year Old Girl

Married Couple (Man, Woman) Rape and Murder Eight Year Old Girl

I am not opposed to marriage, but I am in strong disagreement with the many conservative persons or groups who keep arguing that marriage is necessary to make people godly, loving, ethical, or responsible.

The Bible, first of all, does not teach that concept at all (it actually says per 1 Cor 7 that the state of singleness is preferable to marriage).

Secondly, as the many examples on my blog show of married couples who rape and murder each other or other people, there is nothing about marriage that manifests good, moral behavior in those who are married

(Link): A little girl’s last moments: Russian child, eight, who ran away from her parents following an argument is raped and killed ‘after she was picked up in a car by a married couple’

Excerpts:

July 10, 2020

An eight-year-old Russian girl who ran away from home following an argument with her parents was raped and killed after being picked up by a married couple in their car, Russian police have said.

More than 500 people volunteered to search for missing Vika Teplyakova after she was seen in for a final time in CCTV footage walking alone along a road. 

Continue reading “Married Couple (Man, Woman) Rape and Murder Eight Year Old Girl”

Study Finds Women Are Less Likely to Date Men Who Pose With Cats in Their Dating Profiles​

Study Finds Women Are Less Likely to Date Men Who Pose With Cats in Their Dating Profiles​

(Link): Single men with cats less likely to find love on dating apps, study finds 

(Link): Study Finds Women Are Less Likely to Date Men Who Pose With Cats in Their Dating Profiles​

“Men holding cats were viewed as less masculine; more neurotic, agreeable, and open; and less dateable,” the authors of the study wrote

By Claudia Harmata
June 22, 2020 03:55 PM

A new study conducted by researchers at Colorado State University has found that women are less likely to swipe right on men if they’re posing with a cat in their dating profiles.

The researchers showed a total of 708 women — aged between 18 and 24 — photos of two men, both posed in two separate photos. One showed them with a cat and the other had them posed without one.

Continue reading “Study Finds Women Are Less Likely to Date Men Who Pose With Cats in Their Dating Profiles​”

Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Single women get slammed with the reverse stereotype as what this author  describes about unmarried men in this editorial: we’re (single women) all expected to be really maternal, even if we find babies and children annoying and weird and prefer the company of adults only. 

I have other posts on my blog with articles about the negative stereotypes that culture and married people have about singles – and ones that pertain to single women.

For example, some restaurants with bars (Link): forbid single women from sitting at the bar, because the management insultingly assumes any woman sitting alone at the bar is a prostitute (I am not joking). See the links under “Related Posts” at the bottom of this page for more such unfortunate examples.

(Link): Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Excerpts:

The widespread mockery and suspicion of Gaetz’s relationship with Nestor isn’t just due to the congressman’s personality, however; it reflects sexist assumptions about parenthood.

Continue reading “Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi”

A Table For One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)

A Table For One: Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)

The author was also offering a free (yes, free – and it’s totally legal) download or copy of her book about singleness (a book which I have not read; I may do so later).

I did listen to the interview she gave for the podcast linked to here:

(Link): A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time
^ Podcast on that Page

Why are you still single?

This question is often asked of single women, especially those who are deemed by loved ones or friends to be too old to be single.

In her newest book, A Table for One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time(Manchester University Press, 2017), Kinneret Lahad analyzes this undertheorized aspect of the gendered experience.

Singlehood is inextricably linked to a post-structural analysis of time: not only are single women judged on their single status based on how old they are, but Lahad argues that being single often ages women at a faster rate in the eyes of others.

Continue reading “A Table For One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)”

Coronavirus: Even Married People With Children Die All Alone

Coronavirus: Even Married People With Children Die All Alone

There have been several news reports over the last two or three months reporting about how so many people – especially elderly people – are dying all alone due to Covid-19 (Coronavirus), whether they are dying in hospitals or nursing homes.

Due to wanting to contain the virus, medical facilities are not permitting family (if any) of the dying Covid patient to visit their sick loved one. So, a lot of people – even married parents! – are dying alone. (Links with examples to follow.)

I bring this up because one scare tactic I’ve seen used off and on by marriage-promoters, such as Southern Baptist Al Mohler and others, is to tell single and childless adults that we will die all alone, unless we marry and have children. They tell childless, never married adults like myself to be very afraid, because unless I marry and have a child, I will be all alone on my death bed.

Well, my mother – who was married and had adult children – died all alone in the wee hours at a care facility she was staying at. Despite the fact my mother was married with kids did not guarantee that she had the “Norman Rockwell” death so many marriage-pushers suggest one will have, where one will be surrounded by loving spouse holding their hand while adult children surround the bed tenderly looking on.

People dying all alone sans children and spouse (if they are married with kids) has definitely been a thing since the start of Covid 19.

Here are links about the situation, including a link or two from marriage-pushing, conservative sites such as The Federalist:

(Link): ‘Patients dying alone’: The frightening reality of many COVID-19 patients’ final moments  (March 2020)

(Link): ‘I’m Sorry I Can’t Kiss You’—Coronavirus Victims Are Dying Alone

(Link): Coronavirus Patients Are Dying Alone, Leaving Loved Ones With Grief And Guilt

It was the last time Beaudette saw her father alive. He died two days later, and she couldn’t be there.

(Link):  Loneliness and suffering in the hospital during the coronavirus crisis

“I’m already downstairs, doctor. Can I see my mother just for five minutes?”

I told him that I would ask the nursing manager; given the fact that Mrs. A couldn’t speak or understand, perhaps that would fall under the list of reasons why an exception could be made.

But five minutes later, the nurse was on the phone trying to calm him down. “I just want to be there for five minutes to tell her why I can’t visit anymore, that she shouldn’t worry when I stop showing up!”

The nurse tears up as she says that he cannot visit. She turns to me, and I motion that I would take back the call.

Continue reading “Coronavirus: Even Married People With Children Die All Alone”

No Surprise There: Bradford Wilcox Deems Married People Better Off During Pandemic Than Single Adults – Rebuttals

No Surprise There: Bradford Wilcox Deems Married People Better Off During Pandemic Than Single Adults – Rebuttals

I have made several blog posts in years past discussing some of Bradford Wilcox’s articles about marriage for various publications.

Wilcox works for, is somehow affiliated with, organizations such as the National Marriage Project and Institute For Family Studies. He is very much about promoting marriage, natalism, and the nuclear family.

In years past, he has promoted marriage and all the rest at the expense of singleness: he loves to advance marriage by stigmatizing singleness.

Wilcox (and guys like him, such as Southern Baptist Al Mohler) likes to try to “scare” single adults into getting married by publishing faulty and fear-mongering essays about how studies (which he sometimes misquotes or misunderstands) supposedly say that singles are more likely to suffer this or that calamity or problem than are married people.

Any time Wilcox comments on any issue, you can guarantee before you click on the headline that his editorial will say that married people have X better than singles have X.

It doesn’t matter if he’s talking about financial issues – like in the link that follows – or some other topic.

His pieces are all heavily agenda-driven: to make marriage look fabulous by slamming singleness, or by making singleness look “worse” than marriage, or by making singleness look unsafe, scary, or miserable.

Continue reading “No Surprise There: Bradford Wilcox Deems Married People Better Off During Pandemic Than Single Adults – Rebuttals”

Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will? by Anonymous via Sheila Wray Gregoire

Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will? by Anonymous via Sheila Wray Gregoire

A few weeks ago, Sheila Wray Gregorie, who maintains a Christian martial advice blog, shared (Link): this on twitter.

A woman who runs yet another blog (called (Link): “True Love Dates”) featured a post by a single adult woman who I guess posted under a pen name, or as anonymous.

This single woman explained in her comment that, no, it’s not God’s will for all single women to be single, and for so many Christians to keep mouthing this assumption or repeating it in their sermons, books, or blogs is hurtful and discouraging to some single women who’d like to be married but who have not met the right person.

I too have done several posts over the years attempting to correct some of the wrong, hurtful, or insensitive teachings and attitudes that a lot of Christians have about singleness –
– such as, (Link): God told you to marry your spouse;
or, it’s (Link): God’s will for most to marry;
or that (Link): single adults exist only to serve married couples;
or that (Link): unwanted and protracted singleness is a “gift” God bestows upon some. (There are so many Christian fallacies about singleness.)

Here is the featured content for this post, and I agree that Christians need to stop saying that singleness (especially unwanted protracted singleness) is “God’s will.”

(Link): Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will?

Excerpts:

[by Sheila Wray Gregoire]

If you’ve never been married, does that mean that it was always God’s will that you would be single?

I think we talk about that a lot–that people are “called to singleness”, as if God decides before you were born, “Oh, I’m going to make sure that Jennifer doesn’t get married,” or “I’d prefer Stacey never meet the man of her dreams.”

Now, I do believe that God puts on some people’s hearts to be single, and to dedicate their life to a singular purpose to serve Him, in which singleness is necessary.

But I don’t think that’s the majority of people who are single.

Continue reading “Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will? by Anonymous via Sheila Wray Gregoire”

Valentine’s Day Messaging For Singles: Empowering Or Exploitative? by Grace Stearns

Valentine’s Day Messaging For Singles: Empowering Or Exploitative? by G.  Stearns

(Link): Valentine’s Day Messaging For Singles: Empowering Or Exploitative? by G.  Stearns

Excerpts:

Single people are finally getting the attention they deserve from marketers — but are brands exploiting a culture of singles shaming that they helped create?

For decades, Valentine’s Day has offered burnt out marketers the sweet relief of a turnkey campaign: a few animated hearts, a flirty pink font, and sultry copy pull on heartstrings (and guilty consciences) until sweethearts around the world are rushing out to buy overpriced cards and chocolates.

But in recent years, a different side of the Valentine’s Day marketing cycle has emerged: rebellious taglines and “treat yo’self” campaigns targeted directly at single people, encouraging them to eschew tradition and celebrate themselves on the international day of love.

While it may seem, at first glance, like a good thing that marketers are finally speaking to everyone (not just those that are blissfully in love), this movement warrants a bit of healthy skepticism.

Let’s unpack this new trend.

Continue reading “Valentine’s Day Messaging For Singles: Empowering Or Exploitative? by Grace Stearns”

Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

I have been blogging about this topic, and ones pertaining to it, for several years now. It’s no mystery to me why women have been leaving the church in droves the last ten or more years.

(If you’d like to see just a few of my posts explaining why the Christian faith, or more specifically, churches, are a huge turn-off to single women, please see some of the links to my other blog posts below in this post, under the “Related Posts” heading.)

However, most Christians only obsess over smaller numbers of MEN leaving church; they don’t seem to either notice or to care that single women have been dropping out as well.

One of the few things this article highlights is that the “equally yoked” rule is a waste of time for women of faith who’d like to be married.

If you are a Christian woman, and you’d like to marry, it is vital you give up a hope or strict rule of marrying only a Christian man – otherwise, you are more than likely to remain single.

Secondly, and obviously, too many churches have made marriage and parenthood into idols and benchmarks of adulthood, so that any woman who doesn’t marry or have kids is ignored or viewed and treated like a child. That needs to change. Single women should be valued and recognized in their singleness. 

I can also see how gender complementarianism (traditional gender roles) are also keeping these Christian women from getting married: they have internalized the idea that being anything other than the Christian gender complementarian woman (i.e., a passive doormat) hinders them from getting a husband, and worse yet, some of the men they’ve met in church actually do feel that way.

Christians need to toss out the regressive stereotypes (which are snuck into Christian teaching under heretical gender complementarian teachings) if they are truly concerned about declining marriage rates and would like to actually help marriage-minded single women to get married.

Not all women naturally fit into the gender complementarian ideal, which means they may not get married, if everyone insists all women must be gender comp to merit marriage. (The Bible does not hold up women being passive or being gender complementarian to merit a husband; it is church members who promote this false view.)

(Link): Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

Excerpts:

…. It turns out that in both countries, single Christian women are leaving churches at increasingly high rates. In the UK, one study showed that single women are the most likely group to leave Christianity.

In the US, the numbers tell a similar story.

Of course, there is a distinction between leaving church and leaving Christianity, and these studies do not make the difference clear.

Regardless, leaving – whether it be your congregation or your faith — is a difficult decision. Women stand to lose their friends, their sense of identity, their community and, in some cases, even their family. And yet, many are doing it anyway.

What or who is driving them out?

Continue reading “Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini”

Divorce Rate Spikes Across China After ‘Couples Spend Too Much Time Together During Coronavirus Home Quarantine’

Divorce Rate Spikes Across China After ‘Couples Spend Too Much Time Together During Coronavirus Home Quarantine’

I guess marriage is not all it’s cracked up to be, and conservative groups and Christians are wrong to keep teaching that marriage is necessary to save society or make people more loving, ethical, or responsible, LOL!

(Link): Divorce Rate Spikes Across China After ‘Couples Spend Too Much Time Together During Coronavirus Home Quarantine’

by Emilia Jiang
March 13, 2020

Divorce rates in China have risen significantly because ‘couples are spending too much time together at home’ during coronavirus self-isolation, according to register offices across the country.

Over 300 couples have scheduled appointments to get a divorce since February 24, said Lu Shijun, the manager of a marriage registry in Dazhou, Sichuan Province of south-western China.

Officials believe the sharp increase of divorce requests could be caused by the fact that partners have spent too much time in close quarters under quarantine.

Continue reading “Divorce Rate Spikes Across China After ‘Couples Spend Too Much Time Together During Coronavirus Home Quarantine’”

Married Couple Raped Their Own Kids During “Swinger” Sessions Where They Allowed Pedophiles To Rape Their Kids Too

Married Couple Raped Their Own Kids During “Swinger” Sessions Where They Allowed Pedophiles To Rape Their Kids Too

A lot of secular conservatives who run pro-marriage, pro-nuclear family groups, and a lot of conservative Christians, such as Al Mohler, often like to release editorials, blog posts, or podcasts arguing that people need to be married with children, because, they maintain, only marriage and parenting can save society, and both are supposedly necessary to make a person more godly, mature, responsible and ethical.

Such conservative groups disparage singleness and the state of being childless.

Now, I happen to be a conservative myself, but I realize that the Bible doesn’t teach that the Nuclear Family will save society, or that God frowns upon singleness (the Bible states quite the opposite in 1 Corinthians 7).

I’m not even opposed to marriage, the nuclear family, or to parenthood, but I am in total opposition of conservatives who have turned any of those things into idols (which most of them have done), and who also disparage singleness or adult singles (or the childless or childfree) in the process (which they do frequently).

Here is yet another example on my blog (I have (Link): many more elsewhere on this blog) demonstrating that being a married parent does not ensure character or morality in a person:

(Link): Evil paedo couple raped their own kids, 3 and 5, during horrific ‘swinger’ sex abuse sessions with predators

March 3, 2020
by April Roach

AN EVIL couple who drugged their own children and forced them to take part in ‘swinger’ sex abuse sessions with paedos have been handed a record jail sentence.

Continue reading “Married Couple Raped Their Own Kids During “Swinger” Sessions Where They Allowed Pedophiles To Rape Their Kids Too”

Killer Dad Yanked Son’s Teeth Out With Pliers, Gave Him Coal For Christmas and Raped Him To Death With Stick

Killer Dad Yanked Son’s Teeth Out With Pliers, Gave Him Coal For Christmas and Raped Him To Death With Stick

Why I am posting a news article about a man who raped his own eight year old son to death with a stick (link is way below):

Conservative Christians today, including but not limited to Al Mohler, and secular conservative secular groups that promote marriage and the family – such as Bradford Wilcox’s “National Marriage Project” and “Institute for Family Studies” keep promoting a false view of marriage, parenthood, and the nuclear family: they all keep insisting that marriage, parenthood, and the Nuclear Family are all necessary to somehow improve culture, or to make people mature, godly, or responsible.

But I have many examples on this blog going back years of married people who are parents, who are in a nuclear family, who have been arrested for child porn, raping their own children, beating their wives, etc.

One can turn to the pages of the Bible and read about the families who sinned. King David was married with children, but he raped and indirectly had a man murdered. That’s but one example.

There is nothing, nothing, nothing about the Nuclear Family, marriage, or parenthood that makes people “better.”

The Bible may say marriage is permissible and children are a blessing, but it nowhere argues that everyone should get married and be in a nuclear family, or that God prescribes marriage and parenthood as a means of “fixing” or improving people or culture.

Here’s yet another example of how being married and a parent did not make a person more godly, loving, mature, or responsible:

(Link): Killer Dad Yanked Son’s Teeth Out With Pliers, Gave Him Coal For Christmas and Raped Him To Death With Stick

March 2020

by D. Cinone

A DAD accused of killing his son allegedly yanked the boy’s teeth out with pliers, gave him coal for Christmas and raped him to death with stick.

The boy’s parents – Mauricio Alejandro Torres, 50, and Cathy Torres, 48 – allegedly beat their son Maurice ‘Isaiah’ Torres with cables and shoes, a jury heard Monday.

Six-year-old Isaiah reportedly died of septic shock after being horrifically violated during a camping trip in March 2015 [the boy was raped by his father with a stick over eating a piece of cake].

Continue reading “Killer Dad Yanked Son’s Teeth Out With Pliers, Gave Him Coal For Christmas and Raped Him To Death With Stick”