Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

Review of common motiffs covered on this blog:

-Complementarianism (Christian patriarchy / male headship) is sexist trash and doesn’t produce “godly” men (actually, men under comp take advantage of women and hold women responsible for the sins of men);
-marriage does not make people more “godly” or responsible than singleness; and,
-God does not grant spouses to perfect people only (if God did so, the depraved idiot in this following news story, who fondled his own kids would not have gotten a spouse).

(Link): Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family

By Stoyan Zaimov , Christian Post Reporter | Apr 17, 2018 9:50 AM

Jessica Willis Fisher, the 26-year-old daughter of The Willis Clan patriarch Toby, has revealed that she suffered decades of sex abuse, beatings, and manipulation at the hands of her father.

The Willis Clan, originally made up of a Christian family of 14 from Nashville, Tennessee, shot to fame through season 9 of “America’s Got Talent.” They were also featured in “The Willis Family” TV series on TLC between 2015 and 2016, before Toby Willis was arrested on charges of child rape.

Continue reading “Toby Willis’ Daughter Jessica Reveals Decades of Sex Abuse, Beatings, Secrets in Christian Family”

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Father, Son of Texas Baptist Church Both Arrested for Raping Teens, Sexual Assault of Children – So Much for Marriage Making People More Mature and Godly

Father, Son of Texas Baptist Church Both Arrested for Raping Teens, Sexual Assault of Children – So Much for Marriage Making People More Mature and Godly

But I thought that the nuclear family was supposed to erase all sin, including rape and child abuse, and that Male Headship under Complementarianism and Parenthood and Marriage made people more godly, loving, and ethical, as some Christians teach?

Here we have an another example where none of that is true (my Twitter friend ymmarta passed this along to me):

(Link): Father, Son of Texas Baptist Church Both Arrested for Raping Teens, Sexual Assault of Children

And why should any single Christian woman who desires marriage bother sticking to the “Equally Yoked” rule when so many Christian men – even ones who work in and for churches!! – are perverts? It makes no sense.

And why do so many Christians keep telling singles who desire marriage that they won’t get a spouse until they become more spiritual, more mature, more holy, or more “whatever?” If God permitted these teen-raping perverts to have a spouse, why not a law-abiding single adult?

Continue reading “Father, Son of Texas Baptist Church Both Arrested for Raping Teens, Sexual Assault of Children – So Much for Marriage Making People More Mature and Godly”

After Threatening Suicide, Pastor Ronnie Gorton (Married to a Woman and a Father) Indicted on 47 Charges of Sexually Assaulting Boys

After Threatening Suicide, Pastor Ronnie Gorton (Married to a Woman and a Father) Indicted on 47 Charges of Sexually Assaulting Boys – Ditch the Equally Yoked Teaching, Christian Single Women!

I believe the article, which is linked to much farther below in this post, says that this child- raping pastor is married to a woman, and he and the woman have two or three of their own children.

Once more, contrary to what many to most conservative Christians and conservative think tanks teach, marriage does not make people more godly, loving, or mature. Being married to a woman did not stop this guy in this article from sexually assaulting boys.

Once more, the “equally yoked” teaching as applied to dating and marriage is detrimental and irrelevant: if you are a single Christian woman, you need to get past this mindset of “I can only date or marry another Christian” because many Christian men will abuse you, or they turn out to be perverts.

Continue reading “After Threatening Suicide, Pastor Ronnie Gorton (Married to a Woman and a Father) Indicted on 47 Charges of Sexually Assaulting Boys”

Disgusting, Creepy, Married Pervert Youth Pastor Exulted When Girl He was Bedding Turned 18 and ‘Legal’: Cops – Another Example of Why Equally Yoked Teaching is a Waste of Time

Disgusting, Creepy, Married Pervert Youth Pastor Exulted When Girl He was Bedding Turned 18 and ‘Legal’: Cops – Another Example of Why Equally Yoked Teaching is a Waste of Time

This guy was married and raping teen aged girls he met by way of his youth pastor job at a church.

First of all, contrary to what many conservative Christian leaders (such as Al Mohler) teach, marriage does not make anyone more godly, loving, ethical. You either have character and morals, or you do not.

Wearing a gold band on one’s finger, standing in front of a judge or preacher and reciting wedding vows, does not magically instill good character into a person.

Secondly, “equally yoked” is a heap of nonsense. So many perverts masquerade as Christians, or claim to be Christian, I honestly feel if you are a single Christian woman who desires marriage, you’re better off ditching the Equally Yoked rule.

I’d rather be married to, say, an Atheist Non-Raping man than a church-going, self professing Christian Rapist.

And to think my parents told me often when I was a kid that if I wanted to be married to seek a spouse at a church! BAH HA HA HA HAAA, I don’t think so.

In the several years I’ve been running this blog, I’ve seen (Link): far too many of these news stories of Christian men (some who even work as preachers!) who are arrested for rape or child molesting to be able to convince me that “equally yoked” is a wise, good, “biblical” or advantageous philosophy for single women.

(Link):  Youth pastor exulted when girl he was bedding turned 18 and ‘legal’: cops

Excerpts:

by J. Miller, March 2018

A youth pastor in Colorado had a sexual relationship with a high school senior — and gave the teen a card on her 18th birthday that read, “We’re legal,” according to an arrest affidavit.

Joshua Clemons, a former pastor at Cross Roads Community Church in Parker, was arrested Tuesday by Denver police on suspicion of sexual assault on a child by a person in a position of trust. He also faces two of the same counts in Douglas County, police in Parker (Link): told the Denver Post.

Continue reading “Disgusting, Creepy, Married Pervert Youth Pastor Exulted When Girl He was Bedding Turned 18 and ‘Legal’: Cops – Another Example of Why Equally Yoked Teaching is a Waste of Time”

Volleyball Coach Raped Six Girls ‘Hundreds’ of Times While Wife Bullied Victims, Lawsuit Claims

Volleyball Coach Raped Six Girls ‘Hundreds’ of Times While Wife Bullied Victims, Lawsuit Claims

The “most powerful coach in youth volleyball” assaulted some victims multiple times while his wife threatened victims through their volleyball club, the suit claims. 

I first saw this headline by way of Amy Smith’s (Watchkeep’s) Twitter feed.

As I told Amy below her Tweet about this article:

Not only is this guy a deviant sicko, but he’s a MARRIED deviant sicko whose wife enabled this & victimized the victims? And Christian guys like #AlMohler & #BradfordWilcox keep saying marriage makes people more godly, ethical, responsible, etc

Marriage does not make anyone more godly, loving, ethical. You either have character and morals, or you do not.

Wearing a gold band on one’s finger, standing in front of a judge or preacher and reciting wedding vows, does not magically instill good character into a person.

(Link): Volleyball Coach Raped Six Girls ‘Hundreds’ of Times While Wife Bullied Victims, Lawsuit Claims

Excerpts:

The “most powerful coach in youth volleyball” assaulted some victims multiple times while his wife threatened victims through their volleyball club, the suit claims.

article by Olivia Messer

“Because I can.”

When one of Rick Butler’s young victims first asked why he was assaulting her, that was his answer, according to a new bombshell class-action lawsuit filed against the coach.

…Butler was for years considered “most powerful coach in youth volleyball,” according to the 72-page complaint, which alleges that he used his position to rape at least six underage girls “hundreds” of times.

Continue reading “Volleyball Coach Raped Six Girls ‘Hundreds’ of Times While Wife Bullied Victims, Lawsuit Claims”

Is Early Marriage Really THAT Counter-Cultural? I Think Not – Re: Christianity Today Editorial by Rebecca Brewster Stevenson

Is Early Marriage Really THAT Counter-Cultural? I Think Not – Re: Christianity Today Editorial by Rebecca Brewster Stevenson

So, I saw this headline from Christianity Today.

This seems to be an annual thing with Christians.

At least once a year, I see a major Christian magazine or blog publish some kind of article lamenting the declining marriage rates, or the rising age of first marriage, and that also push the idea that people should marry before they hit the ripe old age of 22.

Here we go again. Yet another one. (There will probably be another one in 2019, and one in the year after that, and so on and so forth.)

I notice that often times that the people who write these types of articles admit to having married pre-age 25.

I take it that the REAL motivation is that these people feel defensive about their life choice – they feel as though culture is “looking down their noses” at them for marrying young because most people today are not marrying at all, or not until they get to age 30.

The thing is, though, nobody cares that they married when they were 21! These sorts of articles are largely unnecessary.

If anything, the opposite type of editorial is needed, because authors like this one shame or judge people for not marrying young, or for not marrying at all. Christians continue to push marriage and baby-making as the “norm,” when the Bible does no such thing.

I will excerpt the editorial then comment on it below:

(Link): Why I’m Happy My Son Married at 20

Excerpts from that editorial:

In a world of hookups and cohabitation, he took a leap— and made an act— of faith.

by REBECCA BREWSTER STEVENSON

…Then in 2013, the Knot Yet Report revealed that those averages are higher still: Couples now are postponing marriage to age 29 for men and 27 for women.

Continue reading “Is Early Marriage Really THAT Counter-Cultural? I Think Not – Re: Christianity Today Editorial by Rebecca Brewster Stevenson”

Wife Chops Off Husband’s Penis and Testicles and Flushes Them Down Toilet

Wife Chops Off Husband’s Penis and Testicles and Flushes Them Down Toilet

(Link): Wife Chops Off Husband’s Penis and Testicles and Flushes Them Down Toilet

Feb 21, 2018

A woman in India allegedly chopped off her husband’s penis and testicles after accusing him of cheating on her.

Continue reading “Wife Chops Off Husband’s Penis and Testicles and Flushes Them Down Toilet”

Ed Stetzer’s Marriage Article on Christianity Today and C. Allen’s Response

Ed Stetzer’s Marriage Article on Christianity Today and C. Allen’ s Response

Christianity Today magazine (Link): tweeted about an article about marriage by Ed Stetzer.

I have written about another Stetzer piece before, this one:

(Link): Hey Ed Stetzer: Opposite Gender Friendships Are Not Sinful

Ed Stetzer’s Advice: “Avoid Any Hint” – More Like: Re enforce UnBiblical Stereotypes About Men, Women, Sex, and Singles

The CT piece I am (Link): referring to in this post is entitled
“Love & Marriage… Go Together Like… A Few Comments on the Covenantal Practice Today ”
with a sub-heading of,
“Marriage is a created good, is not a ‘must,’ isn’t easy.”

Before I could click on and read the Twitter-based link to the CT piece by Stetzer, I saw a set of Tweets below by someone named C. Allen, who I presume is a woman (though Allen could be a man – I’ll just say for the sake of this post that Allen is a woman).

The link to the main tweet is (Link): here, and if you scroll down, you can see the responses by C. Allen.

Before even reading the actual page by Stetzer, C. Allen’s take on it on Twitter was all I needed to know. (I read the Stetzer page later.)

I replied to Allen, telling her I completely agreed with the comments she Tweeted below the CT Tweet.

Here is Allen’s (Link): first comment in that Twitter thread:

In that entire article, only about two brief paragraphs were dedicated to Christian singleness. The rest was lamenting the degradation of the marital institution and reiterating with the same old words why marriage is important. And people wonder why singles feel disenfranchised.
/// end

Continue reading “Ed Stetzer’s Marriage Article on Christianity Today and C. Allen’s Response”

It’s Better To Be Single, According To Science by Erin Brodwin

(Link): It’s Better To Be Single, According To Science by Erin Brodwin

Excerpts:

  • Being single has a handful of benefits, scientific research has found.
  • Studies suggest that single people tend to have stronger social networks and develop more as individuals.
  • They even tend to be physically fitter.

Being single has a handful of benefits, scientific research has found. Alone time is one of them.

Single people are more likely to not only embrace solitude, but benefit from it, recent studies have suggested.

Bella DePaulo, a psychologist at the University of California Santa Barbara, advocates the single life and travels the nation to present these findings, which she says are too often dismissed by the larger psychology community.

In a TEDx Talk she gave last spring, she called (Link): living single her “happily ever after.”

Studies suggest she’s onto something.

Continue reading “It’s Better To Be Single, According To Science by Erin Brodwin”

California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

Here we go yet again. Conservatives, both Christian and secular, believe and promote untruths and falsehoods that marriage will make people more mature and empathetic and that marriage is so much better for society than people remaining single.

I have been a conservative going back to my teen years, and I heard all the pro-Family Values rhetoric all the time, rhetoric which generally includes bashing singleness or insulting single adults for being single.

Frequently, conservatives will blame liberals or feminism for “ruining” society and they will prescribe marriage and having children as “the cure”, but I sure as heck do not see traditional values, church, Christianity, The Nuclear Family, Family Values, or marriage or parenthood making society any better.

Married people are not more sexually pure than single adults. Many times, conservatives incorrectly assume that being married will cause a decrease in a person sexually sinning, and that all to most single adults are “horn dogs” who lack sexual self control.

Christians will sometimes teach that if you are a single adult who’d like to marry that you, the single, must meet some kind of spiritual standard or else God will not allow you to marry, that God will not “reward you with” a spouse.

Christians will teach singles that it is sinful to marry outside the Christian faith. They often based this on a verse or two that mentions being equally yoked, and the assumption seems to be that a Christian who marries a Non-Christian will “veer off course” and become a non-believer too or live a life of sin.

Here we have a news story of two Christians married to each other, one worked as a church pastor no less, but they are both a couple of perverts.

Being married did not keep this couple from sexually sinning. Being married did not make this couple more mature, responsible, godly, and God apparently did not mind rewarding both of these deviants with a spouse, because he permitted them to marry each other.

Lastly, I would rather marry an atheist who is not a pervert than be “equally yoked” to a self professing Christian man like the pastor in this story who sexually preyed on women congregants.

(Link): California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit

Jan 19, 2018

by Travis Gettys

A former parishioner sued a California church and its former pastors — who she accused of sexual assault, battery and harassment.

The woman, a mother of two in her 30s, sued former Church for Life pastors Robert Litzinger and Cindy Litzinger seeking compensatory and punitive damages, reported the (Link): Santa Maria Times.

Continue reading “California Pastor Used Church to ‘Satisfy His Fetish’ For Explicit Photos – and His Wife Helped: Lawsuit”

Six New Things Researchers Found Out About Single People in 2017 by B. DePaulo

Six New Things Researchers Found Out About Single People in 2017 by B. DePaulo

(Link): Six New Things Researchers Found Out About Single People in 2017 by B. DePaulo

Excerpts:

… The ensuing decades have done little to dissuade social scientists of their certainty that single people were doing themselves a disservice. Until now. In 2017, it was that conviction that got wrecked.

As a psychologist, I study single people – their lives, their happiness, the stigma they face – and I can say that this has been a banner year for the publication of massive studies challenging what we thought we knew about their supposedly inferior life voyages.

New insights just kept coming: on sex and dating, on self-esteem, on what it means to be an adult. And they came just in time: In recent history, there have never been as many unmarried adults as there are right now. Here are a half dozen of the coolest discoveries about single people from the year 2017.

Demographically, single people are more powerful than ever before.
In 2017, the Census Bureau reported that a record number of adults in the U.S. were not married.

More than 110 million residents were divorced or widowed or had always been single; that’s more than 45 percent of all Americans aged 18 or older.

And people who did marry were taking longer than ever to get there. The median age of first marriage rose to 29.5 for men; for women, it reached 27.4. (These trends are likely to continue: A report from the Pew Research Center a few years ago predicted that by the time today’s young adults reach the age of 50, about one in four of them will have been single all their life.)

Continue reading “Six New Things Researchers Found Out About Single People in 2017 by B. DePaulo”

Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison

Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison

Observe how conservative Christian propaganda about marriage v. singleness is not true: marriage does not make people more godly, mature, or responsible. Single adults are not all out there engaging in sex trafficking or obstructing justice.

Just look, look at what marriage produces: adults who sell people as sex slaves and then lie to the police about it.

And don’t count on dating or marrying Christian men only – a lot of them are into things like having sex with (raping) teen kids and selling them into sex trafficking. You’d be better off dating nice atheist, Hindu, or Jewish boys who would never even think about raping kids or selling them into sex rings.

(Link): Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison by Leonard Blair

Excerpts:

Weeks after she was fired from her job as administrator in Lucas County, Ohio, former “first lady” of Abundant Life Ministries in Toledo Laura Lloyd-Jenkins has now joined her husband, the Rev. Cordell Jenkins, behind bars for allegedly obstructing a sex trafficking investigation against him.

An ABC 13 report said Lloyd-Jenkins could now face a maximum prison sentence of up to 28 years if she is found guilty of one count of obstructing a sex trafficking investigation along with one count of making a false statement.

…She pled not guilty to the charges against her when she appeared in court last Friday but was remanded in custody by Judge Jack Zouhary. Authorities allege that Lloyd-Jenkins, 43, notified a defendant of the pending investigation in March, then made false statements to law enforcement about her knowledge of the conduct alleged in the April indictment.

The former administrator and her husband were once partners in faith at Abundant Life Ministries until April 7 when Rev. Jenkins, 46, and Rev. Anthony Haynes, 38, were arrested by the FBI for sex trafficking of children.

Continue reading “Wife of Pastor Jailed for Sex Trafficking Arrested for Obstruction, Could Face 28 Years in Prison”

Let’s Rethink Sex by C. Emba

I agreed with much of this editorial by Emba (posted much farther below) and don’t have a problem with it.

I’m a right winger. Imagine my surprise a while back when I was visiting a right wing political blog on which one of the blog owners criticized this editorial by Emba.

From what I can recall, the conservative author found Emba’s cry for the public to take sex more seriously and not sleep around so much, to be unrealistic or too stuffy, too… whatever.

I was appalled that a conservative author on a conservative site (the same author has claimed in previous blog posts on other topics to be a Christian) would be attacking a well-reasoned editorial pointing out that perhaps the avalanche of sexual harassment stories we’ve all been seeing in the media in the realms of Hollywood, sports, politics and more, can be due to people having an “anything goes” mentality towards sex. I agree with her.

Before seeing this editorial a few weeks ago, I was thinking of writing one similar to it myself (and still may).

I would fully expect the majority of liberals out there – especially the feminists – to mock the notion of being chaste or more deliberate about when, if, where, and with whom to have sex, but a conservative? (Liberal feminists (Link): have already done so before, as a matter of fact.)

Maybe I should not be surprised.

I’ve been posting stories to this blog off and on for around the last seven years, and I’ve seen several instances of conservative Christians who have a “meh, who cares, it’s just fornication, go ahead and do it, sex is no biggie” attitude that one would expect to see from some Non-Christians or from liberal feminists.

But the conservatives and Christians go along with this sort of thinking as well.

Continue reading “Let’s Rethink Sex by C. Emba”

A Married, Pro- Family Values, Conservative Judge and Southern Baptist, Paul Pressler, Allegedly Raped, Molested Teen Boy for Years

The following content appears on the page:

Pressler is a leader in the “conservative resurgence” in the Southern Baptist Convention, which seeks to push back against perceived liberal influence in the Baptist church.

A-ha.

I’m not a liberal (I’m a conservative), but do I ever get disgusted by this sort of thing, where someone who is right wing, or who is a Baptist, or other type of Christian, who beats up on liberals for lacking “Family Values,” later turns out to be a huge, hypocritical pervert or sexist himself, angers and annoys me.

I had to go to the cached version of this web page, because the normal, live site is not pulling up the page:

(Link):  Former Texas state judge and lawmaker Paul Pressler has been hit with a lawsuit that alleges he molested a man over the course of 35 years.

Excerpts:

Pressler, a former justice on the 14th Court of Appeals, who served in the Texas House from 1957 to 1959, vehemently denied the allegations by Gareld Duane Rollins, who claims that Pressler began molesting him in 1979, when he was 14, through the year 2014.

Continue reading “A Married, Pro- Family Values, Conservative Judge and Southern Baptist, Paul Pressler, Allegedly Raped, Molested Teen Boy for Years”

A Response to the Editorial “America Needs a New Sexual Revolution” by Melissa Mackenzie

A Response to the Editorial “America Needs a New Sexual Revolution” by Melissa Mackenzie

I guess Ms. Mackenzie drank from the Gender Complementarian Kool-Aid, or something like it.

The complementarian world is a world in which one is taught there are only two options concerning women (I know this because (Link): I used to be one myself for many years):

-either be and live as a traditional values person who believes all women are, or should be, passive, dainty, and delicate and should marry young and have children,
or,
-be and live as a bra-burning, man-hating, liberal feminist.

I present a third option, which is hated by some liberals (when I bring it to their attention), and it’s an option that is never even considered by other conservatives, which is as follows:
I am a right wing woman who rejects sexism, and finds fault in both the left and right wing on some women’s issues, but who also sees some merit to some arguments on either side, depending on the topic.

In this blog post, I am commenting upon this editorial on The American Spectator:

 (Link): America Needs a New Sexual Revolution by Melissa Mackenzie

A foundation of the opening of this editorial rests upon a presupposition that, and to paraphrase my understanding of the author’s perspective:

“Everything that is wrong today in regards to culture, sex, marriage, dating, and women, is liberal, secular, FEMINISM, and feminism is EVIL! One can directly trace the downfall of American sexual morality to the feminism of the 1960s!!”

Such thinking is a common trope in about every right wing publication I’ve ever read on these subjects.

To that point, about feminism supposedly being to blame for all of society’s marital or sexual problems, I would ask you to read this off-site post, which is by a Christian (not by a left wing, secular feminist):

(Link): Perhaps Feminism Is Not The Enemy

What I will do here is provide excerpts by MacKenzie then, under her comments, offer my thoughts.

MacKenzie writes (source again):

There’s a coarsening of relationships between men and women, parents and children, and people with each other.

// end MacKenzie quotes ///

I don’t think secular, left wing feminism was the start of the “coarsening of relationships between men and women” but is a response to it.

One can read the Old Testament of the Bible, which dates back several thousand years, to see men raping their own sisters, owning harems of women (in some cases, women having no choice but to be in a harem, or to be a concubine), and men committing adultery. There was no 1960s, American- style feminism around in Biblical days.

Continue reading “A Response to the Editorial “America Needs a New Sexual Revolution” by Melissa Mackenzie”

Christian School Teacher, Father of 2 Charged With 140 Counts of Sexual Abuse

Christian School Teacher, Father of 2 Charged With 140 Counts of Sexual Abuse

A lot of Christian defense for marriage I’ve heard and seen over my life time consists of this notion that marriage (and parenthood) are necessary to make a person more mature, godly, responsible, and loving.

Adult singleness is assumed to be, or taught by, many social conservatives and Christians to be a  horrible suspended state of immaturity.

I’ve yet to see any of the Christians and conservatives who espouse these views  about singleness and marriage (such as Bradford Wilcox or Al Mohler) explain all these examples I have on my blog (like the one below) of married people and/or parents who engage in immoral acts.

Also note how irrelevant the Christian “Equally Yoked” rule becomes – all these supposed Christian men turn out to be child molesters and rapists.

(Link): Christian School Teacher, Father of 2 Charged With 140 Counts of Sexual Abuse

A fifth grade teacher and father of two who was recently fired from the Sioux Center Christian School in Iowa has been charged with 140 counts of sexual abuse involving multiple children, all under the age of 14.

The teacher, Curtis Van Dam, 35, was arrested last Wednesday, according to a KSFY report. His crimes allegedly occurred between 2013 and last month when he was exposed. Now, the entire Sioux Center community is reeling in shock.

(Link): Christian School Teacher, Father of 2 Charged With 140 Counts of Sexual Abuse

A quick glance at Curtis Van Dam’s Facebook page shows pictures of what appears to be a loving father of two—a family man who works hard teaching elementary school children at Sioux Center Christian School in Iowa.

A “God-fearing” man who now stands accused of raping or sexually assaulting multiple children dating back as far as 2013.

Continue reading “Christian School Teacher, Father of 2 Charged With 140 Counts of Sexual Abuse”

Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

Secular culture would have you believe that men care about looks in women, while women supposedly only care about money or emotional support from a man, and to that I say: FALSE.

Christians, specifically, Christian gender complementarians, ratchet this up to really emphasize the point.

I’ve heard or seen so many male Christian complementarians (and occasionally, a few women complementarians) hype up this supposed idea that God created men to be “visual,” so they will shame and badger women to stay skinny, diet, exercise, and wear make-up all the time.

The truth is, women are every bit as “visual” as men are. Most hetero women dig a hot, sexy man every bit as much as some hetero men appreciate a hot, sexy woman.

However, complementarians will seldom lecture or advise men to lose weight, go to the gym and work out, or get a toupee if they’re balding.

I think the differences is that most women are willing to cut men slack where as the reverse is not true.

I mean, a woman may prefer a hot, studly looking man, but, if you’re tubby, bald, or sort of ugly she might still be willing to date you if you bring “something else to the table” – such as a lot of money, a steady income, a great sense of humor, intelligence, dependability, or what have you.

I think most women are more wiling to take trade-offs in the “looks” and sex appeal department than most men are.

Other than that, most of both sexes prefer people who are easy on the eyes, but this sexist, irritating stereotype that only men care about looks and only women care about romance (or emotions) persists.

Here is an example of a woman who is turned off by her male partner’s baldness:

(Link): Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest

DEAR ABBY:
My physical attraction to my boyfriend has significantly diminished due to his baldness.

I know this may seem shallow, but I have lost all interest in intimate contact with him.

Continue reading “Dear Abby: As Boyfriend Loses Hair, I Lose Interest”

Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo

Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo

Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo

Excerpts:

The power of marriage to transform allegedly forlorn single people into blissfully happy and healthy couples is not just the stuff of fairy tales. For more than 70 years, social scientists’ studies havesupposedly shown that marrying improves people’s wellness. Award-winning scholars and leading magazines have all proclaimed that marriage typically makes people healthier and happier.

The promise is seductive: Find and marry that one special someone and all your dreams will come true.

Recently, though, new and methodologically sophisticated studies have been published that suggest something startling: Maybe we are wrong about the benefits of marriage. People who marry, it seems, do not become healthier than when they were single, and may even become a shade less healthy.

They do not become lastingly happier, either.

Continue reading “Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo”

Why Happy People Cheat – A good marriage is no guarantee against infidelity. by E. Perel

Why Happy People Cheat – A good marriage is no guarantee against infidelity. by E. Perel

(Link): Why Happy People Cheat – A good marriage is no guarantee against infidelity. by E. Perel

…Strange as it may seem, affairs have a lot to teach us about marriage—what we expect, what we think we want, and what we feel entitled to. They reveal our personal and cultural attitudes about love, lust, and commitment—attitudes that have changed dramatically over the past 100 years.

….Affairs are not what they used to be because marriage is not what it used to be. For much of history, and in many parts of the world today, marriage was a pragmatic alliance that ensured economic stability and social cohesion.

Continue reading “Why Happy People Cheat – A good marriage is no guarantee against infidelity. by E. Perel”

Jeff The Married Church Attending Guy Who Likes to Wear Diapers and Be an Adult Baby

Jeff The Married Church Attending Guy Who Likes to Wear Diapers and Be an Adult Baby

Because you may think I am making this up (I can assure you I am not), there is a video below in this post from a clip of this episode.

I don’t hardly ever watch the TV show “Cheaters,” but I was up really early a few mornings ago and watched the last 5 – 10 minutes of one episode.

The husband in the episode (I believe his name was Jeff) was sneaking around with another woman behind his wife’s back. The “Cheaters” TV show crew caught him in bed with another woman, and he was wearing a diaper.

His wife, Susan, came in to the motel room, confronted the “mistress” (or whatever she was) and started screaming at Jeff her husband.

Jeff claimed there was nothing sexual going on, it was only about him pretending to be an adult baby.

Continue reading “Jeff The Married Church Attending Guy Who Likes to Wear Diapers and Be an Adult Baby”