Pat Robertson Basically Tells Woman Married to Lazy, Dead Beet, Idiot, Jerk-Face Man That Her Only Option is Separation (Not Divorce)

(The 700 Club episode I am discussing in this post: Air date Feb 21, 2017)

Women of America are STILL writing Pat Robertson for relationship advice. A phenomenon which prompted me to write this months ago:

(Link):  Women: Stop Asking Pat Robertson For Romantic Relationship Advice – Whether You Are Divorced or Single 

For the love of pickles, people of America, stop sending this guy your questions about dating, love, marriage, and divorce! Anyway.

Regarding the first letter on the video: Contra Pat Robertson, the Bible does NOT teach that the “husband is the head of the household.”

Don’t believe me? Then please check out the resources at (Link): this site, (Link): this site, or (Link): this site

But I am writing this post in regards to the second or third letter on this video (embedded below; Link to Video, You Tube).

Additional commentary by me is below this letter:

[Dear Pat]

My husband and I have been married for 21 years but have been together for 28.

We have two children, ages 26 and 25. Our 25 year old son is autistic and mentally disabled and needs constant care.

I alone care for our son.

My husband does not work or help in anyway. I struggle to make ends meet.

Continue reading “Pat Robertson Basically Tells Woman Married to Lazy, Dead Beet, Idiot, Jerk-Face Man That Her Only Option is Separation (Not Divorce)”

Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest by B DePaulo

Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest

I can tell you that my fellow conservatives won’t like this news at all. Neither will the Christians who are into complementarianism and who like to shame singles for being single, who like to promote the studies that say that staying single will cause a person to be miserable or die younger.

(Southern Baptist Al Mohler loves to push those views (Link): on his blog. It’s sickening.)

Anyway, here is this from B. DePaulo:

(Link): Women Who Stay Single or Get Divorced Are Healthiest by B. DePaulo

Excerpts:

A (Link): new study, soon to be published in the Journal of Women’s (Link): Health, provides fresh evidence that people who stay single instead of getting married, or who get divorced instead of staying married, are especially likely to be healthy.

….Here’s what changed when unmarried women (whether divorced, separated, or always single) got married:

  • After they got married, their BMI (body mass index) increased.
  • After they got married, they drank more.
  • After they got married, their systolic blood pressure increased.
  • Diastolic blood pressure decreased over the three-year period for those who stayed single and those who married, but it decreased less in those who got married.

Here’s what changed when married women got divorced or separated, compared to the women who stayed married:

  • BMI (body mass index) decreased for the women who got divorced.
  • Waist size decreased for the women who got divorced.

(( click here to read the rest ))


Related Posts:

(Link):  More Anti-Singleness Bias From Southern Baptist Al Mohler – Despite the Bible Says It Is Better Not To Marry 

(Link):   Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal

(Link):   Preacher Says in Sermon that Single Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Who Have Retarded Spirits and This Creates Dating Problems for Women

(Link): Conservative Christians Are Now Blaming Homosexual Marriage on Heterosexual Single Adults

(Link): There is No Such Thing as a Gift of Singleness or Gift of Celibacy or A Calling To Either One

(Link): Family as “The” Backbone of Society? – It’s Not In The Bible

(Link): The Myth of the Gift – Regarding Christian Teachings on Gift of Singleness and Gift of Celibacy

(Link): The Netherworld of Singleness for Some Singles – You Want Marriage But Don’t Want to Be Disrespected or Ignored for Being Single While You’re Single

(Link): Preachers and Christian Media Personalities: Re: Marriage – You’re missing the point stop trying to argue or shame singles into getting married

(Link): Christian Teachings on Relationships: One Reason Singles Are Remaining Single (even if they want to get married)

(Link): Salvation By Marriage Alone – The Over Emphasis Upon Marriage by Conservative Christians Evangelicals Southern Baptists

(Link): Want To But Can’t – The One Christian Demographic Being Continually Ignored by Christians Re: Marriage

(Link): Theme Park Bans Single Adults For Fear They Are All Pedophiles

(Link):  Stigmas and Stereotypes of Single Unmarried Men Over 25 or 30 Years of Age – They’re Supposedly All Homosexual or Pedophiles

(Link):  Christian Blogger About Divorce, Pastor Andrew Webb, Thinks All To Most Mid-Life Never – Married or Single – Again Adults Are Mal-Adjusted, Ugly Losers Who Have Too Much Baggage

(Link): Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies, Hails Pedo as a “Hero” – Meanwhile, Many Churches  Refuse to Allow Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions

Death, Grief, Marriage, Single Again, Soul Sleep, Christianity, Obnoxious Male Fixation on Female Looks

Death, Grief, Marriage, Single Again, Soul Sleep, Christianity, Obnoxious Male Fixation on Female Looks

I have several topics I’d like to address here. I’m going to discuss death, grief, dating, how men are too fixated on women’s looks, etc, and so on, all in the same post.

I learned from watching the Christian program “It is Written” today (Feb 2017) that the wife of Christian TV host Mike Tucker, Gayle, died. I’m not sure when the episode was first filmed or first aired.

You can read a transcript of that episode, “From Grief To Hope” (Link, off site): here.

You might be able to watch that very episode or one like it here: (Link, off site): Coping with Grief.

I see from an online obit that Gayle Tucker passed away in April 2016.

I am sorry for his loss.

I lost my mother, and it hurt a lot.

(Link, off site):  Gayle Tucker, Beloved Marriage Counselor on Faith For Today TV, Dead at 60

April 2016 –  The prominent Adventist television personality dies after a brief struggle with pancreatic cancer.

(Link, off site):   Beloved Christian TV Host, Couples’ Counselor Dead at 60

I learned a few years ago that the hosts and backers of “It Is Written” are SDAs (Seventh Day Adventists).

I also learned from a glance over google search results that Mike Tucker is a Seventh Day Adventist.

Part of SDA theology is something called “Soul Sleep,” a view that I totally disagree with and find discouraging and cruel.

Continue reading “Death, Grief, Marriage, Single Again, Soul Sleep, Christianity, Obnoxious Male Fixation on Female Looks”

Complementarian and Pro Family Values Christians Claim to be Pro Woman and Pro Family But By Their Actions Show They Are Not

Complementarian and Pro Family Values Christians Claim to be Pro Woman and Pro Family But By Their Actions Show They Are Not

Complementarians claim to be respectful of women, but their theological views help to enable mistreatment of women and bar women from taking positions and roles that should go to them, if they have the skills, talents, and education.

Many Christians claim to be pro “Family Values” but in reality treat children and women (you know, who tend to be parts of families) like dirt.

Here are some posts explaining in detail or giving examples:

First post:

(Link):  When I Became a Single Mother, Patriarchy Let Me Down by Bridget Jack Jeffries (excerpts from this first link farther below)

Second post:

And by way of WW – that is (Link): Wartburg Watch – (from a February 2017 post entitled, “Ignite: Remove Alleged Rapist, Ben Roethlisberger, and Joe White, Who Is Being Sued for Child Sex Abuse Cover Up, From the Speaker Lineup!”)

Christian Liberty University is holding something called “Ignite,” which pertains to advocating godly manhood or family values, or some such. One of Ignite’s scheduled speakers is a guy named Ben Roethlisberger, who is accused of rape by at least three different women. The guy is, or was, a football player.

A sub-heading on the WW page reads: “The troubling history of rape allegations against Ben Roethlisberger”

The WW blog owners in turn link to this page in  their post about this guy here:

(Link):   Without Consequence: When Professional Athletes Are Violent Off the Field

So, a Christian university is allowing an accused rapist to speak at an event that is purportedly about encouraging men to lead godly lives.

Continue reading “Complementarian and Pro Family Values Christians Claim to be Pro Woman and Pro Family But By Their Actions Show They Are Not”

Past Sin Does Not Make You A Better Spiritual Leader by P. Cooke

Past Sin Does Not Make You A Better Spiritual Leader by P Cooke

I’d say that this guy’s claim for pastoral sin in general is also very true for sexual sin in particular – sexual sin by anyone and everyone, that is, and not just pastoral sexual sin.

As I’ve blogged about before, rather than hiring celibate or virgin adults to give discussions or lectures about virginity and sexuality to teen-agers or in churches, most Christians oddly opt to get a known fornicator who claims to be a “born again” celibate to offer lectures, sermons, and to be guest speakers.

The assumption by Christians seems to be that if an adult has fornicated and now claims to be celibate that he or she is more qualified or more relatable to people than a virgin adult who is past the age of 25.

This seems like backwards thinking to me: you should want to hear from the man or woman who is over the age of 25 who has maintained their virginity and walked the walk, not the guy or woman who failed at it, who had sex prior to marriage but who now claims to be celibate.

Contrary to what many Christians and Non-Christians think, controlling one’s libido over a lifetime, and hence remaining a virgin into one’s 30s, 40s, or older, is not a heroic or an impossible task.

(Link):  Past Sin Does Not Make You A Better Spiritual Leader by P Cooke

Excerpts

In many cases I’ve encountered, that shortcut comes from the idea that because they’ve [preachers have] morally fallen in a particular way, they’re now more sensitive and understanding to those in the congregation who have experienced something similar.

Continue reading “Past Sin Does Not Make You A Better Spiritual Leader by P. Cooke”

Why Single People Can’t Catch a Break by B DePaulo

Why Single People Can’t Catch a Break by B DePaulo

(Link): Why Single People Can’t Catch a Break by B DePaulo

Excerpts

Single people are often (Link): stereotyped: Numerous studies conducted (Link): in the U.S. and elsewhere show that people think many singles are miserable, isolated, selfish, and doomed to lives that are nasty, brutish, and short.

But individuals who hold disparaging views of single people are wrong. As I’ve discussed many times (Link): before, scientific (Link): research does not support the myths about the superiority of married people.

So why do people cling to harsh beliefs about single people? Here are four reasons, suggested by scientific studies:

Continue reading “Why Single People Can’t Catch a Break by B DePaulo”

Groom Charged with Four Counts of Rape on His Wedding Day

Groom Charged with Four Counts of Rape on His Wedding Day

I grew up in a conservative, Christian background and have been a social conservative my whole life. I was a Republican from my teen years up to my mid-40s. I remain a right winger, but I don’t think I consider myself a Republican any more (no, I’m not a Democrat).

There is definitely a mythos and fairy tale among Christians and conservative political types that getting married is necessary to making a person mature, godly, responsible, and loving.

Often, Christian or right wing think tanks promote or peddle articles and studies that purport to show that marriage makes people happier or more mature (and these in turn are often debunked by Bella Depaulo – visit her blog here)

Of course, this idea that marriage will make a person more godly, loving, ethical and so forth, is magical thinking and a falsehood.

Marriage does not make people any more godly, responsible, loving, or mature than singleness does.

If marriage makes a person more loving, godly, and so forth, why do I keep seeing news story after news story of people who rape other people? Like this one:

(Link): Groom Charge with Four Counts of Rape on His Wedding Day

Newlyweds Forced to Be Celibate After Bride Diagnosed With Cervical Cancer Just Days After Honeymoon

Newlyweds Forced to Be Celibate After Bride Diagnosed With Cervical Cancer Just Days After Honeymoon

I hope this woman’s health recovers. (The link to the news story about this woman and her husband is much farther below. I wanted to make a few observations first.)

Growing up, I often heard or read Christians say that if one remains a virgin until marriage, that the married sex will be regular and great – I never once heard Christians discuss the possibility of a sexless marriage, where at least one partner does not want to have sex, or cannot (due to health problems, job stress, or what have you).

A lot of people, Christians certainly included, mistakenly think that sexual sin is the province ONLY of adult singles.

Therefore, Christian sermons and materials rarely discuss the possibility that married persons may have affairs, use prostitutes or pornography. Christians tend to teach that sexual purity (including chastity and celibacy) are only for adult singles, even though the Bible teaches that sexual purity is also expected of married persons.

Many Christians are in error to assume that the “marry if you don’t want to burn in lust” verse, as written by Paul, should be translated to mean, “Married persons will never commit sexual sins once they marry.”

The only sexual sin marriage takes care of is pre-marital sex.

Obviously, if two people marry and have sex with each other after marriage, their sex is not fornication (pre-marital sex). However, I have example after example on my blog (especially in the “sex sins by married couples one stop thread”) of married couples who use porn, hire call girls, molest kids, have affairs, etc.

There is nothing intrinsic about being married that makes sexual sin impossible.

A married man may still view porn, rape little kids, or have affairs on his wife. Being married is not a fail-safe or guarantee measure of sexual purity, but many Christians continue to act as though it is.

Sexual sin is therefore generally associated by many Christians with ADULT SINGLENESS (with the state of being single), so that single women (such as myself) are ostracized by the Christian community  (often under the Billy Graham Rule) as being “sexual temptresses,” although we are still virgins over the age of 35.

I, as a virgin adult woman, am ostracized and penalized by other Christians for something I have not even done (ie, had sex with a married man) – Christians just assume because I am single and female that I will want to lure a married man into bed. It is a very offensive view point that is common in churches and among Christians.

(Link): These newlyweds were forced to be celibate after bride was diagnosed with cervical cancer just days after honeymoon

It Doesn’t Take the Combination of Male and Female to Image God by S. O’Connor

It Doesn’t Take the Combination of Male and Female to Image God by S. O’Connor

I used to be a Christian gender complementarian. One unfortunate by-product of complementarianism is this notion that it takes a man married to a woman to equal a full human being.

I am a woman over age 40. I have never married. I find it deeply sexist and insulting any time I see Christians insisting in their sermons, books, blog posts, and where ever else, that it takes a man married to a woman to fully image God, because this view implies that a never-married woman such as myself is not “fully” human.

Nowhere does the Bible say it takes a man and a woman together to “equal” God’s image but this idea seems fairly common in Protestant, evangelical Christian circles.

I do not need a man as a husband or otherwise to fully represent God or to be a “full” human being.

The following blog post picks this “it takes two” view apart nicely:

(Link): It Doesn’t Take the Combination of Male and Female to Image God by S. O’Connor

Excerpts:

Practically everywhere I go I hear that it takes the combination of male and female to image God. God is not a man or a woman, it is argued, so it’s only logical that neither gender can fully image God by itself.

Continue reading “It Doesn’t Take the Combination of Male and Female to Image God by S. O’Connor”

Texas Double Murder Suspect Dreamed of Cutting Off Wife’s Head, Police Allege

I see stories like the one I’m blogging about in his post and think sometimes being single is not so bad by comparison. Or, more accurately, it’s pointless to be married if the person you’re married to is violent, selfish, a jerk, or a psycho – like the guy in this story.

I have times where I’m okay with being single, other times I’d like to be married (mainly for the companionship), but geeze frikkin’ louise, I see stories like this one and think having a husband this terrible is far worse than being single.

Not only did the guy kill his wife, but he was telling people prior to killing her that he didn’t like her. He was fed up with the way she looked and dressed.

I mean, good Lord, there is no point in getting married if the guy you’re married to cannot stand you, is not going to like you or respect you, and tells co-workers he fantasizes about cutting your head off.

I’d rather be husband-less than married to a violent, self absorbed douche-canoe who cannot even stand to be in the same room with me.

The article gets even more sad when you read about how a friend says the murdered woman had dreamed of getting married and having a kid since she was 12 years old, and she had three miscarriages before having their son (whom the guy also killed).

By the way: this again shows that being married and a parent does NOT, as Christians often claim, make a person more godly, ethical, or loving.

This also goes to show that contrary to most Christian advice I’ve seen, a person does not have to be perfect or godly to earn, merit, or get a spouse from God. If a person had to have a good heart and be a great person to start with before God would allow that person a spouse, than this evil idiot in this story never would’ve gotten married to start with.

(Link): Texas Double Murder Suspect Dreamed of Cutting Off Wife’s Head, Police Allege

A Texas man charged with (Link): fatally slashing the throats of his wife and infant son allegedly told co-workers he heard voices telling him to “kill people” and had dreamed of hurting his spouse, according to a newly released police affidavit obtained by PEOPLE.

The accusations detail suspect Craig Vandewege’s bizarre behavior before and after his 36-year-old wife, Shanna Vandewege, and their 3-month-old son, Diederick, were found dead in Fort Worth, Texas, on Dec. 15.

Continue reading “Texas Double Murder Suspect Dreamed of Cutting Off Wife’s Head, Police Allege”

700 Club’s Christian Host Pat Robertson Says that Singleness Is Terrible, Marriage Superior, and Singles Will End Up Miserable – Segment Also Supported Other Myths of Singleness Vs Marriage

700 Club’s Christian Host Pat Robertson Says that Singleness Is Terrible, Marriage Superior, and Singles Will End Up Miserable – Segment Also Supported Other Myths of Singleness Vs Marriage

In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul wrote that it is better to stay single than it is to marry. Jesus Christ himself never married.

The Bible does not extol marriage or pro-creation above singleness and being childless or child-free.

In spite of all that, today’s (December 20, 2016) episode of the Christian show The 700 Club, host Pat Robertson spoke poorly of singleness and said marriage is preferable or better than singleness.

On today’s episode of the Christian show The 700 Club, there was a segment about how millennials are reluctant to get married.

The show interviewed a few millennials, who are conservative Christians, about marriage.

One of these young ladies interviewed said, “It’s [marriage] is the most important thing.”

I would assume that young woman probably wants to marry some day. So did I when I was her age, but it never happened.

I am now in my 40s and have never married because the right guy never came into my life. I am single against my will, not because I choose to be.

Just because you want to be married does not mean you will marry. This is one fact these early-marriage advocates and other marriage-promoters never consider.

By the way, no-where does the Bible say that “marriage is the most important thing [in life].” I have no idea where that woman is getting that notion from, unless it’s being shoved down her throat by her conservative Christian church.

After the interview clips were shown, host Pat Robertson opined about how great marriage is, and in the process, he ran down singleness and singles.

Continue reading “700 Club’s Christian Host Pat Robertson Says that Singleness Is Terrible, Marriage Superior, and Singles Will End Up Miserable – Segment Also Supported Other Myths of Singleness Vs Marriage”

Washington Post Editorial by Ruth Everhart: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity – and Re: Internalized Misogyny or Sexism

Washington Post Editorial by Ruth Everhart: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity

This anti-Purity Culture crusade has taken on new insane heights.

Sexual assault victims who write anti-Purity editorials keep confusing the issues of consensual sex with rape and wanting to toss out all of sexual purity teachings, which is in error. I have written of this phenomenon before, such as:

(Link): Confusing Sexual Assault and Sexual Abuse with Consensual Sex and Then Condemning Sexual Purity Teachings – and other, related topics

Related content by another author:

(Link):  We’re Casual About Sex and Serious About Consent. But Is It Working? by J. Zimmerman

Whether you like it or not, the Bible does say that Mary was a virgin, and that being a virgin is expected of both sexes unless or until a person marries.

I am over 40 yeas of age and am still a virgin – and I’m a woman. I was engaged to a man for a few years in my early 30s and had an opportunity to fornicate, but I resolved to wait until marriage. I broke things off with my ex and remain single to this day.

I do not appreciate anti-Virginity editorialists besmirching my choice to sexually abstain by belittling virginity itself, or by attributing my choice (made of my own free will) to “patriarchy.”

First, here are the pertinent links with excerpts, and I will resume my commentary below:

(Link): Our culture of purity celebrates the Virgin Mary. As a rape victim, that hurts me by Ruth Everhart, Dec 2016, Washington Post

Some guy wrote a brief rebuttal of sorts to that editorial:

(Link): Washington Post Editorial: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity

by THOMAS D. WILLIAMS, PH.D.
8 Dec 2016

In an article (Link): titled, “Our culture of purity celebrates the Virgin Mary. As a rape victim, that hurts me,” Ruth Everhart explains that especially in the Advent lead-up to Christmas, Mary becomes a problem for many Christians because of her pristine purity.

Mary “set an impossibly high bar,” Everhart writes. “Now the rest of us are stuck trying to be both a virgin and a mother at the same time.”

As a rape victim, this has been especially difficult for the author, she says, which led to her becoming a pastor, in order “to come to terms with Mary’s story.”

Everhart writes that she doesn’t blame her sense of ruin “entirely” on the Virgin Mary. In fact, it isn’t really Mary’s fault, she states; it’s the Church’s for manipulating Mary into a model of purity.

Continue reading “Washington Post Editorial by Ruth Everhart: Virgin Mary Offends Rape Victims By Her Purity – and Re: Internalized Misogyny or Sexism”

Church Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church

Churches Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church

Several spiritual abuse blogs covered this story, as well as a handful of mainstream media outlets. (Links to the story are farther below).

From what I’ve read, this adult married man raped a young lady. He was, I think, in his mid-30s at the time of the rape, and his victim was around 13 years old. (Some of these articles are saying he had more than one young victim.)

At the time this story broke, I believe he was working in a library.

One of the spiritual abuse blogs dug up the information that this guy’s current wife is his THIRD WIFE, and they have children (however, I am unclear if these kids are his biological kids with this third wife, or if they are her kids from a prior marriage).

This church in Tennessee was allowing this sicko to act as a bass player on stage during various church services.

Many conservative Christians like to teach this falsehood that being married and being a parent are vital to making a person mature, godly, ethical, and loving, which is so much BUNK and nonsense, considering we have stories such as this one, where a man has been married THREE times in his life but raped kids before.

How did being thrice married prevent this creep from sexually assaulting girls? It did not. Marriage is not some kind of special salve or condition that makes a person behave in a moral fashion.

Continue reading “Church Used Adult Married Man Who Raped Teen as a Worship Team Member in their Church”

Married Man Used Pacifier to Muffle Screams of His Young Male Rape Victims

Married Man Used Pacifier to Muffle Screams of His Young Male Rape Victims

What a horrible story.

I noticed that the rapist in the news story is a married man – he’s married to a woman.

Christians frequently make the case that marriage (and parenthood) is necessary to make a person more mature, responsible, Christ-like (which is funny considering Jesus never married), and ethical.

Apparently, marriage does no such thing, if you have this situation where this adult married man is raping teen boys.

Marriage did DIDLEY SQUAT to make this guy ethical, compassionate, sexually up-right, and self-controlled.

I’ve never been married and I’ve never had children, and do you know how many children I’ve raped? ZERO, that’s how many. Do you know how many times I’ve fantasized about raping kids? ZERO, that’s how many.

 Goodness knows that contrary to the fantasies and delusions of Southern Baptists,  Focus On the Family, and other conservative Christian groups and denominations, that marital status has no bearing on how mature, godly, loving, responsible, or moral a person is.

I feel sorry for the police, investigators, or detectives who have to watch the sexually exploitative videos these sickos make as part of their job duties, so they can document the videos to use as evidence to use in a court of law.

(Link):  Man recorded sex acts on teen that involved sippy cup, diapers

(Link):  Michigan man sexually assaulted two brothers, dressing one in diaper and giving him pacifier: cops

by D. Boroff

A 22-year-old Michigan man sexually assaulted two young brothers, dressing one of them in a diaper and giving him a pacifier during the attacks, authorities say.

Tyler Ryan Lowis, who faces life in prison, referred to himself as “daddy” and called one of his victims “baby boy,” according to court records obtained by the Detroit Free Press.

Many attacks took place in the mobile home in Sparta that Lowis shared with his wife, according to the newspaper.

(Link):  Police: Michigan man raped young brothers, muffled assault with pacifier – Detroit Paper

(Link):  Police: Mich. man raped young brothers, muffled assault with pacifier – USA Today

Excerpts:

by John Hogan

Nov 30, 2016

SPARTA, MICH. – (Link): A Sparta man police say sexually assaulted two brothers, including one who was given a pacifier to muffle his screams, was ordered Monday to stand trial on nine felony charges that could put him in prison for life.

Tyler Ryan Lowis called himself “daddy’’ and referred to his victim as “baby boy,’’ who at times was dressed in a diaper and given a pacifier during sexual assaults that played out over a two-year period, according to court records.

Lowis, 22, lived in a mobile home community with his wife where several of the assaults occurred, court records show. He considered himself a “mentor’’ to the victim, who is now 14, court records show. Lowis made the boy use a sippy cup, baby bottle and diapers during the assaults, court records show.

Continue reading “Married Man Used Pacifier to Muffle Screams of His Young Male Rape Victims”

Let’s Kiss Dating Hello – Ring By Spring Culture at Christian Campuses, by N. Sheets

Let’s Kiss Dating Hello – Ring By Spring Culture at Christian Campuses, by N. Sheets

(Link): Let’s Kiss Dating Hello by N. Sheets

Excerpts:

A sociologist reveals her research about ‘ring by spring’ culture on a Christian college campus.

…In the fall of 2014, George gathered some initial data on students’ attitudes about “ring by spring.” The results of her study are (Link): forthcoming in Christian Reflection.

I had the chance to talk with George about her research, the surprising sticking power of “ring by spring” culture—especially at a time when the age of first marriage in the US (Link): keeps climbing —and its implications for Christian college students.

[Question]: In your forthcoming article, you’re very clear to point out that this is not an indictment of young marriage or young engagement. You’re trying to stay neutral on that. Do you anticipate any pushback?

[Response]: We all have different journeys in life. Some of us are called to be married young, others of us later in life, and still others don’t have marriage in their life journey at all. I am pro-marriage for any adult couple, regardless of age, that feels the timing is right and is prepared for marriage.

Still, I am sure there will be pushback from some who believe that we all need to marry young. And for some cultures, that is the norm. However, the sociological literature is very clear on the implications of younger marriages, and I think we need to consider the science behind those studies when addressing marriage trends.

In general, younger marriages don’t succeed as often as marriages when people are older.

And young/old is really fluid depending on what research you’re looking at, but over 24 would be an “older” marriage just because you’ve got more of a financial grounding.

And what [social scientists] find is that women do better if they get married older than if they get married young because they’ve established themselves financially.

In sociology, when we talk about “success” in a marriage, we’re basically talking about whether you get divorced or separated, and that’s very black and white.

You can be with someone for 50 years and not have a great relationship, and there’s a lot of internal turmoil happening that is not documented. And so we don’t know those figures and how they work into it.

Continue reading “Let’s Kiss Dating Hello – Ring By Spring Culture at Christian Campuses, by N. Sheets”

What It’s Really Like to Be a Guy Who Only Dates Much Older Women by L. Moore

What It’s Really Like to Be a Guy Who Only Dates Much Older Women

I am largely opposed to “May December” relationships, as (Link): I’ve blogged on before.

One of the things I found interesting about this page is that it affirms something I said on a much older post of mine –

Often times, men ages 35 and older say they prefer dating much younger women (as in, 20 somethings) because 20 year old women supposedly have less baggage. As I explained in my last post, that is pure hog-wash. Younger women generally have MORE BAGGAGE than older women.

Older women have gained life experience, have gained self esteem over the years, know what they want, won’t permit themselves to be treated disrespectfully by men, won’t put up with crap – not from men, not from bosses, not from friends or whomever.

Most women over the age of 35 or 40 have worked through their “baggage,” whether by seeing a therapist, reading books by psychologists, or just living through pain. Younger women are not there yet.

Note how all three of these younger men say that they prefer dating older women, one reason of which, is because older women “lack drama,” which is another way of saying older women lack baggage.

(Link):  What It’s Really Like to Be a Guy Who Only Dates Much Older Women by Lane Moore

Excerpts:

WHAT DO YOU LOVE MOST ABOUT DATING OLDER WOMEN?

Man A: I like how mature they can be when handling serious situations, but also how playful and youthful they are. My last girlfriend and I would sit down and listen to all my favorite music, and it was a real bonding experience I’d never had before. You don’t expect someone who is so much older to have so much in common with you or the desire to connect with you the way some older women do.

Man B: Older women have their life together. And with 15 years more experience, they’re more interesting to talk to.

Man C: There’s less drama with older women and they are much less likely to be dependent on you. A strong, independent woman is sexy.

Continue reading “What It’s Really Like to Be a Guy Who Only Dates Much Older Women by L. Moore”

Texas Pastor and Pastor’s Wife Sexually Abused Their Kids

Texas Pastor and Pastor’s Wife Sexually Abused Their Kids

Well, looky there! Married people are not more mature or godly than singles.

(Link):  Widow of Area Pastor Receives Five Life Sentences in Child Sex Case

There is always a steady supply of news items of married Christian couples who are arrested for fondling kids, abusing them, or neglecting them – I don’t have the time or energy to make blog posts about them every time I find them.

So to all the conservative Christians out there who keep making marriage out as a necessary rite of passage, one that instantly makes a person more mature, godly, loving, or responsible, knock it off.

Also be aware that this is more evidence that the rule of Christians only marrying other Christians (the equally yoked rule) is a WASTE OF TIME.

Self-professing Christians are no more trust-worthy or godly than your average Non-Christian.

So, if you are a single, Christian woman, please don’t feel limited to only dating Christian men.

BTW, this perverted woman is age 49, but she looks a lot older than that (there is a photo of her on the news page). I’m in my 40s too  (though I am younger than 49), but I don’t look like a fat, old haggard hag like this lady. I jog, stay in shape, wear make-up, look nice, etc.

Let this also be a lesson to you that the Christian teaching that says you must become more godly, more perfect, or “clean yourself up” before God will reward you with a spouse is false.

Obviously, neither of these perverts in this story were perfect or godly: they were sexually abusing children. You don’t have to be sinless, morally perfect, or great to merit a spouse.

(Link):  5 life sentences for Burnet woman in family sex abuse case

Oct 21, 2016

by  Philip Jankowski

…However, testimony during trial showed that Hopkins abused one of her daughters from the time she was at least 7 years old until she was 21, according to the district attorney’s office for the 33rd and 424th state judicial districts.

Continue reading “Texas Pastor and Pastor’s Wife Sexually Abused Their Kids”

WHO: Single People Who Struggle to Find A Partner To Be Considered “Infertile”

WHO: Single People Who Struggle to Find A Partner To Be Considered “Infertile”

I’m taken aback by some of the cranky comments by people who disagree with this decision. Take for example this (source):

Josephine Quintavalle, from Comment on Reproductive Ethics added: “This absurd nonsense is not simply re-defining infertility but completely side-lining the biological process and significance of natural intercourse between a man and a woman.

Well, excuse the hell out of me, Ms. Quintavalle, but some of us find ourselves single by circumstance – we had hoped to be married in our 20s or 30s but just could not find the right guy. I cannot get pregnant now because I have no husband to have sex with to get pregnant, by, HELLO.

You’re saying women like me shouldn’t be able to get help we need or want in having a kid of our own, if that is what we want (I never cared if I had one myself or not, but some women really want one). There is just no sympathy from some people for the circumstances other people find themselves in in life. I didn’t plan on turning out single well into my 40s, lady.

I don’t think that adult singleness should be thought of in a derogatory fashion as a “disability” (God knows we get enough of that condescending attitude from churches as it is), but I don’t see anything wrong with it pertaining to allowing singles who want to have  kid.

I’m also seeing one or two commentators who assume that single adults are more “selfish” than married couples, which is untrue and is (Link): the reverse!

(Link):   People Who Can’t Find Sex Partners Should Be Classified as ‘Disabled,’ Says World Health Organization

(Link):  Being Single Is Now a Disability, According to the World Health Organization

By Rhett Jones

For the WHO’s Dr. David Adamson, one of the authors of the new standards, this move is about creating medical equality. He says, “(Link): The definition of infertility is now written in such a way that it includes the rights of all individuals to have a family, and that includes single men, single women, gay men, gay women.”

Continue reading “WHO: Single People Who Struggle to Find A Partner To Be Considered “Infertile””

Pastor Marries His Mistress And Begs For Honeymoon Money Through GoFundMe

Pastor Marries His Mistress And Begs For Honeymoon Money Through GoFundMe

I hope this is satire, but it appears to be the real deal.

Christians: a lot of you teach that married couples are more godly and mature than single adults. No, they’re not. Here’s more proof.

I also think this is another example of how “equally yoked” is an ineffective teaching that is pointless and needs to go into the trash can, in so far as Christians assume it applies to marriage.

(Link): Pastor Marries His Mistress And Begs For Honeymoon Money Through GoFundMe

By Victor Ochieng

When “greet your neighbor” portion comes up during a church service, most people don’t connect; they simply see their neighbor’s faces, shake their hands, and that’s it. For Pastor Elijah Jones III, however, he didn’t just see a face, instead he found “true love.”

Jones fell in love with Stephanie Malveaux at a time when he was already married to a woman by the name Wanda Jones, according to Reality Wives. After they met, Malveaux became Jones’ mistress before the two later got married.

Jones, however, tried to make their relationship appear like that of two single people coming together in love yet that wasn’t the case.

According to (Link): reports, the two met at a church.

Continue reading “Pastor Marries His Mistress And Begs For Honeymoon Money Through GoFundMe”

I Probably Wouldn’t Be Discussing My Sexual Choices If Other People Would Shut Up About Theirs

I Probably Wouldn’t Be Discussing My Sexual Choices If Other People Would Shut Up About Theirs

I suppose my main basis for having started this blog a few years ago is that I am single and was wanting to get married, and I couldn’t figure out why I was still single – then I thought back, reflected, on how most churches ignore or disrespect single adults merely for being single. And I was not seeing this discussed much, or not consistently, on Christian sites.

But then I also started noticing how most people, Christians included, are terribly rude and disrespectful, towards people who are not having sex.

I just wanted to say I probably would not have started this blog about being a celibate adult (and being single), or write about celibacy as much as I did, if the church and most of society would shut up about sex and marriage.

I’m not the kind of person who goes around blabbing about her sexual status to people – certainly not announcing it all over the place, or not to friends or co-workers.

Continue reading “I Probably Wouldn’t Be Discussing My Sexual Choices If Other People Would Shut Up About Theirs”