Rise in Singles, Who Face Economic Costs, Worry Researchers

Rise in Singles, Who Face Economic Costs, Worry Researchers

(Link): Rise in Singles, Who Face Economic Costs, Worry Researchers

by Mike Schneider
Oct 5, 2021

…A new study from Pew Research Center released Tuesday underscores the economic advantages of being married, especially as the share of single people in the U.S. has grown over the past three decades.

The flip side, of course, is that it’s harder to be single, researchers say, since the unpartnered population earns less and has less education. Unpartnered men, in particular, are less likely to be employed.

The share of the U.S. population not living with a romantic partner during prime working years has grown from 29% to 38% from 1990 to 2019.

Continue reading “Rise in Singles, Who Face Economic Costs, Worry Researchers”

Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical

Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical

As a moderately conservative individual, I agree with much of the content published at The Federalist, but certainly not all. This is one of those times when no, I don’t agree.

The name Joy Pullman looked familiar to me, and sure enough, a few years ago, I did a post or two criticizing (Link): one of her other articles.

This time, I am disagreeing with this following piece at The Federalist by Joy Pullman;
I will put some excerpts in, and below that, discuss where my areas of disagreement are
(and it’s a super long excerpt – my comments will be way, way below):

(Link): Christianity’s Growth Problem Isn’t Politics, It’s Our Failure To Have And Evangelize Children

Like just about every other Western Christian body, as well as the United States, the SBC is left to squabble over shrinking slices of a dwindling pie.

by Joy Pullman

The New York Times put out a lengthy preview of the Southern Baptist Convention’s top controversies heading into their annual meeting this week in Nashville, Tenn. Members of the nation’s largest evangelical denomination are weighing the future of their religious body amid numerous theological controversies.

Decline Stems From No Babies, Not Being Too Trumpy
The Times reports that one of the SBC’s concerns is “15-year decline” in members, both through potential theological schisms intertwined with politics, such as critical race theory, and through an aging and thus declining membership.

….While the Times makes much of contrasting the SBC’s political conservatism with its forecast of demographically decisive American leftism, it doesn’t note that the SBC’s decline is directly related to following broader American culture, instead of Christian beliefs, on a keystone of institutional vibrancy: fertility.

Continue reading “Joy Pullman at The Federalist is At It Again: This Time, She’s Promoting ‘Bedroom Evangelism,’ Which is Not Biblical”

Bride-to-Be Sparks Uproar with ‘Vile’ Wedding Date Selection:  ‘A Self-Centered Monster’

Bride-to-Be Sparks Uproar with ‘Vile’ Wedding Date Selection:  ‘A Self-Centered Monster’

And many secular conservatives and Christians like to teach that marriage makes people more godly, loving, self-less, and mature – no, it sure does not. Here’s another example.

(Link): Bride-to-be sparks uproar with ‘vile’ wedding date selection: ‘A self-centered monster’

by Emerald Pellot

Fri, April 23, 2021, 2:22 PM
….A woman doesn’t understand why her friend planned her wedding on the seventh anniversary of her family’s death.

She explained why she doesn’t want to attend the wedding on Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum. She lost her husband, daughter and mother in a car accident. Every year, she visits their graves on the anniversary of their deaths.

But this year, her good friend planned her wedding on the anniversary and forbade her from visiting her family at the cemetery instead.

Continue reading “Bride-to-Be Sparks Uproar with ‘Vile’ Wedding Date Selection:  ‘A Self-Centered Monster’”

Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green

Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green

I will excerpt this essay from The Christian Post, which was published about a month ago, then offer my thoughts.

I will start out by saying it’s not just a lack of YOUNG men in the church, but a lack of single men of ANY age at churches that is a problem for any Christian single woman who expected to be able to find a marital partner at a church.

I remain single past my 30s and 40s. I had wanted to be married, I was taught by Christian culture and my parents that if I was just a good Christian person, prayed, and trusted in God, that I would be “sent” a Christian spouse, and that I could likely expect to meet this spouse, whoever he was, at a church.

So, over the years, in my 20s and older, I would pop into the occasional church every so often. However, any time I attended,  there were never any single men of my age, once I got into my mid or late 20s, my 30s, and my 40s.

It’s not just women in their 20s who’d like to marry, it’s women in their 30s and on up age-wise who’d like to marry. Why oh why do Christians always ignore them? It’s not fair or okay.

Never, ever focus solely on 20-something singles.

With that, here is the article – below the article, I will offer my observations:

(Link): Crisis in the Christian Church: A lack of young, single men

Excerpts:

By Solomon Green, March 4, 2021

….Churches are increasingly becoming a (Link): very unpopular [PDF document] place to meet a future wife or husband since the 1940s. The truth is, Christian Culture is dying.

…new families cannot be formed when there is a barrier of severe gender imbalance.  According to (Link): Lyman Stone’s study, a typical Sunday service has 71 eligible men to 100 eligible women.

This is an enormous problem within the Body of Christ that isn’t getting any better or going to fix itself.

New men aren’t just going to walk into churches. So how do churches fix this? Well, here are three steps to help solve the problem.

Step One: Have more Sunday sermons focused on careers, sex, and marriage. These topics are of great importance, yet are hardly covered from the pulpit …

Continue reading “Thoughts Regarding ‘Crisis in the Christian Church: A Lack of Young, Single Men’ Essay by S. Green”

Is There a Stigma to Being Single? by Wendy L. Patrick

Is There a Stigma to Being Single? by Wendy L. Patrick

(Link): Is There a Stigma to Being Single? by Wendy L. Patrick

Excerpts:

March 4, 2021

Even in modern times, singles are plagued by discrimination.

    • In many countries, there are now more singles than couples, but people continue to view marriage as a symbol of status and success.
    • Singles face discrimination, prejudice and financial challenges as they often earn less and pay more for social benefits, healthcare and income taxes, according to research. 
    • Many people enjoy being single, which has advantages, such as freeing up time for meaningful pursuits. 

….The Rise of Singleness

Alexandra N. Fisher and John K. Sakaluk (2020) note that within the United States, Canada, the United Kingdom, and many Scandinavian countries, there are more singles than couples (married or common-law). 

They view this as a trend attributable to the fact that people tend to date longer, marry later in life, divorce more frequently, and often value career over relationships. 

Continue reading “Is There a Stigma to Being Single? by Wendy L. Patrick”

I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson

I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson

Before I paste in excerpts from the article (see farther below), I wanted to say, yes, it’s unfortunately common for family and friends to shame you about being single; it’s common for them to poke fun or ask questions about “why aren’t you married yet?” or “why don’t you have a boyfriend?,” and so forth.

Now, I’m not sure of the author’s (Thompson’s) age of this piece I am excerpting below, but if you are a single adult reading this, and you find yourself nodding along in empathy and solidarity, because you too know what it feels like to be pressured or shamed by friends and family for being single, I wanted to point out that this shaming, guilt tripping, mockery and so on, doesn’t last forever.

I am now in my late forties; most people will stop questioning you and mocking you about “why aren’t you married or dating anyone yet” at some stage of your life, probably in your mid-40s.

You will have to endure a lot of the annoying, at times hurtful, mocking, innuendo, shaming, teasing, pressure, and so on and so forth, in your younger years.

The mid 30s seem to be the height of this singles shaming and ridicule for most people (based on anecdotes I’ve seen from other single adults over the years).

Continue reading “I Haven’t Had A Boyfriend For A Decade. Here’s What I Learned. by R. Thompson”

Awful Early-Marriage Promoting Editorial, ‘The Future of Christian Marriage,’ from The Christian Post that Actually Cites Deviant Mark Regnerus (December 2020)

Awful Early-Marriage Promoting Editorial, ‘The Future of Christian Marriage,’ from The Christian Post that Actually Cites Deviant Mark Regnerus (December 2020)

Below: another article (this time from The Christian Post) seemingly advocating for the good ol’ days when, supposedly, most women got married by the age of 21 and popped out 10 kids apiece and lamenting at how folks just aren’t quite into marriage now as much as they used to be.

Such articles inadvertently suggest that being single and/or childless are somehow “wrong,” immoral, dangerous for society, or “second best.” They are sometimes (Link): intentionally or inadvertently singles-shaming.

Seems that about once a year, every year, some secular conservative or Christian group or person releases some kind of editorial bemoaning delayed marriage.

You can count on these things appearing regularly. Just like death and taxes, or the sun rising in the east tomorrow.

Continue reading “Awful Early-Marriage Promoting Editorial, ‘The Future of Christian Marriage,’ from The Christian Post that Actually Cites Deviant Mark Regnerus (December 2020)”

Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Single women get slammed with the reverse stereotype as what this author  describes about unmarried men in this editorial: we’re (single women) all expected to be really maternal, even if we find babies and children annoying and weird and prefer the company of adults only. 

I have other posts on my blog with articles about the negative stereotypes that culture and married people have about singles – and ones that pertain to single women.

For example, some restaurants with bars (Link): forbid single women from sitting at the bar, because the management insultingly assumes any woman sitting alone at the bar is a prostitute (I am not joking). See the links under “Related Posts” at the bottom of this page for more such unfortunate examples.

(Link): Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi

Excerpts:

The widespread mockery and suspicion of Gaetz’s relationship with Nestor isn’t just due to the congressman’s personality, however; it reflects sexist assumptions about parenthood.

Continue reading “Why Is It So Difficult To Believe Single Men Can Have Paternal Instincts Too? by A. Mahdawi”

A Table For One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)

A Table For One: Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)

The author was also offering a free (yes, free – and it’s totally legal) download or copy of her book about singleness (a book which I have not read; I may do so later).

I did listen to the interview she gave for the podcast linked to here:

(Link): A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time
^ Podcast on that Page

Why are you still single?

This question is often asked of single women, especially those who are deemed by loved ones or friends to be too old to be single.

In her newest book, A Table for One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time(Manchester University Press, 2017), Kinneret Lahad analyzes this undertheorized aspect of the gendered experience.

Singlehood is inextricably linked to a post-structural analysis of time: not only are single women judged on their single status based on how old they are, but Lahad argues that being single often ages women at a faster rate in the eyes of others.

Continue reading “A Table For One: A Critical Reading of Singlehood, Gender and Time (podcast and free book on singleness from author Kinneret Lahad)”

No Surprise There: Bradford Wilcox Deems Married People Better Off During Pandemic Than Single Adults – Rebuttals

No Surprise There: Bradford Wilcox Deems Married People Better Off During Pandemic Than Single Adults – Rebuttals

I have made several blog posts in years past discussing some of Bradford Wilcox’s articles about marriage for various publications.

Wilcox works for, is somehow affiliated with, organizations such as the National Marriage Project and Institute For Family Studies. He is very much about promoting marriage, natalism, and the nuclear family.

In years past, he has promoted marriage and all the rest at the expense of singleness: he loves to advance marriage by stigmatizing singleness.

Wilcox (and guys like him, such as Southern Baptist Al Mohler) likes to try to “scare” single adults into getting married by publishing faulty and fear-mongering essays about how studies (which he sometimes misquotes or misunderstands) supposedly say that singles are more likely to suffer this or that calamity or problem than are married people.

Any time Wilcox comments on any issue, you can guarantee before you click on the headline that his editorial will say that married people have X better than singles have X.

It doesn’t matter if he’s talking about financial issues – like in the link that follows – or some other topic.

His pieces are all heavily agenda-driven: to make marriage look fabulous by slamming singleness, or by making singleness look “worse” than marriage, or by making singleness look unsafe, scary, or miserable.

Continue reading “No Surprise There: Bradford Wilcox Deems Married People Better Off During Pandemic Than Single Adults – Rebuttals”

Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will? by Anonymous via Sheila Wray Gregoire

Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will? by Anonymous via Sheila Wray Gregoire

A few weeks ago, Sheila Wray Gregorie, who maintains a Christian martial advice blog, shared (Link): this on twitter.

A woman who runs yet another blog (called (Link): “True Love Dates”) featured a post by a single adult woman who I guess posted under a pen name, or as anonymous.

This single woman explained in her comment that, no, it’s not God’s will for all single women to be single, and for so many Christians to keep mouthing this assumption or repeating it in their sermons, books, or blogs is hurtful and discouraging to some single women who’d like to be married but who have not met the right person.

I too have done several posts over the years attempting to correct some of the wrong, hurtful, or insensitive teachings and attitudes that a lot of Christians have about singleness –
– such as, (Link): God told you to marry your spouse;
or, it’s (Link): God’s will for most to marry;
or that (Link): single adults exist only to serve married couples;
or that (Link): unwanted and protracted singleness is a “gift” God bestows upon some. (There are so many Christian fallacies about singleness.)

Here is the featured content for this post, and I agree that Christians need to stop saying that singleness (especially unwanted protracted singleness) is “God’s will.”

(Link): Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will?

Excerpts:

[by Sheila Wray Gregoire]

If you’ve never been married, does that mean that it was always God’s will that you would be single?

I think we talk about that a lot–that people are “called to singleness”, as if God decides before you were born, “Oh, I’m going to make sure that Jennifer doesn’t get married,” or “I’d prefer Stacey never meet the man of her dreams.”

Now, I do believe that God puts on some people’s hearts to be single, and to dedicate their life to a singular purpose to serve Him, in which singleness is necessary.

But I don’t think that’s the majority of people who are single.

Continue reading “Can We Stop Saying Singleness is God’s Will? by Anonymous via Sheila Wray Gregoire”

Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

I have been blogging about this topic, and ones pertaining to it, for several years now. It’s no mystery to me why women have been leaving the church in droves the last ten or more years.

(If you’d like to see just a few of my posts explaining why the Christian faith, or more specifically, churches, are a huge turn-off to single women, please see some of the links to my other blog posts below in this post, under the “Related Posts” heading.)

However, most Christians only obsess over smaller numbers of MEN leaving church; they don’t seem to either notice or to care that single women have been dropping out as well.

One of the few things this article highlights is that the “equally yoked” rule is a waste of time for women of faith who’d like to be married.

If you are a Christian woman, and you’d like to marry, it is vital you give up a hope or strict rule of marrying only a Christian man – otherwise, you are more than likely to remain single.

Secondly, and obviously, too many churches have made marriage and parenthood into idols and benchmarks of adulthood, so that any woman who doesn’t marry or have kids is ignored or viewed and treated like a child. That needs to change. Single women should be valued and recognized in their singleness. 

I can also see how gender complementarianism (traditional gender roles) are also keeping these Christian women from getting married: they have internalized the idea that being anything other than the Christian gender complementarian woman (i.e., a passive doormat) hinders them from getting a husband, and worse yet, some of the men they’ve met in church actually do feel that way.

Christians need to toss out the regressive stereotypes (which are snuck into Christian teaching under heretical gender complementarian teachings) if they are truly concerned about declining marriage rates and would like to actually help marriage-minded single women to get married.

Not all women naturally fit into the gender complementarian ideal, which means they may not get married, if everyone insists all women must be gender comp to merit marriage. (The Bible does not hold up women being passive or being gender complementarian to merit a husband; it is church members who promote this false view.)

(Link): Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini

Excerpts:

…. It turns out that in both countries, single Christian women are leaving churches at increasingly high rates. In the UK, one study showed that single women are the most likely group to leave Christianity.

In the US, the numbers tell a similar story.

Of course, there is a distinction between leaving church and leaving Christianity, and these studies do not make the difference clear.

Regardless, leaving – whether it be your congregation or your faith — is a difficult decision. Women stand to lose their friends, their sense of identity, their community and, in some cases, even their family. And yet, many are doing it anyway.

What or who is driving them out?

Continue reading “Why Are So Many Single Women Leaving the Church? by K. Gaddini”