Married People Revealed The Darkest Secrets They’ve Been Keeping From Their Spouses For Years, And Some Of These Are Heartbreaking
To anyone who may be new to this blog:
I am not anti-nuclear family, anti-marriage, or anti-parenthood, but I do oppose conservatives, Christians, or any person or group who deifies any of those things, or who pressures or shames people into getting married and having children.
I think pieces like the one below put to bed the common Christian “marriage fairy tale” narrative (that used to be more common in secular culture too), that if you just marry (and have children), that you will find happiness and meaning; all your dreams will come true.
You have all these married people in these confessions below who still are not happy, in spite of the fact they are married, and some of them have children, too.
Excerpts:
“Having children has made me hate him.”
by Liz Richardson
A while back, redditor u/dusty_ninja asked the internet, “What is the darkest thing you have kept from your partner?” Several married people shared shocking secrets they’ve been keeping from their spouses — and some of them are heartbreaking.
Here are some of the most surprising ones:
…2. “I’m afraid to tell my husband that before we met and got married, I was hooking up with a married man.”
“It happened at a time when I wasn’t in a good place (I know it’s bad what I did). Even if my husband is not judgmental at all and doesn’t care about past behaviors, I’m afraid he might see me differently.”
—tidissik
3. “That having children has made me hate him.”
“He loves his kids and provides for them financially, but I do everything else — and he only helps if I ask or direct him to. It’s exhausting, and I’ve never been more resentful/angry at someone else so much in my entire life.”
5. “I never told my wife that her mother tried to have sex with me.”
“It was early in our marriage, when we were living with her to save money for our own place. Her marriage of 28 years had ended badly, and she was emotionally fragile.
She was very drunk and was absolutely horrified at what she had done when she sobered up. I promised not to ever tell my wife, and I never did — even when she and I were fighting near the end of our marriage. Some things are too cruel to do, even when you’re trying to hurt each other.”
—u/46from1971
7. “I’ve slept with his boss — and I know he slept with one of his coworkers.”
12. “I hate that she compares me to her ex-husband, and I have to prove her wrong over and over again.”
“I hate that I have to pay for past mistakes. I’m starting to wonder if I can keep doing this. I really do love her, but it’s making me depressed.”
—u/Important_Scratch_72
19. “I have thoughts of suicide, but I can’t do that to my husband and kids.”
“I was born with only one hand. I have rheumatoid arthritis in the one hand I have, and I know it’s spreading. I have osteoarthritis in my lower back and scoliosis to the point where I am most likely going to need spine surgery.
I’m only 31 years old. I can’t do this for another 50+ years.
I am in such bad pain now and it’s only going to get worse. I don’t want my husband to turn into a caregiver. I can’t envision not being able to take care of myself.”
—u/OneHandedMolly
Related:
(Link): Chronic Pain and the Self Pity, Depression Trap
(Link): Victim Syndrome (‘Are You A Victim of the Victim Syndrome’) – by Insead
(Link): I’m 37, I Might Be Single For Ever — and I’m Happy With That by Aimée Lutkin
(Link): Are You Stuck in the “I’ll Feel Better When” Cycle? by Diana Hill, phD
(Link): Single Adult Christian Pressured Into Marriage by Her Church – And Regrets It
(Link): Study: Got Married Sooner Than You Hoped? That’s Depressing
(Link): Dear Prudence: Help! I’m Glad My Awful Husband Is Dead.
(Link): 30 Mothers Who Regret Giving Birth Share Why
(Link): Unmarried and Childless Women Are the Happiest, Happiness Expert Claims
(Link): Parents Who Regret Having Children Speak Honestly About Why It Was A Huge Mistake
(Link): The Two Reasons Parents Regret Having Kids
(Link): Happy Mother’s Day From the Moms on Whisper Who Hate Their Kids
(Link): Mother’s Day Ain’t A Happy Holiday For Some
(Link): “I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post)
(Link): Parents Who Regret Having Children Speak Honestly About Why It Was A Huge Mistake
(Link): “I Regret Having Children” – Various Mothers Interviewed (via NY Post)
(Link): Motherhood Is Not A Woman’s Most Important Job by J. Wright
(Link): Craigslist confessional: I’m in my 40s, never married, and a virgin—but I’m happy by Abigail
(Link): Myths About Never Married Adults Over Age 40
(Link): How the ‘Solo’ Movement is Rewriting Misconceptions of ‘Sad, Lonely’ Single Life
(Link): I Married Young. I Was Widowed Young. I Never Want A Long-Term Partner Again by R. Woolf
(Link): Adult Singles Do Not Need A Marital Partner to Be Whole or Complete
(Link): I’m in My 40s, Child-Free and Happy. Why Won’t Anyone Believe Me? By Glynnis MacNicol
(Link): Woman Wildly Happy She Got Divorced (Dear Abby Column)
(Link): Please Stop Shaming Me for Being Single by J. Vadnal
Christian Pundit 