‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ TV Show Scene Perfectly Sums Up What It’s Like To Be Single at 40+ When You Had Wanted to Be Married

‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ TV Show Scene Perfectly Sums Up What It’s Like To Be Single at 40+ When You Had Wanted to Be Married 

I just re-watched a re-run I had forgotten about. It really resonated – maybe not so much at the time, when I was in my 20s when it first aired, but now that I’m in my 40s and still single, like the character in the skit is, I totally relate.

I will embed the scene below in this post, that someone posted on You Tube (I so hope the video is never pulled down. Sometimes, videos are removed due to copyright infringement claims.)

“Everybody Loves Raymond” is a television situation comedy show that started around 1996. I used to watch it every week and still remember the characters and one or two of the episodes.

This show takes place, starts out, in the late 1990s, before many Americans had the internet – dating sites were still a good ways away, and cell phones didn’t really catch on until around the year 2,000 or a bit later.

Even when dating sites first came out and caught on, many singles did not want to use them.

Even up to around 2005 or so, there was a stigma attached to dating sites. If you used one at that time, you didn’t really want anyone to know, because they might think you were desperate or a loser.

I started watching “Everyone Loves Raymond” again in re-runs about two weeks ago – it comes on some of the local cable channels. If you’re like I am – single over the age of 35 and had expected and wanted to marry – you might really relate to the embedded video in this post, too.

To set it up for you if you’re not familiar with the show:

The show is about a guy named Ray who is married to Debra. Ray’s parents, Frank and Marie, live across the street from Ray and Debra.

Ray’s older brother, Robert (a.k.a. “Robbie”), is a police officer who lives with his parents – the guy was married to a woman name Joanne(?), and if I remember correctly, she won the house in their divorce. Joanne dumped Robert for a guy Robert arrested.

For a long time, Robert was too broke and too depressed to live on his own, so he lived with his parents. Eventually, Robert meets Amy, and they get married. But for a good long time, Robert, who is in his early 40s, is single, can’t seem to meet the right woman, and hates being single.

Continue reading “‘Everybody Loves Raymond’ TV Show Scene Perfectly Sums Up What It’s Like To Be Single at 40+ When You Had Wanted to Be Married”

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700 Club’s Christian Host Pat Robertson Says that Singleness Is Terrible, Marriage Superior, and Singles Will End Up Miserable – Segment Also Supported Other Myths of Singleness Vs Marriage

700 Club’s Christian Host Pat Robertson Says that Singleness Is Terrible, Marriage Superior, and Singles Will End Up Miserable – Segment Also Supported Other Myths of Singleness Vs Marriage

In the New Testament, the Apostle Paul wrote that it is better to stay single than it is to marry. Jesus Christ himself never married.

The Bible does not extol marriage or pro-creation above singleness and being childless or child-free.

In spite of all that, today’s (December 20, 2016) episode of the Christian show The 700 Club, host Pat Robertson spoke poorly of singleness and said marriage is preferable or better than singleness.

On today’s episode of the Christian show The 700 Club, there was a segment about how millennials are reluctant to get married.

The show interviewed a few millennials, who are conservative Christians, about marriage.

One of these young ladies interviewed said, “It’s [marriage] is the most important thing.”

I would assume that young woman probably wants to marry some day. So did I when I was her age, but it never happened.

I am now in my 40s and have never married because the right guy never came into my life. I am single against my will, not because I choose to be.

Just because you want to be married does not mean you will marry. This is one fact these early-marriage advocates and other marriage-promoters never consider.

By the way, no-where does the Bible say that “marriage is the most important thing [in life].” I have no idea where that woman is getting that notion from, unless it’s being shoved down her throat by her conservative Christian church.

After the interview clips were shown, host Pat Robertson opined about how great marriage is, and in the process, he ran down singleness and singles.

Continue reading “700 Club’s Christian Host Pat Robertson Says that Singleness Is Terrible, Marriage Superior, and Singles Will End Up Miserable – Segment Also Supported Other Myths of Singleness Vs Marriage”

Pat Robertson’s Incredibly Insensitive Advice to Gail the Unmarried Woman

Pat Robertson’s Incredibly Insensitive Advice to Gail the Unmarried Woman 

I am infuriated at Robertson’s response to this Gail woman who wrote to him. I am trying to keep my language clean in this post, but I want to cuss up a storm.

A woman named Gail wrote a question to Christian television host Pat Robertson. You can view her question and listen to Robertson’s response below (I will embed the video in this post).

Gail wrote to Pat Robertson (despite the fact I’ve tweeted several times over begging women of America to stop asking him for relationship advice – dang it Gail, have you not seen my warnings??) and Gail asked Robertson a question.

Gail wanted to know why all her female friends are married but she is not, even though she’s prayed and asked God to send her a husband. Gail also said she is having financial problems.

Robertson went on to shame and scold this woman. He said (to paraphrase) that she had a lot of egotistical nerve expecting God to just answer her prayers and plop a husband down in her lap. Robertson told Gail if she wants a husband or financial help to go out and work for it.  He implied that she is at fault in some way.

Continue reading “Pat Robertson’s Incredibly Insensitive Advice to Gail the Unmarried Woman”

I Probably Wouldn’t Be Discussing My Sexual Choices If Other People Would Shut Up About Theirs

I Probably Wouldn’t Be Discussing My Sexual Choices If Other People Would Shut Up About Theirs

I suppose my main basis for having started this blog a few years ago is that I am single and was wanting to get married, and I couldn’t figure out why I was still single – then I thought back, reflected, on how most churches ignore or disrespect single adults merely for being single. And I was not seeing this discussed much, or not consistently, on Christian sites.

But then I also started noticing how most people, Christians included, are terribly rude and disrespectful, towards people who are not having sex.

I just wanted to say I probably would not have started this blog about being a celibate adult (and being single), or write about celibacy as much as I did, if the church and most of society would shut up about sex and marriage.

I’m not the kind of person who goes around blabbing about her sexual status to people – certainly not announcing it all over the place, or not to friends or co-workers.

Continue reading “I Probably Wouldn’t Be Discussing My Sexual Choices If Other People Would Shut Up About Theirs”

How Do We Solve a Problem Like the Singles? by R. Kilgore

How Do We Solve a Problem Like the Singles?  by Rachel Kilgore

Before I get to the link to the essay by Kilgore, which is hosted at MOS (Mortificiation of Spin / specifically, Aimee Byrd’s blog, ‘Housewife Theologian’):

For years and years on this blog, here on “Christian Pundit” blog, I have been explaining over and over again that most evangelical, Baptist, Reformed, and Fundamentalist Christian denominations, churches, and groups IGNORE adults singles – the older a single you are, the worse it is – the more ignored you are.

I have also commented on other people’s blogs under the Christian Pundit blog name, and under other names, alerting Christians to how horribly American Christians treat adult singles. I have Tweeted about it.

When Christians aren’t ignoring us older singles, and they do manage to notice our existence, many Christians shame us for being single. They insult us. They try to make us feel like we are losers (seriously, see (Link): this post, (Link): this post, (Link): this post), (Link): this post – I could cite many more examples from my blog of anti-Singles bias by Christians, but that should suffice.)

I used to be what is called a gender complementarian.  I am not interested in spending a lot of time explaining what that means.

I am no longer a gender complementarian.

I am linking you here to a post about adult singleness at a blog (the one by A. Byrd) owned by what I would term “soft gender complementarians.”

Continue reading “How Do We Solve a Problem Like the Singles? by R. Kilgore”

Our Priorities Are Off When Family Is More Important Than Church – Jesus’ focus was on the family of God, not the biological family. by J. Hellerman

Our Priorities Are Off When Family Is More Important Than Church – Jesus’ focus was on the family of God, not the biological family. by J. Hellerman

I’ve been saying the same thing on this blog the last few years: American Christians have turned the Nuclear Family, and all that goes with it – Marriage and Children and Parenthood – into idols.

American Christians have done so to such a degree that anyone who is not part of such as family, anyone who is single or childless, is marginalized.

Edit.

By the way, Facebook group SCCL posted a link to this same editorial (link to SCCL discussion thread). Unfortunately, many of the participants in the thread have chosen to take the editorial the wrong way – they think it’s rude, inappropriate, or weird to ask or expect Christians to make spiritual family (other believers) a priority to them, over their biological family, or in addition to.

The posters at SCCL clearly do not understand – you have people (such as me), with little to no biological family, and people such as myself (older singles with no kids) are side-lined, minimized, all by a church culture that hypes and deifies “the nuclear family,” children, and marriage.

I do not think a Christian should so prioritize his church that he ignores his biological family, but we have the opposite problem in many churches today – people who are widowed, never married, divorced, or childless are treated like trash, and their needs go unmet, because too many churches cater to the traditional family unit, something Jesus expressly forbid them from doing.

(Link): Our Priorities Are Off When Family Is More Important Than Church – Jesus’ focus was on the family of God, not the biological family. by J. Hellerman

Excerpts:

…  American adults, according to (Link): a recent Barna study, are “most likely to point to their family as making up a significant part their personal identity.” Country and God come next. Christians are no exception; natural family has usurped God and his family as the primary identity marker for most church-goers.

Most of us prioritize our commitment to family above our commitment to the church. This is unfortunate, because the Bible offers us a different set of relational priorities.

Continue reading “Our Priorities Are Off When Family Is More Important Than Church – Jesus’ focus was on the family of God, not the biological family. by J. Hellerman”

How to Date When You’re Almost Middle-Aged by A. Broadway

How to Date When You’re Almost Middle-Aged by A. Broadway

I skimmed this article over the other day (the link to it is much farther below; I wanted to say a few words first).

I’m over 40, the author was like 38 around the time of writing.

I don’t wish to re-read it, so I’m gong on memory. From what I remember, she seems to tilt to the belief that the older you get, the fewer decent men you have to choose from (I sometimes see this idea in regards to older women: that single women over the age of 35, 40 or 45 are somehow “flawed,” which is why they are still single, or single again).

The author therefore assumes if she does land a man at age 38 / 40, he is likely to be a loser or weirdo.

Look, I am not on board with that sort of negative, defeatist thinking. I’m over 40 and have never married (but yes, I was engaged to a guy for a few years. I have done the “serious relationship” thing).

Like all humans, yes, I have made mistakes in life and have a few odd-ball habits: but who does not. Still, for the most part, I am pretty normal. I’d make a great wife.

Therefore, any time I see married people or adult singles argue that singles over 35, 40, or older, are somehow losers or odd balls, I resent it – because, by default, you’re lumping me into that generalization. I am not a loser or a weirdo.

Over my time on the internet, especially since starting this blog, I’ve met other never-married or single again persons who are over the age of 35, and they’ve not been able to find a life partner. Not because they are losers, weirdos, or failures, but just for the simple fact that finding a compatible partner is not all that easy.

There are more never-married adults over 35 and 40 now (and “single again” adults) than at any time in our nation’s history, according to various news report I’ve seen the last 2 or 3 years. I find it hard to believe that all of the many thousands of over-40 singles are weirdos or too mal-adjusted to marry.

God knows I’m not as effed up as the (Link): married people I routinely blog about: the married, Christian men who rape their wives, abuse girlfriends, or who (Link): murder mistresses or who are arrested for fondling kids.

Continue reading “How to Date When You’re Almost Middle-Aged by A. Broadway”

Article on Christian Site Gives Advice to Christian Landlords on How to Discriminate Against Single Adult Renters

Article on Christian Site Gives Advice to Christian Landlords on How to Discriminate Against Single Adult Renters

This page reads like one big, long “how to” on how Christian landlords can get around laws to discriminate against unmarried adults. I am not so sure I am in agreement with this.

I realize that the Bible does not support hetero pre-marital sex, but I don’t know if I can support the idea of Christians wanting to bar adult singles from renting from them, on the off chance they may fornicate while renting – the Bible says in 1 Corinthians 7 it is better to stay single than to marry. It would seem to me that it would therefore be unbiblical for a Christian landlord to refuse to rent to a single adult based on his or her single status.

By the way, I have a collection of links on (Link): one page of this blog of married Christian couples who engaged in sexual sin, in some cases arrested for it (e.g., pedophilia, raping people, etc).

(Link):  Renting to Unmarried Couples: What Christian Property Owners Need to Know by Lara Sen

Excerpts:

  • As both a devout Christian and a property owner, working within the confines of the law can sometimes mean going against your personal religious beliefs. Where can we draw the line?
  • Here’s what Christian landlords need to know:
  • Fair Housing and Equal Opportunity
  • Under the Federal Fair Housing Act, which was passedin 1968, landlords (Link):  cannot refuse to discriminate based on certain identity markers – including race, color, religion, sex, or national origin. The law would be further amended in 1989 to prohibit discrimination based on disability or familial status.
  • In this case, familial status refers specifically to pregnant women and/or the presence of children under the age of 18 – including single parents with children.
  • An example of the Fair Housing Act in action is one, somewhat bizarre, case from 2011, in which a Wisconsin landlord  (Link): refused to rent a property to a single mother because there was no man “to shovel the snow.” The landlord was subsequently sued by the Department of Housing and Urban Development.
  • But What About Unmarried Couples?

Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

I believe I first saw this link on Melanie Notkin’s Twitter:

(Link):  Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes

Excerpts:

  • I’m a PANK. Yeah, you’re reading that right. I’m a PANK, a Professional Aunt No Kids.
  • ….I recently shared something on my personal Facebook page that reads, “I’m tired of hearing, ‘When are you going to get married and have kids?’ Let me tell you, I could have done that already and chose not to.

Continue reading “Please Stop Asking Me When I’m Getting Married and Having My Own Kids – by E. Barnes”

Dad Buys Full-Page $900 Newspaper Ad Seeking a Wife for His 48 Year Old, Never Married Son

Dad Buys Full-Page $900 Newspaper Ad Seeking a Wife for His 48 Year Old, Never Married Son

I hope this father realizes that men over 40 who father kids are more likely to father a kid with various diseases, see link 1, link 2, link 3.

(Link): Dad places newspaper ad to find wife for son

(Link):  Dad seeks ‘wife’ for 48-year-old son with full-page newspaper ad

(Link):  Wife wanted: Dad places spouse-needed ad in Idaho newspaper

  • The ad gives a brief description of Brooks, including a photo with the disclaimer, “I look just like my picture, except I now have grey hair.” The “About You” section states applicants “Will be attractive being height and weight proportional.” It also goes on to say that applicants should be prepared to have children with Brooks and also be a stay-at- home mom.

(Link):  MEDDLING BEVERLY HILLS DAD PUTS OUT FULL-PAGE AD TO FIND 48-YEAR-OLD SON A WIFE

  • He said his father has been ill and wants a grandson to carry on the family name.Brooks compared his father to Larry David’s character in the TV series “Curb Your Enthusiasm,” saying he “thinks he does the right thing, and then it all blows up in his face.”He said he’d never buy an ad like this himself, but “it’s worth a shot. Can’t hurt.”

(Link):  Full-page newspaper ad seeking wife

(Link): Dad Buys Full-Page $900 Newspaper Ad Seeking a Wife for His 48 Year Old, Never Married Son

  • One father in Beverly Hills is trying to find his son a wife the old-fashioned way.
  • Arthur Brooks, 78, spent $900 on a full-page ad in Idaho’s Coeur d’Alene Press newspaper using the headline “Looking For a Wife.”

Continue reading “Dad Buys Full-Page $900 Newspaper Ad Seeking a Wife for His 48 Year Old, Never Married Son”

Memes Against Marriage Pressure – A Group of Single Adults That Also Supports Celibacy

Memes Against Marriage Pressure – A Group of Single Adults That Also Supports Celibacy

(Link):  Memes Against Marriage Pressure

  • By Christine Franciska
  • BBC Indonesian Service
  • Marriage is seen as inevitable in Indonesian culture, with friends and family often putting pressure on young people to find a partner and settle down.
  • But one group of young people is fighting back, using social media to celebrate singlehood with laughter.
  • Jakarta Lonely Council (or Dewan Kesepian Jakarta) – a play on the name of a well-known independent art body Jakarta Art Council – has become a kind of Facebook haven for single people.
  • The group’s most popular posts are when they alter quotes from famous and prominent people to make memes related to single status, loneliness, and the feeling of longing for your ex.
  • “The compulsion of dating on Saturday night is a bourgeois conspiracy,” says one post. Another declares 14 February as Single Pride Day with the phrase: “Single, but proud.”
  • ‘Celibate for purpose’
  • One of the founders said the page was created two years ago for fun, because the members love making memes and wanted to laugh themselves.
  • “When we created the page, most of us were single. But now, one of us got married. How cruel is that?” said one of Jakarta Lonely Council’s initiator, who wanted to keep their identity anonymous.
  • The creators, mostly young people, come from different professions; one is a researcher, a writer, and a lecturer. They use “celibate for purpose” in many posts, to emphasise that being alone or single is a choice and there is nothing wrong with it.
  • Continue reading “Memes Against Marriage Pressure – A Group of Single Adults That Also Supports Celibacy”

    When Newsweek ‘Struck Terror in the Hearts of Single Women’ – Bogus Study Said Women Over 40 More Likely To Be Killed By A Terrorist Than to Marry

    When Newsweek ‘Struck Terror in the Hearts of Single Women’ – Bogus Study Said Women Over 40 More Likely To Be Killed By A Terrorist Than to Marry

    I was maybe a teen or in my 20s when this study came out. I remember at the time thinking it sounded pretty questionable and stupid.

    (Link):  When Newsweek ‘Struck Terror in the Hearts of Single Women’ by M. Garber

    Excerpts:

    • Thirty years ago, the magazine declared that single women over 40 are more likely to be killed by terrorism than to get married—prompting a nationwide crisis whose anxiety still lingers.
    • …Thirty years later—the publication date of the article was June 2—it’s easy to forget that the so-pervasive-as-to-be- (Link): Ephroned marriage-and-terrorism stat was plucked from a single piece of journalism that was in turn based on a study that was, at the time of the story’s publication, unpublished. It’s also easy to forget, given its resonance, that the stat comes from an article that has since been so (Link): thoroughly (Link): debunked, by demographers and sociologists and media outlets alike, that Newsweek, 20 years after the fact, (Link): retracted it.

    Continue reading “When Newsweek ‘Struck Terror in the Hearts of Single Women’ – Bogus Study Said Women Over 40 More Likely To Be Killed By A Terrorist Than to Marry”

    Three Lies Culture Tells Us About Being Single via Relevant Magazine

    Three Lies Culture Tells Us About Being Single via Relevant Magazine

    (Link):  Three Lies Culture Tells Us About Being Single via Relevant Magazine

    Excerpts:

    • …While we all know that TV portrayals [of adult singleness] are a far cry from reality, cultural influences like these—combined with the voices we pick up from church and our communities—all manage to creep into our expectations for what single life is really like.
    • But singleness is never as black and white as caricatures and stereotypes make it out to be. And the truth is, every person’s experience of singleness is going to look a little different. There are times when singleness provides freedom and flexibility that we know we’ll never experience in any other season, and it’s thrilling.
    • But there are also moments when singleness leads to feelings of disenchantment or disappointment, as men and women wonder how their individual story fits in with the bigger picture of God’s plan.
    • [Myths of Singleness]
    • 1. If you’re single, then your dating life is public domain. 

    • 2. If you’re single, then you’re selfish.
    • 3. If you’re single, then you’re not really an adult. 

    • Throughout my early and mid-twenties, I frequently related to Pinocchio. He wanted to be a real boy—I wanted to be a real adult.
    • But, in many instances I felt like I wouldn’t be able to earn the respect of a fully grown adult until I tied the knot.
    • I’ve talked to many single men and women in the church who have felt the same way.

    Continue reading “Three Lies Culture Tells Us About Being Single via Relevant Magazine”

    I’m Not Pining for a Long-Lost Love. I’m Single by Circumstance by S. Reed

    I’m Not Pining for a Long-Lost Love. I’m Single by Circumstance by S. Reed

    I wish more articles addressed the “single by circumstance” situation as the one I am linking to in this post does.

    Unfortunately, I don’t see too many articles about that topic, and in the meantime, a lot of conservative Christians who rail against delayed marriage, or declining marriage rates, assume that most or many single women are intentionally avoiding marriage.

    So, these conservative Christians (and sometimes secular conservative groups or people) scold women for being single, and they engage in fear mongering, where they do things like tell women they will supposedly die sooner or live miserable lives if they don’t have a husband (Bella DePaulo has refuted many of these types of claims, and I have a few posts about her work on my blog).

    Many single women – such as myself – wanted to get married and still want to – and I find it either hurtful, frustrating, or absolutely insulting and infuriating to see these articles (usually by conservatives) who assume I’ve remained single by choice, so they then shame or scold single women such as myself, or they feel they must argue me into getting, or convince me to, get married. However, I don’t need to be “sold” on marriage.

    I don’t need to be convinced that marriage is nice. I’m already sold on the idea or marriage.

    However, the fact remains that wanting something like marriage does not magically make it come to pass.

    Then, you have conservative authors (such as (Link): this one), assume I could easily get a boyfriend or husband if only I made myself weak and stupid to attract a man (or dropped a hell of a lot of standards).

    You see, it’s supposedly that pesky feminism or that stubborn insistence that I have self-confidence, or be independent, (or that a guy feel like a good match for me), that is keeping me from landing a man (*roll eyes* at all the backwards thinking and sexism in those assumptions).

    The simple truth is, you can be a great person – smart, funny, attractive, and have a host of other great qualities – and just not be able to meet a comparable person you would like to partner with. Nor should you dumb yourself down and become clingy and needy in the hopes doing so will attract a partner.

    Speaking of all that, like the author of this article does, I too tire of societal assumptions that if you are single, or have not married past a certain age, it must necessarily mean you are horribly flawed in some way. You can be a good person and a good catch but simply never run into anyone decent, or not anyone who is compatible with you.

    (Link): I’m Not Pining for a Long-lost Love. I’m Single by Circumstance by S. Reed

    Excerpts:

    • ….Countless movies, books, televisions shows, musicals and operas teach us to believe there’s someone out there for everyone: Just wish on a star, or get a makeover, or take a chance and boom! True love will find you. So if you haven’t found that person — or lost him somehow — people have trouble understanding why.
    • ….For some, that glaring absence can be explained only by some horrible flaw I must possess or a love gone wrong in my past. Although I have many faults, I’ve never noticed that folks who are in relationships are perfect. And when I look back at my romantic history, I think: “That’s a lot of bullets dodged.”

    Continue reading “I’m Not Pining for a Long-Lost Love. I’m Single by Circumstance by S. Reed”

    Preacher Says in Sermon that Single Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Who Have Retarded Spirits and This Creates Dating Problems for Women

    Preacher Says in Sermon that Single Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Who Have Retarded Spirits and This Creates Dating Problems for Women

    According to this preacher, if you are an unmarried man who plays video games, you have a “retarded spirit.”

    If you are a hetero single man, would you say that is a step up or a step down from being assumed to be homosexual, as far as assumptions, insults, and stereotypes about unmarried men go (especially ones by Christians)?

    I do believe pastor Mark Driscoll (who is very sexist against women) has also said similar things about unmarried men, back when he was heading Mars Hill church.

    I’m pretty sure that (Link): this is the church’s home page.

    (Link):  Pastor: Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers

    (Link):  Christian Pastor Says Men Who Play Video Games Are Losers Possessed by a “Retarded Spirit”

    (Link):  Texas preacher tries — and fails — to scrub rant about video games giving men ‘retarded spirit’

    • The pastor for an Arlington, Texas church tried to hide video of a sermon in which he blamed video games for dating problems within his congregation, (Link): the Friendly Atheist reported.
    • The Faith Christian Center had originally posted Pastor Gene Lingerfelt’s remarks on its Vimeo account. But the video was taken down after the sermon began to attract attention online, as seen below.
    • [The preacher in the video said:] “There are young gals in this church. Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful young gals, and you know why they can’t get a date? ‘Cause that retarded spirit got onto young men.”
    • Despite the pastor’s criticism, (Link): the Entertainment Software Review Board found that the average age of a gamer is 34, while the average video game buyer is 39 years old.

    Related Posts:

    (Link): Theme Park Bans Single Adults For Fear They Are All Pedophiles

    (Link):  Stigmas and Stereotypes of Single Unmarried Men Over 25 or 30 Years of Age – They’re Supposedly All Homosexual or Pedophiles

    (Link):  Christian Blogger About Divorce, Pastor Andrew Webb, Thinks All To Most Mid-Life Never – Married or Single – Again Adults Are Mal-Adjusted, Ugly Losers Who Have Too Much Baggage

    (Link): Church Allows Pedophile To Lead Bible Studies, Hails Pedo as a “Hero” – Meanwhile, Many Churches  Refuse to Allow Celibate, Single Adults to Hold Any Sort of Leadership Positions

      (Link):  “You’re not a real man until you have children” by G. Proops – women should be able to relate to this too
    (Link):  Mark Driscoll’s Hypocrisy About Single Men – and other Driscoll stuff

    (Link): Adult Singleness and Virginity Ridiculed by Preacher Mark Driscoll from 2000 – and anti Homosexual and Sexist Rhetoric

    (Link): Aged Out of Church by M Van Loon (For Christians over the Age of 35 – 40)

    The Lobster: A Dystopian Tour de Force (A Movie About Adult Singles)

    The Lobster: A Dystopian Tour de Force (A Movie About Adult Singles)

    (Link): The Lobster: A Dystopian Tour de Force (A Movie About Adult Singles) by C. Orr

    • Yorgos Lanthimos’s allegorical rumination on finding a mate is witty, cruel, and deeply unsettling.
    • …Thus opens The Lobster, the stunning English-language debut of the Greek director Yorgos Lanthimos. A black comedy laced with moments of shocking cruelty, the film is a dystopian allegory about the human need to find a mate—a brilliant, if morbid, meditation on relationships in the age of the dating app.

    Continue reading “The Lobster: A Dystopian Tour de Force (A Movie About Adult Singles)”

    World’s Oldest Woman Said Secret to Long Life is Staying Single

    World’s Oldest Woman Said Secret to Long Life is Staying Single

    (Link): World’s Oldest Woman Said Secret to Long Life is Staying Single

    Excerpts:

    • by Y. Shah
    • The world has a new oldest person. Meet Emma Morano of Verbania, Italy. At 116-years-old, Morano is believed to be the last documented person alive who was born in the 1800s.

    Continue reading “World’s Oldest Woman Said Secret to Long Life is Staying Single”

    Seven Truths About Marriage You Won’t Hear in Church by F. Powell

    Seven Truths About Marriage You Won’t Hear in Church by F. Powell

    I first saw this link Tweeted by Jory Michah’s Twitter, who got it from Relevant.

    • My blog stalker, (Link): John Morgan will now probably blog about this on his blog (without crediting myself and/or Jory Michah), or, he’ll probably leave a comment on this blog post at Relevant that I am citing in my post

    Most of the page is pretty good, but as you know, I don’t accept the “Equally Yoked” teaching, which the author of this page advocates.

    First of all, there has been a Christian man shortage in America for decades now, leaving Christian single women with no recourse but to marry Non-Christian men.

    Secondly, I have (Link): news story after news story on my blog of professing Christian men who have been arrested for using child porn or for beating or murdering their wives – such being the case, a woman is just as well-off marrying an ethical, kind atheist man as she would taking a chance on a Christian single man (provided she can even find one).

    (Link):  7 Truths About Marriage You Won’t Hear in Church by F Powell

    Excerpts:

    • 2. There is More Than One Person Out There You Could Marry.
    • 4. A Spouse Does Not Complete You.
    • Jerry Maguire has brainwashed a generation of people to believe a lie. Spouses do not complete people. I bought this lie, and it wasn’t until I let go of any notion my wife could fill some void that I was able to truly love her. I had been expecting Tiffani to do something only God can do.

    Continue reading “Seven Truths About Marriage You Won’t Hear in Church by F. Powell”

    Singles Shaming Mother: Her Sons are in their 30s, Great Guys, But She’s Freaking Because They’re Not Married (letter to Hax columnist)

    Singles Shaming Mother: Her Sons are in their 30s, Great Guys, But She’s Freaking Because They’re Not Married (letter to Hax columnist)

    Letter to advice columnist Hax from some woman, April 2016.

    This letter made me cringe for the singles-shaming attitudes in it.

    Hi, Carolyn:

    • I feel sad and worry about my sons, who are around 30. Both have college degrees, promising careers and a decent network of friends, and both have had past relationships.
    • But each lives alone and neither is in a committed relationship.

    Continue reading “Singles Shaming Mother: Her Sons are in their 30s, Great Guys, But She’s Freaking Because They’re Not Married (letter to Hax columnist)”

    Bethke: “Christians Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence”

    Bethke: “Christians Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence”

    Before I get to the link itself (the editorial is located on The Christian Post site), whoever Tweeted the link to the article via Christian Post targeted “Young” Christians. I tweeted that account to tell them their quote – “[Christians] Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence” applies equally to older Christians as well.

    I find it irritating that frequently, when commentary about marriage comes up on Christian sites, nine times out of ten, it addresses singles who are in their 20s, or at least younger than age 35. There are adults singles who are over the age of 35, and I am sick and tired of this group being ignored.

    My second point of contention is the headline itself as it appears on the Post’s page:

    • Jefferson Bethke to Christian Singles: Don’t Make Marriage an Idol

    Normally when I link to other people’s blog posts or to news articles, I like to keep the original headline intact, or as close to the original as I can. In this case, I opted to change it as it appears in the heading on my blog. I find that headline as it appears on The Post to be problematic and troubling, because it seems to imply that a single adult wanting to get married is idolatry itself.

    That is not so. Merely wanting something it not necessarily tantamount to making whatever that ‘something’ is into an idol.

    Too often, Christians shame single adults for wanting to be married – stop it.Stop doing that. There is nothing wrong with a single adult wanting to be married or experiencing episodic bouts of unhappiness or frustration with being single when they’d prefer to be married.

    Secondly, it’s generally not adult singles who make marriage into an idol, but churches, church culture, and 95% of married Christians.

    Often times, married Christians make marriage out to be God’s intended purpose for most people, and they behave as though singleness is “second class,” a mistake, a bad thing, or a disease to be cured.

    Would yours truly writing this post like to be married? Yes. However, this does not mean I take kindly to either being ignored due to my single status or treated as though I am not worthy, good, or worthwhile because I am single. (Please see this post on my blog for more on that.)

    Here is the link to the Christian Post editorial (I changed the headline in my link to something less grating)  what he says in this interview / editorial applies to singles of all ages, not just “young Christians”:

    (Link): Bethke: “Christians Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence”

    • Young Christians should understand that being single is acceptable within the church, and they should avoid an idolatrous worship of marriage, evangelical speaker Jefferson Bethke said in a recent YouTube video.
    • In a brief video on his personal channel, Bethke addressed the idea of singleness, suggesting that often times, the modern church does a poor job of making single Christians feel welcome and accepted.
    • His message, he explains, is directed specifically at church leadership, as he believes churches need to sincerely ask themselves “are we making a space for single people?”
    • “So many times, we do such a bad job of creating a space for singles,” Bethke explains, adding that young Christians “do not need to get married to live a full and flourishing existence.”
    • Bethke notes that while church leadership don’t explicitly say it, singles can feel like “you’re a JV Christian until you get married.”

    Continue reading “Bethke: “Christians Do Not Need To Get Married To Live A Full And Flourishing Existence””