This New Year’s Eve, Celebrate the Women Who Choose to Stay Single by Amy Polacko 

This New Year’s Eve, Celebrate the Women Who Choose to Stay Single by Amy Polacko

(Link): This New Year’s Eve, Celebrate the Women Who Choose to Stay Single  

Excerpts:

We unmarrieds may have no “other half,” but we are far from alone. Nearly 50 percent of the U.S. population is single, and many of us wouldn’t have it any other way.

By Amy Polacko, divorce coach and journalist
Are you by yourself? Did you come alone? What — no date? Hey, I know this nice guy …

Nothing — I mean nothing — brings out the cupid busybodies like New Year’s Eve. But you can stop asking us single ladies, “So, who will you be kissing at midnight?” We’re content that the answer is “no one.”

…We unmarried maids may have no “other half,” but we are far from alone. Nearly 50 percent of the U.S. population is single — compared to 29 percent of households in 1990. A recent Pew Research Center report on census data showed the spike among singles over the past 30 years came largely from those who have never been married.

Contrary to sad stereotypes, many single women wouldn’t have it any other way. This New Year’s, instead of bugging women about their single status when the ball drops, try celebrating it along with them.

…Elizabeth Engelberg, a clinical psychologist, noted that many women today “are not willing to put up with things they have in the past — especially if they’ve had a tough marriage or two.” Another factor in the singledom surge, she said, is that “some women want an authentic connection and just can’t find the right one.”

With more women working, marriage is becoming a choice — not a necessity.

Plus, 77 percent of Americans say divorce is morally acceptable, up 18 points from 2001, according to a 2019 Gallup poll.

Both developments mean women are increasingly willing to hold out for everything they want in a mate, or, as Engelberg put it, “They’re simply less willing to settle.”

…Engelberg said men, on the other hand, are more likely to accept a partner who’s not a perfect match just to avoid being alone.

In 2017, U.K. data analysts Mintel found that 49 percent of men reported being happy solo versus 61 percent of single women.

Plus, 75 percent of unattached ladies said they were not actively looking for a significant other, compared to 65 percent of men who said the same.

A study by Paul Dolan, professor of behavioral science at the London School of Economics and Political Science, found the healthiest and happiest group in our entire population is single women who don’t have children and were never married.

…Bell would also like a relationship at some point. “I think that when I find the right person to be under the mistletoe with, it will be great,” she said. “Until I find that person, I’ll wait.”

I’m with her. I’d rather have nothing than nothing special.

Indeed, when women make a conscious decision to remain single, they feel good about that choice, Engelberg said. It’s not lonely or pathetic. It’s empowering. So stop putting pressure on us to race to the altar.

Bell seconded that and urged her three millennial daughters to focus on having good careers and great friends rather than a ring.


Related:

(Link): Dear Prudence: Help! I’m Glad My Awful Husband Is Dead.

(Link): Unmarried and Childless Women Are the Happiest, Happiness Expert Claims

(Link): ‘Marriage Changes When You Don’t Just Need A Warm Body and a Paycheck’: A Talk With Rebecca Traister

(Link): Fewer Americans Think Marriage is Needed To Create Strong Families, New Poll Suggest

(Link): Woman Wildly Happy She Got Divorced (Dear Abby Column)

(Link):   Why We Thought Marriage Made Us Healthier, and Why We Were Wrong by Bella DePaulo

(Link):  Codependence Is Not Oneness: What Christians Get Wrong About Relationships

(Link): I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf

(Link):  Do You Need a Partner to Have a Happy Life? by D. LaBier

(Link):  I’m in My 40s, Child-Free and Happy. Why Won’t Anyone Believe Me? By Glynnis MacNicol

(Link):  Craigslist confessional: I’m in my 40s, never married, and a virgin—but I’m happy by Abigail

(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40

(Link): Coronavirus: Even Married People With Children Die All Alone

(Link):  Adult Singles Do Not Need A Marital Partner to Be Whole or Complete

(Link): Research: Being Single [or Fear of Being Single] is a Meaningful Predictor of Settling for Less in Relationships 

(Link): Single Adult Christian Pressured Into Marriage by Her Church – And Regrets It

(Link):  Getting Married Is Not an Accomplishment by N. Brooke

(Link): Widower to Advice Columnist Talks about Being Stereotyped by Married Couples or Ignored by Other Marrieds Since His Wife has Died

(Link): Widows and Childless and Childfree Have Better Well Being Than Married Couples and Parents says new study

(Link): Christmas Morning House Fire Leaves Father and Two Children Dead, Wife and Oldest Child Injured

(Link): What You Lose When You Gain a Spouse – What if marriage is not the social good that so many believe and want it to be? by M. Catron 

(Link): When You’re Married and Lonely by J. Slattery

(Link): Woman Says She is Lonely in Marriage to Husband Who Ignores Her in Favor of His Job, Watching TV, etc.

(Link): Critique of: Why Single Men May Not Be Having the Most Fun by W. B. Wilcox (who tends to be a marriage idolater and anti-singles bigot)

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